Alistair and Jory carried me along as we followed Morrigan through the Korcari Wilds. The motion made my head spin and feelings of nausea kept hitting me in waves as we moved. I hardly ever got ill, I hadn't had a single sick-day from school, and I was discovering that I was not a good patient. I was not strong, not like this. I wanted so badly for them to let me go, to lie down on the mossy ground and close my eyes, but they kept walking, half-carrying, half-dragging me over the rough terrain. Whatever path Morrigan was leading us down, it seemed to be invisible to all but her. There wasn't so much as a badger track to mark the way, but she strode with purpose down the unbeaten trail, and it was all we could do to keep sight of her. Somewhere between the ruins and Flemeth's hut, I was overcome by the taint and I lost consciousness completely, safe in the haven of strong arms.
I awoke what could only have been minutes later, to the familiar rattle of Flemeth's voice.
"Leave her with me, I will bring her back to your camp when she wakes." She was saying to the men. Grayson started to protest, but Alistair's voice drowned him out.
"I am very grateful to you for the safe return of the scrolls, but we will be taking her with us. We have to get her back to camp as soon as possible."
"She is in no condition to travel. I can assure you, young man, I have means of-"
"I think I can take a guess at what your means are, but no, thank you, she is my responsibility, and I won't-"
"Alist...uuggh." I groaned, forcing myself to sit upright. I was lying in the same bed I had woken up in only hours before. Alistair was kneeling by my side before my eyes were open.
"Lauren...you passed out. You're in-"
"I know, I know...I'm okay." I said, unconvincingly. I struggled to focus on his face. His eyes were full of concern and I felt a stab of guilt. I was supposed to be helping his cause, not hindering it. I smiled, weakly, and the effort of it caused my head to pound so hard that I feared I might pass out again, but I managed to cling to consciousness this time.
"You are not okay. We have to get you back to Duncan." He said, and there was a note of panic in his voice that didn't make me feel any better. I nodded, slowly, as Grayson knelt beside Alistair.
"No arguments here." I mumbled, acknowledging Grayson with a grimace as a sharp pain shot through my chest.
"Can you walk?" He asked, searching my face. I hadn't the energy to shrug so I just made a face and struggled to swing my legs over the edge of the bed. This simple movement sapped all of my remaining strength and I bent double, groaning pathetically. I held my head in my hands and felt my face sticky with cold sweat.
"I can carry her." Alistair said, quietly, to Grayson.
"Are you sure? You carried her here, I can..."
"No, I can manage."
"But if we encounter any more Darkspawn..."
"I'll keep her safe."
"Ugghhh." I groaned, trying to convey my displeasure at being discussed like some helpless damsel, realising even as I did so that at present, I really was helpless. I tried to lift my head from my hands, but hadn't even the energy to do that, so I stayed where I was as I sensed the men rising to their feet.
"She does not have long." The sound of Flemeth's voice told me she was a lot closer than I had first realised. "If you insist on taking her back with you, give her this."
"What is it?" Alistair demanded, suspiciously.
"Essence of Elfroot...among other things." I recognised this statement and managed to look up, wearily.
"It's okay." I croaked. "It'll help. She's...she's a friend." I met Flemeth's eye and, though I wasn't sure that was entirely true, I knew that she wanted me alive, for now at least. I lowered my head again and held out a hand for the vial that Flemeth was passing to Alistair. He knelt by my side and cupped my chin in his hand, raising the vial to my mouth. I opened my eyes again with great effort and looked at him, but his eyes were focused intently on my lips as he tilted the vial and I felt the liquid trickle into my mouth. I swallowed, roughly, and coughed, but instantly felt the same warm sensation as I had the last time Flemeth had dosed me with this mystery potion and nodded to signal I was okay. I felt a portion of my strength return to my tired limbs and I managed to sit upright, huffing a weary sigh. I locked eyes with Alistair and shook my head, miserably.
"I must say, Lauren Duval, I did not expect our second meeting would be quite as dramatic as our first." Flemeth smiled from the doorway. I nodded to her in gratitude and she turned her gaze to Alistair, her eyes hardening instantly. "Get her back to your camp, then, if that is what you must do, and do not tarry. There are some things even your ritual cannot bring her back from."
"What do you know about-" Alistair started, suspiciously, but she waved his question off with a cold look.
"My hospitality is at an end, for now." She barked, turning on her heel and leaving. Alistair looked at me, bewildered.
"You said she's your friend?" He asked. I shrugged a shoulder.
