Apples
"Knowledge and fertility."
.
Deidara hissed in pain and disbelief when the sharp edge of a kunai sliced through his shoulder. A rush of excitement had him forgetting the rules and a handful of explosive tags were thrown at the other. Tobi yelped and ran out of the way, just in the nick of time. The thunder of the explosion shook the ground beneath their feet and left his ears ringing. Pleasing as the sensations were, Tobi's shrill voice never failed to be heard from miles away, putting a halt to his euphoria.
"You said no bombs, senpai!" the man sounded like he was on the verge of sobbing, "Cheater! Cheater! Pumpkin eater—Oh! Senpai! My mask looks like a pumpkin! Are you going to eat it too?"
"Shut up and take it like a man, hm!" Deidara grinned widely, absolutely high on the thrill of his art, throwing a rigged kunai at Tobi's head. Despite the graying clouds, the metal didn't fail to glint menacingly under the waves of sky.
Time always seemed to slow within the seconds before an explosion. It left his soul feeling ignited, hammering for freedom and release.
The bomb didn't hit Tobi. Somehow the tall man avoided the ripple of force and heat, evading the detonation seconds before it blew. Deidara bit his lip to stop himself from shouting in outrage.
Tobi did end up tripping over a rock – of fucking course – that sent him toppling to the ground close to Deidara's feet. Tobi scrambled to get up, dodging the aggressive side kick aimed for his head. He retaliated with his own set of kicks, each easily blocked or evaded by the arsonist. While even Deidara could admit close-combat was not his specialty, he still kicked ass. He avoided using his hands. Those babies were for more important things.
They had killed a rogue earlier, a grubby looking guy with yellowing teeth. Deidara stole his clothes so he could finally burn the disgusting kimono he'd been forced to wear. The rogue had carried so many explosive tags, it lead them to believe they were stolen from some village. Deidara hadn't complained. It had been days since he last had a chance to blow anything up, seeing as the small handful of clay he'd been able to bring was for their clay bird. After the bird's life ended, Deidara had been left with nothing. While the tags weren't his clay, he would take what he could get.
Tobi attempted to feign a swing of his kunai, but Deidara saw the slight hesitance, dodging to the left instead of the right. He grabbed the man's wrist and pulled it close to his chest, mercilessly twisting the thick arm and landing Tobi on his back. The pain in this hold would have been excruciating.
It was no wonder Tobi sent a kick his way; it was a surprise that the quick was sharp and flexible enough to hit. The breath left his lungs as a sandaled heel dug into his cheek.
Tobi leapt back, "Ha! Ha! Dei-dei didn't see that coming, did he?"
God, Tobi needed to shut the hell up.
Something dripped down his cheek, lingering between his lips. He didn't have to lick it to know it was blood. While sweat was wet, the rich, red fluid was stickier and warmer. Unlike the other fucked up members of the Akatsuki, possibly excluding the sunshine-and-rainbows Tobi, he didn't get turned on by the sight of blood. Those sick fucks got a kick out of gore, Hidan especially. Who wanted to see the entrails of a person? Some of the insane crap Hidan did for immortality made him want to vomit.
That didn't make him a wuss. Blood was blood and it was meant to be burned. There was nothing like the sight of a body charred and blown to unrecognizable pieces, gone from the world, never to be returned to its natural state ever again.
So lost in thought, and having never really considered Tobi a threat, Deidara failed to move out of the way when the idiot tackled him. He did manage to flip around their positions before his back hit the hard ground, making sure Tobi took all the impact. With the man under him, Deidara sent a fist flying. It was the one raw from the shards of glass and it stung when it hit the side of Tobi's head. His knuckle grazed the edge of the hard mask, slicing through his skin like flesh was water.
He couldn't think about that though, not when he was sending another punch to the man's head. Tobi wasn't shouting for once in his life. He was out of breath when he dodged the next blow; Deidara could feel the broad chest heaving under his palm. Without giving anything anymore thought, he had a tag planted under Tobi's chin, the light paper sticking to the fabric like glue.
Tobi didn't seem to notice, much to Deidara's satisfaction. The idiot whined when Deidara tossed another punch, but it was half-hearted and meant more for distraction. Just as Tobi tried to push him off, Deidara flung back and smirked,
"Katsu!" he didn't have to say it. The tag wasn't his clay, but he could pretend it was.
