Izuku's POV

The car ride was quiet and he hadn't known what to say to the words of the woman. But his Mum and Todoroki confirmed it. He knew he went to her to take away some memories so it was believable, and he knew Todoroki and his mother wouldn't lie but it still sounded unbelievable. It was strange sitting there waiting for her to get to it but she already had...

But whenever he thought about Katsuki Bakugo he only had fear and a sense of sadness they couldn't be friends when they both made it to UA. But he accepted it and resolved to stay away from him. It never worked though Katsuki just blew up at anything he had done.

"How do you feel?" His mum asked and he looked up to the rear view mirror to see her looking at him.

"Strange. Mostly confused" He shrugged "I can feel something is... missing but it doesn't sound right that it is Katsuki" he shrugged his curiosity was almost the cause of ruining the whole thing when the woman said she would hold onto the memories for two years. Because it was just odd to think he ever cared about Katsuki after all he had done. Todoroki watched him carefully all day and Izuki couldn't help feel glad to have him. Throughout the who thing he had been supportive , gave him the chance to back out.

"You can stay another night?" She offered for the second time on the drive back to UA

"Thanks Mum but I have homework to finish. I'll come visit properly soon though" he promised and suddenly felt dread at the view of the school. She dropped them off at the gate hugging Izuku and Todoroki, who tensed and looked to Izuku with wide eyes.

"Thank you" she said and his face softened

"My pleasure. I'll keep an eye on him" he promised stepping back and they went on their way.

"How do you feel about Bakugo?" He asked as they signed back in

"Nervous. Katsuki has never liked me and if this is the first time without my memories... I guess I don't know how not to set him off" he shrugged and remembered his message he had sent. Then frowned at the name 'Kacchan' no wonder he hated him. Ugh. He couldn't deny that the hole he remembers having was gone, the feelings that pushed him to go as far as he did back then... was it really all cause he loved Katsuki so much?

As they approached the dorms they saw the hole in the building

"Isn't that Katsuki's room?" Izuku asked and Todoroki nodded his face blank "I wonder who upset him? I wasn't here to set him off" Izuku said softly as they entered the dorms.

"Izuku!" Kirishima yelled eyes wide cause Todoroki and Izuku both to halt. Kirishima came over looking him over and seemed to relax the more he took him in.

"Evening Kirishima. Is everything okay?"

"Oh uh yeah, fine"

"What happened to Katsuki's room?" He asked cautiously and the way Kirishima looked surprised he assumed it was noticeable already

"Uh... he..." he looked to Todoroki who only shrugged "he had a backfire. Everyone is fine though. He is bunking with me for a bit"

They walked up and Todoroki took Izuku's bag

"I'll take this to your room. Urakaka is coming and you're going to have to assure her you're okay" he nodded and before Izuku could really argue he was walking away. So he made his way to the girls floor passing a group of them.

"Izuku!" Yelled Mina causing his eyes to widen to see everyone was sat in the living area. Her and Urakaka came barrelling over, his eyes landed on Katsuki and he smiled politely quickly looking away. They bombarded him with questions 'are you okay?' Was in there a lot as well as some small digs to his arms. He assured them he was fine, and that it worked. He remembered the events leading up to it so he had no reason to question it. It was just... odd.

Only Mina, Urakaka, Todoroki and Ieda knew what was happening so he supposed others may be confused when school started on Monday. Katsuki more than anyone else he supposed

"Midoriya!" Denki yelled from the couch "hey want a round on Mario Kart? Kac-" he cut off at the foot digging him in the head "Bakugo won't play anymore"

"Because you're shit!" He growled out

"Oh. No that's okay" he said awkwardly "I have homework to catch up on. Maybe tomorrow" he said half heartedly as he scurried from the room. The idea of being near Katsuki was terrifying. He was so angry and being near him always set him off.

-

He'd spent the entire Sunday in his room, mostly to save any explosions from Katsuki, there was a test this week and he didn't want to cause any worry or distraction to his classmates. That and the idea that this was the beginning of a different approach with Katsuki he just... he wasn't sure what to do. He had tried to be his friend, he remembered that. He didn't get why, why he kept pushing and pushing when it was clear Katsuki just wanted him to go away. But now it was Monday morning and he had to go to class. Where he sat next to Katsuki. He internally groaned as he entered the school building dreading when he would come. Izuku had gotten up early, much earlier than normal so he could have breakfast and leave before the others woke up. He just didn't know how to deal with this. He sat in his chair near the window. Mr Aizawa was already there and opened one tired eye to peer at Izuku from his sleeping bag.

