Bleach: Orihime's Gambit
Foundational context: This fanfic takes place after my other fic, The Kitchen Nightmare and before Temptation Island. The latter may just be its own universe.
"Shirahime" is an original character of FFN and AO3 author, Eugena. If you like my Bleach works, please be sure to check her work out. My Bleach works are also insipred by her original series, "5th Division in the Red".
Chapter 1: A Beginning All Her Own
oOo
(Karakura Town)
Two months have passed since Shirahime has returned from Miami, where a restaurant venture turned out better than she could have hoped. This return on investment was quite impressive, and this meant the 5th Division's money issues would be solved for quite some time.
Orihime, for her part, had been jealous of Shirahime's popularity with the guys, and in particluar she pined for the affection of Ichigo. However, she now had something new to be jealous of. Shirahime, being older, had now twice shown exceptional business acumen (or was it luck?). Orihime in part thought it might impress Ichigo if she could pull something similarly brilliant off, or make him jealous in the process. Or maybe, in the back of her mind, this would be something entirely new to be proud of.
Shirahime's original dating gameshow intended to generate income, a la "The Bachelorette". It ran into snags, and there may have been cheating at some level, but Orihime would outdo Shirahime in at least this regard.
(Miami, Florida)
While the others were unaware, Orihime left for Florida. She absconded with some of the windfall that Shirahime's restaurant idea had netted, with designs to hold her own dating competition. She had already been in contact with a local TV affiliate based in Miami, and a new trash dating show would always be useful to garner ratings. They didn't bother asking her age; the pics she sent were enough to greenlight the idea. Little did they know she was still 16; this may come back to bite them in the end.
She used this "seed money" to get an apartment near the studio, which she had to lie on the applicaton for. She met with the producer of this family-friendly show a few days after arriving and settling in.
He greeted Orihime as she walked into the studio foyer. "Hey there, just as cute as in the pics. I'm the producer, Dixon Raminar." This man had a ponytail (because of course he did), and his teeth had seen better days. His criminal record may have prevented him from owning a firearm or living near a school, but running this type of show was still permissible.
He continued. "So, we'll be holding a Bachelorette-style show, and of course you'll be getting a cut of the ratings, as well as other money raised by... certain means."
Orihime liked the sound of this. She overlooked the gaudy bronze statue of a Greek woman wrestling (?) with a swan in the center of the foyer. "Excellent. And I think we agreed on 50%, regardless of how the show turns out. I knew someone who did quite well on a show like this."
"Is she available?", Dixon interjected, showing the eagerness of a hungry rat.
"Uhh, no... I don't think she is. But she did pretty well and I know men would love to compete. Maybe some guys would be jealous."
"Well, picking the male contestants will be the first step. But we'll do it differently than the original article since we want to start right away and we don't have the same big budget to recruit contestants before we launch a trailer or start filming."
"Differently?", asked Orihime.
"Yes, we'll launch the trailer first, and then invite men to audition. And we can hold an auction for available slots."
Orihime added, "Maybe start with only 6 or so, drive up demand. More can come in later if we want a longer season."
This part of the plan was settled, and they spent the next few days working on the trailer. It would be sure to attract only the classiest of men still single.
(Karakura Town)
"Where the hell did she go?! And what did she do with the money?!", Shirahime asked. No one had now seen Orihime for nearly a week, and Shirahime now noticed that $15,000 was missing from her bank account. They both vanished at the same time. Why would Orihime run off, and to where? And why, if that was the case, only take $15,000? She also hadn't been answering emails.
The others, including Aizen and Ichigo, tried to help think of an explanation, but none came to mind. Surely if she wanted to go on an impomptu vacation, she would have enticed Ichigo to come along? Even though Orihime could be immature, worry started to set in.
It was a few days later when Shirahime was watching TV from the Earth realm, and suddenly something caught her attention. It reminded her of a previous venture of hers:
"LIVE from SMEG-TV! A new dating gameshow where men compete and place bids for a chance at a woman's heart!" An image of-it couldn't be ORIHIME?-flashed by. Shirahime's brain assumed for a split second that it was seeing things.
"Who will have the GUTS to enter an auction for ONE CHANCE to win this latest single woman's search for everlasting true love?!" Generic images of men boxing and climbing a mountain flashed by. Tune in next week for the FIRST EPISODE where we see who steps up for: 'The Winning Bid!', with newcomer Orihime!" He mispronounced her name, but the final image was unmistakable.
