Winnie's POV
"You're smiling." I sulk in the passenger seat, crossing my arms over my chest so I don't slap my own forehead.
"Me?" Embry asks innocently as he takes me home. Then he starts whistling the jolliest tone as he makes a turn. Glancing at the side mirror, I check to see if I'm still red in the face. Since I woke up on top of Embry, I've been blushing like mad. Splashing cold water didn't help, neither did drinking any, but I suspect curling into a ball and praying to stop existing might.
I hadn't just spent the night at Embry's, I spent the night on top of him. I snored, rolled, drooled, and twitched all over him for the whole night. Then he woke up to me, when I look my worst with bed head, morning breath, puffy eyes and all. No better than a bear right out of hibernation. Even worse, his mother saw me. I haven't even introduce myself to the woman and I crashed at her house. It was so mortifying, Embry offered to take me home as soon as he stopped laughing at how red I got. We're both still in our pajamas.
"You know, I might count this as our second date." Embry decides, reaching over to intertwine our fingers together. Even with how shy I've been feeling all morning, I give his hand a squeeze back.
"We were asleep for most of our date then." I mumble, still not able to look him in eye yet. I know he doesn't fully mean that, because he keeps insisting on a proper take me out date, and won't consider all of the times of us spending time together as an official date.
"Hmm, good point." Embry's eyes narrow in thought, his head nodding along to whatever he's thinking over. "Still the best morning I've ever had." Though I don't tell him it was one of my best morning too, I silently hope he hears it when I squeeze his hand again.
"I wish you have let me make you breakfast," Embry says the hundredth time since we first got up.
"I already imposed too much. You made me dinner, I used your shower, then spent the night. I couldn't let you wait on me anymore." I finally turn to look him in the eye, since the blush isn't subsiding anyway with avoiding eye contact. When his dark eyes land on my face, a smug grin lights up his face and I turn back to the window so fast it's a surprise I didn't break my neck.
"You're adorable." He lets out a laugh, the warm sound making me grin myself. When the van comes to a stop, he walks me to my door. Whistling smugly to himself and swinging our hands the whole walk up.
I turn redder, hoping Enola isn't watching us from a window. Hopefully she went to bed early and didn't notice I hadn't come home. Though she wakes up early and is sharp as a hawk before 8am.
"I hope you know you're welcome to stay over whenever." Stopping outside my front door, Embry gives me a sincere look, soft around the eyes as he says it. "Always," He adds, and with the way he tenderly pecks the back of my hand, I know he means it.
"This was the first time I've ever spent the night with a guy." I admit, knowing my blush is doubling. My body goes hot with the admission, and I feel like that loser girl from high school all over again.
"This was my first time spending the night with a girl." Embry confesses with a coy, crocked grin at his feet before beaming back up at me. The blush instantly fades away at the revitalization, my face surely going white from shock.
"Really?" It's hard to believe. Embry was one of the most asked out guys in our school. He had lines and lines of girls from just being his charming self, he didn't even need to try. I would know, I was one of the many. Embry had a date at every school dance, or had a girl asking him out every weekend. He certainly had a lot options and opportunities to spend the night with a girl long before last night.
"Yes, you're the first for me." He smiles down at me as he steps in closer. Already getting over feeling shy a moment ago. Busying myself with unlocking my front door, I try to remind myself there's nothing to be nervous about since he won't kiss me. The other day when he accidentally pecked me, he looked just about grief stricken. With how he keeps avoiding my mouth, you'd think I have nothing to worry about. Instead it just causes an anxious flip in my stomach.
"Hey, hey," Embry gently pulls me back before I step inside. The serious look on his face slips when our eyes meet, and he presses a kiss to my cheek. I have to hold the doorframe for support, already leaning into his touch. Everything I was feeling this morning instantly rushes away, with bigger feelings filling me up.
"I like you so much, Winnie." He murmurs, the serious look back on his face as he pulls back to look down at me. My heart stops altogether, holding on to the moment so tightly before it passes, then starts back up again so hard it nearly knocks the breath out of me. "I know we haven't even had a second date, and now you already spent the night. I know you don't jump into things or rush. Just to be clear, last night didn't imply anything, but still it means something to me that you stayed over."
