Every Time I Run Away:

Summary: AH – Dark/Angsty, Mature Content, Uncomfortable Topics – Bonnie and Damon have been friends since they were fifteen, and while they both grew up very differently, it never stopped them from building a strong friendship. Hard times lead to Bonnie running away…but he's never far behind.

Song Inspiration: Long Time – Wild Rivers

…

Four years, how you want to play this?
You're good now, honey, I'm still waiting
And we've come a way from hiding in the rain
Two kids lying in the basement

And every time I run away
You're never far behind
And any time I'm feeling safe
You gotta wrong that right
I gotta get along with life
But you still run my mind
So if you're asking how I've been
I'm gonna have to lie
It's gonna be a long, long time
It's gonna be a long, long time

…

Ten Years Ago:

Pockets of happiness; she took them while she could…and this was one of them. Moments when she could forget who she was and be a kid for once. More often than not, these moments were always with him. Bonnie lolled her head to the side, watching Damon stare up at the black sky from his spot in the grass beside her. She would never know why a guy like him would even bother being friends with her, but she wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth. He was probably the best thing she had going for her…the one part of her day she looked forward to.

It wasn't because he was popular, or cute, although he was both of those things…it was because out of anyone that she went to school with, he was the only one she could be herself around; he was the only one that knew anything about her that meant something…he was the only one that cared to ask.

She watched him as his lips moved quickly, hands animated as he talked so passionately about his plans in life; he loved animals, so it didn't surprise her that he'd want to pursue a career in it. Bonnie admired that he knew what he wanted already. She, on the other hand couldn't picture her life that far ahead. She was knocked out of her thoughts when he lolled his head to fix his eyes on her. How were his eyes so blue?

"What about you? What do you want to do?" He seemed genuinely interested, and it made her avert her eyes back to the sky in embarrassment.

"I don't know." She brushed off, feeling her face flush.

"Oh, come on…" Damon rolled on his side, propping his head on the palm of his hand. "You have to have an idea, at least." He poked her side, laughing when she jerked away. "Tell me, or I'll annoy you until you do."

Bonnie rolled her eyes indulgently. He always had a way of drawing things out of her, and she was helpless against it. "Okay, fine! Geez…" she let out a deep exhale, focusing on the stars in the sky again to avoid the penetrating stare of his blue eyes. "I've always wanted to be a dancer."

A twitch of a smirk pulled the corner of his lips. "Like those music video dancers?"

"No!" Bonnie shot him her infamous glower, shoving him hard enough to topple him to his back, but she couldn't help the giggle that slipped out when he started laughing. "No, like…Broadway or cabaret." She glanced at him sheepishly. "It's stupid."

"It's not stupid." He assured her. "If that's what you want, then you should do it. Bon…" He said in the way he did when he was trying to get through to her. "You should do whatever makes you happy."

She smiled at him gratefully; a silent thank you for not bashing her dreams like others had done before. There was a tense moment, thick with tension as they held each others gaze. Just then, she felt a drop hit her cheek, then another. The clouds had quickly rolled, in and within seconds, it was showering down on them. Damon hopped up first, holding his hands out to help her to her feet, and then used his jacket to cover them as they ran into his house from the backyard.

They rushed down the stairs under the overhanging deck to the basement, which had been converted into a large bedroom suite. This place had become a home away from home lately, and Damon was more than happy to have her here. She'd probably have her own bed here if her Grams wasn't so suspicious of their friendship. 'Young boys don't invest so much time in a girl they don't really like', she'd always say. But Bonnie would just roll her eyes and change the subject, even though in her heart of hearts she hoped it was true. She'd never had a boyfriend, and the idea of it being Damon always gave her butterflies…not that she'd ever admit that.

Damon's parents were nice; like really nice. His mom was an amazing cook; she would bring them cookies, and always smelt like vanilla and lavender. And his dad always asked her how school was going, and would insist on driving her home, because 'it wasn't safe for her alone at night'. She loved it here.

