Saphira was sitting in her apartment as she slowly packed bags with the things she owned. Mostly clothes she has not worn in years. She had considered donating her clothes to a thrift store, but she also did not feel like doing much. It has been a week since Arthur fired her from his company, and a lot has happened since then. Nicholas and Arthur were no longer a couple, and Nicholas kicked Arthur out of his house. Arthur did own his own condo, so he wasn't homeless by Amy means. But Arthur tried to stay with him, because they had been together for so long. Unfortunately Nicholas no longer considered Arthur trustworthy, and he needed him out of his life. Saphira did feel sad because it was a result of her being fired, but it was Nicholas's choice at the end of the day.
As promised, Nicholas brought Saphira the best lawyer in the city to take on the case of charging and suing both Dylan and Claudia, and suing Arthur and his company. This ended up on the news, and companies working with Arthur's business began to remove themselves from him. And the promised international relations were now shattered. They did not want to be associated with a business who fired an employee who was assault by another employee. This led to businesses reaching out to Saphira to apologize and even offer her a settlement as they felt they played a part in her firing. Saphira rejected their offer of money, as she didn't feel right taking something from companies that were not at fault.
Saphira had a court date now for both charges, and with the help of Nicholas, the court date was rather soon. The police gave Saphira and her lawyer the evidence they were able to find in their investigation. Including witness statements. And Nicholas also hired an investigator, which helped to gather additional evidence against Dylan and Claudia, and even Arthur. There were things uncovered about the man that both Saphira and Nicholas wish they did not find out. She honestly wanted to be done with it.
The autobots have not given Saphira a hard time about it. While Mirage and Bumblebee have actively tried to comfort Saphira, and Arcee also said a few kind words to her about it, and some snarky words about Arthur, Dylan and Claudia, Optimus has remained silent. He has not said anything harsh or kind regarding it. However, when he did first hear about what happened, he gave her a sympathetic expression, but it was brief. He still insisted she sleep within his cab, and she honestly was okay with that. She didn't feel at home in her apartment anymore, and Optimus's cab provided a sense of safety for her.
But Saphira felt awful about herself. She has cried herself to sleep each night, even though she's tried not to so she would not get tears on the seats. Her childhood had been awful. Her parents made it no secret she was unwanted, and she had once believed that she could find people who did want her. But while Nicholas was willing to help her, she still felt like she has been unwanted again. Especially since Arthur was the one who essentially saved her a few years ago. She wouldn't even be here if it weren't for him. That is what hurts the most. She didn't care about the money she will most likely receive, she cared more about an emotional connection. She was now fearful of allowing herself to have any kind of friendship. Which has made it hard for her in regards to Mirage.
"Hey…" Saphira flinched a little when she heard Mirage's voice through the communication device. She looked down at the key, slightly irritated that he was reaching out to her. "I know there's no point in me asking, but I was thinking that maybe we should go and do something. I know there aren't many places that we can hang out like buddies, but…I found a few places. Maybe you can bring some ice cream, chocolate or cake, that way you can eat some sweet, comfort food while we enjoy the sunlight."
Saphira grimaced a little. She has barely eaten anything over the past week, and she was losing weight as a result. The stress had been really getting to her. "That is not something that I want right now, Mirage. I am just focused on clearing out my apartment. I only got one more week before I leave…so I might as well make it count."
"Oh…okay…" Mirage was extremely disappointed, but he didn't let that get to him. "I suppose I understand. We all do." She narrowed her eyes a little. "I can't say too much, since Optimus still does not want to talk about it. But…we've lost our world. Our home. We don't even know who is still alive back home, and we are the last few left from our world."
She softened her expression as she realized that they did understand the pain she was going through. "Right…I can't really compare my situation to yours, Mirage. I don't know what that feels like…but I do know what it feels like to lose everything. Even…your own identity. I've had to change my name in order to protect myself…"
"Really? Saphira is not your birth name?"
"No, it's not. I'd rather not say…it was a horrible name that my parents gave me. But…I hope they think I'm dead." Saphira knew there was always a possibility that her biological parents were looking for her. But she hoped they weren't. They never cared about her before, so it would not start now. "And now…I feel like…like…nothing. I might as well call myself that. Because that is probably all I am."
