Grapes

"Indulgence."
.

Tobi cannot believe he nearly lost Deidara. He'd expected it, a part of him desperately yearned for it, because that meant all this hesitation would disappear for good, but he hadn't been ready for it. He'd never be ready for it, because it was too late. He was in too deep. There was no way out. Deidara had to live, otherwise the last piece of his mind would break. He needed Deidara. He'd die again, without him. The man had become the air he breathed. His Senju DNA demanded for no physiological needs, but his heart had found a replacement.

Tobi hadn't meant to offer Deidara a way out. It had slipped, and he'd almost regret the words instantly, because without doubt, he'd lose his partner for good. But the proposal felt right, almost like a way to undo all his wrongs upon Deidara. Then that... that fool refused. He didn't leave. Almost a week had passed, and his partner stayed, true to his word. Why he was forgiven, he couldn't comprehend. The man had looked beyond the Sharingan he despised, choosing to accept him, Tobi, instead.

Tobi didn't deserve him. How could a corrupted, hollow thing like Tobi earn the loyalty of someone like Deidara? He ran a hand through his hair.

He would do anything for Deidara.

Anything, but let him die.

Nearly a week, and the thought still had his blood boiling strong. He'd never been more terrified in his life, not when the boulder crushed him, nor in the split second between Hatake's Chidori and Rin's chest. He couldn't get the image of the thick stitching out of his head, nor the tanned fingers tucked under the wiring. Measly, little strings kept a mouth capable of flattening mountains closed shut. Deidara had explained his final jutsu to him, told him he wouldn't use it if "the moment didn't feel right", whatever that meant. If Tobi could help it, he'd make sure there was never a "right" moment. He'd keep Deidara away from Itachi and his brother. And testing Sasuke's strength had been an asset, but to what cost? Everything that mattered. Deidara was all he had left. Damn the Moon's Eye Plan! The world could wait. He would be selfish.

For half of his life, he stopped caring. And now Deidara, one meagre body of flesh, had his control collapse in on itself. It had been a long time since he felt a thirst for blood. First that blasted daimyo and now this baby Uchiha. Yet, Tobi wasn't tactless enough to kill him. Sasuke would grow strong, and in his emotionally broken state, would be easy to manipulate. Itachi's brother had to live, but that did not mean Deidara had to die. Sasuke was just an asset, his pawn, his tool. Sasuke was expendable. Whether he changed his mind for the hundredth time and decided to further the Moon's Eye plan, or continued his current path and sought to reverse what he'd done, he'd need as many allies as possible. Either he'd be fighting thousands of shinobi, or he'd be battling Pein. Whatever course the river led him, he'd be ready.

Tobi was the only one, save for Zetsu, who knew of the original plan to revive Madara. The spy would be another enemy to face, if he bailed on the plan. But once that final loose end was taken care of, he wouldn't have to worry about dealing with the war-demon, Madara. That hag would rot underground for all of eternity. Perhaps getting rid of Zetsu first was a better strategy. Pein would be easy to trick. He, too, carried a broken soul. Zetsu would be difficult to kill off quietly, as silent as the two halves could be.

However, if he planned it right, he could frame Madara's pet as a traitor. Tobi was wary of the deceased war-demon. Madara wouldn't have let him go without securing his loyalty. There was a jutsu placed on Tobi, and he could feel it in the edge of his mind, something tightening whenever his thoughts became too turbulent and treacherous. He had to find out what it was, and more importantly, how to get rid of it. Otherwise he wouldn't be able to move forward safely.

So maybe it would be simpler to let Pein take care of Zetsu with the Rinnegan. Perhaps there wouldn't need to be any playing around, and Tobi was trusted enough by Nagato to merely tell the man he wanted Zetsu dead. Pein didn't trust Madara, but he trusted his loyalty to the Akatsuki's mission of world peace. He'd ask why. Tobi would be vague, in character, and reply with "it's necessary" or "Zetsu's loyalty is elsewhere". Pein would assume something was gravely wrong, if Madara was willing to kill off a creature who followed him for so long. He would be suspicious, but wouldn't refuse if Tobi offered a replacement Akatsuki spy. Nagato didn't trust him; Tobi had known this from the beginning. As long as the Amegakure-nin continued to believe he was Madara, Tobi had Pein and Konan at his disposal. And if either got nosy, Tobi would spill out more lies. He'd kill them if he had too, but to face those eyes, he'd need Sasuke at full power.

No, he had to stop himself. For a few days, he would like to forget about plotting. This never-ending spiral of scheming was driving him down a directionless path.

