HELL IS FOREVER AND ITS MEANT TO SUCK A LOT! I mean it's true, no matter how much an asshole he is, it's still true. Catchy song too. Hello everyone and welcome back the last couple of weeks have been hectic for sure and I would like to introduce myself to any newcomers (Hazbin section), I'm Zer0the0mega108 and I usually write DMC crossover stories harem fanfics cause its fun. I also have a rewrite of Episode 7 for the Sequeal Trilogy and a bit for Ep 8 if you want to check them out. An Amphibia story as well set during the epilogue, and hopefully many more that is a part of that multiverse.
Anyways, welcome to a brand new story, one that I didn't have planned til I watched the very show were writing from. My thoughts on the show...um, it wasn't the greatest thing ever but it wasn't the worst either. It was good, that's all I'll say til the end. I liked a lot of things, Adam I felt like as a 'main' antagonist was...pretty fucking weak. He appears in like three episodes and honestly I feel like he would be much more fun as a deuteragonist with the group, ya know get a Heaven perspective for a series that is trying to redeem sinners...in Hell. So in a way thats what this story is, both a rewrite for some of the characters (Adam, Vaggie, Lute) and story. Adam is the main character, it's gonna be fun and I hope everyone enjoys. I actually got two more chapters I got done and I hope it gives everyone an idea of what the story is like.
So with that out of the way, rock on bitches, and enjoy!
Chapter One: A Chance at Redemption Part One
Darkness. That is all he saw at first. It was strange, what was this place? Was he alone? Wait, was he? He made a strange…noise? He felt something move beside him, apart of something that he was connected to.
"Oh good, he is waking up." He was met with a blinding force that clouded his perception. Once he became accustomed to it, he found himself laying across a strange field, a garden with a lake and waterfall. He didn't know where he was, what this place was, or what he was. Flipping onto his….hands? How did he know these things? Regardless he crawled over to the large shape of water, staring at his own reflection. What was he? He looked…..well he didn't know what he was nor what to compare to. Before he could wonder anymore, a gentle and comforting feeling is placed upon his shoulder, looking up to see a figure staring down at him. She was gorgeous, with darker skin than his, literally radiating in a light dress, several wings behind her back, and a strange loop around her head.
"I know this is all so strange, but allow me to welcome you to Eden." The being stated with a gentle smile, gesturing to the garden around them. Eden. It sounded so beautiful and looking around it surely was a beautiful place. He looks around the garden, eyes shining in awe, before they reach down and take his hands, helping him stand up. Despite her tall stature, he nearly rivaled her in height, and he felt his cheeks heat up as he continued to stare at the being. He had so many things running in his head, and realizing he hadn't done what she said, opened his mouth.
"What…..what are you? Wha….What am I?" The being smiled gently, gesturing to the sky above them, a strange sphere of light shining down on them.
"I am Seraphiel, The High Seraphim of Heaven, and loyal Servant of the Creator. And you, beautiful creature, was created by the Lord as the first of your kind. This Garden is your kingdom as decided by the Lord, as the first of Man." She said, smiling gently at him.
"You are-!"
"Adam! Sir!"
Adam's eyes popped open, staring up at the ceiling of his lovely and heavenly abode. His alarm clock was silenced last night, which of course showed he was ten minutes late to his meeting. Eh, whatever. Adam groaned as he stood up from his bed, rubbing his hand through his locks, his halo tilted before he adjusted it.
"...Ugh…Great, killer hangover." Adam growled as he stood up from his bed, snapping his fingers and summoning morning coffee.
"Sir. The preparations are ready for…..THAT time again." The voice called out from outside the door to his apartment. Adam took a sip of his coffee before grinning, right, right…it was THAT time again. His yearly time of entertainment. To get back at the snakey little fucker. Adam downed his drink before snapping his fingers again, and once again he was in his heavenly robe and helmet. Really the thing wasn't a welcome sight among other angels, but this was for personal reasons and because he was Adam most didn't ask. Walking to his door he opened to the sight of his Lieutenant, Lute.
"Lutey, hey babe~~! Not so loud."
"Please, Sir, don't tell me you-Oh of course you went down to Earth." Lute muttered, shaking her head with her free hand, her helmet in the other.
"Hey, it was completely for business, that Verosika concert wasn't gonna attend itself. Besides, Dangertits, I'm fucking ready for today." Adam laughed as he flew into the air, Lute right behind him.
"Now Lutey, why don't you get the girls ready at the gates. I got a meeting with Sera ten minutes ago, you know how she gets this 'time' of year." Adam chuckled with air quotes, Lute saluted Adam before flying off. The Angel shook his head before flying above the pearly skyscrapers of Heaven, the light realm of perfection, where angels and good souls or winners as he calls them entered for the eternity of their lives. Adam of course being the VERY first soul to ever enter heaven but off course he would be, he was fucking Adam: THE Man, the one who made everything on Earth, The Original Dick himself. He was Heaven's biggest Celebrity, Well one of them, JC was still hard to beat but the guy could lay out a nice beat.
Adam continued to flap his golden wings before landing in front of LOGOS, the main central hub for the High Seraphim and beyond it was the Empyrean…but not many entered that place. Adam can't even remember the last time he stepped up those stairs to see the big G. Adam walked into the room to see many angels and Winners enjoy their many day to day lives. Of course they were oblivious to certain things, such as Adam's thoughts. Adam didn't have any animosity to the angels here, but he had to admit they can get a little boring. Luckily when he arrived he spruced up the place with some ROCKING music, the choir stuff was fine for that boring opera shit.
