After reading a discussion in an AO3 forum on Facebook, I decided to make a change in how I write conversations. What was discussed there, including an example, made it clear to me that I needed to change the way I write conversations. Hopefully, with the way I've written conversations now, it is clearer who's speaking and what their feelings and/or emotions are.
Flashbacks are in Italic.
Las Vegas, Nevada, John POV
John stalks through nightly Las Vegas keeping a careful eye out for any danger. His emotions run high, especially concerning his recent discovery. It's not been long since he's been reunited with Dean or Dean disappears again without a trace. This time, he's fairly certain he can find him. He's got a feeling he'll succeed.
Walking quietly to the door of his motel room, he silently opens it. Instantly, he hears soft breathing. He smiles as he slips into the room.
Good.
His sons need the rest. Dean especially because of all he's been through. He carefully closes the door and looks around without switching on the light. It's better if he doesn't wake them. His eyes roam through the dark room and to the bed which causes his eyes to widen at what he sees.
It can't be. He looks around the room more thoroughly. The door to the bathroom is closed and no sounds come from it. Despite this, he silently storms to the bathroom and checks it.
Again, he finds nothing.
Where's he? Did he get taken again? Or… his eyes widen. Could it be? Could he have left voluntarily? If so then he needs to find him to discover what they've done to him. And what he can do to save Dean from it.
With this in mind, he checks out the room for anything useful. It is a futile search as he's unable to find anything.
Anything at all.
Well, except for dust and dirt but that's unimportant. He sighs and stiffens almost immediately. Sam twitches and mumbles in the bed. He keeps a close eye on Sam for a moment before he relaxes. Sam just turned around. Quickly and quietly, he slips out of the room. He does not want to jinx anything.
At once the cold night air hits him in the face as he steps out of the room. He takes a few deep breaths before looking around.
Motel rooms.
Light flickering through the window.
A dark open space leading to a badly lid road.
Road? This is the only way Dean could have gone. His mind made up, he walks to the road. Without a car, Dean would not have gotten too far. And hopefully, no one has picked him up. A concern for later.
Once he's on the street, he looks around. There must be something Dean was looking for. But no matter where he looks, there is nothing even remotely close. So he looks further away. He can see lights glimmering in the sky. The clubs?
He groans. He cannot believe it. Of course, Dean would do this. Go to a party the second he can and does not have to look after Sam. He's not even surprised.
He's still annoyed that he did not take any precautions. It would have prevented so much trouble right now. He's been to six clubs right with no success. So, now he'll be checking out the next club. He's not sure what he'll do if this one also turns out to be a waste of time.
His eyes track the line in front of the club. It's longer than most he's had to join. And there's something off with this group. Something he can't place. They look at him nervously as if they're sensing the same thing. Within a few minutes (faster than he expected if he's being honest), he's in the club. He doesn't fail to notice how some patrons are also watching him constantly. Most curiously but some seem scared. He doesn't understand why. It's not as if they're hiding something. Right?
Maybe, just maybe there's something they've been hiding. He'll look into it tomorrow. After he's dragged Dean back to the motel. With this in mind, he cautiously walks around the club floor. He can see the terraces on top and people having fun there. He can't make out the people there but he does see some shuffling and someone trying to get away. It seems to fail only for someone to step in. The reaction to this person says enough. This one holds the reins here. He keeps his eyes on this person for a while longer. What he sees next only confirms what he already believes.
A short while later, he looks around the room once more. There is a shape deeper in the room, in the middle of the dance floor, which looks highly familiar to him. He keeps track of the person. Slowly, he can see more of the person.
Blond hair.
A very familiar build.
A familiar posture.
His eyes widen as he takes all this in. He has found him. Finally. His eyes narrow as he sees Dean dancing. Sees him having a good time. And causing him a fright.
He steps forward onto the dance floor. Before he even knows it, he reaches Dean and grabbed his arm. Without saying a single word, he drags Dean off the dancefloor. At Dean's struggling he tightens his grip. He ignores his protest as well as the curious looks thrown his way. Before long, they are out of the club. He moves them to an alley where he turns and glares at Dean.
"You've got anything to say for yourself, boy?"
Dean looks at him with confusion though he can detect some hidden anger. No matter, he will soon find out what this is about. Hopefully, it will also answer some of his questions. He gets the impression Dean isn't interested in answering the longer he says silent. He growls seconds before he speaks up again.
