Why You Gotta Be So Cold?

Summary: AH – Fifteen years ago, Bonnie broke Damon's heart and left her hometown in Montana for the city life in New York. But when her dad dies, she's forced to come back and take over his legacy…the Bennett Ranch. Warning: Rated M for dark and angsty themes, OOC Bonnie, and adult content.

AN: This is inspired by one of my new favorite shows 'Yellowstone'. You don't need to watch the show, or understand what it's about, but it's loosely based on certain parts with my own spin. (No spoilers, don't worry) And I love this song! So, I encourage you to give it a listen. If you love cowboys (Which I really do lol) and lots of drama, I suggest you try it out! Damon in a cowboy hat, people! It's happening!

Song Inspiration: Cold – Chris Stapleton

…

What am I supposed to say
If anybody asks me about you?
I guess I'll tell 'em I'm without you
How am I supposed to live
When I built my life around you?
Try to put yourself in my shoes

Oh, why you got to be so cold?
Why you got to go and cut me like a knife
And put our love on ice?
Oh, girl, you know you left this hole
Right here in the middle of my soul
Oh, why you got to be so cold?

…

Damon rode into the ranch from the pastures on Phantom – his black stallion, slowing from a gallop to a trot as he approached the stables. The last two months had been somber around here for everyone, and while Damon did his best to harden his shell and hold up the rest of the people here, the loss of their leader was weighing heavy on him. Rudy Bennett was the closest thing he had to a father…and one of his closest friends, and now he was gone. Rudy only had two children of his own; Jamie, his youngest, who stood by Rudy while he ran the ranch, and the other…he couldn't even say her name – she wanted nothing to do with this place, or him.

He still had no idea what had gone wrong between them all those years ago. One day they were crazy in love with each other, planning their future here on this ranch, and the next she was walking out the door without so much as a goodbye. He brought his horse into the stables, and made his way to his cabin to turn in for the night. Over the last few weeks, he'd found himself riding to the farthest perimeter of the ranch just to clear his head; it beat drowning himself in the bottom of a bottle. He climbed the steps of his home, and pushed the door open, shrugging out of his jacket and hanging it on the hook, he stopped when his eyes landed on a suitcase.

He took two cautious steps further into the room, it took him a moment to register who was sitting on his sofa. Feet encased in classy red pumps, crossed legs long and bare, a glass of bourbon in her hand and an icy smirk on her lips. "Hi honey…I'm home."

Damon scoffed ironically, meticulously removing his cowboy hat and placing it on the nearby credenza. "And here I thought I'd never see you again." It took all his will power to keep a level head in this moment. He had the urge to yell at her while simultaneously kissing her senseless. Instead, he crossed his arms and held her challenging stare. "How long are you here for?"

She rolled her eyes, and finished her drink, pushing to her feet with a slight wobble. "Oh come on Damon. Don't act like you aren't happy to see me." Bonnie's heels clicked on the wooden floor as she closed the distance between them. She rested a hand on his chest, and he looked down at it.

"You're drunk." He sighed.

Her hand dropped, and she gave him a deadpanned glare. "Well duh. My father's dead. I've basically been on a steady diet of bourbon and cigarettes for the last two months." She brushed passed him and refilled her drink, as he turned to look her over.

She looked completely out of place here; her black pencil skirt, her cream charmeuse blouse and cropped blazer. She screamed big city, and it upset him. There was a time she used to walk the floors of this place barefoot in summer dresses, or wearing his t-shirt, his hat and nothing else. He didn't see that woman standing in front of him. "I'm sorry about your dad."

"Yeah, you and everyone else." She mumbled begrudgingly, taking a long pull on her drink.

Damon took a step towards her. "Jamie hasn't been handling it very well."

She snapped her head to him. "You know what, fuck Jamie, okay. He barely knew him. I was his only child for eighteen years before he came along and now suddenly, he's my father's son? I don't give a fuck how he feels; I didn't come back here for him."

Hope rose in him. "Then why did you come back?"

She let out a long, exasperated sigh. "Because I made a promise. As much as he disappointed me over the years, I hate to let him down…even in death. He made me promise to make sure that this place stayed in the family; that it didn't get pillaged for parts like some used car. I honestly don't care what happens to it…but I can never say no to him." Bonnie admitted resentfully.

"You had no problem breaking your promise to me though, did you?" he grumbled with a sneer.

