Ch 8 - Nachos

Moroi Court, Dhampir Gym 3B - January 19th

Rose is distracted. She's lost count of her reps for the third time in a single session. Normally, she has tools to help her focus. Headphones blasting music as she counts to the beat, a checklist on her phone of different techniques for the day, but today, nothing is helping. Because today, Dimitri finally agreed to come to the gym with her.

After their run, they both talked about how much they had missed it—competing with one another in a healthy way. Dimitri had avoided it for what he thought were obvious reasons, but he decided he was ready to explore things in small doses. So they decided to change some of the weekly meetups to places outside the cafe, this one being at the gym. But Rose quickly realizes what a huge mistake this was. Foolishly, she'd forgotten what Dimitri looks like when he's working out; the way the muscles under his arms tense as he lifts weights, the scrunch of his brow as he pushes himself in pull-down reps, the small noises he makes…and she can't. Stop. Staring.

Meanwhile, Dimitri is trying to look anywhere but at Rose as she works her hamstrings and glutes on the leg curl machine. Something, it seems, the majority of the gym has no problem blatantly doing.

After losing count for the fourth time that day, a saving grace approaches Rose.

Dimitri sees a Guardian walk up to her from the corner of his eye, and assumes someone has finally decided to stop ogling at her and proposition her instead. A fire kindles in his belly and he yanks down harder than necessary on the machine. He is going to be sore tomorrow.

He hears Rose say something back, and when her tone isn't one of reprimand, his skepticism finally gets the better of him. Dimitri glances over just in time to see Rose waving him down. Two options ring in his mind. Either she needs help dismissing him in a politer way—one that she is almost incapable of doing, or this is someone she knows already and wants to introduce him. He wasn't really keen on putting faces to the names she mentions at lunch, but court is a small place and it's bound to happen one way or another. He takes a deep breath and lets go of the bar. Weights slam down as the machine settles and Dimitri slowly rises. He stands taller than he normally would, towering over the Guardian to Rose's left.

Rose gives him a funny look and he realizes he's clenching his jaw. "Dimitri, this is Guardian Jacobs. Have the two of you met?"

"No," Jacobs excitedly replies. "I don't believe I've had the honor." The way the Guardian looks at Dimitri, it's clear Rose isn't the one who's his type. Dimitri relaxes his stance a little at that, but just as soon as his mood shifts, the next thing Rose says causes it to drop again.

"He and some of the other guys have a little tournament going on in Gym 2. I told him they wouldn't stand a chance against us."

Dimitri doesn't respond.

Jacobs shifts his weight on his feet and puts a hand in his pocket. "We're doing some exercises in pairs and Rose was just telling me how great of a team you two are in a fight. I think her exact words were, 'stomp a puddle into our asses'."

"Ah," Dimitri finally says, with no further explanation.

"A man of few words," Jacobs jokes. "No wonder the two of you get on so well."

"What's that supposed to mean," Rose balks.

"That you never shut that lovely trap of yours." Jacobs jest is met with a jab in the shoulder.

"So what do you say? You guys in?"

"Yes!" "No." They answer in unison, the latter quieter than his female companion.

Rose's eyebrows quirk as she looks over to Dimitri, "What?"

Dimitri doesn't meet her waiting gaze and instead he says to Guardian Jacobs, "Thank you for the offer, but we'll be wrapping up soon."

"Are you kidding? We just got here," Rose laughs off his feeble excuse, and turns to Jacobs again. She begins asking him questions about how many pairs, ground rules, etc. oblivious to the whiteness of Dimitri's knuckles and the tensity in his back. She bends down to grab her stuff and gestures for Dimitri to follow, pushing him where he doesn't want to go.

"I said no!"

Rose and Jacobs stop and turn to Dimitri, startled by the rise in his voice, but before anyone can say anything else he's already walking away.

Rose watches as Dimitri leaves his stuff behind and heads straight for the exit, his hand roughly rubbing the scruff on his face. She quickly tells Jacobs nevermind and she'll catch him later.

"Uhh, yeah no problem. I'll just go ask Fischer over there. He's in need of a good ass whoopping." Jacobs awkwardly steps aside, allowing Rose to follow after the giant angry Russian.

When Dimitri makes it through the door Rose is on him like a whirlwind. "What the hell was that about? It was just a fight!"

Dimitri turns and glares, his voice somehow sounding more severe than it had in the gym despite it being just above a whisper. "It's not just a fight with you."

There's a pause.

Then Rose replies through gritted teeth, "Why not?"

There's a shift in his gaze. It doesn't soften, but it transforms. There's still anger there, but something about what Rose has said causes him to look aggrieved. She doesn't understand it, until he earnestly says, "You know why."

