You know you're getting old when you can't work out the simple math of current date – birth date to work out your age, and instead turn to Google for an "age calculator" to work it out. I have shamed my maths teacher.

Cover Art: Kirire

Chapter 79

"Insert screw B into hole A using tool Omega. Use tool Ligma to tighten nut Q—"

"What? Stop, stop, stop. There's no hole here."

"There is a hole, Blake. The instructions say so."

"Well, the instructions are wrong!"

"They wouldn't be wrong if you were following them properly. Do you have screw B?"

"Jaune, I will drive screw B through your hole: eyeball using tool: my fist if you tell me we have to disassemble this for a third time!"

Jaune rubbed his chin and leaned back in his new office chair in front of what was, in theory, supposed to be his new desk. Most of the office was new, freshly bought from various furniture stores across Vale and delivered here. Given how much money they had, they should have been able to just pay for installation, but the Containments Office was too dangerous a place to let a bunch of unawares workers operate in, and they might have touched something they shouldn't.

And so, reluctantly, they had been forced to try and assemble it themselves.

"I think we went wrong somewhere..."

"Jaune..." hissed Blake, raising tool Sigma threateningly. "I swear to any god that exists..."

"Did you follow the instructions?"

"YES, I FOLLOWED THE DAMN INSTRUCTIONS. YOU'VE WATCHED ME FOLLOW THEM!" Blake lowered her voice, chest rising and falling as she trembled with assembly rage. "Maybe it's you who delivered the instructions wrong. Damn it, who makes these so complicated!? Isn't a desk just a plank of wood on top of two legs? Why are there sixty-four screws?" Blake hefted an Alan key, a screwdriver and a wrench between her fingers. "And who do they require three different tools to use? And if they're going to alphabetise the screws then why don't they etch the letters onto them!?"

Jaune lowered the instruction booklet, which was much too big to be practical and written in far too many languages that no one used. "Are you done?"

"No. Let me rage!" Blake pouted. "And shouldn't we be more worried about the potential insurrection among the anomalies than building a desk?"

"I am worried about that but the biggest fear related to it is Saphron seeing something she shouldn't, and if our office is still a disaster zone then she'll want us to move the meeting outside, drastically increasing the odds the rebellious anomalies can approach us in public. Which would be bad."

Blake huffed and resisted the urge to throw the screw at the floor pettily. She'd only lose it and have to spend half an hour sifting through boxes and packaging foam to find it again. Jaune made a good point. The best way to keep Saphron from noticing anything wrong was to fix up their office and keep her in it for the duration of her visit. If she wanted to audit it, then all the better if she never left the building. That'd let Blake keep the anomalies away from her.

"Can't we make Amber do this? Can't we bribe Ruby into doing it?"

Hell, Sun looked handy. Maybe she could bribe him to come do it with the promise of a few dates. Or a few children. She was getting desperate enough to consider it. Plus, there was always her book. What were a few sacrificed souls compared against this? It might be worth it.

"Would you trust a desk made by either of those two?"

"I mean, it wouldn't be me who'd get crushed by it when it collapses so..." Blake wilted under his stinky expression. "Ugh. Fine. But this had better be the last time we strip it back down."

It was, thankfully, the last time. The two of them spent a goof thirty minutes on their knees, jackets off, sweating and grunting as they aligned heavy planes of wood, screwed bits into place, and furiously turned bits around to try and find the tiniest holes and symbols indicating which way they could face, all so they wouldn't have to do it again. Furniture assembly had apparently been designed by a madman, or it was some torture technique that someone had mistakenly decided to mass produce.

"Are we sure the concept of furniture assembly isn't anomalous?"

Jaune paused. "In what way?"

"I just think it's highly unlikely that two otherwise clever and independent people like us would struggle on such a fundamental level with following what should be simple instructions. I think it's suspicious enough to warrant investigation."

"That sounds more than a little arrogant."

"I know, but I've also never been this irrationally angry at something so mundane before. Like, murderous rage. I don't even think I'm alone in this. I bet if we searched online, there'd be whole posts about people going insane trying to put together a set of shelves."

Jaune opened his mouth to argue, then closed it. "Huh. I am absolutely furious and felt like I could have murdered you for failing to follow instructions at any moment."

"Right!? And I would have gladly torn your throat out if you suggested I wasn't listening one more time," Blake replied, glibly.

"The first time we had to do it all over was your fault, though."

"And here I am thinking about stabbing you all over again!"

"You're really bad at following instructions."

"And you're bad at giving them!"

Jaune pinched the bridge of his nose. "Okay. I'll add it to the files. Some kind of memetic rage aura surrounding an anomalous field that subtly and invisibly rearranges furniture pieces to make it impossible for anyone to get it right on the first try. Sadly, it's Reality Class by now."

