The weight of Dan's accusation hung heavily in the air as Blair's eyes flashed with anger. She closed in on Dan with purposeful steps, her accusatory finger pointing at him, trembling with rage.
"You," she hissed, her words sharp and her face twisted with disdain. "What did you just say?"
Hell was about to break loose.
Dan scanned the room, avoiding direct eye contact with anyone, especially Serena. His voice trembled as he stammered, "Nothing."
"What did you just say?" Blair punctuated each word. "Don't stir the pot and then play all innocent, Humphrey. If you wanted to say something, just say it. Mean it with your whole chest or don't say anything at all."
"It was nothing." Dan replied through clenched teeth.
"You're such a coward."
"I'm not the one you should be asking."
"Dan…" Serena intervened as she stepped between Dan and Blair, attempting to diffuse the situation.
Chuck couldn't help but suspect that Serena's intervention was driven by fear that Dan might slip up again. Lonely Boy had already proved that he could be quite dangerous when he decided to open his mouth.
"What!?" Dan sneered, "Don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about, Serena."
"Blair, don't listen to him. He's just acting out."
"What the hell do you mean by that? Is he right or not? It's as simple as that."
"No. He's not. He's lying." Serena stated firmly, her tone resolute. Her eyes pierced through Dan. If only looks could kill, he would be dead already.
"Why would he be lying?" Blair inquired.
"Because he's jealous."
"Of my boyfriend?"
"Yes!" Serena slipped but quickly corrected herself. "No."
"It's always a jealous boyfriend or the alcohol or the drugs, but never you, right? It's always someone else's fault." Dan sputtered, his anger bubbling to the surface once again. "Just acknowledge that your own actions have consequences for once in your life."
Serena ignored him and grabbed Blair by the shoulders, forcing her to look into her eyes. "Listen to me. We haven't slept together," her voice trembled a bit. "I swear."
Blair folded her arms tightly around her chest, her eyes rolling upward. The skepticism was etched across her face. Doubt had taken root in Blair's mind, and with each word Serena spoke, it deepened. No matter how many excuses Serena made, how passionately she swore, Chuck knew that Blair was slowly coming to terms with the inescapable reality. It was about time.
"You have to believe me." Serena pleaded.
Blair shifted her gaze, first to Dan, then to Serena, and finally to Nate.
"Don't you have anything to say for yourself?" Her eyes bore into Nate, demanding. Nate stood frozen, akin to a deer caught in the headlights. "Well, do you?"
Georgina's smirk grew wider as she chimed in. "Maybe he's just figured out not to kiss and tell."
Blair's attention quickly shifted toward her nemesis.
"Get out!" Blair commanded, her voice booming like thunder. "Both of you – I never want to see either of you again."
"I'm done," Dan conceded, raising his arms in a gesture of surrender. "We're done," he added, motioning between himself and Serena.
Dan stormed toward the exit, shoving past Blair and leaving the room in a huff. The main door slammed shut behind him, enveloping the room in heavy silence. Georgina, realizing her time was undoubtedly up, followed suit.
"Are you going to stop lying to me now?" Blair's composure faltered for the first time since Humphrey arrived. Her fists, once clenched in anger, relaxed, and her shoulders slumped. The fire in her eyes dimmed, replaced by a raw, unguarded vulnerability.
"We're not lying to you," Serena insisted once more.
"Enough!" she screamed, but her outburst missed the usual fire. "You're not a good liar, you know, nor a convincing actress. Though, kudos to you, Serena, for at least trying… Unlike him." She pointed a finger in Nate's direction, her tone dripping with bitter sarcasm. "Have you had a good time laughing behind my back while everyone knew? Oh, poor Blair, the boyfriend and the best friend. Such a cliché."
"Did you enjoy it? Were you so desperate to put that dick to good use that you couldn't even wait?" Blair pressed on, unrelenting, summoning every ounce of determination in a final, desperate attempt to elicit a denial from Nate that could unearth even the faintest glimmer of hope. "Was it worth it?"
"That's not what—"
"Tell me nothing happened between you two," Blair cut Serena short, her eyes welling up with tears. "Tell me."
Nate's gaze dropped to the floor. Chuck understood the guilt that seemed to weigh down Nate's shoulders, but the situation had only one viable course—honesty. The damage had been done, and any attempt to gaslight Blair would be nothing more than a temporary bandage destined to unravel.
