i am so, so sorry for how long this update has taken- i've been lacking motivation for this, and working on some stories I intent on publishing within the year. I will, when I have the time, be rewriting most of the older chapters, seeing as I was thirteen when I started this, and I'd like to think my writing has improved since then. I will try and finish/publish the rest of this story within the month!

And to the readers who have been here for literal years now, and the newer readers, thank you so much for your support! Every comment means a lot to me, so thanks to everyone!

—

This wasn't the first weird experience Winter had had in his life, he'd had plenty. Sure, he didn't remember most of them, but he knew he'd had them. But the current situation was so… ludicrous, he almost couldn't believe it. It was too good to be true, surely Steve recognized that as well?

For the most part, he'd taken it in stride- because would it even matter? When this was over, he'd be back in Hydra's clutches. He wouldn't remember any of this, any of anything. He didn't want to be someone's toy anymore. He was done being someone's toy.

He could finally picture in his mind's eye the faces of his mother, his sister. It hurt. It hurt so much- but he much preferred the pain to not knowing. He didn't want to have to forget this all again- he couldn't.

Steve Rogers: Attention, all SHIELD agents. This is Steve Rogers. You've heard a lot about me over the last few days, some of you were even ordered to hunt me down. But I think it's time you know the truth. SHIELD is not what we thought it was, it's been taken over by HYDRA. Alexander Pierce is their leader. The STRIKE and Insight crew are HYDRA as well. I don't know how many more, but I know they're in the building. They could be standing right next to you. They almost have what they want: absolute control. They shot Nick Fury and it won't end there. If you launch those Helicarriers today, HYDRA will be able to kill anyone that stands in their way, unless we stop them. I know I'm asking a lot, but the price of freedom is high, it always has been, and it's a price I'm willing to pay. And if I'm the only one, then so be it. But I'm willing to bet I'm not. [as Steve finishes his speech]

"Bravo, bravo," Stark said, clapping mockingly.

"Someone made a PowerPoint presentation for that speech, I'll bet my left eyelid." An- Actual- Archer Clint said.

"That's… awfully specific," Banner said hesitantly, staring at the archer.

"What's- powderpoints?" Winter asked, earning more than one resigned sigh.

"It's like," Steve said, gesturing with his hands, "this thing. Yeah. It's a thing."

"Thank you for that very descriptive, useful explanation, Stevie. I completely understand now, you're a real bud."

Steve rolled his eyes. "I know I am."

"Is it a weapon?" Asked Loki.

"Is… what a weapon?" Asked Stark, looking at the god thing with apprehension.

"The powderypond?"

"Okay, that is definitely not what they said." Winter said, giving the god a skeptical look.

"Foolish mortal," Loki scoffed. "I have godly hearing. That's exactly what they said."

"No." Said Stark. "It's not."

"Lies."

Sam Wilson: Did you write that down first, or was it off the top of your head?

"See, even Wilson agrees. It must've been a PowerPoint."

"I do not use PowerPoint to prepare my speeches!" Steve glared at An- Actual- Archer Clint.

"I'm surprised you even know what it is." Natasha snorted, taking a sip of her strawberry smoothie. Where had that even come from?

"Oh please, Stars and Stripes," Stark rolled his eyes. "We all know you have a PowerPoint to go with your little list."

"Tony," said Steve, his voice grave. "Stark Tower is rather high, is it not? Our personal rooms are at least eighty stories. Now, we both know I can easily break the glass of one of those marvelous windows, and throw you out of it."

"Murder isn't very American."

"… Well-," Clint said after a second of silence.

"I said that wrong." Stark groaned. "What I meant- is murder isn't very heroic, is it Stevie? Do you lust for jail?"

Winter choked violently, laughing at his friend's expensense.

Steve groaned, running a hand through his hair. "Just. Shut up." Stark just laughed.

[to Pierce after learning the truth about him]

Councilman Rockwell: You smug son of a bitch.

Councilman Singh: [to the two HYDRA agents enter the room, thinking they are SHIELD agents] Arrest him. [the HYDRA agent points his gun at Singh]

Alexander Pierce: I guess I've got the floor.

"Well, that's not good." Winter said after a second.

"You don't say." Stark grumbled.

Thor waved his massive godly hand, almost knocking his brother off of the couch. "Now, now my friends. I'm sure it'll all be fine, as most things are."

Loki stared at his brother incredulously. "Our home planet was just destroyed by your goth sister and a very large, very angry fiery eyebrow- skeleton."

"Yes? I know, I was there." Thor said pleasantly. Loki vibrated with the sheer rage that only a young god with daddy issues could.

[Rumlow and his men break into the control room, where Agent 13 also is, Rumlow walks over to one of the techs]

Brock Rumlow: Preempt the launch sequence. Send those ships up now. [The tech hesitates visibly.] Is there a problem?

SHIELD Tech: I'm... [the tech shakes his head nervously]

Brock Rumlow: Is there a problem?

SHIELD Tech: I'm sorry, sir. [the tech takes a few nervous breaths before replying] I'm not gonna launch those ships. Captain's orders. [Rumlow points his gun at the tech's head]

Winter grits his teeth. The man looked to be young, couldn't be much older than Steve or he had been when they'd enlisted. He was too young to die, too good to die. As were hundreds, thousands, of other people out there- but Winter could do nothing to help them, he was literally part of the problem.

Would these people- this man- been safer if he had really died that day? Would things have been brighter, the world a little less jaded, without him there? Would Steve ever be able to live with the guilt of him surviving?

It was one thing to mourn the death of your best friend, your brother, and a completely different thing to mourn the monster they had become. Winter wasn't delusioned, even iIm somehow he were to free himself of Hydra and continue living, even if all of his memories came back- he'd never be who he has been. He could never be James Buchanan Barnes.

Brock Rumlow: Move away from your station. [Agent 13 walks over to Rumlow pointing her gun at him]

Winter relaxed slightly, Steve letting out a relieved sigh next to him.

Sharon Carter: Like he said! [suddenly all the SHIELD agents draw their weapons and point them at Rumlow] Captain's orders.

Brock Rumlow: You picked the wrong side, Agent.

Sharon Carter: Depends on where you're standing. [Rumlow drops his gun, but as he does he grabs his knife and cuts Agent 13's arm, leading to the SHIELD agents firing their guns, amidst the bullets, Rumlow manages to release the Helicarriers and runs off]

Steve swore harshly, letting his head fall into his hands. Winter stared at the screen with horror, and he was not alone. Horrified and enraged voices filled the room.

"Hey!" Loki suddenly raised his voice above the others. "Knock it off. Mr. Righteous here will surely figure something out. And even if he doesn't, this is literally the future; you can change it."

The room was silent, everyone staring at the young god with varying levels of shock. Winter ruffed Loki's hair, earning an indignated yelp.