I surveyed the massive lake from the yacht's deck, my eyes hopefully as they looked over the mass. The sun's reflection made seeing anything in the waters impossible, and if I cared I would've had to squint to maintain focus on it, though again, that's if I cared.. After all, lakes are pretty common in Canada anyways.

Oh! You might be wondering who I am. Yes you, the person looking into my mind at this very moment. I'm pretty popular back home, so I know a lot of people like to think about me. Maybe even fantasize about me. Hopefully that second one.

I'm Codie Emmett Jameson Anderson. Yeah. A girl with four boy's names, go figure. Thankfully, I'm told that fact doesn't take away from my natural charm- at least that's what mom says. She also said those would come in soon and well… here we are. Like I'll let that stop me!

"I am going to get a boyfriend!" I cried to the heavens, declaring the singular intent I held above all others. No matter what life threw at me, I knew I'd achieve at least those three things. Happiness, love, and a never ending supply of candy. This show was a nice fast track to achieving that, fate itself had reached out and given me this opportunity.

As soon as the boat dock I sauntered out, my admittedly boyish clothes on full display, but I didn't care too much. They were comfy! Two layers and some nice jeans was all I ever needed- even if it caused my dad to call me 'son' for the past five years. Ehehe…

"Codie! The Code-ster! The Code meister !" I did my best to ignore the oddest sense of familiarity and dread at the last nickname he threw my way, just reciprocating the finger guns and high five he offered. Sure, nobody actually called me that, but if I won this whole shebang, who was actually gonna call me on that?

"Dude, psyched to be here. See the guys have already arrived- alright." I tried to put on my best seductive voice, play it up a bit husky like in all those romance movies. The guys there just smiled awkwardly or dismissively. Not exactly the best start, but hey, they just haven't gotten a taste of the Codester yet. Looking at my picks, there were a few decent ones. Sure, the guy with the toque or the sweater vest seemed lame, and the one with the mohawk seemed really, really scary, but the jock type or the really muscular guy seemed cool.

I decided to plant myself next to someone really special though. I always had a thing for goth types, what can I say?

"What's your name?" I tried, peeking up at him. The white face paint and the dyed blue and black hair were to die for, and the black nail paint almost sealed the deal for me. I guess I'm what you could call an aesthetician ( She doesn't know the meaning of the word ).

"Glen. Don't talk to me." The goth rolled his eyes and focused on the next new arrival, but I didn't say anything. On the outside, it probably looked like she went all Medusa on me, but on the inside I wanted to kick my feet in excitement.

He's so into me!

I didn't really pay attention to everything else that happened, the goth continually radiating an aura that just grabbed my attention. Fate seemed to agree, as the two of us wound up on the same team- the Screaming Gophers!

Sure, he did throw me out of the cabin when I snuck over to the boy's side, but people can be awkward! Not everyone can be like me! I decided to give him some breathing room for the rest of the day, but after that homeschooled kid went home I decided to try my luck again.

"So, Glen, how about a-" "No thank you Codie."

The brooding boy packed up his journal and walked away just as I entered his vicinity by one of the trees. He was so mysterious, so attractive . Like God had put the goal right in front of me, and I had to reach out and grasp it.

But, as the days progressed, the rejections got faster and more aggressive. Sure, on TV it was real easy to watch someone get rejected over and over again before finally getting the boy or the girl, but this was something else.

"Glen, how about a-" "I said no Codie."

Glen's frustrations had slowly been coming to a boil, even I could tell. Even after a week together and that tense elimination ceremony, he still rejected me. It was hard to tell what about me was stopping him from just saying yes , just accepting my advances so I- we could have a happy ending! The two of us, a couple!

Maybe he was gay?

I shook my head at the thought. Looking down, I caught sight of my body. Scrawny, not much to show for in the feminine department, and my defining feminine trait was waist length hair. I couldn't do much to change this- well, unless I won the million. What I could do was…

"What are you doing?"

Heather's obonxious voice really took the fun out of everything, huh? I'd just decided to finally start exercising, maybe build up some muscle mass- become one of those muscle girl tomboys they post about a lot on message boards, and here comes the queen bee to ruin that.

"Uh, well, I… hehe…" My pitiful response was totally intentional! It was to throw her off guard, not because I was scared or anything. "I'm uh… exercising." I managed to mumble quietly, and I could feel the roll of Heather's eyes without even turning around. She probably thought I was an idiot.

