Every Time I Run Away – Part II

Phone calls, yeah, it's been a while back
You found love, maybe I should try that
And you're growing up, while I'm in a rut
Don't mind me if I never write back

And every time I run away
You're never far behind
And any time I'm feeling safe
You gotta wrong that right
I gotta get along with life
But you still run my mind
So if you're asking how I've been
I'm gonna have to lie
'Cause it's gonna be a long time
Yeah, it's gonna be a long time
Yeah, it's gonna be a long, long time
It's gonna be a long, long time

.

Bonnie glanced around the modern and elegantly decorated lobby of the hotel, suddenly feeling very underdressed in a pair of light blue skinny jeans and black, long sleeve bodysuit.

"Bonnie! Hey." She turned to see Damon walking over to her with a grin.

"Hey!" She felt him wrap his arms around her, taking her by surprise. It was like no time had passed, and to him, they were still best friends. It brought her a sense of home – something she hadn't felt in far too long. "This place is nice." She commented as they pulled away.

"Yeah, my friend has expensive taste." He chuckled. "You look beautiful, as always." Bonnie tried to hide a blush as she uttered back a modest 'thank you' in response. He was always quick to compliment her when they were younger; a trait he picked up from his very gentlemanly father, she was sure. "Come on, I booked us a table." He led her to the outdoor terrace, where the hostess walked them to their table. He pulled out her chair for her, almost without thinking, before stepping around to his own chair. "The food here is supposed to be really good." He commented, looking over the menu. He turned his attention back to her, giving her his full attention. "So, how've you been, Bon? Life treating you good; you happy?"

She didn't know how to respond to that. Usually when someone asked you how you were, it was easy to reply with a simply white lie. Yeah, I'm great. Living the dream. Never better. All readily available on rotation in her roster. But 'Are you happy?', no one had bothered to ask. "Yeah!" It came out way more enthusiastic than she felt. "I'm good, I'm great, actually." He nodded, but she could tell he didn't fully buy it. Thankfully, he let it go. Bonnie couldn't help but observe him. He had grown up; he wasn't that lanky kid with a shag of dark hair anymore. He was a man. With a five o'clock shadow, and muscular chest and arms. He wore button ups instead of Pearl Jam t-shirts and…a wedding ring? She felt a pang in her chest at that for some reason. Of course, he'd be married.

They ordered their meals and she could feel his eyes on her as she folded her napkin in her lap. "So…what have you been up to the last, what…ten years?" she let out an anxious laugh.

Damon smirked, sipping his water. "Eleven, actually. Well, after graduation I moved to New York, went to veterinary school, and opened my own practice. Just last year actually." She could tell by the look on his face he was proud to say it.

"That's amazing…that's what you always wanted." And she was proud of him too. Something Bonnie always admired about him was his drive and dedication for the things he wanted. Her eyes darted down to his left hand. "And you're married." Her voice strained on the last word, forcing through a smile.

"Uh…yeah." He acknowledged, dropping his eyes to the white table cloth, drumming his finger tips on it nervously. "For six years now."

There was that pang again. She eyed him. Something in the way he said it, made her think there was more to it than he was saying, and curiosity got the best of her. "Well tell me about her. She must be pretty amazing to snag up the infamous bachelor I remember." She teased with mirth in her eyes. All through high school, the girls would flock to him, desperate to catch his eye and be the girl he'd take to the parties and dances, but Damon much preferred flying solo.

He chuckled with a little roll of his eyes. "Uh…" He started, thinking about what he was willing to divulge. "We met sophomore year at NYU and we've been together ever since. At the time, marriage just felt like the next step." He concluded with a shrug.

"Kids?" She asked sipping her water through her straw.

"No…no, I don't think so." He brushed it off. He quickly diverted the conversation away from the topic. "What about you? Are you…seeing anyone?"

"Can't say I've had much luck in the love department." She let out a sarcastic scoff. "Try finding a decent guy in this city that's secure enough to let their girlfriend dance for other men." She sobered when he saw the uncomfortable look on his face. "No…I'm not."

He leaned forward resting his arms on the table. "Didn't you want to dance on Broadway? What ever happened with that?"

She shrugged. "I tried…but I didn't have any technical training, and apparently you can't get anywhere without it. Luckily working at the 'Pink Kitty' it's not a requirement." She added with a hint of bitterness.

