106th Journal Entry of "The Life of Dewey Dingus Duck - Doing Life Like the Dew Do.
We're back on the road again. I got a nice long nap in but we went through a busy city and now I'm wide awake. The Isabella Finch Museum was more or less… meh. I'd like to put it on record that I… repeat… I, Dewey Duck, am Uncle Scrooge's faaaavorite nephew. What does a giant painting on a wall mean anyway when I have Scrooge's whole, ancient heart? That's right.
Anyway, we're back on track. Louie's driving so you know it'll take FOREVER to get there with his lazy foot. He won't budge from the seat, though, so here we are.
According to the lady at the Peking Bank, our dad opened a bank account in his name WITH Uncle Gladstone. That means they're connected in some way. It may have been years before we existed but there's only one way to find out… talk to the lucky duck uncle himself.
How did Dad and Uncle G know each other?
Did they go to school together?
Were they best friends?
How come no one in our family will tell us anything? Even Uncle G is quiet about our past and he doesn't care about any secrets, so that's gotta mean something.
I'm going to find the answers to all of these questions, if my name isn't Dewey Duck. You, my adoring fans, deserve every detail.
So long for now. Dewey out.
Dewey closed his laptop and hid it back in his bunk under his pillow. He walked up to the front of the RV. After falling asleep on their way past Mullenberg, he wasn't even sure what time it was or where they were. He looked out the window, they were far enough away from the city that he could see the stars above the highway.
He yawned and stretched, leaning on the dashboard to look out at the interstate. "How's it going? Hope you're not getting us lost again, Captain Lost."
"Can you pass me a Pep Energy?"
Okay, fine. Try not to answer me. Dewey sat down on the cooler. "Huh, what? What was that, Captain Lost?"
Louie groaned and stuck his hand out. "It's Captain Lost Sir to you and we're on track. Now, the Pep?"
A smile lit onto his face as he hopped up from the cooler and rooted around through the melting ice. He dropped a can of Pep Energy into Louie's awaiting hand.
Holding the wheel steady with his knee, Louie cracked the can open and chugged it.
"Woah, slow down there, green machine!" He laughed, watching as his mellow little brother crushed the can in his hand and tossed it behind him.
The burp that came out of him was ridiculous. Even by Dewey's standards. Dewey laughed and clapped him on the shoulder. "That was probably the most awesome thing you've ever done."
Louie kept his eyes on the road. "I'm just trying to stay awake. Every drop of that stuff helps."
"Oh, that's right. You didn't get your usual afternoon nap today, did you?" Dewey leaned against the side of his seat. "No wonder you've been so cranky since the museum. How are you functioning right now?"
"I'm fine. The Pep is doing its job."
Dewey looked past his brother's head to see the speedometer. 90! Who does this guy think he is? Sonic? He looked down. Louie's hands shook like an old man's on the wheel. "Holy cow, Lou! How many of those have you had?" He opened the cooler to take inventory of how many were left.
"I dunno, but I feel fine."
Dewey pulled the hood off of his head and finally got Louie to look at him. Dark circles under rounded his eyes and his forehead looked stuck in concentration mode with how heavy it was on his eyebrows. He looks like a zombie who died and came back to life so many times it's in style. He blinked. Whatever that means.
He glanced over at Huey who was fast asleep in the passenger seat. How long has this been going on? Suddenly the gross, ugly responsibility of "oldest" sibling overcame him for a moment with Huey asleep.
"I told you I could take over." Dewey finally looked at the clock. 3am?! "You've been at the wheel all night without a wink of sleep. What are you thinking?"
Louie shrugged and gripped the wheel until his knuckles turned red to keep his hands from shaking so much. "You were both asleep. I didn't want to wake you up."
"That's never stopped you before." Dewey folded his arms across his chest, remembering all the times Louie so generously woke him up to talk him into doing some dumb job for him.
"I wanted to make sure we were driving through the night."
"Lou, that's ridiculous. You need to sleep. More than either of us do for sure with your insomnia. You get awfully crabby if you don't get your stupid beauty rest. Now pull over."
"No!" Louie pushed his arm off of the chair. "I'm getting us to LA."
