Pears
"Endearment."
.
"I want to tell you something."
Deidara wasn't getting used to the sound of Tobi's real voice, but now he was less surprised whenever he heard it. Ever since two nights ago on that hill, Tobi had been making off-handed comments as Tobi, at least whenever there was no one in the area. It was unnerving. As much as he preferred the company of a quieter partner, this new guy made him feel not exactly uncomfortable, but something like it.
Tobi muttered something unintelligible under his breath, then corrected himself, "No, I want to show you something."
Everyone had a fuse, including Tobi. He resembled an old, battered sculpture, locked away and forgotten under years of pretense. If there was existence, there was chance for art. Even someone like Tobi, broken and dusty from lack of use, had the ability to bring one-of-a-kind, remarkable things into the world. He was denying himself his right to kindle his inner fuse. Nothing, absolutely nothing frustrated him more than someone opting to live without their spark.
With the possibility of enemies nearby, it was astonishing to hear Tobi speak so freely.
Distracted, Deidara took a few moments to process Tobi's words, then replied, "Then show me, hm."
Their simple scroll-hunting mission had them walking down the underground tunnels of a rotting, lost and forgotten temple. It was a perfect place for other shinobi to use as a hideout, and odds were that was exactly what was happening. Deidara was on high alert, because he couldn't fight long-range in these conditions, nor could he blast his way out without the risk of the dirt above their heads crumbling down. The caverns looked frail with old age. Strangely enough, dead – chained – skeletons littered the tunnels. A sacred temple was hiding a prison under its floors. Charming.
Tobi, being a few paces ahead of him, turned his head just enough to catch his attention, "Follow me."
Their intel instructed them to make a left turn, but Tobi directed them to the right. A torch was trapped against Tobi's palm, his fingers tight around the wood, yet wrist loose. To the untrained eye, that observation meant nothing. But Deidara recognized the grip of a swordsman.
"You've been here before?" he broke the silence, spotting Tobi's familiarity with the tunnels.
The man didn't pause, "Once."
Their pace was languid and their steps silent. The tunnels were damp. Water dripped from the ceilings and formed puddles under their feet. The other Tobi would have been making a big deal out of his toes getting wet, or he'd be jumping and splashing around in excitement. Or both. Deidara didn't take his eyes off the cloaked figure ahead of him. The fire of the torch darkened the silhouette.
For some reason, he missed Tobi.
"Here," Tobi's arm stretched up and the flames lit up the wall of a dead-end.
Deidara breathed out, "Woah."
Across the entire span of the ancient, rock wall was the reflection of a story. The paint was faded, at least several thousand years old. Reds, greens, yellows, and blues shaped different people, gods, mountains, and rivers.
He stepped closer, falling into place to Tobi's left.
The plot was of a human who became a lover to one of the gods – Deidara couldn't decipher which one. The mortal was vile, murdering innocents and raping the vulnerable. As punishment, he'd been caught in one of the fires he started, cursed to suffer paralysis and severe burns for the remainder of his life. The god, however, was a lover of humanity and believed there was good in his heart. It watched over him and they fell in love. Deidara couldn't make out the ending, since the edges of the wall had faded out.
Deidara struggled, "Why are you showing me this?"
"Eternity may not exist, but you cannot deny the preciousness of life withstanding its destiny for as long as it can," Tobi moved the torch to focus at the end of the painting, "Once the physicality of this piece finally withers away, only those who've seen it will remember it. No one after will understand its existence. It will be gone forever. Death is a tragedy."
Tobi lowered the torch, directing his attention to Deidara.
"And since the day the artist spread paint along these walls, every person after has had a different memory of it. The ones to see this in its prime would have died long before they could see it at its most precious moment, right now," he continued, "This painting is at its best state the way it is here, molded and disappearing, because it has offered everything within its limits."
Mouth dry, Deidara had to take a calming breath. It was compelling enough to hear him make brief and cunning remarks, but this was something else entirely. Hearing him care about something considered nonsensical to the majority, even if his opinion differed from his own, was so damn refreshing, Deidara was tempted to – to – ...