"I uh... woke up early" he chuckled nervously "I'll be quiet so not to disturb you" he promised and with that the older man closed his eye.

After some time the others filtered in and Katsuki stalked in, his usual angry scowl on his face. Izuku lowered his head and tried to be as small and as invisible as possible, he couldn't help the flinch as the other boy slammed his books on his desk. He was ridged and clenching his fists repeatedly. Mr Aizawa woke up with the bell and as the class prepared Izuku noticed Katsuki reaching into his pockets and a quiet curse escaped his lips. Chewing on his lip nervously Izuki realised that he hadn't brought a pen and looked at the one in his hand, knowing he had a spare in his bag. Deciding it would be best he didn't interact he turned to focus on Aizawa and wrote his notes as he spoke. After a while they were to do work on their own and Izuku saw Katsuki still had no pen and he would actually need one now. He'd thought Kirishima would have given him one. There was hushed talking about the work so Izuki sighed, taking a deep breath before clearing his throat

"Um... Katsuki?" He called timidly and the blonde turned his head so fast it had Izuku leaning back against the window but the look of sheer shock on the usually angry face wasn't what he had expected

"What?" He asked in a tone Izuku hadn't actually heard since he was very little

"Y-you can borrow my pen" he stammered out quickly putting it on the teens desk before quickly lifting his shoulders and focusing back on his book.

"Thanks" was all he got in reply. He didn't even dare to look for fear the odd behaviour would stop.

"Hey, why did you call him that?" Denki asked turning to face Izuku who only frowned at him confused "you never call him by his name, only 'Kacchan'" he explained and Izuku shrinked into himself more waiting for the explosive outburst but it never came

"Oh, uh well he doesn't like it. It's um rude to keep saying it" which was true he supposed but mostly... he felt like it was wierd to say it. Quickly getting his spare pen he continued on with his work.

When the lesson ended they were sent to the field for the practical and told that they were to pair up. When Aizawa arrived he had paired up Katsuki with Izuku to train and he had froze to the spot. Eyes wide he only looked at Katsuki's chest before taking a defensive pose to spar. He could hold his own, that wasn't what he was afraid of, in fact it was the only time he did fight back. But the way Katsuki looked at him always hurt more when they had to spar. He couldn't quite place why anymore, but he guessed that only further proved the woman's words true. He had been in love with the raging blonde the whole time. He never remembered being this nervous before but he shook it off. It was hard to with Katsuki looking at him without that manic grin, or the usual fierce disgust. The scowl was still present but it didn't have any fire to it and Izuku was confused.

"Um Aizawa sensei?" Izuku called causing the older man to turn to face him "I um... I think maybe Kirishima would be a better partner for Katsuki, no?" He asked and the entire class turned to look at him with surprise. He felt his shoulders come up as he wanted to dissapear

"No" the older man deadpanned before looking to Katsuki with something close to concern "you today" he said in a final tone and Izuku nodded before smiling apogetically at Katsuki

"Sorry, guess you'll um just have to put up with me, for school" he smiled forcefully. He remembered promising to leave him be.

"Tch. Sure" the blonde scoffed before advancing.

-

Two months had passed since the wipe and everyone noticed the tension in Katsuki, and the odd distance Izuku had put between them. It wasn't an easy few months for the class but they made do, Katsuki had gotten very short with everyone, only Kirishima could stand to be around him for long periods of time. How he had survived bunking with him was a miracle. Izuku didn't understand it, he'd done what he had wanted and now he was alienating himself from their friends, and training or working out excessively. Izuku had kept contact minimal and Todoroki and Urakaka had been the best. Izuku was sat across the dining table watching Mina talk Todoroki's ear off and he had paid rapt attention making sure to take in her gossip even if it hadn't been a topic he had any interest in. They had gotten close and Todoroki had been true to his word, staying his friend. Izuku hadn't understood why he had turned him down. He was good, and he cared deeply for him he was attractive and Izuku wasn't blind to that fact.

