Bananas

"Illusory."
.

He opened his eyes and was greeted by darkness. The sun had yet to rise; it was still very early in the morning. Deidara had fallen asleep on his stomach that night and clearly hadn't angled his head right. His neck was already sore.

Waking up to the feeling of something heavy loosely draped over his waist wasn't unfamiliar, frustratingly enough. This wasn't the first time Deidara woke to one or several limbs spread all over him. Tobi had a knack for finding his way to Deidara whenever they were both asleep. It didn't happen often, usually because they took turns on watch duty and rarely slept at the same time. It was when they felt safe enough and shared the same room that Tobi would find Deidara in his sleep. At first, it had been annoying because Deidara didn't like it. But as time flew by, Deidara found comfort in waking up to the presence of someone else sleeping next to him. That was even more annoying.

Even with Tobi's futon pressed up against the opposite wall, the man had somehow found his way to Deidara overnight. The image of Tobi rolling all the way across was… interesting.

He was acutely aware of the appendage touching his back. The fabric was not particularly soft, but the hold was gentle. The heat radiating from the skin underneath felt good, but that just made it all the more unbearable, because it was Tobi's skin. Tobi, who wasn't Tobi. The stranger sleeping next him was not clueless; he knew where the lines were, but crossed them anyway. Nothing could be a childish gesture anymore; it had to be intentional.

Deidara turned his head to come face to face with Tobi's mask. He just looked at it for a few long moments. It was too dark to see anything but the gentle sloping of the swirls. Could Tobi really be blamed for what he did in his sleep, though? Deidara wasn't sure.

Hold on... was Tobi even asleep?

Closing his eyes, Deidara held his own breath and tried to listen to Tobi's breathing. After a few moments of listening, he concluded yes, Tobi was unconscious. Or he was very, very good at faking it.

Deidara didn't really have any more time to worry over it, because the ceiling above their heads collapsed. Wood and rock caved in. The sight of it, from his lazy, horizontal position on the floor, was startling enough to get his adrenaline going. Several perfectly spherical boulders dropped from the heavens – a jutsu no doubt. Deidara had just enough time to shove his partner out of the way before one of the monstrosities smashed into the spot where he was sleeping.

There wasn't a chance to celebrate—Deidara got struck by a split plank of wood, the teethed edges ripping through the flesh of his ribs. Before his body could register the pain, he was forced to dodge out of the way again from another falling plank.

Tobi had woken and was hysterical, but he was okay. Deidara let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. Maybe objects could pass through Tobi's body, but that didn't mean he could activate his ability while he was unconscious.

Deidara had just grabbed a hold of his clay when three shinobi came into view, peering down from the gaping hole in the roof. Their chakra levels were puny, and their patterns untrained. Never mind that he was as nude as the day he was born; these guys were going to pay!

They seemed to have a similar idea in mind, because all three of them leapt down with kunai in their hands.

"Who are you guys? Hm," Deidara asked. He was already sculpting, hands hidden from sight.

The one in the middle, likely their leader, twirled the kunai in her hand, "You won't live long enough to find out."

"Senpai!" Tobi yelped, running to cower behind Deidara.

He's not scared. He just wants me to do all the work. That lazy –

The glint of moonlight reflecting off weapons was hauntingly familiar, and once again Deidara was reminded of the path he chose to follow in life. There was a special sort of gratitude he carried, one for his past-self and the decisions he made. His soul was meant to soar.

The fight led to outside, so Deidara could get out of the blast's range when the opportunity arose. He and Tobi were flying high. The battle didn't last long, since his heart was fully in it. Two sets of teeth gnawed away on clay, hungry to shape and mold weapons of absolute destruction.

Dozens of birds latched onto sets of thighs, arms, and torsos. It was overkill, but when was it ever not?

The three shinobi had frozen in fear.

He was about to yell out his command, when Tobi started laughing, "Bwahaha! I figured out who you are!"

"Huh?" Deidara blinked, confused. He didn't think he could ever get used to Tobi interrupting him.

"They said – they said, we won't live long enough to—," Tobi was still laughing.

Deidara could have shrugged. It didn't really matter who they were or where they came from. They were going to experience his art first-hand. The three of them were trying to pull the bombs off their bodies. Key word: trying. He smirked, "Katsu!"

The sight was glorious, and he couldn't really take his eyes away from it. The view during daylight was superb, but at night...

Over half of the inn was destroyed, most of it Deidara's work. Whichever Earth jutsu the three had used, it was child's play compared to his. The evidence lay before them.

Deidara kind of felt bad, like he usually did when civilian lives were thrown into the mix. Only just a bit! He didn't care, not really. It was just that he didn't get a sick pleasure out of seeing defenseless people suffer. What he did enjoy was the sight of people dying, their lives ending abruptly. It was especially beautiful when they weren't afraid of death. Civilians didn't have that acceptance; they feared death.

