time out

A/N: I had a shot of creative energy and churned this out.

As always, feedback is greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading!

Kento doesn't pine. He struggles, trudges, flounders, and eventually falls.

AKA: Kento Nanami doesn't want a lot of things in life, but he wants her (in it).

When Yuriko first hears of Ryomen Sukuna, it's directly from the mouth of her grandmother.

"I'm sure you've heard of heard of him and what his kind have done during the Heian period."

Sure. Yes. Of course. The world of jujutsu sorcery was not as advanced as onmyodo at that time, but there were names that stood out, events that left a mark on the history of the supernatural. Their great ancestor, Ashiya Doman, was at the height of his career together with the now even more famous Abe no Seimei, but what of Ryomen Sukuna? In their historical archives, there are very few names related to jujutsu society as it is now.

Sure, there was Abe no Seimei's mentor, Kamo no Yasunori, whose descendants now formed the Kamo Clan. And there's the Gojo ancestor-turned-yokai, Sugawara no Michizane, along with its fellow Three Great Onryo, Taira no Masakado and Sutoku Tenmou, but nothing much about Ryomen Sukuna.

"The man who dared challenge the gods, and turned himself into a vessel of pure desecration," her grandmother explained dully, "because of jealousy, lust for recognition, greed for more than what he could have."

She asked, "Had he faced Ashiya Doman?"

"A draw."

"Abe no Seimei?"

"He knew he wouldn't survive the man chosen by the gods."

She thinks these are important facts most jujutsu sorcerers don't know.

"And jujutsu society just… overwhelmed us?"

Her grandmother scoffed and glared.

"The Kamo were the first to turn, and several smaller families followed, when the age of peace became poisoned with war and ambition, and the rest followed as you know. Ryomen Sukuna would have flourished in the imperial court had he been born decades later."

Of course, in a cruel irony, Abe no Seimei's descendants and Ashiya Doman's descendants made a pact, a kind of agreement, to keep the world of onmyodo alive, keep the gods and the deities appeased. And so the world is the way it is now; jujutsu sorcerers and onmyoji are essentially after the same thing.

"Jujutsu society will crumble in time, the onmyoji will not. We have persisted, we have survived, and so we will rise again."

Well… mostly. Jujutsu society is reactionary, onmyodo society is preventive. They can coexist, but only. They can never be the same.

"Is that what the gods tell you, Grandmother?"

"The gods tell me what they want to tell me."

"And what do they want you to tell me?"

Because there wouldn't be a reason why she, among the entire Usuzumi family, would be chosen. And she was chosen, wasn't she? For some kind of task or mission or pilgrimage. Her grandmother and onmyodo elders are already aware of what she does, of what she's done, of what she was made to do just because she finally managed to win the approval of a higher deity, higher than even–

"A god will awaken." Her grandmother sighed. "Normally, this wouldn't be of any concern to us onmyoji, but it seems the situation will be quick to turn dire."

What– What did she mean? Has she foreseen this already? Then why didn't the elders–

"Is jujutsu society aware of it?"

Her grandmother didn't answer her.

"Where is this god?"

Her grandmother closed her eyes.

"Buried in a mountain."

"Which one?"

Her grandmother shook her head. What–

"Why are you telling me this, Grandmother?"

"Because this god might be key in subduing Ryomen Sukuna, if not some other entity."

Right, she forgot that even though her grandmother was already on speaking terms with entities most people just pray to in temples, the gods won't tell her everything. Gods never ever tell people everything, not even their most devoted worshipers.

"'If not some other entity'?" She echoed, "What– Is there someone worse? Are the gods wanting for the world to end?"

"If that is their will."

She almost wanted to scream at her grandmother and all the gods sitting behind her with their unmoving faces. Would they have screamed back if she did? Then again, her grandmother wouldn't have told her all about this if she accepted it as it is. The world is going to end? No way! But again, why her? Out of all the entire family– Unless there's something else they're preparing for. Well, how can one prepare for the arrival of a god or whatever, anyway?

"Well, what will your gods have me do, Grandmother?"

Because, of course, she needed direction.

"Find Satoru Gojo."

That's–

"That's it?"

"Should Ryomen Sukuna awaken first, contain him."

What–

"I'm sure jujutsu society would have no qualms with an onmyoji doing it."

