A/N: Hello!

This chapter will define the final direction this story will take and, therefore, I think it's a good time to tell you that we are very close to the end. The next one will be the last chapter but after that we will have an epilogue. Wow I can't believe we've already reached this point so place your bets, how will all this love tangle end?

Thank you so much for sticking with me on this story :)

See you in two weeks

Golden

Ed and Eddie entered the house chatting happily once again about what they had seen at the museum and their talk soon had Rose poking her head around the doorway leading to the kitchen.

"Hi, Mom." Eddie said as he walked over to his mother to hug her.

Rose kissed his forehead and gave Ed a warm smile before saying. "Wow, looks like someone had a lot of fun at the museum."

"Sure did! Besides, we went for ice cream on the way over here too, it was great!" Eddie exclaimed cheerfully.

Rose smiled before raising an eyebrow. "And you didn't bring me any?"

Eddie covered his mouth with both hands. "Whoops..."

Ed grinned and walked over to her. "I'll bring you some tomorrow when I get back from work, what do you say?"

Rose stood up. "If it's strawberry I think I can forgive you for forgetting about this poor woman."

Ed laughed. "Strawberry it is then." He said before giving her a brief kiss on the lips.

Pulling away, Ed turned thoughtful at the sight of Rose's smiling face. Her and Eddie as his wife and son welcoming him warmly every day... Is that the future he wanted?

"Something wrong, Ed?" Rose asked, noticing him pensive.

Ed smiled again. "Nothing, I just got caught up thinking about some things."

"You sure?"

At Ed's nod, Rose kissed his cheek before starting to walk away. "I'll go check on the bread."

"Great, you haven't made homemade bread in a while."

For his part, Eddie rushed into the living room to sit down on a sofa so that, after taking off his shoes, he could kneel on the armrest so he could turn on the radio.

"Since I was going to use the oven for dinner tonight, I thought it would be a good idea to use it to make some bread." Rose said from the kitchen.

"Wonderful idea." Ed said from the living room. Just as he dropped the keys into the little chest they were kept in, an envelope caught his eye as the paper was a little thicker than normal plus it had a fancy engraving on the top left and bottom right corner. "Rose?"

"Yes?" She asked peeking out again from the kitchen this time wiping her hands on a rag.

"What's this? Is it yours?" He asked as he turned the envelope over and realised it was open.

Rose bit her bottom lip before answering. "It's actually for both of us. It's an invitation."

"Invita-?" Ed interrupted himself feeling a cold sweat run down his spine. No way... Please don't let it be that.

Feeling his mouth suddenly go dry, Ed pulled out the contents of the envelope with slightly trembling hands and when he could finally read what it was he felt a painful pang straight to his heart. It was the invitation to Winry and Russell's wedding, which was scheduled for two months from now.

He thought all these months would have prepared him better to face this moment, but he was completely wrong. The pain that was expanding in his chest was twice as painful as watching Wynona get married had been. He was supposed to be fully prepared for the inevitable by now as he was convinced that Winry's future and happiness lay with Russell but now he was there, feeling his world crumble thanks to that simple piece of paper. Perhaps he had sought to hurt himself by deluding himself that Winry's wedding was further in the future since she had told him that the wedding wasn't something that was in her immediate plans and even a small part of him was trying to cling to the possibility of that wedding not happening, but he had been sorely mistaken because such plans were practically just around the corner.

"Ed?"

Ed startled slightly at being pulled out of his thoughts. Noticing Rose's concerned look and Eddie's curious gaze, who had been distracted from his mission to change radio stations by noticing him freezing so suddenly.

"Are you okay?" Rose asked as she began to approach him from the kitchen.

Of course not... Ed inhaled deeply before forcing a smile onto his face. "Yeah."

He lied as he returned the invitation to the envelope before placing it back on top of the dresser. "In two months, huh? I think I don't have any commitments for that day but either way I'll confirm it tomorrow with the agenda I have in the office."

"So you're okay with us going then?" Rose asked unable to entirely hide her disbelief and slight sadness as she realised that the invitation was affecting Ed in a certain way.

Ed decided to evade that question. "Geez, I think I'm going to need a new suit."

Although her hesitation about whether or not to press the issue was noticeable, Rose gave in to his attempt to deflect the conversation. "No matter what suit you wear, you always look so handsome." She said making an effort to smile in a matter-of-fact way.

Ed forced a laugh. "Sometimes I wonder how good your eyesight is."

Eddie let out a chuckle at his comment and continued his work with the radio before Ed made his way over to where Rose was standing. "Come on, I'll help you with dinner."

Rose nodded and followed him into the kitchen trying her best to distract him as much as possible while they finished cooking dinner for the day.

Hours later, Rose lay fast asleep with her head resting against Ed's left arm while one of her hands rested on his chest, seeking to be as close to him as possible. For his part, Ed had been awake for some time now, staring at the dark ceiling of the room. Frustrated with the whirlwind of emotions he was experiencing, he brought his automail's arm to his face, resting it over his eyes, hoping the coolness of the metal would help clear his mind a little.

Winry... you'll soon be Winry Tringham... Tringham... Tringham... Damn Tringham! He snorted heavily and gave himself a light smack on the head before returning his automail to its previous position. What's wrong with me? I have no right to feel bad about this. I was supposed to have walked away from her so Winry could be happy and I was aware that that happiness was surely going to end up happening next to that Tringham jerk plus the two of them were obviously already on the road to marriage. They were already engaged since I got back! I knew it! So why am I torturing myself like this?... Why does it hurt so much? I've been through it once so everything should be easier now... He snorted again before pulling his arm away from his face so he could turn his face in the direction of the woman next to him. How can I be thinking about how much I'd like to be in Russell's shoes when I'm dating Rose? And on top of it all just when I was considering the idea of marrying her... He sighed. I'm such a fucking idiot. Is this what my affection and appreciation for Rose is worth? Am I really thinking of calling this love when at the first mention of Winry's marriage I completely forget where my relationship with Rose is at regardless of the fact that I've already cheated on her once? Asshole. Asshole. Asshole.