"Adam!" A voice happily sang as something tackled the man's side. Adam grinned madly as he looked down to see a Seraphim smiling up at him.
"Sup Emipie. How's it flying?" Adam chuckled. Emily, a young Seraphim under Sera's wing, and while he will never admit it, he had a soft spot for the little sweet thing…..maybe because it reminded him of…her.
"God~~! Mickey is so boring today, all he could talk about was working at the front gate."
"Mickey watching the gates, what happened to Pete?"
"Saint Pete is on vacation for the week." Adam hummed, well this might be easier explaining why he and his personal army were going out.
"Well, wish I could stick around but I got a meeting with Sera."
"Right! Cause today is that annual meeting you have with Sera…of which I am old enough to now join, right~~?" Emily asked, fluttering her puppy dog eyes. Adam chuckled nervously. He liked Emily, but he doubted she would approve of this…..actually MOST OF Heaven would find this whole thing shocking. Still it had to be done, for personal and VERY important reasons.
"YYYYeeeaaahhh sorry Emily, you know how Sera is-besides boring-but this meeting is….well it's fuuuuuugding boring." Adam also had to cut back on the swearing not because of Emily but because of Sera and all the uptight Angels above them.
"Aww…..but why can't I join this one unlike the other ones? I'm two thousand years old, I just wished Sera would stop treating me like a child." Emily pouted. Adam letting out a chuckle, reaching down and ruffling up her hair.
"Hey, I hear ya Emipie, certain rules are meant to be broken otherwise it ain't fun. But sadly, this is one of those cases where Sera is right…..shocking I know." Adam jokes, eliciting a giggle from the Seraphim.
"How about this, after I get back, Lute and I will bring you to a meteor fall where we can ride the rocks. I bet that will make Sera flip her halo." Adam teases, elbowing the Seraph before scooting her along.
"Now run along, otherwise Sera will be on my asssssssssspects to be punctual. Yeah that made fucking sense." Adam whispered the last bit.
"Okay, see ya later Adam!" Emily quickly flew up hugging the taller angel, and with that the smaller Seraph flew off, waving hello to everyone that passed her.
"Sweet Angel…..ass should be considered a sin tho." Adam jokes as he walks into the elevator and enters the code to Sera's office. The elevator went up, allowing Adam to get a better view of this golden utopia. Heaven was all around perfect, not an ounce of Sin or at least those that are considered punishment and a one way ticket to the infernal depths. For Adam it was awesome, but again, still pretty boring from time to time. Of course he had many forms of entertainment: Training or rocking out with Lute and his girls the Exorcists, spending time with Emily and teaching her about the outside cosmos, and another one was a little favorite pastime as the elevator dinged. He snapped his fingers and summoned a plate of ribs and sun tea, her favorite.
"SUP SERA~~! Got ya favorite ribs." Adam proclaimed, surprising the Seraphim with his sudden appearance, multiple eyes appearing around her body in shock.
"Adam! Must you be so loud? I just put Cherru to sleep." Sera muttered, shaking her head and gesturing to the sleeping Cherub dog on a bed in the corner.
"And ribs? Again, Adam, we talked about this."
"Oh cool your Halo, it's my breakfast and I'm starving after a holy hangover." Adam shrugged off her concern by handing her tea, setting his plate on his lap and digging in.
"Adam, you need to be serious. You can't be slacking off, especially today of all days."
"Sera, Babe. I got this. We're gonna rock their asses!" Adam shrugged off her concern with a rock on hand sign.
"Adam!"
"Right, right. Whatever, have some faith in me, I haven't failed yet." Adam said.
"YET, Adam. The last thing we need are these exterminations getting out of hand and for all of Heaven to know." Sera said, leaning from her desk.
"Yeah, yeah." Adam muttered as he chewed through his ribs.
"Another matter, please try and stay within the Pride Ring. I got a little complaint from a certain Wrath Prince that a certain someone and his lieutenant murdered a bunch of Imps in an Imp City." Sera stated with a cocked eyebrow, making Adam chuckle nervously.
"So I got a little carried away last year, no biggie." Sera stared at the man turned angel with a stoic expression for a few moments, getting her point across, as Adam sighed in defeat.
"Fine~~~! I won't leave the Pride Ring and only kill the sinner and demonborne there." Adam promises, finishing the last of his ribs.
"And do try to be discreet, Adam. This time of year you always nearly blurt out the exterminations. Going on about how, and I quote, 'F them B's up'"
"Sera, Emily is not in the room, you can swear we're both adults." Adam rolled his eyes, annoyed by Sera's prudish attitude, but that was a given for most angels. Aside from his Exorcists, most Angels don't swear. Hell as far as he knows Emily doesn't even know about them, which was both hilarious and kind of sad.
"Sometimes I find that hard to believe for one of us."
"HA! Love it when you crack a joke." Adam cackled at her burn, even if it was at his own expense, it proved this prude could have a BIT of fun. A ring caught his attention, looking down at his wrist to see what time it was.
"Woah, look at the time, Babe. Gotta go, those Sinners won't kill themselves…well actually they might, but that's not nearly as fun." Adam said, standing from his chair and snapping his fingers, making the plate of ribs disappear.
"Ada-!"
"I know, I know the meeting barely started. I'll make it up with paperwork that I probably won't do…..probably forget about it too. Now just as I love watching you do it, you get to watch my sexy ass walk away." Adam snickered, already imagining Sera's blush, followed by a heavy sigh.
"Please…..just be discreet."
"Sera, Baby, I'm the MAN of Discreet."
(HIF)
"WHOSE READY TO FUCK THEM SINNERS UP?!"