"By myself?"

"You've exorcised your cousin, haven't you?"

By the skin of her teeth, she wanted to admit, but her grandmother already knew that. That's one reason why she's suddenly the new favorite, favored by the onmyodo elders and that deity supposedly now connected to the world, again, through her. She knew she couldn't handle the pressure.

"Find Satoru Gojo, tell him and let the rest handle itself."

What did she mean?

"I don't suppose your gods have told you when this will happen, Grandmother?"

"Soon."

She blinked. What the fu–

"Shit."

Her grandmother glared at her. In response, she chuckled nervously and asked:

"Well, I don't suppose your gods have given you a plane ticket for me?"

"Hurry, granddaughter."

So she hurried. She gathered what materials she thought she would need. She prayed to whatever gods she thought would grant her a boon. She made the necessary offerings to the deity. And then she went.

She went, but she was still too late.

Ryomen Sukuna awakens in the body of a teenage boy and suddenly she is considering calling upon the full might of the deity and sacrificing herself in the process. But she won't be able to do it, not with full confidence that she'll be successful. The deity still hasn't favored her completely.

So what does she do?

She thinks it's lucky, extremely lucky, that the teenage boy is somehow alive and in the custody of Satoru Gojo, who acts as if it wasn't anything difficult, as if facing a reincarnation of the infamous Ryomen Sukuna wasn't anything to worry about.

Was this the true power of the Six Eyes and Limitless?

She thinks of what would have happened if the other god or entity had reawakened at the same place, at the same time. But what god? What entity? If she tried to summon the full might of the deity, what would happen then? Would she have been on the way to being fully possessed like her cousin was? Would she have lost all consciousness and willpower to even come back as herself? Or would she have been refused by that entity? After all, the gods speak in cryptic messages that neither the highest of onmyoji nor the most learned of devotees can ever decipher correctly. The gods can accept whoever they wish, reject whoever they wish.

"Because this god might be key in subduing Ryomen Sukuna, if not some other entity."

Her grandmother's statement alone can be interpreted in multiple ways, and the namelessness of both the god and the other entity left all too much to the imagination. What if it was her? What if it was something else? Ashiya Doman? Abe no Seimei? Or even those spirits from long ago, those she hadn't bothered to check ever since. Ibaraki doji? Maybe even the more fearsome Shuten doji? Or perhaps one of the Three Great Yokai. Or even all three! There's just too much at stake here!

Which brings her to the teenager kept under special lock and key by the Satoru Gojo, who grins at her like he already knows what she's going to say.

"What, no souvenirs for me?"

"No! You've lost all senpai privileges to exclusive gifts from the most sacred land of Hokkaido!"

Well, that's what she wants to say, but because she is a good kouhai…

"Just this."

She throws him a single keychain she's sure could be easily bought everywhere, but it's imbued with blessed energy. She's not that heartless. She doubts the deity would approve of that either.

"So what's gotten you back to Tokyo in such a rush?" He dangles the keychain between them. "You'd usually text, at least."

She decides to bite this before it can get any worse.

"Ryomen Sukuna."

His demeanor doesn't change, and she supposes it's because he's got this under control, doesn't he? Because he's the Satoru Gojo, he's got Limitless and the Six Eyes, and he's even got Ryomen Sukuna under literal wraps– Wait. Maybe this is what's supposed to happen. Maybe she wasn't supposed to be the one to subdue Ryomen Sukuna. Maybe she was just supposed to make sure it happened, like what some onmyoji did, like what some onmyoji still do. Make sure the gods' will is done.

"Hmm…"

She waits for Satoru to speak properly, regard her properly. She knows about Ryomen Sukuna, isn't that something he should be wary about? The onmyodo society knows about this!

"So?"

"So"?!

She's almost flabbergasted.

"This is what my grandmother warned you about, senpai."

Between the cousin she exorcised, her acquiring the favor of the deity, another deity supposedly awakening but turned out to be nothing, a cousin gone missing, and now this Ryomen Sukuna and whatever might come next… she thinks he knows all of it, if not the most general of details. Since he's the head of the Gojo Clan, he's effectively one of the most important people in jujutsu society, if not the most important. So it makes sense if her grandmother, grand matriarch of the onmyodo society, would have warned him, at least.