"You're right, hm, but you're also not," Deidara pointed to the painting, not letting his fingers touch it. He'd never heard of anyone who thought like that, or at least, voiced it out loud.
Tobi might have sighed, though Deidara doubted it, when he replied, "Stubborn brat."
The tone was light, and Deidara was too much in high spirits to be offended. Tobi's words did remind him of Sasori, bittersweet memories of a fool. He vaguely wondered how old Tobi was, if he was referring to Deidara as a brat.
He was more worried about proving Tobi wrong when he explained, "When you fear death, you spend your entire life trying to run away from the master hunter, hm. Life is art, yeah. You said so yourself. But when you cling to eternity, your canvas loses its vibrancy. It's no longer art, but a memory of art, hm. For us humans, when we're stuck in that state, all we want is to be someone else, because our lives aren't enough. And when death finally catches us, we'll be remembering the times we were happy – when we were art."
Deidara grinned. He could talk about this all day.
Thinking back, Sasori had been an emotionless rock. Deidara respected his artistic nature, but was quick to find out how dull it was to talk to, and not with, someone. That was exactly why he tended to recklessly initiate debates on their art style, because their discussions frequently got heated. Who cared if it pissed off the man, at least he was getting feelings out of him. Obviously, in the end, Deidara won. Master Sasori's eternity ceased. Maybe he'd already lost before his demise. What use was it to have a living body if you were already dead?
Since the revelation in the cave all those weeks ago, a small bit of Deidara feared Tobi would be just like the rest of them: unfeeling, impassive, lifeless. He proved him wrong. Deidara couldn't even compare Tobi's heart to Sasori's. There was so much going on in the man's head. That mind wasn't just a chaotic storm, it was the never-ending ocean under it too.
Tobi clung to his last sentence, "What if someone has no happy memories? What if there was so much pain, everything good faded away?"
"They may as well be dead, hm."
"How miserable," Tobi commented. He was distant, not physically, but mentally. Deidara could tell, even in the dim lighting.
He wasn't referring to himself, was he? How rough was Tobi's past? Deidara frowned. He didn't let the conversation end, "It's never too late to bring excitement to your life, hm."
"Yes," Tobi agreed, "I believe you."
"All you have to do is make a change, hm," Deidara thought aloud, then redirected his focus to Tobi, "Which you said you'd do."
Back on the hill. When they almost kissed. Deidara half-heartedly kicked a rock.
That night, Tobi told him he was being used. As what and by what, Deidara didn't know. The thought of it infuriated him. No one should be shackled, by anything. Even themselves.
"And I am. However, I need to take precautions," Tobi said, stepping past Deidara and heading back the way they came. It took a moment for Deidara to remember they were on a mission.
The walk back towards their real destination was considerably less tense. It wasn't his imagination; Tobi was relaxed now. The shoulders Deidara had been keeping an eye on weren't raised as high, and the conversation between them was less forced.
He smiled.
The scroll they were after wasn't on a pedestal in the center of a throne room, protected behind ancient traps left by those before. Whoever hid the scroll was smart. They buried the scroll in an unmarked edge of a tunnel, lost in its maze and impossible to find without specific intel. They had the general area given to them by an Akatsuki spy, but pinpointing the precise site in a two-hundred-foot radius stretch of tunnel was irksome.
Tobi, however, seemed to know exactly where to go. He didn't pause or move his head to look around. At about the hundred-thirty mark, Tobi stopped and brought his torch down to the ground, crouching low with it. Deidara didn't see anything interesting about the spot, at least not at first glance. If he hadn't been an expertly trained shinobi, he would have completely missed the subtle sign of unrested dirt.
His eye snapped to Tobi, "How did you know?"
Tobi was pulling out a kunai with his free hand when he responded, "I was the one who left it here."
Deidara did a double-take, "What?! That would mean this mission was..."
"A hoax," Tobi finished for him, stabbing the kunai into the ground to upturn the soil. It made a loud clang as it struck against some stone of the cavern.
Deidara grabbed the torch from his hand, so he could maneuver around better. Pein had sent them on this mission, which he wouldn't do if he knew Tobi had the scroll all along. Just how stealthy was Tobi? More importantly, "Why? Hm."
