JENNIE

Outside the Chicago Police Department, I squinted up at blue sky, waiting for Lisa since Cooper had asked for a moment alone with her.

When my handbag vibrated, I took out my phone. The screen flashed with Taehyung's name. I checked over my shoulder to make sure I was alone before answering.

"I've been trying to reach you," Taehyung said, urgency in his voice.

News traveled fast. Not too surprising—the legal community here wasn't as big as one might think. I took a deep breath. "You heard?"

"Yeah. Why didn't you let me know when you found out? You haven't picked up anyone's calls."

"Cooper had me put my phone on silent," I said. "And what do you mean when I 'found out'?"

He sighed, sounding . . . irritated? "Look, I know you've been raised to keep things like this inside. I've learned to deal with that. But this is huge, Jen—you can't shut me out."

Twin threads of relief and surprise worked their way through me. My first encounter with Mark had worried Taehyung, but in truth, part of me had questioned how much of it was concern for my well-being . . . and how much was him seeing an opportunity to get me to leave the city.

"I'm sorry I worried you," I said. "But I'm okay. How'd you find out?"

"Mack."

"Mack?" I asked. "Mack Donovan?"

"Well, yeah," Taehyung said as if it were obvious. "He called me when he couldn't reach you."

I frowned. "How'd he find out?"

"What are you talking about? She's his wife," Taehyung said. "And who's Cooper?"

His wife? "Davena?" I asked. "What does she have to do with this?"

With Taehyung's answering silence, the hair on the back of my jkkkk rose. Was there news about Davena? That could be anything from remission to . . .

"Is—is she okay?" I asked, panic threading my words. "Is she back in the hospital?"

"Jennie," Taehyung said gently. "She passed last night. She's gone."

Gone? I froze. Or, I thought I had. I somehow found my ass landing hard on the metal seat of a bench. "What . . . how?"

"I don't think Mack or Davena wanted us to know how advanced the cancer was."

"Last time I saw her, she said the doctors weren't optimistic. She was trying to tell me . . . and I never got to say . . ."

Could it be? All that life, light, love—gone? Without so much as a good-bye?

What about Mack? He had to be utterly shattered.

I gripped the arm of the bench as my chest collapsed. Davena had warned me I'd only have one shot at life. She must've known it was the end.

I waited for tears as I stared at the mottled, gray sidewalk under my feet. Despite watching her grow frailer, it'd never occurred to me that . . . that she'd actually die .

How could this happen? How could someone leave, just like that? How could she let that happen, when we needed her here? How, how, how —

I wanted Taehyung. To hug him, to have him tell me it would be okay, to come home so we could cry together. And I wanted to be alone. To hide my emptiness from him. Because I couldn't cry. I didn't even have the urge. Was I too cold and hardened? How could I feel everything and nothing?

I opened my mouth to tell him all of it. How much it hurt to lose someone who'd been a mother to me when my own couldn't. How I hated that we hadn't been there when she'd passed, or that I'd missed the true meaning in her words last week. Then maybe, when he got home tonight, I'd even share the truth behind the scar on my side, all the ugly details.

The weight of everything I held inside was suddenly greater than the pain I avoided by keeping Taehyung at a distance.

"Jennie?" Taehyung asked. "You still there?"

People passed on the sidewalk. Potted trees at the curb smelled of damp soil. Beneath me, the bench was strong and supportive.

I needed someone else to carry this grief. And maybe Taehyung just . . . couldn't. Maybe that was why I shielded him from the things that haunted me most. He'd try to rationalize it all away, slipping and sliding over the parts he didn't get so he could solve this and move on. I didn't want that. But I shouldn't have to do it on my own. It wasn't fair.

Davena had asked me to try to open up. Before it was too late.

I put my head between my knees. Sometimes I could hardly keep from crying out because of all the things I held inside. Taehyung might think I was cold, but fear, pain, beauty, love—I felt it all. It was too much to keep inside, but I didn't know how to speak it. I couldn't tell Taehyung I was scared to love him the way he deserved. If I told my mom all the ways she'd hurt me, she'd just respond with all the fabricated ways my father was to blame. There wasn't room for two victims in our relationship. And my dad had dealt with enough of that from her for a lifetime. He expected the emotional strength he'd instilled in me.

I steeled myself, sat up, and looked over my shoulder toward the station. I met Lisa's concerned gaze as she stood near the doors. She was giving me distance. To speak to my husband. Who was waiting for me to respond.

"I'm at the police station," I said.

"What?" Taehyung asked. "Are you all right?"

"Mark Alvarez came to my office last night. I thought you were calling about that." Lisa didn't take her eyes off me for a second. "Mark was more aggressive this time, but the cops arrived just in time."

"Holy shit, Jennie. Did he hurt you?"