All of a sudden, he became very physically aware and shuddered. He was naked and it was cold. More importantly, his side was injured and bleeding heavily. On closer inspection, the several cuts weren't deep enough to be lethal, but he'd still need stitches for them to heal properly. The wounds stretched to his back where he couldn't reach himself. That meant they'd have to visit Kakuzu.

Tobi crouched down next to him on the bird, just after he felt the touch of fabric settle over his shoulders. It was his Akatuski robe. He looked up to see Tobi throwing on his own set. It was such a small thing but it meant the world to him right then.

He grinned, "You managed to grab these! Hm."

Tobi giggled, rubbing the back of his head in embarrassment, "I got everything when they weren't looking. Even the rest of your clay!"

Tobi was pointing behind him. Deidara turned around and his eyes widened. Lo and behold, everything was there... plus more. Hell, it looked like Tobi ransacked the inn while Deidara was fighting those goons. Clothing, weapons, sandals, food, coin, and a medical kit were all piled onto each other. Deidara immediately controlled his clay to engulf everything before it was all whisked away by the wind.

"When?" Deidara exclaimed, "How?!"

He couldn't believe how quick Tobi was!

Tobi waved a hand, leaning in closer to look at Deidara's ribs, "That's not important right now. We need to get you patched up, senpai. You could bleed to death."

"I've had two arms severed from my body, this is nothing, hm," he said. Deidara pushed him away, but the movement was half-hearted.

His pride had been damaged more than his flesh. Three weak shinobi managed to hurt him with a piece of wood. It may have been an ambush, but that was no excuse. He should have been prepared for something like that. He always prided himself in being quick on his feet. Defending himself was easy. Tonight proved that protecting someone else was burdensome, and it could get you killed. You had to throw away your own defenses for it to work.

He had been compelled to keep Tobi safe, and this sort of experience was new to him. Deidara hadn't ever really cared about the wellbeing of others before. But the thought of losing Tobi upset him, especially if Deidara could do something to prevent it from happening. This completely contradicted how he wanted to maim his partner over half the time. Deidara shook his thoughts away.

They landed somewhere away from the village. Tobi started making camp as Deidara sat down against a tree. He cleaned what he could reach with the tools provided by the ancient medical kit, though it was becoming obviously apparent that he was spilling out too much blood. His arms were shaking and he felt faint. Little stars were pinching in his field of vision.

Tobi, as though he could read minds, abruptly stopped his whistling and asked, "Are you alright, senpai?"

"Yeah, Tobi. I'm fine, hm," Deidara said. He cursed his luck when his voice cracked towards the end.

As expected, Tobi didn't let it go, "You don't look fine. Let me help you."

"No, hm. I've done this before," Deidara reminded him. He was picking out splinters from his side.

"Pleeeeease!" Tobi was in his personal bubble in an instant, hands clasped together, "Pretty please! We're friends remember!"

Deidara paused his movements. He forgot about that. They had come to an agreement in an attempt to get along, but could Deidara still look at it the same way? Was Tobi joking when he said it? Thinking back on it, the whole conversation seemed forced. It was like Tobi just wanted to make sure his persona appeared ditzy and lovable.

He'd never admit it aloud, but he'd grown accustomed – he says that word hesitantly – to the goofy Tobi. There was something so innocent about his persona. You were forced to pity him. Deidara would feel off-kilter for a while if the man died in battle. He couldn't say that about a lot of people. He hardly blinked when Master Sasori died.

Tobi's mask was inches away from his face, so Deidara pushed Tobi's head away.

"If you could help me get these shards out, I'd appreciate it, hm," he gave in. It would be easier to get the back pieces out with Tobi's help.

"I'll be quick!" Tobi waved wildly, "We need to stitch you up or you might bleed to death!"

"You're being drastic, hm," he sighed.

Deidara handed Tobi the tweezers and watched attentively as Tobi picked out the wood fragments. He didn't know how Tobi managed to see so well in the dark. It must have something to do with his mask. The orange thing blocked his peripherals, and he only had one eyehole. Maybe Tobi was less dependent on sight and more on touch or instinct, like him. Or maybe he had one good eye, also like him.

A loud and painful grumble from his abdomen caught his attention. He really needed to eat. Deidara grabbed a banana from the pile of stuff Tobi had collected. Luckily, he was smart enough to have set everything within arm's reach before collapsing onto the tree roots. He was in that state where once he sat down, he wouldn't want to get back up again.

"Tobi, you should eat, hm," Deidara reminded, peeling the banana.

Tobi looked up quickly, as if startled from his thoughts, "Oh, I'm not hun... gry."

Deidara took a bite out of the banana, chewing thoughtfully. He swallowed, "You know I'm feeling okay if you want to go back to sleep after this. We have a few hours before daylight. I can take watch, hm."

