Sorry about the long wait on this chapter everyone; I wrote and re-wrote it three times before I was happy enough with it to post it, and I'm still anxiously hiding behind the furniture as I click on "Submit Document". This is because it's the first of the long awaited, and much avoided by me, lemons. The first I've ever written and seriously, who knew it could be so tricky to get it right?
So please be warned; this chapter contains naughtiness of the girl and boy variety. If you're offended by such things, or if you're too young to read them, please skip it, rather than reading it and then complaining. But then again if you're either of the above, goodness only knows why you're reading my story at all as it's clearly rated MA and I put warnings in the summary to keep just such people out! :0D
Stephenie Meyer owns the Twilight Saga. I own twitchy fingers that enjoy writing for no profit.
Chapter 27: Dreaming and Screaming
Bella POV
I was standing in the clearing again. Our clearing, the flowers all still died back from the winter and a chill in the air. I was all alone, the silence that seemed to echo around me was complete, not even the tiniest bird noise to cut through it. I slowly spun on the spot, looking all around me, curious as to why I was here, but not feeling the pain I might've expected to feel upon being in that place without Him. A twig breaking somewhere in the forest behind me made me jump, spinning in the air to see what had broken he almost deafening silence. I could see nothing, yet something inside me told me to stay completely still and wait. One, two, three minutes went past and nothing appeared. I went to move, but from my right, the suddenly present Taha Aki spoke.
"Wait." He said, placing his finer against my lips to keep me from speaking. "The time approaches, the beginning of the new." He'd always seemed serious before, but now there was an added gravity to his words that couldn't be ignored. I couldn't doubt that this time he was showing me or telling me something terribly, terribly important.
Another me appeared in the clearing and I was once again shown the dream scenes of me/not me with the faceless vampire. In each different version not me was killed, until me/not me once again appeared confident and relaxed, talking with the vampire. I watched as the vampire froze and looked back over his shoulder, surprised and fearful, just like the last time I'd been shown this scene, and then the scene faded out once again, to be replaced by another familiar location which I would've thought would bring me pain, and yet just filled me with memories. The baseball field where I'd first seen Victoria and James. I was alone again, but suddenly out of the silence, a badly injured wolf appeared off to my right, as if thrown there by something incredibly strong. It thrashed and whined in agony, tearing at the ground with teeth and claws and as I stood there watching in horror, a second and then third wolf appeared in the same way. One was clearly already dead, its throat torn out and eyes staring unseeing into the abyss, the other was barely breathing, bloody snotty bubbles frothing from its nose as its last few breaths rattled in its huge chest. As I stood there in terror, wolf after wolf in various stages of dying were thrown into view, one crushed inwards like a discarded coke can, one with limbs missing. Around my feet were all five of the wolves I'd seen before, their fur matted with mud and blood and all of them dying. Around me I could hear the sounds of several more crashing to the ground, and I could see their blood spilling onto the dirt, but I couldn't see the wolves themselves, despite the fact that they sounded close enough to trip over. As the whining and gurgling breaths finally silenced, I could hear a small panicked voice crying over and over.
"No no no no no no no no no no no." It took me a few moments to realise the voice was coming from me. My head snapped round to stare at Taha Aki, who was mournfully surveying the scene.
"This is what's destined? What will happen if I find the wolves and ask for help?" I asked in horror. "I can't do this to them. I can't have them all wiped out just to protect me."
"No, Young one. This is not destiny." He answered in a gentle tone. "This is just one possibility if you choose the wrong path. Somehow that didn't make me feel much better. A wrong choice by me could lead to this.
"So how do I keep this from happening?" I asked desperately, "How do I know when I'm making the right choices?" His face became expectant, waiting, it seemed for me to make my own conclusion. My phrasing hit me a split second later. "The right choices" I whispered to myself, realising what I'd inadvertently revealed to myself. "But I can't always take an hour or so to put myself into a meditative trance so I can think things through." I pointed out. He nodded.
