Chapter 8

"Doctor Foreman is going to be operating on you, okay?" said Doctor Finch.
"Okay as in it's Doctor Foreman or okay as in 'is it okay that we're going to be cutting into your literal brain'?" asked Kate.
Finch, Foreman and Wilson each exchanged a look.
"Both," said Wilson.
Kate glared at Wilson but then looked to Foreman. "Do you have to shave my hair?"
"It's your brainstem so we can just shave the bottom two or so inches of your hair," said Foreman. "Think of it as an extreme undercut."
Kate touched the back of her head. "Can I think of it as cruel and unusual torture?"
"No," said Wilson flatly. "It's medical care."
Kate rubbed her eyes.
"You're scheduled first thing Monday," said Finch. "And you're jaundiced so please at the very least sit by the window for a while each day. Bonus if you actually go outside. Sunshine is a great medicine for many things."
"What bonus do I get?" asked Kate.
Finch shrugged. "Less jaundice? Fresh air? Elevated mood?"
"Woohoo," Kate said flatly.
"Doctor Foreman is going to talk you through the procedure and then you can have a few days to enjoy your dialysis and sunshine while awake," Finch smiled and left the room.
"What is that supposed to mean?" Kate asked, wide-eyed.
"Brain surgery is rough," said Foreman. "You'll be in a lot of pain, and your brain will probably swell a little from the trauma, it's best if after the surgery we keep you under for a little while."
"Right…"
"Okay," Foreman began and picked up a board with a diagram of a brain and brainstem on it, "so we'll have you lying face down, and I'll make an incision here," Foreman showed Kate where on the board. "Clean out the white matter first, and then the mass. I'm 90% sure I'll be able to get it all and then we'll biopsy the mass."
"For cancer?" Kate asked.
"Yeah."
"And if it is?"
Doctor Foreman was about to answer but Wilson cut in, "We'll deal with that if we have to."
Kate bit her lip but nodded.
"You okay?" asked Foreman.
"Livin' the dream," said Kate.
Doctor Foreman touched her leg under the blanket, smiled and left.
"Kate…" Wilson started but didn't know where to go with the sentence.
"Can I see my mom?" Kate asked without making eye contact.
Wilson nodded. "Yeah, I'll – I'll call her."

Wilson went to office to make the call. He didn't want to make the call, but he wasn't cruel and knew that having brain surgery was something that a child's mother should be aware of and there for. He called the number.
"Hello?"
"Colleen, it's James."
A sigh. "What?"
"Kate's asking for you…"
"Of course she is."
Wilson rubbed his face.
"You're the one who's banned me from the hospital," Colleen continued.
"Look, Kate's…she's having brain surgery on Monday."
"What?!"
"She has a mass and white matter that we need to remove."
"Oh my god."
"It should be fine, but Kate's asked for you."
"I'm coming now."
"No, you're coming on Monday morning once I've cleared it with my boss."
"When?"
"Seven."
"Great."
"Colleen…it's…it's a side effect of the poisoning."
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"A tox screen, Kate's symptoms, child services, and your husband's arrest all say otherwise."
"Doug has raised Kate like a father."
"I'm her father."
"She spends a week total with you a year."
"And whose fault is that? You and Doug took those jobs across the country without telling me and slapped that information on me once I'd already accepted my internship. What was I supposed to do?"
Colleen huffed down the line. "Nothing. Of course. You did what you were supposed to do. You paid child support, you took her when we asked, never complained, never sued. You have been perfectly reasonable for the past 10 years but now for some reason you've got it in your head that those 10 years mean nothing. Doug raising her, feeding her, giving Katie a roof over her head, clothes on her back, it all means nothing."
"You promised you'd keep her safe," Wilson said softly.
"What?"
"That night, when you told me about the move. And you had your plan all laid out, you said you'd keep Kate safe. You promised, I remember your exact words: She'll be fine, James. She'll be in a good home. I'll keep her safe. Doug and I will take care of Kate, she'll be well-loved. And now she's lying in a hospital bed for over a month, with organ failure and multiple surgeries on her and a freaking brain tumor! All because of what your son of a bitch husband did! How the hell could you let that happen? She's our daughter, Colleen!"
Colleen was silent on the phone for a moment. "I tried, James. I did. You don't know what it takes to raise a child. I tried to keep her safe. But this…this wasn't my doing."
James sighed. It wasn't worth his energy. "I'll see you Monday." He hung up. He knew what had happened to Kate wasn't an accident. But he didn't actually know how much Colleen knew.

