Chapter 18

They drove in silence, the only sound coming from the soft hum of the car engine and the occasional rustling of her clothing. Kagome kept her head resting on his shoulder with his arm around her waist, breathing in his familiar scent and gradually feeling her emotions settle.

"Are you feeling better?" he asked, his voice soft and gentle.

Kagome nodded, pulling away reluctantly.

She had the rationale of a woman in her twenties due to the whole time paradox but suffered from the emotional capacity of a teenager. It was overwhelming. But with Sesshomaru, she knew what to expect; he wasn't a man -demon- with ulterior motives or intentions. He may be a great tactician, but he had always been honest with her, even if the truth hurt to hear.

With a soft voice, she murmured an apology to him. "I'm sorry." Though at this point, she wasn't sure what she was sorry for. For ignoring him for so long? For having him live out several timelines because of her mistake? For calling him unexpectedly? For holding onto him as if her life depended on it? Or for all of the above.

He reached up to gently lift her chin, causing her to look up at him. As the human glamor he had worn faded away, she was again struck by his stunning beauty. "I will always come for you, Kagome," he vowed in a sincere voice. "No matter where you are or what you need."

Tears pricked at the corners of her eyes as she spoke. "Thank you, Sesshomaru. You have no idea how much that means to me." A watery laugh erupted from her throat. "I don't know what I'd do without you, Sesshomaru."

He smiled, though it was only the slightest upturn of his lips, but it stole her breath away. Demons like him were too beautiful for their own good.

The door opened, and Kagome was greeted by a shorter, older man. Though he was wearing a hat that matched his suit, it was obvious that he was bald; his older features were sharp and pinched.

"Hello, Lady Kagome," he greeted in a shrill voice. "It's been a long time."

She stopped herself from leaping at him. He wasn't keen on touching humans.

"Hello, Master Jaken," she greeted with a warm smile.

"Instead of looking at me like that, I'd prefer you to hug me and be done with it."

"If you insist." Exiting the vehicle, Kagome crouched down, giving him a firm hug; he, much to her surprise, hugged her back just as tight.

"Tea will be waiting for you in the drawing room," Jaken informs Sesshomaru with a courteous bow.

They were greeted by two servants; they took Sesshomaru's coat and shoes, giving him slippers instead. They took Kagome's bag and shoes, offering her slippers nearly identical to Sesshomaru's but fit perfectly despite being for guests.

This time, Kagome was led down an entirely different hall. The mansion seemed more lively; the walls, which had seemed so vacant before, now had a pop of color that hadn't been noticeable due to the lack of lighting. She noticed that framed paintings and vases of flowers had now been added to the decor. The overall effect was much more welcoming than before.

As they walked the length of the expansive mansion, Sesshomaru remained stoic, but Kagome could sense a subtle shift in his demeanor. She wondered if she would ever truly understand this enigmatic demon lord.

Finally, they arrived at the drawing room.

The shoji screen doors slide open to reveal a serene and tranquil scene. The soft sound of a bamboo water fountain can be heard in the distance as Kagome steps onto the tatami mats that line the floor. A low wooden table stands at the center of the room, with delicate porcelain cups and a small teapot resting atop it.

The air is filled with the scent of fresh green tea leaves as steam rises from the pot. The walls are adorned with beautiful artwork depicting the cherry blossoms in full bloom, painted in the traditional style with delicate brushstrokes and bright, vibrant colors.

Kagome was led to take a seat on one of the lavish cushions on the floor, where a servant then served them tea. The aroma was sweet and fragrant, and Kagome took a sip, savoring the delicate flavors.

They sat in companionable silence, enjoying their tea.

Guilt rose up within her, heavy and oppressive, like a weight she couldn't shake off. She wanted to apologize, to say something, but the words caught in her throat.

"I don't want to hear it," He stated, making her look up quickly. Sesshomaru seemed to sense her inner turmoil, for he leaned forward, his piercing gaze never leaving hers. "You need not apologize, Kagome. Your intentions were pure, and you had no way of knowing the consequences of your wish."

Kagome felt a small relief at his words, but the guilt still gnawed at her. "But you were stuck in that loop for who knows how long. I can't imagine what that must have been like."

Sesshomaru gave a small shrug, his eyes flickering to the painting in the room as he leaned back. "Time means little to me, Kagome. And I have lived for centuries and experienced more than any mortal could ever dream of. It was a small inconvenience, nothing more." There was something in his gaze that stole her voice. "The jewel has been in my possession for hundreds of years; if I were displeased with the situation, I would have had the means to fix it. I care not for your pity; I made that choice- not you."

Kagome found herself fascinated by his nonchalant attitude. It was so different from her own, where every mistake weighed heavily on her. She couldn't help but wonder what it must be like to be so ancient, so jaded.