"That is why you need to stop just knowing and start accepting, Young one." He told me firmly. "Until you do, you will always need a dream or meditation to think the right thoughts. But after you accept, you will find yourself able to make great leaps of knowing in any state of being." He turned and looked at all of the dead wolves with a terrible sadness. "The time has come for you to learn this before it is too late." He gestured at the scene before us. The scene faded again and this time we were standing in the forest, watching the middle aged man I'd dreamed of before clutching at his chest and dropping to the ground. "Some knowledge will affect a few lives" he told me as the scene re-set and me/not me accompanied the man into the forest as I had the last time I'd dreamed this. "And some knowledge will affect a whole nation." The scene faded once more and I was suddenly in the middle of modern day La Push, surrounded by screaming Quileutes young and old as one after another were killed violently by unseen hands. In complete horror I turned to stare at Taha Aki, his face filled with ancient grief.
"Is this another possibility if I make the wrong choice?" I asked him
"It is, Young One. But the possibilities if you make the right choices are so very beautiful and wonderful. The world isn't only filled with blood and pain. You can have so much more if you can learn acceptance." The scene thankfully faded away once more and we were on First Beach, near to the tide pools. Right at the end of the pools were three small children and their parents. The youngest child was sitting in one of the pools, crying until the father picked her up and threw her high above his head, causing her to squeal and shriek with laughter as the older two children clamoured around their father, begging for their turn and the mother stood by laughing. I was too far away to see the faces of any of the family, but I could almost feel the happiness and love pouring from the small group, making me smile, remembering the times when I'd visited the pools with Charlie when I was a little kid myself. It was a simple little scene but no less stirring for being short and sweet, and as the scene faded again, I carried the warm feeling it had given with me.
We were back in the darkened room again, the now familiar sounds of panting and groaning in the background. I was instantly reminded of the kiss Sam and I had shared in the parking lot on our date, and my mind was busily filling in the sensations that me/not me would be feeling as naked sweaty Sam kissed her, ran his hands over her skin, and grabbed a handful of her hair. I almost forgot Taha Aki's presence completely as I became absorbed in watching sweaty naked me/not me and sweaty naked Sam writhing together. He touched my arm to get my attention,
"Yeah, yeah, Taha Aki, I know; 'Watch'!" I said distractedly, vaguely aware of his snort of amusement. I ignored him once again, knowing already that he wasn't also watching; he'd always made a point of turning his attention away from the couple once I'd made it clear that him watching made me uncomfortable. The scene grew more and more intense, the usual writhing, groaning and screaming finally culminating in the bite and the roar of "MINE!" from Sam. I was dripping wet myself, panting and moaning slightly, almost on the verge of orgasm just from watching the couple and I wondered if sex with Sam would be as intense as the sex that me/not me had with her Sam. As I came back to myself a little, I was relieved to note that Taha Aki was over by the window, looking out on the group of wolves outside, rather than paying any attention to either the naked couple or me. I walked over to join him at the window and he turned to smile at me.
"Wake now, Young One." Taha Aki told me. "You have work that needs to be done." He rested his hand on the top of my head as if blessing me, and then he himself faded away, leaving me alone in the darkness. My eyes shot open and I sat up in bed, my eyes searching around the room wildly for a few seconds until I realised where I was. "Sam's bed. It's ok, I'm still at Sam's." I told myself, lying back down for a moment as I caught my breath.
Suddenly realising that Sam wasn't asleep next to me, I got up and shambled off to look for him, trying to tame my wild and unruly hair as I went. The sound of almost frantically banging pans from the kitchen, along with the smell of burning gave me a good hint as to where I might find him. I wandered in to find him in his usual pair of cut-offs without a shirt, his short hair all tousled and damp from the shower. There were beads of water still dripping off his head and onto his broad shoulders and muscular, smooth chest, making me want to trace the lines they made down his skin with my tongue. As I walked in, he was throwing a smoking frying pan into the sink, muttering under his breath and then grabbing a cup of coffee off the kitchen counter and spinning around to offer it to me wild eyed and looking slightly panicked.
"Oh…. Umm…. Morning, Bella. Sleep ok?" He stammered as I accepted the coffee cup and took a big sip.
"Great, thanks." I replied with a smile and a blush. "How about you?" to my surprise he blushed himself and started back up with the stammering.
"Y-yeah, just f-fine thanks." He cleared his throat. "I erm, tried to get a decent breakfast together for you, but seeing as how I can burn water, it didn't go so well." He gestured sheepishly towards the sink where the smoking pan was by this point sizzling slightly under the flow of the cold water and gave a little chuckle. I couldn't help but giggle along with him. "But I do a rocking line in cereal if you want some." He grabbed a box of Cheerio's from a cupboard and I nodded.
