A/N: Hi guys I'm back! Thank you so much for the reviews. It really means a lot. Here's Part VII. I really hope you like it. Please review and let me know what you think. Love, Ellivia22
Disclaimer: I sadly don't own The Outsiders.
I Need You
Part VII
Sodapop
Ponyboy trembled beside me. My arm throbbed as his grip tightened more and more as time passed by. To distract myself from the pain I stroked his hair and whispered soothing words to him in hopes of calming him down. The sun was starting to come up and I could see part of the sunrise from our bedroom window. Judging by how much time had passed since Darry brought Ponyboy to bed, this nightmare must've been a really bad one.
I had spent many sleepless nights the past couple of months soothing Ponyboy from his nightmares. I would usually be exhausted afterward from staying up all night, but I didn't mind. I loved taking care of my baby brother. It made me feel needed. At least he wasn't screaming bloody murder this time. Every time he did, I wouldn't be able to get that horrifying sound out of my head for the rest of the day. Like every time this happened, I wondered what Ponyboy was dreaming about. He never seemed to remember, but I had a feeling it had to do with our parents' deaths. He missed them as much as I did.
Ponyboy suddenly stirred. His death grip on my arm lessened as he opened his eyes. He looked as exhausted as I felt. "Are you okay, Pony," I asked gently. I continued stroking his hair. "Bad dream?"
He sat up quickly. He was breathing heavily, and his body was still trembling. He wiped the sweat off his forehead. I sat up too and put my arm around his shoulders in hopes of being comforting. I gave him a small squeeze. "It's okay. It was just a nightmare."
"Darry," Ponyboy gasped. He looked at me frantically, his brown eyes wide with terror. "W-where's Darry?"
I looked at him in surprise. "It's a little after seven. He's probably in the kitchen making us breakfast."
Ponyboy scrambled off the bed and bolted out of the room faster than I could blink. I stared after him in shock. Whatever he dreamed about must've really scared him. I have a feeling that it had to do with Darry. This made me feel hopeful and a little excited. I had been waiting for this moment for weeks. My brothers were finally going to make up. Finally, we're going to be a family again.
My smile immediately vanished when I entered the kitchen a few minutes later. Ponyboy was sitting alone at the kitchen table. His head was bent. My heart ached to see the tears falling down his face. It hurt so much to see him suffering. I wanted more than anything to take away his pain-if only I knew how. I cautiously approached my baby brother. I knelt in front of him. "Pony," I whispered. "What's wrong?"
After a moment, Ponyboy looked at me. "I…I miss Darry."
His words caught me off guard. I suppressed the urge to grin. It wasn't easy. Finally, Ponyboy admitted something that I knew all along. Despite everything Ponyboy vented to me the night Darry hit him, he still loved our older brother. He was ready to forgive him. I smoothed his hair back. "Hey don't worry. He'll be up soon and you two can talk." Like you two should have done a long time ago, I thought to myself. He looked away. I noticed a note on the table.
Soda,
I left for work early. The keys to the truck are on the coffee table. I'll see you tonight.
Darry
Why did he walk to work again? I asked myself in confusion.
I pushed Darry temporarily out of my mind. He must've had a good reason. Maybe he had to be at work early and forgot to tell me about it and decided to leave me the truck. All that mattered right now was cheering up my little brother. Tears were still running down Ponyboy's cheeks. I continued stroking his hair. "Listen Pony. I don't want you to worry about nothin'. Just take it easy, okay?"
Ponyboy nodded. His eyes were still focused on the ground, but his tears had stopped falling. "Soda…. there's somethin' I need to tell you."
"What?" I asked.
"The other day when Johnny and I were at the park-."
SLAM!
"Mornin'!" Two-Bit greeted cheerfully. I noticed Steve and Johnny were right behind him. Steve was already dressed in his blue DX uniform.
"Mornin'" I greeted. I turned my attention back to my brother. "What were you sayin' Pony?"
Ponyboy forced a grin on his face. The fear from his nightmare was still in his brown eyes. "Nothin'. Go have a good day at work. We'll talk later."
I sighed. I didn't want to leave Ponyboy alone, but he was right. It was time to go to work. There were bills to pay. I stood up, ruffling his hair. "Have a good day, Pony. Everythin' will be okay when we get home. I promise."
As I left the kitchen, I hoped that the day would go by quickly. The sooner we got home, the sooner Darry and Ponyboy would make up. Then life will go back to normal-something I've been wanting for two long weeks.
