Hello, all! I hope this chapter finds you well. I've been slaving away ever since the last chapter to get it all finished up neatly and here it is.
Once again I wanted to take a moment to thank all of you for your concern over my health. I continue to be in good health and good spirits for the most part and I will continue to write for as long as I've got ideas floating around in my brain that I need to get out. Thank you all, though, for being concerned about me beyond merely my capacity to write this story.
"There's no way they could have done this on their own," Inuyasha murmured, eyes hard. "No way in the seven hells. Ships don't just come outta nowhere, and if they'd been building a fleet themselves then someone woulda known about it. They woulda needed supplies, manpower…something!"
"They couldn't have diverted the materials without you noticing? They do have members on the Council and other clans that might have supported them while they were doing it," Kagome said, trying to put aside her own dismay in order to help him work through this.
Inuyasha shook his head.
"No way," he said. "Some of the courtiers might've supported them, but not as far as they could throw them. No clan would ever risk funneling enough supplies to another to let them get the upper hand. And even back then I would've noticed if that much were being taken out under my nose."
Kagome glanced down at the scrap of weathered cloth, considering this. Her brow furrowed.
"The foreigners," she said suddenly. "Remember the weapons we found when we found your father? They had this same symbol carved into the hilt of some of them as is on this. We found him on Tsushima. Maybe no one in the court could have gotten the supplies or the ships to the Taira without anyone noticing, but a foreign court could have done it easily were they so inclined."
Inuyasha's eyes swept from her to the cloth.
"…Yeah," he said slowly, considering this. "Yeah. If the Taira promised them that they'd oust me or give 'em some land in return, it wouldn't be difficult. I don't recognize the symbol, though. It's not one I've ever seen."
"Well, the Taira would know," Kagome said. "If we just confront them with this, they can't-"
"No," Inuyasha said, loudly enough to startle her. "You're not going anywhere near them."
"But we have proof-"
"No," Inuyasha snapped, meeting her eye squarely. "Think about it, Kagome. Right now they've got no idea that we know any of this. That might be the only thing we've got going for us. Besides, what would confronting them get us? You'd piss them off and they still wouldn't tell you shit."
Kagome frowned, silently conceding the truth of this. If they already had ships in position off the coast, knowledge truly might be their only advantage until they could rally their own forces and get them into position. Attempting to confront them would likely only lead to a denial, and though it would also allow them the freedom to attempt to try them in the court it might provoke the ships to attack if they caught wind of it.
"Fine," Kagome conceded after a beat. "Give it to me."
She held out her hand for the cloth. Inuyasha gave the appendage and then her an incredulous look.
"Someone needs to find out what that symbol means," Kagome said. "I may not be as inconspicuous as I would like, but I still have more freedom to move about the court unnoticed than you do. At least, I will as soon as you lift the restriction on me."
Inuyasha clutched the cloth more tightly, a scowl tugging down the corners of his mouth.
"No way," he said. "I'll keep this. I'll figure out what it means on my own."
Kagome frowned at him.
"It was brought to me, Inuyasha," she argued. "By all rights it is mine to do with as I wish. And besides, I can-"
But Inuyasha was already shaking his head.
"Not a chance," he said. "Not a chance in the seven hells. I keep this. You keep resting-"
"I can't rest anymore!" Kagome snapped, ire flaring. "All this resting is going to kill me! I want to be out. I want to be useful. What good am I to anyone locked up like a bird in a cage?"
"You'd be alive," Inuyasha said, meeting her eye squarely. "That's all that matters."
Kagome fell silent, irritation cooling at the look on his face.
"I'll resent you," she said quietly after a moment. "I know that you are only trying to keep me safe, but I know myself well enough to know that I will begin to resent you if you keep trying to go about it this way. I promise I will do my best to be careful, but I need you to trust that I can take care of myself."
Inuyasha gave her a long look, frustration writ clear in the tension of his features. At last he held out the black cloth to her, jaw clenched. Kagome took it from him.
"The guard stays," he said, his tone brooking no argument. "Anywhere you go, at least two of them go with you. The ship's flag stays secret. You don't poke your nose anywhere near the Taira. I hear you've done any of that shit and I put you right back in the Dairi until everything blows over, you got it?"
Kagome nodded.
"Swear it," Inuyasha demanded.
"I swear," Kagome replied.
"Fine," Inuyasha huffed, though he did not look particularly pleased. "It's late. Take your guard back to your residence and get some rest. I'll lift the restriction starting tomorrow."
He turned his face from her. Kagome rose slowly, a bit put off by the abrupt dismissal. As she moved to pass him, however, he caught her wrist.
He murmured something, barely loud enough for her to catch, before releasing her. Kagome stood blinking for several moments, scarcely able to believe her own ears.
Woodenly she began moving forward, absently tucking the flag away into the front of her robes as she went. At the entryway she glanced back at the hanyou, but his back was to her.
She followed her guard back to her residence, only vaguely aware of her surroundings as she went. She was faintly startled to suddenly find herself alone in her own room, sinking to her knees on her futon after a few moments.
"I can't lose you."
The words echoed in her ears the rest of the night.
The next morning found Kagome at a loss. Part of it might have been the fogginess that clouded her head after a poor night's sleep. The rest, however, was simply a complete lack of ideas.
For all that she had fought Inuyasha for the right to look into the symbol on the sail, she had no idea where to begin searching. The Taira were the only ones that she knew with any certainty would know what it was and, as Inuyasha had pointed out, confronting them now would likely cause more problems than it would solve.
On top of that she had to be very cautious in her inquiries. Word of this could not be allowed to spread through the court, and she could not risk asking anyone who might send word back to the Taira. Her options for people she felt safe turning to were limited, especially with Miroku and Sango still out of the court.
After mulling it over for a good part of the morning from the comfort of her own futon, Kagome decided at last that the best she could do was to start with the people she trusted and work from there. She forced herself up and out of bed, readying herself quickly before heading out.
True to his word, Inuyasha had lifted the restriction on her. Her guard gave her no trouble when she told them that her destination was the Chūwain and they were quickly on their way. Thankfully it was yet early in the morning, too early for many to be milling about, and Kagome was saved the trouble of having to deal with any courtiers.
They passed beneath the tori and mounted the steps. Kagome was faintly surprised at how quickly the effort began to wear on her, though she tried to write it off as merely the inactivity of the last few days.
She was so preoccupied that she did not notice the figure standing at the top of the steps until her group was nearly upon it. Apparently the figure had been similarly preoccupied, turning sharply as Kagome came to a halt a few steps down from it.
The young miko found herself looking directly into startled red eyes, the emotion chased swiftly by a flash of something akin to fear as the skin of her face blanched a paler white than even its natural pearl-like hue.
These emotions flitted swiftly across the fine face to be replaced by the usual curl of disdain around the corners of her blood red lips. Even this, though, could not entirely conceal the unease written deep in her eyes, and she twisted her fan up to shield the lower half of her face as if this might protect her.
"Miko-sama," she murmured, dipping in a faint bow.
With that Kagura hurried past her down the steps, a gust kicking up as she reached the mid-point. In a swirl of wind she was gone from sight.
Kagome blinked after her, uncertain what had just happened. The youkai had practically fled at the sight of her, as if she had been caught in the midst of something terrible. Kagome's glance turned automatically toward the spot where the woman had been standing, as if that might provide some clue.
There was nothing there visible to the naked eye, nor even in her sixth sense. The spot merely faced the wing in which-
Kagome froze, a sudden idea occurring to her. If anyone would be versed in foreign matters, it would be him. He was hardly someone she could count as trustworthy, but in his current position could he really do all that much harm with the information?
She chewed her lower lip, debating within herself.
Nodding to herself, she started off toward the wing where Sesshoumaru was being held.
"What makes you think that this Sesshoumaru will not kill you where you stand?"
Kagome fought back a shudder, eyeing the daiyoukai where he stood with seeming indifference writ clear in his posture. He was much recovered since she had last seen him, though the sleeve that would have covered his left arm hung empty still. Aside from that, though, he looked every bit the cool predator that his name suggested.