Quiet footsteps trailed behind him. Half a year ago Deidara would walk ahead. A month ago, they moved side-by-side. Now, Deidara would fall back. Tobi despised it. What was his partner feeling, if it had come to this? Tobi feared the man felt lesser, now that his Sharingan had been revealed. Tobi remained skeptical. That couldn't be it. Deidara wasn't one to underestimate himself. He didn't even seem to notice the change.

Tobi knew a bad sign when he saw one. This was worrisome.

He stopped walking, grabbing his stomach, "Ne, senpai?"

"What now?" Deidara said, also coming to a stop. He saw Tobi's posture, "Are you hungry? It won't be too long before we reach the next town, hm."

"Nah," Tobi shrugged, then whined, "My stomach hurts!"

Deidara rose his brows, "Food poisoning?"

"Maybe. I think I'm gunna be sick," Tobi whimpered, faking it. It was a test – of course it was a test. He screwed his eyes shut. When would he stop with the tests? He didn't think he even could. Mistrust was engraved into his being. Tobi was alarmed to find he was ashamed of himself.

"Are... are you okay?"

His heart clenched. The man really did care about him. Deidara never considered to ask that before. It was astonishing what a little bit of honesty could do. Knowing there was room for him in Deidara's heart was enough to rekindle his puckered flame.

Overjoyed, and to break the tension, he giggled, "Psych!"

Deidara kicked him, heel smacking into his torso, "You ass!"

Tobi's head hit the ground with a thump, but he hardly noticed. He was quick to laugh, "Ahahaha! You were worried about me!"

His partner stormed forward, leaving Tobi behind.

That was better, Tobi thought, lips quirking up under his mask.

He didn't hurry to catch up, and when he did, he made sure to stay behind the artist. Tobi asked, "Hey, since we've got some free time, why don't we go do something adventurous?"

"What do you have in mind? Hm."

Tobi put a hand to his hip, "How about... We go on a ship? Think about the pirates, yar har!"

"Ships are slow and dull, hm."

"Gambling?" he offered.

"You're not serious."

An idea struck him, "We could scale a mountain!"

"How about we destroy a mountain?!" Deidara grinned with all his teeth, eyes sparkling.

"But we always do that! That's not adventurous!" Tobi shot back, "No offense."

Deidara narrowed his eyes, "Okay, so then what do you suggest?"

"Skinny dipping?"

"No."

"You don't want to see my six pack?"

"No! Idiot!" Deidara blushed furiously, then paused, "Unless you're going to take off your mask."

"Nope!" Tobi smirked, "Well anyways, since it's getting colder, let's go to the hot springs!"

"If you're so desperate to show off your body, why not just walk around shirtless?" Deidara was getting angry, and Tobi loved every second of it.

"But Hidan did that before he, er, you know... died - I thought he was immortal? Anyways, he had his own style, and it'd be weird to dress like him since he's not alive anymore. I don't want to be a copycat, you feel?"

Deidara sighed, "That's not even worth a response, hm."

They walked in a comfortable silence for a good mile. Tobi took the time to contemplate his position in the Akatsuki. As it were, he was "taking a break" from the Moon's Eye Plan. He wanted to keep all his doors open, but knew that would soon be impossible. Sasuke was getting stronger, and sooner or later he'd find his brother. When they clashed, he'd have to make his reveal. He'd break Sasuke. Until then, he figured it would be fine to lay low and let the other Akatsuki members grab the jinchuuriki. They were capable. Meanwhile, he needed to strengthen the relations he had with Deidara, if he hoped to create more concreate resolutions. And the only way to do so was to spend more time with his partner. Beyond his desperate need for closure, he wanted to make more memories with him, if all else failed.

"What do we do now, senpai?" Tobi scratched his head, "We completed our missions, and you're still in no state to fight!"

Deidara crossed his arms, "I am perfectly capable of fighting, Tobi! Hm!"

"If you say so," Tobi shrugged. He didn't doubt the man was, but it was easy to underestimate chakra exhaustion.

"We'll take up Kakuzu's job, since those immortals finally hit the hay," Deidara smirked, "For now, we'll just blast the shinobi listed in the bingo book and take hits from villages."

"Hm... I dunno if you can blow them up, senpai. Won't you have to leave evidence of their identities?"

Deidara's smile was sly, and he looked up at Tobi from beneath his lashes, "Trust me, hm."

Tobi couldn't stop the sharp shock of interest from running through him at the sight. Deidara was destruction. Such a huge soul packed into a fragile body of flesh.

There was hope.

