Jessica's Point of View

I hadn't told Luna anything about what happened with Xemnas. I didn't want to say anything until I had answers. The following morning, I contemplated staying in bed and telling Xemnas I wasn't up for a mission, but I needed to clear my head, and I couldn't do that from The Castle That Never Was. I trudged on my way to the Grey Area. Xigbar was standing in the hall, seemingly waiting for something. "You okay? You looked a little out of it yesterday."

"No, I am not okay? Any more dumb questions?" I snapped.

"Whoa, hey, no need to be so aggressive. I'm just looking out for you," Xigbar commented.

"You've never looked out for me before. What changed?" I questioned.

"The truth? I'm supposed to gain a better standing with you. See, Xemnas doesn't know about our deal, and I'd like to keep it that way. He thinks that me keeping him away from the lab is so I can gain your trust and make you vulnerable toward me," Xigbar explained.

I chuckled weakly. "At least you're honest to me about your motives. Xemnas is something else entirely. You don't know anything about why he's so fixated on me, do you?"

"You mean other than your keyblade?" Xigbar questioned.

"Somehow, I don't think he treats Roxas the same way he treats me, even though Roxas has a keyblade," I remarked.

"Got a good point there. Well, I don't know, Rabbit," Xigbar said.

"Rabbit?" I asked.

"Should I think of something else? I'm running out of names here," Xigbar wondered.

"No. Rabbit is fine," I sighed.

Xigbar ruffled my hair. "Good."

"Hey, you're messing up my hair!" I whined as I shoved his arm away. He laughed. "Hey, Xig? Thanks."

"Don't thank me yet. You still owe me one. Don't forget that," Xigbar reminded.

"I know," I replied as I headed into the Grey Area. I approached Saix. "Please tell me you have something for me today."

"Against my better judgment, I have been instructed to give you a mission with Roxas today. You will be heart collecting in Agrabah," Saix stated as he handed me my mission information. I glanced in Roxas's direction before looking at my mission papers.

"Is this supposed to be his version of an apology?" I grumbled.

"Not that it's any of my business, but are you and Lord Xemnas fighting again?" Saix inquired.

"Not exactly," I huffed. I spotted something different where my name usually was. It said Serenity instead. I ripped up the papers in a fit of rage. "I can't stand him!"

"That was extremely uncalled for," Saix growled.

"What, is this a joke? Are you in on it, too?" I snapped.

"What are you talking about?" Saix scoffed.

"My name! It's not Serenity! It's Jessica!" I screamed.

"Clearly. You're the least serene person I know. What is this all about? At this point, you're practically speaking gibberish," Saix frowned.

"This is about-" I started.

"Jessica, enough!" Xemnas boomed. He turned to Saix. "See to it that Roxas doesn't leave without her." Xemnas grabbed my wrist and took me to his office. He let go of me and stood behind his desk. "Saix had nothing to do with that. I'm sorry. I thought it might-"

"I'm going to kill you!" I lunged at him, but he put up a magic barrier in my path. I screamed in pain as the magic in the barrier attacked me. "Why? Why do you know about Serenity?"

"Perhaps I should tell you, but only after you calm yourself," Xemnas decided. The barrier faded, and I forced myself to take deep breaths and sit in the chair across from him. "No more outbursts?" I rolled my eyes. "Jessica?"

"Whatever," I sneered.

"Clearly, you are not in the right mindset to have this discussion. Go on your mission and come see me when you get back," Xemnas ordered.

As much as I wanted to get my answers, a part of me knew he was right. I had completely lost it. "Fine," I sighed.

"Do you have any lasting effects from my barrier? I know it stung," Xemnas checked.

"I'm fine now," I mumbled as I got up.

"I didn't want to do that, you know. It was entirely self-defense. I don't enjoy seeing you get hurt," Xemnas mentioned. I studied his face. He looked as though he was feeling guilt.

"You're getting better at mimicking emotions. You almost convinced me," I commented before leaving the room. I went back to the Grey Area and approached Roxas while he was looking over his mission information. He flinched when I stopped in front of him. I realized he had seen my meltdown. "Hey, um, you ready?"

"Yeah. Do you want to look at my papers before we go?" Roxas offered.

"It's just heart collecting, right? It's pretty standard," I smiled, hoping he wouldn't be afraid of me if I played everything off as normal.

"I guess," Roxas replied. He opened a dark corridor and began to walk through it.

"I'm sorry you had to see that. I haven't been myself since that mission in Castle Oblivion where everyone died. I lost the three people I care about most," I explained.

"I guess I can sort of understand. I lost Axel," Roxas said.

"Yeah? Did you get close to him or something?" I wondered.

"I guess you could say that. We're friends," Roxas answered.

"That's cool. I was Axel's friend, too. I think Axel's death had been hard on Saix also. He's not the same as he used to be. He was my friend, too," I recalled.

"Saix? There's no way," Roxas gasped.

"He wasn't always this way. Now he's completely into work. It probably doesn't help that I yelled at him when he tried to help me. You know, I don't get it. Even though you guys don't have hearts, sometimes it seems like you do," I mused.

"You say that like you're not like us," Roxas noticed.

"I'm not a Nobody," I stated.

