EPOV.
"I don't know where to start."
Bella's hands clenched in a gesture so stiff it almost seemed sculpted, her lip caught anxiously between her teeth. For a fleeting moment, she appeared painfully human, her anxious mannerisms echoing the shadows of a former life. We had been sprawled on my bed in silence for what felt like an eternity, neither of us daring to interrupt the silence that had reigned between us. It was clear that Bella was trying to find the words to start her story. While part of me wanted to shield her from the pain of her memories, curiosity gnawed at me. On the one hand, I was ready to ask her not to tell me anything if it caused such feelings in her, but on the other hand, the rest of the Cullens constantly deliberately or involuntarily let slip about what happened. I didn't want to hear just a piece of the truth about what was so clearly worrying Bella; it only provoked unnecessary speculation in my head. I needed to hear the whole truth.
"Bella, we can always talk later," I offered solemnly, meeting the gaze of the girl cradled in my arms.
To my disappointment, Bella pulled away from me and sat down so that she was now completely within my line of sight.
"No, I need to tell you now," she insisted, her voice a mix of determination and embarrassment. " It wasn't my smartest move, and I'm quite embarrassed to share it. Especially with you, but I'd better tell you about it now."
I couldn't fathom what Bella could have done that filled her with such dread. Rosalie said several times that this act put their entire family in danger. Whatever it was, I'm sure Bella didn't do it on purpose. In my eyes, she was simply not capable of anything terrible.
"I'll start with a little background about my family. I already said that Cullens were incredibly supportive. Not all newly turned vampires are so lucky. The first year after transformation is the most difficult. Usually, it's marked by an ever-present, relentless thirst, emotional turmoil, and a maddening surge of energy. Although my thirst was manageable, I still felt overwhelmed. And while they helped me learn to hunt, they gave me other friendly advices, I still felt lonely. I saw how strong the relationship was in the couples, how one of the partners could simply come to his or her other half and pour out all his worries and emotions, while receiving enormous unconditional support. I saw the strength of their pairings, the effortless support they offered one another, and I... I longed for that kind of connection. At times, I simply burned with the desire to feel something like that. I wanted to feel the same connection with someone." Her expression was so forlorn, it took all my self-control not to embrace her then and there. My own longing to be her confidant, her protector, felt alarmingly natural. "Then, a few years later, Demetri entered my life," she continued cautiously, aware that even his name stirred a storm within me.
I involuntarily frowned when I heard this name, wondering how we got back to talking about him again. Not a single person, a vampire, in this case, has caused me such an attack of irritation. Mike Newton was frighteningly close, but still not quite there. I actually thought we were going to talk about these scary vampires from Italy. Wait a minute, Demetri was also from Italy. My eyes widened at my guess.
"Bella, is Demetri a Volturi too?"
Bella's worried look said a lot.
"He's one of them," she admitted softly.
"And you dated him? That's the whole problem?" I didn't know what to say or what to think. Even before that, I just wanted to hit this Italian vampire that Bella once dated. Jealousy and irritation were brewing inside me, but I tried not to think about it.
"I will continue my story; I think it will be clearer this way. As I already said, Demetri appeared at the moment when I began to seriously think about finding my partner. I no longer wanted to be in the constant status of the seventh wheel. Therefore, Demetri caught me in my moment weakness and took advantage of it."
Bella's eyes lit up with anger. I wasn't sure whether she was angry with herself or with Demetri, but this emotion was reflected so clearly on her face that it could not be confused with anything else. I reached out to squeeze Bella's hand, hoping that my touch had the same effect on her as hers had on me. And it seemed to help a little, as Bella's body relaxed a little and her eyes softened.