"YEAH!" Adam's Exorcists roared and cheered, standing at the edge of Heaven's Gates adorned in his battle robe, which was really just his normal robe but darker and had a few spikes around his collar and arms.
"Remember girls! Don't show mercy for those fucking sinners!"
"No MERCY!" Lute roared, eliciting a smile from Adam, god he loved it when Lute got like this.
"We're gonna go and exterminate demon ass!" Adam declared.
"YEAH!"
"Destroy that ass!" Lute chanted.
"Yeah, that's my girl, don't spare a single one of those cunts." Adam growled.
"Yeah! Rip their cunt mouths out of their ass!"
Wait what?
"Wait what? Damn, Lutey…..Loving the energy here though." Adam said with a wicked grin.
"Now remember: Stick it to the King of Hell!" Adam declared summoning a golden Axtar.
"YEAAHHHH!"
"Now…AAATTTTAACCCKKKK~~~!" Adam summoned a golden pick, slamming it to the strings of his ax, signaling the attack.
And just like that, Extermination Day had begun, his army of Exorcists raining down from the heavens to the infernal pit. Adam's smile grew as he flew into the air, growling as he glared down into the ring of Pride.
"I hope your watching, you prideful, slithery little fuck." With that, Adam flew down after his army, and so began the massacres of sinners and demons.
(HIF)
"Fuck yeah! Good job girls! You were crazy, you were badass, fucking amazing bitches." Adam cheered as he and his army returned to their own personal headquarters outside the golden cities. The clock had struck and so ended Extermination Day, and now they were covered in demon blood. Of course many fought back like gangsters and even a few cocky Overlords. They never stood a chance against Adam of course, he's the Fucking Man.
"Fuck yeah!" Lute cheered, blood dripping down her arms.
"Now enjoy the rest of your…hmm, hold up." Adam states, catching everyone's attention. He then began muttering and counting heads, confusing the army of deadly femme fatales.
"Two hundred and six….Hey, we're missin' one sexy ass here, who's not here? Sound off." Adam didn't really care for being punctual like Sera, but when it came to his demon killing slayer bitches he took pride in knowing who was who and how many he had.
"Sachi's not here, Sir. She probably went to the bathroom, weak bladder." One of the girls stated, a few chuckling as Adam shook his head.
"Alright, well tell her good job when ya see her. Go fill out your scores, and have fun at the beach. Got the rest of the year off!" The girls cheered as they began to hit the showers, Lute taking off her helmet, turning around to see Adam walking away.
"Sir, are you not joining us?" Lute asked, knowing that the commander would not miss a chance to shower with the girls, nor would most of them.
"Oh, Lutey, as hot as that would be. I gotta meet with Sera and give her some good news. I'll meet y'all at the beach later." Adam ruffled her hair before taking his leave. Just as he was about to enter Heaven, he took one last look at the portal that led to the infernal pits of Hell, to the Ring of Pride.
"Hope you like the show, Lucifer. I'll be back for an encore." Adam spat at the pit, flying around and reporting to Sera about this recent extermination. A week later, the Exorcist Angels were partying at the beaches of Paradise, the golden waves crashing onto the sand. Many were tossing beach balls or just dancing to music, with Adam in the center of it all. He relaxed on a lounge chair, slurping on a martini, and Lute sitting on his lap resting.
"Ah~~ This is the life, Lute. Just us, the girls, having the best job of exterminating those infernal bastards and enjoying the rest of the year off." Adam sighed in contempt, resting his hands behind his head.
"Mmmm, yep." Lute muttered, resting her head in Adam's chest.
"Nothing could ruin this day."
"Hi Adam! I hope I'm not interrupting?" Adam popped an eye open, looking over to see Emily standing at his right.
"Emipie! You can't ruin anything with that beautiful smile of yours, come to join the party? Also did you hear anything before that?"
"What?! I can't hear over this music!" Emily exclaimed, gesturing to the angels dancing.
"Oh thank God!"
"What?!"
"I sai-Hold on." With a snap of his fingers, the music stopped making some of the girls groan, turning to see Emily placing her hands together as Adam sat up.
"Better, now I don't mean to interrupt but Sera has requested for your appearance. It's very important."
"God Dammmmmmush. Whatever, alright fine." Picking up Lute he set her back on his chair and grabbed Emily, sitting her beside Lute.
"Have fun with Lutey and the girls, Emily. Girls, be nice to Emily. She's technically your boss. BRB." With that Adam flew away to the city, Emily eyes growing wider as she looked at the watcher angels around her, she forgot these were all also watcher angels due to their black halos.
"So….what were you all doing?" Meanwhile, Adam arrived at Sera's office, seeing the Seraphim sitting at her desk with a small frown. Which wasn't new, but he did notice her holding a strange envelope.
"Sup Sera, already bored without my epic presence." Adam growled, sitting in front of the High Seraphim.
"Adam, this is important. I need you to focus for what I'm about to show you…might upset you." Sera began, holding up an envelope.
"Listen, if JC can't make it to the party tonight, no big deal. He can make up for it at the zoo tomorr-."
"Adam, this is a letter from Hell." Sera stated, holding out the letter to the first man.
"Oh cool, what do we now accept formal complaints from Hell? Who cares if some drug addict got mur-!"
"Adam, look." Sera said. Adam rolled his eyes and yanked the letter from her hands, and before he even read it he instantly saw the sigil.
Lucifer's sigil.
"..."
"...Ad-!"
"Fuck him."
"Adam-!"