He carefully brushed a strand of hair away from Rose's forehead. At the slight movement, Rose snuggled closer against him, drawing a sigh from Ed. Rose and Eddie always welcome me with open arms, and they're good people. I'd like to stay with them... pretend everything's fine and try to be happy with them, maybe be a real family, but... I... I can't do this. I want to stop Winry's wedding even though I know I shouldn't and the fact that I'm thinking about it means that maybe I shouldn't live with Rose anymore. Al was right, I'm hurting her and if I can't get these feelings out of my heart how can I pretend to make my life with her? I can't keep doing this to Rose or Eddie. He exhaled heavily. I'd like to stay by their side but I don't deserve it. Not when I'm not capable of loving Rose the way she deserves. Eddie deserves to have a good father, not a pathetic attempt at a father like me, incapable of loving his mother because he is madly in love with another woman who would never be with me...

Those thoughts stayed with Ed for the rest of the night, keeping him from falling asleep.

Ed was in the office with a small pile of papers waiting to be reviewed and signed, but as the day progressed the only thing that changed was that a couple more papers arrived that his colleagues left him with worried looks on their faces as they noticed him so withdrawn and with dark circles under his eyes.

Before leaving the house, Rose had insisted on putting him a small bag of ice to try to reduce the dark circles under his eyes but Ed couldn't bear it for that long as it meant being within inches of Rose and since the day before his feelings and thoughts about his future with her had been a mess. So, with a forced smile, Ed got up from the chair Rose had asked him to sit in, and left after thanking her and claiming he had to get to work as he was waiting for an urgent report. However, before leaving the room Ed had noticed the look of sadness on Rose's face which made him feel even worse.

Back in the office Ed simply read and reread the same documents over and over again as his brain could hardly register the words but at least it was enough of a distraction to avoid conversation with the others as the raised eyebrows and murmurs he had provoked with his behaviour did not go unnoticed by Ed.

With a sigh Ed dropped his head against the wood of his desk, fixing his gaze on the calendar resting on it. With his automail hand he flipped through the pages until the date of Winry's wedding appeared on the calendar making him even more miserable. He hadn't even checked his agenda as he had told Rose but he was almost certain that he didn't have any missions or trips scheduled for that date so the prospect of being there, with Rose by his arm as they watched Winry and Russell say their wedding vows was so high that it was giving him a terrible knot in his stomach.

Closing his eyes tightly, Ed lifted his head slightly from the desk and then lightly tapped it again and again against the edge of the furniture.

Winry's getting married in two months to Tringham... And if things go on like this it makes sense for me to marry Rose... but... I just... I can't do that. I can't do that to her and I can't do that to myself. That would make the mistake I didn't want to accept even bigger. ... I can't continue with this pretense.

While Winry had been in his thoughts the night before, Rose and his relationship with her had also made their constant appearance reminding him that he had decided to give himself a chance with her and that he was failing by not being able to stop thinking about another woman. He was aware that, although he was trying, he had not fallen in love with Rose as he had hoped and his common sense was telling him that in such a case it was better to break up with her since what kind of future together could he offer her if he could not stop thinking about Winry despite knowing that she would soon be another man's wife and that he had accepted that fate when he separated from her? Besides, with the discovery of Winry and Russell's impending wedding, it was becoming increasingly difficult to shape the idea of ending up completely and hopelessly in love with Rose.

However, the thought of walking away from Rose and Eddie was also painful so Ed hoped that with the clarity of the 3 cups of coffee he drank in the office along with the paperwork he was supposed to fill out would focus his mind enough to give way to logic and accept that the plan he had started thinking about in the early hours of the morning was the best he could do. In a way it had come true, the more he thought about it the more he realised that it was the best he could do in his current circumstances but he was finding it hard to take that last step that would end up sealing his new destiny. It was the best thing for everyone even though it might be his last chance to try to be happy.

Stop being a fucking coward and do it already!

At the reproach from his own mind, Ed gave himself a final thump against the edge of the desk, inhaled deeply and stood up, realizing until that moment that the office was empty.

"What the-?" Raising his eyes to the clock on the opposite wall he realised it was lunchtime. It had vaguely registered in his mind Fuery and Breda's attempts to invite him to lunch but so deep in thought had he been that he didn't even think he had answered them.

However, knowing that Riza was usually late in going out for lunch because of how dedicated she was to her work, Ed walked over to the inner office door and knocked on it with his fist a couple of times, waiting for a few seconds without getting any response.

"Damn it, why just now?" Ed cursed as he leaned his forehead against the door as he kept pounding the door again and again with his fist.

"What's wrong with you, Fullmetal?"

Ed turned to meet Roy's dark gaze. "What are you doing here?"

Roy looked at him with a raised eyebrow as he walked over to his desk to set down the mug he was carrying. "Back from the mess hall?" He said rhetorically as he gestured with his head to the mug he had just set down.

Ed averted his gaze from him to stare at the door. "And Riza?"

Roy shrugged. "Eating. And she's probably taking her time this time because General Johnson is hogging her with a case. That man ruined our nice meal and at this rate everything looks like I'll have to go home alone and on top of that I'll have to deal with changing Richard's nappy when I get home." Roy concluded with a sigh.

"Damn!"

Roy raised an eyebrow again. "Any specific reason why you have such an urgency to see her? Don't tell me I'll have to defend my turf." He added at last in a joking tone trying to lighten the mood due to the fact that he could tell Ed was upset.

"I'm not in the mood for your fucking jokes."

"Well, well. So we got off on the wrong foot this morning, huh." Roy said nonchalantly at Ed's tone.

"I told you I'm not in the mood to be dealing with you."

Roy approached him carrying the mug he had previously left on his desk. "Yeah and something tells me the worst thing I can do right now is let you off the hook with that lousy attitude of yours." Before Ed could rebut, Roy moved to his side to open the door to Riza's office. "Come."

Ed didn't move. "Riza's not here."