Toby came to visit Kate on Saturday, he looked out of place, and a little scared. He had brought a small bunch of flowers from the grocery store near his house but now they were looking a little drab after the crowded bus ride. He finally made it to Kate's room. Thankfully there was a whole wall of glass or he would've been looking around for ages. Kate waved him in.
"What are you doing here?" she asked.
"Visiting my friend," said Toby. "Here, these are for you," he said, handing Kate the flowers.
She smelled them. "Thanks. How did you know I was here?"
"Oh I saw an article in the newspaper a few days ago, about your dad? And then I called the hospital, and they said you were here, so here I am!" he grinned widely.
"There was an article in the paper?"
Toby waved his hands. "They didn't mention you by name, but they named your dad so I…yeah." Toby shifted his feet. "So rat poison, huh?"
Kate shrugged. "That's what they keep telling me."
"Are you getting better?"
"They're cutting into my head on Monday so…no, not really." Kate put the flowers on her side table.
"Brain surgery is not the same as cutting into your head," said Wilson coming into the room. He raised his eyebrows at Toby.
"Oh I'm Toby," said Toby. "I'm Kate's friend."
"Uh huh." Wilson seemed unimpressed.
"You Kate's doctor?"
"No."
Kate rolled her eyes. "Toby this is my dad."
Toby's eyes went wide. "Rat poison guy?!" he yelled.
"No!" yelled Kate, reaching her hand out to grab Toby by the arm. "That was my stepdad, this is my dad…dad," Kate tried to explain.
"Oh," Toby nodded. "The 'good guy' dad?" he asked Kate.
Wilson smiled a cheesy grin at Kate.
Kate threw her head back on her pillow and her arms over her face.
"Didn't realise there was a 'bad guy' dad," said Wilson. "Is that perhaps acceptance creeping in?" he joked.
"Nah man," said Toby. "She was calling you that before the poisoning thing. There's 'creepy stepdad' and 'doctor good guy' dad. You're a cancer doctor, right?"
Wilson raised his eyebrows but didn't correct Toby, "Yeah."
"Yeah Katie always says nice things about you. She complains that you're over-protective but I think she actually likes it," he whispered the last part, but Kate heard it from under her arms. She pulled her arms off her face in time to see Wilson smile at her.
"Have fun with your friend," he left the room.
Toby smiled at Kate and sat down.
"You've ruined a perfectly neutral relationship there, Toby."
Toby frowned. "I don't understand."
"My dad is…he thinks he knows what's best for me."
"And he doesn't?"
Kate shook her head. "Actually no. He's usually right, I just…I don't want him to know that."
"Why not? He seems cool."
"You just met him?"
Toby shrugged. "And he seemed cool. Why don't you want him to know that he knows what you need? He's your dad."
"It's…complicated."
Toby just stared at Kate, waiting for the answer.
"I don't want him to have to worry about me."