"You can kill me if you like," Kagome said, keeping her voice steady only with an effort of will. "But it would not do you much good. My guards are just outside the door, and killing me would not get rid of the barrier. Your situation would remain exactly the same, save that the Tennō-sama would likely have your head for it. You do not strike me as someone inclined to futile exercises, Sesshoumaru-sama."
In the blink of an eye he stood before her, scarcely a hair's breadth away. Kagome's heart jumped into her throat. It was an effort to bite back a yelp.
Sesshoumaru's eyes met her own, chill as an evening in the depths of winter.
"Do not presume to know what this Sesshoumaru would or would not do, human," he said, not the slightest hint of inflection in his voice. "I do not share the same weakness for humans as that hanyou."
"Obviously," Kagome said faintly, raising her hands in preparation to defend herself.
Sesshoumaru made no further move towards her, though. She relaxed a fraction.
"I have a proposition that might serve to earn you some of your freedom back, Sesshoumaru-sama," Kagome said, cutting straight to the point.
She had no desire to remain there longer than was necessary. She could only imagine what the daiyoukai's father had been like in life, if his son's youki was this intimidating.
One corner of his mouth curled faintly in disdain.
"This Sesshoumaru does not make deals with humans," he returned.
"Even if that deal is your only hope of ever getting out of here?"
The daiyoukai's eyes slid away from hers dismissively. Kagome frowned.
"Just look at this," she pressed, reaching into the front of here robes to pull forth the flag. "Do you recognize the symbol?"
His glanced at the flag as she unfurled it before him, his gaze lingering for only a moment. Just long enough for her to catch the flash of recognition in his eyes.
"You do," she said. "You recognize it."
Sesshoumaru eyed her and Kagome got the impression that he was slightly surprised by her insight. She held the flag up higher, forcing it back into his line of sight.
"This Sesshoumaru has no intention of aiding the hanyou in cleaning up whatever mess he has managed to create," the daiyoukai said, turning from her fully.
"Inuya-The Tennō-sama did not cause this," Kagome said. "His Majesty is merely trying to fix it. Shouldn't you want that, as well, Sesshoumaru-sama? The blood of the former Tennō-sama, your father, runs through the both of you. Should you not concern yourself with the fate of his lands, as well?"
"Not so long as they are in the hands of a dirty-blooded, human-loving fool."
Kagome bit her tongue against a sharp retort. He had the answer. He was right in front of her, holding the key to figuring out who the Taira were conspiring with and possibly even who had had a hand in his own father's untimely demise. She just needed to get him to give it up somehow.
She opened her mouth, her mind working frantically to come up with something that might be convincing to such a cold-hearted man.
She was cut short, however, by the clattering of the shoji behind her. She spun to face it, startled by the sound.
Midoriko stood in the doorway, framed on either side by her guard. Kagome tucked the flag away hurriedly, a glance out of the corner of her eye telling her that Sesshoumaru had not so much as glanced behind him at the sound.
"The Tennō-sama has been searching for you," Midoriko said. "His Majesty says it is urgent that you meet him in chambers immediately."
Kagome frowned.
"Does…his Majesty know where I am?" she asked.
Midoriko nodded.
Inwardly Kagome winced. It had not taken Inuyasha long to find her out. She wondered if he had set a tail on her guard. How much trouble would this little venture get her into?
"Then I will go to his Majesty immediately," she said. "Thank you for alerting me, O-Miko-sama."
She started forward, and then paused.
"I will come to visit with you again soon, Sesshoumaru-sama," she said, by way of letting the daiyoukai know that they were not nearly finished.
He spared her a glance over his shoulder, unmoved.
Midoriko slid the shoji shut behind her as she exited the room, joining her at her side as she set off down the hall with her guard. A faint frown graced her lips as she eyed her.
"Is there a reason for you wishing to prod a beast so early in the morning and so soon after regaining your freedom?" she inquired, raising a brow.
"There is," Kagome replied. "And I had meant to explain it to you as soon as I finished up here."
"Best to save that until after you have dealt with his Majesty," Midoriko said. "I will be expecting a full report soon."
Kagome nodded, offering her a fleeting smile before starting off toward the Dairi to face whatever punishment was to follow.
Of all the scenarios Kagome had envisioned, this had not been one.
No, this was far, far worse.
She stood in the entryway, unable to force herself to move any further into the room. The tension was so thick that it had a force all its own, holding her back.
Abruptly her stomach roiled. She had never expected to see him again, and especially not here and with him. What should she say to him? What could she say to him?
"What-?"
The pathetic, squeaking sound was all that escaped her when she opened her mouth.
Neither man answered her, nor even spared her a glance. One continued to stare sullenly at the cushion beneath him, while the other's fierce glare did not leave him.
Kagome forced herself to take one step forward and then another, though it felt like she was slogging through ankle-deep muck. The whole situation felt like some bizarre nightmare that her overtaxed mind had conjured up.
Inuyasha shot her a sharp glance, directing her with a look to the cushion at his side. Kagome approached it hesitantly, pausing before she knelt down.
She had already hurt Kouga enough. There was no need to add onto it now.
She shifted the cushion a bit, just enough to show the wolf youkai that matters between herself and Inuyasha were not what he had thought them to be on that awful day. She ignored the sharp look Inuyasha directed at her.
"Why are you here, Kouga-sama?" she asked quietly when it became obvious that the man had no intention of speaking.
"It's not like I wanna be here," the wolf snapped, so harshly that she nearly flinched. "I had to come."
"Watch your mouth in my court, wolf shit," Inuyasha snarled in return.
Kouga raised his eyes in a glare, but dropped them again upon catching sight of Kagome. It was a long moment before he would speak again, and she could feel Inuyasha growing more tense behind her with each passing moment.
"Something is going on out there," Kouga said at last.
Kagome nearly sighed in relief at the words, as she was almost certain that they had just narrowly prevented Inuyasha from exploding. She frowned, though, as they actually sank in.
"What do you mean?" she asked. "Has something happened?"
"Nothing's happened," Kouga said, still not meeting her eye. "That's just it. Almost nothing's happened at all since-"
He cut himself off, but Kagome understood well enough. Since they had parted. She bit her lip, realizing how much he still must be hurting after all that had passed between them.
"Anyway," said Kouga, clearing his throat forcefully. "There's been nothing. No turf challenges. No border skirmishes. Nothing. I even went to the couple of chiefs of the territories around mine. Nothing on their ends, either."
"You dragged your flea-bitten ass all the way here because it was too quiet for you?" Inuyasha bit out.
Kagome shot him a sharp look over her shoulder. Inuyasha did not spare her a glance.
"Like I said, dog shit," Kouga spoke through gritted teeth. "I wouldn't have fucking come if I didn't have to. It was quiet, and then Ayame came after me-"
"Ayame?" Kagome echoed.
Kouga glanced at her for a moment before his gaze fell.
"The Taira youkai," he said gruffly. "She followed me out of the court or something. Said she was hiding or had escaped or something like that. I dunno. She babbled so much it was hard to get anything out of her that made sense."
Kagome blinked, a memory flickering dimly in the back of her mind.
"The redhead?" she said. "The redheaded wolf youkai from the Taira clan? She is Ayame?"
She could have sworn she saw a faint flush rising on his swarthy cheeks. He ducked his head further.
"Redhead. Annoying. Babbles all the time," he said brusquely. "That one."
"She left the court?" Kagome said. "She told you that she escaped the Taira and came to you?"
"That's what I said, isn't it?"
Kagome held up a hand in a placating manner.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she said. "I am just trying to understand. Please, what exactly has she been telling you, Kouga-sama, that would drive you to come here?"
"She escaped the court," Kouga said slowly, as he might explain something to a child. "She said none of the Taira have done it in years, but that things are such a mess with them right now that she was able to slip away. She said something's…wrong in the clan. She's not sure what, but the head has been acting strange for awhile now and she was afraid of what would have happened if she stayed there. She said she…"
He murmured something that caused his cheeks to heat once more. Kagome chose to disregard this, focusing instead on what he had told her.
