AN: Hey Fam! First of all, I just want to thank everyone for your kind words. I appreciate all your support during this time, and your patience while I get back in my groove. It does not go unnoticed. Love you all! – Vanessa

…

Looking Too Closely – Part II

Tonight, all Damon wanted was to be alone, however, the world had different plans for him. Just as he was dropping down into the couch, there was a loud knock on his door. "Drinking alone tonight, Ric!" he called out.

"It's Bonnie." He heard from the other side of the door, and the drink paused on the way to his lips.

He rose and walked over slowly, taking a peek at her through the peephole. She looked stressed; her hair mussed like she'd been running her hands through it and she was in an old graphic t-shirt and blue jeans. Even without a stitch of make up on, she looked beautiful. He unlocked the door, and opened it slowly, doing his best to keep his face neutral. "Hi."

"Hi…" she offered him a hesitant smile. "Um, is Enzo here?"

"Nope. Haven't seen him all day." Damon leaned on the door frame, eying her curiously. "Why?"

She huffed, tunneling a hand through her hair. "We got in a fight…again. He took off hours ago and now I don't know where he is." She eyed his drink. "Can I have one of those?"

After a silent pause, Damon opened the door and stepped aside for her to enter, and moved to the kitchen to grab a tumbler and some ice cubes. His eyes darted up when she closed the door behind her, and followed him into the kitchen. Her hands were shoved in the back pockets of her jeans, as she took a moment to look around. She'd never been here without Enzo. "Since when do you drink bourbon?" He poured her glass, and slid it over to her.

She scoffed a laugh, looking into it. "I don't…but isn't that what people do when they face a roadblock in life? Take up an unhealthy drinking habit to cope with the problems they refuse to face?" she asked rhetorically glancing up at him.

"It's what I do." He joked with a hint of cynicism as he clinked glasses with hers. "Cheers." He took a sip and he watched her as she followed suit, wincing and shuddering at the strong burn as it went down. He let out a genuine chuckle; his lips cracking in a toothy grin. "You get use to it."

"Can I ask you something? And be honest." The seriousness in her tone had him anxious.

But he forced a casual shrug. "Sure."

"Do you think Enzo and I are making a mistake?" He visibly retreated, taking a step back and breaking their eye contact. "Come on, Damon, I need you to tell me the truth. You've known us longer than anyone; you've been there for everything, all our ups and downs...tell me." She encouraged.

He shook his head. "You don't want to hear what I have to say."

"I might not want to hear it, but maybe I need to. If there's anyone I can count on to give me the harsh truth, it's you. Damon, please. Are we making a mistake getting married?" She twisted the ring on her finger subconsciously, looking at him with wide and open eyes.

This was probably the most real conversation he'd ever had with her, and of course he was bias on his opinion, but if she wanted to truth, he'd give it to her. "Yes. I think that you both are so afraid of what life would be like without each other that you stay together even though you fight and break up whenever something goes wrong. Tell me something…" He took a slow step closer. "Have you ever kissed another man?"

She swallowed and answered in a quiet voice. "No."

His eyes pinned on her. "Have you ever slept with another man?"

"Damon…" she chastised, in a scandalized tone.

"Have you? I mean I know for a fact that Enzo is as vanilla as they come in the sex department; he and I are very different in that way. He probably makes it a sweet and loving experience every time, huh…" Bonnie shifted uncomfortably but didn't look away. He huffed a laugh, knowing he was right. "How do you know that's what you like, Bonnie…if you've never had it any other way?"

His voice was low and tantalizing, and had Bonnie's heart racing. He was right. Sure, sex with Enzo was nice, albeit predictable, but it always left her wanting more; like there was a deeper part of her that yearned to be unleashed. For some reason, the fact that Damon was right sent her into defensive mode. "So what, just because I haven't slept around and tested the waters I'm making a mistake in marrying the man I've been with forever? I love Enzo." Bonnie retorted strongly.

He took another challenging step towards her. "I'm sure you do. But is it because you've been with him forever and never known anything else or because you truly want to spend the rest of your life with him? Think about it, Bonnie. What do you to really have in common? Are you even happy? Are you in love with him, or are you just in love with the idea of him?" He spouted off in rapid succession in a passionate exclamation.

Bonnie eyes filled with tears and her mouth parted as she tried to think of the words to respond. Instead, she guzzled down the rest of her bourbon, and b-lined for the balcony, slamming it behind her. Damon exhaled heavily through his nose, finishing his drink and wondering to himself if he took it too far. He never meant to upset her, but he had been holding this in for so long, he couldn't hold back. He stormed towards the balcony and followed her out. "You asked for the truth."