I felt a cold hand on my shoulder, making me jump out of my skin. It was like I was floating in space and suddenly came crashing back to Earth. It took several seconds before I was able to remember that I wasn't in the kitchen with my little brother, but sitting in the truck, on our way to pick up Darry from work. Steve was sitting across from me, a very worried look on his face. "I zoned out again, didn't I?"
"Yup." My best friend continued to stare at me. "You've been doin' that all day. You ain't thinkin' about Sandy, are you?"
I swallowed hard at the mention of my ex-girlfriend's name. Being without her still hurt a lot. It was like a thousand hot coals were placed against my heart every time I thought about her. Surprisingly Steve had been very supportive since I told him about the breakup at the rodeo the other night.
"No." I answered shortly. "Just thinkin' about Darry and Ponyboy."
"I thought things were getting' better."
"They were…they are…" I sighed, running a hand through my hair. "Things will get better once they finally talk to each other."
I turned my attention back to the gravel road that we'd been driving on for the past ten minutes. The house that Darry was currently working on was at the end of an unfinished subdivision of new houses being built. It was only a fifteen-minute drive from the house, so at least Darry didn't have to walk too far. It had been a long day at the DX gas station. Usually, I enjoyed working there, but today seemed to drag on. All I could think about was how devastated Ponyboy was this morning when he realized that Darry had already left for work.
Why did he leave so early anyway? I asked myself again for the millionth time. I pressed harder on the gas pedal. The sooner I got there, the sooner I could ask Darry that question.
A few minutes later I pulled the truck in front of an unfinished two-story house at the end of the street. There were several ladders on both sides of the house and multiple bundles of ruffin were scattered everywhere. Darry was standing by a large picnic table, which was scattered with assorted tools and other items. He was talking to the same sandy-haired kid he was talking to the last time I picked him up. That must be Austin. I honked the horn.
BEEP BEEP!
Darry didn't waste a second. He grabbed his brown satchel from off the table. Instead of going to the passenger side of the truck, he opened the driver's side door where I was sitting. His face was beet red and drenched in sweat. He looked utterly exhausted-unfortunately a look I was used to. I also couldn't help but notice he had a nice black eye. He must've got that working at the bar last night.
"Thanks for picking me up." His voice was as tired as he looked. His eyes were focused on the steering wheel. "I'll drive."
I unbuckled my seatbelt and scooted over next to Steve. The moment Darry slid into the truck I immediately knew that something was wrong. My big brother rarely showed his emotions, but I knew him well enough to know that he was upset. Very upset. His body was stiff as a board and his eyebrows were lowered and knitted together. His eyes stared intently at the road, but I noticed he was blinking rapidly and swallowing repeatedly. I hadn't seen him this upset since the day we found out that Mom and Dad had been killed.
"Are…are you okay?" I asked uncertainly.
His eyes remained on the road as turned off the gravel road and onto the paved street. His expression remained blank. "I'm fine," he said. His tone was cool and flat. "Just tired is all."
Steve and I glanced at each other. Something was definitely wrong. Darry had never spoken to me like that before. So…cold. Did something happen at work? Or was the conflict with Ponyboy taking its toll on him? Or did I do something to anger him? I had to cheer him up. I knew exactly how to do it.
I cleared my throat. "So, uh, Pony was lookin' for you this mornin'. He was awfully upset that you left." Darry didn't say anything. "I think he's finally realized that what happened that night was an accident."
His eyes stayed fixed on the road. I shook his shoulder not so gently. "Hey…did you hear me?!"
"Huh?" Darry said after a second. It looked like I had pulled him away from a very deep thought-just like Steve had done to me a few minutes ago. "Sorry, Soda. What did you say?"
"I said, Ponyboy was lookin' for you this mornin'. He misses you."
Nothing.
I sighed. He obviously had other things on his mind. I refused to let his strange behavior bother me. Everything will be fine once we get home. I turned to Steve and started chatting with him about the different cars we saw at the gas station today.
In no time at all we arrived at the house. Steve and I bounced out of the truck before Darry turned off the engine. When I entered the house, I found Ponyboy sitting on the couch. He was wearing his brown coat over a white T-shirt and jeans. He was reading a book called Gone With the Wind to Johnny, who was sitting in Darry's armchair. Ponyboy looked much more relaxed than this morning. That made me feel a lot better.
"Hey Pony," I greeted cheerfully. "How are you doin? Ain't the movie startin' soon?"
Ponyboy grinned at me, putting the book on the coffee table. "Yeah. It started ten minutes ago. I just wanted to see Darry first….and you too, of course," he added quickly.