It was a milder explosion, but knowing there was no way Tobi could have wormed his way out of this one made it all the better.
When the smoke cleared, Tobi was gone. He had vanished into thin air. There were no trees for miles, just rock and boulders. Was Tobi underground?
Deidara immediately tensed. The fuck? How did he always do that? There was no chakra signature anywhere. While he had no bloody Byakugan, he was still a long-range fighter and could sense shinobi from whatever distance they ran off to.
If he was in the same situation a few days ago, he would have expected Tobi to be hiding in fright. Today was a different story. Tobi was waiting, ready to pounce, ready to retaliate. They were sparring – he wouldn't ever get used to saying that, even in his own head – and Tobi wasn't half bad.
Tobi's sword was stuck in the ground somewhere, having been flung from his hands by one of Deidara's kicks. The idiot was actually terrifying when carrying a sword. He had a weird style. Sometimes his swings were controlled and expertly swung, each move so swift Deidara was forced to avoid him altogether. Other times he was wild, stumbling, and useless with the weapon. It was like Tobi couldn't decide if he wanted to be a good swordsman or not.
Deidara didn't understand why Tobi would try to hide his skills, especially when the entire world associated the Akatsuki's insignia with power, and would immediately assume the idiot knew how to fight. What use was it pretending to be a craven and feeble whilst living in a world where the strong preyed on the weak? You'd only lure in more enemies.
He'd come to accept the fact there was more to Tobi than what met the eye. No shit the man was still an idiot. There was no way anyone sane could stand acting like that for even a day. It just left Deidara wondering... what else was Tobi hiding? Why did he even bother keeping it a secret? Did Pein know? Did Zetsu know? Tobi was always hanging off of Zetsu. Those two were close, probably fucking in trees and under potted plants in broad daylight, capturing as much sunlight as Zetsu could swallow.
It took some effort, but he finally brought himself back to the present. Deidara couldn't sense Tobi anywhere, not even underground. He called out, "Stop hiding, hm!"
A voice slurred words into his ear, "Sure thing, senpai."
Heart leaping out from his chest, Deidara violently flinched, "Holy shit!"
"Boo!" Tobi held a kunai at Deidara's throat, the edge pressed lightly against his skin.
While the grip on the weapon was strong, it was also limp and not very threatening. The presence of the metal was far too real though, and Deidara hated how they both knew he lost. Bested in a spar with Tobi. Tobi.
He pushed the blade aside, scowling, "Fine, you win, hm."
Even with his swirly, orange mask, Tobi looked confused, "Uh—you're not mad?"
"No," he lied, "Because you're going to tell me how you do that."
A pause.
"Do what?" Tobi asked, walking around Deidara so he could face him.
Deidara couldn't tell if the man was feigning his ignorance or if it was genuine. Either way, he'd get it out of him, "How do you avoid my bombs? No one experiences my art and walks away unscathed, hm. How the fuck did you... did you not take any damage—not even a scratch? Back then, all these times, just now?"
He was shaking, tan shoulders quivering from so many subtle emotions, he couldn't place them. A hand shot up and gripped his shoulder. It turned out to be his own. He took a few steps back, not wanting Tobi to see how his body wasn't listening to him. Everyone somehow managed to accept the fact that Tobi could vanish, the movements as quick as flash. Not once did they question how he never used hand signs or conscious thought to run away and get away. Successfully. Every. Single. Time.
Deidara watched him, dark clouds hovering over their heads. They weren't far from base and that meant the weather just got gloomier and gloomier as they closed in. The heaviness of the clouds were suffocating.
Tobi hadn't moved much, feet firmly planted on the ground. If he had worn the Akatsuki's cloak, it would have blown with the howling wind, the fabric snapping against the tall figure's body. Except he wasn't wearing it, and now he resembled a statue, a sturdy and dark silhouette unmoving in the gray light.
"Ah... Well...," Tobi's voice carried through the sharp whistle of the wind, "I can phase through attacks and things. Stuff."
"How?" Deidara frowned. Weeks ago, he thought that might have been the case but had shot the idea down. It would have meant Tobi was using an overly complicated jutsu. That, or he was some kind of regenerative glob like Zetsu.
