Chapter Three:

Mario Reacts to Orphan Memes (ft. Batman)

In the gaming room of the castle, Mario clicked at the keyboard, and then started to break out laughing at the sight of what he came across. He looked towards the camera, and waved with glee, then the fat Italian proclaimed, "Today, Mario's going to be looking at orphan memes. Oooh, did you lose your parents today? NOBODY CAAAAARES!"

Nobody laughed.

"Okie-dokie." Mario cracked his fingers, "Let's-a get right to-a the memes!"

And the first meme that the fat Italian came across involved a pair of screenshots, the first showed Sonic from Archie Sonic with Jules and Bernadette Hedgehog.

A caption above read: "In Pre-Reboot Archie, Sonic had parents. But in the games and later comics..." An image showed Sonic alone, "...we don't see his parents. SEGA has mandated that Sonic can't have family."

Mario giggled. "SEGA says Sonic doesn't have parents?" He quipped, "Oooh..."

He pulled out a phone, and dialed 6-23-1991. A second later, the fat Italian was on the line with one Sonic the Hedgehog, who was at the park. "Hey, Sonic!" Mario said with a stifled giggle, "Where's your mom and dad these days? Oh, YOU DON'T HAVE A MOM AND DAD, because SEGA doesn't want you to have parents! Looks like you're an orphan!"

The fat Italian burst out laughing, and then, he hung up before the hedgehog could say a word. On the disconnected line, Sonic looked down as his eyes welled with tears. He pulled out a photo, which showed himself as a baby, and all alone. Feeling sadness, the sensitive speedster walked away towards an orphanage.

"Very smooth, Mario!" SMG4 told the fat Italian with annoyance at the castle.

"You're adopted." Mario replied.

The meme man nearly dropped his camera. "WHAT THE F...!"

*Several orphan memes later*

"This is where I watched my parents die." Batman said in the photo.

The words above the picture read: "The Dark Knight of Gotham is an orphan after his parents were shot in an alleyway, even though he was cared for by the butler."

Mario exploded with laughter. "Nobody cares about your parents, Batman!" The fat Italian cried, "And you're Batman forever, because you lost your parents in an alleyway. Maybe I should call Joe so you can chill with someone cool!"

BAM!

Mario yelped.

BAM! BAM!

"Mama mia!" The fat Italian cried as the banging on the door continued, "Don't-a hurt Mario! I didn't mean to hurt your feelings! Oh, ah, mama! Ahahahahahahahahahaha! Please! I'm just a humble Italian who looks at memes!"

BAM! The door burst open, and Batman marched towards Mario, eyes narrow with rage. The caped crusader came closer, towering over the terrified fat Italian with a snarl. And then, he grabbed him by the straps of his overalls, and growled, "I am VENGEANCE! I am the night! I am BATMAN!"

"Martha..." Mario whimpered, "AH, I mean, MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA..."

"Why did you say that name?!" Batman shook Mario, "WHY DID YOU SAY THAT NAME?!"

"MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Batman raised his fist menacingly, then the Super Mario Land Millennial theme began to play, and a bell rang, courtesy of SMG4 as he declared, "Aaand cut. Pretty good, Mario! I think the fans are going to love it... even though being orphaned is nothing to laugh at, and you're a little insensitive to Mr. W... I MEAN, BATMAN!"

Batman chuckled while setting down Mario, and he removed his mask to reveal his true face. "It's alright, SMG4." Bruce Wayne said, "Most people know the identity of Batman, and you're one of them. I'm happy to make an appearance in your videos sometimes... even if I'm a background character who doesn't do much."

"Hopefully you weren't too offended." Mario said nervously.

Bruce glared at the fat Italian. "Don't push it!" He told him firmly, "I know this was a video and this was an act of sorts, but my parents' death that night in Crime Alley was a tragedy that was no laughing matter, it's my motivation for becoming Batman, and no one should ever laugh at what I went through! EVER!"

Mario nodded and let out a little whimper. Bruce then slipped his mask back on, and departed the room. As he was leaving, he turned to wave to the fat Italian and the meme man. SMG4 waved back, and so did Mario. And then, the Dark Knight, Gotham's silent protector, the legendary Caped Crusader, was gone. For now.

"Mama mia." Mario remarked.

"We took a risk, Mario." SMG4 told him, "And it was worth it, even though we came close to seeing Batman beat the crap outta you... and because you made fun of his parents' death. The 1960s show didn't hold back from mentioning that event and keeping it as part of the lore, even with all of that camp which the series was known for."

"So, do we upload now?" The fat Italian asked confidently.

SMG4 grinned, and held his camera, then he looked at his computer with eagerness. After several minutes of filming, it was time for the world to see another video dedicated to everyone's favorite dim-witted Italian reacting to memes. What could possibly go wrong?