"No, no, no! Absolutely not!" Mirage was extremely shocked that Saphira would think that way about herself. He did not like it at all. "I know you have shut yourself off from trying to be friendly with me and Bee. I get it. You've been hurt by the closest people. And you already know this, but if we do find a way home, we will take it." She nodded as she did know that. "But it's not because we hate you. But we have a world, hopefully, to go back to. And, if there was a way, I would love to keep in touch. I see you as a friend, even if Optimus doesn't trust you."
Saphira listened to him, and she didn't believe him when he said that he would want to stay in touch with her if they did go back to their world. They seemed ludicrous to her. "You day that now, Mirage…but don't make a promise. I don't like promises anymore. They have all led to a point where I am hurt and broken. I know you want me to be happier, but I don't think that I can…not right now."
"I won't promise, because we don't know what the future will be like. I get it, Saphira. I really do. But the only thing I can promise is to try my best to be your friend while I still can. Does that not mean much to you?" Saphira frowned deeply as she listened and sniffled as tears fall from her eyes. "Alright, alright, I get it. The friends you've had before let you down. So I guess friends is a sore spot for you. So I will not force it."
Saphira did not know if she should be relieved or not, but she brushed his words aside. She just wanted to focus on clearing out her apartment. She has already gone through her freezer, fridge and pantry to get rid of stuff that she won't need. She kept the non-perishable food for now, as it would be the only thing she would eat for the time being. Though she did only eat some biscuits as her main food source. She wasn't interested in having anything like rice or meat. Her stress really kept her from eating food.
Saphira sighed as she finished filling one bag and moved onto another. She was happy that Mirage stopped talking to her. She really did not want to keep talking. Her mind was all over the place, and she just wanted to be left alone. She at least liked that about Optimus. He was silent about the whole thing, and it made actually respect him more in that aspect. Plus the fact was he made it no secret that he did not trust her. She did not know if he hated her, but she much preferred being told he didn't like her, which he pretty much did.
Her ankle had also healed enough that she could out a bit if pressure on it now, but she still used the crutches to get around. She had no other option, after all. But she was glad that it was healing. And that was likely another thing that might take most of the nutrition that she feeds to her body, or what little nutrition she eats. She likely should be walking normally in another week or two. And she was very happy about that.
She grabbed another bag to begin filling while she thought about what to do now. Aside from the court case she had to attend, she needed to think of the future. Getting a lump sum of money wasn't something that she cared about. She didn't know if she would get another job in New York, but she would have to have no contact with the autobots to do that. And that was somewhat frustrating.
Speaking of the autobots, they apparently seem to be finding Transit's trail. They keep finding his signal, and then losing it. It was almost like he was tormenting them. That's what Saphira thought anyway. But she did feel sympathy for the autobots when she would see their frustrations in being unable to locate Transit. They have already checked the bus yards around the city, but she did believe that Transit would not be stupid. He would be aware they would check there, and he would not be present when they check them.
When it was the afternoon, Saphira stopped packing her bags so she could shower to freshen up for the night. She made sure she had warm clothes ready, even though Optimus kept her warm during the night. She has had so much time to think, and while it would be good for some people, she did not know if she liked having so much time to think. It made her think of dark thoughts, and wonder if she should drift out to sea like she's been drifting through life.
Once she was showered and dressed, Saphira looked at herself in the mirror with sad eyes. Her green eyes were not sparkling like they used to, and with the stress of everything, she could see where she had visibly lost weight. She turned away as she did not want to look at herself for too long, and she grabbed one of the bags to take with her as she hobbled out of her apartment and made her way down to the parking lot.
Once she was there, she made her way over to Mirage and smiled s little when he opened the door for her before she sat down in the car slowly. She put the crutches into the passenger seat and the bag as well. She relaxed in the seat as the Porsche engine started and backed out of the spot. She did not really know what to start with, as it felt a little bit too awkward right now
"Would some radio cheer you up?" Mirage asked gently as he drove out of the lot. She shook her head as she stared out the window. "I have to say, I feel like I'm seeing a near mirror right now." She frowned and looked at the dash in surprise. "This may surprise you, but Optimus went through similar stages of despair like you are. When we realized we couldn't leave, he began blaming himself for it and he has lost hope about returning home. Transit is our last hope, but I honestly don't think Transit will tell us about his ship. There may not be one."