Tobi sounded like he was smiling as he explained, "Things go through me."
"I got that, hm!"
He did, and it was impressive. For someone like Deidara, it would have been such a useful ability. He could use his explosions close range and not have to worry about the repercussions.
"Senpai will learn the how if he's a good boy," Tobi said, walking towards Deidara. The bomber tensed, but the other continued walking past him, "Because if I tell you, I'll be in big, big trouble."
Trouble? Deidara swallowed, throat dry, "By who? Pein?"
"Worse."
"I hate being in the dark, hm," Deidara followed Tobi back to the camp, "You know things. Tell me."
Tobi repeated, "If senpai is a good boy."
"So you do know things," Deidara couldn't believe it, "Is it about the Akatsuki? How do you know? Is it Zetsu who tells you? He's our spy, hm. And you two are close. He's told you secrets, hm."
If Tobi knew shit, then maybe he could help Deidara get the hell out of the organization—without having a crap load of S-Ranked nin hunting him down. What had he been talking about though? Who could possibly be a bigger threat to Tobi than the Akatsuki leader? How could revealing something as insignificant as one's abilities make Tobi scared? A stupid question, seeing as everything made Tobi scared. Though maybe Tobi wasn't going to be in trouble because of another person, but because of something. Like losing a fight. Death. Maybe he didn't trust anyone with that sort of knowledge. Shinobi kept their secrets.
Deidara calmed down. He'd get everything out of Tobi.
Red escaped from the hole of his mask, the tomoe swirling lazily around his pupil.
Deidara was fast asleep in his sleeping roll, his chest rising and falling steadily. If Tobi made the slightest of noise, the man would wake with a set of bombs in his hands. Should the artist be greeted with an enemy or even just Tobi, he'd use his explosives either way. Tobi did what he could to stay quiet and let the man sleep. His mind would have to be buzzing like a bumblebee after the information Tobi had slipped. It would be best for the both of them if the man slept on it.
Let him figure everything out for himself, Tobi thought.
His gaze trailed down Deidara's shoulder, following the dirty skin, and landing on the hand attached to the limb. The sentient mouth was asleep, tongue deep within the palm and hidden behind the closed lips. Dark crusts caked the tan knuckles.
Something within him, something obscure and foreign, yearned to grab a wet cloth and gently wipe away the dried blood. Tobi let the feelings linger for a while, enjoying the innocent desire for what it was. It was becoming harder and harder to remove sentimental emotions. Eventually, Tobi squashed the craving away. While he was willing to accept his connection with the other, he wouldn't let himself soften. Blood and dirt was expected in their line of work.
He closed his eyes, but the red never left. He could see it clear as day; his future was an endless red. Be it a fate filled with peace, war, love, or hate, there would be pools of blood.
Tobi's eyes opened once more when Deidara sat up from his makeshift bed, rubbing his eye and evidently awake. Tobi hadn't made a sound, so odds were Deidara had woken up from nightmares.
"Go back to sleep, senpai," Tobi whispered, "It's not your turn for watch yet."
Deidara didn't say anything, eye a blank slate as he stared down Tobi. He pushed away the blanket, getting to his feet. Tobi waited to see what the man would do next. It was dark and the arsonist would be having a hard time seeing under the cloudy night sky. Neither spoke, Tobi sitting with his back against a large boulder and Deidara standing with nothing behind him.
"I can't sleep, hm," he didn't whisper, "Get up and go to sleep, Tobi."
The man was lying. Deidara had been sleeping earlier, and he didn't have any troubles falling asleep either. It could only mean he had a nightmare and now wouldn't fall back asleep. What would Deidara dream about? What could possibly scare him? He had never met anyone more fearless, not when they had everything to lose.
Tobi didn't remember what nightmares were, only what reality was. He reached out a hand and said, "Please help me, senpai. My legs feel like jelly."
The man rolled a blue eye and slapped Tobi's hand away, choosing to grab him by the scruff of his neck to lift him to his feet. Tobi patted his knees, getting rid of the dirt. Finally, he turned to Deidara, "Okay. I'm ready!"
