Fran had just woken up but was still stretched out across Max. She watched him through her sleepy eyes as he stroked one of her legs and smiled at her.
"How long have I been out?" She asked him.
"About an hour, not too long," he responded.
"Ug! I didn't think I was that tired. Maybe it was that wonderful massage you gave me. That was like a tranquilizer!"
"I'm glad you enjoyed it. How are you feeling now?"
"Mmm… sleepy mostly. I had a weird dream I think. I think whatever was on the TV was in my dream or something. It was like I thought I was watching the TV and I wasn't asleep, but obviously that wasn't the case."
Max smiled. He looked back over her body under the blanket, and Fran noticed. She reached a hand out towards him and he took it, then looked into her eyes.
"What're you thinking about, baby?" She asked softly. Max cleared his throat and squeezed her hand.
"You. Just- everything. And looking at you here, under the blanket. It just makes me think of… sand dunes, or fresh snow on the hillsides. Like I want to just run my hands over you, but if you were sand or snow, that would mess up the beauty of it all."
Fran smiled. "But I'm not sand or snow, sweetie. You can run your hands over me anytime, you won't mess anything up." She squeezed his hand and rested it down on her hip, and left hers on top of it. He looked at their hands and stroked her hip with a thumb. "How are you doing, Max?"
"I don't know." He took a deep breath. "I guess I still worry. It was nice watching you sleep, but seeing how tired you got, I guess it just brings it all back, about why you probably got so tired. It bothers me that it takes all your energy like this. I'm used to you being so- so-" he was looking for the right word.
"Hyper?" Fran offered. Max chuckled.
"Yeah. Maybe. I guess I miss that. I want you to get better, to get back to being yourself."
"It'll happen Max. I know it will. Every day we get closer to that. You know? And I know this surgery is coming up fast, in a way, but in a way, I'm glad. I want to be back to being myself, too. I'm trying not to think about it too much, so it doesn't get me stressed or anything, but I do need to make sure I have the time to process it all. I think I'm trying to push off the thinking until that appointment on Friday. I think that it would be better to maybe just set aside that time for the stress and worry, because at least then we can ask questions. Get some answers. You know?" She started trying to push herself up to sit up, and pulled her legs off of Max's lap. She moved the blanket and sat next to him, and wrapped her arms around his neck.
"Maybe that's a good idea. Maybe we should just have a nice time right now, even if you happen to get tired and need to rest. And not let ourselves worry about why you might be tired. We have Friday morning to address everything. I'd like to let myself enjoy looking at you- to appreciate you this way. But that anxiety I have- I guess it does keep coming back. And maybe I feel guilty if I try to feel some pleasure or enjoyment with you, when you're going through all of this. It feels- it feels like maybe it's wrong of me. Like last night- I really want to be with you and show you how much I love you, but I can't help feeling like maybe I'm being selfish. And then, of course, I start thinking about the what-ifs. What if we did too much, you know? If something happened with that tumor because of something we did… something I did…" his voice trailed off. Fran hugged him and stroked his hair. He ran his hands over her back, then wrapped them firmly around her. She knew what he meant. She thought about it, too.
She kissed his cheek and leaned back to look at him. "I think about that, too, Max. I know what you mean. But then I also know that we can't know the future, and if anything did happen- I just know I would regret not being with you, and showing you how much I love you. But I don't want you having that anxiety about me- worrying you might do something that might hurt me or cause a problem with the tumor. I'm not going to push you to be with me, okay? But I do want to be with you, and if we're careful, and take it easy, the doctor said it should be fine. Remember? And if it still worries you, we don't have to sleep together. There are other things we can do to make each other feel good, you know."
Max buried his face in her neck and kissed it. "Yes. I do. And I like that, too. I want to make you feel good. And it's just temporary, too. I keep trying to remind myself of that. Now maybe we can work on more ways to be intimate. To just focus on each other. Just to be a little safer. And maybe not use up too much of your energy right now."
"I understand, and I'd be okay with that. We can just take things a step at a time, alright? And see how we both feel."
"Alright. And tonight, darling, I'd really like to focus on you. I don't want you to worry at all about me, about making me feel good. Tonight is all for you. Will you let me do that for you?"
"Aw, baby, of course I will. If it means you'll have your hands all over me, I'd love that!"
"My hands, and my lips. And my tongue, too…" he smiled, and then kissed her.