My heart is thudding so loud in my ears, I'm not even sure if I heard him right. Then I wonder if I'm still asleep on Embry's couch and if I'm dreaming all of this. Then his dark eyes swallow me whole, taking me all in with a look so heartfelt I know it's real. He's told me he liked me when he first asked me out, but it still feels... as he's saying it for first time.
"I...Embry," I can't even manage anything but his name. It comes out shaky and quiet. I try again, yet it's just as wobbly. I didn't know I even realize I grabbed hold of his hand till his fingers interlock through mine. The contact undeniably feels right, and I can find my voice better now.
"I like you too," I've always told him now I've liked him since we were kids, but I've never said it back. A huge smiles spreads across his face, and I almost expect him to pick me up and twirl me around. Instead he closes me into the door, stepping in close as possible till there's just a silver of space between us.
"There is nothing better than hearing you say that," He should kiss me. The look in his eyes says how much he wants to. I can feel it in my bones, he should kiss me. We're leaning into each other, ready to grab on and never let go. Yet, Embry's self control is killing us both. My lips tremble slightly, with the word please is at the tip of my tongue stuck behind my teeth. My legs move on their own, extending and pushing me up by tippy toes to move in closer.
"Winnie, I—" He does it again. He staggers back, putting space between us rather than closing it. Straightening up against the door, I try my best not to come up with reasons why he won't kiss me. Instead I just about ask him too.
"You can kiss me." I wish that came out confident, matter of fact, and sure of myself. I like to believe I've grown into that kind of person. But with the way I can feel my cheeks go warm, I know that when it comes to Embry I'm still that shy girl from high school. I half expect him to flush a bit with that boyish grin of his. He goes tense. There's a hooded look in his eyes, his eyes burning, making my body go hot under his gaze.
"I shouldn't," His voice is tight, struggling between trying to sound pleasant and trying not to sound raspy.
"Why shouldn't you?" That shuts him up. A silence stretches over us, doing nothing for the tension.
"Because," He draws the word out, focusing his all onto that singular word. "Because I want it to be right."
"We've already kissed before, Embry." I'm not talking about that accidental peck from the other day. I'm speaking about when we were fifteen, when we kissed at that beach party. We've never talked about our first kiss. Never even hinted at it. Because we can't talk about our first kiss without talking about everything else that happened that night.
"Yeah, and that kiss got ruined." He breathes, suddenly needing to be close to me again. He leans back into me, grabbing onto my hands for a comforting squeeze. "Everything about that kiss was wrong. You were drunk. Hell, we both had been drinking. You were in the middle of crying your eyes out after having the worst night of your life. And I made a move on you? It wasn't right. I wasn't thinking straight. Don't even get me started on the guys who took that stupid video. You were haggled about it for the rest of high school just because I acted on an impulse. It was a drunk kiss in the dark that ruined, and I want our next one to be..."
"You want it to be romantic?" I offer.
"I want it to be the best kiss you've ever had." His eyes are bright with a mix of want and sincerity. "I'm going to do it right this time. I want to take you on a date, then kiss you goodnight so you'll know that's there's no denying my feelings for you."
"You don't have to prove how you feel about me by wining and dining me or with flowers, Embry." My heart is thundering. I can't make sense of whether or not if it's aching or breaking. My entire body is fighting something, something I can't put into words. All I know is I'll feel better once I have Embry in my arms.
"The last time I kissed you we didn't speak for four years." Embry's voice is hoarse when he points it out, like it pains him just admitting it. That hurts. I wince at his words, but it's true, we haven't spoken up till a few months ago. Being outside suddenly seems unbearable, making me wish we were inside. It's cold, why I haven't invited him in? Why are we having this talk on my front steps of all places? It's probably going to rain any minute.
"I have to ask, did you like me in high school?" The question that dominated my adolescence finally comes out. When Embry takes a beat to think over his answer, I add, "You knew I liked you."