He grabbed Deidara's elbow and pulled him along, ignoring the startled shout sent his way. Tobi spoke as if nothing was wrong, "We're going to go on a stroll. Maybe there are fireflies out here! They're all over Fire Country. Oooh, senpai, senpai! I heard one of the trails around here has strawberry bushes. Or was it apple trees? "
"The hell, Tobi? It's the middle of the night—and how in Kami's name do you confuse strawberry bushes for apple trees – let go of me," Deidara shouldered him but Tobi didn't let go.
He patted the man's arm, "You can't sleep, I can't sleep, so why waste time here? Maybe we should just pack up and get to base earlier..."
They had set up camp at the country's border, a day away from reaching Amegakure, where Pein was now located.
Deidara sighed, "That's not a half-witted idea, for once. Fine, hm. And let go!"
.
It was a few hours later when Deidara popped the question, "Hey Tobi? What do you look like?"
He didn't know how to feel about Deidara's questioning. Was this a step in the right direction? Or would this make everything worse? Tobi did know it was something that he'd seen coming. He responded easily enough, "Good question, senpai. Hm, I have black hair."
Deidara sounded like he was struggling to be polite, "Okay. What else? I can see your hair, hm."
He didn't have to see Deidara's expression to know the man was frustrated.
"That's not fair, senpai. How come you get to ask questions and not me?" he pouted, mouth hidden under the mask, "I'll answer only if you answer mine."
Deidara brushed his tangled hair away from his face, "Deal, hm. First answer my question properly."
The sun was rising; it was dawn. Tobi turned his head to face Deidara, "I have scars."
A vivid blue eye stared deep into his mask hole, as if it would somehow reveal his skin. Deidara nodded, a bit shaky, "Cool, hm."
There was no harm in revealing that, Tobi told himself. It was better this way. Even if Deidara did share the information with anybody, it would encourage them to assume he hid his face because he was embarrassed of his disfigurement, and not for other reasons. He wondered what Deidara was thinking. He was likely trying to visualize the scars. Did they resemble Kakashi Hatake's scar? He would be thinking. Or would they be burns? Were they stitched up? Was Tobi hideous?
Deidara's curiousity was down-right endearing.
A hesitant voice drifted into his thoughts,
" ...Anything else you want to share?"
Yes. Everything.
Tobi scratched the back of his head, "I forget."
"What do you mean?"
"I don't remember what I look like."
Deidara stopped walking. His expression was one of confusion, "You're not serious, hm."
It was the truth. He had become his mask. Tobi didn't see any reason to care about his appearance, nor could he risk taking off his mask in the light. He couldn't handle seeing Obito. He didn't want to know the face under the orange.
Fingers touching the swirly, orange mask, he said simply, "Tobi's face is this."
They walked in silence, but not for long. They stopped when they came across an apple tree. Deidara hadn't eaten anything since before their spar yesterday and would have been starving, without a doubt. He picked the reddest, juiciest looking one he could reach, handing it over to Deidara. The man took it without a word, using a water jutsu he often used to wet his clay on his apple.
"Guess it wasn't strawberries... " Muttering, Tobi picked one for himself, holding it in his left hand. He nudged Deidara, "So."
"So, what? Hm," Deidara bit into his apple, chewing loudly. They sat down on some logs.
"It's my turn to ask a question, and you have to answer truthfully, senpai," Tobi said. He stretched his feet out, wondering what he would ask first.
He should start of easy and warm Deidara into it. There was little point in asking Deidara about his history. It was his duty to look into every Akatsuki member, to learn their background and their weaknesses. Despite having all of Deidara's cards on the table, piecing together the man was something far from his reach. It was as if the bomber had a million and one branches, each with a million vines, and each vine with its own leaves.
Deidara was quiet, eating his fruit and staring at a flower sprouting from the ground. Tobi took his silence for a yes.
He asked Deidara, "Have you ever fallen in love?"
"Only with my art, hm," Deidara shrugged, "Why'd you ask? You crushing on some girl? Hm."
Relief flooded through him. At least there was no one else. But this also meant Deidara didn't feel anything romantic towards Tobi, not that this surprised him. It was sickening to have it confirmed, anyways. Tobi tossed the apple to the ground, watching it roll across the damp grass. The clouds had cleared earlier, but only after an hour of rain. The sunrise bled through the clouds.
Tobi frowned, "Is that really the question you want to ask, senpai?"
"Look," Deidara finished chewing, "I want to know everything, but you won't tell me anything."