Saphira was a bit surprised as she wasn't expecting that. "So…did Optimus also feel like…that his life was wasted?"
"Uh, no, not like that. Optimus is our leader, Saphira. And that puts a huge responsibility on his shoulders." Saphira looked back out the window with a sigh as he knew their troubles weren't the same. "I know it seems strange to compare you both, but you are going through a similar motion. And I feel like I am watching Optimus all over again. I suppose the only difference is that he had us, and you feel you have no one."
"It's true though…no one has ever been on my side. Not even Arthur." She clenched her eyes for a moment as she held back the tears. "And I can't trust your word either, Mirage. My experience says otherwise, and I am not too scared to really allow myself to have friends."
"I know…and I am sorry that I can't convince you that I can be trusted. Though…given how Optimus is, I can understand why." Mirage sighed deeply as he wished that Prime treated her differently. "But I have noticed he seems to have softened to your presence. He won't show or tell you, but he's told us that when you cry yourself to sleep, it makes him feel a sense of sympathy to you. I think that is a good thing."
"It doesn't matter. He doesn't trust me, or like me...sympathy doesn't mean things will get better. All it means is that he sympathizes with my situation…although, I don't think it would be as much as you think." She sniffed and bit her lip as years threaten to spill from her eyes. "The only thing I do appreciate is that you and Bumblebee have proven to be great to talk to. And…I am hoping to leave the baggage behind soon…once this court case is settled."
"And hopefully you can start to heal. It won't be easy, as this has clearly affected you, but we can help you…of course, if Optimus is fine with it. I can only do so much, Saphira. I can be your ears, shoulder to cry on and even a punching bag…" Saphira raised an eyebrow at that. "Okay, maybe not a punching bag, you would only break your hand. But you know what I mean, I am sure."
"Yeah, I do…it is nice that a nonhuman is there to listen to me…I guess I'm like Optimus in that way. I don't trust other humans anymore…to be fair, I didn't have much trust since not even the school helped me. My parents always made up a believable story, and they believed them over me." Saphira looked back out the window with a slight smile. "At least someone believed me this time…and I am getting justice, but scars don't heal. They linger forever."
"That they do. We understand that better than anyone. But you should not see scars as a weakness, Saphira. It simply means you've been through something tough and came out of it stronger." She frowned as she did not believe that. "You might now believe it now, but I honestly believe that you are stronger than you give yourself credit for, Saphira. You have learned to trust yourself, and that is important."
"I guess…but I am losing trust in myself as well, Mirage. I might have a great work ethic, and I can be part of any company…but when something happens, I am the one who will get the boot. One experience might not be enough…but that is how I feel." She did think about trying to keep her thoughts to herself, but she couldn't. "How do you guys do it? You've pretty much lost everything, but each other. How do you cope?"
"Hmm…I can't really speak for the others. But for myself, I am grateful that I am alive and kicking. I lost a world, sure, but I can see this world as my home. If the big man was not up tight about it, it could be our home." She listened to him quietly, and she wondered how Optimus coped with the loss he's experienced. "I cope by looking at what is good, Saphira. I look at the world around me, and I see the beauty in the sunrises and sunsets, the blue sky and the plants…we don't even have plants on our world. It makes me envious, if I am honest." That made Saphira laugh as she thought it was ridiculous. "You might think it is funny, but it is true, Saphira. Not every world will look like Earth. And it is a good thing too. And with our world having no plants, it certainly has a different feel. And I actually enjoy feeling grass under my feet when we get the chance."
"I guess that would feel nice when you have come from a world with not plants…and there are so many plants too. A lot of them are nice to look at, and others we eat." She was smiling as she thought about it. "I would love a garden someday…but I would need to get out of the city for a nice acreage. That way I would have the space to make something beautiful…at least I would have nature around me, and it would be peaceful."
"Sounds like a nice idea."
"Yeah…but it might never happen." Saphira was still holding back the tears as she knew that she was in a lot of emotional and mental pain right now. "I am trying not to be hopeless…but I just…I just have been drifting through this life. That is all."