Toby waited for her expectantly.
Kate leaned back on the pillow and stared up at the ceiling. "He's not supposed to worry about me. I usually see him a grand total of 7 nights a year. And he's always nice, he always cares, but it's…temporary. I've been stuck in this hospital for weeks. And he's the only family I've been able to see. I know he's not doing enough work because he's checking up on me and that wasn't the deal."
"You and your dad have a deal?"
Kate shook her head. "He and my mom. Mom said that Dad had enough to worry about with his internship as a doctor, he didn't have the energy to worry about me. She made Dad a deal that if she took me with her and Doug that they'd take care of me and that Dad didn't need to see me more than he could handle."
"Sounds like a shit deal to me."
Kate laughed. "They made it when I was four, but it didn't change. His current wife, Julie, doesn't even like me much. In fact, I think she dreads when I visit. And now Dad's hanging out here with me all the time, and working, so god knows what she thinks of me now." Kate closed her eyes.
"Why do you care what your stepmom thinks of you?"
"I don't really. But then she'll complain to Dad and Dad will do his overprotective thing and then they'll fight and…" Kate sighed. She'd never had to verbalize any of this before. "I don't like it when people fight because of me."
Toby took Kate's hand. She looked at him. "People don't fight over other people."
"Toby, you're wrong."
He shook his head and let go of her hand. "People fight because of themselves. You might be a part of the conversation, but you're not the reason for the fight."
"When did you get so wise?" Kate asked with a smirk.
Toby shrugs. "I read. I just paraphrase authors," said Toby with a smile.
Wilson should've closed the door properly. He shouldn't have lingered at the nurse's desk. But of course he didn't. Of course he pretended to be preoccupied with charts that weren't his. A nurse was watching him, paused over a chart. Wilson cleared his throat, handed the chart back, and walked away.
"Oh, and…" Toby shuffled and pulled off his backpack, he pulled out a small canvas bag from inside. "Here," he said, handing Kate the bag.
Kate frowned but took the bag, inside was a flip phone and a charger. "What's this?"
"A phone," Toby deadpanned.
"I know but why are you giving it to me?"
"Oh, um," Toby shifted in his seat.
"What?"
"Your mom gave it to me to give to you."
"Oh…" Kate looked at the phone. She flipped it open. Yep, the only contact saved "MOM". Kate laughed a little. "She never wanted me to have a phone before," Kate said.
Toby shrugged. "Maybe she trusts you a little more now."
"I think the opposite."
"When did you see her last?"
"Ages."
"Here," said Toby and he took the phone.
"What are you doing?"
Toby was typing away, "Putting in my number."
"Very important," Kate said with a smile.
"Extremely."