"That'd be fine, really, but I appreciate the attempt." He grinned at me and I returned it as he took a sip of his own coffee. "Do you mind if I take a shower first though? You're so hot, you had me dripping all night." He choked a little, coffee coming out of his nose and I suddenly burst into flames as I realised just exactly what I'd just said. "NO! I mean… I didn't….. I meant….. Oh Fuck it." I put both my hands in my face and stood there shaking my head as he combined choking on his coffee and laughing his ass off. "Ok well once again I've managed to embarrass the hell out of myself, so with that I'm going to go shower and see if I can wash my shame away in the process." I stated with as much dignity as I could muster, making him laugh even harder, throwing his head back and really howling in mirth. I was once again struck by how beautiful he was when he really let go and gave into the moment, his face worry-line free and his straight white teeth gleaming in contrast to his russet skin. With a steadying breath I mustered all my strength and dignity and turned to walk off to the bathroom, leaving Sam still laughing behind me in the kitchen.
Closing the bathroom door behind me, I leant back against it, breathing deep and still trying to pull myself together. It seemed that the slightest thing made me more and more attracted to him and I was beginning to wonder just how much longer my virginity was going to last. It wasn't that I was trying to hold onto especially; in fact a part of me had already decided that not only was I willing to part with it, but that Sam was the ideal candidate for assisting in the endeavour. It was more a nervousness about actually doing it, and a lingering fear of rejection left over from when He left. I rolled my eyes to myself as I undressed for the shower, recalling the times I all but threw myself and my virginity at Him only to be turned down. I understood why I was turned down, but that really didn't do much to ease the feeling of rejection I'd experienced and a big part of me was paranoid that the same thing would happen with Sam; that I'd throw myself at him only to be politely yet firmly turned down, and even though I was now able to think of the past rejections by Him with only a twinge of the old echoing chest pain, I was still fearful that a repeat of the same from Sam would send me plummeting back into the pit once more. I tied up my hair to keep it out of the water, studiously ignoring the niggling worry in the back of my mind. "You know, if you're worrying that Sam turning you down would send you back into the pit, it's a pretty good sign that you feel a lot more for him than you should." My mind was trying to tell me. I refused to listen; we had set out clear guidelines for our relationship, each of us for our own reasons, and I wasn't going to allow myself to be in danger of falling for someone who I couldn't possibly allow myself to get in too deep with for his own good, and especially not when that same person had made it very clear that they weren't interested in that sort of relationship themselves. That way could only lead to total emotional breakdown. I stepped into the shower and turned on the water.
I screamed.
The water was like ice. Each drop cut through me like a needle made of ice, making my skin feel like it was burning. I fumbled at the controls, unsure whether my unthinking hands were attempting to turn the hot water up, or turn the shower off completely, and a few seconds later, the question became completely irrelevant to my confused mind, as the door burst inwards with a loud crack and a flurry of splinters, and a naked Sam shot into the room shoulder first, shaking and growling lowly under his breath and casting wild eyes about the room in his urgency to find the danger I guessed. "Holy FUCK!" was the first thing that went through my head, as independently of me, my eyes raked over his naked form, taking in his shaking, semi-aroused nakedness from head to toe. On the second pass, my eyes stalled at his huge cock, which when he'd burst in had been half hard, but was rapidly growing harder and longer under my scrutiny. Obviously as a healthy, heterosexual teenaged girl, I'd seen pictures of naked men during my bouts of curiosity, but I'd never seen the real thing, and I could only guess that what Sam was packing was way beyond the average equipment. A slight groan from his direction caused my eyes to lift, dragging over his deliciously cut abs, his wide muscular chest, his strong broad shoulders and finally stopping at his face which was sporting a curious mix of shock, embarrassment and pure lust as he stared back at me, his eyes doing the same boy-raking manoeuvres over my own body that my eyes had been doing over his. Finally his eye met mine and he breathed in sharply through his nose, the lust I could see in his face increasing and hardening his expression. On auto pilot, my hand reached out and shut off the shower with a simple twist which had been completely beyond me a few moments before, and as if my movement had freed up his own, he took a step forward, then another and a graceful, predatory stalking glide. My brain was shutting down, leaving only my basic animal urges behind, but as it made its exit, a strange mundane thought flittered through. "I wonder what he was doing after I left him in the kitchen that left him naked and hard when he burst in here?" The thought was gone before I could give it any notice whatsoever, to be replaced with image after image of my sex dream scenes, increasing my own arousal and causing heat and moisture to gather at my core. He gave another sharp inhale through his nose, followed by a low rumbling growl that shot straight to my clit, setting it throbbing and I couldn't help but take the last few steps between us myself, clashing our bodies together in a frenzy of sucking, licking and biting mouths and grasping, clawing hands.