He would sit there for hours discussing the quirks and help him add things to his notebooks. He'd been playing with the idea of asking him out but he didn't feel right. Like he was just using him after he had spent years apparently in love with Katsuki Bakugo. Soon it was just him and Todoroki in the kitchen cleaning up after the mess. Todoroki had leant over him to place the spices into the cupboard and Izuku froze looking up and his heart leapt into his throat when the dual eyes fell on his. They are beautiful, Izuki thought. And he was rather impressed he could still see given the severity of his burn. His mouth went dry and he had to lick his lips, his stomach flipped when Todorik's eyes moved down to look at them. He leant down eyes looking over Izuku, studying him. They were close when the door burst open causing Izuku to jump and Todoroki to frown.

"Fuckin get a'room!" Katsuki snapped his words slurred. Izuku leant to the left to look passed the tall man and his eyes widened at the state of the rocking Katsuki, he was missing a shoe and was clearly heavily intoxicated.

"You should go to bed" Todoroki said but was rewarded with a glare "come on Izuku" he said softly stepping away and Izuku looked between them

"Yeah, go with ya boyfriend" Katsuki snapped before lifting the bottle from his side and slumping into the table

"Um..." he looked to Todoroki who sighed

"Want me to help?" He asked and Izuku smiled tightly

"No, it's okay I- I can take care of him. Goodnight Shoto" he had taken to calling him Shoto recently and it made him happy to see him smile ever so slightly at the name

"Goodnight, Izuku" he nodded and left the two of them alone

"Don't need you're fucking help!" Katsuki snarled "shitty Deku"

"You'll get in trouble if Aizawa catches you" he cautioned and Katsuki only gave him a feral grin.

"Maybe I don't fucking care! Did you think of that?"

Izuku couldn't stop his jaw hitting the floor if he wanted to. Katsuki was smart, focused and driven the only thing that seemed to hold him back was his hostility toward Izuku. So he had taken himself out of the equation. Well, as much as he could.

"If it affects your chances of becoming number one, you care" Izuku finally said reaching over to take the drink. The hand held it tighter red eyes glaring up at Izuku

"Get. The. Fuck. Off" he threatened and Izuku only sighed before pulling hard and taking the bottle.

"I didn't do what I did so you could just drop out. I expect a challenger for that spot" he huffed pouring the strong smelling liquid down the drain. He bent his head as he placed it on the counter "Katsuki, its not li-"

"Stop" his voice was smooth, and cracked a little causing Izuku to straighten up "just stop" he turned to see Katsuki bent over, elbows on the table with his hands on his head. He looked so utterly defeated and Izuku couldn't ever remember seeing him look so vulnerable. Maybe in the memories that were taken away? He thought but doubted it.

"Alright" he nodded and felt bad for him Izuku knew his empathy would one day be the death of him, but they had been friends once, a long time ago. Turning to make him a glass of water he placed it in front of him. "I can help ... take you to bed?" He offered picking at his sleeves "stronger than I look" he laughed nervously

Katsuki didn't respond and Izuku sighed before pushing off the counter to leave

"How did you know me? After the wipe?" His voice came, it was gravelly and if Izuku didn't know better... thick with emotion, as if he was ready to cry "Mum said Auntie Inko said you were erasing me" he finally looked up and Izuku had to fall back against the counter for support. His eyes were wide, bright with unshed tears and he was scared... Katsuki never got scared. Izuku's breath hitched and he had to restart his brain. The urge to comfort someone in pain taking control as he sat in the chair opposite and reached over, stopping just before the contact so he let his hand fall flat on the table, close to Katsuki. This was a Katsuki he had never known, and it scared him, how did he handle him?

"That's only partially true" he said softly "I- I mean I couldn't just erase you completely, we have school and our Mums are best friends. We were friends" he shrugged and this caused Katsuki to frown "I erased the part of me that... cared for you" he said

"So what? Now I'm just some classmate who scares you and you dont care about one way or the other?" He frowned deeply

"I still care, Katsuki" he sighed "I remember we were friends, I remember I miss that but..."

"But what?"

"I don't remember loving you. I had to let go, let you go so I wasn't holding you back. Or myself" he shrugged and the colour drained from the blondes face "I guess I was right, it was blinding me, and I wouldn't stop so" he shrugged "I still want you to succeed but I don't have that... that need to be by your side anymore. You clearly don't want or need me there, our dreams can still happen, even without each other there" he smiled softly

"Y-you loved me?" He asked weakly "like a friend, right?"