Finally, Damon blurted out what he'd been asking himself since last night. "Why are you working there, Bonnie? You're so talented; you are definitely better than a place like that." He told her in a hushed tone.

She caught his eyes sharply, feeling defensive. "Hey…don't judge me, okay. I have my reasons."

"I'm not judging you. I'm just concerned. It's not exactly in the safest part of town, and the kind of guys that go there…" he trailed off with a shake of his head. He'd seen the way the men there looked at her with a creepy, drunken glaze in their eyes, like she was a piece of meat or a toy they wanted to play with. It immediately made him defensive, and he found himself wanting to confront the man who grabbed her as she was walking by, pulling her towards him for a dance. But she smiled easily, and slipped into a role, and he realized that as much as he wanted to…it wasn't his place to be her protector, not anymore. He'd spent so many years looking out for her, it was his instinct to want to defend her, even after all this time.

Bonnie crossed her arms. "It was good enough for you and your friends."

"Well, my friends are degenerate sleezeballs." He joked. "It was a bachelor party; strip clubs and lap dances are kind of rite of passage." He tried to justify. "I just want to make sure you're okay."

"I'm fine." She reassured, her voice pitching up an octave. "I've been doing this a long time; I know how to handle the degenerate sleezeballs." She teased back but it didn't seem to ease his worry. "Look, it's how I pay the bills, okay. Do you think I like degrading myself that way? I hate it. But I'm good at it." She'd tried other work; worked at coffee shops and waited tables but it was never enough to sustain herself. It was a girl she met while working at a bar that suggested the strip club where she worked part time, saying the guys would love her. And they did.

His brow creased in concerned. "Bon, if you need money-"

"I'm not looking for a hand out. I can take care of myself." She could see him start to protest and rested her hand over his. "Damon…you don't have to come to my rescue anymore. I'm a big girl." She broke to him gently with a reassuring smile.

He squeezed her hand back, and the moment was disturbed by the waiter bringing their lunch. They ate between small talk, reminiscing moments of their past and laughing at their childish antics. Damon wiped his mouth with the napkin, tossing it in his empty plate. "Oh man…I thought your grams was going to hate me forever." He chuckled as they recalled the broken window incident.

Bonnie laughed. "Are you kidding, she loved you. In her eyes, you could do no wrong. You know, it's funny, she always thought that we'd…" she trailed off, glancing down at her hands nervously fidgeting in her lap. "That we would end up…" Why couldn't she say it?

"That we'd end up together?" he finished for her in a deep rumble. She glanced up awkwardly, giving him a nod. "Me too." He admitted quietly. The deer in headlights look she gave him made his lips curl in a half smile. "You can't tell me you're surprised. You were the only girl I ever cared about."

Bonnie swallowed thickly. "I'm a little surprised…"

He raised a brow high on his forehead. "You think I would have run away with just anyone?" He teased before holding her gaze and taking a sobering breath. "I loved you, Bonnie." He stated softly and simply, like it was common knowledge. "I would have done anything for you." He admitted almost sadly.

She felt herself start the panic; her heart racing eyes blinking as she tried to process his admission. "Why are you telling me this now?" her voice shook.

He huffed a hesitant laugh. "I don't know...I guess I just needed to say it…and maybe you needed to hear it." He explained sincerely watching the emotions flash over her face. He could sense that she was close to fleeing and he reached for her hand over the table. "Bon…"

He was saying her name the way he'd said it so many times before; like a prayer on his lips – soft, pleading. She pulled back. "You're married."

His head dropped. "I know, but-"

"I should go." She stood, reaching into her purse for her wallet. "What do I owe you for lunch?" She needed to get out of there, fast.

Damon stood with her and stopped her from paying. "I don't want your money. Just…stay, let me explain everything." He pleaded.

She avoided his penetrating stare, fumbling with her purse, and tucking her hair behind her ears. "I um, I forgot that I had this thing I have to do. I have to go." She rushed out.

"Bonnie…" he called out to her as she backed away, bumping into the table behind her.

"Thank you for lunch." She rushed off, weaving through the tables and out of the hotel, leaving Damon standing there dejected.