"Is Ayame-sama still back with the Eastern Wolf Tribe, then?" she asked.
Kouga nodded.
"I didn't wanna force her to come back around here," he said. "But between what she said and what's been going on with the youkai…"
He paused, his eyes rising to meet hers. Kagome froze. For that brief moment that look was back in his eyes, that warmth that she had once tried so hard to answer. She felt heat flooding her cheeks, a deep flush of shame. This time it was her who had to avert her eyes.
"I thought you at least oughta know," Kouga finished more quietly. "I don't know what you'll make of it-hell, I've got no clue what to make of it. But I gave you my word, so consider this my way of making good on it."
"…Thank you," Kagome managed after a moment, her voice scarcely rising above a murmur.
Kouga nodded.
"Would you be able to remain in the court for a few days, Kouga-sama?" Kagome asked, forcing herself to recover. "We will need some time to decide on a course of action, and I think it would be best if you were here to consult once we do."
She could feel Inuyasha bristling behind her, though he held his tongue. Kouga frowned, hesitating for a long moment.
"Alright," he said grudgingly. "But I'm not hanging around this time. I need to get back to my clan as soon as possible."
"I understand," Kagome replied. "We will try-"
"The rooms you were in last time are still open," Inuyasha broke in, his voice causing the hairs on the back of her neck to rise. "You'll stay there. Go. Now."
Kouga hesitated, his glance sliding from the hanyou to Kagome's pale face. Slowly he rose, exiting without another word.
There was a beat of silence following his departure in which Kagome did not quite dare to turn around.
"What in the seven hells was that?"
Kagome drew a deep breath, steadying herself. She still did not turn to face him.
"I'm not certain," she began. "It's difficult to-"
"Not that," Inuyasha snarled. "You. The wolf. What happened between you?"
Kagome bit her lip, uncomfortably aware of the fact that Inuyasha knew nothing of Kouga's joining her on her mission outside the court or what had passed between them during that time. She forced herself to turn partially to face him, tucking a strand of hair back behind her ear.
"Kouga-sama came all this way to bring us that news and that is what you choose to concern yourself with, Inuyasha?" she said, shooting him a glance from the corner of her eye. "Honestly-"
"I'm not a fucking idiot, Kagome!" Inuyasha thundered, palm striking the floor hard enough to rattle a nearby brazier. "It's clear as fucking day that something is going on between you and that flea bitten wolf! I-!"
"I don't think you an idiot, but I will think you a fool if you continue to carry on like this!" Kagome snapped, irritation rising to cover her discomfort.
She should not need to explain to him anything that might have passed between her and Kouga. In light of the circumstances it was neither important nor anything that he had a right to know. She needed his focus and his help now more than ever.
Inuyasha blinked at her, some of the heat fading from his expression. Kagome lifted her eyes to meet his.
"I don't want to do this on my own," she said quietly. "But I will if I have to."
Inuyasha was silent, but the remainder of the fierceness faded from his features. His eyes fell away from hers.
"I know you're only trying to protect me, Inuyasha," Kagome said softly. "And I am grateful for that. Always. But you cannot protect me from everything."
"Protect you?" Inuyasha echoed with uncharacteristic softness. "Is that what you think this is?"
His eyes met hers. Kagome blinked, at a loss. She didn't understand. A faint flicker in the back of her mind told her that she did not want to understand. She shifted, fixing her gaze on a dim corner of the room.
"What course of action do you think we should pursue in regards to the Taira?" Kagome asked, eager to change the course of the conversation. "We'll need to decide on something quickly. I imagine we don't have much time either way if things were bad enough that Ayame-sama chose to flee, but I would prefer to have everything sorted out before Kouga-sama has to return to his clan."
A length of silence followed her words. At last she heard something akin to a scoff from the hanyou's general direction.
"What makes you so sure that the Taira wolf isn't a trap?" Inuyasha said.
This surprised Kagome enough to return her attention to him.
"Think about it," Inuyasha continued. "How did she get out without their noticing? Why go to the scrawny wolf, of all people? It's not like the whole court didn't think the two of you were-"
Inuyasha's expression darkened as he cut himself short, but Kagome got his meaning well enough. The whole court had believed her to be intimately associated with the wolf Lord at one point. Ayame could have been sent to him in the hopes that he would carry word back to her.
"But why?" Kagome asked. "What would they be hoping to gain by making sure this got to us?"
Inuyasha shrugged, shaking his head.
"Who knows?" he said. "Probably trying to distract us from something else. Keep our attention here in the court on them."
Kagome blinked, a thought occurring to her. She pressed her hand to the spot where the sailcloth rested just beneath her robes.
"The ships…?"
Inuyasha's brow furrowed as he considered this. He gave a small nod.
"Maybe," he said. "If they're planning on doing something with the ships soon it would make sense."
Kagome frowned.
"We've got no way of knowing," she murmured, half to herself. "Whether or not this is a trap, the only people who would know for certain are the Taira."
"We'd have to interrogate the wolf girl," Inuyasha put in.
"But we can't possibly ask her to come back to the court without knowing that there's no danger to her," Kagome said. "Not if she really did flee for her life."
"That doesn't leave us with a lot of options, Kagome," Inuyasha said dryly.
"I know," she said. "I just don't want to make any hasty moves. Something is going on with them. We just need to untangle what it is. Until then, can't we post a guard to watch them or something?"
"And say what when the court gets up in arms about it?" Inuyasha said. "The Taira won't be quiet about it if they think I'm trying to spy on them."
"Unless that is what they wanted," Kagome countered. "If Ayame-sama truly was an attempt to distract us, won't they welcome an increase of attention? Put them under a guard. See if they protest it or not. In the meantime I can look into things using other channels."
"Other channels?" Inuyasha echoed, one dark brow rising.
"Nothing dangerous," Kagome hastened to assure him, raising a hand as if to stem the flow of remonstrance she could sense coming. "I just need to ask around a little bit. See if I can find anyone who might know a little more about the Taira that might help us to make sense of things. Perhaps talk to Kouga-sama and see if he can recall anything else about Ayame-sama that may be of use."
The hanyou tensed.
"You talk to him again, I'm in on it, you understand?" he said.
Kagome frowned, on the verge of arguing. She stopped herself, thinking better of it.
"Alright," she agreed with a nod.
Inuyasha eyed her, surprised at her easy assent to the condition. He gave a slight nod.
"Good," he said.
"Then it's settled," Kagome said, nodding in return. "I will leave it to you to select a guard to set around the Taira while I look into the matter of the sail and the clan."
Inuyasha made a faint noise of agreement as Kagome rose to leave. She turned, intent on returning to her residence to see if she could not come up with a list of people that might be able to provide some information about what was going on within the Taira. Sesshoumaru-sama, at least, would not be going anywhere anytime soon. She had time to figure out how exactly to-
"Kagome."
She halted at the threshold of the entryway. She turned to find that the hanyou had risen, standing several lengths from her.
"You," he said tentatively, struggling for words. "You and…the wolf…"
Kagome tensed, watching him warily. There was an uncharacteristic openness to his expression, though, a quality that was almost vulnerable. His eyes rose, meeting her gaze for an instant. His expression shuttered.
"Forget it," he said, turning from her. "Just go."
Kagome hesitated, looking after him.
"Inuyasha…" she said softly.
The hanyou said nothing in reply, though she was almost certain he had heard her. After a beat she turned and swept through the entryway, pushing it from her mind as the hanging slid closed behind her.
Perhaps there were some things that were better left unaddressed between them.
The list was woefully short.
Kagome knew she should have expected as much, but she had hoped it might be otherwise. The Taira were too careful by far. There was almost no one save themselves that she could think to turn to for any sort of reliable information, and very few people outside of them that she felt safe asking for even hear-say about them. She did not want to risk rousing anyone's suspicions.
After wracking her mind through every possible scenario, Kagome realized she had lost the daylight. She decided she had best get some sleep and decide on a course of action when her mind was a bit fresher in the morning.
Sleep was a fickle thing that night, though. She came in and out of a light doze all night, her mind circling continuously around the fact of the wolf Lord's sudden presence in the court.
