Chapter 12

Narinya awoke again that evening, although she could not quite tell what time of day it was. She glanced over at the small but nourishing meal that had been left for her and took a slow and deliberate breath, willing herself to find the energy to move. Her head and body ached, and so did her heart.

She sat up and slowly moved her legs off the edge of the bed. The sheets she had been in were stained with a small amount of dried blood. She grimaced and shakily stood, pressing her hands to her empty abdomen. Just then, there was a quick knock at the door and one of the healers charged with her care entered the room.

"My lady, take care not to move about too much. You should be fully healed in a day or two more as long as you do not exert yourself."

Narinya nodded but said nothing.

"You should have something to eat, as well. It will hasten your recovery."

The healer assisted Narinya to the small table across the room. She then filled a glass with cold water and placed it on the table. Narinya hadn't realized how thirsty she was until seeing the liquid; she lifted the glass to her lips and relieved the rawness of her mouth and throat.

"The prince called upon you earlier, but we did not let him enter. Shall he be sent word to come and speak with you now? I am certain he is very worried."

Narinya sighed, doubting that he would be worried about her condition after what she had done, "Nay, not yet." She remembered his steely glare and was not sure she could handle any further cruel words yet, deserved or not.

The healer nodded and took her leave. A chambermaid came in briefly to tidy and refresh the room. Narinya drank another glass of cool water and took a few bites of her meal before returning to the now clean bed, the pain in her body having subsided somewhat. Her visitors thus far had been kind but aloof, tending to her physical needs but leaving her alone with her tumultuous emotions.

She fell asleep with her heart heavy with grief and wondering what might be being said about her outside of her small healing chamber.

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Thranduil was seated by the hearth in his chambers when the prince knocked on the heavy door. The king had been briefed on what had happened to the princess and was expecting his son's visit. He stood to greet him, "I am sorry, my son." Legolas noted the sympathy in his father's expression.

"She will heal." Legolas sat down across from his father, but largely avoided his piercing gaze.

"I hope that both of you will. I do not know how much more grief you can take. To lose a child..." Thranduil regarded his son, who was looking into the flames with a rather blank expression that the king could not read. He had expected to encounter sorrow, but there was more than that.

"Why did you not announce the pregnancy? The princess should have been eating more often, and certainly meals more befitting of an elleth carrying a child, and she should have been under careful watch."

When Legolas did not address the questions, Thranduil continued, "Why did you both keep this hidden, especially from the healers, and even myself? This tragedy might well have been avoided…"

"She did not tell me, either."

"Surely you knew that your own wife was expecting? I know you've not experienced the feeling before, but you must have sensed that your child was within her. If you had told me, I could have guided you. You should have been sending your energy to the infant..."

Legolas met his father's questioning gaze and steeled himself, "It was not my child."

A heavy silence filled the room for a few moments before Legolas continued, "She had… relations just before our marriage."

"That is impossible. Her father, my friend, told me upon agreeing to the marriage that you would be the first and only to have her."

Legolas shook his head, "It would seem that she had other plans. I have not spoken with her at any length about it. I have not been able to see her since the night she lost the child."

"I highly doubt that even if she did not come to Greenwood with her virtue intact that she would have conceived a child with another ellon. You know perfectly well that elven couplings do not conceive at random."

Legolas frowned, "He was not fully elven; it was a half-elf from Lake-town. This is all she has told me and when she did, I reacted harshly. I was angry and I said things I should not have."

Thranduil ran his fingers through his flaxen hair, "You have every right to be angry. She was promised to you, and yet she married you while carrying another's child. This is truly disgraceful."

"Her father should not have promised what was not his to give. She was wrong to keep this secret, yes, but Narinya did not even wish to marry me; she did not owe her innocence to me."

"It is customary, but that much could be overlooked if she had not been carrying another's child. It is lucky, then, that..." Thranduil trailed off.

Legolas narrowed his eyes and leaned forward, lowering his voice, "Do not say it, father."

A fleeting look of guilt crossed Thranduil's face, "You know with absolute certainty the child was not yours?"

Legolas nodded, and Thranduil understood what it meant. He had thought the two had been getting along quite well recently, but perhaps he had been wrong. "Then, perhaps something can be done to invalidate this union entirely."

Legolas surprised himself when he quickly responded, "She has been punished enough."

Thranduil crossed his arms and raised one eyebrow, "You have had a change of heart about this marriage?"

"You must admit that for not desiring this pairing, she has adjusted quite well and been a more than capable princess."