"Mmmm! That sounds wonderful! But you know you don't have to do all that. It'll be hard to keep my hands off of you. Really hard. But thinking about everything you might do to me… I wish we could go upstairs right now!"
Max laughed and stroked her back. She leaned her forehead against his. "I love you so much, my darling," he whispered. "I do worry about you, but I'd like to try to alleviate some of that. You know, just make all of our time together the best it can be."
"It will be, honey. It is." She stroked his cheek and smiled at him. She reached over to the coffee table for her water and chugged some down. "Hey, sweetie? I need to run to the little girls' room a minute. Do you mind?" She slipped on her fuzzy slippers.
"Of course not, darling. I'll go refill our glasses. You need anything else?"
"No, I filled up pretty good before my nap, but thank you." They both got up from the couch and Max picked up the blanket to fold it. "I'll be right back, sweetie. I'll take those pillow things upstairs with me, too."
"All right, darling. Take your time and don't run on those stairs, alright? If I'm not in here when you come back down, I'll probably be in the kitchen."
"Okay. Back in a minute or two." Fran squeezed his hand and headed for the stairs, picking up the bag that contained the supportive pillows they had picked up at the shop on her way. Max turned off the TV and picked up their water glasses, and headed for the kitchen.
He pushed his way backwards through the door into the kitchen and found the girls at the kitchen table and Niles reading through a cookbook as he sat at the counter.
"Hello girls! Homework going well?" He asked.
"Pretty good. Where's Fran?" Maggie asked.
"She's upstairs, she'll be down in a minute," he replied.
"Oh, sir, Brighton is home now. He's gone upstairs to prepare things for you both to look at."
"Oh, good!"
"Daddy, thank you for the zen garden. I like it!" Gracie said, as she dragged the rake in a circle through the sand.
"You're very welcome! Fran thought you children might like it."
"Daddy?" Maggie said, turning to look over at him as he went to the refrigerator to retrieve a bottle of water. "Is Fran okay? How come she was sleeping?"
"Oh- well, that kind of thing can happen. She can get tired. She's fine, no fever or anything. We were out for a little while, and that may have just been all she could do for today. But I think the nap helped her, she seems good now."
"Oh, that's good, I guess. I was a little worried she might not be feeling good or something."
Max came over to her and squeezed her shoulder. "It's hard not to worry about her, but let's just hope that once she has the surgery, that she won't have to deal with things like this anymore. It's hard to see her not acting like herself. She's always so full of energy, and to see her not be able to be that way is hard." Everyone got quiet as they thought about her. Gracie zig-zagged the rake through the sand and then began meticulously dragging the rake along the edges of the tray, making smaller and smaller rectangles as she worked her way to the center.
"I need to find out what magazines she might want for when she's in the hospital, and after. I bet she'll go through a ton of them."
Max chuckled. "Yeah." He took a sip of his glass of water. "Oh, Niles, we need to clear out a few things from the bedroom, there will be a delivery tomorrow afternoon of a chair I got for Fran. We were in that Sharper Image store and she took a real liking to the big massage chair they had there, so we ordered one. It even has these calf massagers on it! She really liked those. I thought that might be a good thing to help her with her recovery, so she doesn't have to sit in bed all day, and if she can't exercise like normal, that maybe she can at least get her muscles massaged if she needs it. It should hopefully help her feel good."
"Oh, yes! Yes, if you need me to help you move some furniture out, I can absolutely do that," Niles said. "That might be a good place for her to eat meals, too. Then she can sit up comfortably. That was a nice thing to do for her."
"Well, I have to admit, it's not a hundred percent for her. I tried one out and it really was quite nice. After she's recovered, we might be fighting over who gets to use it."
Gracie looked up at him and smiled. "I want to try it!"
Max laughed. "We might let you try it out, as long as Fran doesn't need it. She likes the calf massagers. They squeeze your calves and work their way up and down."
"Oh, man, that sounds awesome!" Maggie said. "You might end up having to get everybody one, daddy!" They all laughed.
"Oh, I should tell you all- when Fran and I were out earlier we found a store that had some of those supportive pillows that might be helpful for Fran when she comes back home. We got several of them, so hopefully that's enough." Everyone got quiet again as they remembered Fran's situation. "It's alright, you all. I don't think she'll need them too much. But it's better to be prepared, so we can make her as comfortable as possible. I have a feeling she'll want to be in that massage chair as much as she can be. It might not be so comfortable to be propped up on the bed all the time."
