The Founders Awaken

Chapter 6: Talking with Snape

TW for mentions of sexual assault and miscarraige.

The weekend passed in almost a haze for Harry. He spent a large chunk of time curled up in his and Neville's bed, trying to forget. And yet the pain that clenched his stomach every so often would remind him all over again that in his previous life, one of his children had been murdered, before they were even born.

He had hoped, desperately, when his memories and magic returned, that the curse hadn't come with it. He couldn't go on like this. He couldn't go on with the pain, and what the consequences of the pain would be as he got older in this life. The consequences they had realised long in the past.

Neville held him a lot, not that he was complaining, he needed him close. Needed his warmth, his love, his magic. Draco and Luna came and held him, too. And they talked about anything they could think of to try and get his mind off things. But it was tough going. As much as he tried his mind could only think of his children. And that they weren't there with them.

Especially little Gideon.

But it was Monday now, and Harry was getting ready for classes at five o'clock in the morning as the other three tried to stop him.

"Harry, love, you don't need to go to classes today if you don't feel up to it. I'm sure Professor Snape can inform the other teachers that you are unwell and that you are recovering. We'll come up with a reason for him knowing and not Madame Pomfrey. You need to rest," Neville said gently.

"Nev, I need to do something. I can't just lie around all day feeling sorry for myself and thinking about our children, about Gideon. I am never going to feel up to going to class, unless I actually just do it. The contractions are dying down, I only had seven yesterday, I am sure I will manage just fine, today," Harry said desperately as he tied his tie, "I was also thinking that maybe we should just go for it on the ward stones. Do a bit each morning, you know? We need to make the school safe, especially if more students will be arriving soon for the tournament. And it's something to do, right? Something to do," he muttered the last bit.

"Harry, you are still recovering, I really don't think you are up to doing the wards today," Luna said.

"I'm fine," Harry said, almost huffing as he rushed around the room to get his bag ready for the classes he had, "I'll meet you at the ward room," he said, and then he was gone, practically storming down the hall as he tried to get as far away from their rooms as possible.

Of course, a contraction had to rip through him on the way though, and he stopped, leaning against the wall, hand on the flat surface of his stomach as he tried to breathe through the pain. Though his body was shaking too much, tears were filling his eyes against his will, and breathing was difficult when all you wanted to do was scream.

"That's it, Harry, breathe through the pain," a gentle voice said from next to him, one that he knew belonged to Professor Snape.

His breathing became shaky as he tried to get a hold of himself. But soon it was over, and he slumped against the wall, trying desperately to get his mind off everything again.

"Should you really be out at this time of the morning, clearly ready for classes, when you are still recovering?" Professor Snape said softly, concern in his voice, and in his eyes when Harry gathered the courage to look at him.

"I can't just… I can't just lay around all day again remembering. I need to be doing something, anything. So I am going to classes. But first, I am meeting the others at the warding room so that we can start fixing things properly," Harry said as strongly as he could manage, which wasn't much, as he pushed himself off the wall and started making his way to the warding room again.

"And what if you have a contraction in class, or in the Great Hall, or anywhere else around the Castle?" the Professor said as he walked next to Harry.

"Then I will say I have a stomach ache, or pretend it isn't happening," Harry shrugged, "I mean it's not happening, is it? I'm not pregnant, I'm not in labour. My body is just recovering from something I would rather not remember but am forced to remember every day. And I only had seven yesterday, so today should be okay. Right?" he said weakly, "I mean, I love… I love my son, and I want to remember him. But I don't want to remember… especially not like this,"

"I understand, Harry," the Professor whispered and Harry looked at him in shock, questions in his eyes that he won't ask because he doesn't want to invade like that.

They arrived at the warding room and Harry let the Professor past the wards on the door so they could talk. He figured now was as good a time as any.

"You're a bearer," Harry said quietly after allowing the man a few moments of looking around the room in awe, causing the man to jump and look at him in shock.

"I am," the man nodded, "How did you know?"