Of course, she doesn't deny she feels jealous of it. At best, she's second to him in her grandmother's list of priorities. Now if she'd gotten the full favor of the deity…

"That old hag warns me about even the changes in the weather."

She supposes the joke is that it's not the actual weather, but his fortune or something like that. Huh. But she needs him to take this, her, the teenage boy, Ryomen Sukuna, seriously.

She shakes her head.

"Senpai–"

"I found him first."

"This isn't a game!"

She stops herself from breaking into an outburst. She didn't rush all this way just to play or be made fun of!

She sighs.

"Senpai…"

He tuts, but then goes on to explain, "By jujutsu law, the vessel is to be executed…"

"I know!"

"…sentenced to death, eradicated, or erased, as your onmyodo texts state…"

"I know!"

"…but due to the nature of the vessel and of Ryomen Sukuna himself, the sentence has been postponed until the condition has been fulfilled…"

"Condition"? And the onmyoji weren't made aware of this?

"…that all twenty of Ryomen Sukuna's fingers are consumed by the vessel."

Wait– Twenty?! And none of these were under the onmyodo society's protection?

"Thus the vessel will be under Tokyo Jujutsu's custody."

And this was decided by who, senpai? The jujutsu higher-ups alone? Without any form of consultation with the onmyodo elders?

Or was she kept out of the loop too, as she has been ever since? Was she just made to go here and act like some messenger as punishment? But for what? She doubts it's because she hasn't gotten the deity's full approval. That would be beneath her grandmother and onmyodo society as a whole. Or was she made to come here because the onmyodo elders thought her capable enough of convincing the jujutsu higher-ups to transfer custody and sentencing of Ryomen Sukuna and his vessel to the onmyoji? No, she doubts they have that much faith in her, anyway.

Looking at Satoru's unchanging face, at the mocking expression she's sure he has for her, she's starting to understand why her grandmother detests jujutsu society. Right now, she's starting to detest both of them. If she had the deity's full approval, she might have…

No.

No, she won't.

She doubts the deity would even allow it.

But if the deity was under her control, following her will…

No, stop it.

She decides to ask him instead, "And the onmyodo elders agree with this decision?"

He shakes his head.

Shit.

"They're at least aware of it?"

He shakes his head again, and she thinks of the worst possible outcome.

"Senpai–"

But he cuts her off, as if he's predicted what she was about to say.

"Well, he's here now!"

Who? Ryomen Sukuna? The boy?

She thinks aloud, "In the body of a child…"

Briefly, she considers the difficulty of the exorcism.

Satoru jokes, "The old hag wouldn't murder an innocent kid, would she?"

That's not the point!

"No, but–"

Why are you being difficult? I was just going to–

"Then it's none of your business!"

"You dare snap at the high god of– You mortal fool! Parading the eyes of the gods!"

…is what she imagines the deity would say, before smiting him off the face of the Earth. Could the deity do that, anyway? Or maybe she should enact that against the vessel itself, ignoring the fact that it is a teenage boy who most likely had nothing to do with supernatural society in the first place. She wouldn't be murdering anybody, she would be doing him a mercy. At least, that's what the onmyodo texts say; every exorcism is an act of mercy, every execution is a pathway to the soul's true freedom. She would be helping the boy in the best way possible.

"If you found him first, then maybe you would have had your way of dealing with it."

She doesn't know what to say to him. Was he really taking this seriously? Or was he making fun of her? Mocking her?

This isn't the time, senpai–

Has he always been mocking her? Will he still mock her if he knows she's not just his kouhai anymore, but also an avatar–

That's right.

Because now that she is an avatar of a higher, divine, celestial being, she can…

"The boy is a vessel."

"Huh?"

Well, that surprised him. She feels proud. Not every day someone can claim that.

"I'm a…"

But should she admit it?

"I'm a vessel too."

When he doesn't respond, she thinks he's still processing it.

She continues, "To a… higher being."

"Oh."

Huh. Well, she won't tell him everything. He doesn't deserve–

And then he's embracing her.

The untouchable Satoru Gojo is embracing her.

"Congratulations, kouhai!"

She thinks this will be an extremely fond memory to look back on and probably boast about one day. She also thinks she can use this revelation to her advantage.

"Well…" she chuckles once he lets go, feeling confident. "I guess, with that condition, it'd be better if the kid learns from me?"