"Daddy?" Grace put down the little rake from the zen garden on the table.
"Yes, sweetheart?"
"When Fran's in the hospital, will we be able to come see her?" Maggie looked from Gracie to her father, wondering what his answer would be, too.
"Well, darling, I'm not sure how long she'll have to be there. But if she's only there one night, then it might not be a good idea. She'll need a lot of rest after the surgery, and in case the doctors need to talk to us about anything, it might not be good to have a lot of people there. We're not sure if they'll have restrictions on visitors either."
"Oh. But what if she has to stay more than one night?"
"I'm not sure, Gracie. I might not be able to give you an answer on that until we're there. I'm sorry. But maybe, if you all aren't able to be there with her- maybe we can do a phone call or something, so you can at least talk to her. Would that be alright?"
"I guess so. Yeah. I mean, I'd rather see her, but if we can't, then yeah, maybe talking on the phone would be okay." Max walked around the table to her and put his hands on her shoulders. She leaned her head on one of his hands.
Just then, Fran came down the back stairs in her fuzzy slippers and everyone turned to smile at her.
"Hello girls! I'm awake now. Sorry I missed you when you got home. I blame your daddy, he was squeezing my calves and it was like the best tranquilizer!"
"Daddy told us about the new chair you're getting. I can't wait to see it!" Maggie said.
"Oh my gosh, Mags! It's so amazing! I may be living in it for a while!" Fran stepped over beside Max and Gracie and put her arm around Max's waist. Max draped his arm over her shoulders and they smiled at each other.
"Brighton still upstairs?" Max asked her.
"Yeah, I think so. His bedroom door is shut. I can't wait to see those pictures! I wish he'd hurry, but I know he's probably trying to make a nice presentation for us."
"Probably. I'm sure it will be good."
"So Gracie, you like that zen garden?" Fran asked.
"Yes! It's nice. It is pretty relaxing, and I like this little rake."
"Aw, I'm glad! That's exactly what it's supposed to do. You guys can share that, if you're bored or something, or just need to keep your hands busy. Do you have to do review, Gracie?"
"Yeah, but it's not much. We already went over it at school."
"Well, then, why don't you get going on it now and see how much you can get done. Do you want to change out of your uniform before dinner?"
"I guess I could. But Fran? Can we read together later?"
"Maybe. How much do you want to read?"
"Maybe just one chapter, but we don't have to read all of it together, it might be kind of long."
"Well, if it's long, then you should get busy on whatever else you have and see if you can finish it before dinner."
"Okay. I'll run and get changed real quick." She scooted out her chair and hurried up the back stairs from the kitchen to her room to get changed.
"How about you, Mags? How are your classes going?"
"Pretty good, I guess. It's still pretty early in the semester, so nothing major right now. Lots of lectures and notes and reading and highlighting. Just getting those books at the library saturday, then I'll have to read through them after that."
"That's good, I guess. Is it a lot of reading?"
"It's not bad, I can get a lot done between classes, then finish whatever is left here. I'll try to get a little bit ahead when I can, but it doesn't help me too much to go too far. But things are going pretty good."
"That's good. I'm sorry I haven't been much help with all that lately, even if you didn't really need help."
"It's okay, Fran. And I know I've been gone a lot, too. I kind of wish I had been here more and could have talked to you about everything. I mean, I think I knew something might be going on, but I didn't want to pry. But I'm glad everything's being dealt with now. We just need to get you better so we can have fun going through all the bridal magazines and everything!"
"Yeah! That'll be so much fun! Oh, I can't wait!"
"Speaking of which- can you start writing down some magazines you might want? That way I can check what the bookstore has, and maybe stop by a newsstand too, or another bookstore. And if there might be a book or anything you might want, like wedding planning or something like that."
"Oh! Yes, absolutely. Basically, anything and everything, but I'll try to remember all the names of the magazines. Oh! I can't wait! It's gonna be so much fun!" Fran clutched her hands together and everyone smiled, including Niles. "Oh, Mags! There's a big bridal expo in two weeks. Your father let me get tickets for it. Now I only have four tickets, but depending on how many people really want to go to it, maybe we can get more if we need to," she elbowed Max and he grinned.