"I'm fine," I said. "I'll tell you the whole story later, but I just gave a statement, and he's in custody."

"I knew that bastard would break his parole," Taehyung said. "You said earlier you're with Cooper? The detective?"

"He said he knows you."

"I'll give him a call now," Taehyung said. "But you really shouldn't talk to the police without me present."

"It all happened so fast, and Cooper called us in first thing—"

"Us?"

I took a breath. If I didn't tell Taehyung about Lisa, Cooper would. "One of the bachelorette's from the article was in the office," I said. "She's the one who called the police."

"Jesus."

"She was just filling in some details for the piece," I explained. "We could've probably done it over the phone, but—"

"Thank God you didn't and that she was there," Taehyung said. "Is she with you now? Thank her for me, all right?"

An uncomfortable knot formed in my stomach. It didn't even occur to Taehyung that someone else could threaten our relationship. I'd made him feel safe in our marriage, as he'd done for me. That was not just the vows we'd taken, but also the silent contract we had—don't rock the boat. I nodded. "I will."

"So Mark's in custody, right?" he sighed. "You're not in any danger?"

I bit my bottom lip. Cooper had sounded confident that Mark's threats were all bluster. "The detective said the gang the Alvarezes were part of won't care enough to retaliate."

"They think Mark's a snitch," Taehyung confirmed. "They won't bother with you." He paused. "My flight's tomorrow night. Should I change it and come home now?"

If he had to ask, then no. Taehyung's workload never ended these days, and while I wanted him here, his clients needed him, too. Nothing would change by tomorrow. I could make it until then to hold him and reminisce about Davena.

My event—I'd almost forgotten. I couldn't miss tonight's Meet and Greet for anything, and if I dragged Taehyung along, he'd hate every moment.

"I'll be fine," I said. "I have that work event later and a lot to do before it starts."

"I'd say skip it, but at least it'll keep you occupied," he said.

"Beman will be there, so everything has to be perfect." My promotion was riding on every detail of this feature until it published. Focusing on that was much more appealing than wallowing at home.

"What a fucking week you've had, babe. I'll get home as soon as I can." He cleared his throat. "I should get back to work, but I'll call Cooper first. He can be kind of a dick—did he treat you all right?"

"He was great," I said. "He's been very on top of it. You don't need to call him. I know how busy you—"

"He'll want to talk to me, and I should thank him anyway. Your bachelorette, too. I'll check in with you in a few hours, K?"

Taehyung and Cooper were going to talk. Now. I'd suspected they would, but it didn't stop my throat from closing. I forced myself up from the bench, absentmindedly massaging my chest. "Okay. Bye."

Within seconds of hanging up, Lisa—my bachelorette , as Taehyung had called her—was at my side. "Is he on his way?"

I rubbed my temple. "Who?"

She nodded at my cell. "Him ."

How did Lisa even know who'd called? I tucked the phone back into my purse. "No."

"No what? When's he coming back?"

"He has a lot of work and missing even a day sets him back."

"It's almost the goddamn weekend."

"Do you take every weekend off?" I asked.

Her nostrils flared the same way they had before she'd exploded during the interview just now.

"I didn't think so," I said.

"I would, if—"

"It doesn't matter," I said. My marriage wasn't any of her business. "What did Cooper want?" I asked, changing the subject.

Lisa glanced away. "To make sure you and I were telling the truth. He said if we lied about anything important to cover up an affair, our statements could be inadmissible."

My cheeks flushed with the word affair . "We didn't lie," I said. "And my husband is about to call Cooper. If he says anything—"

"He won't," Lisa said. "He's been around a long time, and he knows how to be discreet."

"There's nothing to be discreet about," I snapped.

Fuck. Why had I been so stupid as to spend the night with Lisa? Why had she come to my office so late? Why hadn't I insisted on giving separate statements and putting distance between us?

My heart pounded so hard at the thought of Cooper saying something to make Taehyung suspicious, I couldn't even look at Lisa. I turned away and headed for the spot along the curb where Lisa had parked.

"Jennie—"

"We should send Cooper a fruit basket or something for his help."

"He'll definitely think we're sleeping together if we send a joint fruit basket."

As I reached the passenger's side of her Porsche, I whirled to face her. "This isn't funny."

"I didn't say it was. I'm just pointing out that a fruit basket would look suspicious."

"That would make him suspicious?" I shot back. "Not being together late at night? Not your reaction in there?"

Lisa didn't respond as she opened the car door for me and made her way around the trunk to the driver's side.

I looked at her over the roof of the Porsche. "Why were you so upset?"

"Not were, Jennie. Am. I am upset, and for a lot of reasons. For one, it pisses me off that your husband's not—"

"Wait," I said, holding up my hand. "It's fine. I don't need to know. Let's not drag Taehyung into this."

