Fruitless
"Lack of colour."
.
Deidara ripped off his shirt, seeing red.
Itachi's little brother, an emotionless Sharingan-eyed brat, had managed to bring them to a stalemate. He couldn't believe it had come to this. After an entire spectacle of Deidara exhibiting his life's work, the Uchiha couldn't even acknowledge its form. Art was an explosion! His art was sublime! It deserved respect! Admiration!
A pair of empty black eyes returned his gaze, and something settled inside him.
It was time.
The span of life is an explosion... To die is eternal.
Death is a tragedy.
The smirk rising on his lips dropped. He... he was scared to die. Why? He cursed Tobi for implanting ideas into his head. You couldn't run away from death. Deidara shook the heavy feeling away. There was no need for hesitation because this was his dream, to prove to the unartistic that art was power. Nothing would be more glorious than to take down the Sharingan with the ultimate bang!
Fingers itching, Deidara brought his hand up to the stitching on his chest, never once taking his gaze off the Uchiha. He'd see the fear in those eyes when—why was the boy staring behind him?
He was about to turn his head when someone's hand suddenly latched onto his wrist, the grip painfully tight. Deidara looked up, eyes following the gloved fingers, up an Akatsuki sleeve and a concealed jaw, to that damned swirly, orange mask.
"T–Tobi?!" Deidara struggled to breathe. No! No, no!
He tried tugging back his arm, but Tobi wouldn't let go. Deidara was about to initiate his final jutsu! Tobi was supposed to have fled the area! Why was he still here?! What if he couldn't phase through his explosion?!
"Tobi, get out of here!" Deidara insisted.
His partner didn't say anything, mask directed towards Sasuke Uchiha. It didn't take long for the air to change. The hairs on the back of Deidara's neck stood up. In a haze, he remembered everything Tobi had said when he was Tobi and knew his partner was here to stop him.
No one was going to do that, because his jutsu was unbeatable.
"I tried to warn you, Tobi," Deidara whispered, expression crazed. Sasuke was struggling to stand to his feet. The brat knew he was seconds away from death. Throughout their entire match, Deidara kept Tobi out of harm's way. Sasuke Uchiha seemed to understand things have changed now.
Deidara wasn't about to let him get away. He used his other hand, bringing it up to the stitching on chest and relishing in the sensation of the rough string between his teeth.
Tobi turned his head slightly in Deidara's direction and the world around them began folding in on itself. Deidara let out a puff of breath, dropping his hand to the ground. The air around them pinched in, swirling and swirling. This... This wasn't unfamiliar at all. This reminded him of Kakashi's visual jutsu, the one that pinched off his elbow. Except this time, it didn't hurt – it didn't feel like anything – and it was over before he could register anything else.
Deidara's pupil dilated in shock.
Tobi was still holding onto him.
...And Sasuke Uchiha had managed to escape. Fuck. Fuck!
"Where is he?!" Deidara exclaimed, scrambling to get up. He shoved away Tobi's limb, and this time the man didn't resist, body flaccid. Good thing too, otherwise Deidara would have ripped it off, "He got away, hm! You stopped me! I should kill you! My masterpiece – !"
Hold on. Deidara looked left and right. They weren't in a clearing anymore. The forestry was denser, dark shadows had manifested and lowered the temperature. They were in an entirely new location. Was this a teleportation technique? That wasn't possible. When did Tobi set up markers? There wasn't any sign of them.
Sasuke didn't escape; they retreated. They fell back. Withdrew from the fight. Deidara couldn't believe it. He could have killed Itachi's little brother.
Deidara stepped away from the man, needing some space. He was trapped, lost, and desperate. The chaos of today left him numb. Expression cold, he finally asked, "What was that?"
Tobi said after a moment, "It's called Kamui."
Deidara's already exhausted body weakened at the sound. He didn't have the strength for this. Then he grew irate, "I was about to – "
"Die," Tobi cut off, voice low and angry, "You were about to die."
"Y-yeah, hm," Deidara faltered, then hissed, "It was going to be the greatest explosion in all of shinobi history, brighter than anything seen in the wars, bigger than anyone could hope to comprehend!"
The following stretch of silence was deafening. The roar of what could have been his C0 rung in his ears.