…

Twelve Years Ago:

Damon's eyes opened slowly, blinking as he woke. He could hear the creak in the floor boards as footsteps crossed the room. He had his back to the window, but he didn't have to see her to know it was Bonnie. He allowed himself a sleepy smile, expecting her to settle into the couch, as she usually did, but what he hadn't expected was the dip in the bed as she slipped in behind him. Schooching as close as she could, she rested her cheek on his shoulder blade and snaked her arm around his waist. He could feel her trembling, and by the shaky breaths she was exhaling it sounded as though she'd been crying.

Slowly, Damon turned to face her, and she instantly ducked her head down. "You okay?" he whispered. All she did was nod in response, not trusting her voice. "Bon, you're shaking. Look at me." Tilting her head up, he met her teary gaze, and his jaw clenched at the bruising across her cheekbone and under her eye. "God…I hate him."

Bonnie shook her head. "Don't. I don't want to talk about it, okay?" She cuddled closer to him, tucking her head under his chin. "Can you just hold me?" she whispered in a tiny voice.

Damon engulfed her in his arms, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "Of course." This wasn't the first time she'd shown up with bruises, but this was the first time she didn't make an excuse for it.

.

It was hard for Bonnie to focus on her set that night, with her thoughts running wild from the conversation earlier that day. Why did he just drop this bomb on her out of nowhere? Why did he have to show up and turn her whole life upside down? Did he think he could swoop in here after all this time and they could pretend the last decade never happened? Why did he have to be married?

When she left the club that night, she stopped when she spotted Damon standing there, hands shoved in his jacket pockets. "What are you doing here?"

He walked up to her, determination in his eyes as he blocked her from passing him. "I'm not letting you run away from me this time, Bon. We need to talk about this."

She let her hands slap her thighs, feeling drained. "What do you want from me, Damon?"

"I just want you to hear me out." He swallowed looking down at her, letting his eyes dart between hers. "Do you know how many times I wished I could go back and do things differently? That I'd left with you that day, or that I told you what you meant to me before it was too late?"

She bit down hard on her lip as tears collected in her eyes. "But it is…too late." She whispered looking up to him. "We aren't those people anymore. I'm not the girl you knew back then. After everything…" she swallowed down the knot in her throat. "After everything I've been through, I don't think I could ever be her again." She didn't even want to tell him the horror show of her life on the run, too ashamed of her struggles to just get by. From shelters, to abusive relationships, from surviving on toast to the decrepit, cockroach infested shoebox she had to stay in when she first moved to Chicago. She didn't want to see the pity in his eyes.

He shook his head. "That doesn't matter to me. Whoever you were then, whoever you are now…I'm still going to love you."

"You have a wife." She countered.

He huffed in irritation. "Andie spends nine months out of the year on the other side of the country working and when she is home, we don't even sleep in the same bed. We've been over for a long time…we've both just been avoiding the inevitable. My heart's not in it anymore…I think because it's always wanted you." He finished with a devoted whisper.

She turned her head away as a tear fell. "Damon, please don't do this." She slipped passed him. It was all too much.

He turned, calling out to her. "Why? Why do you always have to run from me? For once could you just stop running away!"

She spun around, more tears tracking her cheeks. "What can I offer you, huh? I'm a twenty-eight-year-old stripper with daddy issues and years of emotional baggage. I make the wrong choices; I always have, and I've paid for every one of them. My last relationship…was a nightmare, and I swore that I would never let myself be that vulnerable again." Her lips twisted ruefully. "Trust me, you don't want me." It had started out as a fairy tale; he waltzed in this club, promising her the world, sweeping her off her feet, only for her to realize he was just like the rest of them – just like her father who begged for her forgiveness when he was sober and blamed her for everything when he was drunk, along with using her as both his physical and emotional punching bag.

"Why don't you let me be the judge of that." He stated at her for a long moment, trying to read her. "Am I alone in this?" he asked her, insecurity bleeding through his voice. "Can you honestly tell me that it never crossed your mind?"

She laughed humorlessly. "Of course it did! You were Damon Salvatore; any girl with eyes would have killed to have your attention."

