The only positive thing in Niall's life at that point were letters he received from Michelle on a sporadic basis. He kept them all in one of his books for safe keeping. He received the first letter nearly a year into sentence.
Dear Niall,
Not sure how easily this letter will get to ye. Mammy watches me like a fuckin' hawk 'round the mail! I'd love to visit ye, but I no proper way to do so! I know ye killed someone, but it was an accident and ye're still my brother! Ye're a good person who just got caught up in some Provo shit! It's not the same here without ye. Mammy and Daddy won't say yer name. Ryan also misses the shit outta you's! He argues with Mammy and Daddy on an almost daily fuckin' basis! Says he's goin' to move out soon as he's 18 and go off to university in Belfast! Christ, but I'll miss him! Grady doesn't seem to fully understand what happened. I really fuckin' miss ye. I wish ye could write back, but I know Mammy would just throw them away b'fore I had a chance to read 'em. I wish this fuckin' nonsense would just stop already an' ye could come home! On a lighter note, Erin's Ma, Mary, had herself a new wain! Her name is Anna and she's fuckin' adorable! Other than that, not a lot to report about. Anyway, hope I can get another letter to ye soon.
- Love, Michelle XOXO
That first letter, along with Michelle's words of wanting all this to just end, were the biggest motivation for Niall to let go of the hate that got drilled into him. He'd usually get a letter from Michelle every few months or so, typically about what she and her crazy friends got up to. He has some memories of Erin Quinn, the wannabe writer, her cousin Orla McCool, described by many (including Michelle) as an oddball (no doubt inherited from her equally strange Ma), and Clare Devlin, the wee walkin' cack attack. He recalls Mr. and Mrs, Quinn being good people, though Erin's Granda Joe often gave his son in law an unnecessarily hard time. A new baby would surely liven things up. He received a series of letters throughout '94.
MOTHERFUCKER!
"Motherfucker" is my new thing. Watched this film, called Pulp Fiction. Da got it off Pyro Pauline, and it's about these two lads, and they wear these cracking suits and they rock about, just shooting people and eating cheeseburgers, and they're all, "Motherfucker this, motherfucker that." It's got the disco dancer from Look Who's Talkin' in it, plus that massive ride from Die Hard, but he doesn't say "Yippe-ki-yay, motherfucker" in this one. 'Sides that, I don't even know where to fuckin' begin with the new shit goin' on with me in the Girls!
Well, first off, we got someone new livin' with us! Remember Ma's sister Kathy? Ye were pretty wee when she ran off to England to get an abortion. She got divorced recently after gettin' caught doin' the dirty with some other fella, an' she came back to Derry with quite the fuckin' surprise! Turns out, she never got the abortion! Had herself an English prick of a son! His name is James, and SWEET JESUS can be be a massive ballache!
Cuz everyone was havin' cack attacks over the English thing, James became the first fella to attend Our Lady Immaculate College. On his first fuckin' day at school he wouldn't shut the fuck up about not bein' permitted to use the school toilets (fuckin' pervert!). Same day we all got detention because one of us (Erin!) thought it was a good idea to attempt bullying a first year! The nun watchin' us durin' detention fuckin' died on us! Also that crazy bitch Kathy ditched James to go back to London, leaving the idiot with us! Hopefully I'll write again soon! I also hope ye're doin' ok in there... just don't drop the soap, ye hear?
-Love, Michelle XOXO
Niall was very surprised by that bit of news. He vaguely remembered Aunt Kathy, being 3 or 4 when she ran off to England for what was an unknown reason to him at the time. Ma was pregnant with Michelle by that point. An English cousin? He had a chuckle with that bitter irony. As for Michele accusing Erin of the attempted bullying, Niall wasn't buying that. He remembers Erin being too good natured for that (even if a bit high strung), but Michelle has had a temper for as long as he could remember. Her language had also gotten more colorful.
MOTHERFUCKER!
Overall, James isn't so bad for an English, but he's still annoying as fuck at times! Prick doesn't like the food at Fionnula's shop! Says it's too greasy! Fuckin' embarrassing! Same week at school we get told about a trip to Paris, but the fuckin' fees are crazy high! That's when Erin gets the insane idea to steal Fionnula's bulletin board full of job flyers! Could've just taken the flyers off, but she was massively blutered at the time! We all ended up gettin' banned from her shop! We tried gertin' the ban lifted by cleaning up her place, but Erin set her curtains on fire after fuckin' about with alcohol! What a dose! Hope ye're doin' ok in there... ya silly bastard!
Love, Michelle XOXO
Niall continued to be amused by his sister's blatant lies (and little quips towards him at the end). How could James not like Fionnula's food? Didn't the English invent fish n' chips? That shit is famous for being greasy! At least he seemed to be keeping Michelle busy, along with the rest of her friends.
MOTHERFUCKER!