After the frigid water, the scorching heat of his naked body pressed tightly against mine was almost painful on my skin, but still I pressed myself more firmly to him, my pebbled nipples brushing against him and sending electric signals straight to my clit, causing me to moan and rock against his thigh which had worked its way between mine. His answering moan as his erection pressed into my belly sent shivers down my spine and I clawed against his back, trying to pull him ever closer to me. One of his hands ran up my spine to tangle roughly into my hair and pull my head back, exposing my neck to him and he dragged his mouth away from mine and began to suck and nibble his way from my collar bone up to my jaw as I groaned in approval.
"Oh God!" I moaned huskily and his mouth grew rougher against my skin, sucking what was sure to become a dark bruise into my neck where it joined my shoulder. He turned us and backed me forcefully against the wall, the cold tiles hard against my shoulders and ass and I arched my back to press myself harder into him. Leaving my neck now, he began kissing his way downwards, pausing to nip at my collarbones again and finally the scorching heat enveloped my left nipple, his right hand finding the other and pinching it hard, almost too hard, yet at the same time bringing nothing but electric pleasure. As if my nipples were hard wired to my pussy, I felt myself get impossibly hotter and wetter and it seemed that he was somehow able to tell as our groans of approval came simultaneously. His teeth grazed against the hardened bud, sharpening the pleasure until it teetered on the edge of pain, and then his hands and mouth switched, my right nipple now the one engulfed in hot wetness and my left now being pinched and rolled between his fingers. Incoherent sounds left my mouth as I tried simultaneously to tell him how much I loved what he was doing and beg for more, but he seemed to understand what I meant and continued what he was doing.
"Mmm. Ahhh. Fuck. Oh FUCK! Sam!" I babbled, with no control whatsoever over the noises I was making. The growling and groaning coming from him only served to make me hotter still, and finally, when it seemed my entire body had lost all co-ordination and my brain was ready to dribble out of my ears, his mouth left my breast and travelled downwards once more, leaving a hot wet trail down my body as he zeroed in on his target. I was vaguely aware of my weak protests, not at first understanding what he was intending, and then my protests stopped as his mouth finally made contact with my painfully throbbing clit, sucking and licking and lightly nibbling until I lost all control and came with a loud scream.
"AHHHHHH! OHHHH SHIT! FUUUCK!" My voice echoed off the bathroom walls and my knees gave out as I sank to the floor, dragging him down to eventually lie on top of me. I lay gasping and shaking, completely out of touch with my own mind as I attempted to recover from this first ever orgasm from someone else's hands, or mouth as the case was, trying to collect myself. However it seemed he was not even close to done. One large, strong, hot hand ran up my thigh, and then I felt hot fingers parting my nether lips as his tongue one again began to circle my over-sensitive clit, dragging more, almost painful sensation from my body. I spasmed and shuddered, unable to make any sound but grunts I might later be embarrassed over making as one long finger pressed inside me, only to withdraw and be replaced by two pressing back in again. "Oh fuck. Am I ready for this?" I briefly found the awareness to wonder as sudden realisation hit me; he wasn't planning on stopping, although I was sure he would if I asked, he was meaning to fuck me, and I had, in all honesty and fairness, been sending signals that I was ready to do just that, albeit unintentionally. Realising I had just seconds left to call this to a halt, I suddenly achieved a crystal clarity of thought. "If I call this off right now, he'll either feel like he was pressuring me too hard, which he wasn't; I'm just as responsible for this as he is, or he'll think I'm nothing but a prick tease and now I've got mine, I'm leaving him high and dry. Either way he'll feel just as rejected as I did all those times with Edward." I knew that really this was no basis on which to go ahead with having sex, especially for the first time, and had those been my only reasons, I believed I would've stopped him, but it was undeniable that I wanted him too, it was really just my own fear of rejection and my adolescent fantasies of my first time being a canopied bed, candle-lit, idealised perfection rather than this frenzied, desperate, bathroom floor experience that was holding me back. I made my decision. "I'm ready. It doesn't matter where we are, or how this started, my body is crying out for this, and I can't deny that it's crying out for Sam in particular, so why shouldn't we both have this?" His fingers curled upwards and rubbed against something that made me sit up and scream in pleasure, coming again, harder than I ever had before, as his mouth sucked almost painfully hard on my clit. I felt a rush of hot wetness from between my thighs and for a second I thought that I'd lost all control of myself and peed on him, but before I could make my mouth work properly to make a mortified apology, I heard him moan loudly in pleasure.