She laughed cruelly. "You're not still hung up on that, are you? A promise from a young girl that had no idea what she was getting into? Please." Canting her head, she eyed him curiously. "You aren't still in love with me, are you?" She sipped her bourbon looking at him over her glass as he glanced away, his jaw tense with barely contained rage. She walked back to him, one leg crossing in front of the other slowly like a cat. "Are you telling me you haven't had any other easily impressionable girls here? No one to fill your bed at night? That I'm the only one that came close to breaking through your tough bad boy exterior?" She reached up to touch his stubble covered cheek, but his hand grabbed hers before it made contact.

His blue eyes hardened, pinned on her dangerously. "What happened to you, Bonnie?"

Wrenching her hand out of his grasp, Bonnie's lips curled in a dry smirk. "Wouldn't you like to know." She finished her drink, planting the glass noisily on the coffee table. "I had a long flight…I'm going to take a bath. Goodnight…" She brushed passed him, grabbing her suitcase and trailed it behind her as she headed for the bathroom, grabbing the bottle of bourbon on her way, and leaving Damon stunned staring blankly at a spot of the floor.

She came in and ran through here like a hurricane; flipping over everything, blowing out windows and ruining everything precious in her wake. She waltzed in here like she owned it…which in essence, she did; and he was powerless to stop her, because having her back in this house, even this version of her, was better than it being empty.

…

Bonnie lay in the bath, the bottle dangling from her finger tips, and up to her neck in the lavender infused water. Silently, she let the tears mar her cheeks, and fall in to mix with the soapy liquid. She stayed in there well after the water got cold, staring listlessly at the tiled wall, drinking herself into a state of numbness.

…

Damon woke at 4am; well before the sun came up, ready to start his day on the ranch. He almost thought Bonnie coming back was a weird dream, but when he walked into the bathroom, he knew it wasn't. She was still in the bathtub, naked and passed out in the cold water, the bottle tipped on the ground, and what was left of it – which wasn't much, had spilled on the tiles. With a resigned sigh, he grabbed a towel, and leaned over the tub, hoisting her trembling body into his arms, and tried not to feel the spark of hope in his chest when she curled into him with a pained moan.

He took her into his room, laying her gently on the bed, wrapping her in the towel, and tucking her into the heavy duvet. Her brows furrowed as she groaned drunkenly, burrowing into the warm covers. He pinched the bridge of his nose, wondering what the hell he was supposed to do. Looking down at her now, he could see the glimmer of the woman he fell in love with. There were many mornings he'd left her just like this, naked and sleeping in their bed. Sometimes she'd reach out and grab him, pulling her down for one more kiss, other times she'd convince him to stay and make love to her until the sun came up. But today…he knew if he woke her, he'd be met with more of the cold barbs she'd slashed him with last night. And despite himself, he still leaned down to kiss her forehead before he left.

A couple hours later, after he got the wranglers set up on the tasks for the day, he made his way up to the main house. Usually, this place would be lively; Rudy and Jamie would be starting the day, dealing with the politics of running the ranch, purchasing livestock and training horses, but Jamie had been hiding out here, barely able to handle the day to day, let alone shower and shave. Damon found himself taking over the leadership duties around here, keeping the business running, but he needed Jamie to step up and do his part.

Damon arrived on this ranch at the age of thirteen; not a penny to his name, no family, and no roof over his head. Rudy took him in, gave him a job and a place to live and basically taught him everything he needed to know about life and how to be a man. He was here when Bonnie's mother died of cancer, he was here when the realty companies tried to buy out the land, he was here through all the ups and down, people coming and going. He had a hand in shaping this place into what it was today. And the day Jamie showed up, out of the blue is when things started to change.

It was revealed that Rudy had an affair when Bonnie was three, and when his mother told him who his father was, a fifteen-year-old Jamie sought him out and Rudy welcomed him with open arms. It nearly destroyed Bonnie's relationship with her father; a man she held with the highest regard. She put him up on a pedestal, in her eyes he could do no wrong, and slowly that image of him became tarnished. However, she was a daddy's girl through and through…and no matter what, she would always aim to please him. And the closer her dad got to her half-brother, the harder she tried to seek his approval.

Jamie was a good kid; he meant well, and he was educated, but he lacked drive and motivation. The Bennett Ranch was the biggest piece of land in Montana and every day you had to fight to keep people from taking it. He didn't have the heart or the strength to be in this business; it was ruthless and tiresome and he was easily manipulated by those that meant to break down this legacy that took hundreds of years to build.

Damon walked in the front door, his boots thumping on the floor as he made his way into the living room. He found Jamie with his head in his hands, paperwork strewn over the coffee table. "Jamie…" he started trying to hide his frustration.

"I don't how to do this, Damon." He said in a shaky voice.