"At the time, I was away from the Cullens, visiting friends in Denali. It was there I first encountered Demetri. He was a guest of our mutual friend, Eleazar. I knew that he was part of the Volturi, so at first, I didn't react to his signs of attention. Yet, he was persistent, shadowing my hunts, showering me with compliments and so on. I was unshakable, we both understood that there could be nothing serious between us. I promise, I will explain to you a little later why I was so sure of this. But one day everything changed, I accidentally killed a bear who had several cubs, and this upset me so much. I used to be more cautious, more selective; thirst had never been such a pressing issue for me. However, due to Demetri, I found myself hunting less often to avoid being alone with him. This caused me to lose vigilance and control during the hunt." Bella paused; her voice tinged with regret. "I was so upset so I immediately returned to the house, only to find Demetri there. He noticed my distress immediately and asked what happened. I was so overwhelmed with emotions that I told him everything. And he just listened. I half-expected mockery or dismissal of my feelings, but instead, he just listened—offering a quiet, unwavering support. In that moment, something turned upside down in me. What I sought in a partner—simple support, even in the smallest matters—turned out to be present in Demetri."
Bella's admission hung in the air, a testament to the complex tangle of feelings and choices that defined her journey. As she looked at me, I could see the weight of her story, the mingled regret and revelation reflected in her eyes.
"Demetri offered me a moment of understanding that I had desperately needed. It was ironic, really, considering who he was and what he represented. This single, seemingly insignificant interaction changed my perception of him, and against my better judgment, I found myself drawn to him." The room seemed to close in around us as she delved deeper into her narrative, the weight of her past bearing down. "In the days that followed, my defenses gradually eroded. Demetri didn't press further, he simply continued to be present, to be supportive. It was this gentleness, so at odds with what I knew of the Volturi, that disarmed me. Before I knew it, I was looking forward to our brief encounters, to the solace he offered. It wasn't long before our relationship deepened, evolving into something different. It was a mistake—one born from loneliness and a misguided search for connection."
I continued to listen to Bella carefully, but inside I was torn with jealousy. My mind seethed with the desire to obliterate any man who had dared to approach her romantically. The intensity of these emotions puzzled me. I didn't understand why I was overcome by such strong emotions. Bella had said more than once before that her relationship with Demetri was a mistake, and that she didn't have any strong feelings for him, but from the moment I met her, a fierce longing had ignited in me to be the sole focus of her affections.
This fiery jealousy, perhaps, was amplified by the stark contrast between Demetri and myself. There he was, a formidable and seasoned vampire, his centuries of existence weaving an aura of confidence and strength around him. And here I was, merely an eighteen-year-old kid with a lot of troubles.
Despite my inner turmoil, I resolved to listen, to truly hear her, not just the facts of her story but the emotions and lessons tangled within them. As she spoke, I glimpsed the woman Bella had become through her trials.
"I appreciate your trust, Bella," I found myself saying, my voice steadier than I felt. "Your past with Demetri doesn't change how I see you. In fact, it shows me how much you've grown."
"But this is just the beginning of my story. After we decided to try and start dating, we left Denali to be alone. He often asked me about my life, about the Cullens, and sometimes he himself talked about his past adventures. Our only disagreement was his diet. While I was trying to persuade him to try animals, he was trying to win me over to his side. But I stood firm in my decision, people were much more to me than a source of food." I suppressed a shudder at the words Bella said. "We eventually ventured to Europe. At first these were different countries, we started with foggy England, and when the weather allowed, we moved over longer distances, although clearly, we mostly traveled at nights. At some point, he persuaded me to visit Italy, and then Volterra. At first, I was against it, all these stories about ruthless vampire guards indicated that I had nothing to do there. Yet, they were not only his friends but also his leaders. Accepting Demetri meant accepting all facets of his life, including them. That's how we ended up in the castle, or to be precise, in the throne room." Bella fell silent and looked at me, checking how I reacted to each new information from her.
I tightened my grasp on her hand, an instinctive gesture of support. Hearing about Bella's encounters with the Volturi, especially without her family's protection, stirred a deep unease within me. Yet, seeing her here now, safe and intact, provided a measure of comfort.
"In the center, in a high throne, sat Aro, and around him were his brothers and the elite members of the Volturi guard. I had seen them before in Carlisle's portrait, but it was different in person. The Volturi's skin appeared paler than any vampire I had encountered—nearly translucent—and their eyes, a deep, unsettling red, seemed to pierce through the dimness of the room, exuding a silent threat.
