I didn't join Alistair for lunch, nor did I see Grayson or any of the others for most of the day. Instead, I spent the day alone for the first time in what felt like forever. I had forgotten how much I enjoyed my own company. I found the Templar who had given me Cullen's letter, or at least, I assumed it was the same one because he didn't seem surprised when I handed him the scroll and asked him to make sure Cullen got it when they returned. I spent some time with Larry and the hounds in the courtyard, before heading down to the village.
The townspeople were in good spirits, and everyone I passed smiled or waved or called out to me. I spent some time talking with Owen about armour maintenance and picked up some helpful tips as well as a new set of gauntlets and a kit containing oils and waxes, which he arranged to send up to the castle for me. I bumped into Marion and Gracie in the square, and joined them for a short time as they shopped at the pop-up market, before joining the crowd that had gathered around a couple of minstrels by the doors of the Chantry.
I watched for a while, studying the intricate fingerwork of the man playing the lute...or was it an oud? I didn't know. I just knew it was the closest thing to a guitar I'd seen in weeks and I watched them play with longing, feeling my own fingers twitch almost involuntarily as they tried to follow the notes in mid-air. Once they were done, I applauded along with everyone else and approached them, introducing myself and voicing my interest in the instrument. The man confirmed that it was, in fact, a lute, and we sat on the Chantry steps together for maybe an hour or more, talking music, and he showed me the basics before letting me play around with the lute myself.
With twelve strings instead of six, it was twice as difficult to play as the guitar, but when I closed my eyes and listened, I found I could work with the bottom six strings, and I played out a tentative verse of Good Riddance by Green Day, the first and easiest song I had learned to pick. It didn't sound anything like I had hoped, but there were a few familiar notes in there. I reckoned if I managed to get my hands on a lute of my own, I could teach myself to play passably well within a couple of months during my down-time at camp. Not that I would be anywhere to buy a lute any time soon, and I should probably be practising other things at camp, like how not to get stabbed in the face, but it was a nice thought.
I handed the instrument back to him and he offered to play for me if I would sing. I protested that I didn't know any Fereldan songs and he shrugged.
"Sing me a song that you do know, and I'll play along."
I racked my brains for an appropriate song, settling on I See Fire by Ed Sheeran from the Hobbit soundtrack, and I vocalised the guitar rhythm. It was a simple enough melody in that it was the same four chords for most of the song, with some fancy fingerwork, and I was impressed and envious in equal measure with the speed and ease with which he picked it up. I'd spent the better part of a weekend perfecting that song on the guitar. It didn't sound the same, the lute didn't give quite the same timbre as the guitar, and it still sounded a little folksy, but it was definitely passable.
After maybe half an hour of just humming along, I started to sing, relaxing into it as he nodded in encouragement. I hadn't sang since I left home, and I hadn't warmed my voice up so it fractured a little on the higher notes, but I was in my element. Nothing made me happier than music. The last time I'd sung with anyone, it had been with Emily, and I channeled the emotion that memory stirred within me into the words.
As I sang the last note, he finished playing with a fast-fingered flourish, and the small crowd that had gathered around us applauded. I reddened, laughing in embarrassment, so caught up in the song that I didn't realise we'd had an audience, and he shook my hand, complimenting my singing voice. I knew I could sing, but I had heard the woman he had played with earlier and she was on another level, so I couldn't help but feel he was being more kind than sincere, but I didn't mind too much. It had been a lovely moment. Surreal, but lovely.
I thanked the lute player, who had introduced himself as Henk but I couldn't be sure if it was his real name or a nickname - musicians - and headed towards the lake, spending the next couple of hours enjoying the tranquility and the beauty of my surroundings.
In the calm and the quiet, I felt like I was able to come to a full stop for the first time since I had arrived in Ferelden and as I looked out onto the water, I took the chance to reflect on things. I thought a lot about Alistair - in fact he was just about the only thing I could think of, and in the end I decided just to take things one day at a time. Did I think we were going to live happily ever after? Of course not. But I couldn't ignore how he made me feel. The kiss this morning had changed things, and I was no longer willing to think too hard about the ramifications of what a romance between us might be. Nothing in this world was perfect. But I felt happy when I was with him. With everything we had been through, and everything we were still to face, I didn't have the strength to turn my back on this rare bright spot in a dark and blighted world.
By the time I returned to the castle a few hours later, my face almost hurt from smiling.
Almost as soon as I stepped over the threshold and into the entrance hall, I bumped, almost literally, into Leliana and Lady Isolde, who were chattering away in Orlesian.
"Good afternoon. We were wondering where you'd disappeared to. Have you eaten?" Leliana asked, brightly. My eyes flickered to Isolde's face, briefly suspicious that she'd been spilling secrets, but her cold expression of indifference didn't waiver. I returned Leliana's smile and nodded.
"Yes, I have. I was just spending some time in the village. Sat by the lake for a while. Enjoying the peace, for once."