"You're an idiot." She snapped, walking over to me. She grabbed one of my arms and dragged me back towards the cabin. "Come on, there's more productive things for you to do than to obsess over boys."

"Things like what?" I moaned out as she pulled me along with her, my feet sloppily following along, slipping against the damp grass. "Not another one of those strategy meetings! You have Lindsay for all of that."

"Yes, but Lindsay can be a boy crazed idiot- which is what you've been turning into." She snapped. We eventually reached the cabin, which was barren. "Beth's no better, if I weren't around those two would just be another Katie and Sadie- ugh." She spat the names out like the syllables themselves were repulsive, and I couldn't blame her. I was eternally thankful to Izzy for getting one of those girls out of our cabin.

She finally let go of my arm and I plopped down on Heather's bed, the taller girl sitting next to me as she wrenched a brush through my hair. "Look at this, you're a complete mess on a non-challenge day, all for some guy who clearly isn't into you! You're an idiot."

I smirked despite the truth of her statements. "An idiot who'll win his heart." It was cheesy and lame, but I felt it got across my character pretty well.

"That's cheesy and lame. Expected from you." Heather growled, pulling the brush through my hair more harshly than usual, eliciting a few pitiful yelps on my end. "Just get over the goth- come on, you could probably snag someone actually useful. If you had gotten Noah when he was around, maybe he wouldn't have been so useless, or you could find a way to stop Trent from playing that stupid guitar."

"I think Noah was gay actually." Another sharp tug on my hair, like she was trying to tear out whole chunks. "Hey! I don't want a bald spot at 16! Also, Trent's music is good!" More sharp pulling, like she was tearing out horseflys.

This painful process continued until eventually…

"Done. You really need a haircut- your hair is naturally straight which is good, but you know nothing about maintaining it." Heather rubbed her temples. "Be thankful I'm this nice to you. You're the only somewhat sane one here."

"What about LeShawna?" I chimed in, only to receive a stern glare. "Ah, still hate her, huh?"

" Loathe is the better word." Heather leaned forward, holding up her head with her hand. "If she was more agreeable, I'd probably still be talking to you though. That girl has a mouth bigger than Lindsiot's ass, she'd ruin any alliances in minutes."

"Wait… are we in an alliance?" I knew just how dumb a question that was right when it came out of my mouth. "Huh. I guess we are."

"You're lucky I'm here to keep your head in the game. Now, tell me, why all the focus on just one guy? He isn't even that attractive, it'd be like a guy desperately pining for you- no offense." Heather said this absolutely with the intent to insult, but I ignored it.

"He's so… so…"

"You don't know, do you?" Heather sighed as I struggled in vain to construe anything actually worthwhile to say about Glen. "You just like his aesthetic or something equally vapid- you don't know anything about the guy other than that he's a goth that doesn't want to go out with you. Try your chances with Duncan if all you want is some lame-o goth aesthetic."

"No! No Duncan!" I cried, shaking my head in terror.

"DJ? Geoff? Harold? "

"Too big, too loud, too much like me."

"Codie, you're gonna have to get over this guy eventually, it just isn't gonna happen. Anyways, for our next vote I think…"

I shut Heather's voice out of my head. There was no way I could just reject Glen like this- I knew in my heart of hearts, he was the one. At least, I think I knew.

Luck would have it that I managed to find Glen alone in the woods- not in a creepy way! Though, I guess the creepy version would be the other way around huh? I pushed those thoughts aside and snuck up beside him.

"Hey Glen!" The boy jumped at my voice, can't imagine why. He's got a good foot in height on me- the only person close to my height is Beth really. Peeking over his shoulder, I saw he was writing in that journal again, though it was quickly shut before I could read anything.

"Dammit- don't you know anything about personal space!?" Glen shouted at me, clearly annoyed. Fission Mailed , I quickly jumped back a few steps as the boy glowered in my direction. Okay, maybe not the best approach.

"Sorry! Sorry! I was just wondering what you were doing so far out here is all! You know, with the new challenge and everything!" I feebly tried to cover for what I did, but the now somewhat neutral glare sent my way told me he wasn't taking any of it.

"I'm not joining in. I don't have any talent to speak of." Glen blew some hair out of his face, stuffing the journal in his pocket as he stood. "If you're so interested, why don't you do it? Would keep you from annoying me at least."