"Something like that." I offered. He rolled his eyes, clearly unimpressed with the whole situation, and took the opportunity to scoop me up in his arms. I snaked an arm awkwardly around his neck to steady myself, uncomfortable at being so close to a man I had just met, even if it was Alistair. I felt like I knew him, of course, but he had only just met me and I didn't want to act too familiar for fear that he might take it the wrong way. He didn't seem to feel the same way though and, despite my strictly platonic feelings towards him, I couldn't help but feel just a little insulted that he didn't appear to feel the slightest bit awkward about holding me so close, knowing what I did about his history, or lack thereof, with the opposite sex. He was just doing his job, keeping all of his recruits safe. I wasn't a woman to him, I was a young girl that he was responsible for. I caught myself feeling slightly disappointed, and then berated myself for this line of thinking. I was, to put it plainly, dying, and I was worried about feeling unattractive to a man that I, myself, wasn't even attracted to? Get a grip.
"Shall we?" He said to Grayson, and the three of us left the hut as Alistair carried me princess-style across the threshold.
"Milking it, are we?" Daveth remarked with a smirk as we joined them in the clearing outside the hut. I stuck my tongue out at him, too tired to think of any kind of witty rebuttal. A quick sweep of the area told me that Flemeth was nowhere to be seen, but Morrigan stood at the edge of the group, looking sullen. I guessed that, as she had in the game, Flemeth had ordered her to lead us back to Ostagar.
The men started moving after Morrigan, all but Alistair readying their weapons, more cautious now that two of their party were incapacitated. I huffed a sigh and rested my head gratefully on Alistair's armoured shoulder. He shifted me slightly in his arms and I wrinkled my nose.
"I'm not too heavy, am I?" I asked, embarrassed. He snorted.
"You have the body mass of a malnourished elf." He retorted. I frowned, offended, and he seemed to notice. "Not in a bad way, I just mean...no, you're not heavy."
"Good. I'm so sorry about this, Alistair. Really, I am. I promise, if I survive the Joining, I will definitely make it up to you."
"Oh? So you're going to carry me through Darkspawn-infested woods, are you?"
"Whatever it takes." I mumbled, sleepily. "I thought I'd just bake you a nice cake or something."
He chuckled.
"I didn't have you pegged for the baking sort." He confessed, and I grinned, closing my eyes.
"I'm a girl of many talents. Unfortunately, at present, walking upright is not one of them. But being infected with Darkspawn taint is something that almost never happens to me, I swear."
"I believe you. It's usually a once-in-a-lifetime experience. And you don't have to apologise, Lauren. It's not your fault." He said, kindly. I shrugged.
"I don't know...I mean, it kind of is my fault. If I hadn't been so careless, I would never have been infected with Darkspawn taint in the first place." I mused.
"And if you had never been infected with Darkspawn taint, the Grey Wardens wouldn't have gained such a promising new recruit." He replied, obviously trying to make me feel better. I snorted, looking away from him.
"Yes. Behold, my promise." I drawled, gesturing weakly down at my limp body in his arms. "I pity the next Darkspawn that crosses my path."
"Don't be so hard on yourself. I saw you back there, at the ruins. You have good form. You could use a little more training, but you're strong and you're quick. You'll be a great warrior one day."
I gaped at him, offended. I could use a little more training? I'll be a great warrior one day? I mean...yeah, sure, the fighting skills that I had weren't exactly my own. I couldn't take any credit for them. But I had felt like such a rock star. My reflexes were incredible, and my aim was deadly. I pouted, raising my chin a little, and throwing him a very dirty look. He rolled his eyes.
"What did I say now?" He sighed, in exasperation. I shook my head, averting my eyes.
"Nothing." I said, curtly.
"Really? Because if looks could kill..."
"If looks could kill, then perhaps my sub-par battle skills would not be an issue." I sniffed. He laughed at me, shaking his head.
"Way to snatch an insult from the jaws of a compliment." He muttered, still shaking his head in incredulity.
"Telling me I need more training was a compliment?"
"I said you had good form."
"So just a back-handed compliment, then."
"I wasn't trying to offend you." He said, apologetically, and I instantly felt bad.
"I'm sorry. I'm not usually this touchy. I think it might be the taint." It felt like a lame excuse, but it was true. The way I had exploded at Morrigan earlier, and now acting like a huffy child with Alistair, was very uncharacteristic for me, even at my moodiest time of the month.
"It is the taint." He assured me, and I raised an eyebrow.
"Really?" I asked, hopefully. He nodded.
"Yes. I've seen it before. One of the recruits at my Joining had been infected with the taint beforehand. In the few hours that I spent with him, he changed. He was pleasant and unassuming at first, but within a couple of hours of being infected, he became aggressive and angry. Don't worry about it." He said, kindly. I nodded, gratefully.