"Oh, please. When this was my office you didn't hesitate to barge in whenever you wanted." Roy said as he held the door open from inside the office.

Ed couldn't help a slight smile. "Okay, but if Riza sees us in here I'll put the whole blame on you."

Roy rolled his eyes. "Yeah, whatever. Stop playing dumb and get the hell in there."

Once Ed entered, Roy closed the door and gestured with a nod of his head for him to sit on the office couch while he crouched down in front of Riza's desk to search through her drawers.

"What are you doing?" Ed asked.

"Aha!" Roy said as he stood up with a bottle of whiskey in his hands.

Ed raised an eyebrow. "Since when does Riza drink during work hours?"

"Never. This is mine."

Ed continued with his eyebrow raised. "And how come she's okay with you leaving that on her desk?"

"My charms work wonders, you know," Roy replied with a smug grin. "Besides this is quite useful for emergency situations and I think I'm experienced enough to detect when I'm facing one."

Ed snorted as he leaned his head back against the back of the chair. "Stop all that talk and give me some of that will you?"

Roy didn't answer as he poured some whiskey into his mug and another he'd taken from one of the drawers. He walked over to Ed to give it to him but when the young man only extended his hand towards him, Roy pulled it away causing the blond to turn a frown on him.

"Something you want to say?"

Ed was quiet for a few seconds before mumbling. "Please."

"Good boy." Roy said as he handed him the mug barely dodging the kick Ed wanted to give him. He then sat down in one of the chairs that sat in front of the desk turning it so he was facing in the direction of the young man. "Something you want to share, Fullmetal?"

For all answer Ed took the contents of his mug and held it out to Roy for a refill. With a sigh Roy reached down to take the bottle and then poured him more whisky but a smaller amount than last time.

At Ed's frown at the contents of his mug, Roy said. "As I recall you had gone to some sessions to help you with your little problem and it seems they had helped you manage your intake better when we went out for a drink with the unit so I don't intend to be the one to take the blame for ruining your progress completely, so that's all you're getting for today, young man."

"Damn Mustang." Ed muttered grumpily as he took a small sip from his mug.

"You'd better stop your tantrum and tell me what's eating at you. It's obvious you've had your head in the clouds since you came in this morning."

Ed drummed his automail fingers against the cup before replying. "I want to quit the military right now."

Roy took a sip from his mug before saying. "Sorry, Fullmetal, but remember it's not that easy. I have good news for you about that though, you might be able to get out of the army a couple of years early. We hadn't told you but you can probably be free in 4 more years."

"That's too long! I need to quit now."

Roy was quiet for a few seconds watching the young man intently. He didn't understand his sudden urgency to get out of the army when he seemed to have already gotten used to his new lifestyle and even, though perhaps a bit adventurous on his part, he believed he was enjoying it as he now even had a home and a partner eagerly awaiting him at the end of each day.

Knowing it was a risky comment but likely to take the conversation back to the source he suspected was causing such confusion and despair in the young man, Roy joked. "What's the matter, Fullmetal? What's the urgency? Don't tell me you want the pension money to elope with Miss Thomas."

"Will you get the fuck off my back!" Ed exclaimed standing up and with the obvious intention of throwing the mug at him but seemed to have changed his mind at the last moment as he simply tightened his grip before downing the rest of the liquid in one gulp.

Roy looked at him with a raised eyebrow before speaking in a calm voice. "Ed, tell me the truth. What is the reason for this sudden urgency and what do Miss Thomas and Miss Rockbell have to do with it?"

"But how did you know-?"

Roy interrupted him. "It's more than obvious that you still have feelings for your mechanic. Don't look at me like that, Riza confirmed it for me although I could almost say it wasn't necessary because the look on your face on Gala night were the biggest confirmation I could have had, plus I know perfectly well that those kinds of feelings don't disappear overnight."

"You know something else?"

Roy drank some more from his cup before answering. "Just suspicions."

"Like what?"

"That something happened between you two, months ago when you went to get your automail repaired for the first time after the Gala."

Ed gulped. "You sneaky bastard."

Roy smirked smugly. "And with that I got all the confirmation I needed."

Ed blushed slightly trying to disguise it as he drank more from his cup but he'd forgotten he'd already emptied it so he just sighed heavily.

Roy turned serious. "Ed, even you aren't dumb enough to be unaware of those feelings so tell me, why are you in a relationship with Miss Thomas if you're head over heels in love with Miss Rockbell?"

Ed leaned his head back against the back of the chair before answering. "I know I'm a jerk who doesn't deserve it, but I was trying to give myself a chance to be happy with Rose.

"Firstly, I completely differ in that opinion of yours and secondly, I need you to explain yourself. Why can't you be happy next to Miss Rockbell?"

"Doesn't that patch let you see straight? Winry is engaged to Tringham." Ed replied as he set the cup down beside him.

Roy shrugged his shoulders. "And? It's not the end of the world. As long as she's not married there's still hope isn't there?"

"I'm beginning to think you and Al are conspiring against me."

"That would be a good idea although I'd rather say we'd be doing it to your advantage. I may not know her as well as you do, but I get the impression that it's highly probable that Miss Rockbell is just as much in love with you as you are with her."

"Don't tell me that, please." Ed said exhaling heavily as he ran his hands over his face. "We can't be together."

"Oh yeah? Says who?"

"Fate, Truth, life... whatever you prefer to call whatever it is that put us on this path."

"I'd rather know more details before I can have an opinion on that. What happened between you two that time?"

Ed averted his gaze to the side. "Well... we were together, we talked and well... we slept together."

"That's to be expected." Roy said casually. "So explain to me, if the two of you were apparently able to talk about your feelings and express them in bed, why didn't you stay together? I mean, even if it's not the nicest thing in the world, you could have broken up with Rose and she could have broken up with Russell. Issue settled."

"Like it was that easy..."

"What am I missing?"

Ed exhaled heavily. "Remember, Mustang. Russell had his accident just when Winry and I were together."

