Chapter 6

The candlelight flickered casting soft shadows on the walls of Ana's suite. She closed the door and slowly let her purse slide from her shoulder onto the floor. She couldn't help but smile when she saw a trail of roses leading to the bedroom. It had to be Hank. Her fiancé was finally here. She felt her heart race at the thought of her gorgeous man, and then it stopped suddenly. She grasped at the ache in her chest as her inner voice yelled at her, "He's not Christian!" She walked into the bedroom to find her fiancé reclining on the bed nude with a rose between his teeth. "Hank." She whispered.

The gorgeous man removed the stem from his mouth and smiled at her as his eyes drifted over her body. "You look delicious, Ana. Come to me, Precious. I've missed you so much." He waited breathlessly for her to come to him, but she seemed to be glued in place. His smile faded. "Ana?"

Ana took a couple of deep breaths to find her center. Her heart and mind were conflicted with each other. "Honey, we need to talk." She finally made her feet move and she sat on the edge of the foot of the bed. She struggled to control her tears. "I adore you, Hank. You are wonderful, sweet, kind, sexy, and you are every woman's dream." Her voice quivered with emotion. "You are my dream."

Hank closed his blue eyes. He knew something like this would happen if she came to Seattle. He knew she wasn't his completely. Even though she loved him, she never gave one hundred percent of herself to him. "I hear a but."

Ana stared down at the ring that he gave her. This had to be the shortest engagement in the history of engagements. She slowly slipped the ring off. "It's not fair to take this ring from you when my heart is not healed yet. It's not fair to you. You deserve a woman who can love you with everything she has. I can't do that yet." She placed the ring on the bed between them. "I'm sorry."

"Ana…oh god…please don't do this. I know that he hurt you. I know that you still love him, but honey, I can make you forget him. Don't give up on us." He moved closer to her. "I love you, Ana. I want to be with you and make a life with you."

Ana stood up. "Don't you see, Hank? I will only hurt you. I can't give myself to you when I don't even have control of my own heart. My heart is still Christian's. God, I hate this…I hate still loving him…but I can't stop. I have never stopped loving him." The tears rolled her cheeks. "I'm so sorry, Hank…I'm so very sorry." She crumbled to the floor in a heap of sobs. She felt like the lowest form of life for leading him on. She thought she had exorcized Christian from her heart and soul, but one day in Seattle, all those feelings came to the surface. She never allowed herself to heal. She swept her feelings under a rug, worked ungodly hours to keep those feelings hidden and pretended to be happy. She had used Hank to try to get over Christian. "Please forgive me…even though I don't deserve it…forgive me."

Her sobs broke his heart. Even though he was losing her, he couldn't stand to see her in pain. He joined her on the floor and wrapped his arms about her. "Don't, sweetie. Don't cry, Ana. It will be all right." He kissed the top of her head. "We will figure this out." He held her close, tipping her beautiful face up so he could gaze into her eyes. "Ana, I love you. I will always love you." His lips grazed hers, beckoning her to respond. "Please, Ana, one more night. Let me have one more night." They kissed softly at first and as their passion exploded, the kisses grew more urgent. Hank gracefully stood with Ana in his arms, their lips never separating. He took her to the bed and pressed her into the soft blankets. Ana stared up at him with tears in her eyes. "One more night."

"One more night." She whispered as they kissed each other with fevered urgency. Within moments, Hank had her clothes off and he was inside her, taking her slowly. He wanted these moments to last forever.

"Don't hold back, Ana. Give it to me." Hank demanded lowly as he pushed inside her and then withdrew. "Please, baby…please."

Ana threw back her head and screamed as her orgasm began to build in her belly and exploded through her body. She cried tears of sexual joy mixed with heartbreaking pain. She had used Hank and now she was leaving him and for what, for a pipedream that may never work out. She moved with him, their bodies performing the age-old dance between a man and a woman. "Hank…oh god…yes."

"Yes, Ana…yes…" He breathed. He plummeted deeply into her. "I will always love you."

He slept peacefully. Ana watched him with soft eyes. He was so beautiful to gaze upon with his mussed up curls. She bent over and kissed him softly. "Goodbye, Hank." Walking quietly she left the suite carrying her suitcase and a guilty heart.