It was Sunday morning when the first message popped in. Kate was drowsy from a restless night's sleep and the beeping startled her. It took longer than Kate would ever admit to think to check the phone. She half sat up, disrupting the IV in her arm. Ugh. She hadn't known they'd done that. Or hadn't remembered. Kate opened the phone and the messages. All from her mother. Kate rolled her eyes, but read them.

HI SWEETIE YOU SHOULD HAVE THE PHONE NOW

JAMES SAYS YOU HAVE SURGERY MONDAY IS THAT TRUE?

HE SAYS I CAN VISIT FROM 7AM TOMORROW COULD I SEE YOU TODAY?

KATE?

MESSAGE ME AS SOON AS YOU'RE UP

Kate rolled her eyes again. A nurse came in as her heart monitor had gone up. Kate hadn't noticed.
"What am I on the IV for?" Kate asked as the nurse checked the monitor on her finger.
"Platelets," said the nurse.
"What for?"
"Surgery tomorrow, surgeon doesn't want you bleeding out you're going to be on a drip every 8 hours until then."
"What about the dialysis?"
The nurse smiled wryly. "Plenty of time it in-between the IVs."
"Oh so I'm just being attached to needles all day?"
"Apparently. You feeling all right?"
"Fine," said Kate.
"Your heartrate is elevated."
"I had a shock with an IV in my arm when I woke up," Kate said putting the phone under her pillow.
"The doctor did tell you," the nurse warned, checking the machine.
"I guess I wasn't fully conscious in the middle of the night."
The nurse looked at her chart. "It was 6.30am."
"Well that's when I do my prime sleeping."
The nurse smiled. "Where's your breakfast tray?"
Kate pressed the button on the bed to raise it up. She looked around. "I have no idea."
Wilson walked in at that moment with a stack of containers.
"Morning," said Wilson.
"Good morning, Dr Wilson," said the nurse as Kate smiled at him.
Wilson smiled politely at the nurse.
"I didn't know Kate was your patient," said the nurse with a too wide smile.
Oh, Kate got it. Awkward.
"I'm not," said Wilson plainly. He put the containers on the hospital table, "I brought you proper breakfast."
"Much appreciated, Doctor Wilson," Kate said with a smirk.
The nurse looked from Wilson to Kate a few times. "She uh…Dr Havisham got her started on the platelets this morning and her heartrate is elevated now."
"Did you know they'd started you on an IV?" asked Wilson looking at the monitor.
"I forgot apparently," said Kate looking at the nurse.
"That'd probably do it," said Wilson. "Is Doctor Finch in yet?"
"Not yet," said the nurse standing awkwardly at the end of Kate's bed.
Wilson and Kate exchanged a glance. Clearly the nurse wasn't getting it. Wilson whispered to Kate, barely audible, "Is she still there?"
"Yes" Kate said just as quietly.
"Can I help you, Doctor Wilson?" asked the nurse. "If she's not your patient you won't know her medical history."
Wilson sighed and turned. "I've got a pretty good idea of her medical history; it's fine. We're uh, we're gonna have breakfast now."
"Okay," the nurse smiled.
Wilson waited a beat. "Alone," he added.
"Oh!" the nurse said with a nervous laugh. She finally left.
Kate burst out laughing once the door was closed. "You could've just told her," Kate said.
Wilson started opening the containers. "Where would the fun in that be?"
-

Kate waited until Wilson had been gone for a while before she pulled out the phone again and messaged her mother back.
I AM HAVING SURGERY

DON'T THINK SECURITY WILL LET YOU IN UNTIL 7

It wasn't even two minutes before the phone beeped again.

MOM: YOU NEED TO TALK WITH SECURITY THEN

KATE: THEY WON'T LISTEN TO ME PRETTY SURE IT CAME FROM CUDDY

MOM: WHO THE HELL IS CUDDY?

KATE: DEAN OF MEDICINE

MOM: IS JAMES FRIENDS WITH HER

Kate rolled her eyes at that. For god's sake.

KATE: SHE'S HIS BOSS

Colleen was pacing around the apartment. This was ridiculous. Her husband was in jail and she was waiting for the freaking weekend to be over to post bail for him. The bank wouldn't give her that much at short notice and now they were closed. She'd also had to hire two cleaning crews to clean up the mess the police had left in their "search". And now everything looked bare because apparently everything of her husband's was evidence. She was left with novels, furniture, and clothes. All the food, all the cleaning products, all the medicine, all their journals and research had gone to the police and lawyers. And her daughter was stuck in a hospital with her ex seeing her whenever the hell he wanted. It was hopeless. She was losing control. Colleen took a breath, and called James' house.
His wife picked up. Ugh. She said he was at the hospital. With Kate. Having breakfast.
Colleen hung up on James' wife. But she didn't give up that easily. She called the hospital, but they said he wasn't in. Clearly no one checks who's visiting their patients. Unacceptable, really. She called through asking for different people every time before finally she reached a nurse who said, "yes, he's with a patient, hold on."
-

