Thanks to Abc and Nomadic Defender for reviewing.

Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia.

PruDen: Awesome Beer

England sighed, glaring at his two drinking buddies. Normally when they went out drinking, he didn't mind if all three of them ended up wasted, but at the moment he would rather be home, sipping a cup of tea. The reason was simple: Denmark and Prussia were having a drinking contest.

And not just any drinking contest. No. This was a contest to see whether German or Danish beer was the best. And this didn't bode well. England had already witnessed when France and Portugal had a similar competition about their wines. It didn't end well.

Which was why he had stopped drinking himself and was watching the other two, wary of anything being broken and needing to be paid for.

The two were drinking a glass of the other's beer before drinking a glass of their own and comparing them. Of course, each would say that their own beer was better. Then they would go onto another brand, and the process would repeat itself.

England was feeling sorry for the bartender, who was starting to look really terrified of the two Germanic countries. And it was no wonder. The two were already at round five.

"Another."

Better make that round six.

England sighed, knowing that something bad would happen soon enough. It was a guarantee whenever two nations became competitive, especially when alcohol was involved. It always ended up with something bad happening.

"Bloody hell," England muttered, taking a glass of their respective beers. He took a large gulp of the German beer, allowing the taste to settle, before taking a gulp of the Danish beer. "You both have good beer, so let's just stop this before I end up paying for damages, or possibly your hospital bills."

Because that was what happened when he had been stuck with the whole France-versus-Portugal-wine-fiasco.

The two blinked at him, both of their eyes slightly glazed, before turning to each other.

"Mine's more awesome, though," Prussia said.

England groaned, and Denmark giggled.

"You've got some foam on your mouth," Denmark said.

Before England knew what was happening, Denmark had pulled Prussia into a kiss. England gaped as Prussia kissed back, before shaking his head.

"Bloody hell," he muttered. "I'm leaving."

Though he couldn't help but to admire the irony of the situation. The two Romance countries ended up in a bar fight, breaking each other's bones, while the Barbarians were kissing.

As he left the bar, he overheard Poland challenging Russia to a vodka contest. To say that England hightailed it out of there would be an understatement.

…

Meanwhile, Denmark and Prussia finally broke apart.

"It's just the two of us now," Prussia said. "So, your place or mine?"

I figured the two would bond over beer. And I thought it would be interesting to write someone's perspective from the outside. And what better choice than England?

And I wanted someone to get in a fight about wine, but I didn't want it to be France and Spain, because it's a bit cliché, so I chose France and Portugal. And I wanted to see someone compete against Russia with vodka.

And Germanic tribes were often considered to be barbarians by the Romans, in case you didn't know. It's also funny because both France and Portugal are Latin countries, and the situation of a bar fight versus a makeout session is pretty funny.