"I was told I was in love with you" Izuku said smoothly "I don't see it though" he smiled softly

"Because even you wouldn't be that stupid" Katsuki jabbed but there was no force to it and Izuku felt his face heat up. "Is that why you don't call me Kacchan anymore?" He asked hesitantly

"Um... maybe? I remember calling you it, I had it in my phone but... when I um, after, I never felt the need to say it. I don't remember when I started so... maybe it was one of the memories wiped? Also you clearly hated it. It was rude of me to keep saying it either way"

"I still call you Deku" he shrugged and Izuku nodded "did you not like it?" He asked and Izuku thought back

"In middle school no, you twisted it, and it hurt. But when we got here... it was different... and it feels like our thing. If you still wanted to say it I felt like a part of you must care right? Nobody here knew us in middle school nobody to egg you on and" Deku felt a little pathetic but it was different now

"And now?" Katsuki asked and Izuku could have sworn he saw a little fear spark in those eyes again

"I feel the same way about it, like when we were kids" he admitted "honestly it would be strange if you didn't call me Deku, I guess even not in love with you, a part of me would still always want to be your friend. But I understand that its not what you want. And after graduation well... we will only see each other in the field I guess" he laughed nervously. "Goodnight Katsuki" he said thinking he had said more than enough "be careful going to bed"

"Ugh, help me" he said bitterly but Izuki didn't hesitate to put the large boys arm over his shoulder as he wrapped his arm around his waist to help him up.

"I can walk you know!" He grumbled but Izuku only smiled

"Yeah, but isn't this better?" He asked in a light teasing tone. He had relaxed because Katsuki had been so calm and vulnerable. And he only hoped it would last until he could at least get him to his room.

The older boy just clicked his tongue before looking away.

"Always got to be a grump" he whispered as they approached the elevator pressing the button. The silence was deafening and Izuku felt his anxiety spike they had nothing to say

"It was your birthday" Katsuki's voice spoke causing Izuku to jump slightly

"Excuse me?" He asked softly

"Kacchan. It was your birthday, that was the first time you called it me" he said in a tone Izuku couldn't place. "I'd ruined your cake... being me and I fell onto the thing causing it to break apart, got all over you"

"Did I cry?" He asked with a slight smirk but his breath hitched when he looked up to the blonde and saw the glazed look in his eyes, the slight half smile that had his fang poke out slightly. Izuku felt like his heart skip as his breath was stolen from him. Was he always... he thought but he couldn't bring himself to think it. He just, couldn't.

"No" he finally answered "we all froze, you'd hear a fucking pin drop and then you broke into a shit eating grin before bursting out laughing 'Kacchan you should see your face' you said and that was it... I never accepted Katsuki from you ever again" He admitted and cleared his throat

"Why not?" He asked softly trying to ignore the flutter in his chest

"You..." he scowled and then shook his head

"Doesn't matter" he sighed "You wiped it for a reason, right?" He smirked down at him but Izuku sensed the sadness in him. The elevator opened and Izuku turned to head for Katsuki's room before halting

"Fucking what?" Katsuki asked

"Your room. Kirishima said you were bunking with him again, something about a broken bed?" Izuku said looking up to Katsuki questioningly.

"Right" he huffed frowning deeply "He'll be asleep" he stood up and wobbled a bit "I'll just sleep downstairs" he stumbled to the elevator where Izuku grabbed his arm

"You can sleep in my room?" He offered "I have a futon"

"You're not scared I'll do something?" He asked sarcastically and Izuku looked down to the floor guilt biting at his chest. He had been jumpy and distant with Katsuki

"I just... I told you I'd leave you alone. And you make me nervous I can never... predict what will set you off" he shrugged telling him the truth "I'm not a stranger to pain that's not what scares me"

"So what does?" He asked his voice coated with curiosity and Izuku frowned

"I don't know anymore" he admitted letting the blonde go "I just know you'll do better without me... chasing you?" He wasn't sure that sounded right. But Katsuki had already improved with his anger, there had been fewer outburst and he'd been in less trouble with the teachers... the only downside was how he interacted with the others in the class.

"Right, cause you're such a fucking problem" he spat out and Izuku looked at him his eyes widening as the familiar stab of hurt hit his chest. For some reason it still hurt to be rejected so completely but he supposed that was the part of him that just craves to be accepted. So much so he takes the bad no matter how little there is of the good. But the look Katsuki was giving him wasn't the same, he looked furious, even a little disgusted but somehow... it wasn't aimed at Izuku.