"You can't even look me in the eyes." Blair continued.
"Blair—"
"Let him speak, Serena."
"We kissed." Nate admitted with a heavy sigh.
"Once." Serena added, trying to downplay it, her eyes pleading for understanding. "It was nothing, Blair. We both regret it deeply."
"More than once."
"Did you sleep with her?"
Nate hesitated for a moment before shaking his head. "No," he said, his voice barely above a whisper, "But I wish I did."
The room seemed to close in on itself, suffocating under the weight of secrets and shattered trust. Chuck couldn't shake the feeling that nothing would ever be the same again.
"I— I can't do this." Blair choked out. She turned and began to walk away.
Serena attempted to follow her.
"Let her go." Chuck finally spoke. "We've all done enough."
It was the middle of the afternoon when Chuck found himself pacing in front of Blair's bedroom door. He had told Serena that it would be best to leave Blair alone to lick her wounds, yet an indelible knot of unease lingered in his gut since the truth had come to light.
Chuck raised his hand to knock but lacked the courage to follow through.
For months, Chuck had been privy to Nate and Serena's secret. Just days after it had happened, Nate, thoroughly intoxicated, had stumbled into Chuck's apartment at the Palace. His drunken ramblings incessantly revolved around Serena and what they had almost done. He couldn't shut up about how desperately he had wanted it. Not once did Blair's name graze his lips.
Following that night, Nate hadn't brought it up again, but a noticeable shift in his demeanor toward Serena had been impossible to ignore. A fact observed by almost everyone. Chuck had confronted him multiple times, only to be met with solemn vows of silence. So, day after day, he reluctantly shouldered the responsibility of keeping Nate out of trouble.
As the months passed, it grew increasingly agonizing to witness Blair's suffering without being able to speak up, adhering to the sacred pact he held as Nate's best friend.
A small part of him was almost thankful that Dan Humphrey's tendency to thrust himself into the center of everyone's drama had exposed everything. However, it was not his secret to reveal, especially not in front of everyone, and certainly not in front of Georgina Sparks, whose presence had undoubtedly exacerbated Blair's humiliation.
Who could she trust now? Every one of them had betrayed her in one way or another.
Knowing Blair, she would likely pretend that everything was fine in no time, even if it truly wasn't. She would swallow her pain, suffer in silence, and put on a smile, even in the worst of times. Blair was a brave girl, and Chuck couldn't help but feel she had twice the courage he possessed. Yet, the act couldn't last much longer. Lately, the usual fire that accompanied her was slowly fading, and the fierce determination she had always had seemed weaker and short-lived. The pursuit of perfection was taking a toll on her.
His hand hesitated once again before her door, but Chuck finally summoned the will to knock. Each tap echoed like the ticking of a clock counting down to an unknown outcome. When no response came, he slowly pushed the door open.
"Waldorf?" he called out, his voice a low murmur that carried through the silence. "Are you all right?"
There was still no answer.
Chuck stepped into the room and his heart started to race. The sheets were crumpled and the familiar scent of Chanel No. 5 lingered, but she was nowhere to be found. The sight of her vacant bed sent a pang of worry through him.
Uncertain of his next move, Chuck settled onto the plush bed bench, his hand rising to massage his temples. Where could she be? Her bedroom door had remained closed since the morning, and only the cleaning team had left the house just hours earlier.
The distant sound of retching reached his ears, followed by an eerie silence broken only by the unmistakable flush of a toilet. Chuck's muscles tensed.
He knew he should go, but he couldn't shake the memory of Georgina's taunting words. So, he waited, determined to make sure she was okay before leaving her completely alone. He wasn't merely playing with fire; everything teetered on the brink of ignition.
Blair turned on the tap, and the water fell intermittently into the sink.
Chuck's leg began to move involuntarily, tapping the floor in a rhythmic beat.
Then, the bathroom door creaked open, and Blair emerged. Her eyes were puffy and red, and her hair was slightly disheveled. Blair abruptly halted when she noticed Chuck, and he rose from the bench.
His hands absently brushed over his trousers, as if trying to rid himself of non-existent sweat while her face registered nothing but shock. She hadn't expected him there, and the truth was, that he hadn't expected himself either. He had surely gone mad. He was losing his fucking mind. Chuck could only offer her a shrug of his shoulders, rooted to the spot.