"Then why use it on one lone boy?" Tobi eventually said, words cutting, "Why not use it on armies of trained shinobi?"
A chilling breeze ruffled the leaves around them, simultaneously blowing hair into his face and Tobi's cloak back. An entire army...? The last known shinobi army had dispersed years ago. Civil wars were fought through stealth missions, and armies amassed when things got really, really bad. Tobi couldn't be expecting that to happen, or worse – planning it. That was crazy. His partner was crazy.
The Akatsuki member continued, "Who will complete your art when you die?"
Deidara didn't have to think long for an answer: no one would. He frowned. His jutsu was one of a kind. Anyone who shared his beliefs were long dead, having come to understand his art while they were ripped apart in a moment's time. Deidara had no disciple either; he never saw the purpose in one. What did it all matter? Tobi was wrong. When his art went out with a bang, it would never be forgotten. That's how grand it was supposed to have been. His C0, a single moment of brilliance.
"Make it so you don't have to sacrifice your own life to show the world your raw power. Keep living. Live and live because when you die, there will be no more art, just nothing."
Tobi steps closer to Deidara. Reflexively, he takes a step back.
"If that's not enough," Tobi tilted his head, "If you need a reason to live, use me."
"W-what do you mean?" Deidara's body shook against his will.
"Grow stronger than Sasuke."
He doesn't feel the bark digging into his bare back.
"Stronger than Itachi."
Deidara stares into a glowing red eye in horror.
"Stronger than me."
Deidara couldn't breathe. Waves were crashing down against the rocky cliffs. He wasn't imagining things—that was a Sharingan. His legs gave in, and if it wasn't for Tobi's hand gripping onto his shoulder – he couldn't remember when that got there – Deidara would have collapsed. Everything in him was choking on reality. He hated this. He hated it so much. Tobi hadn't fooled him once, but twice. Deidara had suspected, but had brushed it off. The one time he didn't listen to his instincts! Paranoia and nothing rational, was what he called it. He should have seen it coming. He should have. He should have.
Tobi's other hand found its way against the tree next to his head, effectively trapping Deidara in his weakened, post-battle state. Caged, Deidara couldn't stop the feeling of vulnerability and defenselessness from reaching him. This was the angriest he'd seen Tobi. They were both riled up. The man's muscles were tight, his breathing harsh. What right did he have to feel antagonized? Tobi had double-crossed him!
He was furious with himself. He should have known. Tobi was a lying, sickening piece of shit. Scumbag. Fuck! Deidara shoved at the body in front of him. God dammit! Tobi didn't even twitch.
He was hurting. Every fibre of his being ached from the fight, and now from this. The Sharingan followed him like a plague. There was just no getting rid of it, was there? Tobi wasn't ever on his side. There was never any truth. He didn't want him to kill Sasuke and destroy the Sharingan – he wanted to protect it. That had to be why he stopped him from using his C0. All this bullshit of wanting Deidara alive wasn't going to fool him. Tobi never cared.
Fake.
He was fake. The body behind that mask was filled with nothing but lies.
Sharp prickles stung behind his eyes, and Deidara had to force the tears back down. He wasn't going to cry, not over something like this. After a shaky breath, he faced down the cardinal drop of blood, determined to prove himself and Tobi wrong. The glow of it would terrify civilians. The iris didn't reflect light; it just sucked the world in and let its own colours out. The eye was inhuman.
Deidara hated red. He's never hated it more than he did now. Red. Red. Red.
The eyes of death.
Something cold pushed against his cheek and from a nightmare, he woke up. Gasping for breath, he surfaced from the ocean's turmoil, fat droplets of rain pelting down on his sunny skin. To think he'd be murdered by a kunai, by the one person he gave a damn about.
His nerve pathways had been overwhelmed from the fight, and his body exhausted from the stress. That was why it took longer than it should have for him to perceive the oddness of the weapon's texture. It wasn't a blade hovering over his jaw. No, Tobi's skin was grazing his. For the first time in Deidara's presence, unbelievably soft fingers were free from leather. They were so cold to the touch, like the metal of knives.
"We're not enemies, Deidara," Tobi said.
