Leliana was tired but excited. The detour to Honnleath had been more eventful than predicted, and she was looking forward to rejoining the others. Well, most of the others. Morrigan wasn't her favourite person, but all three of the Wardens had become more important to her than she ever would have guessed that they might.

She had missed Grayson's warmth, Alistair's playfulness and Lauren's wit. She had grown up hearing tales of the Grey Wardens of old, but her friends were nothing like she had envisioned they would be. Everything she had heard of the Wardens was rooted in darkness and tragedy, in brave sacrifices that saved the world. When she thought of her friends, she thought of laughter around the campfire, of quiet words of comfort in warm rooms.

She couldn't deny that they each carried a certain sadness with them. None of them had made it through their lives unscathed, even before they had joined the order, and all trauma leaves a scar. They had each suffered their own tragic losses, and they had each found a way to turn their pain into strength.

Sten had not been a particularly loquacious travelling companion. He never was, but that hadn't mattered when they'd had a full company. There were so many voices jostling to be heard, the Qunari's stoicism was less noticeable.

The golem, Shale, had it's charms. It insisted on referring to them all as "it", and had a rather amusing aversion to birds that bordered on concerning, but it grew bored of conversation very quickly.

It wasn't that she hadn't enjoyed Zevran's company while they'd been away. He really wasn't as intolerable as he pretended to be, and she had found herself warming to him the more she was getting to know him. Still, her heart sang when the small village of Haven came into view.

"Finally." Zevran groaned, stretching in his saddle, before urging his horse into a canter. Larry raced forwards with him, barking excitedly, and Leliana and Sten matched his pace, with the golem thundering along behind them.

The moment they crossed through the village gates, however, they slowed to a stop, exchanging wary glances. Bodies littered the road in front of them.

"Do you think Loghain's men tracked them, somehow?" Leliana asked, as they dismounted.

"Perhaps. Although, these do not look like Loghain's men." Zevran replied, bending down to inspect one of the bodies, rifling through the man's pockets as if on instinct.

Once a crow, always a crow. Leliana thought, looking around for any signs of life. Everything was quiet. Eerily so.

"These men have not been dead for long." Zevran muttered, exchanging grim looks with his companions. Leliana cast her eyes over the bodies, noting their positions, the accuracy of the arrows. All but one of the shots were clean, between the eyes, and she could tell from the way that the bodies fell that they had been running towards the archer when they were killed.

"This is Lauren's work." She observed, aloud. "They must be close by."

Larry barked and raced past them, to the Chantry, and Sten growled, gesturing at the snow-covered ground.

"Footprints, leading that way. Follow the hound." He said, drawing his sword.

They raced up the hill to find the doors of the Chantry already open. Leliana sighed in relief when she saw Grayson, but her smile faded quickly.

The look on his face was one she had never seen before, and she couldn't quite decipher what it meant. He strode forward to meet them as they approached, and a noise from behind him caught her attention. She followed the sound, and saw Alistair sitting on the floor, holding Lauren in his lap, and Larry was smothering his mistress with slobbery mabari kisses.

Leliana couldn't help but smile at their reunion. The hound had missed her so. He was very sweet, for a war-hound.

She started to call out to them, when she realised that something in the picture just wasn't quite right. Lauren wasn't reacting to her hound's enthusiastic greeting. She couldn't see her face, because Larry stood in the way, but she noticed that the position of her body was all wrong. Alistair held her to his chest, but her legs were bent at strange angles and her arms were limp. Leliana's eyes moved from Lauren's form to Alistair's tear-streaked face, and she realised the noise she heard was gentle sobbing.

"Oh, no." Zevran said, his voice laced with anguish. Leliana shook her head in denial.

"No." She said, starting towards them, but Grayson caught her by the shoulders and shook his head. "Lauren! We have to help her!"

"Leliana…"

"I have health poultices, in my pack." The bard said, pulling away from the warden's strong hands. "My horse is just outside, I can-"

"Leliana." Grayson repeated, his face drawn and his voice hoarse.

"I'll go and get-"

"She's dead, Leliana!" The warden yelled, grabbing her again, roughly. He released his grip on her as suddenly as if he'd been burned and stumbled backwards, looking shocked at the words that had come out of his mouth, as if he was hearing them for the first time. "She's dead. We can't help her."

"She's not...she can't be…" She couldn't say the word. She had known, of course. From the moment she had seen Alistair's face, she had known. Only one thing in the world could have caused him to look so completely broken.

"No." Sten said, in a far-off voice, staring at the girl's body in disbelief. "How did this happen? Who here could have bested the warden?"

"It was me." Alistair wailed. He hadn't taken his eyes from his lover's face. "I did it. I killed her."

"What?" Leliana gasped, looking to Grayson for an explanation.

"It was an accident." Grayson replied, his voice trembling. "She was bleeding. The rag that we used on her wound was soaked in poison."

"The rag that I used." Alistair choked, lowering his forehead to hers and closing his eyes. "You told me I worried too much. You hated when I fussed over you. If I had just listened to you, if I had treated you like any other Grey Warden, this never would have happened. My love...forgive me. Maker, forgive me. What have I done?"