"Well you have to figure it out." He responded shortly. "And it starts by getting out of this house, and doing your fucking job." He snapped. Lately Damon felt like he was doing a lot of hand holding, and at first, he let it slide on the account of him losing his father, but it was time for him to put on his big boy pants and keep this place from going under.

"I don't know how to run a ranch!" he glanced up at him miserably. "My dad took care of all the hard stuff. I just did what he told me. What I need-"

"What you need is someone with a set of balls to keep this ranch from being driven into the ground." Bonnie's heels clicked on the floor as she entered the room in a black dress, with a gold belt chain sinched around her waist. She looked completely composed, as if she didn't spend hours hammered in a cold bath. She fixed her half-brother with a plastic grin. "Good thing I'm here."

Jamie looked relieved, leaping to his feet and rushing to her. "Bonnie, thank God."

He went to hug her, she held up a hand, her mouth turning down in a disgusted sneer. "Don't." She moved around him, and gathered the paperwork on the table. "Get your shit, we're going into the office. If you're going to be here, you need to understand how business works in this town." She headed for the door without so much as a glance in Damon's direction, and Jamie rushed after her.

…

It was a long day. Damon wanted a beer and a hot meal and he was content to fall into a deep sleep until he had to do it all over again. When he reached his cabin, he was mildly surprised to see Bonnie lounging on his porch chair, her feet bare and propped up on the ottoman; drink in one hand and cigarette in the other. "Why aren't you staying in the main house?" he grumbled, climbing the steps. She was a distraction he wasn't sure he could handle right now.

"I can't live with Jamie; that's like putting a snake in a mouse cage. I'll kill him." She stated casually taking a deep drag. "Plus…this is my home."

"No this was your home, and then you left it. And me." Damon looked down at her, trying to figure her out. "Still waiting for an answer as to why."

"Does it even matter now? It was a whole other life, Damon. That girl you knew…she doesn't even exist anymore." The dry and bitter tone of her voice sounded so foreign to him. "So if you're looking for her, you're wasting your time."

He nodded. "So that's it then? That's all I get?"

She shrugged. "It's all I got."

"Fine." He ripped open the door, but turned to glare down at her. "You can sleep in the spare room. But let's get one thing clear…if you're going to stay here, you make yourself useful. This isn't New York and the rules here haven't changed since you left; everyone pulls their own weight. And no more falling asleep in the tub." He grumbled letting the door slam behind him.

She smiled to herself, sipping her drink as she stared out at the horizon. "Yes sir."

.

21 Years Ago:

Bonnie approached the arena where her dad was breaking in a new horse, and rested her arms on the wooden fence next to her mother. They would spend hours watching the horses running around while the cowboys trained them.

"Has he broken him yet?" Bonnie asked watching her dad in rapture, who was somehow managing to hold onto the bucking horse.

Abby smiled down at her daughter. "Almost…if anyone can do it, it's your dad. The stallion bucked Uncle Martin off before he could even sit in the saddle." They both chuckled.

Suddenly, someone walking out a horse from the stables caught her eyes, and she couldn't look away. "Mom…who's that?"

Abby followed her gaze then looked back at Bonnie with a knowing smile. "His name is Damon…dad said the sheriff picked him up on the side of the road hitchhiking out of town." She leaned down with a playfully hushed tone. "Keep your eyes in your head Bon…don't be obvious."

"He's cute." She blushed.

Abby nodded. "Mhm. He'll be a heartbreaker one day." She came around her daughter, resting her hands on her shoulders, and kissing the top of her head. "Don't let dad catch you staring at him like that, or he'll lock you away in an ivory tower until you're forty."

Bonnie rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah." Abby walked off back to the main house, and when Bonnie looked back over at Damon, he was smiling back at her, tipping his hat to her and making her duck her head shyly.

.

When Bonnie got back inside, she was surprised to see Damon showered, changed and moving around the kitchen making dinner. She must have been out there longer than she thought. Their eyes clashed for a tense moment before she walked over, sliding into the stool at the counter top.

"You hungry?" he asked, flipping the hand towel over his shoulder.

With a nod in response, Bonnie busied herself by twirling her empty glass as the silence stretched on. "Thank you…" she started uncomfortably. "For this morning. You didn't have to."

He kept his eyes focused on stirring the sauce. "I couldn't leave you like that."

"You always were a gentleman." She commented fondly.

His eyes finally raised to meet hers. "Only to you."

And for the first time since she'd been here, Bonnie had a genuine smile for him and it made him smile back. "I know. You staying out of trouble around here? I remember a time when you were getting into fights every other day."