"Ah."

She continues, trying to persuade him, "At least make things easier, with control and will, and maybe even put up some wards to keep cursed spirits at bay, or…"

"Nope."

What!?

"We've got it under control, rather, the kid looks like he's going to get it under control."

But that's–

"Impossible, I know." He laughs. "But that's a secret even I won't tell you."

She doesn't understand.

"Anyway! It is nice seeing you again, kouhai! I'm sure everyone else missed you."

He turns her around…

"And it's so late! I'm sure you're tired from rushing back to Tokyo just to tell me the great news."

…and ushers her out.

"There's still lots to do, so I'll see you in the morning!"

She frowns internally, but smiles at him all the same.

There's no use, is there?

"Yeah," she admits defeat. "See you in the morning, senpai."

At the door, Satoru waves her goodbye and says one last thing.

"Be sure to greet Nanamin on your way back!"

Wh-what?

But Kento wasn't outside and he wasn't anywhere nearby, so why would Satoru even say that?

When she got home… Well, Satoru is half-right– err, somewhat right. Because Kento wasn't outside, he was inside. With Takuma. Even at this hour, they're still doing what she thinks is inventory. Or was it something else? She honestly feels bad, hogging their time like this with what's supposed to be her job completely unrelated to jujutsu society. But she only asked Takuma anyway, so why would Kento…

She parks at the back and uses the back entrance, not wanting to disturb or startle them as much if she used the front door.

She knocks gently on the door frame.

"Hi?"

Takuma exclaims, nearly dropping the flowers in his hand.

"Sensei!"

Well, so much for not startling.

"We were just finishing up!" Takuma smiles.

Huh.

"I remember telling you I was on my way back today…"

"It's no problem, right, senpai?"

Kento makes a single sound of… agreement? She doesn't know. Is he…

"Well…"

She looks around and sees everything is a lot more organized than when she'd left it. It looks a lot closer to how Tatsuya organized things, kept things clean and in order, and…

She smiles at him, them both. "I think I owe you more than just a part-timer's salary, Takuma. This is really great."

Takuma replied sheepishly, "Nanami-senpai did most of the planning, anyway."

He did?

"Which reminds me…"

One glance at his phone and–

"…I'll be back in the morning, sensei!"

–and Takuma's gone, quick to gather his things, laughing and smiling and waving at both of them as he walks out the door. Well. It was an abrupt exit and now everything's… She doesn't want to call it awkward. But then again, Kento hasn't really said a word to her now– No, he hasn't said a word to her ever since she'd arrived looking for Satoru because she was in a rush. She was in a hurry, and now she's…

"Hi, Kento," she starts, realizing this is the first time she's ever said his name in person.

No, she doesn't feel awkward at all.

"Hi," he replies, not fully looking at her.

No, he doesn't feel awkward at all.

"You aren't leaving yet?"

He shakes his head.

"I… don't want to leave this for tomorrow."

She can tell him she'll do it, but he's already counting and she doesn't think she can stop it. She doesn't think he should; he looks like he… likes it. Well, she smiles to herself, there's only one more basket to count. She might as well. She goes to stand beside him and begins counting the stems. These flowers are new, she thinks. She's never ordered these flowers before, even when–

"Takuma thought to order those."

Kento speaks softly, like he was waiting for the right time. But why? These flowers are… Only one person ever ordered these flowers, for her, and it was…

"We thought to order lotuses since they're in season– perennial, but what arrived was…"

She finishes for him, laughing, "Milkvetch."

The thought didn't really make sense to her, because while lotuses are perennial and pretty and a really nice, eye-catching, and unique addition to any bouquet, or just by itself, they weren't a usual order. They're also a little difficult to maintain. If there were regular orders for lotuses, then maybe… Unless…

No.

Could it?

When she looks at him, she notices he's stopped counting. He's stopped completely. And then suddenly, she's thinking… Suddenly, she's assuming. She doesn't want to assume. Not like this. Not right now. Now about him.

"It's an easy mistake," she clarifies. "'Renge' can meaneither 'lotus' or 'milkvetch', so I use 'genge' to refer to the latter."

"Oh."

He sounds… embarrassed.

"They're–" she hesitates. "They're my favorite flowers."