"Well, I'm waiting for an explanation for why you snuck out."
"Just because. I just wanted to have some fun after all this. Can you blame me?"
Dean shrugs. One of his eyes twitches upon hearing this. He has to take a deep breath before he speaks up else he'll explode.
"Yes, I can. Did you truly need to visit such a sketchy club for that? When I was gone?"
"What's the problem with it anyway? Sammy was perfectly safe."
Dean growls as he glares at him as he crosses his arms in front of his chest.
"Not thanks to you. Have you lost your mind during the time you were away?"
"No, I haven't. I just don't see what the fucking problem is," Dean says astounded.
His eyes widen. Does he truly see no problem with it? Dean should know better; did know better. He can't have changed this much. It takes him a few seconds during which Dean seems to relax; his arms moving back to his side.
"You should. I don't want to see you returning to a club when you should be watching Sam and I want to know where you're going."
"Oh, so I've got to tell you every time I go somewhere. I'm not a kid!"
"You are a teenager and thus a kid. And you didn't listen, you only need to tell me if you go somewhere besides school," he orders.
"Fine." Dean pouts as he says this.
He wants to shake his head but knows he can't. At the same time, he can't stop his shoulders from slouching. Nevertheless, his voice remains strict as he scolds Dean.
"Don't give me that attitude boy, I just want to know you're safe."
"Safe? I was perfectly safe here," Dean says baffled as his shoulders tense.
He looks at Dean with a frown while clenching his fists and taking a deep breath. Why does Dean fight him so much? He rarely did it before. Is it because of the time away? He…he doesn't know and doesn't like it at all.
"How was I supposed to know that? Just tell me if you want to party and I'll see if you can. Now come on, we're going back to the motel. Sam has been alone for too long now," he says, ending the conversation. He's had enough of it.
Dean nods and doesn't fight him this time like he was doing moments ago. He sighs. He doesn't like fighting with Dean (on those rare occasions they did fight). Dean normally listens to him. So, it's quite confusing. He takes another deep breath. He suspects fights may happen more often than before now. He's not surprised (or knows he shouldn't be). The time Dean's been away has changed him. There's no ignoring it now.
Bullhead City, Arizona, Dean POV
He walks to the door and looks back. Sammy is still packing his stuff. He sighs. It's been a week now that he's been back and it's been a nice time. Sammy helped him with cooking whenever Dad is away. But right now they need to leave.
"Sam! Come on. If we don't leave now you'll be late for school."
"What, it's not that late," Sam says defensively while still taking his time with packing.
"Look at the clock, bitch."
"Jerk."
Despite this, Sammy looks at the clock. He can see when it clicks how late it is. Sammy's eyes widen. He speeds up with packing his stuff and they're out of the motel in under a minute. He laughs. He knew this would work. He's just glad Sam doesn't pressure him about his interest in arriving in time. He is not sure he can give a suitable answer. Well except for avoiding Sammy's complaints about being late for school but for once it's Sammy's fault.
Before long, he has dropped Sam off at his middle school while he makes his way to the high school dad told him he's to attend. He bites his lips. He knows he needs to make some arrangements there. He needs to fulfill the conditions Imogen put on him. If only to avoid drawing attention to them. But which ones?
He knows Imogen wants him to continue the homeschooling she put him on. The same Noah, Isobel and the others attend. Can he still attend this high school and combine it with the courses from homeschooling? He's not sure. It'll occupy his entire day if he does it. Dad will surely notice it as well as Sammy. And more importantly, he might be doing double work. That's something he's got no interest in.
But then, if he drops out, Dad will also find out. It'll be just so much trouble. Can he handle it? Maybe. Noah is close which means Benjamin is also close. Together with them, he might be able to handle it. Or…He can also skip high school and attend his home school courses.
It would be the best solution. It's not as if Dad's keeping an eye on him attending school. He can easily sneak out. Yeah, Dad won't be the problem then but Imogen might be if she discovers it.
He sighs. Knowing all this, he knows what he needs to do. He just doesn't look forward to the fight it'll cause with his Dad. It's just that he doesn't have a choice. It'll be too much of a bother to combine both schools with the training he's sure Benjamin will put him and Noah through. And skipping school is also no solution. So…
He sighs, aware of what he needs to do. He looks ahead. He's already in front of the high school and walks quickly to the administration. For everyone, it'll look like he's going to collect his schedule. Totally false. He's going to put his plan into motion and he knows just how to do it.