Yet again he had stuck his neck out for her. Had left his clan behind in order to help her. The gratitude she felt towards him was mingled with shame and more than a little frustration. He did not have to go to such lengths for her. There was nothing that bound him to her anymore.
Except that the way things had ended between them had been awful and uncertain. He had simply left, barely allowing her time to explain herself or apologize. Not even allowing himself to vent his frustrations as he should have.
His presence here was a second chance for her to make amends somehow. To make up for her former fumblings.
If only she were brave enough to take it.
Kagome arose later the next morning than she was accustomed to. The poor night's sleep left her groggy, but after a bit of struggle she managed to forced herself up out of bed and back to the Chūwain. Midoriko did not seem a poor place to start when looking for information about anything in the court, and after speaking with her she could pay another visit to Sesshoumaru. Not that she had had much luck in figuring out how to encourage him to speak with her.
She sighed under her breath as she reached the top step, turning toward the main hall. She went through the purification ritual absently, her guard following her example before they entered the main hall.
Midoriko was easy to find, working with quiet concentration on a prayer scroll in the main hall. She offered the guards tea in a room not far from the main hall while they waited for them to finish their conversation. The men agreed readily and the pair was left in relative privacy.
"It is good to see that you continue to be in good health," Midoriko said as she settled in on the cushion across from her. "How does your shoulder fare?"
"It has been fine since I woke," Kagome replied. "The scar is still there, but it does not bother me at all."
"I am glad," Midoriko said, though the way that she eyed her shoulder spoke more of wariness than happiness. "You came, then, to explain your presence here yesterday?"
"Partly," Kagome said. "But I also have some questions that I was hoping you might have answers to, if you have a bit of time to spare."
"Of course," Midoriko said readily.
"I need to know about the Taira," Kagome said. "Particularly anything…strange you might have noticed recently."
Midoriko's brow furrowed slightly.
"Strange?" she echoed. "Is something going on, then?"
"Something is," Kagome affirmed. "The problem is that we cannot seem to figure out exactly what that something might be."
Midoriko frowned.
"I am afraid I might not be of much help, then," she said. "The Taira are highly private, to say the least. I know little about their comings or goings within the court, as they tend to avoid the Chūwain. I know a bit about their history, but little else."
Kagome's face fell slightly. She had expected about as much, though.
"Anything you can tell me is welcome," she said. "Especially if you happen to know anything about their connection to…to Miyasu-sama."
Kagome bit her lip, half-wondering if she should have said the words now that they were out. She had mulled over the matter of Miroku's father and what they had discovered outside of the court for some time, wondering if it was her place to begin looking into the matter without the houshi present. She still had not come to any solid decision on the matter, but she could not very well take it back now.
"Miyasu-sama?" Midoriko echoed, eyeing her curiously. "You mean the good Houshi's late father?"
Kagome nodded.
"Well, as far as I am aware, he had no more to do with the Taira than most in the court," Midoriko said thoughtfully. "As a clan of youkai they have certainly never had too much to do with spiritualists, save observing the most basic rituals. Miyasu-sama…well, I suppose he was more ambivalent towards the Taira than most in the court, if I recall correctly."
The elder miko frowned, her gaze turning inward for a moment. A deep furrow appeared upon her brow as she struggled to summon up some memory from the depths.
"Why do you say that, Midoriko-sama?" Kagome prompted.
"I think…" Midoriko said slowly, laboring to catch hold of the fleeting thought. "He mentioned to me once that he took some issue with the former Taira headman. Something about him and the poor young boy he had brought into the court…"
She lapsed into silence for a long moment, frowning down at her clasped hands. Kagome forced herself to wait without speaking, afraid to break the woman's line of thought should she interrupt.
"He did not like the boy for some reason," Midoriko spoke at last, raising her eyes to meet Kagome's. "I remember because I found it strange. The entire matter was a strange one. Miyasu-sama was an exceptionally kind man, but he disliked that ill-fated child from the moment he was brought into the court by the former headman."
"Which was strange in and of itself. The boy was human, and common-born at that. The headman said it was some strange twinge of pity that drove him to bring the boy here. No one ever really understood it. I cannot imagine that his was a very happy life."
"His name," Kagome said, a strange feeling stealing over her. "Do you recall what the boy's name was?"
Midoriko nodded.
"I believe so," she said. "The boy was not often seen outside of the Taira residence, but between the strangeness of his name and his circumstances he became a bit of an infamous matter within the court. He was called Onigumo, I think."
Kagome felt as if a bolt had struck her. The hair on the back of her arms stood on end.
Onigumo. The little boy from the village. Fuyumi's boy. He had not been killed by the fighting between the clans, but had been brought to the court along with his mother. By all logic the discovery should have been a small one, nothing more than mere happenstance, but to her mind it had a certain weight that she could not ignore.
"Kagome?" Midoriko said, nearly startling her. "Are you alright? You've gone pale."
She had risen, gently laying the back of her fingers across Kagome's forehead. Kagome blinked up at her, hoping that she did not look as startled as she felt. A faint frown deepened the lines of the elder miko's brow.
"Have you been well since you woke?" she asked softly.
Kagome forced herself to nod.
"Quite well," she said.
Midoriko eyed her, obviously not entirely convinced. She moved to resume her seat, though, her demeanor growing thoughtful.
"I was certain you would pass," she said, abruptly enough that Kagome jerked. "When I first got a clear look at your wound…every bit of my experience as a healer told me that it was fatal."
Kagome stared at her, mute with shock.
"But then I began to see the thread," the elder miko continued, speaking almost to herself. "Every time he appeared it was there. It did not fray and it did not snap. It tugged you back, slowly but surely. It anchored you here. Never…never have I seen such an unyielding bond before."
She fell silent, a wistful look clouding her features for a moment before she lifted her gaze. Kagome met her look, feeling heat begin to rise to her cheeks at the implications of Midoriko's words.
"I don't know what you mean," she managed to get out, the words thin.
"You do," Midoriko said simply. "Very well, I imagine. And I have decided I have no further desire to know what happened between you and Amaterasu-sama. That business is yours and no one else's, save perhaps his. But I will allow myself this much: I intend to do everything in my power to see that that bond is not broken, and I would urge you to do the same."
"I…there's no way I could…" Kagome fumbled, so taken aback that she could not manage further denial. "I mean, he and I…there's no way at all…"
"I have always wished to help you, to atone for the mistake that brought you to me in the first place," Midoriko spoke as if she had not heard her, a light growing in her dark eyes that Kagome had never seen there before. "It was not until I saw that thread that I truly understood. In you the kami have not given me a punishment for my weakness. You are not my burden to shoulder."
"You are a gift that has been presented to me, should I have the sight to see it. You are my chance to bring about a fate that was once offered to me, but that I was too frightened to take hold of."
Kagome frowned. Midoriko smiled faintly.
"I once mentioned to you the man who created the statue of Amaterasu-sama," she said. "Perhaps if I were to finish that tale then you would come to understand."
She folded her hands, gaze dropping to her lap.
"His name was Akio," she spoke softly. "He was the product of an illicit relationship between the headman of a minor clan and a woman from the village bordering his lands. Under ordinary circumstances he would simply have been left in the village to be raised, but as he grew older he proved to have great skill as an artisan. His father made the decision to take him from his mother and bring him into the court, in the hopes that his skills would prove a point of prestige for him."
"They did. Akio produced a great number of works at the Tennō's request, all of them vastly superior to much of what the artisans of the court could produce. He was a quiet man by nature, often lost in thought. The works he produced were widely admired, but between the circumstances of his birth and his reserved nature he never gained himself many close friends within the court."
"He came often to the Chūwain, though, as works featuring the kami were his favorite subject matter. I was still in training when first we met, and our paths often crossed here. He was kind enough when we met, but it always seemed that his mind was partly elsewhere. I think I took far more notice of him than he did of me."
"Until he began the statue of Amaterasu-sama, that is. I found myself enthralled by it from the moment he began its creation. For me it had a feeling of destiny about it, somehow. I began asking him about it, watching him as he worked. He seemed to share my same feeling about its significance and suddenly I found that he was opening up to me, sharing things about himself that I was certain he had never told another living soul. Before I realized it we had become close friends."