And he doesn't even… say anything. Has she embarrassed him this much? Or was this supposed to be for her? Did he– No, did they– But it was a mistake, wasn't it? These were supposed to be lotuses, after all…

"Oh."

Now he sounds… relieved. Is he relieved? She can't tell. She can't tell because she can't see, and if she does look at him, will he feel…

"I'm…" he says under his breath, "relieved to hear that."

What?

When she turns to him–accidentally–she sees that he's looking at her too. Has he been looking at her all this time? And why does he look…

"We– I thought to order these for you."

The confession– Should she call it a confession? An admittance? A revelation?

"Just to… thank you."

She doesn't know what it is, what this is, but she doesn't deny how it makes her feel. She doesn't deny the warmth that spreads through her, the feeling that cuts through her, the radiating thing that reverberates through her. It reminds her so much of… No, this is different. He is different. Kento is nothing like Tatsuya and it makes her feel, this makes it feel…

"Kento, I–"

…like betrayal.

No.

No, it doesn't!

She shakes her head, shakes herself awake, and looks away, asks him:

"Do you know what these flowers mean?"

"No, but I would… like to."

Why are you so kind, Kento? She tries not to think about what she looks like now. She's probably flustered and even more embarrassed than him, probably a mess with shaky hands and an unsteady voice. She probably looks like she's about to cry. After everything that happened, because of everything that is going to happen, she…

She whispers, "Your presence softens my pains."

Because it's true, isn't it? But he isn't saying anything, and she thinks he must have realized what this could mean and he's regretting it. Maybe he's going to apologize for misinterpreting– Maybe she's supposed to apologize for even thinking that he–

"You do."

He said it so plainly, clearly, so surely.

Now that, she thinks, is the real confession. That, she knows, is what makes her burst into tired, angry, heartbroken, and helpless tears. She loses count of the flowers before her, presses her fists against the counter, screws her eyes shut, and tries to shake her tears out of her. But why is she crying? Why is she so defeated? She should feel like she's won. She should be rejoicing. She should be telling him she likes him too, enough that she wants to tell him–

When she turns to the flowers he's been counting, it doesn't help that the meaning is convenient, perfect.

"Petunias," she muses aloud, still not looking at him. "Your presence soothes me."

It takes a full beat before she can even look at him. It takes another full beat before she can try to recognize the expression on his face. Tired. Relieved. Hesitant. Heartbroken. Hopeful. Why was something like this happening now? She says to fill the silence:

"You're extremely kind, Kento."

"I try to be."

She knows it's not his dry humor that bridges this gap between them, it's his honesty, but she laughs all the same.

"I– Well, there's a lot I want to tell you, everything that happened, there's so much that happened, and I want to… I want to breathe by myself for a few days, I…"

She knows what she's saying doesn't make full sense, but she's tired and she's in love with him–

He looks away and she can hear him frown, "I understand."

No!

She thinks her heart just fell from her throat to her feet and she doesn't know what to say or do– Should she apologize? But what would that sound like? What would he think? She's not rejecting him. No way! But because she's still in shock, she's still thinking of what to–

"I'll– I won't disturb you any longer."

Why is he leaving?

"Kento, wait!"

Why is she shouting and bolting and reaching for his hand?

"I–"

Why is she hesitating now?

"Yuriko."

That's the first time he's ever said her name in person, and it feels–

"I'm happy you're back."

She feels like there's more to what he wants to say, but his smile tells her everything. So she smiles back, no matter how lopsided she might look, and tells him:

"I'm happy to be back too."

When he looks down, she realizes she's grabbed his hand. She's grabbed his hand and held his fingers tightly in hers, and his thumb smooths over the knuckle of her thumb, and that small, small gesture is the most–

"Good night, Yuriko."

–and then she's letting go and he's walking out the door, and she's left to wave him goodbye wordlessly. She's left to think, to worry, to count all the flowers left and wonder what and how and why and when… She's left to imagine Tatsuya's ghost, telling her again:

"I want you to love."

When she bursts out the door, of course Kento's already out of sight. She feels stupid about wanting to pull him back in now, pull him back in and tell him how she really feels, maybe even–

"Your presence softens my pains."

She looks at her hand and thinks about how nice it would feel to have his fingers intertwined with hers.

A/N: So… I was thinking of dragging out the slowness even more because I realized I didn't know how to write confession scenes properly.