"No fuck that guy, fuck his kingdom,and fuck his letters if you think I'm gonna read that little shits flowery words. Besides, why don't you hand this over to Michael or Uriel? I bet they rather deal with their fallen shithead of a brother.." Adam growled, which was met with Sera's stern gaze.
"This isn't from Lucifer and it is addressed to you." Adam cocked an eyebrow from under his helm, looking at the letter. Rolling his eyes, the first man lifted the paper and began reading it.
"Dear Angels of Heaven, I have requested that my father send this letter to reach the one who leads the exterminators during Extermination Day. I wish to speak with them in hopes that we can solve the overpopulation problem in Hell. Signed, the Princess of Hell…..Charlie Morningstar."
Princess….of Hell…Morningstar.
His Princess.
HER princess of Hell.
"So…..their little fucking princess wants an audience with me? To solve some stupid overpopulation problem Hell has? This honestly smells like a trap." Adam grumbled as he tossed the paper away. Like he was even gonna entertain Lucifer's hellspawn.
"Yes, but I for one would like to hear what she has to offer. So I set up a meeting between you and her tomorrow." Sera said, Adam's eyes bulging out of his mask.
"FUCKEN WHAT?! Sera no, you cannot entertain Lucifer or even his kid for a moment!" Adam slammed his fists on her desk, glaring at the older angelic being. Sera let out a heavy sigh, standing from her chair staring down at Adam.
"Adam, I know I'm asking a lot because of your personal vendetta with Lucifer and Hell itself." Sera said with a small knowing look in her eyes.
"Pff-Wha? I don't have a vendetta, I'm doing the cosmos a favor in case those guys ever rebel again. We don't ANOTHER uprising like the last one from Lucifer." Adam explained, stiffening as Sera took his hands in her.
"Perhaps, but if there is a chance we can end this constant feud, and if there is a chance….we should take it. I believe this is the Will of Higher One, a new test, one he wants YOU to embark on. His First Man, his greatest creation, to hopefully bridge a peace between Heaven and Hell." Sera finished, clasping her hands over Adam's. The first man stared at the Seraphim, feeling she was just trying to get on his good side, but she also knew that…..he'd do anything just to speak with the Higher One again.
"...Dammit, Sera. Gah, fine. Fine. FINE. I'll speak with the Princess tomorrow….but if she fucking bores me I'm out." Adam relented with an annoyed huff, Sera smiling softly and leaning down to kiss his forehead.
"Thank you, Adam. I believe this will be a good step in the right direction."
"...I think a GREAT step in the right direction is another kiss?"
"No."
"Worth a try. Alright gonna go make sure Lutey and the girls aren't bullying Emily." With that Adam left the room, heading off to inform Lute. If he had to endure this crap he would at least like his right hand at his side. After finding Emily buried neck deep in the sand and pulling her out, he informed Lute to be ready.
(HIF)
"..."
"..."
"..."
"...Si-!"
"Fuck this is so boring."
"Well you did request for the lights to be off." Lute noted, gesturing to the dark room they were in, Adam relaxing while Lute stood beside him.
"Well yeah, it's gonna be hilarious to see the look of surprise on her face when she walks in the dark here...I think it's a great idea." Adam chuckled to himself.
"Good idea, Sir."
"You can be honest with me, Lute."
"...It's not your best idea, Sir." Lute admitted.
"Harsh, but fair ya judgmental bitch. Alright, when the Hell is she gonna be here? I wanna try out my new nickname."
"A new one, Sir? Did Managem not work out?"
"Eh, too much work to say, so I'm going with this next one: Dickmaster~~!" Adam wiggled his eyebrows and threw his hands out for dramatic effect.
"Let's see if she's outside, Sir." Lute held up an angelic remote, activating several security cameras that displayed what went on outside the Heavenly Embassy Tower.
"Ugh, gross. Two homeless hermits are screwing on the side, that is not what I needed to see." Adam gagged, shoving the camera aside.
"I believe that is her, Sir." Lute stated, gesturing to the woman in a suit making their way to the embassy….dancing and singing?
"Did she just get sprayed in the face with blood because cannibals are eating someone?"
"Yes she did, Sir."
"God I hate this place." Adam grumbled as they watched this Charlie girl walk into the Embassy. He didn't get a good look due to the camera's distance but they could hear her.
"Why she calling this place creepy? Was she blind folded on her way here, I can literally see someone getting their dick sucked in an alleyway. Like I get exhibitionism, but like be a little discreet…Oh, I get what Sera meant now." Adam nodded his head in understanding, just as the doors slid open.
"Um…Hello?" Charlie Morningstar, daughter of Lucifer and Lilith, and the Princess of Hell walked into the room only to be met with darkness.
"Anyone here?"
"Sup." With a snap of his fingers, the lights went on.
"OH SHIT!" Charlie's body went falling to the ground in shock, much to Adam's amusement.
"Worth it." Adam said as Charlie sat up. Getting a good look at her, Adam could see the resemblance in Lucifer: Rosy cheeks, pale white skin, and she even wore a suit like her old man. Well, from what Adam remembered the King of Hell liked to wear some sort of circus getup. He didn't really care.
"Oh hi. I'm Charlie, my Dad asked me if I could meet you."
"Mmhmm, yeah nothing better than getting an audience with the daughter of your mortal enemy."
"What?"
"Nothing, Nice to-not-meet ya. I'm starving." Adam smirked as he sat back in his chair, snapping his fingers, a silver platter appearing in front of him.
"Okay…well, it's nice to meet you!' Charlie said with a smile, attempting to make her way over to shake his hand, stopping once Lute summoned her spear and aimed it at the girls throat.