And it clicks. What he's running from. Who he's running from. As she looks at him, for the first time in a long time she sees someone else. Something else. Red eyes, harsh features, a flicker of someone she used to know snubbed out by animalistic severity. And for a moment, her anger gets the best of her. She hates him, the monster that he became. She hates everything he stole from them. Everything that used to be that she'll never have again. From the smaller things like the satisfaction of beating him in a fight, to the bigger things that she hasn't let herself think about in ages.

Dimitri turns to the side. Rose can't stand when he looks away from her during a conversation, but as he does his eyes shift. The red fades away and she's met with the familiar brown. The color of them comforting, calming, but the expression in them is what ultimately quiets the intrusive thoughts. They're sad. And maybe a little bit afraid.

Rose looks at her watch, then back up to Dimitri. "Your appointment, it's in an hour right?"

"Yeah," he says, sounding out of breath.

"Okay. I'm coming with you."

She doesn't wait for an answer. Rose marches back into the gym and gathers Dimitri's things he'd left behind. She considers taking a quick shower, but doesn't want to leave him alone in the hall with his thoughts, so she skips it and heads out.

Dr. Greene's Office - January 19th

During the session with Dr. Greene, they argue. Rose presses that he needs to take bigger steps to meet her halfway. Dimitri insists he isn't ready. He lays down his fears and explains to the Dr. how even the thought of sparring with Rose brings up too many horrors from the night on the bridge.

Rose asks if he's afraid of her. If what she did that night still haunted him.

But it's not her he's afraid of. It's her reaction to him.

"I'm afraid that either way, the outcome of the fight will end with Rose resenting me."

"Resenting you?"

"Can you explain this, Dimitri?" Dr. Greene tries to calm the situation and cultivate a healthy space for Dimitri to express his emotions.

He takes a shaky breath and looks over to Rose. "I don't want you to see me that way again. I wish I could say ever, but I know that's unrealistic. In other settings it's less likely, there's less of a connection to the past. If we fight, and I take it too far, I'm afraid you'll only look at me like I was that night and the nights thereafter. Like a threat, someone to fear. And if I hold back, I'm afraid you'll resent me still, for not pushing you and challenging you in the way that I could before."

"But I—"

Dr. Greene gently stops Rose, inviting her to sit with Dimitri's words for a moment before jumping to a defense. Rose does as directed, biting her tongue long enough to appease the others in the room.

When she feels they might be satisfied she launches into her objection. She doesn't put down or cast aside his feelings, she understands they are valid, but she also doesn't back down on the claims she made before. She's ready to start moving forward and ready to take those chances and wants Dimitri to take them with her.

It becomes clear this won't be solved in one day, or even one week, but it's a start. Another stone for Dimitri and Rose to turn over together to hopefully get closer to the people they aim to be, individually and together.

Emilia's Cafe - February 1st

"Sooo, how's therapy going?" Rose lifts up her hands in two little jabs, raising her brows with each hit into the air.

The question is meant to be light-hearted, teasing him into telling her when he thinks he'll be ready for a fight; it's been several weeks now and per Dr. Greene they should communicate with each other about it, but it sparks a snarky side to him.

"Fine. How's casual sex with whatshisface going?" He thinks to himself he's been hanging around Christian too much.

"Josh. You know his name," Rose gives him a warning look. Recently Rose has been spending her time with just one man. She wasn't particularly invested in Josh, he was a booty call at best, but playing the field had gotten a little tiring lately and with Josh she at least knew what to expect.

Dimitri leans back and lazily throws his arm over the top of the booth. "I blame it on American men all having the same generic names."

Rose tilts her head knowingly. "Oh so you wana come for our names now? What about Russian names?!"

"What about them?" Rose wonders why his accent all of a sudden sounds thicker.

"They make no sense," she defends. "Tell me how Alexander can also be Sasha."

Dimitri chuckles and it eggs Rose on.

"Or how the shortform of Nikita is Nikita but the shortform of Nikolai is Kolya!"

"How do you know these," Dimitri asks lightheartedly.

Rose smiles and light sparks in her eyes. "Oh and don't even get me started on Dimitri, like how is your shorform Dimka—"

It's out before she can stop herself, and her playful banter falls flat. There was only one person they both knew that called him Dimka.

Natasha.

Dimitri doesn't move from his relaxed position, but the expression on his face involuntarily begins to shift.

It's quiet for a while. Neither of them bother to hide behind sips of their drinks or comments on something else happening in the room. They haven't talked about her since the trial. They tended to wade around it, careful not to swim too close to the deep for fear of what could pull them under. Rose has no idea what makes her do it, but this time, she decides to dive in.

"Have you visited her?"

"Yes." His answer is immediate, unabashed.

"What?!" Her voice is practically a shriek and others nearby turn to stare. Quieter this time, she follows up with, "Why didn't you tell me?"