Morning swept over Hank as his eyes slowly opened. He automatically reached for the woman that he loved. The bed was empty. He sat up and looked around the room. He knew in his heart that she was gone. She had slipped away with the night. He spied the engagement ring on his bedside table with a note that was in her beautiful handwriting. "Sell the ring and give the money to your favorite charity. I am sorry, Hank. I hope someday that you will be able to forgive me."

Earlier in the morning….

Rain greeted Ana as she walked out of the Fairmont Hotel and slide into a cab that the doorman had acquired for her. She sat in the back of the taxi crying softly as she drove into the unknown future. At one time, she had her future mapped out with marriage, children, and Hank. Now, she had nothing. Before she knew it, she was standing in front of a door knocking…knocking once again…then waiting. The door opened.

"Ana?"

"I'm sorry to bother you, but can I stay with you for awhile? I don't want to be alone. I don't have anywhere to go."

Kate tied her robe tight about her life. "Of course, what happened?" She took the suitcase from Ana's hand and led the girl into the apartment.

"Hank and I broke up." Ana said lowly. "I gave back the ring. I couldn't do it, Kate. I couldn't keep lying to him and myself…"

"I knew it!" A deep voice declared. Ana looked up to see Elliot Grey standing in the living room wearing only a sheet wrapped around his waist. "You are still in love with my idiot brother!"

Kate threw Elliot a dirty look. "Will you please go back to bed? This is for the adults to deal with." She snapped at him. Elliot just smiled broadly and walked away. Kate shook her head and then turned back to Ana. "Of course, you can stay here, Ana. You will always have a home with me."

A phone ringing brought Christian from a much-needed sleep. He was slumped over his desk and groaned as he searched for his cell. "What?" He growled.

"You are one lucky bastard, Bro!"

"Fuck, Elliot…what are you doing calling me at…at…fuck what time is it?"

"It's after three in the morning. I have some news for you, Baby Bro."

"What, did you get your dick caught in the vacuum hose again?"

"Ha, ha very funny motherfucker…shit…it only happened one time, but that's not why I'm calling you. Bro, she's here. She's fucking here in Kate's apartment."

"Who?"

"Ana, you fucktard…who else?"

Christian was now wide-awake. He knew that her fiancé was in town and that the fucker made a beeline to the Fairmont. He knew that they probably fucked all evening and nightlong. From the hourly reports, he knew that Ana never left the hotel as she waited for her movie star lover. "I'll be right over."

"No! Fuck, no! If you come over, Kate will know that I told you. She will have my balls on a silver platter. Just stay put and let me find out what is going on." Elliot said more than happy to be a help to his little brother. In the last six months, they had grown closer, having the brotherly relationship that they never had before. Elliot knew that Christian was head over heels in love with Ana Steele. She was all he ever talked about when they were drinking together. "I'm actually shocked that you don't already know. Damn, Bro, are you losing your edge here? What happened to your stalking tendencies?"

Christian realized that Elliot was right. What did happen to the security detail he had tailing Ana? He should have been told that she left the Fairmont. "I don't know, Ell, but I'm about to find out real fucking quick!"

A cup of hot tea warmed the cold hands of Ana as she sat on Kate's sofa. The blonde was sitting next to Ana. "Okay, what happened?" The woman asked.

"I realized that I was using Hank. I adore him, but it's not enough. He's not…I mean I couldn't…it's just wrong to stay with him when I …" She closed her eyes. She couldn't say it aloud. She couldn't acknowledge that Christian Grey still owned her heart and soul. "Let's just say, I made sure that I couldn't hurt Hank anymore."

"You still love Christian." Kate said lowly. "Now what?"

"I don't know." Ana shrugged her shoulders. "I guess I go back to London to my job and try to figure out how to get over him for once and for all."

"Or…" Kate's said with emphasis. "You could stay here and deal with your feelings for him. Maybe it's time to stop running, Ana. Can you honestly say that you have been happy?"

Ana laughed lowly but her eyes held no joy. "I've been happy. I had good times with Hank. He is good to me. I do have feelings for him." She sipped on her tea. "I just never gave my all to him…how could I when a part of me will forever belong to a certain screwed up man that doesn't know how to love or accept love?" She sighed heavily. "Kate, I'm so fucked."

"Welcome to the club, Sis…we all are fucked up to some degree."