AN: Listen. I know it's been a while but I have been very busy and have also written about 7? versions of this chapter, all wildly different, so I had to try to figure out what I wanted to do and where I wanted to go and whatnot. The real issue is that I've decided to get a second degree (probably because I secretly hate myself) and somehow forgot how much of a time-suck university really is. But I'm not going to abandon this story any time soon, it may just...take a wee while. You know. You know how it is. Happy new year, you son of a gun.

The morning passed without incident, but even as Alistair and I laughed and joked while repairing the roof, I couldn't fight off the feeling that we were being watched. I had slipped a dagger into my boot before leaving my room, determined that I would not be caught unarmed in this town - or ever again, really. The only time I'd been without a weapon in Ferelden, I'd been kidnapped and tortured for a week. There are some lessons you only have to learn once.

Light snowfall made our work harder, and by the time we were done my fingers were numb and painful, but my heart felt surprisingly light as we made our way back into the Inn to join the others. Despite the looming threat that came as part and parcel of being in Haven, there was something so satisfying about doing some good, honest work in freezing conditions and then being greeted by a roaring fire and a hot meal.

Grayson and Morrigan were already waiting for us at the same table we had eaten at the night before, and sitting there with my friends, draining bowls of vegetable soup and talking about the mundane tasks we'd carried out for Henrietta, I felt almost normal. I could almost forget that we were Grey Wardens, and that every moment we spent here we were in danger. I might have, if the men at the table opposite us didn't keep shooting us furtive glances and whispering conspiratorially. I recognised one of them as being one of the men who had come to the inn the night before, and I was sure it was no coincidence that he was here this morning, but he seemed to be observing us more than anything else. That was fine, I decided. We would be the most ordinary people in the world. Let him report back how we had done some chores and ate some soup.

Henrietta had offered to take us to meet with Father Eirik, but we had received word that he was still recovering from his attack the night before and wasn't well enough to receive visitors. Morrigan glowered at me upon hearing this and I shrugged, dismissively. I didn't regret my actions, as rash and foolhardy as they may have been. The end justified the means. If it meant our trip was to be extended by a day, that seemed like a small price to pay for a girl's life.

As it was, we had a whole day of nothing ahead of us, and Morrigan wasted no time in disappearing up to the room that we shared, no doubt to pore over the grimoire some more. Grayson watched her leave, looking decidedly crestfallen. Alistair and I exchanged a brief glance, trying not to make it too obvious that we had noticed his face fall. I remembered the promise I had made Grayson before we left Redcliffe, and silently resolved to speak to Morrigan about him that day. I hated seeing my friend so torn up. Even if all she said was that she wasn't interested in him, at the very least he might be able to start moving on.

"So. What should we do with our day?" Alistair asked, and I looked over to see that his question was directed at Grayson, not me. My heart swelled with love for him and I saw Grayson's face morph into a small, knowing smile. He looked from Alistair to me and shook his head, with a low chuckle.

"You don't have to babysit me, you know." He said, quietly.

"What do you mean?" Alistair asked, innocently. "You're my friend. I can't very well spend all of my time with Lauren. She always wants to talk about girly things. There are only so many conversations a man can have about shoes. Sometimes we just need some manly...man...time."

I nodded in agreement, working very hard to keep my face serious.

"It's true. I have very little else in my conversational arsenal than shoes and make up. And besides, I can't keep up with all the manly things Alistair wants to talk about, like fighting and...dirt. Ugh. Distasteful. I cringe at the thought. Take him off my hands for the day?"

I gave Alistair a swift kiss and rose to my feet, making my way to the stairs before Grayson could object. Alistair was pure sunshine energy. It would be impossible for him to mope with Alistair around.

I found Morrigan splayed out on her bed, true to form, with her nose buried in the grimoire.

"Hey." I said, brightly, closing the bedroom door behind me. She acknowledged me with a nod, and went back to her book. I sat on the bed beside her and she shifted slightly, throwing me a look of annoyance. I peered over her shoulder, curiously, but the pages were indecipherable.

"Can I help you with something?" She asked, irritably.

"I thought we could hang out." I said, settling into a more comfortable position indicating that I wasn't going anywhere. "Spend some quality time together."

She looked suspicious and reluctant, all at once.

"If this is because I said you were a bad friend…"

"It is. Partly that. And partly because I want to." I insisted. "We hardly ever get the chance to just spend time together unless we're killing something. I'd like to remedy that."

She sighed heavily, and closed the grimoire, tucking it down the side of the bed and drawing herself up into a sitting position.