Dimitri's arm finally falls from the booth into his lap. "Why would I tell you?"

"Because we're—"

Rose begins to pause, but Dimitri doesn't let her.

"Because we're what, Rose?"

She looks him, dead in the eye, wondering what it is he's looking for. What is he hoping she'll say? Something's on the tip of her tongue, but without knowing what it is, she begins to feel flustered and anxious.

An intrusive buzzing sound comes from her purse and makes her jump. Why is she so skittish?

She reaches into the abyss and sees it's the alarm she set as a reminder for her afternoon shift. She is already five minutes late. Rose bolts up from her seat and snatches up her things. "Sorry, I have to go. See you on Thursday?"

She's already three strides from the table when she hears a soft, "No," behind her.

Rose darts back to the table, her expression wary and her eyes blinking rapidly. "What? Why not?"

He can't possibly be that upset with her. They hadn't even really fought.

Dimitri is calmly gathering his things as he reminds her, "I'll be traveling."

Fuck! He'd told her half a dozen times.

Dimtiri is going to Estonia with Christian for the next two weeks. There are some documents and a historian at the Academy's library Chris has been going on about for weeks and he'd somehow managed to get approval from Lissa on going. Last week when Dimitri told Rose everything was booked she had been excited for him, thinking a change in scenery would be great for him. But now that things are off, right before he leaves, a sense of unease creeps over her.

Rose swallows, unsure how to fix this or what to say in the next 30 seconds before she has to—

"Have a good shift." His voice is flat. It should make her worry, but instead it makes her pissed.

She wants to talk, she wants to fight, she wants to yell, but her phone buzzes again, this time it's a call from her shift manager. "Whatever I have to go. Have a safe flight." Rose's tone matches his and she rushes out.

/

The conversation irks her all day. His tone. The aloofness. The audacity! She obsesses over it. Creating conversations and playing out scenarios in her head until she comes up with the perfect argument. But even that doesn't satisfy her.

She texts Josh to come over, but even his presence isn't entertaining enough. Even her riding on top of him isn't distracting enough. Rose pushes into her knees trying to focus on the rolling motion from her abdomen and the bounce of her hips, but that phrase keeps popping into her head, Why would I tell you?

He should have told her! Yeah, they hadn't talked about her much, but it makes her feel like he's keeping secrets. It's the same feeling she had back at the Academy, the unsurity around Natasha: was Dimitri seeing her romantically, was what he told Rose about his feelings for her a lie, was starting a family with this Moroi woman more important than anything they could share? All of these things had plagued her for months and it caused a huge rift in their relationship. Now, here she was behind bars still finding ways to fuck with Rose.

A strand of sweat forms along her hairline as she begins to move her hips faster. There's a small moan below her but it's drowned out by her thoughts.

The woman attempted to ruin my life, the least he could do is tell me what she had to say!

Rose leans back onto her hands, tilting Josh's cock into a new angle.

I tell Dimitri everything! I've gone to fucking therapy with him for christ's sake! He can't be bothered to tell me this one thing?

There's another noise below her, one that she ignores as she moves at a furious pace.

I mean where does he come off asking me to define—

Something changes inside her. Rose stops moving and looks down. When it's clear what happened, her irritated glare is fixed on Josh.

"S-sorry," he says, out of breath and flustered. "I didn't mean to—" He sits up on his elbows. "Do you want me to," he glances down below Rose's waist. It would be pointless.

She gets off him, her cheeks flushed and jaw clenched as she orders him with quiet severity, "Out."

He starts gathering his things, knowing he's fucked up and not wanting to stick around to poke the bear.

Rose throws on a baggy tshirt and pulls her hair up into a messy bun before calling over her shoulder to him. "Wait."

"Yeah," Josh peeks his head in through the open bedroom door looking hopeful.

Rose's voice is as flat as it was at coffee as she asks, "Do you have Uber eats?"

"Uh yeah. Why?"

25 minutes later Rose is sitting alone on her couch, freshly showered and with a very large plate of nachos in her lap.

Somehow the greasy food is making her thoughts more clear, or maybe she just finally burned all her anger out.

Yes, she still feels a little irritated that Dimitri didn't tell her, but she has to consider some other things. Despite Rose's feelings about the woman, and feelings she knew deep down Dimitri shared, the two did have a connection from long before Rose even knew him. A friendship. It would be hard for him to lose that after losing so much. And just because Rose tells him anything and everything doesn't mean he has to as well. She hopes he would want to, but it would be unfair for her to expect it of him.

Rose licks a glob of queso off her thumb and reaches for her phone laying beside her. She opens her contacts and begins to type out a message.

A/N: Sorry this one is so late, I've had a chaotic week. Also, I realize Uber Eats probably does not exist in the confines of court, but I didn't feel like creating a new food delivery service just to fit this world :D.