"Well, I am distracting" he chuckled out nervously picking at the hem of his shirt "so... um... my room or the couch?" He prodded ignoring the way Katsuki's face fell, his mouth parting slightly in surprise

"Room" he snapped out before stumbling past Izuku to his room.

-

Izuku didn't understand the interaction he had with Katsuki. It was wierd, he hadn't had a conversation without an insult or attack in so long. And he seemed sad, and if Izuku was being honest he had sensed that for a while.

"K-Katsuki?" He asked softly rolling on his side and propping his head on his arm. The blonde tensed and rolled over to face him

"Did something happen?" He asked "I just- if you needed to talk" he bit his lip "you seem sad" he explained and Katsuki pursed his lips and lay on his back putting his hands behind his head. Izuku did not notice how his muscles flexed. He didn't notice the blanket lowered on the blondes strong, bare chest.

"Guess so" he frowned not really answering the question "Deku?" He asked and Izuku hummed in response "why aren't you mad? Why don't you hate me" He asked

Izuku bit his cheek and frowned

"I... Well I know you can be great, and you have a good heart. Whatever reason you have for taking me out of it doesn't excuse the fact you were a good friend. Or that you're going to be one of the best heroes there will ever be" he chuckled but the laugh died in his throat when Katsuki looked to him eyes burning with rage

"Heroes don't-" he cut off sitting up quickly. Izuku felt his body go to move but hesitated for a moment, before climbing out of his bed to kneel next to his ex best friend

"Kids do terrible things Katsuki" he whispered "you learnt to be better eventually"

The blonde turned to face him his eyes falling to Izuku's bare shoulder as he grazed the back of his knuckles on the scar. Izuku shivered at the hot touch. There was that glazed look in Katsuki's eyes again

"Good friend my ass" he muttered "heroes don't hurt people either" he spat out and Izuku felt it click. He felt bad! He- was that why he didn't accept his attempts to be friends again? Did he? Did he feel like he didn't deserve it?

"It's not your fault it scarred so bad" he whispered "i- I hid it, tried to look after it myself so mum and auntie Mitsuki wouldn't find out" he smiled softly

"You should have told someone" the blonde said softly "you should have kicked my ass when you got All For One" he added but Izuku frowned at the thought "I guess if you were in love with me it makes sense why you didn't but..." he trailed off

"Not after I erased it" Izuku supplied and was only answered with a nod

"I guess I'm just not capable of hate" he said as Katsuki frowned

"I am" he whispered and before Izuku could respond soft, silky blonde hair was against his shoulder as Katsuki leant down to rest his head there. Izuku was confused, he didn't understand why he was acting like this, was it the alcohol?

Izuku denied the statement

"you're just boisterous, I don't think you've hated anyone... even me" but he had to admit that was only hope

"I don't hate you" Katsuki whispered "I've never hated you" his voice cracked and Izuku felt his eyes widen and as if on instinct he lifts his hands to the blondes head, brushing his fingers through Katsuki's hair.

"K-katsuki?" Izuku breathed "I am really confused" He admitted

"I know. Sorry" he cleared his throat his hand flattening over the scar "I'm so... fucking sorry Izuku" he choked out and Izuku felt his heart drop.

"It's okay" he whispered wrapping his other arm around the broad, muscular shoulders "I never blamed you, truly" which okay he wasn't sure was the case, but he didn't see it being wrong either.

His heart pounded heavy as Katsuki moved his other arm to wrap around his waist burying his head into Izuku's neck

"That's the problem" he whispered and it finally hit Izuku. He wants to be blamed, he wants to be punished and that thought was terrifying

"Katsuki... you said you can..." he trailed off and he couldn't say it. No way could that be the case, right? He swallowed and realised he didn't want to know. He wasn't sure how he would take the news Katsuki hated himself. "you want to be punished?" He asked instead

"Not like this" he said his voice breaking "I... I wanted you to hurt me, as much as I had you but... not like this" he slurred holding Izuku tightly "I thought... I'd be... okay if you..." he trailed off and suddenly he was heavy against Izuku. He'd fallen asleep, he realised and held onto him a little more firmly. He was just drunk, right? That's what this was and he shouldn't get his hopes up. But he did wonder... how was he hurting him?

The next morning he woke to see Katsuki was gone, the futon and blanket were folded and left in the corner. Izuku frowned

I am seriously struggling with my main stories. So naturally i am updating others or making completely new ones