"Your look of understanding the other day gave it away first, then when you just said that you understand. I'm not going to say what I assume happened, not unless you want to talk about it, but it's not hard to miss. I am also rather good at observing people. And throughout the years I have seen, a number of times, you regretting, or even hurting because of the things you have said or done to the students. Or the way you look at us in the classroom when you think no one is looking at you. And, of course, there is the way you've been protecting me, and the other students, since I have arrived. It's not difficult to put together the pieces. But it is hard to understand why you do something that is clearly hurting you, something so against your magical, physical, mental and emotional nature," Harry said.

"There's a lot that goes into it," the Professor said.

"We have time. The others probably won't be here for a while yet. Despite how worried they are about me, they know I need some time away from our home before classes. So, fill me in on everything you can. We are in the process of observing all the classes we attend, and such so that we can work to bring the school back to where it's meant to be. I need to know why the students are being targeted by you, especially when it is so against your very nature to do so. You don't want to hurt us, and yet you do, why?"

"I…" the Professor sighed, "Maybe we should sit,"

Harry nodded and conjured two chairs for them to sit on as they talked, actually grateful for the reprieve as his legs were still a tad shaky.

"First of all, I am a spy, for the Headmaster, against the Dark Lord. Because of this, and how unstable the Dark Lord is mentally, the Headmaster decided it would be a good idea for me to maintain my position by only being nice to the Slytherins, and especially targeting anyone the Dark Lord is directly against, such as you, Neville, the Muggleborns, the half-bloods who were muggle raised, and the so-called blood traitors. Even when the Dark Lord disappeared he wanted me to continue the farce so I could spy on the Death Eaters that didn't go to Azkaban, their children, and report back to him on their activities whilst also keeping in the Death Eater's good books so they don't report me to the Dark Lord when he inevitably returns,

"I suggested, as did Pomona and Filius, that it would be a good idea to have a magically binding part of my contract that stated I had to be kind and fair to all students, no matter what, so that I could protect them, and hopefully keep the Dark Lord off my back about my fairness as he liked me for my power and abilities, and so wouldn't want me to do anything to risk losing those things, and potentially my life along with it. The Headmaster, however, thought that he was too mentally unstable to understand such a thing, and, therefore, actually made it part of my contract that I could only be kind to the Slytherins, but I still had to protect all the students, and the staff, in the school. And he made it magically binding,

"And yes, it hurts my natural bearer magics to do the things I do. But the magic in the contract hurts more if I am not harsh enough by his standards. I have tried, multiple times to get him to change it, I even told him that I am a bearer, perhaps against my better judgement, so he knew how much it was hurting me to be the way he was forcing me to be. I especially tried after what happened with Quirrell since it was then obvious that despite his madness he was smart enough to understand that teachers need to be fair, especially when they have previous experience at that school and some of the students and teachers know their teaching style. So surely he would understand a magically binding clause in my contract that made me change my ways? But the Headmaster still refused, despite the complaints that have been levelled against me by students and parents alike over the years. I actually do write down all of the horrible things I say and do to each student I am forced to target, and then, when they graduate, I send them a letter of apology, explaining everything, including that they can't actually tell anyone due to my position, but it makes me feel a little less terrible, I suppose,

"Before you ask why I signed the contract in the first place, I was twenty when I began teaching here, the youngest there had been in a long time. And other than the contracts for my Masteries I hadn't much experience in those things, so when I read the contract it seemed rather decent to me at the time. The pay wasn't great, but it was fair considering I would be living here for the vast majority of the year, and the mortgage on my parents house was already paid for. And I have been making potions for people on the side. And everything else seemed reasonable. But he had a clause in it that he could make magically binding changes to it at any time he wanted based on my performance. I hadn't talked with the other professors yet so I didn't know that that clause wasn't normal. I signed, with a blood quill, which I thought strange but he made a threat of Azkaban once the war was over and I couldn't risk it. And he added the clause, a day later during the meeting between him and the Heads of House. Pomona and Filius were rather outraged about it, so was I, but he wouldn't change it back. He wouldn't listen. So here I am, being forced to hurt you all and hurting myself in every way, no matter what I do," the Professor said, the depths of his eyes looking both ashamed and hurt in a way that tore into Harry.

"I sense there is more to it than just your contract, especially in regards to myself and certain other students. Why did you hate me?" Harry said gently.