Midoriko paused, frowning faintly. She shook her head, eyes fixed on her hands.
"No, not friends. It is strange. Even now I try to deny what I struggled against so stubbornly back then. Before I realized it, we…we were very much in love. But our association earned me a great deal of censure within the court. My cousins in my clan, even my spiritual teachers grew cold towards me. One even went so far as to tell me that I would never see any advancement should I continue to be so public with the association."
"I was yet very young. A part of me had always acknowledged that Akio and I were different in a great number of ways, not the least of which were the circumstances of his birth. He was a wonderful man, but…some small part of me had always accepted without question that he was my inferior. When the courtiers began to treat me so coldly, it served to bring this back to the forefront of my thoughts."
"Suddenly I found that he was a threat to my chosen path and to the life I had lived so comfortably in the court. I began to pull away from him, though nearly every feeling in me rebelled. He was too perceptive a man not to notice the shift in my manner. He..."
Midoriko's voice faltered. Her hands flexed once in her lap, her knuckles going white for a moment. There were several beats of silence before she could speak again.
"Without saying as much, he made it obvious that he wished to marry me," she said, so softly Kagome barely caught the words. "I panicked. It seemed as if my whole future were going to pieces. Everything I had been so certain of my entire life was being snatched away. I distanced myself. I made it obvious that I had no intention of becoming his bride."
"By that time the statue of Amaterasu-sama was long since finished. Akio had no pretence left to continue returning to Chūwain regularly, and as soon as I made my response apparent he simply stopped coming. I cannot say that I do not understand why. We had grown so close, he must have been shocked when I rebuffed him so abruptly."
"Years passed and distance grew up between us. I was given the title of O-Miko, as I had always thought that I wanted. And then the throne war began. Akio was one among the many who lost their lives. I was the one who performed the final rites for him. I can still recall…"
Her voice petered out. A faint tremble went through her frame. Kagome sat silent, transfixed. She wanted to reach out to the woman, to try and offer her some comfort, but somehow she could not make herself move.
"I can still recall standing before the funeral pyre," Midoriko resumed, her voice steady but somehow hollow. "And knowing in that moment what a terrible mistake I had made. In the flames I could see our life as it would have been, the happiness of knowing that I was never alone. I could see our children as they played and a life together that, though more humble than what I was accustomed to, was nonetheless full of everything worth wanting in this world."
"I knew that if I lived to be one hundred there would never be another such one for me. I had thought that our positions in the world were too far apart for a marriage to make sense. But he had been given to me, and I had been too much of a fool to take a gift that was offered. To this day, there has never been another that I could even have considered."
At last Midoriko looked up at her. A sheen of tears brightened her eyes, but there was a faint smile hovering at the edges of her lips. Kagome blinked at her, shaking her head slowly.
"I'm sorry," she said, her voice cracking faintly. "I'm so sorry for you, Midoriko-sama. For what happened to Akio-sama. But you must know…surely you must see that I am different. This is different."
"Is it?" Midoriko returned. "Perhaps on the surface. But I am not so young as I once was, nor am I such a fool still as to miss the threads of fate as they are spun before my eyes. I cannot tell you which path to take, but I will stand behind you should you chose the more difficult one."
There was such unwavering conviction in the older woman's face that Kagome's next protest stuck in her throat.
She did not want to think about this. She did not want to hear it mentioned aloud or to know that her feelings might be so obvious to others. She did not want to face this.
Kagome stood abruptly, feeling panic beginning to well within her.
"I need to go," she said.
Midoriko looked up at her, nodding after a moment.
"I understand," she said. "Perhaps another time."
Kagome gave a small nod, experiencing a flash of remorse at her brusqueness after what the woman had just shared with her. Still, she was in no state to deal with such a conversation at the moment.
She bowed before setting off, exiting the Chūwain as quickly as she could without breaking into a run and forgetting in her haste even her guards.
She was moving so quickly that she nearly collided with the figure standing not far outside of the left wing of the temple.
The woman spun to face her, and Kagome caught a glimpse of eyes wide with shock and some fear. She stumbled back, an apology springing to her lips.
It died where it was as she realized with whom she was face to face. Once more Taira Kagura stood before her and before the Chūwain, unable to quite school her features into their usual scowl.
Kagome frowned, eyeing the woman.
"Is there something you need from here, Kagura-sama?" she asked. "You were here yesterday, as well. Perhaps there is something you are looking for?"
She was shocked to see a faint flush color the youkai's cheeks. Her eyes flared.
"You must be mistaken, Miko-sama," she snapped. "I am simply out for a walk. Am I now not allowed to walk where I please?"
Her eyes shifted back towards the building for an instant, an involuntary movement. For a moment something flashed across her face.
With a jolt Kagome recognized what it was.
"It's him," she said. "You want to see him."
Kagura's eyes widened, her color deepening. If she were the type of woman to flee, Kagome was certain she would have fled then. She took a half step back, but held her ground.
"I don't-"
"You do," Kagome cut her short. "You know exactly what I mean. I know it."
She knew it because the expression was so familiar. Because she had worn it herself so often and so hopelessly. Because mere moments ago she had seen the echoes of it written clear across the face of her mentor.
Kagura shut her mouth, setting her jaw as if for a fight. She met Kagome's eyes, the red in them fairly blazing.
"And what?" she said at last, the faintness of her voice undermining the challenge in it. "You have what you wanted, do you not? How will you make use of it, caged bird?"
Kagome eyed her for a moment before shaking her head.
"You want to see him, don't you?" she found herself saying. "Just staring at the building must be miserable. Come on."
She stepped forward toward the barrier, but Kagura did not budge. If anything her expression hardened further.
"You're more conniving than I gave you credit for," she hissed. "You let me see him and then what? I will be in your debt. What price will you exact for this kindness?"
"No price," Kagome replied. "I don't want anything. I just...I know how you feel, is all. I know how you feel too well to do nothing."
Kagura's expression eased slowly into an incredulous frown.
"…You do, don't you?" she murmured.
The youkai eyed her for a long moment, gaze flicking at last to the left wing.
"What, then?" she asked. "You allow me in and leave us, hmmm?"
"Not hardly," Kagome said. "Perhaps this makes me a fool, but I am not so much of a fool as to leave you unattended."
There was a beat of silence.
"Fair enough," she murmured.
Kagome nodded, taking that as an acquiescence. She stepped forward, raising her hand towards the barrier. Kagura stepped up quietly behind her. Kagome felt her youki brush along her spiritual sense like a small spark. She felt a flash of apprehension, the hairs along the nape of her neck standing on end.
This was insane. It made no sense.
She opened the barrier.
Kagura stepped through behind her and she closed it off behind them.
It seemed like only a matter of steps before they were at Sesshoumaru's chamber, Kagura's lips pursing as she eyed the shoji.
"I will wait out here," Kagome said after the silence had stretched for several moments.
"Yes," Kagura said, though she made no move forward.
After several more moments of silence, she slid the shoji open and swiftly closed behind her.
Kagome looked after her, uncertainty rising sharply. Should she go in after her? Listen in on what was being said? Both of them had proven themselves to be Inuyasha's enemies in no uncertain terms. For all she knew this was some ploy on Kagura's part to release the daiyoukai now that he had recovered enough strength to challenge his brother once more.
But she could still recall the look in Kagura's eyes. Not the look of a conniving courtier or a person bent on ill. In her look she had simply seen a person who wanted nothing more than to see the one they cared for.
Kagome moved away from the shoji, deciding that she would not wish to have someone listening in on her in similar circumstances. She would stay close enough should anything happen, but she would try not to intrude if it was not necessary. At least the two of them were trapped within the barrier should anything go awry.
A stretch passed in which Kagome could not catch a single sound from beyond the shoji nor feel any rise in the youki of its two occupants. Whatever passed in that room, it was not for her to know.
Abruptly the shoji clattered back on its hinges. Kagura emerged, sliding the shoji closed once more so quickly that Kagome caught only the briefest glimpse of the daiyoukai housed inside. He stood facing the door, golden eyes sharp.