She nodded, wiping the tears from her face. "I know. I'm just scared to admit that you might be right." She whispered looking out into the dark skyline. He leaned on the railing beside her, watching the moonlight reflect off her tears-stained cheeks and lashes; he wanted to catch the one that trailed down with the pad of his thumb, but resisted the urge. "We fight all the time, Damon." She admitted, glancing at him. "We are good at playing the happy couple around everyone else, but lately the fights have been getting worse. Sometimes I feel like we pick fights with each other on purpose, just to feel something." Bonnie continued to open up to him, much to his surprise, but he didn't dare stop her. She held his intense stare for a long moment, the wind wisping her hair around her face. "Have you ever been in love?"

She asked him with such innocence and curiosity, that despite his fear of where this was going, he answered her honestly. "Yes…I have." He nodded with a strained rasp.

Bonnie turned to him eagerly. "How did you know? I mean, how did you know you were in love, and not just with the idea of it?"

This was embarking on dangerous territory, but she seemed so desperate for his answer he couldn't deny her. "Because despite how badly I wanted her, I did what was best for her, even if it killed me. Because I could date a hundred of the prettiest girls in Virginia, but not one of them would be as beautiful to me as she was." As you are. He added in his head. His lips quirked in an ironic and weak smile, which she returned.

"Where is she now?"

Standing on my balcony. "I don't know…probably living her life with a man far more stable than me." He teased at his own expense, hoping to ease the tension and deflect from the topic.

In a surprising display of comfort, Bonnie covered his hand with hers. "I think you're a good man, Damon. I think you've been hurt and that's why you act the way you do. It's a defense mechanism."

"Well, Dr. Bennett…" he started playfully. "It seems like psych 101 is paying off." Damon looked down at their hands, and when he looked back up there was a spark of something in her eyes, but she quickly pulled her hand away and averted her gaze back to the skyline.

"Can we keep this between us? There's a lot I have to think about, and I don't want Enzo to freak out thinking I'm getting cold feet or something." She rushed out tucking her hair behind her ears as the wind picked up.

Damon blinked. "So, you're still going through with it?"

She hugged her arms around herself. "I don't know…I just-I need to think things through and-"

"Yeah, no…do what you got to do, Bon." He responded tautly, the wall coming back up as he put some distance between them. "It's like it never happened." He pulled open the sliding door and walked in without another word.

"Damon…" she sighed tiredly, following him back in. "That's not what I meant."

He rounded on her. "Then what did you mean? Why ask for my opinion? Why did you even come here, Bonnie?" He demanded in frustration. "Did you come here looking for Enzo so you two could kiss and make up, or did you come here for the answers you knew only I could give you? What do you want from me, Bonnie!"

She balked at him in shock. "Why are getting mad at me right now?"

"Because for once I want you to make a decision on something without thinking, without analyzing it to death! For years I watched you make choices based on what everyone else wanted from you; what your parents wanted, what your friends wanted, what Enzo wanted. You do things because you think you should, not because it's what you truly want and I'm fucking tired of sitting back and watching you disappoint yourself."

Bonnie marched right up to him, and slapped him hard across the face. "Go to hell." She seethed, pushing passed him and out the front door, letting it slam behind her.

Damon embraced the sting on his cheek, knowing he earned it for laying into her like that. But it also brought a smile to his face, because he saw a fire in her that he had thought had burnt out a long time ago.

…

Another month had gone by, and everything was business as usual. Enzo came back and apologized for their fight, begged her to forgive him, and of course she did without hesitation. And true to his word, Damon acted like the talk they had at his apartment never happened, and so did she.

He sat at the bar of the club Alaric had dragged him to, while his friend hit on a pretty blonde. He hated places like this, but he was the wingman, and if there was booze then he'd be there.

"Well look who it is." He heard the amused voice walking up from behind, before she hopped on the stool beside him. "Damon Salvatore sitting at a bar. Shocker." She giggled breathlessly, probably flushed from alcohol and dancing with her friends.

Damon turned with a forced smile. "Elena Gilbert."

"I thought you hated places like this." she commented waving the bartender over for a water.

He laughed. "I do. I'm here with Ric." He nodded over to his friend who was at the other end of the bar still chatting with the blonde. "I assume you're here with the usual suspects." He risked a glance around for Caroline, and Bonnie.

"Mhm! You'd assume correct." she nodded. "So how have you been, Damon?"

He forced another smile. "I'm great, Elena." She raised a sceptical brow. "If you want an honest answer, I'm going to need a few more of these." He rattled the ice in his empty glass.