Its not that her home life was all that bad; living with her Grams was a blessing compared to before, but here, she felt like she had a family…a normal family. She was fifteen going on thirty; her mom slipped out in the middle of the night, only leaving a note that said 'I'm sorry'. No other explanation. Not that she didn't know…because she did. Her father was not an easy person to live with, but why her mother didn't take her with her, she'd never understand. Bonnie was grateful that he willing left her in her grandmother's custody, having no interest in raising a child on his own.

"Do you ever miss him?" Damon asked her out of the blue tossing her one of his oversized sweatshirts to warm up.

She quickly slipped it over her head. "Miss who?"

"Your dad."

She huffed a sarcastic laugh. "Nope. Wherever he is, he can stay there."

"What about your mom?"

"Why are you asking me this?" She fired back defensively, crossing her arms over her chest.

He shrugged. "Because you never talk about it."

"There's a reason for that." She glanced around uncomfortably. "Maybe I should go."

Damon let out an exasperated sigh. "Bonnie…" He was use to this…her running away.

"It's late…I don't want Grams to worry." She crossed the room towards the stairs to the main floor, her hand squeezing his arm gently as she passed. A silent gesture that assured him they were okay. She turned back, her hand on the banister. "Oh, did you want this back?" her fingers played with the hem of the sweater.

He smiled, in that boyish and mischievous way that made her stomach flip. "Keep it. Looks better on you anyway."

"I'll see you tomorrow." She smiled back, before darting up the stairs.

…

Eight Months Later:

In her nearly sixteen years, Bonnie had had her fair share of bad days, but this went down as the worst day of her entire life. The tears slipped unchecked down her cheeks as she watched them lower her grandmother's coffin into the ground. It was a small service; all that could be afforded on such a small budget, but the Salvatore's were kind enough to handle all the catering for the wake at their estate.

She flinched when she felt the heavy hand on her shoulder, a tight squeeze shooting a tremor of fear up her spine. What looked like a comforting gesture was anything but; her father's presence alone set her on edge, and it didn't help that he'd been drinking since ten that morning. Ever since her Grams fell ill, he had reappeared back in her life to 'look after her'. If his definition of that was blaming her for her mother leaving him and beating her down in his drunken stupors, then I guess he was doing a great job. She wished it was him they were lowering into the ground. Suddenly, she felt a cool hand slip into hers, long fingers weaving through hers and a thumb caress the back of her hand. Bonnie's eyes squeezed shut, and she felt herself relax before offering Damon a grateful smile. He'd been there through it all. All the hospital visits, all the breakdowns, all the late-night phone calls. Sometimes, Bonnie would sneak in through the window, in the dead of night just for him to wake up and find her cuddled on the couch across from his bed. After a while, he started leaving her a key.

He eyed her warily, seeing her reaction to her father. He knew what was going on, but when he questioned her, she denied it vehemently. She always kept a brave face, covered the bruises, and forced a smile that never reached her eyes, but now…now she was going to be all alone with him.

…

Present Day:

She didn't know how long she had been staring at the door, the little pink slip taped to it mocked her. FINAL NOTICE BEFORE EVICTION printed boldly across it. Just another mess to add to the growing pile. With a heavy sigh, Bonnie hung her head back willing back the tears. Be strong. She told herself, the words oddly sounding like her grandmother's voice. She ripped the notice off and entered her small apartment, dropping her bag carelessly, and toeing off her shoes before crossing the short path to her bed, plopping down and crossing her legs in the center with a shaky exhale.

It didn't surprise her anymore when things went wrong, it was almost expected at this point. So, she took it in stride, packed her bags and moved the to next place. She'd been doing it for the last eleven years. Bonnie grabbed the sweater resting on her pillow, and slipped it over her head, before laying back, playing with the frayed hem of the sleeves. She never did give it back, and over the years it became a sort of security blanket for her – the one thing that grounded her to her past self. Bonnie thought of Damon often. Where was he? What was he doing? Did he think about her too? The last time they saw each other, wasn't really on the best of terms.