"Oh... I see." Roy was quiet for a few seconds before adding. "So she broke up with you?"

Ed shook his head. "No, I did."

"You must have had a huge burden of conscience to decide to walk away from Miss Rockbell of your own free will."

"No... yeah... well, it's complicated." He sighed. "Obviously I felt guilty about cheating on Rose and causing Winry to cheat on Russell just when he had an accident because he wanted to go see her but I also realised at the time that I wasn't any good for Winry. I mean if you put Russell and I on a scale, it would immediately tip towards him. He can and has offered Winry everything I never could. Stability, love, companionship and support while all I have done is bring her suffering. If it had not been for me, she would not have been burdened with a tremendous burden of guilt. If you had seen her... she was a complete mess."

"I can imagine. Regardless of who owns her heart, Russell has been with her for a while and it must not have been easy to come so close to losing another loved one."

"So now you understand why I did what I did?"

"I can understand the logic behind what you did but it seems to me you were too hard on yourself. You could have given yourselves some time while Russell's situation improved and then tried to pursue a romantic relationship."

"You think I'm willing to make her suffer one more time?"

"And you don't think your decision didn't hurt her enough?"

Ed ducked his head, remembering Winry's teary face from that day at the restaurant. "You see?... I always end up hurting her one way or another."

Roy sighed. "Listen, Ed, maybe I'm guilty of taking sides because I have more dealings with you than Russell, but I can't imagine anyone more perfect for Miss Rockbell than you." He increased his voice volume a little to keep Ed from interrupting him. "I can't say you've been a saint to her because yes, you've made several mistakes and hurt her but you've never done it intentionally or am I wrong?" Ed shook his head. "You didn't get to be with her because you got caught up in the search for the philosopher's stone, the homunculi and ending up trapped in another world but I'm sure what you long for most right now is to be with her for the rest of your lives and, from what Riza has told me, Miss Rockbell has got that cheerful, optimistic spark of a girl back because of you. Even before she knew you were back, Riza noticed her with a better attitude since that time they went out to lunch together to ask us to come and see you and on the Gala night her eyes lit up whenever you came into her field of vision, except of course for the moments when she saw you happily dancing with Rose. And, although I don't spend as much time with her as Riza does, I have to tell you that Miss Rockbell doesn't seem to be completely herself when she's with Russell. We certainly believe that Russell helped her smile again after her grandmother's death but, having known her for years, I get the impression that her happiness seems to be somewhat restricted when she is with Russell. There is something about her that is very different to how she was before you left and even during your years of absence and after her grandmother's death. It's like she's a dull star, like she's controlling herself to a certain extent to be the kind of girlfriend Russell would expect. As if she's not really in love with him the way Tringham is with her."

"If you'd seen her the day of Russell's accident, you'd have realized right away how in love she is with him."

Roy snorted. "Ed, don't be an idiot. She was obviously going to be seriously affected. Both by her affection for Russell and by the guilt she must have felt."

Ed ruffled his hair with one hand. "Okay, yeah, maybe, I admit it, but if at the end of the day the two of them are still together it's for a reason." His gaze saddened. "If she hadn't fallen in love with him all this time, she wouldn't be marrying him in two months, would she? I mean, I was considering marrying Rose myself but I've realised I can't do that."

"Huh? What are you talking about? Have they already set a date for the wedding?"

Ed nodded his head. "Yes. The invitation came yesterday."

Roy put a hand to the back of his neck. "I guess I'll have to check the mail when I get home."

"That's why I need to get out of the army. I want to get away. I need time to find myself and find the path I should take from now on. I tried to prepare myself for when this time would come but I failed. I can't be around Winry knowing her as the wife of another man let alone can I be there witnessing the moment of their marital union."

"Wow wow, wait a minute, what about Miss Thomas and little Eddie? Are they coming with you?"

Ed shook his head as his expression turned sad. "No, I'm... I'm going to break up with Rose."

Roy stared at him in silence for a few moments before speaking. "First I'd like to know, did Miss Thomas find out what happened between you and Miss Rockbell?" Ed nodded. "Wow, now that's surprising. Not everyone forgives an infidelity just like that. Ever since you started your relationship I've seen you two as an ordinary couple so I didn't even imagine you had any serious conflict. In fact that was the only thing stopping me from believing 100% in my theory that something had happened with you and Miss Rockbell."

Ed sighed. "Believe it or not, when I got back from back East I wanted to break up with her but Rose insisted on us giving it a try for both our sake and Eddie's."

"Jeez, Ed, that kid has become your weakness."

Ed shrugged.

"I have to tell you, I think it's idiotic that you decided to continue your relationship with Miss Thomas knowing that you were in love with someone else."

Ed covered his face with his hands. "I know. I shouldn't have done it but... I didn't want to be alone."

Roy set his mug down on the desk and walked over to the couch to sit next to Ed after placing the blond's mug on the floor. After placing a hand on his shoulder he said. "Idiotic yes, but I think I can understand your reasoning. It must not have been easy being alone in an unfamiliar world."

"Like you don't have a clue."

"And yet you plan to let Miss Rockbell marry another man when she's probably the only woman who can really make you happy?"

Ed removed his hands from his face to look Roy in the eye. "I told you. I don't deserve her."

Roy tightened his grip on the young man's shoulder slightly. "Listen, Ed, you've got to stop being so hard on yourself. I'm telling you from experience. I know first hand what it's like to feel undeserving and to almost lose the woman you love. I came so close to doing that it almost broke my heart and I don't want you to have to go through that... well any more than you already have. Try it Ed, find Miss Rockbell and try to save your relationship. As long as she doesn't get married there's still a chance."

Ed was quiet for a few seconds staring into the black-haired man's eyes before averting his gaze to the front. "I can't do it, Roy. I really can't." A lone tear escaped him which he hurried to wipe away. "What I want most is to be with Winry but I can't do that to her. She's rebuilding her life to leave behind the chaos I caused by intervening in it. Winry deserves to be happy and I'm not going to stand in her way."

"What if her happiness really is with you?"