With a resolved slap of her palm on the counter she called out to the bartender for a round for both of them. Over the next twenty minutes the two of them got caught up in polite chit chat, catching up after three years a part, and a round of shots followed the drinks.

"No, no! It was the night of Tyler Lockwood's party!" she insisted with a bubble of laughter. "I was there with Matt and you swooped in and stole me away. A blue-eyed devil in John Varvatos." She sipped her drink.

"You remember that?" He laughed. It was the night he and Elena started dating; even though she showed up with someone else, he caught her making eyes at him the whole night, and Damon wasn't one to miss an opportunity. It was just supposed to be a one-night stand, but he had tried to convince himself it could be more.

"How could I forget…it was the first time you really noticed me. I was crazy about you." She explained cavalierly, without shame. It was no secret that Elena had wanted Damon long before that night. Damon smiled weakly, and pulled his eyes away, but when he did, they somehow found Bonnie through a break in the crowd, dancing in a cute little black dress that showed off her toned thighs. He couldn't look away. Elena's eyes followed his, and she nodded knowingly biting on her lip. "But you loved someone else…" Damon snapped back to her, suddenly panicked that she caught him. "It was always Bonnie…wasn't it?"

He sighed guiltily. "Elena…"

"It's okay. You can admit it, Damon. A part of me always knew." She gave him a reassuring smile. "I think you're doing the right thing; letting them be happy. I'm sure this has got to be hard for you."

He squeezed his eyes shut uncomfortably. "Can we not…talk about this? In fact, let's never bring this up, ever, to anyone. Especially, Bonnie and Enzo." He warned her with a hard glare.

She held up her hands in surrender. "You don't have to tell me twice. I want Bonnie and Enzo to be happy, and don't get me wrong, I want you to be happy too, but as much as you may love her…you'll still end up hurting her." It bothered him immensely that she might be right about that, but he didn't have time to respond as Caroline and Bonnie walked up.

"Hey! I was wondering where you went." Caroline exclaimed to Elena, before noticing Damon. "Oh…we're not backsliding, are we?" she warned pointedly.

Elena laughed, hopping off her seat. "God no! That ship has sailed." She patted Damon's shoulder. "No offense."

He rolled his eyes. "None taken. Hi Caroline…how's my brother doing? Did you let him off his leash tonight or is he waiting in the car? I hope you left the window cracked open." He teased with a smirk as he sipped his drink.

Caroline shot him a narrow glare. "I honestly have no idea how you two are related. It's like you were born on a different planet." With a flip of her hair, she turned back to her friends who had ordered a round of shots. They tossed them back and Caroline clapped her hands together as an upbeat song came on. "Ooh! I love this song!" She headed for the dancefloor and Elena followed, but Bonnie hung back.

"I need a minute. I'll meet you out there." When they disappeared into the crowd, Bonnie occupied the stool Elena vacated and shot him a mildly embarrassed look. "I'm sorry I slapped you."

He wasn't expecting an apology and it showed on his face. "You shouldn't be. I was out of line."

"No, you were right. I came to you because I needed to hear the answer no one else would give me, and then when you did, I couldn't handle it. So…I'm sorry." She smiled and held out her hand. "Truce?"

His lips pulled up in a grin. "Truce." He grabbed her hand and shook it.

A couple more drinks and shots later, they were both feeling the buzz; cheeks flushed, and drunken smiles on their faces as they got caught up in conversation and their usual banter, only this time, she had a different energy about her. As she sipped her drink, she would look at him from under her lashes, and occasionally she would bump shoulders with him when he said something particularly 'Damon', instead of her usual unimpressed glare.

It was maybe an hour later when Elena and Caroline approached them. "Okay, hun, time to go." Caroline helped her off the stool, and Bonnie gave her a look.

"What, why? It's early!"

Elena frowned. "It's almost 2am." Okay, maybe more than an hour. "Come on, we have a big day tomorrow, we need to get you home."

Damon hopped to his feet and glanced around, realizing that Alaric was gone with the blonde, and so were most of the other patrons. "I'll walk you girls out." He was having such a good time with Bonnie he didn't realize how much time had passed.

He waited with them as they hailed a cab, and he held the door open as Elena and Caroline slipped inside. Bonnie stood on the curb, gracing Damon with a happy smile. "I had fun tonight. I'd like to see this Damon more often." She poked his shoulder.

He nodded, turning his eyes skyward as he playfully thought about it. "I'll check his calendar. He's been very busy these days."

Bonnie chuckled holding his gaze for a moment, before turning to the girls in the cab. "You guys go on ahead. I'm going to walk."