He lifted his chin, and the icy hand slid with the movement. He shivered at the sensation of cool skin brushing against his own, "That's not for you to decide, hm."
"I'm still Tobi."
The swirly, orange mask was everywhere, and Deidara couldn't take it anymore. Scrambling for something – anything, he had to force himself not to scream, "You lied. You've been lying since I can remember, hm."
"I'm sorry. I've kept secrets, strung you along... deceived you. But I've never lied to you, and I never will."
"You said you didn't have the Sharingan."
"Do you remember my response?" Tobi's hand cupped his face, thumb trailing across his chin, settling at his jaw. Tobi's palm was even softer than his fingers. He always had his gloves on, that had to be why – shit.
Deidara struggled to think, but Tobi was so fucking close, and his eye was bright and hell, he felt like a cornered animal like this. The panic ignited his rage and after that, it didn't take long for the memories to come back. They hit him, hard. Pieces of the void, black puzzle fit into place.
He stammered in his trepidation, recalling Tobi's answer, "You're—you... You're the leader of the Akatsuki. Not Pein, hm."
Tobi didn't nod or outright agree. Instead, he leaned into Deidara's ear, murmuring, "I've been whispering things into his ears. He doesn't realize he's been my pawn since the beginning."
The shock could have floored him.
So, then.
Tobi had been manipulating the Akatsuki from the start. How cunning. Deidara couldn't bring himself to care about the organization's mission or success. It was just that Deidara wondered about Tobi's motives. Why the secrecy? Tobi could have just declared himself leader and been done with it.
He frowned, voicing his train of thought, "What's your personal goal?"
It wasn't Tobi's disposition that was ominous, but his words, "It's not about what I want. It's what this fruitless, miserable world needs. I'm going to take over this hellish nightmare and build a utopia. There will be no more senseless death. The world will finally grasp the concept of Nirvana."
Deidara was left nearly speechless.
Tobi wanted to rule the world. A statement like that sounded childish, but coming from his mouth, with that eye, was terrifying. He swallowed the bile in his throat, "And how do plan to do that?"
"With the tailed beasts," Tobi paused, "But certain... variables have me hesitating to continue."
The Sharingan was suffocating.
Tobi had said he saw beauty in life, that he wanted people to stop killing each other. He hated the world as it was now. Deidara didn't smile, "If this world is hell, then why are you stopping me from leaving it?"
"Because you are the variable," Tobi said. The man leaned back, except his hands didn't budge. One still gripped his shoulder and the other tight around his jaw. Words grounding, Tobi continued, "You are preventing me from completing my life's work."
Deidara couldn't list any reasons to how or why he would be responsible for something like that, but a part of him was selfishly pleased. It was only fair. Tobi wouldn't let him reach his calling, so why should he? Deidara didn't believe in carrying such childish thoughts, but Tobi was so adamant on keeping him alive. Tobi had been watching over the Akatsuki for years, just like he had been creating art since he could dig his fingers into clay. Deidara didn't think Tobi could tell him not to follow his philosophy and not expect the same to be returned to him. Deidara's heart and soul was ready die. Not now, but in the midst of battle, when he needed to draw his final playing card. When his body was at its limit, heightened and waiting for a spark. Tobi had snuffed out his flame, and now he'd have to work towards reigniting it.
Beyond that...
Even if Tobi somehow used the tailed beasts and successfully pulled through, what would be the end? People would be chained. They'd have no room for freedom. Everyone would be under the influence of a single mind. There was no beauty in that. Deidara never had a desire to raise his stature in politics, social standing, and sovereignty. He believed true power was physical and spiritual in nature, and had everything to do with heightening your own potential. It didn't matter who feared your strength, if it was false to begin with. It was one thing to fear a bomb before its explosion, and a whole other feeling, one that was a rush of clarity and absence of fear, after its detonation.
Nothing good could come out of attempting to take over the world. From the information Deidara had gathered, the odds of Tobi's failure was high. The chakra and strength of the tailed beasts weren't enough to overpower every shinobi alive. Yeah, the Akatsuki would aid in firepower, but he wasn't so vain to say they were strong enough to gain full control of the world, much less maintain it. Build a utopia for the greater good? Who cared about the happiness of other people. World peace. Ha. Deidara had been alive long enough to know violence and hatred would never end. It was a cycle. Why fight it, when you could embrace it? Tobi, with his misguided sense of purpose, would leave the world fading away. Tobi could die over something so stupid. It wouldn't be an ending fit for him.