Damon chuckled, his blue eyes clashing with hers. "Nobody would dare now."

They had dinner in a comfortable silence; the only sounds were their forks hitting the plate. There was so much he wanted to ask her, but he was sure he wouldn't get the answers he wanted. But as he watched her eat, her body swaying slightly; a little dance she did when she ate something she loved. He couldn't help the snort of laughter from slipping out.

"What?" She stopped mid chew.

He wiped his napkin over his mouth, hiding the smirk. "Nothing, it's just…sitting across from you, at the dinner table…it's wild, that's all."

She took a sip of her wine. "Well, don't get too use to it. I'm not here for long. I'm just here to keep the wolves away. I have my own life to go back to." She kept her eyes on her plate.

Damon let the moment stretch between them, spinning his glass on the table as he hesitated on his next question. "How did it go today?"

Bonnie scoffed. "Not good. But I'll get him there…eventually."

"Maybe you'll be here longer than you think." He offered hopefully.

"I hope not…I hate it here." She grumbled shoving another forkful of pasta in her mouth.

That comment made Damon wince. "You didn't always."

Swallowing her food, Bonnie placed her fork down and stared him right in the eyes. "I meant what I said, Damon. I am not the same person I was. This may be your home…but to me, this ranch just represents a bunch of things I've lost and can never get back. The second Jamie grows a spine and gets things under control here, I'm on the first flight back to New York."

"You know, Jamie and I butt heads sometimes…his work ethic isn't really there, but you really don't like him, do you?" He observed curiously, leaning back in his seat. He saw her tense and take in a calming breath. "No, you hate him. Why?" she huffed loudly, rolling her eyes skyward. "He's your brother, Bon…"

She glared at him sharply. "No. He may be blood, but he's not my family. And that's the last time we ever talk about it…okay?" She tossed her napkin in her plate and stood, making her chair scrap loudly on the floor. "Thanks for dinner." She mumbled, walking off to her room.

Damon ran his hands over his face as he leaned back in the chair with a groan. He honestly didn't know how to dodge the mines Bonnie had set all around her. It seemed everything he said set her off. He was starting to realize, she was right…she was not the same Bonnie Bennett he knew.

.

25 Years Ago:

Bonnie stood beside her horse her face crumbled with the force of her tears as she stared at the injured calf in the field. The sound hers and her dad's horses managed to scare off the wolf that had attacked it, but the damage was already done. The shrieking of the poor animal only made her cry harder. Her dad galloped up, hopping off his horse in a fluid motion, and a ten-year-old Bonnie buried her face in his stomach.

"Can you save it?" Her muffled voice cried. She looked up at him desperately. "Please tell me you can save it, Daddy."

He looked down at her sorrowfully. "I'm sorry sweetheart. There's nothing I can do but put it out of its misery." Bonnie sobbed painfully. "Hey…this happens in life, Bonnie. We live, we struggle, we fight…and we die. Now you can sit here, and cry all you want but it doesn't change the outcome of things. You have to be strong, baby. You have to be tough. If someone knocks you down, you get up and you hit them back stronger. Death is hard, and painful, but you face it head on…look it straight in the eye, and never flinch." Rudy took out his revolver, and cocked back the hammer, pointing it at the dying calf. Then, focusing on his daughter, he tipped her chin up and made sure she kept her eyes on him. And when he pulled the trigger, her eyes barely blinked, her lip wobbling as she tried hard not to cry or react. "Go on home and get washed up okay." He said gently, wiping the stray tear from her cheek.

She nodded, and mounted her horse, taking off in the direction of the house.

.

Bonnie stared at the ceiling as she silently let the tears stream down her face onto the pillows. The lesson took her a while to learn, but it really started to make sense after her mother died. It was easily the hardest thing she'd had to go through up until that point, and she realized that if she was going to get through it, she had to toughen up.

And with every event she went through that challenged her strength, Bonnie added another coat to her shell, until she was surrounded by an impenetrable shield. And while it made her strong and brave it also made her cold and bitter, and that worked for her. She had a thriving career, and a great rapport with the bartender at the high-end bar she spent most nights. There was no need for friends or relationships; she took what she wanted when she wanted it. But for a moment she faltered…seeing Damon, being in this house, it reminded her of this girl who died a long time ago and, in that moment, she wanted to be her again.

…

The next few days went by without further issues. Damon gave Bonnie her space by avoiding the touchy questions, and the two of them had been living somewhat civilly. But a moment of panic struck him when he walked past her room to see her bed made and empty, however, he spotted her clothes laid out on the chair and her suitcase in the corner.