"Well, you're just in time. We're joining Lady Isolde and Bann Teagan for supper and I simply cannot allow you to be seen like that." She said, in such a pleasant tone that it almost didn't come across as an insult. Almost. "Come with me. Lady Isolde has been kind enough to send her personal handmaidens to help us get ready. They're already waiting for us."
"Oh. Thank you, my Lady." I said, with a stiff smile, which was not returned. I ignored the slight, allowing Leliana to take me by the hand and lead me through another door, leaving Isolde with a string of Orlesian pleasantries. "Ice cold." I muttered to Leliana when we were out of earshot. "No wonder the woman left Orlais, she clearly would not have scored any points playing The Grand Game. Subtle as a sledgehammer. I kind of hate her." I confessed, as she led me down a long, carpeted corridor.
"Such an awful woman." Leliana agreed, her tone switching instantly from high and bubbly to low and damning.
"It sounded like you two were getting along just fine." I replied, raising an eyebrow.
"Yes, I know. And now we have a whole afternoon of being pampered by expensive handmaidens."
"Now that's how you play the Game!" I grinned, appreciatively, and saw her suppress a smile. "Are Wynne and Morrigan joining us?"
"Wynne isn't feeling very well, she said she's going to lie down for a little while. Morrigan just walked away from me when I asked." She explained. Neither response surprised me in the slightest.
She led me into a large, ornately decorated washroom. The style here was distinctly different from anything I'd seen so far in Ferelden, and I realised that Isolde must have had most of the furnishings imported from Orlais. We were immediately greeted by six young women, also of Orlesian origin, who introduced themselves in such an unnatural fashion I was sure they must have rehearsed it, each of them saying their names in turn with identical curtsies.
We were immediately stripped and guided into separate large, luxurious bathtubs, about two feet apart. I sank into the water with a groan of pleasure, closing my eyes as two of the handmaidens started to scrub my skin as another washed my hair. They were thorough but gentle, and after they had finished they left the room, allowing us to soak on our own for a little while.
Leliana chatted pleasantly about the events of the last couple of weeks, her home in Orlais, the arrival of Wynne and Zevran. We laughed together about things our companions had said and did, and after a while I felt like I was just hanging out with a girlfriend, without a care in the world. She kept trying to steer the conversation towards Alistair, but I gently brushed her off.
I had made peace with my budding feelings towards him, but I wasn't ready for everyone to know about us just yet. It was too new, and too mercurial, and as much as I hated secrets, this was one that I wanted to keep for myself.
When the water was almost cold, the handmaidens filed back into the room. Within an hour, by my reckoning, both Leliana and I looked like different people. My hair was pinned up, with a few curls left loose to frame my face, which had been oiled, massaged, buffed and powdered. The make up they used wasn't exactly Mac or Benefit, but looking at myself in the mirror I had to admit they had done a good job with what they had. I wore an elegant midnight-blue gown, with eyeshadow to match, and Leliana wore an almost identical one in forest-green, which complimented her red hair beautifully.
One of the handmaidens handed me the amulet and letter that I had forgotten were still in the pocket of the dress I'd worn earlier. I thanked her and slipped the amulet around my neck for safekeeping. The chain was long enough that I was able to conceal the amulet itself in my cleavage which, thanks to the corset, was more ample than usual, and I folded the parchment, tucking it into my corset as well. I could barely breathe, it was so tight. I figured the chances of the letter falling out were slim to none. I surveyed myself in the mirror, quietly enjoying the way the corset gave me curves I had never had before, uncomfortable though it was.
"Are these...appropriate?" I asked, raising a skeptical eyebrow at the plunging neckline.
"Of course." Leliana replied, dismissively, ignoring the dress and admiring the shoes.
"Well, we won't be fighting darkspawn in these." I remarked. "Although, come to think of it, I was wearing heels when I killed my first three."
"Oh, forget about darkspawn for a little while." Leliana instructed, taking my hands in hers. "It will be long time before we have another night like this. Let's just enjoy ourselves. You may be a Grey Warden, but you're a woman too."
At her behest, I gave her a twirl, and she gasped and clapped her hands together, laughing musically.
"You look divine. I know a certain someone who won't be able to keep his eyes off you tonight." She said, in a mischievous, sing-song voice. "Not that that will be anything new." She added, as an afterthought.
"If we didn't look so pretty right now, I would fight you for making that comment." I said, with no real annoyance. I grinned, turning back to admire our reflections. "You look amazing. You're so tall. I feel like a dwarf next to you."
"No…" She said, kindly, wrapping an arm around my shoulder. "Maybe more like an elf." I batted her arm away, playfully, and she laughed. We thanked the handmaidens profusely for all of their hard work, and I made a mental note to tip them before we left, and we made our way to the dining hall to meet the others.
AN: The last chapter was pretty short, and so is this one, so I figured I would do the right thing and upload both today, as a super special apology for being absent for such a long time. Thank you to Kira Tamarion, who is honestly the most efficient, insightful and lovely beta reader anyone could ever ask for.
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