"There is more, but I don't feel like that is truly relevant to the main reason I am the way I am. And I never hated you, Harry, or any of the students that have walked through these halls in my time here as a teacher. You know that I can't,"

"I beg to differ. I'm sorry to pry, sir, but the more we know about how this school is being run, and has been run over the years, the better. I need to know what is going on so that I can help you, and the students. We may very well be able to change the contract for you, but if there is something else hindering your ability to properly teach certain students then we need to know so that we can truly accommodate you, and help you to adjust, alongside the students," Harry said softly, concerned that it was, perhaps, something rather serious.

The man sighed, looking down at his lap and linking his fingers, "I have… mentioned a few times, your father,"

Harry wanted to snort, but he nodded instead, not wanting the man to turn against him and not give him the information he needed about the running of his school. And he felt like at least a lot of it had to do with the school, or things that happened within it.

"Since almost the moment we met he hated me, because I told him I wanted to be in Slytherin. Everything was going well before that moment, I thought maybe Lily and I had made some more friends. But the moment I mentioned that he and Black turned on me. Thought me evil just because of where I wanted to be sorted, and then where I was eventually sorted, although the Hat said I could have been in any of the Houses. But I wanted to make my mother proud, and she was a Slytherin,

"And then the persistent bullying of me began. It was mostly just pranks and name calling the first few years here, them trying to get Lily away from me because Potter had a crush on her and he thought her and I were together or something. We were really just best friends, brother and sister in all but blood. But he couldn't see that. No matter how many times Lily and I told him. But the older we got the worse the pranks got until they weren't mere pranks anymore. In our fifth year, things took a turn for the worse when Potter, in his infinite wisdom decided to start… assaulting me, in front of rather large crowds, his friends joined in, of course, but he was the instigator. They were never punished for anything they did to me, not unless Pomona and Filius were the ones who caught them. They especially weren't punished for that, or when Black almost killed me the following year when he sent me after the werewolf on a full moon night,

"I'm not saying I was perfect during our school years, I did get back at them a fair few times, although no matter what anyone says about me, I was never worse than they were to me. But of course, I would get punished for the few things I did to them. Lily and I's friendship ended at the end of our fifth year, when the Marauders pranked me, in a prank that led to another assault, and she didn't try to stop it despite standing there and watching for a good few minutes. I even saw her smile at one point," the man huffed painfully, "I was scared, angry, frustrated, stressed because of exams, being humiliated in front of thirty students, and so when she finally told Potter to stop, because that was all she ever did really, tell them to stop as if it would work; he was an amazingly talented witch, and yet when her best friend was being hurt, she wouldn't use those skills to help me; I lashed out. I called her a 'Mudblood',

"I didn't mean it, of course. She was my sister, I loved her more than anything else in the world. But I just… she never believed me, when I told her about the assaults. She thought that no Gryffindor could ever do that to someone. They were too good. Too righteous. And then she didn't believe me when I apologised. Because I'm a Slytherin. And when I was in my Common Room, or eating a meal, I would occasionally speak to my Housemates. Or I read about the Dark Arts, and some idiots spread rumours that I was using them on the first years. Which I never did. She wouldn't listen to me when I tried to tell her why I was reading about the Dark Arts. Or when I tried to tell her how I was being treated as a poor Half-blood in my House. But I still loved her. And our friendship was over. I think at some point she actually started to believe Potter when he told her that I was in love with her. Despite the fact that I had actually told her I am gay, and a bearer to boot," the man shook his head sadly.

"Why were you reading about the Dark Arts?" Harry asked gently, trying not to show the pain he was in at the thought of how much his parents had hurt his Professor.

"Partially to try and protect myself within my House. I thought that if they saw me reading it that they would leave me alone, or at least, not hurt me so much. And it worked, partially. Also because I knew that myself and Lily were prime targets for the Death Eaters, and I wanted to be able to truly protect us. I wanted to become truly proficient in Defence, and I thought that the only way to be able to do that would be to learn about the Dark Arts. Learn the correct counter curses, and attempt to make my own if there wasn't one, or a known one at any rate. But also, sometimes a good offence is the best defence. I just… I just wanted to protect us. Protect my mother. Protect the younger students. Protect everyone I could," he trailed off.