I grinned.
Ponyboy looked past me. "Where is Darry?"
He's right behind-." I turned around. My heart dropped to my stomach. Through the screen door, I saw that the truck was no longer parked in front of the house. "…me."
Darry was gone.
Ponyboy
He's avoiding me. Why is Darry avoiding me? I don't understand.
The first Paul Newman movie shown at the drive-in theater was called "The Hustler". It was about a small-time pool hustler who challenged a legendary pool player named Minnesota Fats for money and ends up falling in love with an alcoholic. I had seen this movie several times. It was one of my favorites. Sandwiched between Dally and Johnny I tried hard to focus my attention on the movie. It was a good thing I had seen it before because I hadn't paid attention to a single scene. All I could do was think about Darry.
Darry and I never got along as good as Sodapop and I did. We would argue and fight about stupid stuff, but we always made up at the end of the day. After Mom and Dad died our fights got worse and more frequent. Darry would always yell and lecture me, but he had never been so angry with me that he'd completely ignore me. It had been more than twenty-four hours since I'd seen my oldest brother, but it felt like it had been a lifetime. I had never missed him more than I did right at this moment.
My hand absently fished for popcorn in the white and red bag in my lap. My fingers touched the bottom. All that was left was popcorn kernels. I couldn't believe I had finished it already. We were only half hour in. I decided to get some more.
"Want anythin'?" I mumbled to Johnny.
My buddy shook his head, his dark eyes focused on the screen. I got up from my chair and moved past Dally. I saw Two-Bit grinning cheekily at me as he drank a beer with Tim Shepard's gang across the way. I grinned back.
The concession stand was in the far back close to where the ticket booth was located. The drive-in was full tonight with a mixture of both Greasers and Socs. I guessed it was full because after "The Hustler" was over the theater was going to show "Lady L", Paul Newman's most recent film. Thankfully I hadn't seen Bob or Randy's cars. Nor had I seen Cherry or Marcia. After my vivid nightmare last night, I was glad. I still hadn't been able to get those horrifying images out of my head.
The strong smell of butter invaded my nostrils. I grabbed one of the bags of popcorn from the tray and then handed the cashier my money. Now that I had more popcorn, I found that I wasn't really that hungry anymore.
As I made my way back, I had the sudden urge to go home. For the first time in my life, I wasn't having a good time at the movies. Instead, I felt…depressed. My chest felt heavy as if it was being weighed down by Darry's dumbbells. My throat was tight, and my eyes burned. All I wanted to do now was go home, crawl into bed, and let my emotions out until I fell asleep.
Suddenly I felt strong arms grab me by the shoulders, making me drop my popcorn. A hand clamped over my mouth before I could make a sound and I was dragged behind the concession stand. The next thing I knew I was slammed hard against the wall, knocking the breath out of me.
BAM!
I stared horrified into Bob's furious face. He was glaring daggers into me with green eyes, his blonde curls messier than usual. My heart pounded so hard against my chest that I thought it was going to burst. Being so close to him I could smell the beer on his breath. He had been drinking. He didn't look drunk yet, but it looked like he was getting close. You're a greaser I told myself. You're a Greaser and you're not afraid. Despite my mental mantra, my entire body shook as I felt the fear consuming me. My nightmare was about to come true. I wanted to yell out to Dally, Two-Bit, Johnny, anybody, but I was too frightened to speak.
"You listen and you listen good, Greaser. If you don't stop harassing my girl, I'll make you regret the day you were born. You ain't good enough to lick her heels. You're scum!" Bob pulled back his fist. I closed my eyes and braced myself for the excruciating pain I was about to suffer.
"BOB NO! Leave him alone!"
When I opened my eyes again, I saw Cherry and Marcia standing a few feet away from us. Randy was next to them with a tray of popcorn and cokes in his hands. His expression was full of hatred, just like Bob's. Cherry looked as terrified as I felt. Her eyes were wide and I could see her trembling.
"Stay out of this, Cherry," Bob said. He tightened his grip on my T-shirt. "I'm giving this filthy Greaser what he deserves."
"He did nothing wrong! He's just a kid. I mean it, Bob. Leave him alone or we're through!"
After the longest moment I had ever experienced in my life Bob let go of his tight grip on my shirt. "You're right, Cherry. I should be nicer, even if he is a Greaser. Like you said, he's just a kid."
Bob's arm went around my shoulders as a gesture of goodwill. I trembled at his touch, still utterly terrified. He leaned closer. "This ain't over," he whispered in my ear. "Next time I catch you alone I will kill you. Then I'll take care of your friend with the scar-like I should've done the last time."