…

Eleven Years Ago:

"Can you just slow down, Bon…talk to me." He watched her rush back and forth in her room, frantically grabbing her clothes and shoving them into a duffel bag. She had called him over urgently asking for help, and he was there under ten minutes, no questions asked.

"I can't do this anymore, Damon! I can't live like this. I'm leaving." She didn't have long before her father came home, and she wanted to be long gone before he did. For weeks she'd been planning this, and after a particularly brutal fight, Bonnie decided enough was enough.

He stopped her by gently grabbing her arm, releasing her when she flinched, and raise his hands in surrender. "You have to go to the police. I know what he's doing to you, Bon." She shot him a sideways look, a warning not to go there. "And you can deny it all you want, but I'm not stupid. You're covered in bruises!"

She snapped her head up. "Go to the police for what? So they can question him for a few hours only to have him come home mad as hell? No thanks. I'm seventeen; even if they revoke custody I'd get put into a foster home until I'm of age and that can't be any better than what already going through. I just want to be free, and I can't do that living in this house." Bonnie went back to packing her bag, and zipping it up. Everything of importance to her shoved in one duffel.

He straightened his stance. "You can live with me. You know my mom would take you in, no hesitation."

She scoffed. "Take me in? As much as I love your parents, I could never ask you to do that. I'm not a charity case, I can take care of myself. So will you please help me? All I need is a ride to the train station." She pleaded.

He ignored her, stalling while he thought of ways to keep her from running off…again. "What about NYU? We were going to go together."

"I didn't get in." She threw her arms in the air with a shrug. "I lied…I'm sorry. You were so excited and you had all these plans and I didn't want to let you down so I lied." She sighed, walking over to him with a sympathetic look. "I have to go, Damon. If I don't…I'll die here." She didn't mean literally, although the thought had crossed her mind that, that was what her mother had feared. She meant her spirit, and she knew he saw it slowly leaving her over time.

Determination hardened in his eyes. "Then I'm coming with you."

"Damon…" she admonished.

"You're my best friend, Bonnie. I'm not just going to let you run off into the world by yourself! You could get hurt!" She rolled her eyes and turned away, but he grabbed her hand gently pulling her back. "Just give me one week, okay? One week to get everything in order and we can get out of here. Go to New York, get a loft, live off saltine crackers and peanut butter until we get on our feet." He tried to joke to ease her worry, and was pleased when she cracked a smile. He tenderly brushed a curl from her face, tucking it behind her ear as he'd done many times before.

Bonnie knew that he would too, because he would have probably given her his kidney if she asked for it. But she could never let him. "Okay. One week." She lied with a forced smile, feeling guilty for the relief that fell off his shoulders.

"Great." He pulled her into a tight hug, and she sucked back the tears that threatened to fall. "We'll get through this together. Just like we always do."

Bonnie left that day, leaving a letter on his doorstep before catching a cab to the train station.

…

Present Day:

Bonnie let her hips sway to the music as she danced on stage, catching the eyes of strangers as they devoured her from their seats. She smirked, as she spun around the pole, glancing over her shoulder and winking at the man in the front row, who had spent the last few hours covering the stage in bills every time she came out. He visibly shifted in his seat.

It wasn't her dream job, but it paid the bills, and most of all…she could be whoever she wanted. She didn't have to be Bonnie Bennett - runaway, living paycheck to paycheck, she could be anyone. And tonight, she was Ruby – fiery redhead, sassy, confident, not to be fucked with. She was grateful her boss allowed her to pick up this double shift tonight, because the guy in the front row was about to be paying her rent.

When her set was done, Bonnie collected her earnings and disappeared into the back room to change for the rest of the night. Floor work. It was probably her least favorite part of the job. The men were grabby, the other girls were caddy and the private rooms were…undesirable. Dressed in a skimpy gold studded bustier and matching thong Bonnie worked the room, visiting tables, and giving a lap dance. On her break she walked towards the bar, desperate for a drink, when someone called her name.