"Hello, how can I help you?" the secretary asks.
"My name's Dean Winchester. Dad told me to come here to resolve a problem."
"And what might that be?"
"Well…he may have registered me up here only to forget he had already registered me up at another high school," he explains while shuffling his feet. All to appear to be in a hurry.
"That's unfortunate. Is your dad around?"
"Yes, he's waiting outside."
"Can you ask him to come in?" the secretary asks calmly.
"I'm afraid not."
"Mhh, how to resolve it then. I really need him to sign some papers and see him to deregister you."
"I can bring it to him to sign," he offers while biting his lips, "It won't take long, I promise."
Hopefully. He'll have to call Benjamin and ask him to fake the signature. Or…he can also do it himself. It'll make everything go much faster. Besides, this is not the first time he forged his dad's signature. He's just got to ensure he won't be caught. Something glamour can help him with.
"I really need to see your father for this," the secretary explains sternly with frowned eyes.
"Ah come on, I don't have all day; I need to go soon or we'll be late for our flight and won't be able to work on my homeschooling courses. Maybe I can ask him to call you later, would that help?"
"It's not protocol but considering the circumstances, I'll accept it," the secretary concedes with a nod before looking at him sternly, "But be sure your dad calls me today."
"I'll tell him, I promise," he says even though he won't do it but she doesn't need to know that.
The woman nods again and hands him the papers. He quickly makes his way out of the school to the parking lot. He looks for a car in a secluded area. It takes him a while before he finds a suitable place.
Once there, he quickly activates the glamour before he takes a pen out of his backpack. Carefully, but without being too slow, he signs his dad's signature on the bottom of the paper. He lifts it up once he's done and looks it over. He nods satisfied. They won't be able to see the difference between this fake signature and the real one.
He's quick to return to form back to the woman and returns to the motel room. As he steps into the room, his eyes fall on a letter which seems to draw his attention. He carefully picks it up with a handkerchief and looks it over. Finding nothing dangerous, he opens it.
He scans the letter without really reading it just to know who it's from. A bright smile lights his face as he recognizes it; Isobel. He feels his heartbeat increasing. He quickly reads the letter. His happiness fades away the more he reads of the letter. Tears sting in his eyes. He barely refrains from crying outright. He throws the letter through the room with a scream. His arms tremble. His breathing increases. His heart follows closely behind it.
He takes a few deep breaths to calm down. It has moderate success. Enough that he manages to fling himself on the bed. He grabs the nearest pillow, presses it to his face, and screams again. As loud as he wants.
Imogen POV
A door chime sounds as she opens the door. A few eyes turn to her. Those eyes widen as they see her. She bites back a smile when almost immediately whispering breaks out in the cafe. She walks through the cafe to a spot in the back and feels all eyes following her as she walks. She knows why. Moments after she sits down at the table, a server stands before her. She raises an eyebrow at the quick arrival. She hasn't been given time to read the menu yet. Nevertheless, she turns a raised eyebrow at the server.
"Yes?"
"Would you like to order something?"
"Yes, a mint thee and a bowl of nachos, please."
"Of course," the server answers before she leaves. It gives her time to overlook the cafe and also look for Dean. She sees how the customers do all they can to not notice her. She gives them a few minutes before they've perfected it. She looks down at her watch and frowns. Dean's got a few minutes before he's late for their meeting. Just as she thinks this, the chime sounds again.
Her eyes move toward the door. A lean figure steps into the cafeteria. She smiles. There he is. She doesn't have to wait too long before Dean sits before her. He looks her over which she returns. Before long, Dean speaks up.
"Why did you ask to meet?"
"Straight to the point, I see. You don't want to be here, do you?" she concludes while biting back a smile. She knows Dean well already so this doesn't surprise her.
"No, not at all. I've got other things to do."
"Things like school and training?"
"Yes," Dean answers. She can hear from his voice that there is something he's not saying but has no idea what. Well, she will discover it later or more like soon; she's sure of it.
"Mhh, how is that going?"
"It's going fine. We train every morning and afternoon together under Benjamin's supervision. And the time we don't spend training, we work on our courses."
"That's good to hear. Does your father not ask questions?"
"No, because he's either gone or I make it look like I'm going to the high school he registered me at," Dean says calmly. She cannot believe what she's hearing. Dean and his brother are left alone all day? This isn't right but well she's not around to monitor it. It means she's glad Benjamin is around. He'll be keeping an eye on things. Nevertheless, she doesn't miss what he just said about school.