"That is far enough, Hellborne." Adam chuckled as he lowered the spear, Lute glaring at the princess.
"Easy, Lutey. Don't take it personal, Princess, it's not that we don't trust you-!"
"Which we don't." Lute added.
"We just that…..we don't trust you."
"Which is true."
"Anyway, hungry?" Adam asked, offering a plate of ribs.
"Um, no I'm good."
"Pff, whatevs. You're missing out on ribs made by yours truly." Adam waved her off, offering Lute one, which she took as Charlie cleared her throat.
"Right~! So I'm happy we got this opportunity to meet." Charlie said, hoping to get this back on track, and hopefully get this Angel's support.
"Well that makes one of us."
"There's a project I've been working on that I really wanna talk to you about." Charlie said, her eyes radiating pure excitement.
"Well, that's why I'm here, but where are my manners? I'm Adam, Commander of the Exorcists AKA the Watchers of Heaven's Gates, the original dick himself, and Heaven's Biggest Celebrity….okay, next to JC but that's hard to beat. The guy's so much fun to hang out with, completely chill, and he can hit a killer beat with the drums. Anyways this is my right hand woman, overall badass lieutenant Lute." Adam went on, Charlie's eyes widened in realization when she heard his name.
"Wait, your name is Adam? The Adam?"
"So nice you say it twice."
"Like the First Man, Adam? That means yo….OH~~~!" Charlie gasped in shock, leaning back in her chair, Adam's cocking his eyebrow in confusion as she physically cringed.
"That explains so much."
"Explain what exactly?" Adam asked, a small glare in his eyes, Lute summoning her spear again.
"Um, nothing."
"No, No. Go ahead explain how it makes sense to whatever you were thinking of, you're off to a great start on selling me this idea that you haven't even presented yet." Adam growled, leaning forward as he ate another rib. Hoping not to enrage the two exterminating angels any longer, Charlie cleared her throat and forced another smile.
"W-Well, Mr. Adam, Sir."
"Mr? I'm only a few eons old, but my name is reserved for hotties like Sera, Lady Emily, Lutey here and my girls. You, Princess, can call me: Dickmaster." Adam snapped his fingers and the word 'Dickmaster' appeared over his head in golden light.
"...Adam-"
"The caucacity of this bitch." Adam whispered to Lute who shook her head in agreement.
"You seem like a smar-Well, stand up guy."
"Uh…Huh." Adam didn't miss her correction, so this little smug bitch thought he was dumb huh? Well, she's off to a good start on convincing him about her new idea.
"And I know you are the heads of the Angels."
"Eh, more like middle management. The Seraphim and certain Archangels are my bosses and well….you know who bosses them." Adam explained.
"A big thinker! A revolutionary! A genius!"
"I mean….I did invent most things in and out of Eden, so you got me there." Adam didn't like this little shit one bit, but he wasn't gonna miss some casual ego stroking, even from the lowest sinner of them all. Plus he could only imagine the look on her Dad's face if he ever heard this stuff.
"Who I bet he would really put his name on something." Charlie added.
"I do that all in Heaven, mostly with guitars, Lutey and the girls asses, haven't gotten Sera or Emily but there's a chance."
"And it's the solution to our biggest problem!" Charlie finished, throwing her arms in the air.
"..."
"..."
"...Which is what again?" Adam asked in confusion, ignoring Charlie's shocked face.
"I believe it was in the letter Sera gave you, Sir." Lute whispered, gesturing to it in his robes pocket. Adam reached into his pocket and pulled out the letter, giving it a look over before nodding his head in remembrance.
"Oh~~~~~~~~! Right, right, right. I remember now, the overpopulation problem."
"Right, yes that!" Charlie nodded her head eagerly.
"I mean….we already got it handled, Extermination Day baby! Going down once a year and killing the lot of you for a whole day? That's fucken great." Adam tossed the paper aside, ignoring Charlie's shocked gaze.
"And we're great at it, check this out: Lute, how many Sinners did you kill this year alone?"
"Got a good two seventy-five this year, three included Overlords, Sir." Lute stated, walking up with her hands behind her back.
"Two Seventy-Five, three of them Overlords, and that's just one of my girls. Of course Lute's my special badass, ain't that right Dangertits!" Adam held his fist up, Lute returning the fistbump.
"Uh, no! Not awesome! Those are my people, you know that…..right?"
"Mmhm, mmhm, mmhm." Adam hummed, shaking his head before suddenly searching his robes. Followed by searching under the table, the ceilings, his chair, the action confusing Charlie.
"Uh, what are you doing?" Charlie asked.
"Oh. I'm looking for any fucks to give, but I can't find a single one!" Adam laughed, high fiving Lute.
"Hahaha-I mean-hahah-no offense Charkmie-!"
"Charlie."
"Oh sucks when someone doesn't use the name they give you huh? Anyways no offense, not that I care, but no one down here is what you would consider a 'Good Samaritan'. Hell, I wouldn't even call them a bad Samaritan considering what these people do here." Adam explained, chewing down on a rib.
"But these are souls. Human Souls. Just the same as the ones you have up in Heaven." Charlie argued.
"Except down here they do drugs, rape, molestation, prostitution, even more drugs, cannibalism, terrorism, murder, did I mentioned drugs? Pedophilia, Necrophilia, again I really feel like we should go back to the drug bit." Adam listed, just as Lute stepped up.
"They are not the same, Hellborne, they had their chance and they earned Damnation." Lute stated. She for one couldn't stand the sight of this creature, and not even for a second entertain it like her boss does. Of course if she had the choice this little Princess' head would be hurled out into the streets to be eaten by the demons she so desperately is trying to defend.