"I wanted to remind you that I am a liar," Tobi pushed aside the soil with the kunai, "And I'm good at it."
"Yeah, I figured, hm," Deidara watched the man's fingers wrap around a dirty handle. He didn't miss the implications. There was more to uncover, much more.
"It was also a test. I had to see if they still trust me," he said and yanked hard. A small, rusted, metal chest unearthed itself.
Deidara didn't know who 'they' were, and probably never would, but asked, "Do they?"
"Yes, to a degree. I still need to be careful," Tobi inserted his chakra into the box and the lid popped open, confirming his earlier words. That was an identification lock. So, the scroll really was Tobi's. He continued, "Mostly, I wished to speak with you."
Deidara straightened, "Again, why?"
"It's been a long time since I've looked forward to anyone's company," Tobi's baritone echoed through the tunnels, and he grabbed the scroll, tucking it under his cloak, "So it's imperative you meet all versions of Tobi."
Embarrassed at how corny and tactless Tobi was – traits neither personas could get rid of – Deidara ground his teeth together, "How is it 'imperative'? I told you I don't want to be dragged into whatever plot you're scheming, hm."
He didn't want to be involved, but he wanted to know more about his partner. It was becoming readily apparent that Deidara couldn't have one without the other. Tobi stood up again, and now that he was angry, Deidara immediately noticed their height difference and hated it.
"Then we're on the same page. I don't want you in this mess either," Tobi said. His tone was soft, and it didn't match his natural, hard voice. Still, the gentleness of it all, accompanied by his words, eased Deidara's vexation and calmed him down.
He refocused on Tobi's other declaration, once again reminded that his partner was weirdly invested in him. Clearly Tobi cared about him, but could it be that Tobi cared for him? Deidara wondered if there was enough evidence for this, or if it was just his imagination – his desires playing with his mind. Maybe he didn't want Tobi to just appreciate him, but depend on him, need him.
The thought struck a nerve and Deidara faltered. How desperate was he for attention? Deidara scowled, "Let's head back, hm."
There was only one entranceway, so it also served as the only exit. Deidara was ready to turn around and take the long trek back when Tobi stopped him, raising a hand, "Hold on."
Deidara normally would have brushed past an outstretched hand – especially if it was Tobi's – but he caught himself hesitating. The dynamics in their relationship had changed so drastically. This was proof of it. The nauseating feeling of unfamiliarity was still there, and if not for his sharp attitude, would have left him ill. Now, his focus was on a possible threat. Deidara recognized the signs of his partner sensing danger up ahead, back in the direction they came from.
Referring to their entire conversation, Deidara commented, "They heard us, hm."
Tobi took a few paces forward to step ahead of Deidara, until his swirly, orange mask couldn't be seen.
There were two shinobi down the tunnel, the darkness masking their bodies completely. They were good at hiding their chakra, but not good enough to hide it from the Akatsuki. Avoiding confrontation wasn't an option, seeing as they were in the way. Maybe they could have negotiated a peaceful compromise, if it wasn't for the fact that these strangers heard highly confidential information – specifically, Tobi's other persona.
Said man let out a noise, the sound lower and darker than anything he's heard from him before.
A light shiver crawled up his back, because something in the air changed after that. It was the tension you felt before a battle was about to commence. Now this was a more familiar territory.
Grip tightening around the torch, Deidara called out into the shadows, "Come on out, hm!"
The sound of shuriken buzzing through the air had them dodging the assault. Deidara dropped the torch into a puddle of water, seeing as it was giving away their position. The flames sizzled out, hissing. The moment the only source of light in the cavern disappeared, Deidara sensed the shinobi running away. Tobi did too, sprinting right after them.
He cursed, following his partner. Deidara clung to Tobi's chakra signature, because once again, the man proved he could see in the dark. Tobi was incredibly fast, for once not hiding his ability to keep up with Deidara. Only this time, their roles were reversed. Deidara wasn't having a hard time matching his stamina, but his speed was a different matter all together. He'd always known Tobi was slick for his size. This was something else. It was a good change seeing him use his speed for offensive purposes instead of running away.