Leliana felt her legs grow weak, and she let grief carry her to her knees.

"He couldn't have known." Grayson said, his eyes shining with unshed tears. "None of us knew. We tried to find an antidote but...she never had a chance."

He bowed his head, and Leliana could see him struggling to maintain his composure.

"But we can't stay here. We have to go. We have to reach the urn." He said, miserably.

"Alistair will not leave." Zevran said, quietly. "He will not leave her here. You know this, I assume?"

"I know. And I can't leave him here while we search for it. Not like this." Grayson replied, looking at once both very young and very old. "But I can't ask him to...I don't want to leave her here, either. But she wouldn't have wanted us to...to…"

"She would have wanted us to keep going." Sten said. "And we must. We do not honour her sacrifice by allowing grief to keep us from our goal."

Morrigan emerged from a side-room, followed by a man that Leliana didn't recognise. The witch's face was pale and forlorn as she joined them.

"I have healed the worst of his injuries." She said to Grayson, in a hollow voice.

"This is Brother Genitivi." Grayson explained, numbly. Leliana didn't care. Finding one lost man in the whole of Thedas had felt like an impossible task when they had started out on this journey. Now, he was standing before them, and she just wanted to scream.

"Thank you, my lady." Genitivi said to Morrigan, with a gracious nod. "I am very sorry for the loss of your friend. So young...a tragic waste."

"We never should have come here." Sten growled. "Her life was worth more than the lives of two frail old men. Her life was worth more than the lives of a hundred men."

Grayson bowed his head, but didn't reply, and Leliana knew that none of them disagreed with Sten's statement.

Morrigan left Grayson's side and, to Leliana's surprise, strode towards Alistair, approaching him tentatively. She knelt beside him and spoke in his ear, so softly that none of them could hear what she had said to him. Alistair sobbed in response, shaking his head, still staring at Lauren's face. Larry was lying by her side now, nudging her hand, whining pitifully when she didn't respond.

"You must." Morrigan said, in a gentler voice than Leliana had never heard her use, let alone with Alistair. "For her."

"I can't." He whispered. "I can't leave her."

"Then we will take her with us." Sten said, striding past Grayson and kneeling beside Morrigan, clapping a hand on the Templar's shoulder. "I will carry her. She was basalit-an, and she deserves whatever rites are given to your heroes. Her corpse should not be left to rot in this strange place."

Leliana winced in pain at his language, and Alistair sobbed harder, clutching her body tighter to his chest.

"Come, Warden. Give her to me." Sten said, inching towards Alistair and gathering the body in his arms. Alistair held on, and the Qunari lifted her away from him, gently but firmly. Morrigan rose to her feet along with him, her eyes shining as she brushed the girl's hair from her face. When she was no longer in his arms, Alistair slumped back against the wall, closing his eyes, as though he couldn't bear to open them and see anything but her face.

Sten returned to the others, frowning down at the girl in his arms, and Leliana scrambled to her feet as they approached. She took a step towards them and slowly, gingerly, she reached out to touch Lauren's face.

"So beautiful." She crooned, stroking the Warden's cheek. She looked peaceful, like she might have been sleeping, but her skin was snow-white and her neck was crimson with blood. The blood was still wet. How closely had she missed her chance to say goodbye? If she had ridden faster, if she had risen earlier from her tent that morning...but Lauren's skin was ice-cold to the touch. "Goodbye. My brave, beautiful friend. Tu méritais mieux."

Leliana swallowed a sob, and planted a light kiss on her friend's forehead, whispering her favourite verse from the Chant of Light. She knew that Lauren didn't believe. But she still hoped that she had found peace, by the Maker's side.

When she stepped back, Zevran took her place, taking the Warden's hand and murmuring softly in Antivan. He placed a light kiss across her knuckles, before laying it across her chest, respectfully. When he turned from her, Leliana welcomed him into an embrace, and was all at once surprised and grateful at the strength with which he returned it. She wanted to say something, to tell them how much they all meant to her. She might have, if a booming voice from the doorway didn't interrupt her thoughts.

"Hello? I cannot fit through this tiny door. Will it be in there for much longer? What is it doing?"

Grayson looked puzzled, but realisation dawned on his face when he saw the golem, bent over at the waist, craning to see what was happening inside.

"You got the golem." He said, indifferently. "Like she wanted."

"Ah...I will go and explain things to the golem." Zevran said, quietly. "It is made of stone, so it is not exactly the embodiment of empathy and compassion. I would not want it to say anything that may...upset anyone."

"Morrigan." Grayson placed a hand on the witch's shoulder when she approached them. Morrigan did not flinch at his touch, as Leliana expected her to, but rather placed her hand over the Warden's in what could only be described as an intimate, comforting gesture. A jolt of fear ran through Leliana at the simple exchange. It was not her own jealousy, she told herself, but her concern for Grayson at what a close relationship with the witch might do to him.

"What do you wish of me?" She asked, softly.

"Will you take Leliana and Zevran to the inn to collect the rest of our things? I have to…" He trailed off, looking at Alistair's crumpled form.