"Find anything interesting in that thing yet?" I asked, nodding towards the grimoire.

"Perhaps." She said, guardedly. I nodded, prompting her to continue. "I doubt it is anything that you would understand, as you are not a mage."

"Well, couldn't you simplify it in a way that we non-mages would understand?" I suggested, helpfully.

"No." She said, shortly.

"Oh. Okay, then." I chewed my lip, thoughtfully. "Quite cold in here, isn't it?"

"Quite." She agreed, with the air of someone who was looking for an exit.

Small talk with Morrigan was just as difficult as I knew it would be. She was giving me nothing. My hand rose automatically to fiddle with the pendant around my neck, and she narrowed her eyes.

"What is that?" She asked, frowning.

"Oh." I glanced down at it. "My necklace. Do you like it?"

"It's ghastly."

"Right." I said, nodding. Not because I agreed, just because it was the exact response I should have expected from Morrigan. I slipped the chain over my head and held it out to her. "You might find it interesting, though."

She took it from me, reluctantly, but the moment her fingers made contact with the pendant her expression changed to one of curiosity. She turned it over in her hands, thoughtfully.

"This has power. " She said, with a note of surprise. She closed her eyes, holding the pendant in the palm of one hand and muttering in a language I couldn't understand.

"I told you it was interesting." I grinned as she handed it back to me. I recounted what had happened the night before, with the wolves, and she nodded.

"I have heard of such magic, but I have never seen it before. It's ancient, elven magic, from the time of Elvhenan. I am no expert on such things. Flemeth..."

"Knows a lot more than she passed on to you?"

Her eyes flashed indignantly, before she sighed and nodded, reluctantly.

"Flemeth is one of the great mysteries of this world." She said, quietly. "I have lived with her all my life, and yet I know her only as well as she wishes me to."

"That must be hard." I said, sympathetically. She offered a one-shouldered shrug in response.

"Not particularly." She sniffed, turning her attention back to the pendant. "How did you come to be in possession of such a trinket?"

"It was a gift, actually. From Alistair." I said, smiling down at it. She snorted, derisively, at the mention of his name and I shot her an exasperated look. "I know you two don't exactly get along, but I do love him, you know. And you're my friend. It would be good if you could both make a little bit more of an effort with each other."

"I do not see how the two things are connected." She said.

"Well, it would be nice for me if you two got along a bit better. Or at all." I said.

"Do you truly love him?" She asked, cocking her head to the side.

"I do." I said, with a small smile.

"Why?"

"What?"

"Why do you love him?" She asked, a hint of challenge in her beautiful eyes. "What is it about him that you love?"

I thought about it for a moment, before shrugging.

"Everything." I replied, honestly. "I love his kindness, his wit, his intelligence. I love the way he makes me feel when I'm around him. I love how caring and selfless he is. I love that when we talk, I feel like he's really listening to me, instead of just waiting for his chance to speak. He's treated me like an equal, right from the start, before I'd given him any reason to. Honestly, I just love everything about him."

"Isn't he…?" She started, before waving her hand dismissively, apparently thinking better of it.

"No, what were you going to say?" I asked, frowning.

"Well...isn't he a little...dull?" She said, and I bristled defensively, but something in her eyes told me that she wasn't trying to be mean for meanness sake. She seemed to sense my anger, because she continued. "Perhaps dull is not the correct word. Bland? Not that blandness is necessarily a bad thing...for some people. But for you...I only mean that, well...you are not bland. Quite the opposite, in truth. There is so much to know about you. Alistair is just...well, he's a very trivial man, isn't he?"

"Trivial?" I asked, frowning. "I mean...I guess I can see why you would think that, if that's all he's ever shown you. But there's a lot more to him than is immediately apparent. Honestly, you just think I'm interesting because I'm from another world. Where I'm from, I'm not a particularly exciting person. I was heading towards a pretty boring life, actually, before I came here."

"But you are not boring." She insisted, impatiently.

"Maybe. But...neither is Alistair. Not to me." I said, though I was less defensive than I might have been in the face of someone absolutely roasting my boyfriend. This was Morrigan, after all. Her low opinion of Alistair didn't exactly come as a surprise. And he hadn't exactly given her much reason to like him. "Anyway. Enough about me and Alistair. I'd rather talk about you and Grayson." I said, quirking my eyebrows deviously.

"There is nothing to talk about." She said, stiffly.

"No?"

"No." She replied, with an air of finality.

"So...you haven't been avoiding him, then?" I asked, casually.

"Not especially, no."

"Cool. Cool, cool, cool." I blew my cheeks out, gazing around the room searchingly. I could feel her gaze boring into me and I promptly ignored her, until the silence grew too much for her.