"I have an idea!" Tobi said, wiggling his feet. They wouldn't get anywhere if Deidara asked things he couldn't answer. He continued, "I'll ask you a question and we both answer. This way Tobi can reveal the secrets of his choosing."
Deidara nodded, understanding, "Okay, hm."
"What's senpai's biggest regret?" Tobi reached down and picked the yellow flower in front of his feet.
"I don't have many, hm," he replied, "Everything I've done has made me as strong as I am today. Hell, I don't regret challenging Itachi the day the Akatsuki recruited me, hm. Why? Because now I've found a way to counter genjutsu. What I'm going to tell you... I swear if you tell another soul, I'll rip your heart out, hm."
Deidara paused, and Tobi's heart beat in his chest. Deidara was opening up to him. He struggled to regain control of his pulse. It was strange how he was recalling all the insignificant details which were never really insignificant. Such as how the artist's head would dip ever-so-slightly, in the slightest of hint of a nod, every time his grunt surfaced.
"When I was younger, I was well-known in my village, hm. I was rowdy, but the kids didn't mind. They looked up to me," Deidara continued, sounding terribly proud of himself, "I made the greatest art, hm. My sculptures were masterpieces and my explosions louder than thunder. It was a matter of putting them together. By doing so, I betrayed the village, hm. I left the kids too. They were like the little brothers and sisters I never had. My biggest regret was leaving them without saying a proper goodbye."
The vision of a younger version of Deidara running around with even younger children was charming. Tobi wondered aloud, "Do you want to see them again, senpai?"
He could make it happen, if that's what Deidara wanted.
Deidara sighed, "No, hm. The past is the past. You can only think about the present, hm."
"Not the future?" Tobi asked, twirling the flower between his gloved fingers, very interested in Deidara's response.
"Not the future," he confirmed, "The future is beyond our reach, hm. Sasori no danna went on and on about living forever; when he opened his mouth, everything that spilled out was about that kinda crap, hm. 'We're wasting time' he'd say. You can't waste time if you don't worry about what comes next, hm. Anyways, your turn."
I see.
Tobi chose his words carefully, "Tobi regrets his old life, when he had friends and people who loved him, people he could love back. Bad things happened and now he wishes he wasn't so scared to feel like that again."
He was remembering Obito, the boy who wanted to be Hokage. Rin. Kakashi. Minato.
"What are you scared of?" Deidara frowned, "Losing people you care about? If that's the case, you're going to have to come to terms with the fact that life is short. The best things are fleeting, hm. We all die, sooner or later. Accept that and you won't be so scared anymore. And when you're scared of having a passion for someone, something, then you're missing out, hm. There's nothing I hate more than someone who can't express themselves, someone who has no emotion."
When Deidara looked in his direction, Tobi could forget about everything and remember everything else in an instant. It was driving him mad. He took in the words said to him, understanding where they were coming from, but unable to accept them. Life was all there was. Once you died, there was nothing waiting for you, nobody there to welcome you in the afterlife. There was only nothingness after death, and it was eternal.
Diving into his passion for Deidara wouldn't give him happiness, just as avoiding it wouldn't give him anything either. He would be left with nothing, in the end.
If worrying about the future lead to feelings like this, perhaps Deidara was right. Thinking about the present, how he was sitting beside his light, each learning about the other, opening doors that weren't there before, was more than he could ever hope for. Tobi stopped thinking about what would come next, put a halt on his thoughts for a few minutes, so he could drown in the pleasant pool of emotions rising deep in his chest.
They didn't ask each other anymore questions, getting into the familiar routine of bickering as they made their way back to Amegakure.
He wouldn't change for Deidara; he couldn't. Obito was long gone and nobody was left but Tobi. Tobi, who was learning to love an insane man with a death wish.
The irony of the situation wasn't lost on him. He had dedicated the greater half of his life to the creation of an emotionless mask, all in efforts to avenge the death of Obito's loved one and bring eternal peace to a new world. Now here he was, an emotionless mask feeling emotions for a man who loved destruction and endings.
Where had these feelings even sprung from? It was so sudden, something one would expect to find out of Deidara. The arsonist was explosive, bursting from one feeling to another without prior warning. Tobi wasn't like that. It had to have been a gradual build-up, so why did it feel like everything was moving so fast?