Deidara warned, "You're going to die, hm."
"Hm. Is that so?" Tobi asked, a cold finger tapped against his cheek with each syllable.
He gritted, "Yes."
Tobi's Sharingan rolled down, zeroing in on the stitches on his chest, "Aren't endings a bang?"
It didn't sound mocking, or confused. It didn't sound like anything at all. Tobi's tone was void of emotion. Deidara was defensive, "They are, hm. But what you want won't be a bang. You'll die unhappy, because hatred will always be around. You can't change human emotions, hm. Don't be stupid, Tobi. You're not going to survive whatever the hell you're planning. You can't die like that."
Tobi squeezed against his jaw, teasing, "And why not? You sound worried."
Deidara scoffed. He couldn't bring himself to deny it out loud, but nothing was stopping him from thinking it. Instead he voiced his other concern, "Let's pretend you survive and win. This utopia you're going for? It won't work. Everyone has different ideas of perfection. They'd end up at each other's throats, in the end."
"Perhaps. Perhaps not. There are more forces at play here. But for now, you can rest easy. The plan has been put on hold. I'm following your advice," Tobi released his jaw and shoulder, taking a step back. Deidara had to grip onto the tree behind him so he wouldn't collapse. The Sharingan didn't disappear, "I've grown tired of this battle between heart and mind."
That was fine. For now, at least. Deidara didn't think he had any right – or strength – to try and stop Tobi, but he wouldn't support his endgame. Tobi could do what he wanted, as long as it didn't get in his way. Deidara was disappointed. He rubbed at the reddening flesh above his neck. A dark, bitter feeling thickened inside him. It felt like betrayal. They had a bond. A frail one, but a bond. If it had been anyone else, it wouldn't have mattered. Deidara didn't owe a stranger anything, and didn't expect anything in return. The idea that Tobi just used him – like a tool – to accomplish his useless plan pissed him off.
He snapped, "And why do you want me alive so badly, hm? Am I another one of your pawns?"
Tobi's Sharingan disappeared, as though he was closing his eyes. He was silent for a moment, "At first, that was exactly what you were. Everything had been a means to an end. Then something changed, along the way."
"Enlighten me, hm. What changed?"
"You gave me a source of light," the red eye was back, and he doubted he'd ever get used to seeing it. The Sharingan recorded everything. Tobi would remember all of this, "All that's left is for me to find my way out. Whether I escape out the way I came in, or by a route that may not even exist, is a matter of the future – but we're not thinking about that, now are we? Let's live in the moment."
Huh.
Tobi was beginning to understand true art. Deidara, on top of the loathing festering inside him, was proud of them both. Tobi had a terrible outlook on life and death, yet Deidara had managed to advocate the importance of fulfillment. Maybe he was even saving his partner from himself. The intrusion of good in Tob's life was clearly tormenting him. Just how comfortable was Tobi with suffering, if he didn't want to feel happiness?
Thoughts were racing through his head and he only had so much time to digest each one. He remembered the broken, porcelain skin and coal eye, both brief glimpses gifted under a curtain of black sky. He thought of the nightmare that was the man's mind, the aftermath of an explosion, pieces hastily stuck together in hopes of preservation. A crushed, faded collection hid for eternity under a dizzying image of false brightness, orange. The shadows of the forestry danced over his mask, and Deidara didn't think the daylight complimented him as much as the darkness did. Tobi was the embodiment of night, this he knew. There weren't many who had a body and soul so harmonized with the colours of despair.
Deidara stated simply, "You're an Uchiha."
"Yes, I am," Tobi confirmed, bringing it out into the world.
Everything settled into place.
The Uchiha clan was massacred, so of course no one would think Tobi was one of them. Deidara didn't even think about making the connection. Did this information fly over Itachi's head? The man had been the one to murder all of them. Or was he aware of Tobi's identity? Maybe he spared Tobi's life, for one reason or another. The thought of Itachi brought back a blaze of emotions he didn't want to feel.