They filled me with fear, although Aro tried to seem friendly. To his left was his brother Caius, who looked at me angrily, and on the right, a slightly calmer Marcus. Immediately, Demetri went to Aro and silently extended his hand to him. I remember that this surprised me, but then I thought that Aro probably forced everyone to do this. I knew about his power, and I knew that now he would see everything that happened between me and Demetri. I didn't like it, but I couldn't prevent it in any way. So, in a couple of seconds, Aro learned everything. Once he finished reading Demetri's thoughts, Aro expressed a keen interest in testing the strength of my mental shield. And as you already know, Aro couldn't get into my head. Then he looked at Demetri strangely, but I didn't understand what that look meant."
I thought about her words and remembered what Emmett had said.
"Aro wanted to take you into his clan, didn't he? That's what Emmett was talking about today when he said that the friendship between Carlisle and Aro didn't help last time?"
Bella nodded her head sympathetically.
"Yes, you guessed correctly. After our first meeting, we agreed to stay in Volterra for a short time. I didn't want to stay there, but I understood that Demetri could not afford such behavior. However, it wasn't long before I noticed a shift in Demetri's demeanor. All our conversations began to boil down to how good it will be for me if I join the members of the guard, how prestigious it is, and that I must definitely invite Alice here. Aro has already begun to openly insist that I leave the Cullens and move to Italy. Then I told Demetri that maybe we should end our relationship, because I was bothered by his obsession with me joining their ranks. All that was left of the old Demetri was a shell. I couldn't help but question: which Demetri was real? The supportive figure from our days in Denali, or the Volturi loyalist I saw in Volterra?"
The question hung heavily in the air, rhetorical yet laden with unshed tears of betrayal and confusion. Bella, overwhelmed by the resurgence of painful memories, abruptly rose from the bed and strode to the window. I wanted to get up and calm her down, but she continued her story.
"Then, the harsh reality hit me—I had been incredibly naive," Bella confessed, her voice laced with a mixture of anger and disappointment. "I couldn't believe how easily I opened up to Demetri, and how much we talked about me, about the Cullens and so little about him. I was overwhelmed with various kinds of emotions, and most of all I was angry. At myself, of course, that I allowed my weakness to get the better of me." She paused, taking a deep breath to steady herself. "I decided it was time to confront Demetri. I lured him out of the city under the pretense of going on a hunt. I'll spare you the specifics of our conversation, but I cornered him, demanding honesty. And honesty is what I got. He liked me, but his primary motive was to present me to Aro as a prize. To him, I was a means to elevate his status within the Volturi. My feelings, my desires were secondary, though he claimed he was still genuinely attracted to me. It was a devastating realization. Even if I had never envisioned a forever with him, I had certainly considered him a friend. To discover he was a traitor—it shattered me... I couldn't even really say anything to him. I just ran away. Hours later, when I finally stopped, the reality of my situation hit me hard. Going back to Volterra was not an option. And yet I knew that challenging Aro would result in his wrath. I couldn't think of anything better than to contact Alice."
"Wait, if you could contact her at any moment, just like she could contact you, why didn't she warn you about anything? You're best friends." I couldn't mask my confusion and concern. Didn't Bella say that Alice was constantly looking after the whole family? How could she not notice that Bella was in danger? Bella had always spoken of Alice's foresight as something that perpetually safeguarded them.
"At that time, all the other Cullens were preoccupied with moving. Alice was consumed with details—house plans, weather patterns, the reaction of local residents. And of course, she always had to keep an extra eye on Jasper. She knew about Demetri, but there were too many distractions."
I knew it was irrational, but I was still a little disappointed that the Cullens were so inconsiderate of Bella. Now I saw even more clearly why she so wanted to find that connection that existed in couples, why she so yearned for the type of deep connection she saw in others. The Cullens had each other's backs, but their intense pair bonds sometimes left Bella feeling like an outsider. My heart ached for her past loneliness.
"Alice answered almost immediately. Her first words were, 'Keep running. Don't stop or the Volturi will catch you.'" My breath hitched at the image of Bella, alone and vulnerable fleeing from the most formidable vampire clan in the world. And then another parallel occurred to me.