Thranduil audibly scoffed, "After this, you still think her a capable princess?"

"I said things to her that cannot be unsaid and she may well have lost the child because of them," he paused, "I do not wish to put her through anything further right now."

Thranduil nodded, "We will decide what will be done after she has recovered, then. Tell no one the full truth of this matter."

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Legolas awoke the next morning after a restless night. He did not realize how accustomed he had become to having Narinya next to him every night. Of late, they'd often spent evenings in warm conversation. He had come to enjoy her partnership in discussing matters of the realm as well as her interest and openness when exchanging stories from their respective lives before they had met. It pained him to think she had not been nearly as forthcoming as he had thought.

Deciding he needed some time to reflect, he pulled on a tunic and left the room.

He swiftly exited through the main gates of the elvenking's hall out into the crisp late autumn air, finding his way down the familiar paths of Northern Greenwood. The sky was gray, but no rain was threatening to fall.

He stepped off of the well-traveled path and under the canopy of the tall trees above him, his boots barely leaving an imprint in the damp ground. As he walked, he could hear the trees whispering to one another, although such a sound would be perceived as nothing more than the rustling of leaves in the wind by a mortal's ears.

He continued his slow procession, having no particular destination in mind. His thoughts were focused on Narinya, who still lay in the healing chambers. The task of speaking with her loomed over him, for he knew that much would need to be said.

Carefully avoiding the dwellings of his kin, he went onward through the forest, taking comfort in the spirit of the living things all around him and breathing in the autumn aroma of the woodland.

He had been wrong to say such things about an innocent life, whether they were true or not. It was not oft that he spoke with such haste and he knew that his words had had some part in the loss of the child, even if only Narinya had directly heard them.

He considered his reaction to his father's suggestion of invalidating the union. Was that the best course of action now and, if so, was it what he truly wanted?

One of the eldest trees in the forest beckoned the prince and he seated himself at the base of the tree, leaning against her trunk as he listened to her. Long has it been since Legolas last seated himself beneath my boughs.

Legolas nodded; he was glad to hear her happy tone. He still often wandered the forest, but had lingered there much longer as an elfling.

A nearby tree whispered a question but Legolas declined to answer, preferring to continue sorting through his thoughts. Finally, the trees hushed, accepting that they would not get any answers out of their elf.

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Narinya's physical pain had resolved almost entirely and she was allowed to take a bath without assistance. After washing her body and hair, she slipped into a crisp linen night shift that had been left folded for her and then climbed back onto the bed.

The healer returned that evening to check in on her, "My lady, I see you are improving quickly, as is expected. I would still recommend additional rest, to let your body finish recovering." The healer paused and then added, "Prince Legolas is waiting to speak with you. We ask that you give him permission to enter your healing chamber."

"He is the prince; he may do what he wishes."

The healer silently nodded and left the room. Narinya exhaled and lay back against the pillows that had been propped up against the headboard, mentally preparing for whatever was to come. Her grief still overpowered the anxiety she felt at the prospect of seeing and speaking with her husband.

A few long moments passed before she heard a familiar knock. She steeled herself for his entry, "Come in."

Legolas opened the door and entered, closing it tightly behind him. The room was dark but his eyes quickly adjusted. Narinya was sitting up on the bed with her legs pulled up toward her, staring straight ahead at the wall, not acknowledging him. She could feel his eyes on her, assessing her. She knew she probably wasn't looking her best, but she cared little.

"Narinya, how are you feeling?" Legolas asked. She had not entirely expected his gentle tone.

When she did not respond he sat down on the very edge of the bed. She was only an arm's length away from him but he doubted that she would let him get closer. When she finally looked at him, her eyes spoke volumes that words could not, the depths of grey revealing the hurt she held within her.

They held one another's gaze for several long moments before Legolas broke the heavy silence, "Narinya, I did not mean the words that I spoke."

She shook her head, "But you did, because they were true. If they weren't true, they would not have affected me the way they did… wouldn't have…", she trailed off, unshed tears flooding her eyes.

"I had no right to speak them."

At his words, she could not stifle a sob, her tears finally brimming over.

Legolas leaned toward her and gathered her in his arms, her face resting against his tunic as she cried, barely able to catch her breath. He held her close to him as he solemnly stared at the floor, moisture stinging at the corners of his own eyes.

Her tears felt sourced from a well of infinite depth. So many times she had stifled her troubled emotions over the past months, both alone and in front of her husband.

Neither knew how much time had passed when Narinya finally pulled away from him. She had always hated to cry, but this time, it felt cathartic.