Ouch. "I, uh, don't have any talent either." This was a lie. I was pretty gifted with songwriting and had some wicked keyboard skills- at least my friends back home said that. But admitting that would only push me away from him, wouldn't it?

"Yeah, I could tell." Pushing aside the obvious insult, I just half-heartedly laughed and continued trailing behind him on our way back to the cabins. Sure, he hated when I followed him to the lake, and he told me again that there was no chance of us getting together but… but…

"And now, a collaboration. Read by myself, and words by Glen." I perked up at that, noticing Heather had finally gone on the stage. I thought she was doing some ballet? "That little creep keeps trying to ask me out, won't take no for an answer. Honestly, even if she wasn't here I wouldn't be too thrilled to stick around. Wannabe musicians, loudmouthed girls, annoying delinquents, this place sucks big time."

Little creep.

Unconsciously I had brought my knees to my chest, and could feel a few eyes lingering on me, but I just focused over on Glen. He seemed pretty pissed, all considered, but everyone else seemed pissed at him. He just stormed off.

I had been sitting there for a pretty long time. Long enough for Heather to have gotten changed, since she was back to her typical outfit soon enough, ready to talk my ear off again.

"See Codie, he didn't care about you. He didn't care about anyone here. You should be more focused on the game , if you're just boy hungry and moping around like this all the time then you're never going to make it to the final two with me." It was another one of Heather's obvious plays, but she seemed to be a bit concerned. I glanced up at her and saw the tiniest flicker of worry in her eyes.

"But, he never said any of that to me, right?" I let a small smile reach my lips, while Heather could only shake her head. "That means there's still a chance."

"God, you know what? Just remember we're voting for Justin tonight, and stop thinking about him! " She stormed off, frustrated with my resilience. As the heat rose in my cheeks and my vision blurred, I was glad I got her to leave. She'd probably berate me more if she saw this.

Here I was. Crying, yet still in love. Maybe Heather was right that it was a vapid love, but it's still love, right? Glen rejected me so many times, but it's all still love, yeah?

"I think I'm over her."

Huh?

I shook my head a bit, wiping my eyes. I couldn't imagine getting over this crush so easily. I stood, brushing dirt off my pants, and finally left the auditorium- was probably almost time to eliminate Justin. I ended up stuffing my hands in my pockets and made my way back to the cabins. Hopefully Heather had cooled off.

"You know I got Noah kicked out, right?" Codemeister laughed as he gripped Cody's shoulder, the boy still pinned down by the dozen spears shoved through him. "Here you are, what? Dreaming? Are you thinking about Dawn or Gwen? Maybe Heather? How about one of those girls you never even talked to? Oooh, I know, you're thinking about me, right? It's not good to glare at yourself like that, you know."

"Shut up…" Cody mumbled, his right arm falling limply to his side. Codemeister whistled at this, before laughing again.

"That got you angry huh? Won't be enough to give your lame butt control again- even you were as sick of this play nice stuff as I was. Should've seen Noah's face when he realized what was happening, certainly had nothing on what we did to him back on the Island, but still great in its own way.

"Well, enjoy your dream. Maybe I'll mess around with Dawn. Or is it Gwen you're into now? Maybe I'll let you out after the damage is done." Cody desperately wanted to punch that smug self serving smirk off his own face, but he couldn't do anything about it. He focused again on what he was seeing before.

After he got off the Island, Dawn tried a lot to 'bring him back', and one of those things was what she had used to reach out to him- astral projection. It was pretty useful if you were actually spiritual, but Cody could never focus enough to do that stuff. He wanted to mend things in his own way- look where that got him.

He had to wonder though, just how all of this could help him. Just what was the point of his mind showing him 'Codie'? Why was his dynamic with Heather so different? Gwen was a whole other story, and he'd never been that scared of Duncan before.

Cody looked down at his freed right arm and wondered what the correlation was. Codemeister figured it was anger, but it happened just as he pulled out of the life of Codie Anderson.

'Maybe I could try… ' He looked at the spear jutting out of his throat, but quickly realized that, even in a dream, trying to yank a spear out of your throat would be one of the dumbest things he could do.

'Well, I just have to figure out- why Codie?' He snorted mentally. This was more Dawn's thing- hell, Noah would have a better time at figuring this out than him. At least this wouldn't take another few years.

Hopefully.