With a sad smile, Ed replied. "I stopped being so optimistic a long time ago."

Roy exhaled heavily. "So you're completely sure about getting away from her and Rose?"

"Yeah."

"You are definitely the most stubborn person I have ever met." Roy stood up and began to pace around the office with one hand on his chin thoughtfully. "I'm not happy to have to back you up on this specific instance but I'm not one to stop you, not when I did pretty much the same thing you're pretending to do. So if you really want to go through with this, I think I have an option for you."

"Tell me."

"There is no way we can let you completely free of the army but we can get you away from here if you wish. The Aerugo trade route has only just been established and we need soldiers to act as overseers and ambassadors between Amestris and Aerugo, which means not only staying on the western border but also travelling within Aerugo to attend to whatever business the military commander of that area requires."

"I thought a group of soldiers had already been sent."

"There are, but Major Johnson... let's just say he's not exactly doing a good job as ambassador to Amestris. In fact, Riza even thought of you for the position, but since you seemed to be fine with your current life..."

"Yeah, yeah, I understand. When can I leave?"

"We can start with the paperwork today and if all goes well, you'll have your official assignment by noon tomorrow."

"That quick, huh."

"We don't need to start it today. You can take a few days to think about it."

"No, I want to get away from here as soon as possible." Ed told him with a determined look. "Are you sure Riza will agree to transfer me? After all she's the boss here."

Roy walked back over to the couch where Ed was sitting to put a hand on Ed's shoulder. "Don't worry, I'll take care of telling her everything. She probably won't exactly agree with all this but I'm sure she'll understand. I just want you to confirm me something." He looked him straight in the eye. "Edward, are you completely sure of your decision?"

"Yes."

"Even if it practically means you're running away?"

"I'm not running away. I'm going to talk to Rose and Eddie before I leave. Eventually they'll realise I ended up doing them a favour."

"What about Miss Rockbell?"

Ed bit his lower lip before answering. "It's the best thing for everyone."

"I actually disagree with you." He sighed. "But if this is what you've decided, there's nothing else I can do. If there's one thing I've learned in all this time, it's how stubborn you can be." Roy said before bending down to pick up the cup that had been left on the floor to set it on the desk. Once he did, he spoke again. "We'll see you tomorrow at noon."

"Huh? But my shift isn't over yet."

"Go Ed, you've got a lot of things to take care of."

Ed cracked a slight smile before standing up. "Thank you." He walked over to him before adding. "By the way, if it's not too much to ask, please don't tell anyone where I was assigned. I don't want anyone to find me."

"What about Al?"

"I'll talk to him. Besides him no one must know where I am, do I have your word?"

Roy shrugged. "I suppose. After all there's nothing I can do about it."

"And you think you can convince Riza to keep my secret? If she tells Winry it'll all be for nothing."

Roy sighed heavily. "You're putting me on the spot. You know how fond Riza is of Winry."

"I know and that's why I'm asking you, because I know you're the only one who could convince her to do it. I'll talk to her tomorrow, too, but I need you to-"

"I'll pave the way for you." Roy said with a wry smile. "Okay, I understand. I'll take care of it but you're going to owe me a huge favour with all of this okay?"

Ed smiled slightly. "Believe me it's going to be the one time I'm going to feel grateful to be indebted to you. So much so that I need to ask one more favour of you. Anything Winry, Rose or Eddie need please support them for me. No matter what it is. And all my resources from my state account should be at their disposal."

"Don't worry, I'll take care of it. They're going to miss you a lot but Riza and I will take care of them until you're ready to come back."

Ed extended his left hand towards him. "Thank you, Roy. Really thank you very much."

Roy shook his hand and smiled sincerely at him. "You're a pain in the ass, Ed, but it's been a pleasure working with you. I hope this time away helps you think things through and find the peace and happiness you so richly deserve."

Ed shrugged. "I can't guarantee anything, but I'll do what I can."

"I'll remind you tomorrow anyway but with you it doesn't hurt to insist a couple of times: you have to contact us when you get to the border and during the course of your role as ambassador, okay? Just because you're going over there doesn't mean you're forgetting about us."

Ed let out a light chuckle. "All right, I will."

Ed walked home with his head full of thoughts about what he would do when he confronted Rose. He wasn't looking forward to the conversation that would soon begin but this time he had to be firm in his decisions. He wouldn't make the same mistake he had made months ago by agreeing to be with Rose. She didn't deserve that even though Ed would miss her and Eddie's company dearly.

Upon entering the house, Ed soon found her in the kitchen putting away the things that were in a couple of paper bags that Rose had brought with her after doing some shopping after work.

"Ed?" Rose asked in surprise before smiling broadly at him. "I didn't know you were getting off work early." She said as she moved towards him to kiss him but before she could get close enough Ed stopped her by placing his hands on her shoulders. "Ed?"

"Where's Eddie?"

"I just sent him to his room to start his homework."

"Good." He removed his hands from her shoulders to take one of Rose's hands. "I need to talk to you."

Rose could only manage a nod as she let Ed guide her to one of the chairs at the dining room table. She didn't like Ed's demeanour and tone at all as, for some reason, her heart was squeezing painfully at the uncertainty of what Ed wanted to say to her.

"Rose, I won't be working at Central anymore. I'm getting my new assignment tomorrow."

"But how? You're performing excellently here. I don't understand why Riza would send you elsewhere knowing that Eddie and I are here." Rose said slightly upset.

"It wasn't a sudden assignment. I asked to be transferred."

"Oh... I see." Rose brought her hands to the surface of the table and fiddled nervously with her thumbs. "And what about Eddie and me? It's too little time for us to manage our move and Eddie loves his school friends very much."

Ed pulled her hands apart to take one of hers. "That won't be necessary, Rose." He stared into her eyes before continuing. "We need to break up."

"What?" Rose asked in a breathy whisper before bringing her other hand up to lightly squeeze Ed's. "Don't say that, Ed. We don't have to resort to that. This is sudden but we'll find a way to make it work."