She raised her head to meet his eyes. "I am sorry, Legolas, for all I've done. All these months I have been so afraid - then it all came to such an abrupt and painful end." Tears still streamed silently down her face as she spoke, though her voice grew more steady, "I have been angry with you these past days, but also with myself, because I knew when you spoke them that your words were true."

He took her hands in his, "I can only ask for your forgiveness, for they cannot be unsaid."

"I was there for him physically, but I could not connect with him as an elleth should, and I often thought about how much easier things would be if I did not have such a burden."

Legolas listened, still holding one of her hands.

"It must have affected him greatly. I should have done more, I should have loved him and not let him suffer for my mistake."

"Narinya, what has come to pass cannot now be changed. I am truly sorry for my part in this, and for what you have had to go through these past days."

She wiped her eyes and drew a deep breath, "Thank you, Legolas. And…," she paused, "I am sorry for keeping this from you. It was not right."

"I wish you had told me, but I do understand why you did not find the courage to do so sooner."

"I did not know with certainty that I was pregnant until after we were already wed, and then I did not know what to do, and so I did nothing... for much too long. But, you have been nothing but kind, understanding, and accepting of me, and you deserved better than this."

"Thank you, Narinya." He gave her a slight smile.

They continued sitting beside each other on the bed, now in silence, neither quite sure of what to say next.

Narinya was the first to speak, "Am I to be sent back to Lake-town, then?"

Legolas looked surprised, "No, you are Greenwood's princess and my wife." Legolas knew his father had not necessarily agreed to allowing Narinya to remain, but he knew now that he would advocate for it.

She blinked twice, processing his answer, "But surely what I've done disqualifies me for both of those titles?"

"The only ones who know any details are my father and sister. My father has simply told his advisors that you were with child but complications arose. There is no reason to share anything more. You were not unfaithful to me."

"But we are not truly… married, not in the way of our people," she countered.

"In the eyes of Greenwood we are."

"Legolas, you could tell you father the full truth and the marriage might be annulled." She felt it was only fair to remind him of this. He could have a fresh start, with a new and more fitting bride. Perhaps even a chance to find a partner of his own choosing after this arrangement had failed, an elleth he could form a bond with.

"Why do you think that I desire it to be annulled?"

She gazed at him, silently trying to read his emotions, before finally responding, "I hope you are not saying these things because you feel it would be too cruel to send me back home, after all of this. You should know that I will accept whatever fate you and your father decide upon."

"Narinya, I do not wish for you to go anywhere," he admitted to her and also to himself.

Silence filled the room again as Narinya reflected on his words. She had not considered an outcome in which she was allowed to stay in Greenwood in any capacity, and the relief she now felt surprised her. She searched his face for any indication of what he might be thinking, but found no clues.

There was much more he wanted to ask her, but decided it was not the time for such things. "There will be much that needs dealing with in the coming days, but for now you need to finish recovering."

Narinya nodded, still uncertain of what was to come, but comforted nonetheless by his visit and their conversation. She had found some measure of peace tonight.

She could feel that the hour had grown quite late and Legolas stood to take his leave, striding the few steps to the door. As he reached to turn the handle, he looked back toward her.

With some hesitancy on her voice, she asked, "Will you stay with me tonight?"

He glanced at the bed and seemed to think about it for a moment, "If that is what you wish."

Narinya nodded. She pulled the top layer of blankets down and slipped into the comfortable bed.

He pulled his boots off and removed his circlet before lying down next to her, attempting to leave the usual amount of space between their bodies, though it was more difficult in this smaller bed. He turned to face her and asked, "Are you still in much pain?"

"Only a small amount, now. The healer thinks I can return to our chambers tomorrow evening." She again searched his face for his reaction.

"I've never before seen an elleth so pale as the night they took you away to the healing hall. They said you lost consciousness due to the bleeding or the pain, likely some combination of the two. I am sorry you had to endure that and then found yourself alone these past days."

"It was indeed worse pain than I've ever suffered before, but I'm grateful for the care of Greenwood's healers. I'm feeling much better now."

While her body healed quickly, it did not come without a price; she would be very fatigued for several more days. She yawned and turned away from him. Remembering the solace of his warm embrace from earlier and too tired to fret over being too bold, she closed the gap that had been between them, pressing her back against his chest as she fell asleep.

He draped his arm over her, enjoying the feeling of her against his body. He could not help but wonder if Calanon had also enjoyed this closeness with her.

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