She looked at the painting that had grabbed his attention. Much like the rest of the room, the painting has a traditional style. A gentle breeze rustles through the branches of the sakura tree as a pair of lovers convene beneath it. Soft petals rain down upon them as they gaze into each other's eyes. The intricate details of the painting showcase the elaborate embroidery of their kimonos, with delicate shades of pink, blue, and lavender adding to the ethereal atmosphere. Their posture, tilted towards each other, reveals their undeniable love and adoration for one another. It's as if they're suspended in a moment of pure happiness, encapsulated by the stunning surroundings of the Sakura tree.

The artist had perfectly captured the beauty and transience of this exquisite scene, invoking a sense of wistful longing in the viewer's heart. It encapsulates the beauty of nature and love, something Kagome would never have suspected to interest Sesshomaru.

Kagome found herself studying Sesshomaru, noticing how the sunlight caught in his hair and how his eyes sparkled with an otherworldly gleam.

With a start, she realized that she had never seen him before. Not truly. She had always been so focused on his obvious traits. The way he moved with grace, the way he spoke with a calm authority. She saw the way he carried himself, proud and regal. The way his shoulders tensed ever so slightly when he was deep in thought, the curve of his lips when he found something amusing, and the way his fingers would fidget while trying to hide his emotions.

She knew all these small details about him, but never had she ventured to unravel his complexities and truly see him for who he was beneath his exterior.

"You look deep in thought," he remarked, his voice soft and low.

She shook her head, unable to come up with a response that didn't make her sound foolish. "Will you tell me about them? The time loops?"

It was as if she had suddenly caught a glimpse into the eye of a raging storm, the kind that was unpredictable and volatile yet mesmerizing in its power. Sesshomaru's eyes held a storm of emotion, a mix of anger, regret, and longing that seemed to churn endlessly within him.

Kagome felt a shiver run down her spine as she stared into those eyes, realizing for the first time just how deep and complex Sesshomaru truly was. She had always seen him as an untouchable being, a powerful demon lord who was above petty emotions like anger or regret. But now, looking into his eyes, she saw a side of him she had never even imagined existed.

"They all began the same." He started, his voice soft and measured. Kagome couldn't help but feel a sense of awe wash over her. She listened intently, soaking in every detail, as he recounted the events that had led to the loops and the consequences that had followed.

"I awoke within my bed the night Inuyasha was released from his curse." He grew detached and matter-of-fact. "The first time I sought you both out." He paused, taking a sip of his tea. "It was the shortest of the ones I remembered."

Kagome nodded mutely, not wishing to confirm what that sentence implied.

"The next was longer, though I know not what happened as I made a point not to involve myself with the jewel. I know not the cause for the time-loop's reset, only that it happened a couple of months later. This likely happened several times, though they all seem to blur together."

Again Kagome felt it better not to ask too many questions in regard to why they ended. He had told her early that her existence and that of the jewel were key factors.

"What of Rin? Did you find her again or take her as your wife?" Kagome asked.

He paused, looking at her like she had grown a second head. "She was my ward, more akin to being my child than a potential partner. But I did care for her every time, and though she had married different people in the varying time loops, the ones she was most happy in were with the slayer boy."

Kagome's heart warmed, seeing the care between his words and past actions.

"I took many lovers, one being the wind witch," He stated as if it wasn't just a bombshell of information.

"Did you ever have children?"

"If there had been more time, perhaps." There was a mix of bittersweet nostalgia in Sesshomaru's eyes as he gazed upon the painting. His gaze lingered on the couple, taking in the colors and shapes with a depth of emotion that Kagome could barely fathom. It was as though he was lost in a world that only he could see, filled with memories of what might have been.

As he stared at the painting, Kagome could see a hint of regret in his expression. Perhaps it was for the children he never had or the many lovers he'd taken but never truly loved. Or maybe it was simply for the time that had slipped away, the moments he could never get back, no matter how hard he tried.

Despite the sadness surrounding him, Kagome could also sense a strange peace emanating from Sesshomaru. He had come to terms with his past, accepted the things he couldn't change, and was now content to simply live in the moment.

She would never have thought Sesshomaru to be so selfless.

"It was through your assistance I discovered what a time loop was, though you also called it a paradox." Sesshomaru was still looking at the painting. "You were so desperate to stop the cycle, even when you eventually made a wish; I think you knew it would continue."

And as he finished his tale, his eyes flickered with a hint of vulnerability, as if he had just exposed a part of himself that he rarely showed anyone. Kagome knew that at that moment, she had seen the real Sesshomaru, who existed beneath the mask of power and strength.

"Thank you."

Their eyes met, and Kagome wished desperately at that moment she knew what emotion swam within his gold gaze.

For you, anything.

wolfYLady: I hope everyone enjoyed the latest chapter. It was a bit of a break from our hosts but I love Sesshomaru and Kagome, and just wanted them to have a moment. I also left a lot of subtle details as I kind of want to have a more indepth back store for this kind of idea in another story I want to write "A Thousand Times" I've been slow to write it but I just love the idea of falling in love with sometime in a time-loop.

Please don't forget to review it, it means a lot!