"Bonnie?" She ignored it. It wasn't uncommon for a patron to find out her real name and try to get to know her off shift.

He touched her shoulder, and Bonnie glanced back at him quickly before sipping her drink. "Sorry honey…you can look all you want, but no touching, unless you're paying. Those are the rules." She pointed to a sign of the wall.

"It's Damon." Her back went rigid, and she took a moment to collect herself, downing the rest of her drink before turning round to face him. He seemed to be shocked, mouth ajar as he looked her over. He respectfully kept his eyes above neck level. "It's been a long time. It's good to see you."

She forced a sardonic smile. "Yeah, I'm sure the other guys here will agree. Sorry…office humor." She added dryly, swallowing down her nervousness of standing nearly naked in front of her once best friend, and pushed Ruby to the surface. "What are you doing here?"

He glanced back at his friends. "Uh, bachelor party. Not mine." He was quick to clarify. "I saw you walk by and I had to be sure it was you…" he left it hanging there, staring at her in a way that made her uncomfortable. She was used to the gawking of men…this was different somehow. He wasn't looking at her, he was looking into her…reading her.

"Well…what can I do for you? Does your friend want a dance or something?" She slipped back into work mode, more as a defensive mechanism than anything. What else was she supposed to say? What was there to say after the way they left things?

He frowned with a shake of his head. "No…no that's not why I came over, I…I just thought we could talk, somewhere private."

"I'm working. Look, it was good seeing you Damon, but I have to go before my boss sees. He docks us for downtime." She hated being so cold to him. He deserved better than that, but the shame was nearly unbearable, and her cleverly placed mask seemed to slip at the sight of him. Bonnie waltzed passed him working the room again and distracting herself from his stare. She could feel him watching her, and it was throwing her off her game, something she was sure she'd hear about later. She breathed a sigh of relief when she watched his group leave an hour before closing.

When her shift was finally over, Bonnie stuffed her wig and costume in her back, and changed into a baggy hoody and yoga pants, cleaning her face of the heavy make up before saying goodbye to the other girls and heading out. As she walked out the front door, she tunneled her fingers through her curly locks, shaking them out after being tucked away all night. She stopped suddenly when she saw Damon stand from his spot on the curb, shoving his hands in his pocket.

"I thought you left." She stated, wrapping her arms around herself.

"I came back." He smiled boyishly, teeth sinking into his lower lip. "I like this look better. This is the Bonnie I remember." Stepping forward cautiously, he continued. "You know, I tried to find you…after you left. Turns out, it's not as easy as they make it look in the movies." He joked with a crooked smile. "I thought maybe you'd gone to New York…can't tell you how many times I hoped I'd run into you."

Bonnie's gaze dropped to the ground, and she worried her lip between her teeth. "I bounced around a lot. Could never really stay in one place for long." She risked a look up at him. "I'm sorry…for leaving the way I did."

"I would have gone with you."

She nodded. "I know. That's why I couldn't let you. You had your life all planned out, coming with me would have ruined that. You deserved better."

He swallowed. "So did you." There was so much hanging there, unsaid. "Look, I'm in Chicago for a few more days; can we…catch up tomorrow?"

"Yeah…I'd like that." She smiled. "I don't work until seven tomorrow night."

"Well, I'm staying at the Peninsula, do you know it?" Her eyes widened briefly before nodding. "Swing by at say Noon, and we can grab some lunch."

She cleared her throat before answering. "Yeah, sounds good." She had always wondered what the inside of that hotel was like. It was a few steps up from any hotel she'd ever had the opportunity to stay in.

He leaned in hesitantly, before wrapping his arms around her in a hug. Her arms came around to hug him back, and she closed her eyes. His embrace got tighter, and she felt her whole body relax. "I really missed you, Bon." He whispered.

"I missed you too." She whispered back in a strained voice.