The sound of clanking metal caught his attention. He wasn't sure what happened but he kept going.
For a while, Deidara wondered if Tobi was toying with them, because they could have caught them a lot sooner. He figured out what his partner was up to just before they were led to a large, vast room filled with campfire light and other enemy shinobi.
"Akatsuki!" a Suna shinobi shrilled out. The reflection of red flames flickered over his forehead protector.
The men and women sitting by the small fires stood to their feet, ready to fight. One of them scolded the two they had been chasing, "You led them to us?! Idiots!"
The other countered, "We're not stupid enough to fight them on our own!"
Deidara smirked. There was a compliment in there somewhere. Casting a glance to his partner, he was surprised to see a long, rusted chain in his hands, both ends wrapped around either of his wrists. That was the source of the noise he heard earlier. What was Tobi planning?
Someone from the group tried to whisper, but his nerves must have interfered, because he just about shouted, "We have to report this to – !"
Tobi cut him off, cold, "No. You lot will perish."
Immediately, an assortment of kunai, katana, and shuriken rose at the threat. Deidara heard the clang of chains as Tobi mimicked their movements.
"You're going to fight them with... that? My fingers are itching for my clay, hm. Let me have them," Deidara's brow rose, eyeing the green and red metal. It looked like the pieces would snap apart with even a half-hearted tug.
Tobi added playfully, persona reverting, "No, no! That won't do at all! Why don't you give me a chance? I want to impress you, senpai!"
The entire cavern went silent at the childish voice, the switch too sudden and polar for them.
A woman spoke, "These guys are crazy."
Deidara wanted to kick their asses, but he wanted to see Tobi in combat even more. This might be the only chance he'd get to see him fight seriously. Maybe he'd even get to see some of his kekkei genkai. Pros outweighing the cons, he nodded, "Fine."
As if Deidara's permission was the trigger, the whole room went into motion.
Tobi disappeared from in front of him, vanishing entirely. Deidara's eyes widened when he reappeared in the center of the group. His mind was already considering strategy. Most would think Tobi's placement was a bad tactical move, since now the man was surrounded. But this way, he'd have the element of surprise. These people didn't know about Tobi's tricks, that he was untouchable.
Deidara watched with wide, fascinated eyes as several of them moved to strike their weapons into Tobi. Their expressions were confused, some terrified, as the blades phased right through his body.
One of them screamed in pain, the katana protruding from Tobi's back having punctured her flesh. Tobi didn't waste any time. He kicked her in the jaw, sending her flying across the room.
A man roared in outrage, going for the head, and then Deidara's heart clenched. Tobi stepped right through him. Another movement and the metal was curled around the shinobi's thick throat. Predicting what was coming next, Deidara watched in fascination. Tobi grabbed at extra chain and spread his arms open, smacking a guy in the process, to tighten the shackles and sever the other's head.
A series of kicks and strikes reminded Deidara of their mission in the Land of Iron. His fighting style was less erratic since then, and it probably had to do with the fact that he wasn't trying to hide anything this time. Tobi seemed to really like using his bare hands; he didn't reach for his kunai once. Instead, the man opted for strangulation and head trauma. He grabbed at and held his opponents more often than he hit them too. There was hardly any blood involved. Deidara stored all of this in the back of his mind. Just in case.
Metal glinted, and a shadow moved.
Deidara jolted to dodge a blade swinging down on him, but the rusted chain he was quickly growing fond of curled around their opponent's throat, halting him. The man clawed at his neck, dropping his knife. It took just over a second for him to be jerked towards Tobi, who wrenched the shackles back, hard. The shinobi was dragged across feet and feet of dirt, choking.
One of the women started pulling out hand-signs, and Deidara was a fraction of a second away from throwing a bomb to stop whatever she was planning on doing, but Tobi was faster. He was already there, merging out of the darkness behind her, a kunai at her throat. She gasped, eye's widening, arms falling to her sides. His hand slid from left to right, and as the blood oozed out, Deidara realized that was the last one. Tobi stepped away. The body collapsed in front of him.
That was... nice.