Ed shook his head. "Rose, I asked for my transfer precisely so I wouldn't keep imposing you my presence." Rose opened her mouth to interject but Ed wouldn't let her. "It was a mistake to have continued our relationship after what I did to you, I should never have agreed to it."

A tear escaped Rose although she tried her best to smile. "Don't say that Ed, I'm happy with you. There's nothing I have to reproach you for, we both agreed that was in the past didn't we? There's no reason for you to have to leave, Ed." She said as she brought a hand to his cheek.

"Even if I'm not capable of falling in love with you?"

Rose's hand stopped before it reached his cheek. She returned it to the table and bit her lower lip before replying. "Time, we simply need time. I'm willing to wait as long as it takes until you fall in love with me."

Ed sighed. "Rose, don't do this to yourself." He gave Rose's hand he was still holding a light squeeze. "I am very fond of you and I am tremendously grateful for your support and for accepting me into your home but I… I can't reciprocate your feelings. My affection for you is completely different from the love a couple should have for each other." He inhaled deeply before continuing. "I'm in love with Winry and I think it's going to be very difficult for that to change."

Rose let go of his hand and stood abruptly from her chair as tears began to run freely down her cheeks. "But Winry's marrying someone else! You don't stand a chance with her!"

Ed tried hard not to show how painful his words had been. It was the truth but he still wasn't dealing well with that fact. "I'm not breaking up with you so I can go with her. I'm doing it so I don't make you suffer anymore, Rose. You deserve someone who loves you with their whole being and, unfortunately, that's not me."

Rose covered her face with her hands. "Don't do this to me, Ed. Please, I need you by my side. Eddie too. Don't leave us."

"Rose..." Ed stood up and pulled her into his arms. Rose resisted slightly at first but soon buried her face in his chest as she ran her hands over his back. "You don't know how I wish I could have spared you this suffering. I really wanted to fall in love with you. I tried but..." He inhaled deeply. "I think I knew from the beginning that my feelings for Winry wouldn't go away so easily. And that's also why I offer you an apology, for taking advantage of you even though I knew there was no future for us."

Rose denied against his chest. "You didn't take advantage of me... I wanted... no, I want to be with you."

Ed tightened his embrace. "I'm sorry, Rose, but I can't keep doing that to you. I can't and won't be with you when my mind is filled with thoughts of another woman. I tried to restrict my thoughts of Winry but in the end it backfired and now I can't stop thinking about her. Do you realise it? A simple invitation left me in this state, so I don't even want to imagine what could happen if we were still together... You don't deserve that. Please understand."

Rose continued to cry clinging to Ed and didn't answer him. Ed leaned his head against hers and held her tightly, feeling terrible about how he was making her suffer.

After a few minutes, Rose murmured. "Are you absolutely sure about this?"

"Yes."

"Even though you know you can never be with Winry?"

Ed swallowed the painful lump that formed in his throat. "I'm aware of that and I accept it."

Rose pulled her face away from Ed's chest and looked up at him with teary eyes. "Then why are you doing this to yourself, Ed? You can try to be happy with us."

Ed brought his hand to the back of Rose's neck to draw her face once more against his chest then ran that hand through the brunette's hair. "I could do that yes, but it wouldn't be fair to anyone. Besides I need some time to myself. I need to get away. Maybe that will help me see things more clearly so I can decide what the hell I need to do with my life."

"I understand... then I'll wait for you."

Ed sighed. "Don't do it, Rose. I don't want you to delude yourself so please find your happiness." He pulled away from her slightly to wipe her cheeks with his thumbs. "You and Eddie are going to be very happy. You don't need me to be happy, you'll see." He said giving a slight reassuring smile.

"How can you say that, Ed? It's because of you that I'm here today, because of you and your words I got back on my feet."

"You give me too much credit, Rose. I really didn't do anything. Besides you supported me then too, let alone now."

"Of course you did, Ed. Quite a lot. Your courage and conviction to move forward despite the odds gave me strength and taught me that I shouldn't let my past define my future."

"And yet I'm an idiot who ends up hurting you in the worst possible way."

Rose ducked her head for a few seconds before meeting his eyes again. "I can't tell you that this doesn't hurt me because it really does and a lot." She said as a couple more tears escaped her. "I was so happy to see you back, to know that you were alive and when you started to reciprocate my feelings... I was the happiest woman in the world." She inhaled deeply to keep her voice from breaking. "It hurts me to know that you don't think you can love me like I love you but..."

Ed closed his eyes momentarily and inhaled deeply, preparing himself for the countless reproaches Rose was more than entitled to. However, Rose surprised him by placing her hand on his cheek, causing his eyes to flutter open.

She inhaled deeply before speaking. "I also have to admit that I was wrong in trying to force you to love me. I refused to accept that we wouldn't end up together, and not only that even married, officially having you as Eddie's father. And even now I'm still struggling to accept it but I can begin to see that I was wrong too. I can't tell you that I'm ready to let you go, let alone that I'm not jealous that Winry owns your heart. So..." She lowered her gaze. "I'm sorry, but I'm still not at the point where I can tell you that I wish you and Winry had ended up together. Sorry."

Ed placed his hand over Rose's and gave it a squeeze. "You don't have to apologise. I understand. I know I'm putting you in a complicated situation and I would totally understand if you ended up hating me." He said then gently removed Rose's hand from his face.

"I don't hate you Ed, I could never hate you."

"Are you serious?"

"Of course, you are and will remain someone very special in my life. The fact that you don't l-love me-" Without intending to, her voice cracked so she had to pause slightly before continuing. "That... that doesn't mean I'm not very fond of you as a valued friend. You don't know how much I wish things could have been different and you could have fallen in love with me, but if I can't have your love I at least want your friendship. No matter what happens, you're always going to be someone very special in my life, Ed." Rose said and then finished with a shaky smile.

Ed returned her smile. "I thought that was a lot to ask after the pain I'm causing you but I'm glad to hear you say that. I know it's my fault that it didn't work out between us but you're a very valued friend to me too and it would hurt me to never hear from you and Eddie again." Somewhat sheepishly, he asked. "So is it okay if I write letters to you and Eddie later?"