Looking off to the side, he reminded, "You know I hate the Sharingan, and the Uchiha especially, hm."
"Deidara."
"...Tobi."
The Uchiha didn't waver, "My body may carry the clan's blood, but Tobi is just Tobi. Remember that. I'm not Itachi, nor am I his little brother. My eyes still see your strength. They always have."
.
.
.
Deidara stared at the hand reached out to him, or more precisely, the crumpled piece of paper in it. There were no gloves this time, just strong, solid fingers gently holding onto a thin parchment.
It was crudely drawn, a step above chicken scratch and a jump down realism. But each stroke of ink had intention, and Deidara had never been more moved in his entire life. It was him, posed and ready to call out 'katsu'. Beside it was another sketch of him, relaxed and smiling. Underneath that, he was flying, his hair's length a tad too exaggerated. Before this, no one had ever used him as a muse. He remembered the day Tobi had a burst of inspiration. It was a long time ago. That was the same sheet of paper Deidara handed him when they had a bowl of cherries between them. He kept the drawing, this whole time?
"Keep it," Tobi guided his hand closer.
He hesitated to grab it, but eventually did. The paper was unlike his clay, flimsy and not sturdy, dry rather than wet, and delicate, so opposite of the earth meant for molding. He smoothed out the crinkles.
"All I knew was how to hate," Tobi withdrew his hand, slipping on his glove, "Hate was the air I breathed."
Deidara stared blankly at the drawing.
"You're everything I forgot humans could be. Happy. Passionate. Alive. If only they all carried what you do."
Those last words were the quietest, not meant for Deidara to hear, and they brought the hairs up on the back of his neck. 'To take over the world'. Tobi was the first man he met who hadn't just had the thought cross his mind, but acted on it as well. Every move Tobi made must have been to support his drastic belief. The man was blinded. The world could never be utopian. And Tobi believed this so passionately, was so certain it would work, and continued to for years.
Insanity.
He rolled up the parchment, tucking it into his pouch. Maybe he'd keep it. Tobi had stuck by him – had his back, despite being an Uchiha with the Sharingan.
The man was a chronic liar, but...
"I hadn't realized how awful hatred was until I met you. Thank you for introducing me to joy," Tobi said.
...but this didn't feel like a lie. It was genuine. Silence stretched out and Deidara looked up from his hands. Tobi was walking away.
"Hold on! Where are you going?!" Deidara struggled to follow him, limbs shaking and sore from the fight with the Uchiha brat.
Tobi stopped and turned around completely.
"You can't just say something like that and walk away!"
"You were meant to die today," Tobi spoke, voice flat, "But I'm giving you time, Deidara. You have permission to leave the Akatsuki, should it please you."
A calm breeze shook the forestry around them.
He could leave? Deidara's eyes widened. If Tobi had control over the Akatsuki, over Pein, then it would be an official resignation. This meant he wouldn't be actively hunted down by S-Ranked nin, and classified as a traitor. He had always wanted his freedom returned to him. This was finally it.
Deidara didn't register his own laughter until it died down and he was left grinning madly. How coincidental was it that the Sharingan forced him into this mess and now years later, got him out of it? Deidara leaned his head back, staring up at the leaves hiding the sky, "Finally!"
He liked the arrangement of the Akatsuki, being able to go on missions and be given targets to wipe out. The consistent pay was also nice. If it wasn't for the organization, Deidara wouldn't be as strong as he was today. But this wasn't his way. He had reached his maximum potential within the limits of structure. Now, the Akatsuki was holding him back. He couldn't test out more dangerous bombs because the destruction would "sabotage the mission" or they were limited by time. He was finally getting a chance to get stronger on his own. He'd have more opportunities to thrive, being alone. Just like Tobi had suggested, he'd create a bomb similar to his C0, one that didn't come at the expense of his own life. He wouldn't mind living just long enough to see something that magnificent in action. If he died in the process, so be it. Deidara was more than ready for death; he longed for the day.