"I just…" She started, before trailing off, shaking her head.

"Yes?" I prompted, grinning.

"Nothing."

"So everything's fine between you two then?"

"Yes. Everything is fine." She replied, shortly. When I didn't respond, she sighed. "'Tis fine. It is all absolutely fine. Everything is fine."

"Hmm. Sounds like everything's fine."

"It is." She insisted. I stifled a laugh, sensing that she wouldn't appreciate that much, but let the silence linger again. "If you must know, I just...find it difficult to be around him."

"Oh?"

"Why must we talk of such things?" She asked, frowning in annoyance.

"Because I'm your friend, and because you asked me about my love life first, and because I couldn't help but notice that you've been giving Grayson the silent treatment for weeks now when you were getting along so well before, and he's sad and you're distant and it gives me a stomach ache." I said, quickly.

She opened her mouth to reply, before cutting herself off, averting her eyes in thought. I waited patiently for her to gather her thoughts and she looked up at me, with something new in her eyes that I hadn't seen before. She looked sad and unsure of herself. It was such a different mix of emotions than anything I had seen from her before that I almost convinced myself I was imagining it before she spoke.

"I do not mean for him to be in pain. 'Tis not that I dislike him. I...like him well enough. If perhaps a little too well." She admitted, watching my face closely for my reaction, almost as if she was waiting for me to start laughing at her. I frowned in concern.

"So...you do like him." I said, slowly. "What are you afraid of?"

"I am not afraid, I…" She shook her head, frowning in frustration, but I sensed that she was more frustrated with herself than she was with me. "I have been avoiding the warden because I do not wish to offer him false hope of a future that simply cannot be."

"Oh? You see the future too, do you?" I asked, innocently.

"I do not. But you are not the only one among us with a secret, Lauren Duval." She said, ominously.

"I know." I said, casually, studying my nails. "I know your secret too." She froze in shock and I brought my eyes up to meet hers. "I know everyone's secrets, Morrigan. I told you once before, on the day I arrived in Thedas, that I wouldn't upset the balance of this world by running my mouth about things that are better left unsaid. I've stuck to that...for the most part, anyway. And I will keep your secret until it's time for you to reveal it. But you don't know what comes next, not for certain."

"Which is exactly why I cannot allow Grayson to entertain foolish notions of...of love. Not with me, not in this lifetime." She insisted, though the look on her face belied the certainty in her voice.

I sighed, gazing at the deep sadness swimming in her golden eyes. She might have been a witch of the wilds, but she was still just a girl, in love with a boy, telling herself all of the reasons it wouldn't work. I recognised something of myself in that, and I thought I understood why she had seemed so angry when Alistair and I had first revealed the truth of our relationship to the group.

We had contemplated all of the reasons we shouldn't love each other, and we had chosen to love each other anyway. There was a part of her, I would wager a large part, that wanted to do the same.

"Morrigan...you can keep telling yourself all of the reasons you and Grayson shouldn't be together. I'm quite sure nothing I say will change your mind. But he at least deserves to know that there's no chance." She frowned, averting her eyes from me. "Unless there is a chance."

"What is the point?" She asked, hopelessly. "'Tis doomed before it even begins."

"Maybe. I don't know if that's true." I said, honestly. "But...neither do you. Nobody does. Nobody who falls in love knows for certain that it's going to last forever. But Morrigan, you do not get an unlimited number of chances in this life to be happy. Sometimes, you have to be brave, and you have to put everything that you are on the line. Because if you find the one person that can make you happy being exactly who you are, and you let that person go without a fight, you will live with that regret for the rest of your life. And Flemeth has done enough damage to you without you doing more damage to yourself, so please. For me. For Grayson. But mostly, for yourself. Do something about it, while the choice is still yours to make. Be brave."

She looked away from me, gasping quietly, and I could tell she was fighting tears. I clasped her shoulder, gently, half-expecting her to shrug me off but she didn't.

"Or don't." I said, softly. "I'm sorry, I know that might not have been what you wanted to hear. But I had to say it. Because I am your friend, and I do care about you. And I care about Grayson. I just want you both to be happy."

She closed her eyes, muttering under her breath, and when she opened them again the sadness was gone, replaced by a look of steely anger.

"Let us never speak of this again." She said, rising to her feet and walking to the door. Before leaving, she spun around to face me. She looked like she wanted to say something more, but thought better of it, rolling her eyes and slamming the door closed behind her.

I threw myself back onto the pillows, heaving a weary sigh.