They sat next to each other by the river, enough room for a beast of a man like Kisame to sit comfortably between them. Both men had their sandals off, feet dipped in the water for their toes be cleaned by the steady stream. Caked blood and grime fell off their skin with the current. Tobi saw the water flow by, but his eye was unseeing. From his peripherals, it was not hard to tell Deidara was unfocused, so it was his responsibility to keep his guard up.

Tobi was a master of analyzing human behaviour, his skills rivaled by few. It was easy for him to detach himself from emotions, to remove the subjective bias that came from observing and analyzing others. He was capable of forming the correct words, and stringing them together, to get the reaction he wanted out of any conversation. Tobi's ability to perceive another's thoughts, history, and habits, just by a twitch of their fingers or state of dress, was mastered. He was conscious of this, as modesty took away the confidence required to make use of these skills.

But here was Deidara, a complicated mixture of boy and man, who hid nothing from the world, but was impossible to predict. You'd expect anger, and he'd scoff it off, or happiness, but you'd see him frown. Like an itch you couldn't scratch, Deidara had him wanting. It wasn't the prospect of unpredictability that had Tobi's blood peaking in lust. It was how no matter what Deidara felt, he hid nothing. The man's soul was honest. Tobi didn't have to psychoanalyze every tidbit of him. Deidara just was.

So now, when an unreadable blue slate was boring down at him, emotions entirely blocked off the too handsome face, Tobi was deeply concerned.

Deidara was growing quieter by the day, or maybe even by the hour, from what Tobi could read. This was irregular behaviour from him. It was disturbing to see. The last time Deidara had acted like this was after he revealed his split personality. He had a clear reason to be withdrawn. Even then, with all the shock, he had been more boisterous. Deidara couldn't be angry. The man blew up when he was frustrated. Was Deidara experiencing sadness? Or was he simply calm? Tobi was desperate to know, but found he couldn't read him.

Since the revelation of his bloodline, Tobi continued to catch Deidara staring at him, well into his eye hole. He wonders what Deidara is thinking about when he searches for the Sharingan. Was he pleased, knowing he's tamed an Uchiha? Deidara had him on a leash, whether he was aware of it or not. Or was Deidara still angry, hurt, and feeling betrayed? Tobi flexed his fingers nervously.

Feeling the familiar sharp prickle up the side of his face, Tobi chided, "You're staring, senpai."

The "again" was unspoken, but Tobi didn't doubt Deidara was conscious of his scrutinizing. He was meticulous, as artists were. And this attention to detail had Deidara's eyes open and aware at all times. His intelligence was far superior than what anyone gave him credit for. Tobi had seen it with his own eye; Deidara had played chess with Sasuke. And that child's strategic strength was quickly approaching level with Itachi's. Deidara's acuteness was overlooked due to his brash attitude and wild eyes. The irony of it all was that enemies assumed him to be reckless, when really, he was anything but.

Another quick glimpse into Deidara's gaze, and Tobi was once again frustrated to find it unreadable.

"Give me a reason not to, hm," Deidara leaned back, arms stretched behind him to support his weight.

Tobi kicked his feet, splashing the water, "I don't mind. I was just wondering why. Is everything okay?"

His partner scoffed, turning his head to look away before Tobi could catch a glimpse of his expression, "That's a stupid question."

What was this? Tobi was not guilty. He did not regret his choices. He'd have made the same decisions, would have hidden his eye and lineage, no matter how he woke after the boulder, after Rin. It had been the only way to survive and keep moving forward. Tobi wouldn't have sacrificed anything for Deidara before these feelings surfaced. In fact, he had been ready to abandon Deidara at a moment's notice when the blond-haired child first joined his organization. Tobi did not feel guilt for these emotions, or more precisely, the lack of them. Because even now, behind the wholeness Deidara gave him, he was empty. There was no fixing a mind addicted to itself.

That was true, wasn't it? He was so comfortable with the mental state Tobi created for him. Hatred always had her arms open, welcoming him with a warm, inviting embrace. But like a genjutsu, that was a pretense. He was truly being dragged in by a barbed wire, metal wrapped around his throat like how his own fingers tended to curl around his enemy's windpipes. Hate weighed like a mountain in his heart, but its stillness anchored him. Hate was his stability.

Feeling good was foreign to him.

Like right then, he'd never felt so fortunate. Deidara chose him. He didn't care for Tobi's Sharingan, nor the Akatsuki, nor his own segregation. They had nothing to do, no missions or contracts. They were simply being, maybe not together, but by each other's side. And he was happy getting his cloak muddy, sitting at the river's edge, and soaking his feet with Deidara only a few feet away. This was hedonistic of him. He wasn't carrying a chalice of red wine and being fed grapes by slaves, but he felt overindulgent. Pleasure wasn't something he was familiar with, but he could admit, the moment was soothing. In times like these, he wanted love to bury his churning rage.