"This is his goddamn mess. I can't stay silent. Why isn't he on a flight right this minute?"

"He offered, but I'm a big girl. He has work to do, and so do I." I slipped into the front seat, pulled the door closed behind me, and buckled my seatbelt.

Lisa got behind the wheel but didn't start the car. "I saw your face out there. You're in pain. You're scared—and I don't blame you." She gripped the steering wheel. "That fucker invaded your space. He . . ."

I wanted to tell Lisa that I wasn't upset because of Mark. I fought the urge to share Davena's death. Who she'd been to me, and how the world had dimmed in her absence.

How my life had turned upside down overnight, and that I was realizing just how quickly things could change.

But opening up to Lisa wouldn't be fair to Taehyung.

"This goes deeper than someone threatening you," Lisa said more calmly than I expected, shifting in her seat to face me. "Tell me what's running through your mind. Even if it feels stupid or insignificant."

Cars passed as we sat unmoving. I'd been strong for years, keeping the hurt inside and managing from one day to the next. Couldn't I make it one more night before dissolving? Because that was what I wanted to do. To let someone else take over for a while.

The silence became uncomfortable. I kept my eyes out my window. "I need to get to my office."

"What about after tonight's event? Will you be okay?" Lisa asked. "You can't stay alone."

If she even considered suggesting I spend the night again, then she was delusional. I turned to her. "Both Cooper and Taehyung confirmed we'll be safe."

"That doesn't put me at ease."

"You're in as much danger as I am," I said. "Will you be okay?"

She snorted. "I'll be fine."

I tilted my head. "You shouldn't be alone, either. Perhaps you should find someone to stay with you."

"I could find someone faster than you could snap your fingers, honeybee," she said. "In fact, I already have a dinner date. I was going to cancel, but maybe I'll just bring her to the party."

I resisted from clenching my teeth. Lisa's bachelorette could make my career, but that didn't mean I didn't hate the thought of her with other women. The idea of someone else having her undivided attention, her big, strong hands, her strength and support . . .

"Bring her then." My surroundings focused sharply as I forced a smile. "An event celebrating your single life is kind of a weird first date, but I doubt she'll even notice. She'll be too grateful for just the opportunity to spend a few hours with you."

Lisa's knuckles whitened around the steering wheel as she stared forward. "I'm not the one making it seem like I'm some hotshot bachelorette. You want me to be some kind of womanizer, either because it's easier for you to handle or because it'll sell magazines—"

"You agreed to this."

"For you," she said, turning her beautiful brown eyes on me. "To spend time with you. I'm putting my reputation on the line to spend a little time with you, and your shitty husband won't even fly a few hours to make sure you're not murdered in the middle of the night."

I blinked at her. I didn't even know where to begin with that. "You can't say things like that."

"I'll say what I want until you find a way to shut me up. And you haven't yet." She searched my eyes. "You're looking for more. You tell me to slow down while keeping your foot on the gas. If you want me to save you, Jennie, I can. I will. But you can't put all of this on me all of the time."

My throat dried as my mouth hung open. "All of what?"

"You act like there's nothing between us, and I warned you, I'm not buying that shit anymore when we're alone. Tell me you haven't fantasized about leaving him for me, and I'll walk away now. For good."

Two words needed to leave my mouth that instant.

I don't.

I don't fantasize about you.

About what our life together would be.

About what would've happened if I'd met you first.

How hard could it be to say all of that, even if it was a lie? My hands shook in my lap. Nobody had spoken this way to me in . . . maybe ever. Nobody had questioned me like this, pushed me, demanded more.

"See? You can't deny it," she said, sitting back. "And that's enough reason for me to stay and try."

"Try what?" I rasped, the words scraping from my throat.

Try to steal me away? I wanted her to say it as I simultaneously wished she'd keep her mouth shut.

She looked through the windshield. "I can tell you right now what's going to happen tonight. There's no way in hell I'm letting you go home alone. So you'd better find a goddamn place to sleep or you're coming back to my place again."

"What do you want from me?" I exploded. "I'm a married woman. I can't spend the night in someone's apartment. I—"

"You already did." Her eyes gleamed. "And I warned you what would happen a second time."

"Next time I get you willingly alone in my apartment, even the gentleman in me will step aside."

I ignored the ache her words inspired between my legs and cleared the grit from my throat. "You heard what Cooper said. There's no danger. Mark's in custody. Taehyung will be home tomorrow night." I crossed my arms over my seatbelt. "I'll be fine."

"I have to say, I'm sick and tired of this 'fine' bullshit. Does he really accept that from you?"

I widened my eyes at Lisa. "What are you talking about?"

"You're always saying everything is fine, even though it's not. It's fine that you were attacked last night? It's fine that you're obviously experiencing some heavy, traumatic shit? Does anyone care enough to question whether or not you're actually fine?"