The Soc then pushed me, not so gently toward Cherry and Marcia. Cherry's expression changed from terrified to relief. She smiled at me, which I didn't return.
Once I was free from Bob's clutches, I didn't waste a second. I bolted as fast as my legs would carry me away from Bob, Cherry, Marica, and Randy that I could get. I could hear Cherry calling my name, but I ignored her. I ran so fast it was like I was in the middle of the 200-meter dash. My heart was still pounding hard in my chest and the adrenaline ran through me like I had chugged an energy drink. I couldn't stop shaking.
When I arrived back at our spot I was breathing heavily, and the sweat was pouring down my face. Dally raised an eyebrow as soon as he saw me. He took a drag of his cigarette casually. "Where have ya been, kid? You're missin' the movie."
"Pony?" Johnny said in alarm. His dark eyes were wide. I must've looked like a bomb about to go off. "What's the matter? You look like you just saw a ghost."
I didn't answer him. "Come on," I said to Johnny.
"Where are we goin?"
"I'll tell you on the way."
As fast as we could we left the movie theater. Now that I had experienced Bob's threat firsthand I had only one destination in mind. The reality was, I wasn't safe. Neither was Johnny. We were in big trouble and there was only one person who could help us now; one person who was big and strong and could protect us from the wrath of a jealous Soc.
We needed Darry.
It was nearly eight o'clock when the bus dropped us off at the stop in the middle of Tulsa. From there it took us five minutes to walk to the bar that Darry worked at called "Greasewood Flats." At first, I was so nervous about being this far out in town. I had gone through three cigarettes just to steady my nerves. Bob could be lurking around the corner. Then I remembered Johnny still had his switchblade. The parking lot was packed with cars. There was a mixture of Soc and Greaser cars. It was as if the rest of the town who wasn't at the movie was here. I walked swiftly toward the bar doors with fierce determination, Johnny right behind me.
"I'm not sure we should be doin' this," Johnny said from beside me, taking a drag from his own cigarette. "Darry will skin ya alive if he catches us here."
"That's exactly what I want," I muttered. "Maybe then he'll finally remember that I exist." I pulled open the heavy white doors and stepped inside.
I had never been inside a bar before, so I wasn't sure what to expect. There were two sections of tables filled with a mixture of Greasers and Socs having drinks. A couple of pool tables were in the corner. At the back of the building was a long table, which I assumed to be the bar area. The bar smelled strongly of cigarette smoke. Loud music blared from speakers hanging on the walls, vibrating in my ears. I felt as though I was about to go deaf. Right in front of us was a podium made out of wood and had a gold sign with the bar's name on it. From what Sodapop told me usually this was where Darry would be to check IDs and make sure that nobody entered that wasn't supposed to. To my surprise, my brother was nowhere to be found. He must be on break or something.
"Ponyboy…" I looked at Johnny. His tanned face looked paler than normal; his dark eyes were huge as he saw a group of older Socs eyeing us from a circular table by the pool table. I felt bad for dragging my buddy into this, especially since he was still spooked from his jumping four months ago.
"Don' worry. We'll be fine as soon as we find-."
"PONYBOY MICHAEL CURTIS," a familiar voice boomed over the loud music, making the both of us jump out of our skins. I grinned to myself. There he was. "Get the hell out of here! NOW!"
I felt a strong hand seize me by the bicep painfully. The other hand grabbed Johnny as well. I glanced up at my brother, dressed in his Navy blue polo work shirt and jeans. Darry's blue eyes were blazing. He looked absolutely furious. The last time I saw him this angry was the night he hit me. I noticed he was sporting a heavy black eye, and his lip was bleeding. I didn't realize that being a bouncer was so rough. I didn't fight my older brother as he practically carried Johnny and me out of the bar.
Darry didn't let go until we were at the edge of the parking lot. "Now get on home, you hear? If I catch you here again, I'll skin you!"
"No." I didn't move. I forced myself to stand my ground and look my brother in the eye. "I ain't leavin'"
"What the hell did you say to me?!"
"Pony…" Johnny began. I ignored him.
"I said I ain't leavin!"
Darry's rage was evident. I could see him shaking, his face turning red in fury. It was almost like he was back to his old self. Instead of being afraid of him, like I normally would, I welcomed his fury. "Oh yes you are, even if I have to drive you home myself!"
"GOOD!" I yelled back.
My brother looked taken aback by my answer. The expression on his face softened slightly. His blue eyes were still blazing. "What?"