Maybe he didn't get a chance to complete his art work today, but now more doors were opened. He was already stronger than Sasuke. He'd get stronger than Itachi. And he'd kick Tobi's ass too. He'd prove all of them they were wrong. The eyes were incredible, but everything had to come to an end, even the Sharingan. This was too good to be true.
Tobi had looked up to him all this time. Tobi had nothing to gain by pretending to respect him, and then to let him go right after. His partner – ex-partner – knew reverse psychology wouldn't work on him, not when his dreams were offered like bomb dropped from the skies. Deidara wasn't the kind of guy to not go after what he wanted. Tobi was aware of this, and everyone else was too. Logically, Tobi wouldn't be lying about his appreciation for Deidara. And more importantly, his intuition was telling him Tobi meant no harm.
He just had to be sure.
"What's the catch?" he asked.
The swirly, orange mask shook left and right, then left again, "There isn't one. You're free."
Free. It hurt to swallow. Deidara nodded. He suddenly wished the tree was still behind him, so he could lean his weight against it, since he completely ran out of strength.
Tobi held out his hand, "Your ring."
The air was tense but not, all at once. This wasn't his C0, but with the explosion of emotions bursting out of him, it may as well have been. Deidara lifted his right hand, both dread and excitement erupting out of is heart. He slid the ring off with ease. Immediately, everything felt lighter. He smiled, dropping the metal jewellery into Tobi's hand.
Watching him, the man tucked the ring into a hidden pocket in his cloak.
He'd miss Tobi, and not just a little. He'd miss Tobi a lot. Deidara glanced up at him, who's eye was redder than blood. Deidara couldn't believe he was thinking this, but he had a soft spot for him. The man was the first person Deidara cared about since he left his village. He'd miss the idiot's jokes, even if Tobi really wasn't an idiot. He wouldn't ever forget the awe in Tobi's voice, muffled under the ringing of his ears and rush of wind after a detonation. He wanted to forget about the pale, porcelain lips and wrinkled skin, but doubted he would. Deidara promised himself he'd always remember the cracked ruby gleaming from under the blanket of shadow – a reminder to never underestimate the Sharingan, ever again.
Well, this was it.
Until a thought struck him.
"Hey, Tobi. If that's all that's under your mask, can I see your face?"
Tobi took a step closer, then cocked his head, "Eh, senpai! Don't you suppose you're testing my generosity?"
Old Tobi was back. In other words, the answer was no.
"Who knows if we'll ever cross paths again," he said, wobbling. After tripping, he pointed to his ex-partner's shoulder, "Can I?"
Tobi's eye followed where his finger was aimed, before the man nodded. Consciously forcing himself not to hesitate, Deidara grabbed onto Tobi's shoulder to support his weight.
His partner commented, tone like honey, "You're a mess, senpai."
"Shut up, hm."
Tobi did. Pulling Deidara into an embrace, Tobi's arms snaked around his waist. There was less fabric this time, since his shirt had been torn to shreds. Tobi's body heat was even warmer, and Deidara wondered how the man could be so warm if his hands were like ice. He hesitated, but hugged him back.
"I've been meaning to ask, where are we? How did we get here?"
"The same technique Kakashi Hatake used to remove your elbow," Tobi began, and at Deidara's tensing muscles, quickly explained, "Our Sharingan are connected to a different dimension. I used it as a portal to teleport us to these co-ordinates. We're a good distance South from our previous location."
How did Kakashi and Tobi share the same technique? Wait a minute... Kakashi also used a Sharingan, but he wasn't an Uchiha. Tobi only used his right eye. Deidara realized, "He has your left eye! Hm. How is that possible?"
"It's a long story," Tobi said.
It didn't sound like Tobi was ready to talk about it. That was annoying, since he'd probably never get to hear it, but he could respect his privacy. Deidara figured he was asking for too much. He recalled how smooth Tobi's 'Kamui' was in comparison to the silver-haired shinobi. The difference in experience was terrifying. Tobi was even able to use it on himself, safely. If he could do that, didn't that also mean it was possible he could send just a piece of himself to the other dimension? That would explain how objects could phase through him. It would also mean chakra-attacks would pass through him, since his body wouldn't even be in this realm.
Deidara smirked, despite himself, "Kakashi's aim was off. He needs more practice."