Dewey took a step back. Oh, so that's how it's going to be, huh? Well not today, brother. He rolled up his sleeves and jumped on top of him.
"Hey! Get off! You're going to make us crash!" The RV swerved all over the empty highway. Louie pushed and shoved at him as Dewey climbed onto his lap and took over the wheel.
"I'm pulling this thing over or my name isn't Dewey Duck!" He smashed Louie into the seat and kicked his foot away from the accelerator.
"Dewey-oof! Get your fat… feathered… tail off of me!" Louie coughed and squirmed under him.
"Not going to happen!" Dewey yanked the RV into a rest area and threw it into park. The whole thing squeaked and jerked to a complete stop. "Just like landing a plane! Man, I wish Mom would've been here to see that. It was just like an action movie. Dewey Duck, a stunt double? Where do I sign?! How come every time I do something totally awesome, there's no movie director on the sidelines watching, huh?"
Louie moaned from under him, his limbs hanging limp from the chair.
Dewey climbed off of him and peeled him out of the seat. He glanced at Huey who was still fast asleep, curled up in a ball in the passenger seat. How on earth did he sleep through that? At least one of us can sleep like a bear in hibernation. He smiled to himself and dragged Louie to the back of the RV by his hoodie.
"No. N-need-need to keep… driving," Louie croaked, his shaky hands whacking him with the power of a couple of wet noodles.
Dewey picked him up and shoved him into the bed at the back of the RV. "You're a danger to yourself and the rest of us if you try to keep driving, Lou. Try to get some sleep." He threw the blanket over him. "I'm all for getting places as fast as humanly possible, but you and Huey are the ones who are supposed to be the ones to remind me about the possibility of DYING, remember? Now look at us. You've gotten me all turned around."
Louie's whole body quaked with caffeine jitters. His left eye twitched. "N-n-no. You don't get it. We can't stay here. W-we're in danger if we don't go… n-n-now."
Dewey rolled his eyes. Greeeat, now he's in his hallucinating state. "I'll get your pills." He dug around in Louie's bag to find his insomnia medicine. He came back with a glass of water and the pill bottle only to find Louie inching out of bed.
"Do you need me to sit on you again? 'Cause I will."
Louie crawled back into bed and wrapped up in the blankets. "Dewey, please. You have to keep driving. We're only three more hours away. Pleeeease, I'm begging you. For once, I am begging you. You of all people!"
Dewey handed him the glass of water before prying his beak open and dropping a pill down his throat. "Drink the whole thing."
Louie glared past his heavy eyelids.
"I will sit on you." Don't you dare tempt me. I will Dew it.
At that, Louie lifted the glass to his mouth and drank as much of it as he could. He fell back into the pillows, his body still twitching and sweating from the overload of caffeine in his system. "You are insufferable."
"Thanks, so are you." He winked at him. "Now get some sleep." He headed for his bunk.
"Dewey, wait…"
Dewey spun back around, crossing his arms. "What, doofus?"
Louie hugged the blankets to his chin. "I… I really won't be able to sleep unless the RV is moving. Please? I'll wash your clothes for the rest of the month. I'll do whatever you want. Just keep driving for me?" His voice was barely audible.
Heaving a sigh, Dewey nodded. "Yeah, fine. Not like I'm sleeping again any time soon after that adrenaline rush." He smirked. I'll only be thinking about how much of a lost opportunity it was for all those movie producers. "I'll keep driving for a couple hours until Huey wakes up… just as long as you promise to sleep."
Louie bobbed his head behind the blanket.
What is up with him? Dewey shook his head and went to the front of the RV, settling himself behind the wheel. Sure, Louie could get manic. He had his episodes. But not like that. He never refused to stop driving. He's far too lazy for that.
Either way, Dewey got behind the wheel and turned the RV back onto the interstate. He checked in the rearview mirror. Louie had finally stopped jittering and wiggling in the blankets. He let out a sigh and glanced at his older brother who was sleeping soundly in the passenger seat beside him.
"You should have seen me, Hue. I can do all those big brother things too." Although, he better not leave me to do that job all the time. The mother-hen look doesn't suit me like stunt double does.