"Well, that went well. Stupid." I cursed myself, slapping my forehead. What was I thinking? That I would give her a nice speech that boiled down to 'you go, girlfriend' and then the music would swell and she would run right into Grayson's arms?

I lay there for a few minutes, not really thinking about anything. Not really. I let my mind go blank and listened to the world spin. I hummed to myself, only snapping out of my stupor when I recognised that the tune I was humming as the jingle from a car insurance radio ad that used to run when I was a kid. I frowned at myself and sat up, heaving another sigh and swinging my legs over the side of the bed.

Before I could stand, the door opened again and I looked up, expecting Morrigan, but finding Alistair. His face was red and his brow was furrowed. I took in the troubled look on his face and the fact that he was alone and thought I knew what had happened.

"Let me guess. You tried to give Grayson a motivational speech and he stormed away from you."

He strode across the room and collapsed on the bed beside me.

"I thought it was going so well!" He groaned. "I really think I was starting to get through to him. But then…" He threw his arms up, hopelessly.

"I know. I just went through the same thing with Morrigan." I sighed, resting my head on his shoulder. "You know...maybe just because you and I have found love against all the odds, it doesn't qualify us to go around preaching about how great love is and how you just have to fight for it."

"But it is great. And you do have to fight for it. And it's worth fighting for."

I frowned, thoughtfully.

"Maybe that's not always true. Not always. Sometimes love is...just fucking awful. It's painful. It makes you selfish. Makes you doubt yourself. Makes you insecure. Makes you needy. Makes you forget who you are. Makes you boring, makes you smug. Makes you-"

"Uh...should I be worried?" He interrupted, peering down at me with a playful smile. I returned his smile, warmly, and reached up to brush his cheek.

"No. I'm just saying that love can be brutal. I'm just glad I have you to go through it with."

"Loving you has never been hard." He said, softly. "It's as easy as breathing."

I grinned at him, gratefully, and responded with a playful rendition of Minnie Riperton's Lovin' You. He closed his eyes and smiled, softly, as I sang.

"Lovin' you is easy 'cause you're beautiful. Makin' love with you is all I wanna do. Lovin' you is more than just a dream come true, and everything that I do is out of lovin' you.

"La la la la la, la la la la la, la la la la la la la la la la. Do do do do doo…" I leaned slightly closer to him and screeched the whistle note unpleasantly in his ear, eliciting a bark of surprised laughter from him.

"Still stand by that sentiment, Chief?" I grinned impishly.

"What?!" He yelled. "I'm sorry, I can't hear you. I think I've gone deaf in this ear!"

I giggled at the textbook dad joke, and he grinned in response, pulling me in for a kiss.

As our kiss started to deepen, he pulled away, quirking an eyebrow at me, suggestively.

"Well, we have the place to ourselves." I said, in response to his silent question. "It would be rude not to."

"I'll lock the door." He said, jumping eagerly to his feet to do just that. When the lock slid into place he turned to face me. "Cause makin' love with you is all I wanna do." He crooned, dancing towards me. I hid my face in my hands, shaking my head at his awful white guy dance-moves, before recovering enough to provide him with a backing track.

"La la la la la, la la la la la, la la la la la la la la la la. Do do do do doo…" I opened my mouth wide and took an exaggerated breath in, preparing to shriek again, but he dove on top of me at that moment and it became a shriek of laughter, swiftly silenced by his mouth over mine. Moments later, breathless, he pulled back, propping himself up on one elbow to look down at me. He placed a hand on either side of my face, brushing my hair back and kissing me tenderly, with a sigh of longing.

"Tell me that this isn't worth fighting for." He murmured, gazing into my eyes. "Tell me this isn't worth everything."

And I knew that I couldn't. In that moment, I knew that there was nothing I wouldn't do to hold onto what we had. And as he started to kiss me again I knew, without a doubt, that I had to tell him all of the things that I thought I could never tell anyone. I wanted him to know all of me, consequences be damned. Because I knew that no matter what, he would fight for me, and he had to know exactly what he was fighting for.

Our love-making was painfully sweet and tender, and an immeasurable time later, he collapsed on top of me, panting and spent, rolling over and pulling me into his chest. Before I could lose my nerve, before I had even caught my breath, I screwed my eyes shut and whispered the words.

"Alistair...I have to tell you something."

AN: Very sorry if Lovin you is now stuck in your head forever but it might make a nice change from Toss a Coin to Your Witcher, which is all I have been singing for like two weeks now. Please review, sub, all that stuff I'm supposed to ask you, and I'll try my level best to get the next chapter uploaded as soon as the Gods allow.