Fuckin' exams were comin' up, and as ye can guess, I was not prepared for that shit! While attemptin' to study, Erin wouldn't shut her hole about her fuckin' dog dying! Clare guzzled down god knows how many energy drinks, Orla was doin' whatever the fuck, and James got confused with the timelines because of all the times his fuckin' lot invaded our lot! Fuckin' English prick! Erin tried to talk her way outta goin' to school, claimin' she was too broken up over the loss of Toto (the dog). Mary was of course havin' none of that shit!
On our way 'round to school, Erin thought she saw a dog that looked exactly like Toto, runnin' like mad after it, with us followin'." The dog ran into the church, where Clare decided to pray to a statue of Big M for the exams. We all joined in because fuck it. In her knackered state, Clare thought Big M smirked at her, so I went along with it! Orla claimed to see it too, but that's just Orla. But then we saw the statue cryin' actual fuckin' tears! A motherfuckin' miracle? Can ye believe that shit!?
Well turns out that dog Erin chased after had just pissed on the statue. We only kept up the lie longer than necessary because they called in this priest, Father Peter, who was a massive ride! The fella appeared to be havin' a crisis of faith or some shit, and he thought Erin's dog fuckin' resurrected! Turns out Mary had just given Toto to Maureen Malarkey. When he found out the miracle was balls, he left and shacked up with some slutty hairdresser. Fuckin' crazy right!? Hope ye're holdin' up in there.
- Love, Michelle XOXO
Jesus, that was a trip! Sounds like Michelle and friends were never at a loss for shenanigans. Lusting after a priest was probably considered a sin, but Niall would be lying if there wasn't a younger nun at his school who was quite attractive. Sister Mary What-a-Waste the fellas nicknamed her.
YO MOTHERFUCKER!
School had over some Russian kids who were dealin' with some kinda radioactive shit. Ma said we didn't have room for one because of Dicko (James), but Erin and Orla got one. Her name is Katya, an' the radiation must've really fucked up her brain, cuz she started snoggin' James basically the moment she saw him! Boke-o-rama! We got invited to a house party by that overly chipper idiot, Jenny Joyce (pretty sure I've brought her up), to celebrate the Russian kids.
Clare for some insane reason decides to wear a shirt with a Union Jack slapped across her tits as some kinda fucked up protest! Erin got obsessed with tryin' to stop James from sleepin' with Katya for some reason, even accusin' her of bring a hooker and gettin' us all kicked out of the party! Jenny's house was absolutely cracker by the way! Eight bedrooms and a chocolate fuckin' fountain! Orla pretty much ate the whole thing! Wish he could've seen it! I really miss ye dick face!
- Love, Michelle XOXO
So the wee English fella got his first kiss from a Russian girl visiting Derry? What a strange, crazy, beautiful world we lived in. Crazy seemed to be the best way to describe Michelle and her friends as well. What the hell would possess Clare to wear a Union Jack shirt? Sounds like Erin fancy's James, given how adamant she was in trying to stop him from sleeping with the Russian girl. Michelle seemed oblivious to this. Or she just didn't give a shit (the latter seeming most likely).
DEAR MOTHERFUCKER!
Those Oranger fuckers are marchin' in Derry again! Christ, but they are loud! Mammy dumped me and James at Erin's house as her family was goin' on a road trip to get the fuck away from all that shit. Clare was yamnerin' on about some book involving a whale's dick. Jesus, she's got weird taste in books! Gerry got us out of the chaos by pretendin' to be a Japanese tourist! Mary had a cack attack about not havin' the right currency for the trip, so we had to pull over so Gerry could check the boot of the car for her spare purse.
Well fuck me, there was a Provo fella stowin' away in there! Called himself Emmett, and he was a pretty decent lookin' fella, despite havin' a ginger tinge. BOKE! Orla's Ma, Sarah, had predicted I would meet my dream fella soon (she took a psychic course), so I figured he was the one. Gerry went off on a waitress after Joe told him to sack up, only fer the poor girl to break into tears because of personal shit. Of course Joe gave Gerry shit over that too, an' we all went along because God help ye if you end up in Joe's line of fire! Emmett ended up ditchin' us fer another boot to hide in, and he stole a tent that Dicko was lookin' after. Rest of that trip was borin' really. Still hope you're doin' ok, ye silly bastard.
- Love, Michelle XOXO
Oh God, those Orange Parades! Niall remembered them vividly! Noisy bastards! But, in a crazy way, he missed seeing them.
DEAR MOTHERFUCKER!
Clare's a lesbian! A real life lezzie in our school! We didn't actually know till after Erin decided to publish her anonymous essay in the school paper. Admittedly, I attempted to claim it was me to get some attention. Not my finished moment I admit. Erin didn't seem too ok with Clare comin' out at first, but thank fuck we got over that shit fast! We even bought these cracker rainbow pins to show our support for our wee lesbian friend! Ye better be ok with that, cuz no way I'll forgive ye if ye're not!
- Love, Michelle XOXO
What a surprise that was. Someone being openly gay in Northern Ireland of all places. Things were changing faster than Niall expected, and he'd only been locked up a couple years by then.