"You two are awfully quiet."

Both men snapped their heads to look over their shoulders. Deidara had a kunai pulled out of his hands in an instant, while Tobi was quick to relax. Zetsu. Damn it all, Tobi had let his guard down.

The darker, rumbling voice of Black Zetsu had spoken. White Zetsu was less threatening, "Hi Tobi."

Tobi didn't move his legs, but twisted and waved, "Zetsu! Woah-hoh! How've ya been, old friend?"

"Good, good. You look well." said White Zetsu. From the corner of his eye, Tobi saw Deidara tuck the glinting kunai back into his sleeve.

Black Zetsu was straight to the point, "Deidara."

Tobi watched his partner pull his legs out of the water. Their moment was ruined, unfortunately.

Deidara kept an eye on Zetsu, but also pulled on his sandals, "What do you want? Hm."

"Your fight against the Uchiha brat."

Tobi tensed. Zetsu had not been watching the battle, as per instruction. There was no point in having a spy to provide him intel if he was already at the scene. After revealing his Sharingan to Deidara and leaving him to meet up with the scout, he'd analyzed both the Black and White personalities to find out how much each knew. If they found out he was, not disobeying per se, but straying from Madara's instructions by disclosing information to Deidara, Zetsu would... what would Zetsu do?

They were weak as they were. They were aware he was not Madara, so he lost an edge against them. But they were still significantly more substandard in battle. Tobi did not need the strength of the ten-tails, nor the Rinnegan, to eliminate Zetsu. The spy was aware of this, so they would not directly challenge Tobi to combat. No, they would manipulate someone who could. If Zetsu became aware of his questionable alliance, he would use Pein, the only one capable of challenging him. Zetsu would likely inform Pein he was not Madara. The Akatsuki leader wouldn't be all too happy about that.

Tobi didn't watch Deidara's reactions to the conversation as closely as he did Zetsu's.

Deidara sounded peeved, "What about it, hm?"

"Sasuke's still alive," White Zetsu commented, his unearthly eye boring into Deidara, "And so are you."

"No shit. What's your point? Hm."

"We missed out on the juicy details. Pein wants to know how you escaped an Uchiha's wrath," White grinned, all teeth.

Tobi hadn't shared the specifications of Deidara's battle during their conversation a week ago. He'd commented on Sasuke's increasing strength, informed them that Deidara withdrew from the fight, and left like the vague character Zetsu believed Tobi was. It was enough information to satisfy Pein. Zetsu was lying. He wanted the information for himself.

"You waited a week to confront me?"

"We were busy."

Tobi observed Deidara, pleased to see he didn't spare him a glance when he replied, "I'll deliver the information to Pein myself, hm. Get lost."

"That's not very nice."

Black Zetsu was eyeing Tobi, "Drop it."

White Zetsu didn't look happy, but obeyed his other half's orders, "Are you upset you failed to finish off Itachi's brother?"

Needing to stay in character, Tobi interrupted, "Senpai was so strong! Don't you think you're bullying? That's not very nice."

White Zetsu smirked, "Sorry, Tobi."

"Let's go."

Tobi waited until he was sure they vanished. The scout was impossible to detect when he wasn't expecting them, but he'd familiarized himself enough with the creature's miniscule chakra to detect it, as long as he knew when and where to look.

Whatever moment he and Deidara shared, it was broken and over. Tobi kicked his legs in the air, so the water droplets would flick off his calves. When he set his feet on the grass, he caught Deidara staring at his skin. Thinking there was no harm in it, Tobi didn't make any move to show he'd noticed the intense gaze, but a pleasant tremble did crawl up his spine. It was when he reached for his sandals did Deidara snap out of his trance, abruptly standing to his feet.

"What was that all about?" Deidara murmured, words likely not meant for his ears. Deidara wiped imaginary dust off his cloak, then asked, "How'd you guys even meet? Hm."

Tobi was lazy about slipping back into his shoes, "White Zetsu found me after my accident and nursed me back to good health. Tobi is grateful!"

Deidara's brows rose, "Zetsu eats humans for pleasure, hm. I'm surprised you were spared."

"My charisma must have won them over," Tobi stood up, "White Zetsu's like my big brother! Black Zetsu though... I don't trust him."

A blue eye gazed at the spot where Zetsu last stood, "Yeah, hm. Me too."

And now we enter another arc in FotV.

Also, p.s., if you want to see a darling reader's fanart for chapter twelve, check out 'gensing' on deviantart. The piece is titled "Dancing". In fact, go bask yourself in all of gensing's work because they are sublime, and I am still shook.