"Let us go," Kagura said, sweeping past her without so much as a glance.
Kagome blinked, following in her wake after a moment. Kagura awaited her at the barrier, carefully avoiding looking in her direction. Kagome opened the barrier with a wave, allowing them through and closing it behind them with less trouble than she should have ever hoped for considering what a risk she had just undertaken.
Kagome stood for several long moments, uncertain what to do with herself after such an unlikely occurrence. Kagura did not move, either, simply standing at her side with her eyes fixed out on the sprawl of the court below them.
"You are a fool," the youkai murmured lowly.
"That makes two of us, then."
The youkai glanced at her from the corner of her eye, a crooked smile tugging faintly at the corner of her lips. It faded.
"I always pay my debts," she said.
Kagome frowned, opening her mouth to protest.
"I am well aware that that was not your intention," Kagura snapped, holding up a hand to forestall her. "Whatever thoughts, for lack of a more accurate term, might have been flitting around in your head, they do not concern me. I have decided. This is my decision."
The air of finality with which she spoke the latter struck Kagome as odd. Her next words scattered that thought to the wind, though.
"You have one day to decide what it is that you want from me," she said. "I will place no restrictions on it. I will find you when it is time. Choose carefully."
A gale rose from nowhere, tugging at Kagome's robes and pushing her forward a few stumbling steps with the force of it. When the wind had settled enough for her to see clearly, Kagura was gone.
Kagome blinked, standing uncertainly for several long moments. Slowly a feeling of satisfaction bloomed inside her chest.
She had had no thought of repayment when leading Kagura through the barrier. She had seen too much of herself, of her mentor, in Kagura's eyes to ignore it, whatever the circumstances. It could not be her, but perhaps someone else could snatch a moment of happiness.
And through it the kami had placed in her lap exactly what she had needed. She was not yet wise enough to see the threads being woven as Midoriko-sama could, but she could feel the faint tug.
Turning, she followed the pull in her shoulder wherever it might lead her.
Kagome approached the man tentatively. It was a rare thing to see him look quite so defeated, though she had some inkling of what might have gotten him into such a state.
Before she could make any sort of gesture to gain his attention, though, he turned his head slightly. The wry quirk to the corner of his lips told her he had known she was there.
"You're a crappy sneaker," he said without real venom.
"I can't say that it was ever one of my aspirations in life," she attempted lightly, moving the few steps forward that took her to his side.
She did not sit. She would not sit unless he invited her.
The tug had pulled her right to his temporary residence, though thankfully this time she had had the presence of mind to gather her guard before departing the Chūwain. She had been both surprised and not at all surprised to find herself there, asking her guard to remain at the entryway to the residence to allow her a moment.
She did experience a small twinge of guilt at the thought that she was breaking her word to Inuyasha, but she could hardly imagine having this sort of conversation in his presence. He did not like the wolf to begin with, and something like this would certainly not help matters. It was best if he never learned about any of what had passed between them.
"I figured you would come around sooner or later," he said, drawing her back into the present. "I kinda hoped it would be later."
Kagome bit her lip, swallowing the slight sting of the words. They were well deserved.
"I understand," she said softly. "Would you like me to leave?"
Surprisingly he shook his head.
"No," he said. "If anything you're gonna say can get me out of this court quicker, then I'd rather get it all out now. I don't wanna waste any more time here than I have to."
Kagome nodded.
"It was very, very good of you to come," she said quietly.
Kouga glanced at her fully for a moment before his gaze slid away once more. A faint flush colored his cheeks.
"Just because we didn't…" he began, then halted as if choking on the words. "Just because things don't go the way you want doesn't mean you get to be a shithead and forget about all your promises. I gave you my word. My clan and I will be sticking to it."
She still had his support, then. And, by extension, some of the other youkai clans outside of the court. She was relieved to hear it, though at the moment the feeling was clouded by guilt. It was hard not to feel as if she had cheated him in some way.
"I cannot tell you how grateful I am to you for that," Kagome said at last, unable to muster anything better.
"It's fine," Kouga said with a shrug that was a little too sharp. "Now ask whatever the hell it is you were planning on asking. The sooner we finish with this the sooner I'm back with the people who actually need me around."
"I just need to know what exactly Ayame-sama told you," Kagome said, more than willing to turn her mind towards less sensitive subject matter to start with. "As close to word for word as you can give me, Kouga-sama. The more details I have the better I can judge what exactly the Taira might be attempting to do."
"She said…" Kouga began, pausing for a long moment to recall the words. "She said the clan head has been agitated lately. That he has been stirring up the clan, always talking about how the mutt is trying to turn the court into a place for half-breeds and humans. She said he's always been strange since he was young, that he's always had an odd scent to him, but that she never thought he would risk his own clan to get rid of the mutt."
"Lately, though, she said it seems like he's been planning something big, and she was afraid to be around in case he actually went through with it. She's not nuts like the rest of them. I mean, she's nuts, but not like that."
"And Ayame-sama had no idea exactly what the clan head might have in mind?" Kagome pressed.
Kouga shook his head.
"She said it's a pretty small group that makes the decisions for the clan, and they've always been secretive until it's time to put things into action," he said. "Crappy leaders, that's what. No one respects a pack leader that pulls shit like that. That's why Ayame had to leave."
"And she felt sure enough of you to seek you out?" Kagome asked.
The color in his face deepened for an instant. He shrugged.
"I dunno," he said brusquely. "I guess. She was always following me around when I was here before, bugging me to know what pack life is like. Wolves don't do well outside of a pack. She was probably just lonely and wanted her own kind."
His look softened. Kagome observed it, wondering exactly how close he had grown with the Taira woman since she had come to him.
"Did Ayame-sama ask you to come inform the Tennō-sama of any of this?" she asked.
"No," Kouga replied, frowning slightly. "No. She begged me not to come back here. She thought I might get caught up in the mess or that they might manage to figure out where she was hiding through me. I promised her that I wouldn't say a word to anyone but you and the mutt. I had to come, though."
If she had begged him not to come, then the chances were slim that the information was being used as a distraction. Unless she had known that Kouga would come to her with the information regardless of what she said to him. That, however, would be more than a bit of an uncertain venture to put all of this work behind.
"Is that all you needed?" Kouga asked, rising when her silence grew protracted.
He moved as if to go and Kagome reached out, stopping herself just short of touching him. He paused nonetheless as if he could sense her hand hovering just over his back.
"I know you probably don't want to hear this," Kagome said, her hand falling back to her side. "But if you're going to leave, I need to say it at least once before you go. I need you to know how sorry I am for the way things turned out between us. I handled everything so poorly, and if I could change things-"
"You would what, Kagome?" Kouga cut in, an acrid edge to his voice. "You'd make yourself love me? Mate with me? Have cubs with me? You already tried that, remember? It didn't work out."
He started forward towards the porch of the residence. Kagome bit her lip hard.
"You would have made a great mate and father," she called after him, unwilling to leave things on such an awful note. "I know it. Now you just need to find someone who actually deserves you."
Kouga paused, turning part way to face her.
"You deserve me," he said lowly, his eyes dark. "You just don't want me."
Kagome's heart constricted.
"It's not that simple," she protested weakly. "I wanted it to be you."
"Why?" Kouga retorted. "Because it would be easier for you? Too fucking bad. Even I know that's not how things work."
Kagome flinched. Kouga's glare softened. He turned fully, taking a step back towards her.
"You didn't feel anything, did you?" he asked. "When I kissed you or touched you. It was just me wanting to believe you did. Or you would. Or something. But life's not easy like that, not for anyone. And it wouldn't be worth shit if it was. I wanted you. I'm probably always gonna want you at least a little. And that's shitty, but it's how it is. You don't get an easy out and I don't either. So save the apologies and just let me work it out on my own."
He reached out a hand, tentatively touching her cheek in a way that negated some of the roughness of his words.
"This ain't gonna destroy me, Kagome," he said lowly. "I love you, but-"
"Hands off. Now."