He stepped closer, closing the distance between them. "Yet you did, and it didn't occur to you why?" She looked down to her feet, avoiding his eyes. "Or maybe it did." He frowned as he came to the realization. "You knew…"

Wrapping her arms around herself, she nodded. "Yeah, I mean…there were moments when I thought you might…" Meeting his eyes, she sucked in a deep breath before she continued on in a rambling tangent. "But I knew that in the end, all I'd do is hurt you because no matter how badly I wanted you I knew I'd do what I always do and run away because I am not happy; I am not fine, and I haven't been for a really long time." She finished as all the emotions came to the surface, her face crumbling as she struggled to keep it together.

Damon rested one hand on her shoulder as the other cradled her neck, his heart breaking for her. "Then stay with me…don't run away this time."

She fought every urge telling her to give in, melt in his arms. "I can't." Bonnie whispered painfully, her lower lip trembling. He tilted her chin up, forcing her to look at him. "Damon, I can't…"

His eyes darted between hers urgently. "Why not?"

Bonnie inhaled, and exhaled a shaky breath bringing her pooling green eyes up to meet his gaze. "Because out of all the things I've faced, I think what I'm most afraid of is what would happen if I allowed myself to love you." She cried through the tightness in her throat. "More importantly…if I did, and I lost you in the end." She trailed off in a broken whisper. "I wouldn't survive it, Damon…I know I wouldn't." she expressed with wide and terrified eyes, clutching onto him fiercely, as if he might vanish.

"You're not going to lose me, Bonnie. Not now, not ever…" He caressed her face affectionately, cradling her face in his hands. "Let me take care of you. It can be you and me, just like it always was." He watched her squeeze her eyes shut and try to pull away, her internal struggling manifesting itself. "You know what I think…I think I walked into this club the other day for a reason. I spent years trying to find you, hoping one day you'd show up on my door step or I'd bump into you walking down the street. And now here you are, don't you think that means something?"

She sniffled, taking a calming breath. "What do you even want with me?" she asked with a wobble in her voice. "Look at me, I'm a mess."

"I want what I've always wanted. To be the man that makes you happy. That gives you everything you deserve out of life." He offered her a hopeful smile. "All you have to do is say yes."

"What about your wife?" Bonnie asked anxiously.

"There are signed divorce papers sitting in my desk back in New York. I haven't been happy either, Bonnie. I think all I needed was a push in the right direction."

Bonnie rolled her eyes with a shrug. "Well, I don't know if I can just leave all this behind." A smirk pulled on her lips, letting him know she teasing. "I mean the great career, beautiful apartment overlooking the L train…it's kind of a lot to ask." Her nose scrunched, a playfully shining in her watery eyes.

"Yeah, I'm sure the five-bedroom house in Syracuse is going to be hard to measure up to." He joked back, laughing when her eyes widened.

She regained her composure, before questioning him with a narrowed gaze. "Is there a pool?"

He nodded, linking his arms behind her, resting them on small of her back. "And a hot tub."

Letting out a long-suffering sigh. "I guess I can be persuaded." And when she laughed, it was music to his ears.

He chuckled, tucking her into his side as he walked them out of the alley. "Come on, let's get out of here."

Bonnie wrapped her arm around his waist, falling in step with him. "Where are we going?"

"To get you packed." He exclaimed as if it was obvious. "We have a flight to catch tomorrow." Bonnie looked up at him with a grateful smile, and he looked down at her with a bright grin. He knew how much it meant to her with just that look, and he kissed her forehead affectionately. He pulled back with a frown. "Is that my sweater?"

"No…it's mine now. I recall you saying it looked better on me anyways." She smirked, resting her head on his shoulder.

"I did say that, didn't I. I'm surprised you still have it." He commented wistfully.

"It's the only piece of home I have left…I wouldn't give it up for the world." She sighed in content as he hugged her closer to him.

Damon leaned down to whisper in her ear. "I know the feeling."

…

AN: And that is the end of this song fic! I really hope you enjoyed this one, I really enjoyed writing it. I wanted to leave it this way because after so long apart, a climactic romantic reunion seemed a bit over the top. They are going to have to ease back into things, starting with their friendship.

Sidebar: I have decided that I'm going to do a prequel to 'Why You Gotta Be So Cold?'! I've received some positive feedback about Cowboy/Ranch Hand Damon and I really want to call it back. So you'll be getting a new song fic, showing how Damon and Bonnie fell in love as teenagers growing up on the ranch and what led them to where they are now. Looking forward to writing it! Please review! - Vanessa