Yet looking at Deidara and seeing the expressions which lit up his dim world, feeling every raw wave of passion emitting from him, hearing every breath of life escape his frail, human body... time seemed to slow and rush by all at once.
.
Tobi shifted to Pein's location, the teleportation technique coming as easy to him as one knew how to breathe. Akatsuki's recognized leader stood with Konan atop a tower looming high somewhere in the depths of Amegakure. The endless rain gave the village its name, something somber to add to its loneliness. It was always a pleasure returning here. Pein stood several paces ahead of him, staring out into the distance, hair dripping wet. Konan was next to him, as dry as he expected. It was in her nature to detest water. His two soldiers were excellent, yet they did not immediately feel his presence. He did not want them to be aware, so they weren't. Upholding the image of darkness and mystery had its benefits. The less known about another, the more there was to fear. People feared the unknown.
It wasn't Tobi who spoke, but Madara, "The mission was successfully completed."
Pein didn't flinch, instead slowly turning his head, chin over his shoulder, "Tobi."
"You know why I'm here."
"Our focus has been on solely shinobi," the pair of Rinnegan moved to gaze at Konan before they landed on him, "The Land of Iron remains a neutral party. In time they will be forced to make a decision, or none at all."
Pein let him mull things over. The Rinnegan host had kept an eye on their activity. Approaching the war, Lord Uesugi would have voted for an alliance with the enemy and proven to be an unnecessary hindrance. Even so, it would take a single S-Raked nin to wipe each and every last one of them from existence, if enough strategic measures were put into place.
"A waste of time. What was your reasoning for sending two of the loudest members we have on a stealth mission?" he asked.
"Training," was the immediate reply, "He needs to learn how to rein in his temper, should there come a situation that calls for it. Unlike some of our other subordinates, he isn't a lost cause."
Deidara wouldn't ever learn to 'rein in his temper'. You couldn't reign in an explosion, only prevent it from happening or deal with the mess it left behind. A bitter taste festered in his mouth, the tang brought by Pein's words. Wanting to get off the topic of the artist, Madara returned to the earlier topic of discussion, "You propose mere samurai will get in our way? Our focus is on the jinchuriki. We should not wander far from the path to peace, otherwise we are bound to get lost."
"There are many paths," Konan spoke. Very much like Pein, her emotions were near impossible to detect. They held a cold hatred for this world and a deep love for the other.
Were there multiple paths to peace, to love? Tobi had walked down the darkest road he could because the results were guaranteed. If he made it through, overcame the obstacles and bled in the world of hate, reaching the end of the path would be a new beginning.
Perhaps there were other paths, ones with fertile soil and less blood, less hate. However in this case, the ending wasn't guaranteed to be just that - an end, or the beginning of something more. During some point in the past year he'd stepped off the path and wandered off into the woods, unclear of where he was going, unable to see what lay under his feet, too focused on what lay ahead of him. Maybe he would finally find another trail to get back home.
Deidara had chosen his path. It lead to a dead-end. Unless Tobi created a fork in the road, there was no deterring the man from his purpose.
It was only fair; the same had been done to him.
He felt more than apprehensive that he and Deidara could live together in a real world, and live happy. Reality was corrupted with greed, hunger for power, and hate. It would be a constant struggle for survival, assuming they ever formed any intimate relationship. Deidara would never return his feelings. There wasn't much room in the man's heart for any sort of love beyond art, much less one as intricate and complex as romance.
Tobi had not come to a decision and likely would not for a long time. Yet, he prided himself as a tactician and would prepare for either route he found himself in, Deidara or the Moon's Eye Plan. He hoped what reached him in the end was something he could find peace in.
Madara spoke over the pitter-patter of rain, "This conversation has been insightful."
"You haven't commented on the jutsu," the Rinnegan was directed towards him, seeing everything and seeing nothing.
"It was weak," his voice was like ice, "And you were well aware of that. Calling your bluff was all it took to break away from it."
Pein was unshaken when he replied, "Deidara is likely to refuse any orders until he has had some time to himself, so I will have the both of you free to do as you please for the next week. You will be working on the jinchuriki the following week."
"Yes, sir! Thank you, sir!" Tobi took the last word, vanishing from the thick, humid air.