And kinda hot. Deidara was disturbed to feel the yearning brewing inside him. Nervous, he watched Tobi drop the chains at his feet. They landed with a resonating clang. The sight only heightened his want. He tried to look into the black pit that was the mask's eyehole, but got lost in it. When Tobi didn't look away, warmth coiled low and tight under his stomach.
Bothered, Deidara cleared his throat, "You're fast, hm."
"They were just slow," Tobi replied. He didn't have a hard time imagining scarred lips prying open and lingering shut with each word.
He looked away, "True. But you don't have to be modest, Tobi, hm."
Deidara observed the carcasses scattered in every direction. They weren't unrecognizable. Each kill had been clean and methodical. Not a single blow had been unnecessary. Tobi didn't kill like a bloodthirsty animal; he dispatched humans like an active shinobi. He made the quickest, smallest wounds that would get the job done.
"Burn the bodies," his partner ordered, halting Deidara's train of thought.
The cavern was large and empty enough to burn bodies without the risk of disturbing the earth. He'd be one hundred percent okay with blowing a few things up. Still, Deidara figured performing his artwork lost its meaning on empty corpses. He was about to explain, but Tobi did that for him.
"There are specialized jutsu which execute enhanced autopsy and play back the most recent memories of a dead person. The risk is slim, but it's a risk."
He understood, smirking, "It's best I leave my mark for closure then, hm."
.
They sat surrounding the campfire, autumn's last mosquitos and insects buzzing by their ears. The air was chilly after sunset, so the fire warmed up their frozen fingers and toes. The shinobi life wasn't a comfortable one, but it had its moments.
Deidara stretched out his feet, yawning.
Tobi copied him, yawning loudly and stretching his arms high. The man took the opportunity to rest his head against Deidara's thigh, as if nothing was wrong with the world. Deidara frowned at the weight against his leg, unhappy with the intrusion, but more worried over the sparks shooting up his body. Tobi's touch usually didn't provoke such a reaction from him. He'd have shooed him away, if it wasn't for the fact that he wanted Tobi to stay. The man didn't sleep often; maybe he just needed someone with him to do so. Deidara tried to relax, resting his hand on Tobi's chest, breathing deeply.
"Ne, senpai?"
"Hm."
"Let's cuddle."
"No."
"Not even for warmth?" Tobi suggested.
"No, hm," Deidara sighed.
Tobi didn't give up, "Hmpf. Fine, your loss. They say I'm excellent at giving hugs. How about we play a game?"
"Shut up, Tobi. Go to sleep, I'll take first watch," he bit into a pear, eating.
He whined, "You're no fun! I guess I'll just count sheep, then."
Deidara didn't know how much more of this he could take. One minute Tobi was his Akatsuki partner, and the next, a stranger. He respected Tobi, the proclaimed "real" one, but was more familiar, informal, and comfortable around this Tobi. Now he couldn't even have a conversation with him without wondering what the man was really thinking. Planning. His partner was always planning.
Deidara hadn't realized he was running his hands up and down Tobi's chest until he noticed the guy went quiet. He'd have drawn his hand back in embarrassment if he hadn't glanced down to find a slate, coal eye staring back at him. It took a few moments for Deidara to comprehend that this was the first they'd ever made eye contact. Real eye contact, anyways.
Swallowing the bile in his throat, he didn't say anything. He couldn't.
The man's gaze was steady and hard, but it was brief. Tobi likely closed his eyes, because the glimpse of both the sclera and iris disappeared.
Only when he was sure his partner wouldn't open his eye again did Deidara remember to breathe. Everything about this guy was intense. He continued to caress Tobi to help him fall asleep, because something in him told him Tobi only let him see as a thank you.
If only Deidara could shake off the feeling of foreboding from his chest.
Yes, yes, you caught me. This is filler, but it is important filler. Forgive me! Anyhow, it's been a rough few weeks; too many of my loved ones have been losing their loved ones, and it's just been a whirlwind of emotions since then. Also, to the lovely guest who offered fanart - yes! You've even inspired me to make some too, one day. I may come back and edit this, since I had to post it ASAP. It's impossible to focus on exams when Tobi and Deidara are dancing around each other.