"That's cheating," said Wilson.
"It is not," said Kate.
"You can't use the dictionary to look up words, you can only use it to check that it is a word!"
Kate closed the dictionary and put it on the bed next to her. "Fine." She played DEIGN. "26," she said and Wilson added the score.
"What word were you going to do?"
Kate shook her head and pulled out her new letters. "Not telling."
Wilson frowned and twisted the board back to him.
"Doctor Wilson?" asked the nurse.
"Yeah?" he answered, still looking at the board.
"Phone call for you."
Wilson turned. "From who?"
"She said she's a patient of yours…"
Wilson sighed and stood up. "Don't cheat," he warned.
Kate smiled and opened the dictionary as he left.
"Hello?" said Wilson as he answered the phone at the desk.
"I need to see her."
"Who…-Colleen?" he said, recognizing the tone more than the voice itself.
"I need to see her," repeated Colleen.
"You're seeing her tomorrow morning."
"It's not soon enough."
"Why is waiting 20 hours impossible for you?"
"Don't be sarcastic with me."
"Colleen you'll be fine."
"James, she's my daughter."
"She's mine too."
Colleen scoffed.
"Don't do that."
"Do what?"
"Pretend like I'm an absent father because of choices you made and lies you've told."
"You are an absent father."
"You said she'd be safe with you and Doug. I have a plethora of medical procedures and a month long hospital stay for Kate that says she was not safe. Oh and did I mention an arrest for attempted murder? How long do you think you can avoid jail time yourself?"
"We didn't do anything to Kate. Ask her."
"Oh so she just poisoned herself and didn't realize?"
"It was an accident," that was the only explanation for Colleen. She couldn't understand why James couldn't see that.
"I'll see you tomorrow," Wilson said and hung up. He took a breath and went back into the room.
"Fun conversation?" asked Kate.
"Charming," said Wilson and sat down.
Kate watched him as he looked at his tiles. "That's it?" she asked.
"I'm thinking," Wilson said looking up at her.
"That's not what I meant."
"What did you mean?
"I know that was mom."
Wilson waited for more, but nothing came. "And?"
Kate laughed awkwardly. "And you're not saying anything?"
"Why would I say anything?"
"I'm assuming it wasn't actually a pleasant conversation?"
"Well, not exactly but that's not really something I need to talk with you about."
"Why not?"
Wilson laughed and sat back. "Do Colleen and Doug complain about me to you?"
Kate was caught off guard. "All the time," she said, because it was the truth and the first thing that popped into her head.
Wilson was taken aback and tried to recover, "Well isn't that just lovely of them?"
Kate made a face. "Are you going to play your word or not?"
Wilson smiled and played DENIAL off her N in 'deign'.
Kate frowned, "Now you're just being ironic."
Wilson shrugged and took out his letters from the bag. "16 points".
Kate turned the board back to herself. And laughed. She'd forgotten. She played DIVORCE.
Wilson burst out laughing. "Oh, you definitely cheated for that!"
"No, it's irony scrabble," said Kate. "40 points please."
Wilson didn't argue and put down the points.
Kate watched him again as he turned the board to him and thought.
"Are you going to be this nice to me when I'm not in hospital anymore?" Kate asked.
"You mean will I let you blatantly cheat at board games? I will not. Consider this a kind of charity before surgery tomorrow."
Kate shook her head. "No, that's not…that's not what I meant."
"What did you mean?" Wilson was still trying to figure out if it was appropriate to use a cuss word when playing scrabble with your 14-year-old and if so, which one. It took him a moment to register what she was saying.
"I mean all the niceness. You know, the checking in, the breakfast, the joking around, the board games, it's all because I'm sick, right?"
Wilson didn't want to appear shocked. He took his time looking from his tiles and up to Kate's face. Her eyes were wide, and the yellow tinge from her jaundice made her look even more fragile. She was being completely adamant about it all. What the hell had life really been like with Colleen and Doug? Not just the poisoning, but before, if she thought breakfast and jokes and checking in with your child was a parent 'being nice'? Wilson carefully, slowly shook his head and pretended to be nonchalant as he played 'bugger', he thought that was an okay word to play, not to mention the double letter score on the second 'g, and said, "No, this is just me being with you regardless of your medical predicament."
Wilson watched her react to that. A pause, a small nod, but mostly confusion. "Oh," was what Kate managed to say. Wilson noted his points down. "Okay then."
"Good." Wilson said putting the pen down.
Kate frowned at the board as she finally took in Wilson's word. "I didn't realize we could cuss in this. I could have K on that triple word score before!"