Neither of us said anything for a while, instead watching the other members of our party. Grayson took the lead, walking side-by-side with Morrigan, and the two of them looked deep in conversation. I frowned. I knew that Morrigan was a romance option for Cousland in the game, but I also knew what her intentions ultimately were. The curious sense of kinship I felt with Grayson made me prickle with unease as I saw Morrigan smirk flirtatiously in response to whatever he had just said.
"I don't like the way she's looking at him." I shared my thoughts with Alistair. He followed my gaze.
"She looks like she's being friendly enough." He said, reassuringly.
"Hmm. A little too friendly if you ask me." I muttered, darkly. He gave me a curious look, somewhere between confusion and what might have been disappointment.
"Oh. I see. Right." He replied, gruffly.
Grayson turned his head and saw us watching him, and he doubled back to join us.
"How are you feeling, Lauren?" He asked, placing a hand on my forehead. "You're very hot." He said, concerned.
"Thanks. I try. You're not bad, yourself." I joked, winking exaggeratedly.
"What?" He asked in confusion.
"Oh...nothing. Just...where I'm from, "hot" is another word for "attractive". It was a joke. A joke that might have been funnier if I didn't have to explain it." I explained, awkwardly.
"Oh, right. Well...ha ha." He offered. I waved a hand, dismissively.
"No, no, don't try to make me feel better now, you've ruined it." I said, straight-faced, and he grinned, a genuine grin this time, then looked at Alistair.
"How are you holding up, Alistair? Do you want me to take over? I can carry her the rest of the way if you-"
"No, thank you. I've got her." Alistair said, stiffly. I frowned slightly at his uncharacteristic coolness towards Grayson, but Grayson didn't seem to notice.
"Okay, then. I'll scout on ahead." He said, brightly, jogging away from us to catch up with Morrigan again.
"What was that?" I asked, giving him a thoroughly disapproving look. He caught my eye and the coolness was still there. I raised my eyebrows at him and he thawed, shaking his head.
"What was what?"
"That! Grayson was just being helpful and you totally snapped at him."
"No I didn't."
"Yes, you did."
"Well, would you like me to call him back over? Do you want him to carry you, instead? Maybe then, he'll talk to you instead of Morrigan." He said, moodily. I stared at him.
"What? No, that's not what I...what?" I demanded, perplexed. Suddenly, looking at his pouty expression, the shadow of hurt in his eyes, it dawned on me what was going on. So Alistair might not be attracted to me, but that didn't stop the fact that he thought I preferred Grayson over him from wounding his ego. "Alistair, I'm not jealous that he's talking to Morrigan. I'm concerned because she's a shifty apostate and she's acting all...predatorial. And you should be too. It's like watching a wolf salivate over a bunny rabbit."
"Oh, please. "You're so attractive, you're attractive too, tee he." I've never seen such flirting." He scoffed. I narrowed my eyes at the exaggerated Scottish -or I guess it would be Starkhaven to him- accent that he employed for his high-pitched impression of me.
"I don't sound like that. Also, I believe the term is "banter" and how dare you, sir? I may be a lot of things, but a flirt is not one of them. And besides, Grayson's like a brother to me."
"You literally just met him. Today."
Shit. That's right.
"Yyyyeesss, I mean he just seems brotherly." I said, lamely.
"How can a person seem brotherly? When you've just met them?"
"They just can, okay? I've just met you, and you seem...morony." I snapped.
"But not brotherly?" He asked, slowly, squinting at me. I shook my head.
"Dude. You're being weird. I'm cutting you off before you escalate." I said, placing a hand on his shoulder. "I'm dying, remember? And you're making fun of me for having a make-believe crush."
"You are not dying." He said, firmly.
"Yes, I am. I can feel this conversation sucking the life out of me. And something else about darkspawn taint coursing through my body, slowly killing me...or something, I forget." I said, flippantly.
"You're not dying." He repeated, quietly. Silence fell over us for a while and I looked around to see that the trees were thinning, and up ahead I could just make out the clearing in which I had met the soldiers. We were almost there.
"Alistair." I said, quietly, looking back at him. "The recruit...the one at your Joining, who'd been infected. After he became a Grey Warden, did he fully recover? I mean...the anger, the aggression...did it go away?"
Alistair looked at me, sadly.
"Of course he did. He was as good as new." He said, forcing a smile.
Alistair was a great warrior, but I imagined he'd make a terrible poker player. I didn't need to know him as well as I did to call his bluff. The recruit didn't recover at all. He was lying.