"Oh fuck yes, baby, that's right, cum for me. Soak me. Fuck that's so fucking hot! I'm covered in your cum." Realising with relief that I hadn't in fact lost control of my bladder, and that he apparently like the fact that I'd cum hard enough to quirt over him, I allowed myself to get lost in the sensations he'd created and I was so close to blacking out completely that I almost missed his swift slide up my body and didn't have time to get nervous at the realisation that he was about to enter me. My hair was completely covering my face, plastered down across my cheeks with sweat so I it seems I was able to hide my wince as he plunged deep into me in one thrust, my hymen breaking and giving way instantly to his onslaught, and I found myself biting into his shoulder to muffle my scream of pain. Apparently he liked that too, and he growled loudly, both of his hands coming up, one to rest on the floor beside my shoulder and the other to drag my hair out of my face and into his fist. Hiding my pain, I looked up into his face and saw him clenching his jaw so tightly I wouldn't have been surprised to hear his teeth cracking and he stilled for a few moments, muttering through his teeth.
"OhfuckmeBellayou'resofuckingtight!" he garbled, his fist gripping my hair tighter a he seemed to be fighting for control, fighting to hold still for a moment to allow me to adjust to his length buried deep inside me. I forced myself to relax, to allow my inner walls to become accustomed to the stretched feeling and gradually it felt less painful and invasive and more welcome. I shifted my hips a little, experimenting to see if I could get a bit of friction both inside my pussy and against my clit. My movement dragged a long, desperate groan from him.
"Fuck, Bella. You need to keep still or I'm going to lose it too quick. You're so fucking tight, shit I've never felt anything this good in my life." He moaned and I felt a little smile turn up one side of my mouth. Feeling mischievous suddenly, I clenched my walls a little, causing his jaw to clench even tighter and his eyes to slam shut. "PLEASE, Bella. Please. You've got to stop that or I'm not gonna last more than a minute here. Baby, please. Oh fuckfuckfuck!" he cautioned and begged and I clenched once again. His control broke. With an animalistic roar, he pulled my head to one side by my hair and roughly sucked and nipped once more at the place where I thought he'd already bruised me with his mouth.
"So you're going to be naughty then? He asked in a lust roughened voice, his harsh authoritarian tone combined with his fisting of my hair had my own lust rising at light speed. Plunging into me hard and fast, driving me into the floor tiles, he grunted and groaned, pulling similar noises from me as we both rushed headlong towards the edge of our control. My hips rose to meet his every thrust and one of my legs lifted to give him yet deeper access and to hock around his lower back, pulling him back after ever retreat. Our rough movements caused us to travel across the floor, our sweat slick bodies making the movement impossible to resist if we'd tried and before long, my head was knocking against the base of the toilet. Had I been anywhere near my right mind at that point, I probably would've objected to the lack of dignity involved in losing my virginity while banging my head repeatedly against a toilet, but as it was I was too far gone in my own pleasure to even notice, much less object.
"Oh God. Oh Shit. Oh FUCK….. SAAAAM!" I screamed as I fell headlong over the edge, my vision darkening and my mind and body soaring away in waves of pure pleasure. His own roar of
"BELLAAAA!" joined my echoing screams as he joined me, his hips and my hips hammering against each other as both out bodies struggled to eke the last few scraps of pleasure before collapsing together on the tiled floor in a steaming, sweaty, sticky, panting, moaning mess.