"Of course."

Ed smiled at her. "Thank you, Rose. You're a wonderful woman. Since you'll let me I'll try to write to you though..." He exhaled heavily. "To tell you the truth I think I'll take some time to do it. I need time to myself, to clear my head and see what I should do with my life."

"I understand, just please don't disappear from our lives completely."

"I won't. As soon as I can get my mind right I will write to you. I can't give you a date but I promise that, as long as you agree, I will be in touch with you."

"Of that you don't have to worry, whenever you decide to come back here you will always be welcome." She stared at him for a few seconds before her shoulders shook and fresh tears spilled from her eyes.

Noticing the longing with which Rose looked at him through her tears, Ed thought nothing of it and drew her back into his arms, rhythmically running his hand through her hair trying to help her calm down as a couple of tears escaped himself.

The two stayed in each other's arms for a while longer, until, feeling Rose calmer, Ed pulled away from her so he could go pack his suitcases. Rose told him that he didn't have to leave right away but he insisted that it was something he had to do. A few minutes later Ed finished packing his things and left his bags on the wall opposite where the stairs were so he could go and say goodbye to Eddie.

Swallowing the lump that was forming in his throat, Ed knocked on the door to the boy's room before opening it. "Knock, knock."

From his position lying on the floor of his room with a notebook and book in front of him, Eddie lifted his face with a wide grin on his face. "Hi, Ed!"

Ed cracked a slight smile. "How's your homework coming, buddy?"

Eddie puffed out his cheeks. "I've already finished my science and ethics one but we got a lot of maths homework today and that's why I haven't been able to go out and play."

Ed laughed lightly. "I'll make a deal with you." The boy nodded his head. "I'll help you finish it so you can go play but before you go you have to let me talk to you first. Deal?" He said as he held up his index finger.

"What are we going to talk about?" Eddie asked curiously.

Ed moved his finger from side to side. "You'll know that as soon as we're done with that horrible maths homework." He concluded with a wink and a smile not wanting to worry Eddie before time.

However, Eddie's perceptiveness made him notice that Ed's smile looked forced. "Are you alright?"

"Why the question?"

"I don't know... you look sad?"

Ed swallowed again and then made an effort to make his smile look more natural. "How about I answer all your questions after we finish your homework?"

Eddie eyed him curiously before answering. "Sure?"

"Of course, you have my word."

"Kay."

"Then we have a deal?"

Eddie nodded energetically moved by curiosity as to what Ed wanted to talk to him about. Ed sat cross-legged on the floor to help the boy with his homework. It was a matter of a few minutes before they were finished with their homework together, minutes that Ed inwardly wished would be longer as he would miss those times with Eddie so much.

"Yeii!" Eddie exclaimed happily as he closed his notebook and book and then placed them on his bed. "Thanks, Ed." He said with a huge smile before sitting down across from him, also cross-legged. "Now, what are we going to talk about?" He asked with his eyes shining with curiosity.

"Patience, Mr. Curious." Ed said with a smile before ruffling his hair. Then he sighed and continued talking. "You see Eddie... this is a little difficult but I have to tell you: I came to say goodbye to you."

The smile that Ed's previous gesture had provoked immediately disappeared from Eddie's boyish face. "Why? Do you have to go on a mission?"

"Yes, Eddie, only this time it's a permanent mission. I have to go take care of some very important business."

Eddie clutched the fabric of Ed's trousers at his knee. "Can I come with you?"

The boy's innocent, sad tone squeezed Ed's heart painfully. "I'm sorry, buddy. But it's something I have to do alone."

"And when will you be back?"

"Unfortunately that's a question I don't have an answer to yet."

Eddie ducked his gaze without letting go of Ed's trousers. "So you're not going to marry my mom?"

Ed inhaled deeply before speaking. "No, Eddie, I'm really sorry but I can't do that to you and your mother."

Eddie lifted his head to look at him with his eyes glistening with held back tears. "But I would love for you to be my dad. That would make me so happy."

Ed had to make an effort to hold back his tears as he held out his arms for Eddie to come closer. The boy understood his gesture and quickly clung to him burying his face in the space between his shoulder and neck causing Ed to soon feel the wetness of his tears.

"Believe me I would be truly honoured to have a son like you." Ed said.

"I want to be your son."

At those words a couple of tears escaped Ed's eyes. "I know, Eddie, I know. Unfortunately it's not that easy. I can't keep robbing you and your mother of happiness."

Eddie broke away from him looking at him in confusion. "Why do you say that?"

"You'll understand when you're older." Ed replied as he wiped Eddie's cheeks and nose with his shirt. "I just want you to know that you and your mother made me very happy and I will never forget these wonderful months by your side."

"But I don't want you to go. Don't go on that mission. Stay with us." Eddie said sobbing.

Ed pulled the boy back into his arms to run his hand through his hair. "I'm really sorry, Eddie. But there's no going back. There's chaos that I caused and I have to take care of it myself. I'd been putting it off for a long time because I didn't want to part with you but if I don't do it now I'll just keep making even more chaos."

"I'll help you. Together we'll solve the problem."

"I appreciate that, Eddie, but on this occasion you can't help me. It's something I have to do alone."

"Even Mom can't help you?"

Ed shook his head. "Your mother has helped me enough. I can't keep taking advantage of her kindness."

Ed felt Eddie's hands clutch his shirt tighter. "So... you're really going to leave?"

"That's right, Eddie. I'm sorry."

After a couple of seconds in which all that could be heard were Eddie's sobs, the boy broke away from Ed, quickly turning his back on him.

"Eddie?"

For all response Eddie walked over to his bed and lay down on it, continuing to turn his back on Ed before covering himself completely with the quilt.

"Eddie?" Ed insisted again in a slightly shaky voice.

Eddie didn't answer but Ed could see the boy curl more into himself as his body continued to shake subtly from his sobs.