Morrigan nodded.

"Of course." She motioned to the other two to follow her and left without a word. Zevran filed out after her, but Leliana was rooted to the floor.

"Sten." Grayson said, his jaw clenching as he turned to look at the Qunari, at his friend draped motionlessly in the giant's arms. "Will you...take her…" He stopped, gathering himself and sniffing, before continuing in a hoarse voice. "Will you wrap her in some blankets and...there are some wagons by the stables. Near the village gates. If you could…"

"Meravas." Sten replied, when Grayson's words failed him.

They watched as he carried their friend out of the chantry. The mabari trotted along at his heels, his snout pointing up, his eyes on his girl, his ears raised hopefully, waiting for her to wake up. Leliana imagined that she did, then. She imagined her eyelids fluttering open, the excited bark of the hound, the musical laughter that would escape her grinning mouth. Good boy, Larry!

She saw it so clearly in her mind's eye that when she looked back at the dead girl's face, it almost felt like losing her again.

"Brother Genitivi...would you allow us a moment?" Grayson asked, looking at the man for the first time. "We have a friend to take care of."

The moment that they were alone, Grayson choked out a sob that he'd been holding, burying his face in his hands. Leliana reached out to him, half-expecting him to brush her off, to resume his persona of fearless leader, but he welcomed her embrace. He clung to her and they wept together.

"None of this feels real. None of it...how can she be…" Grayson whispered, feverishly. Leliana felt him breaking in her arms and held onto him for everything she was worth. She had no words of comfort for him, and no answers to his questions. She felt him fighting with himself, trying to regain his composure. She felt the moment that he won the battle, and released him from her arms as he straightened up, with a shuddering breath. She met his eyes and he nodded at her, with a strength she was amazed he ever found.

He squeezed her shoulder, gratefully, and turned with a heavy sigh to do what he knew he must.

She watched him as he knelt beside Alistair and embraced him like a brother. The other man barely reacted. He was in shock, Leliana knew. She had seen it before.

"She's gone." Alistair said, with a note of surprise. "Where did she go?"

"Sten...Sten's readying a wagon for her. I've asked him to wrap her in blankets. To keep her warm and dry."

"I should be with her." He said, in a hollow voice.

"Alistair." Grayson took his friend's face in his hands, and bowed his head to meet his eyes. "I need you with me. I know it's…but I need you with me. I can't do this without you."

"I…she..." Alistair started, and Leliana's heart broke all over again. He looked so lost.

"Are you with me, brother?" Grayson asked, more forcefully this time.

"I...yes." Alistair said, screwing his eyes shut tight and nodding in determination. "I'm with you. She...she'll be so mad at me if I...if I let you down now."

"I know." Grayson said, sadly. "And I know this seems like we're...like we're carrying on as if nothing's happened. But this is the hand that life has dealt us. We are the first and last line of defence against the darkness that would swallow the world. We have to keep going. There will be time to stand still, to grieve, to mourn. But that time is not now."

"But-"

"I know." Grayson said, nodding. "I know. But we have to keep going, anyway."

"She-"

"We have to keep going, anyway." Grayson repeated, softly. "We have to keep going, anyway."

"You're right. You're right, we have to…" Alistair trailed off, and Leliana could hear in his voice that he had no conviction in what he was saying. "I'm with you."

Grayson nodded, grabbing the back of Alistair's head and kissing him roughly on the forehead, before embracing him again. Leliana looked away. She suddenly felt like she was intruding on a moment she had no right to be a part of. She took her leave, silently, and left the men to comfort one another as best as they could.

She wished she could have said something to Alistair, but she knew nothing she could have said would have been enough. He had lost the woman he loved and, as wretched as she felt for even thinking it, she had died by his hand. A tragic accident. He would never forgive himself. This would change him, she knew. How could it not? When she had left them, only a few days before, he had been a young, naive man in love. He had known loss, of course. But he had never known a loss like this. Now he was consumed by grief and guilt, and she hoped that some of the boy she knew would still be there in the man he became, when the growing pains subsided.

AN: I know this is short, but I hope you won't hold it against me. The next one will be up soon. I hope the change of perspective wasn't too jarring. Or do I? Actually I'm fine with it. Maybe it should be jarring. As always, leave me a review, let me know your thoughts and feelings.

Thank you to Judy and everyone else who reviewed!

To Eiris and Never33: I'm sorry I made you cry. But also, thank you! I take it as a compliment lol

Guest...I suspect Chimera Spyke but not logged in? Please correct me if I'm wrong! I know, it was mean. Would you be surprised that I'd considered every one of the ideas you suggested when deciding what would happen next? It was eerie. Like reading my own notes haha.

Mihoshi 2.0: Thank you and I'm sorry lol. I hope you can forgive me if I stick to a fairly regular upload schedule to put you out of your misery about where I'm going with this.

LeliMor29: Thanks for the welcome back! It's nice to be writing again. I missed this universe. Good thinking with the Ashes! That's why I knew I had to kill her before they got there. Too much of a cop out. I do like to write myself into corners sometimes, don't I? *wipes tear*