"A bridal expo? In two weeks? But will you be able to?" Maggie asked.
"I should be, but your daddy is making me use a wheelchair to get around. But if for any reason I can't go, then you absolutely have to go in my place, okay?"
"No problem! But you'll be able to go, and you're gonna have so much fun!" Maggie smiled, and Fran squeezed her hand.
Niles got up and headed for the fridge to take out some things to prep for their dinner. He was anxious to get his Southern seafood boil started.
They heard a crinkling sound at the top of the back stairs and Fran and Max turned to look. Brighton was timidly coming down the back stairs, carrying a large paper shopping bag with a handle in his hand. Fran turned to look at Max and they both grinned, then they turned back to Brighton.
"So… Brighton? Is this the…"
"The pictures? Yes. I wanted to put them in an album, so it was easier to look through them and pick what you wanted. I sort of picked one out, but you can swap it if you like another one better. Do you want to go back in the living room? I need to tell you guys about some other stuff, too."
"Oh, alright, certainly," Max said. He picked up his and Fran's glasses of water, handed Fran's to her, and they followed Brighton out of the kitchen to head to the livingroom. Maggie looked over at Niles, who looked over at her.
"I call dibs on looking at them next!" Niles almost squealed.
"Oh, come on! I want to see them, too! Did you finish writing the announcement?" Maggie asked.
"I did! I hope they like what I wrote."
"I'm sure they will. I can't believe it's going to be in Sunday's paper! Everyone's gonna be freaking out."
"Oh, I know! It'll be fantastic!"
Brighton sat down in a chair and Fran and Max sat on the couch across from him, wondering about the suspense.
"So, Brighton- did you need to talk to us about something?" Fran asked.
"Um, yeah. I just wanted to let you know some stuff before you got to looking at the pictures, and before dinner. Um, so, first thing is that it looks like the independent study thing is a go. The teachers seem to really like the idea, and the administrators. So, I guess things will really start to kick in with that once I go to the library and once you have your surgery and we know more. But the other thing- I was talking with Tommy's dad, and mentioned to him about how there probably wasn't enough time to try to get a second opinion, and if he knew any way we might be able to do that when the surgery is happening so soon, and what kinds of things should we be asking that we haven't already. He said it sounded like we had a lot of information already, at least the kinds of things that we'd be able to find out now. Most of the questions- they can't really be answered until after the surgery and they find out what kind of tumor it is, that sort of thing. But, you know, there are a lot of what-ifs. If this, then this, that sort of thing."
Fran and Max nodded their heads.
"So, um, he said that if you really needed someone else to talk to, he would be willing to offer his time tonight if you wanted. He goes on call tomorrow for a few days, so he might not be able to talk then, but if that was something you wanted to think about. Um, he said if you had any concern about privacy, or him figuring out who you are, that maybe someone else can ask the questions while you both listen to what he says on the phone. He said he'd leave that up to you, but he would maintain your privacy no matter what. And it can be separate from the things I'd be studying and working on, unless there was anything you talked about that you think I should know and include. And I'd have to write up a separate form for that, for you to sign saying I had permission. Oh, and speaking of signing things, if you want your name kept out of everything, then I have to have one of the school administrators act like a liaison to make sure the proper things are signed by you, and then make copies that block your identity so those could be used in my reports and for others to see. They want all of this really by the book if you don't want your identity known. And you can always change your mind if you decide that you want it protected now, and then maybe later you decide that you're okay with people knowing. I'll keep it private until you tell me otherwise. But Tommy's dad has seen the printouts and the reports, but I had your name and all that blocked out, and it will still be blocked out on the stuff I turn in for the project."
Fran leaned back in her seat and Max looked over at her.
"What do you think, darling? It might be a good idea to at least see if he agrees with some things, like having the surgery so quickly. I know they have to go to the surgical board, too, but having at least one outsider to give an opinion, or help us figure out anything we might need to ask about, maybe that would be a good idea?" Max said. Fran thought for a moment.
"So, would we call him? Or how would that go?" Fran asked Brighton.
"I can call after dinner, make sure he's available, and then I can hand the phone to you guys. If you don't want to talk to him directly, dad can ask the questions and you both can listen. But, um, how would you feel about speaking to him directly? Would you not want to do that?"
Fran was quiet a moment. "Um, I don't think I would have a problem with it. He doesn't have my name yet, right?"
"No."