It was several minutes before either of us moved. I was exhausted, physically, mentally and emotionally and I simply couldn't do anything other than lie there with the back of my head lifted against the base of the toilet and my arms and legs tangled together with Sam's. Eventually though, the weight of his huge body on top of mine was restricting my breathing so much that I had to shift a little to gain some breathing space and my movement caused him to come back to himself a bit and he rolled off me to one side. He raised his head from the crook of my shoulder where it had been resting and kissed me on the mouth surprisingly softly. Then laid his forehead on my shoulder. Still panting, he asked.
"So what was the screaming about?" I couldn't help it. I started to giggle, my laughter getting louder and louder as he joined in, both of us shaking with mirth, and it was several minutes before I was able to get enough control to reply.
"The shower." He looked at me confused. "It was fucking freezing!" I explained and he gave me a sheepish, apologetic smile.
"Oh. I thought someone had sneaked in and was attacking you or something." I snorted.
"Yeah I figured as much." He pushed himself up until he was sitting, reaching out to grab my hand and pull me up with him.
"I hadn't planned to do this with you this soon, and certainly not on the bathroom floor, but I'm not even going to pretend to be sorry." He said, looking me seriously in the eye. I smiled at him.
"I'm not sorry either." I said simply, "But if you could fix the water temperature for me, I'd really like that shower now." He grinned at me, completely relaxed.
"Sure sure." He said, reminding me for a moment of Jake, "You mind if I join you?" For a second I was embarrassed by the idea and a blush came to my cheeks. I figured though that shyness was ridiculous at that point so I willed the flaming cheeks away ad shrugged nonchalantly.
"Sure, that'd be nice."
"I love that you can still blush so innocently, even straight after that." He told me, running one finger over my reddened cheek, bringing the blush straight back again, and narrowing my eyes, I gave him a mock glare, sticking out my tongue at him playfully. He gave a snort of laughter and pushed himself up to his feet.
"I'm going to need a hand up, please." I told him. "I'm not sure my knees have come back online yet." He laughed again and help out a hand to help me up. I took it and he hauled me to my feet, holding me steady when, as predicted, my knees were still too jellied to keep me upright. With one arm around my waist he led me back over to the shower, and reached out to fiddle with the temperature before turning on the water and lifting me in to stand under the now deliciously warm fall of water. I gave an appreciative little groan and he stepped in himself, crowding up against me and reaching for the shampoo. Despite our intimate position, neither of us had it in us to make the shower another sexual episode, settling instead for relaxed and sensual, washing each other's bodies gently and him washing my hair for me. I was too short to be able to reach his hair to wash it, and when I suggested he kneel do I could reach he shook his head with a little smile.
"As exhausted as I am, I don't think I could kneel in front of you ad not dive in face first for a second round." He explained, making me blush once again, which in turn made him chuckle. As the water began to cool, we both stepped out and we towelled each other dry before I wrapped a towel around myself and one around my hair, and he tucked one around his hips.
"Is that cereal still up for grabs?" I asked as we left the bathroom.
"Yeah, of course." He replied. "How about you go get dressed and I'll go sort out some breakfast for us?" I grinned up at him.
"Thanks, Sam. I'm starving though and I'm not sure cereal is going to cut it just be itself." I thought for a moment. "If you pour us some cereal while I dress, I'll cook us up some bacon, eggs and pancakes too follow while you dress." I offered. His eyes lit up for a second before his face fell.
"That'd be perfect except I already burned all the food I had in the place." I snickered a little at his cooking disaster, then cut off my laugh before I hurt his feelings.
"Ok. Then you pour us some cereal, I'll dress, and then we'll head to the diner for a proper breakfast once we've taken the edge off our hunger with some cheerio's. How's that?" I asked and his grin came back full force.
"A woman after my own heart." He said and snatching a quick kiss, he gently pushed me in the direction of the bedroom to dress while he headed to the kitchen to pour us some cereal.
So. Can I come out from behind the furniture yet? What do we think?
Yes I know she said/thought the 'E word' in there without flinching, I'll reference it in the next chapter, but I couldn't do it in this one without breaking the flow.
Hope you enjoyed it. ;0p