"At least it's done."

Blake planted her hands on her hips proudly and looked at their new office desk. Jaune did the same behind her.

"It's the wrong colour," he pointed out. "It doesn't match the cupboards."

Gambol Shroud came out and pressed into his temple.

Jaune gulped.

"B—But you know what, maybe I like that. Adds a little flair."

The gun went away. "I think so too."

"Let's move onto dealing with the anomalies in Vale before Amber gets back," said Jaune, moving to sit at his new desk. Blake took the sofa, which had survived Adam's rampage by virtue of being nowhere near Jaune at the time. Timothy was locked in her apartment with a bag of crickets so that Saphron wouldn't see him and commit suicide by trying to harm him.

Amber, meanwhile, had been tasked with lugging out all the broken furniture to a skip they'd hired on the roadside. Blake had initially thought giving such a small girl so heavy a task was cruel on Jaune's part, but after having to build the bloody desk she was reassessing things.

"Sure. So, the plan is to just keep Saphron in here? That's it?"

"The simplest plans are sometimes the best. I figure we can't really screw that up. Neither of us know who the ringleader of this little uprising is, and trying to figure that out or calm them all down is something that's going to take a lot more time than we actually have." Jaune sighed. "It was good that you brought this to my attention."

Did he think she'd have kept it a secret? Knowing that a miniature White Fang was rising up among the anomalies here, and that Saphron Arc was coming, set so many red flags that she could plant a forest. The nanosecond she'd got back, she'd told him everything. Or, rather, the moment she got back and Amber wasn't in hearing distance.

"I'd call this idea a bit short term but you're probably right. We don't have time to fix the real problem when she's coming... how soon?"

"This afternoon."

Blake grimaced. "Yeah. No chance."

"Not unless we went entirely scorched earth on them, and even then Amber would see everything and report it to her. Our only option really is to bullshit our way through this and hope Alistair and the others can keep them down. Speaking of the long term, though, we might as well discuss plans there. I think I want you in charge of this."

"Because I have experience with violent insurrections and the workings behind them?"

"That, and because I don't think they'll listen to anything I have to say. I'm an Arc after all, and they hate my family. No amount of reasoning with them is going to change that, but maybe you can sympathise with them and get them to listen."

She doubted it, but it was more likely than them listening to him. Blake had a feeling this was going to be more of a problem than either of them would have liked. The White Fang hadn't listened to any one of a hundred reasonable people telling them how things would go if they turned to terrorism.

That was the point, really. Terrorism was a very emotional thing. By the point you were that desperate, you had thrown things like reason and common sense out the window. Most of the people in the White Fang had been running on emotions, both good and bad. Most of them had also known they probably wouldn't survive the experience and had made peace with that.

It was part of the reason why kingdoms like Atlas could never put them down. They always thought they could treat terrorists as any other set of criminals, that they could be threatened with prison and legal consequences, or with the risk of death, but a person who has chosen to become a terrorist has already accepted all that. They know the risks, but they believe what they're fighting for to be worth it.

And to some of them, it is worth dying for.

That's a fact most people who live blessed lives outside the chaos can never understand.

In that sense, Jaune was probably right to leave it to her to sort out, because he could never truly understand what it was like to live like them even when he was as much an anomaly as they were. He lived with disdain and distrust from his own family, but at least he got to exist. They didn't.

"As for Saphron," he continued, "I think the best thing to do would be to have her conduct the audit in here with me and Amber while you wait outside the building and make sure no one approaches."

"And if they do...?"

Jaune stared down at his new desk. "Then they will have to die."

/-/

Saphron Arc arrived alone, wearing her long red overcoat with the feathery collar and gold stitching. It was so painfully ornate that every single person she walked past stared at it, and Blake had to wonder if that was intentional in some way – maybe to draw eyes away from her face. Either way, she looked like a cross between royalty and a mob boss, the latter due to the suit she wore underneath. Neither option was specifically wrong.

"Associate Director." Jaune inclined his head in greeting, and Blake did the same.

"Director. Agent Belladonna." Saphron coldly responded.

"Big sister!"

The frost thawed. "Hello Amber. How have you been?"

"Good enough." Amber had, through miracles and bribery, been convinced to not mention Timothy. It wasn't exactly a gesture of her accepting the spider and more of her knowing it would lead to a fight if they brought it up. "My time here has been interesting, but not as controversial as I expected. I thought there'd be a lot more softness and breaking of the rules."

"Hmm. Perhaps the Containments Office has been on its best behaviour with you here. I'm glad to hear you haven't been corrupted by any of their questionable ethics."

"I'm looking forward to working with the Fist Office!"