The low voice sent a thrill of pure terror through her. Her gaze jumped to the shoji that led out onto the porch.
Inuyasha stood in the opening there, holding the edge of the shoji so tightly that she could see the wood of the frame splintering in his grip. The look on his face made her feel as if she had had the breath knocked from her lungs.
Before either she or Kouga could move, Kagome felt herself being yanked back from the wolf. In another instant she was nearly slung over the hanyou's shoulder, and in one bound they were over the wall of the residence. Kouga was completely out of sight in a matter of mere moments.
It took the space of several moments for Kagome to gather enough of her wits to realize what was going on. She tried to push herself somewhat upright, aware that they were in the streets of the court and she was slung over his shoulder like a sack of cheap goods.
"Inuyasha-"
"Shut up," he snarled, lowly enough that she froze. "Not a fucking word."
She fell silent, her skin turning to ice at his tone. She had no idea how much he had seen or heard, but she knew enough to know that this was not his usual irritation. Her stomach churned at the thought of the conversation that was to come as soon as he arrived wherever they were headed.
A small mercy was that night had fallen while she was with Kouga, meaning that their figures were scarcely visible in the darkened streets at the speed Inuyasha was moving. Another small mercy was that he had the decency at least to put her down as they came to the walkway where the guards stood before his chambers, though he fairly pushed her to walk ahead of him. The guards said not a word as they crossed the threshold, and she fleetingly wondered if her own guard that had been left behind at Kouga's residence would be informed of where she was.
His chambers were nearly pitch black as he had not lit the lanterns before he had set out. Kagome was almost grateful for it. It was too dark for her to be able to look him in the face.
Silence stretched between them until Kagome thought she might go insane. She could feel the hanyou looming not far behind her.
"What…" Inuyasha managed at last. "In the seven hells was he talking about?"
Kagome bit her lip, her eyes sliding closed. The moment of truth had come at last.
"Kouga-sama…he…he joined up with us for some time while we were travelling outside of the court. He was helping us to gain the support of the youkai clans."
"…He was with you," Inuyasha said lowly. "He was with you and you didn't say a fucking word about it to me."
"It wasn't like that," Kagome said. "You don't understand-!"
"What don't I understand?!" Inuyasha yelled, his eyes flashing suddenly before her in the darkness.
Kagome gasped, stumbling back. The eyes and the shadow attached to them pursued her, pressing her back into a corner.
"Do I not understand that you lied to me?" he snarled. "Do I not understand that he's touched you? Kissed you? What else don't I understand, Kagome?!"
Kagome found herself frozen in the face of this tirade, unable to respond when faced with what it must look like to him. She blinked at him in the darkness, shaking her head slightly.
"Did you want to be with him?" Inuyasha asked lowly, his eyes piercing hers in the darkness. "Do you want to be with him?"
Kagome met his gaze, surprised to see something like fear lurking just behind the rage that was bright there.
"…I came back, didn't I?" she managed softly after a moment.
Inuyasha's eyes searched her own for a long moment. He shook his head hard.
"I won't let that fucking bastard have you," he said. "Not him, not Sesshoumaru, and not that fucking guard. No one. Too much…too much gets taken. They don't get to take you."
Kagome opened her mouth to correct him, to assure him that she had no intention of going anywhere.
His lips closing over hers prevented that.
Kagome blinked, her mind unable to process anything beyond the instantaneous warmth that shot through her. A faint choking sound escaped her.
After a moment the pressure on her lips increased, a hint of desperation in the insistent press. Kagome's heart was hammering in her ears, the sound drowning out everything else and adding to the surreal quality of the moment.
This wasn't happening. There was no way this was actually happening. Something like this couldn't happen. There were a thousand reasons that-
Two things happened at once. His hand slid tentatively through the hair at the nape of her neck, tangling there and cradling her head. His eyes also slid open, meeting hers with a warmth and a need deeper than anything she had ever seen before in him.
Everything slipped out of her mind like water through a sieve. Her eyes slid shut, her lips pressing against his in turn. One of her hands slid up to clutch at the fabric of his haori, searching for some sort of anchor against the wash of sensation that swept through her.
She could hear something like a low sigh, almost a growl, pass through him as he pressed his frame more closely to hers. He was all lean muscle and tethered strength, fitting neatly against the slightness of her own frame.
His free hand slid to her side, wrapping around the smallest part of her waist. His lips worked against hers fervently if a bit uncertainly, drawing her to press up against him as a lick of heat curled through her stomach. A faint sound issued from her before she could think to stop it. Her free hand slid up, seeking out the first bit of warm skin she could find at the collar of his haori.
Inuyasha groaned lowly in his throat, the sound reverberating through her. His hips shifted against hers, rocking faintly. She felt again the hard press of him there that she had felt on that morning. This time, however, she embraced the sensation, shifting her own hips.
Reason crept like black tendrils along the back of her mind. This was wrong. If this kept going…
But why shouldn't it keep going? If she didn't have long…after all she had had to endure thus far…if they could never be together, why couldn't she have just this little piece of him? He needed her, and it was beyond her strength or desire to deny him.
Her thoughts scattered once more as she found herself lifted. Inuyasha hefted her as if she weighed no more than a feather, bringing her to his futon tucked away in the corner of the room and pushing past the gauzy overhang that shielded it from plain sight. He laid her down there, his body coming to rest with pleasant substantiality above her own.
Even in the dim light of the room she could tell that he was breathing just a little bit too hard. She could feel the slight tremor that ran through the arms on either side of her head. Apparently he could see her well enough in the dark, too, as he hesitated.
"I can't…" he panted, voice hoarse. "You have to…"
Somehow Kagome understood the words that he could not quite manage. If she wanted to stop this, it had to be now. She had to tell him now if she was uncertain.
And she was uncertain. So very uncertain about almost everything. Both of their futures hung by fraying threads.
But looking up at him, she wasn't scared. Not even a little bit. She wanted this little piece of him. She wanted this memory to hold on to, to make whatever might come after worth it. And if he needed her for some reason, whatever the reason might be, then that was enough.
She leaned up, just enough to press a kiss to the hollow between his neck and shoulder where his haori had begun to loosen. A shudder ran through him and he groaned out some low words that she decided she was better off not understanding.
Then his lips were on hers once more and she was done thinking. She could feel the slight sting of elongated incisors along her lower lip, sending a thrill along the length of her spine. She squirmed slightly, adjusting her legs until his lower body rested neatly within the cradle of her hips. His hips flexed against hers tentatively and she gasped against his mouth at the jolt of sensation the small move elicited.
His lips left hers, moving to her jaw line to press kisses that were endearing in their clumsy haste. Her hands sought out the warmth of his skin as his lips began to skim the line of her throat, resting at the nape of his neck and skimming just along the inside of the neck of his haori. His hips flexed harder against hers at the sensation of her blunted nails ghosting along the flesh of his back, a soft curse escaping him.
His lips reached the neckline of her robes and he glanced up at her, their gazes connecting instantly in the dark of the room. One hand slid up the length of her side, pulling loose the fabric where it was tucked into the waist of her hakama.
The fabric slid loose and he pushed it open, gaze sliding down to the skin that was revealed. Her chest bindings still hid most of her from his gaze, but the pale curve of her waist and the faint shadows of her ribs were visible in the darkness. Inuyasha laid a hand there almost reverently, the calloused warmth of his palm sending a small tremor through her.
His eyes flashed up to hers once more at the small movement. She met his gaze with her own heavy lidded one and he leaned in hurriedly as if he could not kiss her quickly enough. As she lifted her head to meet his lips, she felt his hand ghost the length of her stomach and up over the bindings on her chest.
With a vague pang of surprise she felt her bindings fall open, realizing with some small semblance of coherence that his claws had made short work of them. She could feel her nipples harden as they were exposed to the cool air of the room, the feeling sharpening as his robes brushed across her chest.
The inequity of the situation struck her and she pushed more insistently at the neckline of his haori. Inuyasha paused, disentangling himself from her just enough to give her an uncertain look.
"You, too," she murmured, pushing again at the haori.