"You're not? What are you doing here?" Roxas asked.

"I'm Vexen's daughter. I lived with the Organization for a long time. Now that he's gone, I don't know..." I trailed off.

"What's a daughter?" Roxas questioned.

"What?" I wondered, thinking I must have misheard him.

"You said you were Vexen's daughter. What's that?" Roxas inquired.

"How do you not know?" I gaped.

"I've only been around for a couple months. I don't know a lot of things yet," Roxas blushed.

"You don't remember anything before the Organization?" I realized. Roxas shook his head. It gave me hope that he still could have been Ventus. "Okay. A daughter is like... Well, Vexen is my father. He took care of me and made sure I was well behaved."

"Like Xemnas?" Roxas brought up.

"No!" I exclaimed. I lowered my voice. "No. Not like Xemnas. It's more like... I don't know. He took care of my emotional needs as well as my physical needs, and he cared about me in a way that only a father can. He also disciplined me to make sure that I didn't become unruly. I must not be making a lot of sense to you. I guess I can't really explain it." We stepped out of the dark corridor.

"I wish Axel were here. He would know how to explain it," Roxas sighed. I laughed at the thought of Axel explaining fathers and daughters to Roxas. "What?"

"Nothing. Let's get to work," I chuckled.

We began taking out Heartless one by one until our quota was complete. "You wanna come to the clock tower in Twilight Town? Axel said he used to take you there. I've been going there since I started in the Organization. We can eat ice cream together," Roxas offered.

I thought about finding out why Xemnas was suddenly so fixated on me being Serenity. He was supposed to tell me when I was calm enough to hear it, but I also dreaded what he would say. I feared the truth would be hard to take. It wasn't like Xemnas was going anywhere, so I figured I could spare an extra hour or two. "Yeah. Sounds great," I agreed. Roxas opened a dark corridor to Twilight Town, and we purchased our ice cream before heading to the clock tower. When we got there, I felt all of my worries fade away as I watched the sunset in bliss. "I had forgotten how beautiful the sunset is from up here." There was a pang of guilt that I was enjoying it without Axel, but I pushed it aside.

"It really is something. Axel and I came here every day after work. When he left for Castle Oblivion, I invited Xion. She hasn't been around lately, though," Roxas mentioned.

"Really? I wonder why. She was definitely diligent in seeing you after every mission when you were in a coma. I would go with her sometimes," I commented.

"You did? Why did you do that?" Roxas wondered.

"I thought you were someone I met," I answered.

"Someone you met? Do you think you knew me before I was a Nobody?" Roxas pressed.

"I don't know. Xemnas denies it. You even sound like my friend, but some things don't add up. I wouldn't get your hopes up if I were you," I mused.

"Oh," Roxas replied.

I finished off my ice cream. "Hey, I should get back. I was supposed to talk to Xemnas after my mission. This was a good distraction, though. Thanks."

"Will you come by tomorrow?" Roxas asked.

"I don't know. Without Axel... it's not the same. I'll come by if I feel up to it," I decided. I opened a dark corridor and went through.

Xemnas was waiting for me in the Grey Area. "What took you so long?" He inquired.

"That's personal," I stated.

I could tell Xemnas wanted to press for more details, but instead, he began walking to his office. I followed him. He shut the door and took a seat behind his desk when we went inside. I sat in the chair across from him. "First of all, I'm sorry for the confusion I caused you. I see my actions upset you greatly. I am truly sorry," He began.

"I might believe that if you actually had a heart," I muttered under my breath.

He didn't seem to notice and continued. "The truth is, Terra's is not the first body I have used as a vessel."

I stood up in shock. I was entirely repulsed. "What is wrong with you?!" I snapped.

Xemnas was unfazed. "Will you let me finish, or are you going to continue to yell at me? I cannot go on if you get this upset."

I glared at him as I slowly sat back down. "I'm listening," I said.

"The truth is that I knew Serenity long ago. She was someone very dear to me. I watched over her in the shadows when she was reborn as Usagi Tsukino and Sailor Moon. When I found you, I thought it was a coincidence that you looked like Serenity. All I cared about was that you were the 8th light and 14th darkness. When I discovered who you were, I realized just how much of a mistake I had made. I wish I had found a way to involve you less. When I regained my memories, which wasn't until my last day as a human, I selfishly wanted to keep you by my side. I brought you to the Organization and have tried to do what is best for you ever since," Xemnas explained.

Tears welled up in my eyes as a terrible realization hit me. "This whole time, you have been referring to Xehanort as though you were entirely him. You never were Terra, were you?"

"Of course, that's what you care about," Xemnas scoffed. He sounded jealous, but I knew it was all fake. "I would be lying if I told you there was no part of me that is Terra, but most of who I am is Xehanort."

The tears that had been gathering streamed down my cheeks. "I hate you," I muttered before leaving, slamming the door behind me. I headed to my room and let myself fall apart. I hated that he had manipulated me by leading me to believe that Terra was half of who he was. Had I known he was almost completely Xehanort, I wouldn't have gotten close to him in the first place. There was so much I regretted.

One hundred chapters already. I wanted to do something special, so I made this the first mission that Jessica had with Roxas. I hope you enjoyed reading.