"Are you all right?" Chuck repeated, his question finally reaching her ears.
Blair's expression remained inscrutable. He couldn't discern whether she wanted to scream at him, hit him, or toss him out—or none of those things at all. Desperation welled up in him, yearning for her to do something, anything. The silence in the room was suffocating. After what felt like an eternity, he started to chicken out, praying for a sign, an excuse to leave without having to meet her gaze and confront the hurt, the pain, and the turmoil that for sure lay beneath.
Yet, she offered him none of that. Stubborn as ever, she defied even his wildest expectations. Instead, she rushed toward him and collided with his chest, embracing him firmly. Chuck's arms initially hung at his sides, limp. But as the initial shock faded, he hugged her back, feeling the warmth and moisture from the tears seeping into his shirt where her head rested against his chest. He didn't mention it; he simply held her tighter.
"Did you know?" Her voice was a quiet murmur.
Chuck knew what she was referring to but would have given everything to stop the inexorable march of time and the conversation he definitely didn't want to have. "What?"
"Did you know they…" Blair stopped, unable to say the words. "About them."
"Yes."
There was no point in denying it any longer.
"For how long?" She lifted her head, her eyes searching for his, and he longed for the warmth of her against his chest.
Guilt began to flow through him, so with great effort, he let her go and returned to his initial position on the bed bench. She sat beside him, no longer touching.
"A while." Chuck admitted.
"You have been lying to me. You… You'd never done that before."
If only she knew. He was constantly lying to her, to himself.
"I'm sorry, Blair."
"Why didn't you say something?"
"I had given my word to Nate. Besides, it was not my secret to tell."
"That never stopped you before."
Chuck conceded, his voice steady. "I know."
"You were the only one who never sugarcoated the truth, even when it was tough to hear." Blair lowered her gaze, focusing on her hands.
"I know."
"It hurts."
"I know."
"Stop saying that."
Chuck shifted uncomfortably on the bed bench. The symmetrical patterns woven intricately into the rug beneath their feet held a mesmerizing quality. Did all the rooms have rugs with such exquisite designs?
A knock at the door drew their attention, and Nate's face appeared through the already partially open door.
"Blair, can we…" He began. "Oh, Chuck."
Chuck started to rise from his seat, but Blair's hand subtly tugged at the fabric of his trousers, attempting to anchor him in place. It was a gentle yet unmistakable signal. Nate noticed, so Chuck got up anyway.
Nate's initial surprise gave way to curiosity as he fully entered the room. "What are you doing here, man?" Now he felt like talking.
"I called him." Blair interjected.
"Oh, really? Since when do you need to call him?"
"Since my boyfriend is such a piece of shit."
"And he isn't?"
It was best if she didn't answer that question.
"Look, I'll leave you two to it." Chuck said, his tone neutral as he moved towards the door.
The bedroom door closed with a resounding bang. On the other side, Blair's muffled voice began to rise, followed by Nate's. Given all he had done, Nate had some nerve to be annoyed. But annoyed at what, exactly? Chuck was worried about her; that's all there was to it. At least Blair had someone to lean on, even if that someone happened to be him. Chuck wouldn't have been there in the first place if Nate had acted like a decent boyfriend instead of getting entangled with her girlfriend's best friend. That's why Chuck didn't do girlfriends. If you were destined to be a bad fucking person, the least you could do was own it.
The conversation taking place through the door grew more heated as Blair started recounting Nate's numerous missteps, from the night he'd stood her up at that Fifth Avenue dinner spot she adored to the most recent surprise fiasco. Nate began to make excuses about the surprise; his surprise, and Chuck's mouth grew parched.
How many sweet words and empty promises would it take for Blair to pardon Nate this time? Four? Five?
He didn't want to think about it. He refused to think about it.
Chuck turned away from the closed door, the bitter exchange fading behind him. His steps echoed in the dimly lit corridor as he made his way to the beach house's main staircase. As he descended, his thoughts swirled.
How much could Blair endure before she'd had enough?
It was sickening.
He eventually reached the living room. Serena sat in one of the armchairs, her hands covering her face, silently crying. She seemed unaware of his presence.