"And Terra and Pyrrha are looking forward to meeting you. We even have a mission lined up for you that I can tell you about on the way home. A family have reported of a strange creature in the woods that returned their missing dog to them."

Blake couldn't help herself. "It sounds peaceful."

Jaune hissed out a breath but it was too late.

"What was that?" asked Saphron.

"I said it sounds like a peaceful entity that just wanted to return a missing animal to help a family." Blake squared her shoulders and faced the woman. "But that probably won't matter to you. Kill first, ask questions later. Am I right?"

Associate Director Saphron Arc regarded her coldly, and then dismissed her, turning back to Amber to say, "This is what I was speaking about with being corrupted. I'm glad to see you've resisted such softness."

Bitch.

"Why don't you wait outside, Blake?" Jaune suggested. "We don't both need to be here for the audit. Saphron is just going to have a look around to make sure we're following regulations."

"You mean that she's going to do her best to prove we're not, and then leave in a sulk once she realises she can't bust us over something." It was needless spite, she'd admit, but she really did hate the woman. Still, this was as good an excuse as any to be outside to intercept any anomalous attempts on Saphron's life.

As much as she'd have loved to cheer them on.

Saphron didn't even look Blake's way as she stormed out the office and away, into the elevator and down to the ground floor. Her anger wasn't faked and she could fully believe the Fist Office would corner some poor creature that just wanted to be left alone and murder it. And it would be murder, wouldn't it? They liked to believe in their brand of aggressive self-defence but Blake was of the opinion that they should call it what it was.

The air was colder outside, fresher, and Blake leaned back against the wall by the entrance to the apartment block and crossed her arms. The streets were fairly quiet this late in the afternoon, in that moment between when people got off work but hadn't had time to eat and get ready to do anything in the evening. Commuters had completed their journey home, but most would be getting changed and having showers, or eating or at the gym if they were so inclined. Bars were just about opening up, but it was too early to drink.

Alistair's would be busy.

Her scroll went off.

"Blake here."

"It's Coda." Damn it. There went her hopes of a quiet evening. "I've got good news and bad news. The bad news is that they're aware of Saphron's presence and are intending to stage an attack on your office."

"And the good news is—?"

"The good news is that they're being transported via several lorries they've managed to purchase, and that right now the city is experiencing something of a computing error that is causing vast amounts of traffic. Lights are switching off or operating irregularly, and several roads have been closed without warning." Coda paused for effect. "You're welcome for that."

"Thank you. Will it keep them away?"

"I believe I can keep the trucks locked in traffic for a good two to three hours, but the city is already responding to do resets of the computer system. I've left some mundane viruses in there to suggest a human hacker."

"Any chance of them getting out and coming on foot?"

"Not unless they're prepared to blow everything wide open. I don't think they're reckless enough to announce the existence of anomalies by jumping out the trucks and showing themselves. If they were, then they wouldn't have needed the vehicles in the first place."

That was a good point. Fighting for Reality Class wouldn't help them anyway, as ARC Corp would just seal off the city and begin a purge. Besides, every terrorist group needed both a manifesto and a violent act to establish themselves. They'd want to hit at ARC Corp first, and then reveal while the company was reeling from losing two more directors. Three in total, given what Amber was being trained up to be. It'd be a huge loss for the company.

And she meant company and not family, because she doubted familial ties or love would factor into ARC Corp's response. They'd be more concerned with how the deaths of three siblings would impact their ability to spread their coverage across the globe.

"Is it handled, then? They won't be coming?"

"I cannot say for sure. How long will this audit take?"

"I don't know."

"Then you should remain on guard. I may have been able to slow down those vehicles but I somehow doubt they're the only ones the rebels have. They also know of my existence, and they'll be able to figure out what I did. I shouldn't expect them to use electronic devices connected to the internet in the future."

Meaning they'd already lost their greatest asset. Regrettable, but more than worth it if it meant keeping Saphron and Amber in the dark. "Thanks for letting me know. I should probably mention that if they come here, we're going to have to kill them and make it look like they're rogue elements targeting Saphron. I won't be able to leave any survivors, either, because they could talk about Alistair's bar."

"I know. This may be their plan all along, to make martyrs of their people and paint you as monsters so that they can convince more to join their cause. I am sorry I cannot do more."

"I appreciate what you've done. Keep in touch if anything changes."

Blake slid her scroll away and went back to scanning the streets. The empty roads made a lot more sense now given what Coda had done. There'd be a lot of complaints for the council to deal with after all this, but better that than a terrorist attack.

An hour passed with excruciating slowness.

But then the doors opened and Jaune walked out with Amber and Saphron.

"That's it?" asked Blake, surprised by the haste. "It's done?"