"I said good. I want you to take me home." I swallowed hard. "Darry…I want you to come home."
He suddenly looked concerned. "Is something wrong? Is Sodapop all right?"
"He's fine," I assured him.
Darry looked relieved for a split second. Then his expression went blank. "I'm sure Soda can help you then. He's the only one you need, right?" I stared at him in confusion. What was he talking about? He continued before I could get a word out. "After all I know you'd be happy if I disappeared and you never saw me again." I winced as I heard his voice crack with the last word.
I started to protest but then got lost in Darry's blue eyes. There was so much pain that I almost recoiled. It looked like he was struggling to hold back the tears. I had never seen my older brother like this before, not even when Mom and Dad died. It was as if his world was collapsing around him. There was no denying that I was angry at Darry for hitting me, but he was still my big brother. I loved him and always would. Why all of a sudden did he think that I didn't? Was it because I had been keeping my distance for the past couple of weeks?
I hate him and wish I'd never have to see him again.
My heart sank. He must've overheard me venting to Sodapop when I came home from the park-the night I said a lot of things I didn't mean. That explained why he had been avoiding me, why his blue eyes looked so sad all the time. I hurt him. I hurt him badly and he didn't deserve it even if he did hit me.
"Please Darry," I pleaded once I was able to find my voice again. I so badly wanted to apologize for what I said, but for some reason, I couldn't get the words out. "I…I.."
He turned his back on me. "Go home, Ponyboy."
He headed back to the bar. Silent tears fell down my face as I watched the door to the bar close shut. "But…I need you," I whimpered.
I felt my emotions collapse all around me. The tears were coming so fast I could barely see. My chest seared in pain. Darry's rejection was like a literal knife in the heart.
Johnny put an arm around my shoulders. "Come on," he said softly.
I allowed Johnny to lead me down the street and to the bus stop. I couldn't stop shedding tears no matter how hard I tried. I always thought my life would be better if Darry wasn't in it. Now that it actually happened, I felt more alone than ever. He didn't care about me anymore, and it was my fault. I pushed him away. Now I was paying for it.
Darry
It was fifteen minutes until one in the morning. The bar was finally starting to quiet down since the final call for drinks was at 12:30. Only two customers were left, sloshing their drinks quickly. To pass the time until we closed at 1 AM I helped my co-workers close up the bar.
I yawned as I moved several empty glasses to a tray, then moved it to the side so I could wipe down the table. I was so exhausted. I always was after working this late. I couldn't wait to get home so I could go to bed. Then tomorrow I had to do it all over again.
All I could think about while I was cleaning up was Ponyboy. My chest was extremely tight, and my stomach was tied up in knots from the guilt. I had been wishing for so long that he would ask me to come home, yet when he finally did, I turned him away. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get the devastated look on his face out of my mind. It was worse than the way he looked at me after I hit him. I hurt him, and I had no right to-no matter how much he had hurt me. And he wasn't the only one I had hurt today.
I picked up the wooden chair beside me and placed it on top of the table. Then I did the same to the chair next to it. My thoughts immediately turned to Sodapop. I was supposed to be taking care of him too and had been doing a lousy job of it. Instead of letting him be a kid as much as I could, I had been putting more responsibilities on his shoulders. Worst of all, I knew I hurt him with my cold shoulder when he picked me up this afternoon-something he definitely didn't deserve. All he wanted was for Ponyboy and I to make up. He wanted us to be a family again.
At that moment the realization hit me like a rock in the face. It didn't matter if Ponyboy or Sodapop needed me or not. My job wasn't to be just a big brother or friend. I was supposed to provide for my family. I was supposed to protect them and care for them like Mom and Dad did. I was supposed to raise my brothers. I had failed miserably the past couple of weeks because I didn't put their needs first. I let my emotions of hurt and loneliness get in the way, instead of pushing them down like I always did. That was going to change. Now.
I peeled off my polo work shirt, revealing my white undershirt. I made my way over to my boss, Mr. Heyward. The heavyset fifty-something was counting the money that was in the register. He looked up at me. "Everythin' all right, Darrel?"
I took a deep breath and handed him the polo shirt. "This was my last shift. I have to take care of my family. Thank you for everything."
I left the bar. The cold air hit me hard, but I ignored it. I made my way to the truck. The great amount of stress weighing on my shoulders ebbed away. I had never felt so relieved. I didn't feel scared to talk to Ponyboy anymore. If anything, I felt even more determined. I was going to apologize to him tomorrow- if it's the last thing I do.
To be continued…