Tobi was quiet, mask directed towards him. Then he looked down, going back to plucking out pieces of wood from flesh, "No. You sleep. I'll take watch. Senpai, you need to rest."

"If you say so, boss," Deidara scoffed.

He finished the banana in two more bites and tossed the peel away. It was Tobi's loss. Deidara wasn't following Tobi's orders; he wanted to sleep. He only offered because he felt bad for Tobi. He looked so content back in the inn, Deidara remembered how little Tobi slept in the first place. Even for a shinobi, Tobi's circadian rhythm was terrible. Kami knew how many winks of sleep the man got each night.

Deidara became momentarily distracted as Tobi lightly pushed against his side, an effort to get better access to the wounds on his back. Deidara helped him out by leaning over as he picked out the splinters. Tobi's ring was cold against his skin, so Deidara focused on that to keep his sanity in check.

"This is gunna hurt, Deidara-senpai," he whispered, after several minutes.

"Tobi," Deidara warned.

"It'll be okay. Hold my hand, Dei-dei-chan," Tobi didn't wait, grasping the bomber's dirty palm and threading his fingers through.

"Shut up. Want me to call you To-to? Wait – never mind, don't answer tha—ah!" Deidara yelped, gripping onto Tobi's fingers harder. He couldn't feel anything but the antiseptic for many minutes. He just held his breath and waited for the pain to wash away.

Tobi kept wiping down on the raw flesh, the rag in his hand wet with chemicals. Deidara breathed hard, watching him lean down to further inspect the wound. It must have been clear of splinters and dirt, because Tobi tossed the fabric to the side.

"What a good boy! You handled it so well," Tobi patted an unwounded area on his chest, "Let's do some stitching! I'm not as good as Kakuzu though. Um, heh—don't worry, I'll be careful. You're in good hands!"

Deidara grunted, letting go of Tobi before the man threaded the needle. The banana had enhanced his fatigue and made him really drowsy. Vaguely, he could remember someone recommending bananas when you were having a hard time falling asleep. Looked like that tip was a solid one. A few moments of silence passed and his breathing started to even out.

"So?" Tobi said out of the blue.

Deidara's eye snapped open.

Effin-eff, Tobi.

"So?" he echoed, side-eyeing him.

"Don't you wanna know who they were?" Tobi sounded like he was smiling. Deidara could probably figure it out if he put his mind to it. He just didn't feel like thinking right then. At his silence, Tobi continued, "The inn keeper hired them."

That sounded logical. He agreed, "Because we're Akatsuki, hm."

"Yup," Tobi popped the 'p'. "Wanna know what gave it away?"

Deidara didn't have the strength to formulate anymore words. He tried, "Hm."

"They were terrified of your clay before it exploded! They wouldn't know your clay was explosive unless they researched us. And I thought it was weird how the inn keeper didn't come in to check on us when we were fighting. After I searched the building, everyone else had been evacuated. I guess the Akatsuki's getting pretty famous huh? This is great news!"

Not really, Deidara thought. This meant they were going to be hunted down. Now they'd have to keep an eye over their shoulder at all times.

He closed his eyes as Tobi went about mending his skin together. If Tobi had asked to do his stitching a few weeks ago, Deidara wouldn't have hesitated to refuse him. How could an idiot like Tobi ever handle such a responsibility? Now, however, he recognized the experience behind the man's work. Everything he said had a hidden meaning. Every action he took had a purpose.

He wished he was never told about the alternate persona. It was so much easier when Tobi was your average halfwit. Maybe Deidara should just pretend he was still the same simpleminded Tobi that he babysat twenty-four seven. Yeah. Tobi was a moron who was decent at stitching together skin because he had experience fixing up the scarred face he apparently hid under that mask. This is what Deidara would tell himself until he passed out.

He could feel the prick of the sharp point entering and leaving, again, and again, and again. It didn't hurt. Instead, Deidara found the sensation of Tobi's gloved hands left his skin feeling tender. The touch was rough when it had to be and gentle when it didn't. His hold was a good distraction from the confusing situation Tobi had put them in.

"Don't move. I'm going to turn you onto your side now, senpai," Tobi's voice startled him.

He let out a breath, "Yeah."

Tobi's hands gripped his hip and pushed him until his back was exposed. The needle and thread still hung off half of his wound, the stitches unfinished. Something warm pressed against his sides and Deidara recognized the feeling for Tobi's leg. To his annoyance, it supported some of his weight and made the position more comfortable. Tobi wasn't supposed to be this good.

His partner returned to fixing up the tear in his back, humming in tune with his movements.

Deidara didn't know if it was the loss of excessive blood that made him pass out, or the rhythmic pattern Tobi had developed which put him to sleep.

.