"And I don't know him, we haven't met. It would just be Tommy that might figure it out."
"Yeah, and I talked to Tommy about that, to not ask me who it is, and if he even thought he might know, that he can't go around telling people or talking about any of it, even with his dad. He said he would never do that, but if you need, I can have him sign some kind of confidentiality agreement. Make it more official, if it bothers you if people might find out."
"Well, it's not so much that it would bother me. I think after the surgery, things may start to get out anyway. I think I'd just like a little anonymity until after we find out what it is. I don't really want my whole family or whoever it may be asking me all kinds of things and maybe getting me stressed out more than I need to be. But I think once we know, and once we have a plan to deal with things, then I'd have to kind of let people know what's going on. I don't want to make everybody keep it a secret. It'll be part of our lives, at least for a little while. So why don't we do this- anonymity until at least next week, okay? Max, would you be okay talking to him, and I'll just listen? I'd trust you with coming up with the right kinds of questions to ask."
"Whatever you want, darling. Yes, I can speak for you, and if maybe you need to write anything down, you can do that. Oh, Brighton, does he know, uh, that this mystery patient is a 'she'?"
"Yeah, it's hard to talk about all this without saying at least that. And I think that was on some of the reports that didn't get covered up, plus some things are pretty female-specific. But all he would know was that it was a woman close to the family, nothing else. I hope that's okay."
"Sure, that's fine. Yeah, I don't know how else you would talk about someone without letting a pronoun slip by now and again," Fran said.
"Okay, then we'll call after dinner. Is seven o'clock alright?"
"Yeah, that's good. Maybe we can call from your office and then you can use the speaker phone," Brighton said.
"That's a good idea. Yes, we'll call from the office."
They got quiet again, then Max and Fran looked at the album in Brighton's arms.
"Oh!" Brighton exclaimed, when he realized it. "Okay, time for the photo session! You guys ready?"
"Yes!" Fran and Max exclaimed. They all laughed.
"Okay, now, I separated one photo in here that I thought would be good for the announcement in the newspaper, but you don't have to use that one. You can switch it around if you decide to use a different one. And whatever you pick, let me know, because I have to go get the other copy of it upstairs and get it to Niles. You don't need to take it out of here. And there's room left in this album for you to put some other things if you want. Okay, then. I'll let you guys go through it alone. I hope you like how they came out." Brighton got up and handed them the album, smiled, and headed out of the living room to go back to the kitchen.
"You ready?" Max asked. Fran looked at the album cover, then at Max, then back at the album.
"Yeah." She opened the album and flipped to the first page. There was a black and white photo of the two of them, looking fondly into each other's eyes, with her rings visible, and just below it was a typed copy of what Niles had written for the announcement. They both read through it and smiled.
"Wow, that's really nice. What do you think, darling?" Max asked.
Fran was getting tears in her eyes. "I love it! That's really sweet of him to do that. Aw, Max, the announcement's gonna be so wonderful! And I do like that picture, too! What do you think?"
"I'd say Brighton's a good photographer. He really caught a moment there, didn't he?"
Fran put her arm around Max's waist. "Yeah, he did! You ready to see the rest of them?"
Max nodded. "Yes," he said softly. Fran turned the page and they slowly began to make their way through the rest of the photos in the album.
"Aw, Max! They came out so good!"
"I know! Look at you- you're so beautiful! Oh, your mother's going to like these a lot!"
"Yeah… oh, I just love how the black and white ones look, but the color pictures are so good too! Oh, Max! Can we get some of these blown up? Maybe get some eight by tens?"
"Absolutely, darling! But which ones? We might have to get all of them enlarged. And see which ones your mother would like, too."
"Yeah. Oh, look, there's enough pages left over that we can put the newspaper clipping in here, too. And maybe any other engagement things we might end up with. Oh, this is so nice! He picked out a really good album, too. He really did a nice job!"
"He did. We need to pay him for it, too. He did a great job with this, and probably under a lot of pressure, too."
"Yeah. He did good. He really did. Should we take this in the kitchen to show Niles? And the girls too? I bet they're anxious to see."
"Yes. And we need to thank Niles for that wonderful announcement he wrote, too."
"Yeah. Okay, come on, sweetie! Let's go share this!"
They both got up from the couch and Fran grasped the album in front of her, and they hurried to the kitchen, Max's hand on the small of her back.