"You're wrong. Sinners make mistakes, sure, but people make mistakes." Charlie argued.
"Yeah….there's a difference between kicking a puppy on accident, regretting it, helping it…and kicking that puppy, enjoying it, and then proceeding to skin that puppy." Adam explained.
"Okay, that's a strawman!" Charlie exclaimed, glaring at the angel.
"Oh really? Okay, here's a better example: Lute, how many rapists, murderers, and drug addicts are up in Heaven?" Adam asked, turning to his Lieutenant.
"According to the obvious meter: Zero." Lute stated, holding up her middle finger, glaring at the Princess.
"Nice. Now how many are in Hell?"
"All of them."
"All of them. Did ya hear that, Princess? All of the worst of the worst is down here. That makes a lot of sense to me." Adam shrugged his shoulders, going to take another bite of his ribs.
"And let's be honest with ourselves, those heathens deserve oblivion. In fact, as far as I am concerned, all of you Hellborne do. The only reason you're still here is because Daddy gave you and your Hellborne kind outside the Pride Ring a pardon from an exorcist blade. How does that feel?" Lute asked, walking up and glaring into Charlie's hellish soul.
"To know. How little. You. Matter."
"Damn, Lutey, I should call an ambulance on that murder you just committed." Adam joked as he finished the last of his meal, leaning back in his chair, Lute joining back at his side.
"Okay, so I have yet to be convinced of this 'answer' you have for this so-called problem. So chop chop." Adam snapped his fingers, making his plate disappear, as Charlie stared at the two angels. The Princess of Hell took a deep breath, pushing in those whispering voices of doubts that reminded her so much of her parents and so many demons that doubted her.
"Right. Well you both have been very vocal about your opinion on whether a sinner can be saved but I believe that is far from the gospel truth, and I feel like you weren't hearing me before so here it goes."
"Yeah….I'm gonna be honest here Lutey I've been tuning her out since she got here." Adam whispered to Lute, who shook her head in agreement.
"I know Hell's population is out of control, it's a bad situation, it's taking a toll~~!"
"Are you rhyming? Is she singing while presenting her idea?" Adam asked, looking at Lute like this chick just grew a second head.
"But if we rehab these sinners and cleanse all of their souls at my Hazbi-I mean, Happy Hotel! Wait I'm getting ahead of myself, I know you guys fly dow-!"
"Woah, woah, woah, woah! Hold on….THIS is your idea?" With a snap of his fingers, golden hands picked up Charlie's paperwork, bringing it in front of Adam. The angel read through the work and his eyes landed on the childish drawing of a 'Hazbin Hotel' which caught his and Lute's attention.
"This…..This is your solution to your overpopulation? A hotel to redeem sinners so they can ascend to Heaven?"
"Well….yes!" Adam and Lute looked at each other, Adam's shoulders shaking a bit before he covered his mouth.
"Heheh-I'm sorry-heheh-Could you give us a moment." Adam snapped his fingers and a golden box appeared around Charlie, shocking and scaring the hellborne.
"PUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHA-SHE THINKS-HAHAHA-THAT SHE CAN-HAHAHAHAHA-REDEEM THEM WITH A HOTEL-BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Adam laughed his ass off, clutching his stomach at the absurdity.
"Ohohohokay, okay, we're good now." Adam released Charlie from the cube, a heavy glare in her eyes.
"I heard all of that you know."
"Oh yeah the cubes aren't soundproof." Adam chuckled, leaning back in his seat.
"Laugh all you want, I truly believe people are worthy of redemption." Charlie stated, standing her ground, despite how casual the two acted around her.
"Oh yeah, so you're redeeming everyone?"
"Yes."
"So that means you'll redeem a nazi?" Adam asked, catching Charlie by surprise.
"I-Uh-N-!"
"What about a murderer? A child murderer? How about a rapist?" Lute asked, leaning on Adam's chair.
"Hell, forget about titles, let's get specific. You're gonna redeem Ivan the Terrible?" Adam asked.
"How about Mary I of England, aka Bloody Mary?" Lute added.
"Genghis Khan? Osama Bin Laden?"
"Emperor Caligula?"
"Vlad the Impaler?"
"Elizabeth Bathory?" Lute asked.
"Fuck it, you gonna redeem Adolf Hit-!"
"OKAY I FUCKING GET IT!" Adam and Lute fistbump as Charlie explodes in Hellfire, it was kind of hot in Adam's opinion. The fires dispersed as Charlie's features returned to normal, taking a deep breath to relax her nerves.
"Look, maybe not EVERYONE deserves to be redeemed, but if there is someone who seeks redemption do they not deserve a chance?" Charlie asked.
"They had their chance, that is the point of the Mortal Life, it's the time to decide eternal paradise or eternal damnation." Lute stated.
"Yeah, and besides if what you said is 'true'…..there hasn't been a single soul that has been redeemed in Hell and entered Heaven." Adam said with a shrug.
"Well what about Mr. Alighieri?"
"You mean Dante? That fucken hack who wrote the fanfic about him going through the rings? That bitch literally just wrote about my journey when I entered Hell to save an angel who was trapped, who will remain anonymous." Adam explained.
"Heard the humans made a game out of that." Lute stated.
"Yeah a few years ago, looks cool but I'm more of a Devil May Cry and Doom kind of guy." Adam said.
"Right~~~." Charlie muttered, crossing her arms.
"Well, kid. Even if there was a SLIM chance someone wanted to be redeemed, it's impossible. So I don't hate to say it, but I..I…..I um…." Adam lost his train of thoughts as he got a good look at Charlie. He saw many features of Lucifer, that short fuck, but just when the Light to the portal of Heaven shined in….he saw it. He saw her. His ex.