"Excuse me?" I asked. "What are you saying? That Taehyung doesn't care?"

"How can anyone in your presence not care about you? I'm sure he does. What I'm saying is, I don't think that he, or your friends for that matter, know you as well as they think."

"And what, you do after knowing me for a minute?"

"It didn't take me weeks to understand you better than them," she snapped. "And I saw everything I needed to in that moment at the theater."

It was the first time either of us had ever mentioned the intensity that'd passed between us, and the atmosphere thickened with tension.

"You are impossible to read if you're not paying attention, but I am. And I may not know the details yet, but I know you ."

I reeled back. "Does that line seriously work for you?"

With a grunt, she sat back, unruffled. "All right, Jennie. If that's how you want to play it. Call me a fucking playgirl again because it's safer than the truth."

"What do you think the truth is?" I asked.

"If you want a satisfactory marriage with someone who's incapable of loving you the way you deserve, then get out of my car and let's end this for good." She shrugged. "I can't help you unless you meet me at least part of the way."

"Satisfactory?" I cried through gritted teeth. "Taehyung adores me, and everyone knows it." I faltered, completely flustered. "He's an amazing husband who treats me—"

"How?" Lisa leaned in and looked me full in the face. "How does he treat you?" She demanded, her eyes boring into mine. Her voice lowered into a rumble. "You have no idea what I'd do with you."

My legs sweat against the car's gummy leather, and I shifted, transported back to the theater, when the red velvet seats had pricked my thighs, Lisa's presence clinging to me.

She was too close.

Too comfortable.

And the way she looked at me and saw everything—had always seen everything, from that first glance—was too much.

It threatened everything I'd built. Not just my marriage, but all the little stitches I'd put in place to hold myself together.

"You want to know how it feels to belong to someone like me." Lisa licked her lips. "Admit it, Jennie, and I'll make it happen. We met too late—but we can still do something about it."

I gaped at her. "What—what are you saying?"

"You're made for me, Jennie. And I'm made for you. If you run away like you're about to, you'll always wonder what kind of love we could've had."

"Don't be r-ridiculous." I had love already. And if I didn't, it was because I didn't want it and all the bullshit that came with it. I fumbled to escape from the seatbelt. "We're done."

"I assumed as much. Here, let me," She said coolly and slipped her hand down between my thigh and those sticky leather seats. Her hand lingered against my bare skin, at the hem of my dress, and my pulse pounded. She bent closer so that I could almost touch my lips to her neck. Her faint, earthy scent left me dizzy and pining for more.

Her fingertips grazed along my outer thigh as she searched for the release, and it was all I could do not to spontaneously combust from desire. My breath caught in my throat.

Do not squirm, do not squirm. That's exactly what she wants.

She pushed the button and the seatbelt jumped into my shaking hands. Lisa leaned back into her seat and stuck her chin in her hand, looking back through the driver's side window.

I pushed the door open and hurried back out to the sidewalk, but I couldn't bring myself to slam the door. After taking a breath to collect myself, I said, "Maybe you were right yesterday. Maybe any type of relationship is impossible."

She looked over at me with an unreadable expression. "And maybe I'll skip tonight," she said.

I froze. Everything I'd done the past few weeks had been for this article, and Lisa was at the center of it. "You promised you'd be there."

"I did. But you're testing my control, and I can't make you any more promises."

I gaped at her. "What does that mean?"

She locked her golden-brown irises on me. "When you find yourself alone and aching for something nobody around you can give you, when everything feels too heavy, and you want someone else to shoulder the burden—don't you dare look to me."

She could shoulder it—and she would if I asked her to. That was the problem. "I won't," I promised.

She cocked her head. "You say that, but you don't mean it. If I see in your eyes all the things you're too scared to admit one more time, then it's on."

"What's on?" I asked breathlessly.

"I will fight for you with zero regard for the destruction I leave behind. It will make the war over Helen of Troy look like a child's game. That's why I can't come tonight," she said, "unless you look me in the eye right now and tell me you don't want me. And you fucking mean it."

"Don't flatter yourself," I said and slammed the door.

Oh, God. She'd fight for me? At just the thought, excitement pounded my heart as I stormed off—and indignation shook my body. How dare she question my marriage, give me an ultimatum, and assume she'd be the one I'd go to when I felt the most alone?

She'd been lying to herself since the moment we'd met eyes at the theater. This was lust, nothing more. It could not conceivably or plausibly be anything more.

"You're made for me, Jennie. And I'm made for you . . ."

As in soulmates ?

I nearly laughed. How many other women had fallen for that with the flash of her seductive grin?

That was it. This was done. And, I realized, it had to happen this way. When it came to Lisa Manoban, an explosive fight culminating in an ultimatum I couldn't accept was the only way to finally end this.