Mirage really did not know what more he could say to the girl to try and cheer her up. He knew that she was in pain, and he wanted to ease that pain for her. But he did not know how. His offer earlier about taking her somewhere to eat some ice cream or whatever she wants was still open, and he knew she was aware of that. But she had to decide to take it. Plus, Mirage has noticed that Saphira was losing weight. He was aware that was not good, and he did not want her to get to the point of skin and bones. That would be horrible. And while chocolate, ice cream and cake wasn't the healthiest thing, it would put calories into her body.
This pretty much made the trip to the wharf another quiet one the rest of the way. Saphira did not mind, as it allowed her to relax a bit more and she didn't let any further tears spill from her eyes. It was just another end to the day, and Saphira knew that she had to keep pushing. The court day was soon, and she would need to attend. She was not sure how the court would go, but her lawyer assured her that she would get a slam dunk. And that both Dylan and Claudia are likely to receive jail time, whereas Arthur will likely have to pay a huge settlement.
When they arrive at the wharf, it was not busy as usual. It seemed this cargo area was not used often, which wasn't a surprise. There was a newer wharf cargo ships stop at, and this one was only used if the other was occupied. Upon entering the warehouse, Saphira and Mirage see only Bumblebee waiting for them. Saphira looked around curiously, and she saw there was no sign of Arcee or Optimus. That was a little weird, as they were always on time.
"Hmm…weird…" Saphira shrugged a little as Mirage came to a stop. "This would be a first time that they aren't here before we are."
"Yeah, I should have mentioned that they were a bit behind. But I think they were following Transit's trail before, and they lost it again. He's being a sneaky decepticon." She nodded in agreement as she grabbed her crutches and opened the door. "Woah, woah! You should wait until Optimus gets here, Saphira."
"I'm not going anywhere important, Mirage." She chuckled as she stood up slowly, steadying herself on the crutches and hobbling away. She turned her head, looking at an open roller door and she could see the river, and the sunset reflecting from it. "I am just going to enjoy the warmth of the sunset. I need a sense of happiness again today."
"Nothing like a bit of a ray of sunshine to light the day!" Bumblebee said enthusiastically through the radio, making Saphira smile at him as she hobbled around Mirage. "The sunset is very beautiful today. Someone has painted a wonderful picture for us." Saphira did not respond as she hobbled towards the door. "Did you have a quiet day at home? The last week's been so hectic for you, at least you can relax."
"I can't until after the day in court, Bumblebee." She stopped and she turned towards the camaro. "But yes, I had a quiet day. But I somehow don't like quiet days anymore. My apartment feels cold, even with the heaters on. And it even feels darker, even when the sun shines directly through the windows. I know it…it is just my hurt, but…"
"No, no, I get it. Pain can turn things sour, even when it is somewhere meant to be safe." Bumblebee rolled closer to her before he transformed suddenly. She flinched as their transformation still startled her. His blue optics gaze at her with kindness. "That is how it has been for us. I met a human before you…and things could have turned for the worst. But I believe that we are safe, even with you around. We are doing a better job of keeping hidden."
Saphira appreciated his kind words. "Thanks. But stay in your car form. This place might not be busy, but there are the occasional trucks that come along to gather some cargo containers to take away." Bumblebee nodded and she turned to hobble out of the open door. "I am just going to stand and enjoy the sunset."
Bumblebee made no response, and she heard him transform back into his car mode. She stood by the wall overlooking the river and stared off into the horizon. She could see the buildings of the city in the distance, and she could even make out the Statue of Liberty as well. She closed her eyes as she enjoyed the warmth of the sunset. Even though the air was colder now, due to winter approaching, she still found warmth in the sun and she enjoyed it.
The sound of the water was very calming. It's motions were never the same everyday. It changes. The tides rise and fall, currents change directions, and the wind can influence the power of the crushing waves out at sea. And if there is an earthquake under the water, a tidal wave could be surging under the surface of the water in preparation to hit an island. The power of the ocean was simply unmatched by anything on this planet.
And she could not help but think that drifting out to sea would be good. No one would miss her. The autobots could go on without her as a burden. Even though they have been reasonably good to her, Saphira knew she was burden to them. Especially to Optimus Prime. He would not miss her. Mirage might, but he would likely forget her. She scoffed as she still did not understand how he could call her pretty. He's complimented her appearance more than a few times, and she didn't think he was serious.