"You registered at a school?"
"I was. I managed to get myself deregistered without my father knowing."
"And how did you do that?"
Dean shrugs but at first, he does not speak up. Only when she narrows her eyes, does he react with an annoyed voice.
"You know by just lying my way through it. I made it seem as if Dad made a mistake and couldn't come in."
"And that was all that was needed?"
Dean shuffles on the chair and refuses to look at her. She narrows her eyes. What is he hiding? What has he done? Before she can consider it, Dean finally answers.
"No, Dad had to fill out a form but I…well, I sure as hell couldn't ask him so I forged his signature."
"You forged a signature?"
"Yes, it's not like it's the first time," Dean defends.
She leans back in the chair. Just then the servant arrives with her order and takes Dean's. It gives her time to consider how to respond. She knows what Dean did is wrong but also cannot fully blame him. He had no good alternative. So, he can't be fully blamed for it. Nevertheless, she doesn't want a repeat of it in the future. Her mind made up, she turns back to Dean.
"But it will be the last time. I won't have you committing criminal acts while under my care."
"Your care? I'm in my dad's care."
"For the mundane world yes but not for the shadow world. For that, I remain your legal guardian. As such, I will be informed about your actions regarding your schoolwork and during hunts," she explains calmly, "It also means that I don't want you to do it again (as I said before). If you need something signed, you come to me or Benjamin and we will sign it."
"As if that won't cause any problems."
"No, it won't because we will sign it while using glamour on it. This means to mundanes it'll look as if your dad signed them but to us, it will show the actual signature."
"Sure," Dean responds doubtfully, "I'll do just that. Can we now talk about why you wanted to meet with me?"
"Of course, we can. I wanted to meet with you because of the letter you received from Isobel Riverchild."
"Letter? What letter?" Dean questions sounding confused. She doesn't believe it.
"Yes, the letter. I'm sure you remember it."
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"Dean, I'm not your enemy here; I just want to help you," she explains calmly, trying to get him to open up. All it does is have Dean cross his arms in front of his chest and raise his head. She shakes her head while something in her heart feels troubled. She doesn't like this look on his face.
"Just talk to me. What's so wrong with that?" she asks when Dean doesn't respond at all.
"Everything. You don't have a say in my life."
"I do as your guardian but I don't want to intrude on your privacy too much. Just tell me about the letter," she said persuasively.
Dean glares at her. She looks at him steadily refusing to back down. He needs to talk about it. Cropping it up won't do him any favors. She knows this from personal experience. A very recent one. After a few minutes of a staring contest (during which the servant brings Dean's order), Dean sighs before snapping at her.
"Fine, I'll talk but know I'm doing it under protest."
"Noted."
"So I got a letter from Isobel with a lot of accusations. Basically, what it comes down to is that I'm a prick and a liar."
"That's a way to summarize it. So, what more can you tell me?" She asks while suspecting Dean only told her the bare minimum.
"More?" Dean asks confused, "Well, she admitted to being in love with me but has rejected those feelings. It has to do with the accusations. She said I'm the one misleading her and using her. She also said she will follow her previous dream but I don't know what new dream she had."
"A life with you at her side as a family, I'm assuming."
Dean's eyes widen. She can partially see his mind moving around. She tilts her head awaiting a response. Within moments, a smile grows on his face. She frowns now, especially intrigued about his thoughts. Sometime later, he bites his lips. Her interest rises.
What is Dean thinking about? Or is it more like worrying about something? She just has to wait. Patiently. After some time, Dean looks at her. He shuffles around in his pocket and pulls out a sheet which he hands to her.
"What is this?" she asks.
"The letter she sent me. I can give it to you. As you already want to know everything about it, you might need to read it."
"Need to; no though it makes everything much easier," she admits.
It also allows her to (hopefully) pass the test she feels is hidden in Dean's offer. As such, she accepts the letter and reads it. She frowns at some of the words thrown around; they're particularly harsh but confirm her suspicion as they fit into it. Once she finishes reading, she turns her eyes back to Dean who's looking at her expectedly. She tilts her head.
"So, what do you say? Complete unreasonable," Dean declares.
"Not completely. It sounds to me as if you've hurt her somehow."
"But that doesn't fucking justify this," Dean protests while waving his hand to the letter as if it will explain everything.