Swallowing to clear the increasingly tight lump in his throat, Ed slowly walked over to the bed, squatted down beside it so that he was level with Eddie's body and, after a few seconds of hesitation and with a trembling hand, placed his hand on the boy's head on top of the quilt. When Eddie didn't make a move that would give away that the gesture made him uncomfortable, Ed began to gently stroke his head.

"Eddie, you don't know how sorry I am. I didn't mean to hurt you and it breaks my heart to see you like this." He inhaled deeply. "Unfortunately I'm more than aware that the past can't be changed or modified in any way despite how much I wish I hadn't made so many mistakes but... you know? I feel very lucky to have met you and spent this time with you. Thank you for everything Eddie, you've given me enormous joy and... you don't know how sorry I am that I can't be the father you deserve". He paused slightly to run his free arm across his face to wipe away the tears that had escaped his eyes. "I love you." With that said he walked over to the boy and deposited a kiss on his head on top of the quilt that Eddie had refused to take off his head.

Ed got up and as he was about to leave the room he took one last look at Eddie before he went on his way.

As he came down the stairs after getting his suitcases he met Rose, who was waiting for him at the bottom of the stairs with tears still evident on her face.

"Thank you so much for everything, Rose. And I'm really sorry."

Seeing that Ed planned to keep walking, Rose couldn't help but ask in a slightly shaky voice. "Are you really sure about this, Ed?"

"Yes, Rose. I need to do this. You may not hear from me directly for a while but if you or Eddie need anything call Roy or Riza. I asked them, now that I'm going to be out of town, to help you on my behalf. When you need it, the resources of my state account are at your disposal."

Rose shook her head. "I appreciate that Ed but it's not necessary."

"I understand. I just want you to know that the support will be there. All you have to do is ask."

Rose gave him a shaky smile. "Thanks Ed, I don't know if I'll use it but I'll keep it in mind."

"Right." Ed couldn't help but take one last glance upstairs before returning his gaze to the front. "I'd better get going. I'm really sorry about everything, Rose." He walked over to her, dropped one of his suitcases and momentarily placed a hand on her shoulder. "Eddie needs you."

Rose was about to take a step towards the stairs but stopped when a thought crossed her mind. "Did you tell him everything?"

"The most important things. I told him I was leaving and tried to explain that it was a permanent thing. I just..." He sighed. "I couldn't finish saying goodbye to him. He didn't want to talk to me anymore." Noticing Rose's hesitant glance upstairs, he added. "It's okay, don't force him. This is a consequence of my mistakes and I understand if he doesn't want to hear from me again."

"Oh, Ed, I'm so sorry."

Ed sighed again. "Me more. I didn't mean to hurt you like this but now I have to face the consequences of my actions." Before Rose could say anything else to him, he hurried to say. "Take care of yourself, Rose. And again thank you so much for everything." With one last sad smile Ed picked up again the suitcase he had dropped and began to move towards the door, his heart squeezing once more at his farewell to Eddie and the new sobs Rose was letting out.

"Ed!"

Ed's eyes widened in surprise and he turned immediately, seeing Eddie's tearful, flushed face as the boy hurried down the stairs. Without thinking, Ed dropped to his knees, dropped his bags and stretched out his arms just in time to hug Eddie tightly.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry." Eddie apologised between sobs.

"Shh, Eddie, easy, you don't have to apologise. The one who owes you a thousand and one apologies is me." Ed replied in a trembling voice that had barely gotten past the lump in his throat.

"I love you very much too, that's why I don't want you to go but if...if you have to go...I didn't want to say goodbye to you like this." Eddie said as he squeezed Ed with all his might.

"Eddie..." A couple of tears escaped Ed's eyes. "I don't want to say goodbye to you either but sometimes there are hard things we have to do even if we don't like them."

"Can't I really help you with your problem?"

"I'm sorry, Eddie. This is such a complicated problem that I have to deal with on my own."

"I don't understand, how can something be so complicated that neither my mom or I can help you?"

Ed inhaled deeply trying to find the right words. "You're still too little as it's something you have to live through to understand but love..." He sighed. "Sometimes it can be a little too complicated."

Eddie pulled away from him slightly so he could look into his eyes. "But I love you very much. You don't love me and that's why you'd rather leave?"

Ed placed a hand on the boy's head. "Of course I love you, Eddie. You and your mother. That's exactly why I have to leave because love sometimes involves letting go of the people you love, too."

"That doesn't make sense."

Ed smiled sadly at him. "Not everything has an explanation in this world. Love is one of those things. It can be something so intense that you feel like you can do the impossible but sometimes... sometimes things don't work out the way you expect them to."

Noticing the sadness in his gaze, Eddie asked. "But are you going to be okay on your own?"

Ed tried hard to make his smile convey reassurance. "I'm not going to lie to you, Eddie. Maybe I won't be at first but someday I will be."

"Soon?"

"I'll try." Ed inhaled deeply to keep more tears from escaping him. He didn't want Eddie to keep noticing how deep his sadness really was. "And I won't be completely alone, your memory and your mother's memory will be with me. I'll send you lots of letters too, okay? I promise I'll send you every alchemy book I can find."

Eddie buried his face in his neck and nodded.

"Good boy. As long as you want me to, I'll be in touch with you. So don't cry, buddy. This isn't completely a goodbye."

Eddie clutched his arms around Ed's neck tightly. "I love you, Ed."

Ed had to blink several times to keep new tears at bay. "I love you too, Eddie." He said hoarsely. A few seconds later, when he was convinced he could keep his voice from cracking, Ed added. "Take good care of yourself and take care of your mom, too."

"I will." The boy said in a shaky voice. "You take care of yourself too and don't forget me."

"I'll never forget you, buddy." Ed said lightly tightening his hug and staying in that position for a few more minutes before he had to leave that house to take the first steps into his new life.

A/N2: Ed told Winry that he wouldn't just walk out of her life, but it's also clear that he doesn't want to intervene in her life, so what will be the next step for Ed?