Chuck contemplated his next move: should he say something or quietly withdraw, leaving his stepsister to sort out her own mess? Serena had woven her own web, and it was now her responsibility to unravel it. Even when her lapse in judgment was out in the open, she couldn't admit the truth. He shifted uncomfortably as Serena continued to sniffle. Just as he was about to turn on his heel and leave, his phone emitted a sudden, distracting beep.
"Shit, shit, shit," he muttered as he managed to turn it off. Unfortunately, Serena removed her hands from her face and looked up at him.
"Hey," she said.
Shit. What was he supposed to do now?
"I fucked up, Chuck. Big time."
"What were you expecting? Seriously, for her to give you a round of applause while you were sleeping with her boyfriend? Or a thumbs-up?"
"We didn't go that far. You know that."
"What you did wasn't any better, Serena," Chuck scoffed, his tone direct. "It's time to face it. You wanted to. Nate wanted to. And it went on for a very long time. You lied to her, played the part of the loyal friend, and made her believe that everything was rosy with Nate. It's not better just because he didn't put his dick in you. You cheated, more than once. Who knows what made you stop."
Serena's eyes glistened with tears, "Are you enjoying this?"
"Not quite."
"She's never going to forgive me."
"She will. She loves you way too much."
"More than I deserve." Serena whispered, a hint of a self-deprecating smile.
Chuck's eyes met Serena's with empathy. They were all navigating similar troubled waters. Chuck bridged the gap, taking a seat in the armchair beside her.
Serena trembled as she asked, "Why am I like this, Chuck?"
"Like what?"
"Why do I destroy everything that I touch? Why does everything fall apart around me?" Serena's voice conveyed the weight of her past mistakes, a feeling Chuck knew all too well.
"I wish I knew, Serena." Chuck responded thoughtfully. "Look, we all have our demons. It's how we deal with them that matters."
"There must be something seriously wrong with me for Chuck Bass to be the voice of reason."
Chuck couldn't help but laugh, "You must have fucked up pretty badly."
"Tell her you're sorry" he continued, his tone earnest. "Speak from the heart, be honest. No more excuses, no more gaslighting. She just wants the truth."
"She must hate me." Serena sighed.
Chuck shook his head, "She doesn't."
As the conversation paused, Serena's eyes widened. She remained silent for a moment, as if deep in thought.
"You like her," she finally declared, her tone resolute.
"Absolutely not." Chuck protested.
"Oh my god! You do," Serena's expression started to change, her lips parting slightly as a glimmer of a smile broke through. "I never thought I'd see the day where Chuck Bass likes someone other than himself."
"What are you talking about? I like Nate, I like you."
"And you also like her."
Chuck hesitated, "Yes."
"Aha! But not in the same way. I can see it in your eyes. The way you act around her, the way you worry about her. The way you two have always found a way to gravitate around each other."
"You might want to consider getting some glasses."
"I'm such a fool. Why didn't I see it sooner?" Serena's smile was uncontrollable now, her prior feelings of betrayal and tears momentarily forgotten.
"Shut up, Serena." Chuck retorted. "I don't know why I bother with you."
The dim light of the bedside table partially illuminated the book that Chuck was currently immersed in. The Beautiful and Damned. The words within its pages transported him to the decadent world of the early 20th century elite, a realm not entirely dissimilar to his own. His phone's sudden beep interrupted his literary escape, prompting Chuck to close the book, carefully marking its place with a finger. It was probably nothing important.
Chuck picked up the annoying device from the bedside table, and a message from Nate graced the screen.
Meet me in the game room.
The phone beeped for a second time.
It's about Blair.
Chuck sighed. When was it not about Blair, or Serena, or Blair and Serena? Could his friend find another girl to mess with outside of their group of four? It wasn't like he didn't have a line of girls begging for his attention day in and day out.
Most likely, Blair had already forgiven Nate, and everything was right in the world again. Excellent. Now, his friend was summoning him to share the good news—news that Chuck neither wanted nor needed to hear. They could go ahead and start planning a cozy little family for all he cared. Then, why did he find himself inexplicably drawn to Blair?
It was time to put an end to this. Chuck had lost count of the number of times he had made that exact resolution.
He would go see Nate, bracing himself for his friend's effusive praise of Blair's forgiving nature and his commitment to becoming a better boyfriend. It would be another opportunity to witness how, in time, Nate would inevitably fall short once more. The sooner Chuck met Nate, the sooner he could leave and return to his book.