"About the time you were running away from the Volturi, the fate of my family was being decided, only here, in Chicago."
This strange symmetry in our lives, our simultaneous brushes with danger, seemed to pull us closer together. Bella reached out, her hand gently caressing my cheek as if to assure herself that we were both safe now, in this shared moment. Then, she pulled me into a kiss. And what a kiss it was. It was filled with the intensity of all we had endured. When we finally parted, the connection didn't fade; it seemed to wrap around us, protective and insistent. Bella finally broke the silence, her voice softer, but carrying a new resolve.
"I never went back to Volterra after that. With Alice's guidance, I kept moving until I felt safe enough to return to the Cullens. Alice was keeping an eye on my future and on Demetri's as well, so she saw when the Volturi gave up the idea of finding me. At first, I wanted to return right away, the Cullens had just moved to Forks, but I realized that I needed to be alone. I felt ashamed, offended, and most importantly, I was not sure that I was ready to return to the circle of ideal couples. But we were still a family, so I gave myself a year. At the last moment, I even thought about changing my mind and staying in Europe until the end of spring, but Alice said that I would like it in Forks." For the first time all evening, a smile appeared on Bella's face. "Something tells me that Alice saw one cute guy in my immediate future."
I gave Bella a crooked smile.
"Oh, really? And who might that have been?"
"Mike Newton," she quipped without missing a beat, a playful glint in her eyes.
The name sent a twinge of irritation through me, and I couldn't help but scowl, which only amused her more. If my jealousy brought out her laughter, perhaps it was a small price to pay.
"You could have named any other person in this godforsaken city, but you chose him. You could have chosen Ben, for example."
"First of all, just because you like Ben doesn't mean he's my type." I shot Bella an irritated look, but she ignored it. "Secondly, he's too in love with Angela to notice anyone else."
"Oh, he notices, trust me. " I insisted, leaning closer. "You'd have to be blind not to notice you."
Her smile widened, and she leaned in to give me a quick kiss on the lips.
"Maybe, and I, in turn, noticed you." she said softly, her eyes twinkling with affection and a hint of mischief. "And let's be honest, you were quite hard to miss."
"Is that so? And what exactly made me so noticeable?" I teased, curious about her perspective.
Bella leaned back slightly; her gaze thoughtful as she considered her response. "It wasn't just your obvious charm or the way you seemed to brood mysteriously in the corner of the cafeteria," she began, her tone playful yet sincere. "You had this... gravity. It drew me in."
"I guess we were both a bit unavoidable to each other," I admitted, reaching out to tuck a stray lock of hair behind her ear.
"I guess we still are." Bella leaned in to kiss me again. "Thank you for listening to me today. It was important to me that you knew."
"Bella, I'm always ready to listen to you. And if you blame yourself for something, then stop. The only one to blame in this whole situation is Demetri. He wanted to use you for his own interests and manipulated you." My frustration flared as I recalled Rosalie's harsh words earlier, unfairly accusing Bella of jeopardizing the entire family. It pained me to see Bella absorb these accusations, her spirit weighed down by misplaced guilt. "It's unfair, and it's not true," I continued, my tone softening as I reached out to hold her hands in mine, ensuring she felt the sincerity of my words. I was ready to do everything I could to rid her of these emotions and make sure she never found herself in the situation again. When she has no one to pour out her soul to. We're a couple now. "We're in this together, as a couple. I'll be here to listen, to support, and to stand by you, no matter what comes our way."
The promise wasn't just in my words but in the protective circle of my arms around her.
"Thank you," she whispered, her voice tinged with emotion. "Hearing you say that—it means everything to me."
In that moment, the realization washed over me like a wave, leaving behind a profound sense of purpose and connection. I loved this girl more deeply than I had ever thought possible. The air between us was charged with an unspoken promise—a mutual understanding that whatever lay ahead, our journey would be shared, with unwavering trust and relentless courage. As we leaned into each other, finding comfort in the silence that followed, it was clear that this was not just a temporary reassurance but a lifelong pact.
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