Harry nodded in understanding, "And… I hate to ask, to pry into something as painful as this, but I need to know, if you are okay to tell me. Your… What I'm assuming is your miscarriage, when did it happen? Was… Was the father of the child my father? Sirius, another Marauder?"

The Professor's breath hitched, "Which one? I've had three," the man chuckled darkly, shaking his head with a look of self-deprecation, "But… The first one was… The first one was in my fifth year, and… Yes. The other two were after the end of the first part of the war. I started dating someone, and well…"

Harry nodded, heart thumping painfully in his chest, "I had four, myself," he whispered, "Were you allowed any time off work when you had those miscarriages? Or time off school when you had the first one?"

"A day, that day being the day it happened. The first one happened on a Friday night so I was able to hide away for the weekend," the Professor whispered.

"That fucking bastard," Harry practically seethed.

"I'm fine," the Professor said.

"No, you're not," Harry smirked, though there was a sadness in his voice and eyes.

The Professor's lips twitched slightly.

"Do you and your partner both live here? Do you have children? Do any of the other Professors? If so, what accommodations are being made for the families of staff members?"

"Erm, well, my partner and I broke up a couple of months after that last miscarriage. I don't have any children. But he was living with me, a lot of the time. It was in secret, though, because the Headmaster made a rule a while back stating that the partners and children of staff members couldn't live at Hogwarts with them. I think a lot of us do what we can to get around that, so they stay with us most of the time, in secret. But the Headmaster thought it was inappropriate for the students to see that we have families, or a life outside of teaching, and that it made them uncomfortable," the Professor explained.

Harry sighed, shaking his head in annoyance, anger, and sadness.

"Right, well… We have a lot to sort out then," Harry said, "If you… I don't mean to pry, or be weird or anything since I am your student, but if you want to talk about… about the miscarriages, then I am here for you,"

The Professor looked at him in shock for a few seconds as the door opened and the other three rushed in, looking between the two of them in shock and questions in their eyes.

"Likewise," the Professor nodded at him.

Harry nodded back.

"Right, let's get down to business. Feel free to stay, Professor," Harry said, hopping off the chair and rushing over to the stones, standing behind his.

"Are you sure you're okay to be doing this, love?" Neville said gently.

Harry just nodded and the other three stood in their places around the dais.

And they did what they had to do, pouring some of their magic into the wards and strengthening them. Harry trying desperately trying not to think about anything he had just learned.

Hiya, how are you all?

I hope you enjoyed the chapter. What's going to happen next I wonder? Let me know your thoughts on where you think this story is going, or for any potential scenes you want to see, even if it is just a small thing. Only if you want to, of course.

Anywho, I posted an essay/petition where I (un)officially explain why I think I should be cast as my favourite character, Severus Snape, in the new HBO series, despite the fact that I am a woman. It would mean a lot if you went and read it, but no pressure. It isn't going to lead to anything, unless, by some miracle, it goes viral, but it was fun to write. It is on my AO3, Maraudering_Paige. Feel free to go and check it out.

Also, I am working on some Spotify playlists for my fanfics, so if you can think of any songs you think work with the stories as they are so far, or where you think they are going, or songs that give you the vibes you get from the stories, then please do let me know and I will give them a listen, then potentially add them to the playlists. I will let you know as soon as they are ready, though it may take a few weeks because life.

I have a Facebook group called Maraudering_Paige which you are all welcome to join if you would like to and are able to. It is where we can talk about Harry Potter, fanfics, life, share memes and more. It is also where I have somewhat of an update schedule for my fics and will be keeping you up to date on what I am working on, in regards to fanfics, original works, and more things. So if you are interested in joining then I am more than happy to accept you all.

I also now have a TikTok and an Instagram for my fanfic writing escapades. The username is maraudering_paige on both of them so feel free to follow me, and we shall see how often and what kinds of content I can post when I can. But it is another way for me to keep you all up to date if you don't have Facebook and such, and for me to spread the word about other things I am working on and things I want to do and such. So yeah, feel free to join me on those if you are able.

If there are any other platforms you think I should join you all on then let me know and I will have a think.

I hope you are having an amazing day!

Kind regards,

Paige xx