This time when Deidara woke up, Tobi's body wasn't pressed against his, nor were there shinobi trying to put them to eternal sleep. The sun was up high in the sky, warming the stretches of his skin which had cooled from the coming autumn breeze. An ant was crawling on his forearm, so he flicked it aside carelessly.

"Uhrgh!" he groaned, his arm gripping around his torso reflexively.

Well, moving was clearly a bad idea! Scratch that—saving the idiot's hide was a bad idea. He wouldn't be injured in the first place if Tobi was more Tobi and less... Tobi.

Was Tobi's other persona, the less stupid one, a whole other person? Like Zetsu's duality. Or had Tobi been acting like a fool for years? Somehow the latter seemed more believable. There was no way anyone could possibly be anything like Zetsu and not have been a victim of severe brain trauma or experimentation.

Speaking of Tobi, where was he? Deidara looked this way and that, but couldn't sense him in the perimeters. He struggled to stand up, all the while checking for signs of enemies. Nothing seemed amiss. He looked down to see his chest was bandaged expertly. He could even feel a medicinal ointment cooling his skin under it. Tobi did a decent job, Deidara smirked.

Rummaging through their pile of stuff, he picked out his clothes and pulling them on. Somehow he managed to keep warm last night, despite being shoeless and dressed in only his Akatsuki robe.

That was when Tobi's voice pierced through the quiet of chirping birds and ruffling leaves,

"Deidara-senpai! You're awake!"

Deidara flinched, turning around. Deidara couldn't figure out which direction he'd come from. Tobi did that frequently. He would appear out of nowhere, without leaving any trace behind him. Tobi would be a hard man to fight if he ever took things seriously. He was harder to detect than Zetsu, on occasion.

"Really? I didn't notice, hm," Deidara rolled his eye, shoving the topic to the back of his mind. He'd rather not think about his situation with Tobi first thing in the morning.

"How could you not notice you're awake, senpai? Don't you think that's quite dumb of you?"

Deidara's eye twitched.

Tobi took a step back, recognizing the look.

But then his anger flew away and Deidara deflated. Tobi's jokes were actually... not half-bad. The man had wit. And his one-liners were always well-timed. If only they weren't directed towards him and his art.

Tobi twirled on his feet and struck a pose. He sing-songed, "Take a picture, it'll last longer."

"I wouldn't be surprised if a picture of you lasted a long time, hm," Deidara said, "Only true art is fleeting."

Tobi fell out of his pose, whining, "Senpai! Are you trying to hurt my feelings?"

"Is it working?"

"Yes!"

"Good, hm."

Tobi flailed about angrily for a few moments before a bumblebee distracted him.

The balanced had been tipped. Deidara didn't know how to act around Tobi. The man had to be a genius. He's played the Akatsuki for so long. Should he joke around and throw insults at him? He was compelled to; he'd been doing it for years now. But now Deidara carried an ounce of respect for the man. Deidara wanted to talk to Tobi seriously. He thrived on deeper, more meaningful conversations, especially ones which carried philosophical implications. These sorts of discussions improved the meaning of his artwork. He couldn't have these exchanges with this guy.

Needing to know when Tobi would take of his mask, both in the literal and figurative sense, Deidara questioned carefully, "When do you think we'll get to spar? For real. Hm."

Tobi did not need even a moment to read between the lines, saying slowly, "Maybe after we've captured all the tailed beasts. Our masterful Leader would want us to follow the plan!"

Deidara nodded. That would be soon. There weren't many jinchuuriki left to catch. Satisfied with Tobi's response, his mood lightened considerably. He replied, "Thought so. I've always known you were too scared to face my art. Hm."

They headed East with no objective in mind. Orders had yet to arrive, but Deidara could guess it would be a direction to hunt down the tailed beasts. They had been assigned the task of extracting them upon moment of membership to the Akatsuki, but timing was essential. Rumors spread fast, unless they were guarded secrets like the precise locations of powerful human weapons, unfortunately. It wouldn't do to capture one beast and have the rest on high alert while the Akatsuki still needed information. That was why Pein instructed them to wait for clearance before the beasts could be captured. Now it was almost time.

A frustrated Tobi ran a hand through his hair, hardly aware of the beautiful ocean view in front of him. It was a moonless night. He was sitting on the edge of a wide cliff, legs dangling dangerously and body damp from the strong, moist winds. Tobi stood to his feet.

He couldn't say he regret the events which transpired recently, of him revealing a small portion of his identity; however, he was worried about what would happen next. The stress it left on his mind was numbing. His plans were a large, organized, lethal web and Deidara was his prey caught in the middle of it: a large thing which appeared from nowhere, simultaneously tangling the delicate structure and being everything he's ever wanted – the perfect meal. So much desire coursed through his veins.

He sensed Deidara approaching before he heard the quiet sound of feet stepping on dirt.

Deidara spoke from behind him, "Tobi."

He looked over his shoulder, "Senpai?"

"We're leaving."