He blinked down at her, eyes trailing the length of her as if he were seeing her for the first time. She was bare to his gaze from the waist up and Kagome had to fight the urge to cover herself, wondering for the first time in a long time if her body was at all appealing. She was thin to the point of perhaps being considered scrawny, and her breasts were small at best. Perhaps he would-
Thought abandoned her once more as he shifted his hand to tentatively cup one breast, thumb resting just against her nipple. Her back arched instinctively, pressing herself further into his palm. He blinked down at her, eyes travelling from her face to the breast he cupped in a sort of disbelief. He swallowed, and she could see the dark of his pupil expand impossibly.
"Kagome," he rasped, "I-"
"Don't stop," she murmured, cutting him off.
She rocked her hips against his own, partly for the thrill of the sensation and partly to move him from his inaction. She would not allow tonight to become a night of words and drawn out conversation.
Inuyasha grunted faintly, his head falling forward to the crook between her neck and shoulder. He murmured her name into the flesh there, hips jerking sharply against hers in response. She could not stifle a moan, working with hands that shook to loosen his haori and drag it down his shoulders to his waist. He assisted her, shifting awkwardly out of the fabric while still trying to keep as much contact with her skin as possible.
He palmed her breast more firmly, thumb sweeping over her nipple. Kagome squirmed, amazed at how quickly the sensation shot from her breast down to the growing slickness between her thighs. From the standpoint of a healer she had known for some time at least vaguely how things worked between a man and a woman. But she had never thought that that would be like this.
Inuyasha watched her face, thumb running over her nipple once more at the sight of her reaction. His other hand came to cup her neglected breast, teasing her nipple into a tight bud to match the other. Kagome leaned up eagerly to press her lips to his, feeling that if she did not do something the sensation would drive her out of her own head.
Inuyasha met her with equal fervor, lips slanting hard against hers. The weight of her breast in his hand, the warmth of her form writhing against his, the thought that this was even happening…
Kagome's hands tangled in his hair, pressing him as close as she could get him. The hard planes of his now bare chest pressed with delightful solidity against her breasts, sliding against her straining nipples. She shifted, hooking one of her legs over his hip so that almost the entirety of him was cradled against her. She could feel the rigid length of him pressed between her thighs and an almost dizzying thrill swept through her.
"I want you," she breathed, the words escaping her without thought.
Inuyasha's eyes snapped to hers, darkening.
She ground her hips against his, beyond even self-consciousness anymore. She wanted to be as close to him as she would ever get.
The hanyou's eyes fairly rolled back into his head at the motion. He gritted his teeth, struggling for a moment.
"Fuck, Kagome. This ain't gonna last very long if you keep that up," he murmured, resting his forehead against her collar bone.
The hand that had come to rest at the curve of her waist slid slowly down to the waistband of her hakama, hesitating for a handful of moments before pushing past it to her core. Kagome gasped, hips jerking up at even the slight contact.
"Please, Inuyasha."
"Shit," he murmured.
The next few moments were a flurry of motion as Kagome quickly found herself divested of her last shreds of clothing. Inuyasha barely bothered to push his own hakama down further on his hips before settling above her. She could feel him trembling as the thick head of his length came to rest against the slickness of her opening.
Kagome reached down between them, touching him with curious fingers. He cursed under his breath as she explored, surprised at the smooth firmness of him and the roundness of the tip. It was slightly slick at the tip, matching her own slickness, and she shifted her hips until the tip was pressed to her opening.
Inuyasha blinked down at her, disbelief and a feverish sort of joy written across his features. She was certain her own face must be something similar, a happiness blooming in her chest that was almost white hot.
For a moment, they were together.
"Kagome," he murmured, sliding forward.
She bit her lip, feeling more than a slight pinch as she was forced to stretch to accommodate him. Thankfully she was slick enough that it eased a good deal of the discomfort, though for several agonizing moments she was certain something in her might tear.
Inuyasha pushed on slowly, filling her bit by bit until there was nothing left but the deeply satisfying sensation of him inside of her. After several moments he stopped and she realized they were hip to hip, his shaft in her to the hilt. She could feel the head of him pressing against something deep inside of her, connecting them.
He looked down at her, his breathing shallow. He huffed out a breath, a lopsided smile slowly dawning across his face. Not a smirk or a sneer. A smile, like he had seldom allowed himself before.
"Kagome," he breathed, as if he needed to be certain.
Her heart twisted, and she was certain she loved him more in that moment than ever she had before.
She twisted her hips against his, ignoring the slight twinge of pain it caused her.
"Please," she pleaded, needing him not to look at her that way. "Please, Inuyasha."
She felt the length of him twitch inside her at the sound of his name. She said it again and he groaned as if it were the best thing he had ever heard.
Slowly he withdrew, the loss of that feeling of fullness like a blow. She whimpered, the sound turning into a sharp cry as he slid suddenly back into her. The thick tip of him hit that spot inside her with more force and she thought she might pass out. She cried out his name once more, prompting him to withdraw and push back into her with slightly more force.
Kagome wrapped her legs around his hips, deepening each push inside her. She could hear Inuyasha murmuring her name as if in prayer, lowly and repeatedly. As if it were the only word he could remember.
He thrust harder against her as she cried out, her muscles beginning to tighten and coil around him. She could feel the wetness along her thighs as he slid slickly inside her, pressing her hips hard back into the futon beneath her. She met his hips with hers when she could, forcing him deeper inside of her. Her hands clawed for some sort of purchase on his back.
"Inuyasha!"
"Again," he growled.
"Inuyasha, Inuyasha. Inuyasha!"
She was fairly sobbing in pleasure as he pushed against her, his movements growing frantic. Her inner muscles were wrapped tight around him.
His hips twisted, pushing in so deeply that he hit against the swollen nub concealed within her folds. Kagome cried out, that and the sensation of him pressing deep inside her shattering her into pieces. Her back arched, her inner muscles clamping down hard around him.
Inuyasha grunted, burying himself to the hilt once more as he spilled his seed into her. His hips jerked spasmodically against hers, pressing as deeply as he could go.
"Fuck! Kagome, Kagome, Kagome…"
Kagome felt warmth filling her, her muscles twitching. She pressed herself closely to him with her entire body, stretching out the blissful sensation for as long as she could.
Slowly she began to relax, the sharpness of the pleasure easing into an enveloping warmth that left her feeling as if she were floating. Inuyasha made no move to withdraw, eyes sliding open to meet hers as he panted above her. His face was faintly red from the strain, and she found herself grinning stupidly at the sight.
His eyes searched her face, uncertainty and incredulous joy dawning across his features.
"Are you…okay?" he managed to rasp after a moment. "Was it…?"
"Perfect," Kagome replied. "It was perfect, Inuyasha."
A small laugh escaped him, disbelief and happiness fighting for precedence in his face. His head came down to rest in the crook of her shoulder, his body pressing more closely to hers.
"Kagome," he muttered. "Kagome…I…this…I didn't mean to…Fuck. I just-I just want…"
"Shhh," Kagome soothed, stroking the back of his neck with her hand. "I know. I understand."
This had been a whim. A stray impulse, born of a moment of weakness and strain. Of course she knew, but she also knew that to hear him speak the words aloud now might destroy her.
Inuyasha shifted, tucking her closely to his side. For some time his hands continued to roam across her skin as they lay in the deepening darkness of the room, as if he could remember every line by feel alone. Kagome savored the sensation, committing every bit of it to memory.
When at last the hanyou settled into a peaceful sleep, she disentangled herself from his arms and dressed. She left his chambers without so much as a glance backwards, managing to put on a wooden smile and some semblance of her usual manner as she passed the guards, their blithe looks and bows telling her she was safe on at least that front.
Reaching her room in her residence at last, she dashed the tears away as they fell hotly down her cheeks.
She did not regret it. It would never happen again.
Phew. So there's chapter 29 for you. I hope you enjoyed it and I apologize for how long it took to get out. Who knew that having a full time job could be so…well, time consuming? Thank you all for your continued support and please look forward to chapter 30!
As always, if you have any questions or concerns feel free to PM me or leave them in a review.