It wasn't even 5 in the morning yet…where could she be?

Damon reluctantly left the house, and headed down to the ranch to begin his day. A grin pulled on his face when he saw her; a long floral print dress, blowing gently in the breeze, her back bare and exposed to him and black cowboy boots. Her arms rested on the wooden barrier of the fencing looking over the pastures, and her hair was tossed up in a messy ponytail. It was the most 'Bonnie' he'd seen her since she got here.

He walked up, standing beside her, leaning his back against the fence. "Mornin'…" he tipped his hat, and she smiled even though her eyes never left the rising sun. "What has you up so early?"

"I haven't seen a sunrise like this in fifteen years. There are too many skyscrapers in the city; life moves so fast there it's hard to find the time to appreciate something this beautiful." She explained softly.

Damon looked at her adoringly. "I can always find the time." The look she gave him made him feel like he was traveling back in time; tilting her head and resting her cheek on her arms, looking up at him with half lidded, mossy green eyes.

"You kept all my things…" Bonnie commented, her eyes dipping down to her clothes.

"I guess I always thought you'd come back…and if you did, maybe you'd want something familiar." He swallowed the lump in his throat, and broke her intense gaze, before he got lost in it. Bonnie had a way of hypnotizing him.

"Thank you."

He gave her a nod. "I got to get to work." He was reluctant to break up this rare moment, but he forced himself to push off the fence.

"Hey!" She called out before he got too far. "How late can you be?"

…

Their horses chased each other through the pastures, and Bonnie's laughter echoed off the mountains surrounding the valley. He forgot how good of a rider she was; despite her lack of practice, she was giving him a run for his money. They slowed as they approached the stables, an exhilarated sigh heaving from her chest.

"I needed that." She allowed Damon to help her off her horse, more out of force of habit then actually needing the help.

He chuckled. "It looked like it." Together, they led their horses into the stables. "I haven't seen you that happy since…" She glanced at him, unbridling her horse. "Never mind." Damon pulled the saddle off and hung it up, while she closed the gate.

As they walked back out, Bonnie turned to him. "You can say it. I promise, I won't rip your head off." She joked lightly.

He let out a deep breath. "Since that night by the river." It was probably the closest they had ever been. They lay in the grass looking up at the stars while they made plans for their futures; what their wedding would look like, how many kids they'd have…one day having this ranch for themselves.

Bonnie blinked, as if just saying it brought the whole night back to life. "I haven't thought about that night in ages…"

He watched her. "I think about that night all the time."

The charged moment between them was broken, when the wranglers poured out from the bunkhouse and someone called out to Damon. "Hey, was wondering where you ran off to." The man behind the voice started walking over, and when he saw Bonnie, his smile widened. "Now I know. Look who the cat dragged in."

"Hey, buddy, get the guys started on herding the cattle from pasture 18. I'll catch up." Damon clapped him on the shoulder. Once they were alone again, he turned back to Bonnie only to see the hardened scowl return. "What's wrong?"

"What the hell is he doing here?" She crossed her arms defensively.

Damon reeled back in surprise. "Who Kol? He works here."

"Not anymore, he doesn't."

"What? Why?"

She pinned him with a narrowed, no-nonsense glare. "Because I said so."

He scoffed. "Bonnie he's the best wrangler I got; I'm not just going to send him packing-"

"Damn it, Damon! Just do it!" She yelled, getting the attention of a few others. "Please…" She added in a softer tone.

Stepping closer to her, he rested his hands on her shoulders in concern. "What's going on?"

Avoiding his gaze, she swallowed thickly. "Nothing, just please do this for me."

"Okay, okay…" He raised his hands, stepping away, studying her change in demeanor curiously, before walking after Kol.

"Damon…" Bonnie called out, and she waited for him to turn around. "Does Jamie know?"

"Does Jamie know what?"

"That he works here…does he know?" Her heart thumped in her chest as she waited for his answer.

Damon shrugged. "Yeah. He hired him."

He walked off, and Bonnie felt the blood boil in her veins. Her hands were trembling with anger and as she slowly made her way up to the main house, the ice trickled through her bloodstream, making everything cold.

…

AN: Oh my…what's going to happen? There will be a part 2 lol I'm not that evil! The reason behind Bonnie's behavior will be revealed so don't worry, I just wanted to break this up and give you something to look forward to. I'm trying to work on 'Bloodstream' simultaneously so we'll see which one gets up first. Please let me know your thoughts on this one! It's a bit different; more of a backstory and there will be lots of flashbacks. Sidebar…I don't have anything against Jamie on the show, it just works with my story lol - Vanessa