"I wouldn't have kissed you if I hadn't liked you." Embry states but there's no usual winning grin. I know there's truth to his words because Embry never lies.
"You kissed me right after seeing me stark naked." I try to laugh it off, but my chuckle comes out dry and brief. "I liked you since our first day of kindergarten." Just when I think we're boiling over into a fight, Embry pulls me into his chest, wrapping me up into a big hug that makes all the doubt and hurt ebb away.
"Honestly, when we were younger I knew you liked me. I could tell by how whenever you saw me you would get this nervous look, go all red and then avoided me. But I hadn't gotten a chance to even talk to you, or get to know you that much. For most of grade and middle school you were the girl my friends would tease me about. The only time I had glimpse of you was when we were in the same class." I flinch in his arms, trying to decide if I should dodge his eyes or break out of embrace. He has a good point though, he couldn't very well ask me out if we never spoke.
"But when I actually gotten to talk to you, I had a crush on you ever since. From that very night, I had a crush on a girl for years, for all of high school, even after graduation." Embry insists, stepping back to arms length away to give me a honest expression.
"You liked me all of high school and never told me?"
"You wouldn't speak to me. You wouldn't even look at me. I thought you avoided me before, but it was like we weren't even in the same school." Embry sighs.
"If I spoke to you..." I take a deep breath, trying not to remembering just how much terrible high school was. It's one thing to be bullied, I was the entire school's joke. "I only avoided you because whenever we were in the same room, someone would say the most degrading things and passed around that video...and I didn't think you liked me. I thought I was embarrassing you."
"I thought you hated me, because everyone cheered me on. I figured I was bothering you." A heavy silence falls over us, one so thick and uncomfortable we break apart. I'm quiet when I enter my cabin, too stunned to notice I'm still wearing Embry's clothes or remember how I spent the night. What was the original issue we were talking over? I can't even say.
Maybe this entire time we've always been talking about that night in freshman year without really knowing.
"Everyone one was really hard on us," I turn around to Embry, whose still hovering at the door. "So we've been hard on each other this whole time. That's gonna stop right now."
"We wasted a lot time, didn't we?" Embry shakes his head in disbelief.
"Yeah, we did." I nod. "So, are you going to wait till we go on second date to kiss me?"
His dark eyes flash to mine, and my stomach does an excited flip when I don't find hesitance in them. With how tall Embry is, he's across the room in seconds. In his rush he left the door ajar, and I'm too dizzy to care. I let out a rush of air when his hands land on me because his already hot skin feels scorching when they grasp me at my lower back and one at the back of my neck that gives me goosebumps. I clutch onto him with a white knuckle grip, because I won't let him pull another stint of chivalry or restraint.
This kiss is nothing like the our first kiss.
It's not a simple peck or a timid brush of the lips. No accident or hesitance. His lips land on me with so much feeling I would have staggered back if it wasn't for his arms keeping me in place. I kiss him back with everything I have in me, my hands shaking from the force of it till they grip onto his shoulders to pull me in closer. Responding to my silent plead, he pulls me up into his chest, his hands tightening on me with an added groan that makes my toes curl up.
We should probably come up for air. But we can't bare even an inch between us. We clutch at each other, deepening the kiss because we're fitting in four years into one long overdue moment. There's a growl against my lips when his hands run across the bare skin of my torso under his borrowed t-shirt, then he breaks us apart and squeezes his eyes shut.
"Was I rough?" He doesn't look at me when he asks, trying to even his labored breathing. It's in tune with my own airy pants.
"No," I shake my head, shaking my head slowly. Even though he's trying to keep us arms length away, his hands are still planted on my waist and the touch makes me dizzy.
"That's going to need some practice." He murmurs to himself. I bulk in his hands, one of my hands flying up my mouth self consciously. Out of the two of us Embry has the most experience kissing.
"Me?"
"No, me." Embry finally looks at me, giving me a tired grin. "I going to have to practice some self control. Or I'm going to devour you."