"The Sharingan rejects non-Uchiha. Using an advanced ability like Kamui would only drain his chakra. That wretched ingrate could never comprehend its true capabilities."
It didn't sound like Tobi was fond of Kakashi. Good. That fucker took out his elbow. Deidara wondered if they had a history, and if they knew each other, or if Kakashi had stolen the eye.
There had to be a way to counter Kamui. Deidara would figure it out, but first he wanted to defeat Itachi. He wouldn't rest until that bastard was dead. He could feel it in his bones; he had potential to be greater. But Itachi would be hard to find once he left. It'd be near impossible to keep tabs on him and stay up to date on his strength. He could return years later to find the Uchiha dead, Deidara's kill stolen, like how Sasuke took out Orochimaru. He knew how difficult it was to track the Akatsuki, and how dangerous it was to shadow them. Deidara didn't think Pein would stand by idly as an ex-member trailed their movements, with or without Tobi's influence.
Deidara was surprised to find he was doubting himself. Was leaving the Akatsuki really what he wanted? It wasn't like he had a bad time growing up with them. He did have a problem with being forced into the organization by a damned Uchiha who didn't give shits about anything. That was really it, wasn't it? He hated the eyes, the Uchiha, but mostly... mostly he just hated anyone who reminded him of Itachi. He had no qualms with Tobi, as no matter how hard he tried to feel underestimated by him and his eye, he couldn't. Tobi never looked down on him, like Itachi, Sasuke, and sometimes Sasori had. While he couldn't overlook or ignore his partner's Uchiha blood, he could recognize loyalty when he saw it.
Tobi was a private man, but above all, he was a shinobi. And shinobi kept secrets. He wasn't obligated to share everything. Deidara had to take a minute and remind himself that. It wasn't personal. Tobi wasn't hiding his lineage from only Deidara, but everybody. But it was now that Tobi trusted him with that terrifying information. He could admit how sharing to the world that he had the Sharingan could be a battle tactic loss, but telling him that he was an Uchiha? That was not something to take lightly. If word got out that there were more Uchiha than solely the two brothers, it would cause an upstir. Tobi would be hunted down. Itachi – if he didn't already know – might try and kill him. Not only that, but Deidara often went on tangents about his hatred for Itachi. He figured Tobi would be less inclined to out his secret if Deidara was throwing threats left and right. For these reasons, Deidara could understand why Tobi wouldn't want to share, despite their partnership and loose friendship. It still hurt his pride to find it took so long for him to do so.
Deidara respected the skills of each member in the Akatsuki, even Itachi's. There was an artistic quality in all of them, not one missing the threshold of talent required to earn his recognition. Hidan was gruesome, but fearless. Kakuzu was a seasoned warrior. The pair of them transcended the limitations of mortality, never needing to sacrifice emotions, like Sasori had made the mistake of doing. Zetsu's talents were incredible and always had him on edge, which not many could do. Aside from his jaw-dropping, endless chakra, Kisame, from the few conversations they shared, seemed to have the most tolerable personality of the whole group. Deidara liked him, but despised how he saw something in Itachi that Deidara didn't. Itachi was an apathetic rock, but he was also a genius lucky to possess the remarkable Sharingan. Sasori had been obsessive about a field Deidara was passionate about. He had been an artist Deidara spent his childhood searching for, someone to look up to and share interests with. Konan was a mystery, and Pein? A god.
He was surrounded by some of the best shinobi the world had to offer, each beautiful in their own way. Tobi, the most. Of what he knew about the man, and the boy counterpart, Tobi was a work of art. His views didn't meet Deidara's requirements for sublimity, but when did art ever require anything but passion? Tobi was a masterpiece, just on the other end of a spectrum. Deidara found the man impressive, a mastermind – albeit a psychotic one – and powerful. Tobi was an Uchiha with a Sharingan who never looked down on him. Not once. Damn.
And Tobi was comfortable. Everything about him was so comfortable. Deidara never enjoyed the feeling of security, or routine. It got bland. He never knew it could put him at ease. He didn't think he could trust Tobi the way he used to – if he even used to. But there would never be anyone else he could turn to when he had something to say, or go to when the shinobi's inescapable feelings of loneliness reached him. He inhaled deeply, unconsciously taking in Tobi's familiar scent. It was a thick, dynamic scent he couldn't place. He was ready to leave the organization, but not Tobi... his friend.