"I can't tell you that if you're looking for confirmation," she admits reluctantly. "What I'd like to know is how you two separated."
"Separated? We didn't. We…we…" Dean stutters while a blush seems to grow on his face.
"How did things go when you left? Did you talk to her? Did you spend time together? What happened between you two?" she offers by way of giving him an idea where he can start.
Dean doesn't respond. He only looks at her with wide eyes. She frowns. She did not ask anything strange from him so why the confusion? It makes no sense.
"I just told her I'd be leaving the day we left if I'm right. It's not as if we spent time together before I left the institute. But what's got that to do with it?" Dean asks, confused and offended at the same time.
"A lot. She sounds hurt; most likely because you didn't talk to her."
"What the fuck. What are you talking about? It's no reason to just attack me like that," Dean murmurs.
"No, it's not as I've said before. But it all comes down to one thing,"
"What?"
"A broken heart. She must have been in love with you, whether she knew it or not, and feels betrayed right now," she explains.
"And how's that going to help me?"
"By knowing her reason, you can act appropriately and fix it if you want."
"Fix it?" Dean asks confused.
"Yes, fix it so that you two can be at least cordial with each other and maybe rekindle what you had before."
"Well, it would be great to be on friendly terms with her considering Noah's my parabatai. But well…I don't know if rekindling is possible. To be honest, I kinda expected it to fracture," Dean says while he shrugs.
"Indeed; you'll be seeing each other a lot," she confirms, "As for rekindling your relationship if you put effort into it then it's always possible. Do you want to tell me what you two had?"
Dean turns away from her while biting his lips. He shuffles around on the chair. She leans back. It will not do now to pressure him. Maybe he'll tell her and maybe not. She hopes for the first but will accept it if he doesn't want to share. This is not vital information for her even if she wants to aid him. After a few minutes, Dean seems to have scraped his courage together as he finally responds.
"We had some sort of…I don't know what to call it. It wasn't friendship but something more; maybe love?"
"You saw the possibility of a life together."
"Yes," Dean admits reluctantly while looking away from her.
"Then I'd say you should see if you can fix it. This isn't something to let go of but something to fight for. I admit it won't be easy but I promise you that if you let it go, you'll regret it forever. So what do you say?"
Dean bites his lips and looks away again. She can see the thoughts going through his head. She drinks a bit and waits for him to respond. Whatever Dean will do with this is something he needs to decide by himself.
Five minutes later, Dean sighs before turning back to her.
"I'd like to find a way to fix it then. I just don't know how," Dean admits.
"I'll help you with that," she promises, "The first step would be to talk with her in private as that's better than a letter and doesn't allow her to burn it before she can read it. When you do, make sure you let her voice her feelings and only then explain yourself. Speak from your own perspective and feelings and don't try to generalize things. After that, you two should write to each other regularly."
"But when can we even talk? She can't come here and I can't go back to the institute."
"I'm aware of that but in time you'll be able to. I suggest you use the time in between to prepare yourself."
"Can't I write her a letter?" Dean asks with a hesitant voice. As if he's looking for a way out of talking with Isobel. She shakes her head. Silly boy.
"You can, Dean, but I wouldn't expect you to receive a response in that case."
Dean nods before moving his head to the side as he becomes pensive. She feels a smile growing on her face just by looking at him. She's glad she managed to offer him advice and let him handle his feelings. She could tell they've been troubling him even if he didn't show them or acknowledge them. She knows him and his ticks by now. She can read him almost as well as she could Stephan.
She turns her head to the kitchen as she watches the hectic activities there. Stephan? Her boy. Her poor boy. If only he hadn't joined the Circle and Valentine. If only. She shakes her head. There is little she can do to change the past. All she can do is look to the future.
She knows the love she feels for him despite his betrayal. That will never change. But…is it similar to what she feels for Dean? She bites her lips and tilts her head. She's really fond of Dean and wants to see him happy. At the same time, she also wants to protect him from bad influences. She doesn't want him to face the same as her son did. Nor to make the same mistakes. So, what is it really?
Care?
Friendship?
Familiar love?
What is it really? He's not her son but well…her feelings. She knows them; they're very similar to what she felt or Stephan. So yes, he's like a son to her.
A smile grows on her face. A son. Well, more like a second son. Whether he truly becomes a son will be his decision. She can't decide for him but knows Stephan would have loved this development. It's such a shame he's not around.