Lilith. Her beauty, her once twinkling teasing manner, her curious demeanor to know more, to challenge him when they race across the gardens of Eden.
"I…..Um…..Shit."
"Huh?"
"Sir?" Lute asked, looking at her superior in confusion.
"I mean, uh, yeah it's a shit plan and I don't see it working." Adam shrugged off Lute's concern, looking at Charlie who finally lost her bravado. Her eyes shimmered as tears started forming, and Adam couldn't explain why, but for a swift second he saw his wife, his former lover, right before she was kicked out of Eden.
"...Well…..I think you're wrong." Adam's eyes widened as Charlie wiped her tears away, glaring defiantly at Adam, walking around the table and up to him.
"I think this can work, that sinners will want to be redeemed, and in fact I will redeem someone!" Charlie exclaimed, slamming her fist on the table and cracking it a bit. Lute prepared to summon her spear, but Adam held his hand out stopping his lieutenant, a wide grin on his lips.
"Is that so?"
"Yeah!"
"Alright…willing to bet on it?" Adam asked, leaning forward in his chair, and it took Charlie a moment to realize that Adam towered over her quite easily.
"What?"
"You heard me. You believe you can redeem someone, so why not bet on it? Unless you think you can't." Adam smirked, if Charlie was anything like her dad, it was a strike to her pride, and she would not take it standing.
"...What are your terms?" Charlie asked, eyeing Adam suspiciously.
"Well since you're so confident, let's put a timer on this: You have six months to redeem a sinner. Obviously if you can get them redeemed in that time, not only will you prove us wrong, I will bring you up to Heaven for a talk with the higher ups. Hell, I'll even throw in a bonus and end Extermination Day."
"What? Sir!" Lute exclaimed in shock, but Adam held his hand, silencing her as Charlie gasped in shock.
"Really?!"
"Well if this works, no point in exterminating anymore right?" Adam asked.
"Yes! Oh you won't regr-!"
"Ah, ah, ah. I didn't explain what happens if you lose." Adam cut off, holding up a finger.
"Uh…Okay, what happens if we lose?" Charlie asked, nervously, as Adam leaned down glaring down at her.
"Simple, if you don't redeem someone by the end of the six months, me and every single one of my Exorcists are coming down and erasing all of those sinners off the face of Hell….starting with your hotel."
"Wha-Six months but it was just last week!"
"Bummer I know, but since I'm such a 'stand-up guy' I'm being generous and letting you redeem ONE sinner. I could make it more if you want? How about 666 of them? Goes with motif of Hell if you ask m-"
"N-NO! I…" Charlie took a deep breath, staring up at Adam, a twinkle of defiance in her eyes…..just like her mother.
"Alright. I'll do it."
"Great. Fantastic. Lute and I will be down there tomorrow to inspect this hotel of yours, gives ya plenty of time to clean up and look presentable." Adam stated, confusing Charlie.
"Wait, why don't you come to the Hotel now? You're already here."
"Hmm? Oh! Ha. Right. We're not actually 'here' here." Adam booped Charlie's nose, phasing right through her displaying his holographic body.
"Ya think I was gonna go down there in that gross city. Seriously kid, get this city cleaned up a little bit at the very least. Anywho, see ya tomorrow! Don't fuck up!" With that, Adam ended the call, turning to face a shocked Lute.
"S-Sir-I can't….ending Extermination Day?! Those Sinners don't de-!"
"I know. Relax Lutey. There hasn't been a single redeemed soul since the creation of Hell, why would there be one now?" Adam asked, standing up and making his way out of the room with Lute right behind him. Sometime later, Adam was inside Sera's office, relaying her the meeting with the Princess of Hell.
"Adam?"
"..."
"Adam?!"
"Hmm? Huh?" Adam's head shot up, looking to find himself laying against a tree within the Eden, Sera smiling down at him. Since he had been 'born' he had traveled around the garden with Sera at his side, the Seraphim explaining his role and how things worked. This garden was his 'kingdom' and everything in it was his with the exception of a strange tree in the center. She called it a sort of test by his father, the Creator himself.
"I apologize for waking you, but the Creator has finally decided it is time to begin your duties in tending this grand garden." Sera explained, helping Adam back on his feet.
"My duties?" The First Man asked, dusting himself off.
"Yes, but first there are several individuals I would like to introduce." Sera stated and no sooner did she saw this did six spheres of light appear, taking physical form before Adam's eyes. These beings of pure light stood before Adam, angels with golden halos, most of them save for two wearing white robes with the others adorn in a gold and crimson chestplate.
"Adam, these are the Archangels of Heaven, servants and children of the Creator." Sera explained, gesturing to the Angels. Before Adam could speak, one of the closer ones stepped up, their features as feminine like Sera's.
"Oh, by the Maker, he is quite a handsome fellow. Greetings, Adam, I am Jophiel." Jophiel introduced herself, reaching out and running her hands across Adam's face and chest. The First Man felt his cheeks heat up as the angel inspected him, but his eyes drifted to the larger angel, who wore gold plated armor and held a strange object at his waist. His wings were the largest of the group, they were so beautiful that Adam wanted to reach out and run his hands through the feathers.
"Hello Adam, while you do not know us, we seven have been watching you since the day Father created you. I am Michael, firstborn of Heaven. These are my brothers and sister. Gabriel, Raphael, Uriel, Camael, Jophiel and…Oh no." Michael groaned, catching Adam by surprised but when he said that the first man realized that Michael had said seven when only six of them had appeared.