Mind made up, he detached himself from his partner's grasp, "Tobi."
"Ye-ah?" Tobi's voice cracked. Aw geez, was he crying? Deidara really hoped not. He didn't know what to do. He wasn't the best at comforting, and he wasn't going to feel guilty over this.
Opting for feigning ignorance, because it was better to pretend he didn't notice, Deidara cleared his throat, "I've changed my mind."
"Huh? What are you saying?"
"Give me back my ring, I'm staying, hm," Deidara nodded.
A few years ago, he would have left without another thought. But he's matured now. That reckless streak which clung to him throughout childhood was detaching itself. Deidara He wasn't ready to leave. Where would he go? He was injured and hanging on by a thread. If he walked away right now, chakra exhaustion would kill him, if another rogue didn't. Besides that, he could always just walk away whenever he wanted to. Deidara had leverage over him, should worse come to worse. If Tobi could trust him with confidential knowledge, then Deidara would stay for a bit longer. He was Tobi's "light", the only thing stopping the Uchiha from either ruining the world, himself, or both. And Deidara was selfish. It felt good to be at the center of attention.
Tobi wasn't that bad to be around either. It was easily better being with him than being alone.
"You're not mad at me?"
"I'm over it," it still pissed him off, but he always moved on, "Not because I don't care if I'm lied to. I'll forgive you, because you gave me a choice, and that's freedom itself. So I choose to stay."
Tobi took a step back, rubbing the back of his head, "Ahaa...! Senpai, that's not a very funny joke! It's not nice to play with my hopes like that."
Deidara frowned, "I'm serious. I'll stay with you, hm, but I don't know for how long."
"Oh. Oh," Tobi made a show of grabbing for the ring in his coat pocket, voice excited, "Quick, quick, Tobi! Before senpai changes his mind! Ack, I can't find it! Ah, no, where are you, ring? My hiding skills may be ex-cep-tion-al, but seeking I'm not too confident about... Hey! This is shiny! Wait, no, that's my own ring. Oh, where o' where?!"
Sighing, Deidara bent down to pick up the little piece of metal from the ground. It had fallen from Tobi's hands while he was rummaging around in his pockets. Light reflecting off it, Deidara held the ring up between his fingers, "It's here."
Tobi gasped, "No way! You had it the whole time? I could'a sworn you gave it to me..."
"You fool," Deidara smirked. Comfortable.
He coughed suddenly. It wasn't a pretty cough either. The force of it was enough to startle Tobi, who grabbed him before he collapsed for the millionth time that day. Deidara felt stoach acid coming up and figured he'd be dry-heaving for the rest of the day. He stared at his palms. Two crooked grins looked back at him, one with blood dripping down his wrist.
When he looked back up they were in a different clearing. Tobi was pointing towards a little burrow. Reality snapped them out of whatever not-here state they were in, and his survival instincts took control. Deidara nodded, limping to the small safe-haven. They'd have to hide and wait until their enemies cleared the forest, or until Deidara recovered, before they could move on. By the way Tobi didn't follow him, he figured Tobi had to go somewhere else.
"I've important matters to attend to! Zetsu will be looking for me," he said, "Be careful, Dei-chan! I'll be back in a jiff."
Of course, he already knew that. He was an S-Ranked nin for reason. That being said, if Itachi's kid brother showed up, he'd make sure the brat wouldn't live to see another day. His being still itched to end his fight, and he couldn't think of a better way to get back at Itachi than to kill his family. The kid was desperate to know where his older brother was, and if he had any fight left in him, would hunt down the Akatsuki until he got his answers. Deidara blatantly ignored how he was shaking and suffering from severe chakra-exhaustion.
He confirmed, "Yeah, hm."
The air started swirling, but before they parted ways, Tobi asked, "Is this a goodbye, senpai?"
Deidara didn't miss a beat, giving him the reassurance he needed, "No. It's an I'll see you later, kohai."
Tobi, why can't you just say the three magic words?
Also,
I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS SCENE SINCE CHAPTER ONE.