"The audit found numerous instances of mismanagement and regulatory breaches," said Saphron, not even trying to avoid being snide. "A list of recommendations has been left with your director so that he might improve his systems. In addition, we are taking The Blank Slate with us." Saphron hefted a metal briefcase containing it. "This anomaly has been deemed too dangerous to exist and will be taken to an ARC Corp site to be destroyed. It should never have been allowed here."

Blake didn't see much point complaining about that. She disliked it herself, and while it was absolutely harmless locked up as it was, she wasn't about to start a fight over a non-sentient item being destroyed. They didn't need it anymore.

"Amber and Associate Director Saphron will be leaving now," said Jaune, looking as relieved as she felt.

"Ah. There are some traffic issues across the city. I just got a call from someone telling me about it. Apparently there's been a hacking at the control stations for traffic lights and such. It might not be a good idea to travel by car right now."

Saphron frowned, drew her scroll and confirmed the story herself. "Sadly, she's correct. The closest airport isn't far thankfully. We can make the journey on foot. Say goodbye, Amber."

"Thank you for having me for a short time." The younger girl was nothing if not polite, even offering a handshake to Blake. "Despite our differences of opinion, the work experience was valuable – and I only died almost once."

"You'd have died in the alternate dimension if it wasn't for me," said Blake.

The girl's eye twitched. "Yes, well, I am on work experience. What did you expect?"

"Amber will grow into a fine director in time, I'm sure," said Saphron. "Now, if we may, I'd prefer to be back in Argus before tomorrow. Come, Amber. Let us be off."

The two women walked away.

Blake and Jaune stood still and quiet until they were around the corner, and then they were on one another instantly. "Coda is keeping them occupied but they planned an attack—" Blake blurted out."

"—audit found serious problems and we need to fix them."

"—chance they'll be attacked at the airport?"

"—might send father to make sure we have!"

They paused. Jaune coughed. "You go first."

Blake relayed the information from Coda.

"Right. That's a relief. It's a good job I was never able to find and contain her, or we'd be in serious trouble right now. Let's hope the traffic problems don't make the airport shut down or Saphron might be stuck here for a few hours yet. We should probably prepare for an attack here when they do eventually arrive." He sighed. "And we just fixed the office up, too."

"Maybe we could go to Alistair's," suggested Blake. "Be seen there. The news would surely make it back to them that they're too late."

"Not a bad idea."

"What about the audit, then?"

"It's a lot of stuff that Saphron is lumping on us. Things to improve on." He shook his head. "It was obvious from the start she was looking to catch us out; she even criticised the desk for being off-colour. I told her it was a stylistic choice. We've been told we need to have dedicated containment cells for each anomaly if we want to keep containing them, and that individual safes won't cut it. Oh, but our budget won't be increased because investing in said cells is a personal choice and not a business one. And, of course, she reminds us that it is much cheaper to simply destroy anomalies than it is to contain them."

"Naturally. How big a cell is she talking about?"

"Ugh. There are specifications." He pulled out his scroll and began to read. "Each cell must be a minimum of six metres by six metres and at least two metres tall. Each cell must have walls of solid metal at least three inches thick excepting in cases where the anomaly interacts with metal. These should have entirely separate containment facilities."

Blake did a quick tally of the anomalies they had in her head before grimacing. "That's a lot of cells, and some of the items are tiny. Why do we need a full cell for a globe, or a camera, or a magical eight-ball? Hell, we need a six by six cell for a dog collar!"

"I know. The whole point is to bury us in tape and make it unviable to contain future anomalies. Force us to start destroying more." Jaune sighed. "But we won't. We'll simply have to find a way to get these facilities and operate them. But let's have the afternoon off. Celebrate surviving another day and foisting Amber off on my sister without anything going wrong."

/-/

Alistair's was relaxed when they arrived. Without any of the rebels around to cause problems, the local anomalies were enjoying a quiet evening drinking and didn't even react to her and Jaune entering. The ones who hated them were off with the rest stuck in traffic still.

"All go well?" asked Alistair.

"As well as it possibly could," said Jaune. "Saphron wrote us up on a bunch of stuff and my family is more concerned how I might have corrupted Amber, but that's nothing new. Cheers."

Blake tapped her glass to his and they both took a drink.

"Well, at least they're not planning a crusade across Vale to purge us," said Alistair. "I'll chalk that up as a win. It's been a good night here, too, with them all gone. No angry corner spreading misery like smoke. It's been downright relaxing."

The TV above the bar flickered to a news broadcast.

"Breaking news just in, as an explosion at Vale International Airport has grounded flights, killing fourteen and wounding 26 more people. As of yet, no group has claimed responsibility for the attack, and the White Fang have denied involvement. More to come."

Jaune stared.

Blake did too.

"Fuck."

Next Chapter: 27th November

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