Chuck removed the finger that had been serving as a makeshift bookmark, rose from the bed, and donned his shoes. He ran a hand through his hair, ensuring he didn't leave the room looking like a mess, even if it was just to meet Nate. He approached the door, phone in hand. As he opened it, he intended to reply to Nate with a simple "I'm coming." However, when he stepped into the corridor, his body collided with something, or rather, someone.
"Ouch."
Blair.
He took in the delicate linen dress she wore, a grayish-blue fabric that clung to her form with an alluring simplicity that left him breathless.
"Next time, make sure to watch where you're going," her tone was stern. She began smoothing her dress, though it looked impeccable already.
"What are you talking about?" Chuck cleared his throat. "I wasn't the one who barreled into you like a runaway freight train while a humble soul was just leaving his room."
The collision hadn't disheveled a single strand of his perfectly styled hair. It was then he realized that despite her flawless exterior, her eyes still carried a touch of the same sadness from hours earlier.
"Humble soul. You?" She snorted. "Please. And I'm a nun."
"You'd manage to make a nun's habit look alluring, I'm sure."
Blair avoided his gaze, a faint blush tinging her cheeks, and crossed her arms. "You're incorrigible."
There it was, that undeniable gravitational pull Serena had mentioned. Fucking hell. If he kept talking to her, he would not leave. And he really needed to. Nate was waiting, and Chuck just wanted to get the awkward conversation over with. But what could Nate possibly want if Blair was right there?
"What are you doing here?" Chuck asked.
"Are you busy?" She responded with another question.
"Kind of."
The phone beeped for a third time. Damn Nate. Blair glanced at his hand.
"Were you going somewhere?"
"Yes."
"Oh..." She froze, her mouth falling open. God, she was beautiful. Deep in thought, she continued, "Don't keep her waiting for me."
Did she really think he was going to see another girl? Well, he hadn't exactly given her any reason to think otherwise. His reputation preceded him.
"No, that's not—" Chuck felt compelled to explain himself, though he wasn't sure why.
"It's fine, Chuck," she cut him off. "Forget I came."
Chuck halted her with a soft grip on her arm, a sense of apprehension tugging at him. He couldn't shake the feeling that he might come to regret this, yet he couldn't let her go without finding out what she wanted.
"Wait."
Resolutions be damned.
"What brings you to my room, Blair?"
Blair attempted to deflect, her tone slightly defensive, "I was merely passing by. Don't get too full of yourself."
Chuck rolled his eyes, she was an open book. "You were coming to see me. Why?"
"Aren't you busy? Go be a man-whore. It's what you do best."
"Can you stop with that! I'm not going to—" He started heating up but quickly thought better of it. "Never mind."
Blair was clearly upset, and while their spirited exchanges were a familiar pastime, he didn't want to add to her emotional burden. Despite their proclivity for witty banter and Blair's unique ability to engage him, hurtful words would only escalate the situation. If Blair had something on her mind, she needed to communicate it. He would not make it easier for her this time. If she merely wanted to spar verbally, she'd have to do it on her own.
"What do you need?" Chuck changed his approach.
Blair stood silent, her arms still tightly crossed over her chest. She let out a weary huff before the façade crumbled completely, giving way to utter despair. His heart broke a bit.
"To get out of here," she whispered, barely making out the words.
"All you needed to do was ask."
He gently tugged at her arm, guiding her down the corridor with a clear destination in mind. Despite his internal struggle, he knew exactly what Blair needed at that moment, and he was going to give it to her. The earlier plans with Nate faded into the background.
As they navigated the hallways of the beach house, Blair started to complain. She resembled a petulant child, asking her parents how much longer it would be until they reached their destination.
"Where are you taking me?"
He didn't say a word.
"Chuck!"
Chuck stopped on his tracks before entering the garage, where a cool, faintly gasoline-infused scent wafted into his nose. He turned to face Blair, a small smile playing on his lips. "Blair, for once in your life, just shut up."
In the corner of the garage, Chuck's sleek, red sport motorcycle stood.
Author's Note:
Everything's out in the open now! Well, almost. Thanks for reading, and I'm glad you all enjoyed getting inside Chuck's head. The next chapter is all Chair, basically a straight continuation of this one. I kept adding so much stuff that it had to be split into two parts. I'm dying to know what you all think.