She opened her eyes when she heard the sound of a freightliner and a motorcycle pulling up in the warehouse, and she took a deep breath as she knew she would have to go back inside. She almost did not want to, but she had to. She looked at the sunset with a slight smile before she turned around, flinching as she saw Optimus transform, and he gazed at her with a hard, curious expression. She gulped as she thought she might have done something wrong, but she hobbled back into the warehouse anyway.
"Um…evening…Optimus," Saphira said in a slow, nervous tone. "I was just enjoying the sunset…it is not everyday I get to enjoy watching the setting sun over the water." She stopped as she looked up at him. "I am also sorry for how I…I have been this past week. I can't promise it will change…but it is okay. I won't burden you with my concerns."
Optimus listened to her before he crouched down, lowering his head closer to her level, making her tense and back away awkwardly. His expression was still hard, but it wasn't like it was the day she met him. "I am not angry at you, human. I have heard your cries each night this past week." She grimaced and looked away from him in shame. "And while I don't understand human careers, jobs and money…it is all so alien to me…but I do understand loss." He intakes heavily and exhales slowly. "I know you will not understand what we have been through, and I do not expect you to. But now I believe I am understanding your life a little more. You went by a different name."
She looked at him in surprise before remembering the communication device Mirage had given her was linked to all the bots. "Um…y-yes. I did. The one my parents gave to me. But…I hated that name…so I don't want to share it. Plus, it is a part of me I try to forget, but it haunts me. It haunts me because…I don't know what it feels like to be wanted. Everyone I've met, except for Mirage, has not wanted me, and even hated me. I guess I am just this world's punching bag."
Optimus listened to her kindly and pondered on something for a moment before he spoke. "You must think my distrust for you is hatred. I want you to not make that mistake, Saphira. I do not hate you. I don't trust you." She did not look up as she believed that he did hate her. "If your human government had not found out about Bumblebee a few years ago, and tried to hurt him, and side with the decepticons at the time, I might be more forgiving."
"To be fair, I really don't blame you." Saphira shrugged a little and looked up at him with a slight smile. "It's just…a selfish nature of humans. Especially those with a lot of power and money. They seem to think they can rule over anything. Even if it isn't from Earth."
"I see you have wisdom regarding your own leaders, and I think that is sad that you can see it. But you have graciously accepted our existence." She's had no choice in the matter. And he knew it. "And as you have come to treat Mirage and Bumblebee with respect, despite lacking trust with us yourself, I can see that you have the potential to be trusted."
She frowned a little and shook her head. "That sounds like a promise…I don't like promises…"
"It is not. It is a simple observation." Optimus watched as she shuddered, even though he made no promises to her. "Understand this. My distrust for you is not personal. You were not responsible for what happened to Bumblebee, I understand. I just have come to realize humans will go to your law enforcement to deal with us if you felt like you had to. And I must protect my family." Family. That word made her cringe as she hated the word. "Despite that, I want you to know that…I sympathize with your situation, human. Despite not understanding it completely, I still sympathize. Scars are very hard to heal." He transforms back into the freightliner, which made Saphira flinch again. "Come. We were hot on Transit's trail this afternoon. I think he's playing a game with us."
Saphira shrugged as she couldn't answer that. "I am afraid I don't know. I don't know anything about you or the decepticons, so I wouldn't know."
Optimus was still stubbornly refusing to tell Saphira about the race of Cybertronian. While that ice was slowly melting, along with his distrust for humans, it could be a long time before he tells her anything about what they are, and where they were from. He still worried about his autobots being attacked. She was aware of that. And she was proving that she was unlikely to say anything, but Optimus was not about to drop his guard.
Mirage helped Saphira climb into the cab where she would get herself comfortable in the backseat, and cover herself with the blanket before she would try to sleep. Which still resulted in her crying, and she always cried as softly as she possibly could. Though despite that, Optimus knew she was crying herself to sleep again. Optimus did not try to comfort her, as he learned through hearing her conversations with Mirage and Bumblebee through the communication device that she was not in the right mind for it. She lacked trust for anyone, and he honestly understood that. He knew that the only comfort she got from him was a safe, warm cab, and that seemed to be enough.