HEY, MOTHERFUCKER!
Our school did this meet up with an all boys Protestant school as some kind of peace shit. Jenny Joyce had to show off her wealth by gettin' this fuckin' cracker gift! James and Orla had to share a Protestant, and mine was a massive ride! Sister Michael and the other school's headmistress were joined by none other than Father Peter! Fuck-a-doodle-do! Remember him? Apparently the slutty hairdresser dumped him! Sister Michael had a fun time with that bit of craic, she did!
We snuck into a room to have some fun. The Protestant I was paired up with was up for makin' out, but he had some kinda fuckin' chastity bracelet! What the fuck is that shit!? I thought Prods were less repressed than Catholics!? Jenny then ruined the whole thing by snitchin' on us to Sister Michael! Christ, but she's annoyin'! Next day, they set us up for rock climbin', and Clare had a massive cack attack, thinkin' her Prod was tryin' to kill her an' all Catholics! A scuffle soon broke out an' our parents got called in.
Also, Mammy lent her big bowl to Mary, then decided to let her have it. Mary, for some insane reason, wouldn't let it the fuck go! I don't get parents, seriously!
Then a little later we got this cracker new English teacher, Ms. De Brún! Her style is absolute class and she rides a fuckin' motorcycle! She even invited us for drinks 'round her house! Fuckin' class! We then thought she got fired and tried holdin' a baby Jesus statue hostage cuz Sister Michael Fancied it! James caused it's head to break off, then Orla glued the fuckin' head on upside down! Christ, but she's a goof! Send ye another letter soon, hopefully.
- Love, Michelle XOXO
Jesus, Michelle! It's certainly never a dull moment with that lot.
MOTHERFUCKER!
Take That! Motherfuckin' Take That was playin' in Belfast! Shit almost went tits up because the parents flipped out over a fuckin' polar bear escapin' the Belfast zoo! As if a polar bear gonna go to a fuckin' concert! So we snuck out and boarded a bus! Clare bein' the walkin' cack attack she is thought she needed a disguise, lookin' like a fuckin' Provo (no offense)! Sister Michael happened to be on the bus, an' she tried movin' my booze filled suitcase. We denied it was ours, so the fuckin' bomb squad came in and shot it with one of those robots! Fuckin' waste!
So then we had to walk to Belfast, encounterin' gypsies that we thought were gonna harm us. We then bitched a ride with this crazy peddler who was plannin' to sell bootleg shit at the concert. It wasn't till she hit a sheep that we realized we left James behind! Fuckin' eejit, he is! I wanted to leave 'em, but Erin claims he had the tickets! Personally, I think she was talkin' a load of shit, but arguin' would only delay things further. Thankfully we found Dicko and made it to the concert! Fuckin' cracker, it was! Hope ye can get some concerts some day!
- Love, Michelle XOXO
Niall was happy to read Michelle wasn't rebelling the way he did. Jesus, what an eejit he'd been. Could've been going to concert with his friends instead.
YO MOTHERFUCKER!
Mary fuckin' hexed her rude old aunt to death at a wedding! No shit! Told her to drop dead, and she did so on the fuckin' spot! Fuck-a-doodle-do but it was shocking! James was uncomfortable 'round the corpse. Apparently he'd never been 'round one. Fuckin' English, I swear to God!
I got a cracker idea to share some pot laces scones at the wake, only for some old bitty to snatch 'em from us! We shifted our holes fast as we could go get 'em all back. Erin wanted us to dispose of the evidence, and Dicko said we should flush 'em down the toilet like in Goodfellas. Went about as well as ye'd expect! Wasted some perfectly good pot! Ye gettin' any good shit in there? Share if ye can!
- Love, Michelle XOXO
Niall didn't think he could laugh at a subject involving death, but Michelle seemed to always find a way to make anything funny to him.
MOTHERFUCKER!
For once Jenny Joyce wasn't totally useless! She set up a prom at the school! I couldn't choose between two fellas, so I just invited both and tried keepin' 'em separate. That proved impossible! Erin was gonna take Clare as her date to the dance as a kind of statement, but completely changed her tune when this eejit John Paul got dumped in front of us. We tried to befriend this new girl, who's Chinese but from Donegal, and she was went with Clare to the prom.
Turns out she was a total psycho bitch, who got kicked out of her previous school, an' she wanted revenge on Jenny for reserving a dress she also fancied. She pulled a Carrie (which Clare hasn't seen!), which thankfully wasn't pigs blood, just tomato sauce. A bunch of us got doused in the stuff, ruinin' a cracker dress I had on that I was also gonna return. Mammy was fuckin' fumin'!
Also, Erin got stood up by John Paul (fucker), but then Mary rang James up, who put off goin' to some Doctor Who creep convention to take Erin to the prom. Moments like that make think he's not such a dick.
- Love, Michelle XOXO
That wee English fella and Erin definitely fancied each other.