Shirahime blurted out, "OH SHIT! EVERYONE, GET IN HERE, IT'S ORIHIME!" Shirahime's friends came in, and she told them what had happened.
Aizen was astonished. "Nani?! What the hell is she doing there? She's 16! They can't be serious!"
Ichigo was also incredulous. "Surely they would know better or at least ask that sort of thing."
Shirahime was skeptical. "Well... don't be so sure. Some of these TV shows need three stepladders to rise to the class and dignity that Maury Povich has. They might just feign ignorance, assuming they bothered to ask", Shirahime concluded in a disgusted and still shocked fashion.
Aizen had calmed back down. "We can't just stay here. And she's not answering when we try to contact her. We may need to go back to Miami and find her. It's not safe."
Shirahime had to agree. "There's no telling what may happen. And Ichigo, you might need to come along to help persude her to come back." There was an irony in this, but Shirahime didn't have the time to care about it at the moment.
These three got on the next available flight. They would have to save Orihime, and find out what her master plan was.
(Miami, Florida. The First Auction)
Upon the trailer coming out, a number of men came in to auction for the first three slots. Dixon had laid out his strategy to Orihime prior; three men would ensure the mateiral for the first episodes, being the auditions, the auction itself, and at least one elimination. The other three slots would be auctioned after the first episode aired.
Orihime, to be quite honest with herself, enjoyed the attention. Many had come and the first slot was up for auction. Dixon was banging the gavel, and he probably would've liked to bang a few other things as well. The show opened with its dramatic music and pan over the gathered men.
These men of course had been thoroughly vetted before this step (kind of), and Dixon began: "Alright, first contestant slot for The Winnng Bid! Let's start at $1000! K, I have $1000, anyone going to $2000?"
"$5000!", came a voice. Orihime thought this man looked familiar from somehwere, but she couldn't be sure. Maybe he was from the news?
Dixon continued. "Excellent! We got $5000, anyone for 6?"
Men spoke up, "$6000."
"$8000!"
"$9000."
Dixon was glad to hear it. "Alright, we got 9. Anyone for 10?"
The man who originally bid $5000 spoke back up. "$20000!"
Dixon answered this. "Alright, we've got $20000! Anyone going for 25?... Going once, twice, SOLD, the first slot to the man wearing the lifted shoes." Dixon picked on him slightly before going on to auction the next slot. The first winner rolled his eyes, and proceeded to the green room to wait for the other two.
The next two winners were selected, and they joined the first man. Their winning bids weren't quite as lavish, but already, Orihime looked like she had made a profit. And the ratings hadn't even started yet. At least it didn't turn out like an old sitcom she had heard of, which also featured an auction to date a woman, but its winning bid was a measly $5. If that had been the case here, Orihime might have to punch someone.
Orihime and Dixon went to the green room to brief these three men on how the first challenge would go. This meeting also would conclude the first episode. She got a good look at the first auction winner, and finally recognized him from the recent political coverage that even reached the TV stations in her native Japan.
It was Ron DeSantis, in his second wind to raise publicity and close the gap for his Presidental run. He had tried participating in Shirahime's previous restaurant project, but an unfortunate bout with norovirus stymied these plans. Cash had been short, but when this dating gameshow appeared on the radar, a myserious benefactor gave him the funds to ensure a winning bid. Hopefully, this reality show would be popular with all the young voters.
Orihime filled them in, "Well, it looks like we have a celebrity guest here. But don't be mistaken, he'll have to compete with you guys. There will also be more challengers later. Don't get complacent."
The contestants seemed confident, and Orihime gave them the first challenge. She got the choose them, and got creative as she typically did. "Tomorrow, we'll head to Hayden Park and see who does WORST in a game of base-cer. They'll be sent home (camera adds a 'slicing' sound effect) and the other two will compete in the next challenge to see who remains of the original three."
"Base-cer?", Ron DeSantis asked. The other two hadn't heard of this either.
"It's a combinaton of baseball and soccer. There's no bat though. You take turns being on the home plate, while the ball is kicked at you. Kick back the ball, and run to the next base before they kick it at you."
The three men tried to mentally digest this image. They'd have to wing it. Dixon's team meanwhile would be editing this first episode, while also capturing material to spice things up.