"What! Bonnie, it's the middle of the night!" Caroline exclaimed.

She shrugged. "Damon will walk with me…I need the fresh air. It's okay, it's not that far. I'll be fine." Elena gave her a concerned look. "I'll be fine." She said her goodbyes and closed the door to the cab, watching as they pulled away. When she turned back to Damon, he was staring at her curiously.

"Why'd you do that?" he wondered softly.

She shrugged. "Well…if this Damon is so busy, I'll take what I can get." She teased. "Are you hungry?"

He chuckled. "I could eat."

They grabbed a slice of pizza from a small shop on the walk back to her apartment, and Damon tossed their plates and napkins in a trash can beside a bench. Bonnie plopped down eagerly, happy to take the weight off her heels for a moment. They were only a block away from her place, but both of them were reluctant to let the night end. Damon sat down next to her, chuckling to himself. "Why do women torture themselves in heels that high?"

"Because they're sexy, and they make me look taller." She giggled.

"Well maybe some men like short women, maybe that's what's sexy." He teased with a sly smirk.

She glanced at him sharply with a quick comeback. "What men?" Her brows raised challengingly. Damon dropped his gaze, trying not to trap himself. "Men like you…?" The soft tone of her voice wasn't accusatory or snappy, just curious. The alcohol seemed to have lowered her filter and she was bolder than she ever had been with him.

"Yeah…" he nodded. Fuck it. "What I find sexy in a woman isn't the heels or the make up or fancy clothes. I think a woman is sexy when she's not trying to be sexy at all…wearing an old shirt that's seen better days, not a stich of make up and her favorite blue jeans." He held his breath, wondering if he overstepped. It was Bonnie's casual attire.

The look she was giving him was neutral, and gave nothing away. Suddenly, she leaned in and kissed him, her soft lips colliding with his and her tongue tentatively slipping through. He didn't even think for a moment, and acted only on instinct, bringing his hand up to cup her face and deepen the kiss, pulling her closer and relishing in her moan of satisfaction. Then he realized what was happening.

"Bonnie…what are we doing?" He whispered, resting his forehead on hers, but refusing to release her.

"This is me making a decision without analyzing it to death." She hesitantly brushed her lips against his. "I've been wanting to do it all night."

This was bad… "Bonnie…we can't." He whispered sadly, even as his thumb stroked her cheek. "I want to…but we can't."

Blinking, Bonnie pulled away and covered her face in her hands. "Oh my God…that was stupid. Why did I do that?" she asked herself.

"Bon, it's okay…" he assured her.

She shook her head. "No, it's not. Fuck, I'm sorry."

Damon turned her chin so she was looking at him, and he brushed a tear that fell. "This isn't your fault…it's mine." She frowned, confused. "I put all these thoughts in your head that made you question yourself, because I'm selfish. I don't want you to marry Enzo because…" he took a deep breath. "Because I'm in love with you, Bonnie. I always have been."

Her eyes were wide and shocked, as she slowly pulled his hand away from her face. "What…?"

"I tried not to…but the heart wants what it wants." He explained helplessly. She staggered to her feet, tunneling her hands in her hair as she paced the ground. "Bon…"

"Oh my God…Oh my God." She muttered as it all started to make sense, and the two separate moments on his balcony came to mind.

"Elena knew it…I tried, but there was this other girl. I was crazy about her…couldn't get her out of my head, but she was…unattainable."

"Because despite how badly I wanted her, I did what was best for her, even if it killed me. Because I could date a hundred of the prettiest girls in Virginia, but not one of them would be as beautiful to me as she was."

Damon stood, reaching out for her. "Bonnie, I'm sorry…"

She rounded of him in disbelief. "No…don't. I can't…I can't do this." She backed away down the sidewalk, before turning around to face him again. "Not a word of this to Enzo, do you hear me? Promise me, Damon!"

He knew that it was for his benefit more than hers. If Enzo knew of Damon's feelings for her, he'd lose his best friend. He nodded on a painful swallow. "I promise." He rasped.

She nodded, before turning, and speedily walked the rest of the way to her apartment. He watched her enter the building, before dropping back into the bench, and burying his head in his hands. He didn't know what reaction he was expecting when he told her, but he had hoped it would have gone better than that.

She kissed him because she was drunk and got caught up in the moment, but it didn't mean she felt the same way. Now, Damon had to live with the consequences that resulted from this…whatever they may be.

…

AN: Hi everyone! Hope you enjoyed this chapter! We'll be back with a part three for sure and see what happens after that! Thanks for reading! - Vanessa