"Where is-!"
"Sleeping somewhere up in Heaven." The one known as Uriel answered, rubbing his eyes.
"Who?" Adam asked.
"Our other brother, who was supposed to be joining us today but clearly he has other things more important than the creation of Father." Michael explained, turning back to Adam.
"Well then, shall we begin the next stage in your duties, Adam?"
"..."
"Adam?"
"Hmm?" Adam looked over, seeing Sera looking over at him with concern.
"Are you okay? You seemed to have been spacing out."
"Just peachy, I now have to go down into that infernal pit without killing one to a hotel that is trying to redeem sinners with the daughter of the bastard tha ruined my fucking life….So yea, just peachy." Sera sighed, hoping to change the subject from Adam's somber mood.
"...A hotel, you say?" Sera asked as she and Adam stared at the city below.
"Yeah, she believes she can redeem those sinners." Adam grumbled.
"Do you believe she can't?"
"It's like I've always said, Sera." Adam began, turning to face the Seraphim.
"Hell is forever, and it's meant to fucking suck."
(HIF)
AND DONE! Whew, I really enjoyed this first chapter in establishing Adam. Which yes, comparison to the show isn't far off which is the point. We're still dealing with the Dickmaster himself, and he won't completely change attitude, I did wanna add more depth to the literal First Man of humanity that I feel the story didn't dive and just made it 'First man, misogynist, Dick' which would've been fine if not for that moment at the end, where Lute calls out his name and he smiles. There's so much context and fun you can have with that moment that's like 'Yeah I'm gonna make a harem story about this guy and have fun with it' which is why we're here. I should reiterate that I don't think Adam is completely right or wrong in the show, same with Charlie. There's a reason why I listed some of the worst people in human history, like holy shit, but I do like Charlie's storyline of redemption...even if the show doesn't completely focus on it.
I think a main problem I had with the show is that it felt WAY to fast with its storylines, like the pacing felt all over: Oh Lucifer came around and they have an awakward development before bam, problem solved. Oh turns out someone killed an angel which hasn't been done in centuries I guess, oh turns out it was this new person we introduced literally the next episode. Also Heaven for some reason not knowing how souls enter their realm is fucking weird and I don't agree with it. While I had many problems I did enjoy the show, the music was really good, Keith David still shocked me when I heard but I love the guy so I won't complain, episode 4 was the best episode and I feel like that should have been a major focus for the season. I think the oly major problem I really have is...the prologue...I'm with with reiterations and different takes but...I don't ever agree with the 'Lucifer was an okay guy' in any series. I guess because you don't really be a good guy and be the CAUSE for Hell, sorry kind of a fumble of cosmic proportions. And no before anyone ask I'm not changing Lucifer's complete character...but I am diving into the past that is more biblical accurate and explaining why certain characters are the way they are. Also I felt like Vaggie was kind of a nothing character and do wanna work on that. Will I do a good job? probably not but I wanna try.
Basically I liked the show and I wanted to do it in my image and follow the theme of redemption which is a MAJOR arc for many in this story cept Charlie cause she's literally the nicest person in Hell. I am really gonna enjoy writing this story, which I have...the idea of the series planned out. It follows over 3 sagas, with each one separated in either two to three parts? I'm still figuring it out. I know who the main antagonists for each part is, and right now I have most of part one done. Every two chapters will be a two-part arc and the book will be around...well it was gonna be ten but it could be more. At most twelve, idk it's the last arc I'm working on. Should be done working out everything when I post the third chapter. While this story won't be a main focus like TMD (The Marvelous Devil) I am taking a small break just so I can work out any problems or rewrite stuff for the series next arc (If you read that story you'll see what I mean).
Yes this a Adam/Harem pairing, no I'm not telling whose in it have fun with that. This story will be more...slice of life I suppose compared to my TMD/ADJ story, and if you've read my story you see how I usually write. Not that this is out of my element, just that this will be one of the few stories I've written on this site that has focused on an actually character (With a little OOC writing) in a series. I will also have flashbacks every chapter or so depending how long it is, building up to how Adam became the monster he is today and how he can heal, same with Lucifer and the other Sins. The A-Plot will follow Adam's misadventures with the gang, who I will try and focus on in tandem with Adam and or Lute (mainly Adam) building his bond with the hotel. The B-Plot has been introduced and will follow up until the halfway of this story. Heaven will be somewhat involved? Mainly Sera, Emily, and a few characters I'll introduce but they won't be the focus until part two onward. I also need to read more into the lore of the universe cause I forgot the main setting is the 'seven rings' and not the 'nine circles' or that Imp City is in a second circle of the pride ring (In which I'm guessing a circle is just a city or something).
I've made my power scale doc for this series that is roughly based on the series (Hazbin/Helluva) Hell Hierarchy with the addition of Heaven/Spirits but I won't reveal that until later. Yes Helluva Boss characters will be in the story for...hilarious reasons that I won't explore yet. I also changed the rule around to where Sinners and Demons in Pentagram City will be killed by the Angels...Also Adam isn't an angel in the story, and that will be addressed in the fourth chapter. Funny enough while I was writing, Redemption by Three Days Grace inspired me, it just randomly came on and it just worked for the story. Also no I won't doing song segments cause I suck at them, maybe a rewrite later but not right now. And with that I hope everyone enjoys the story, I'll be posting the next chapters later. Slight spoilers for next chapter: Adam and Lute arrive at the hotel and meet the rest of the gang, the past explored, and a new guest at the hotel.
Until next time, Zer0the0mega108 out!