Na, na, na, na, NA! Na, na, na, na, NA! What's New Scoo-Wait, wrong story-FUCK!

Sorry, I was watching some of Scooby-Doo, and… yeah. Okay, just ignore that part.

Ash stared at the smiling woman in front of him on his front steps so casually like it was normal. He was shocked at seeing yet another demon just popping into his life, not in Hell, the Abyss, but here in the world of the living.

"Is something wrong?" She asked.

"Nothing's wrong, uh… c-could you just give me a second?" He quickly closed the door. "Lucifer!"

"Yes, darling!?" Lucifer called back.

"Uh, we there's a… um…"

"What?" The queen asked while looking out from the kitchen.

"I uh… I… you have to see this."

She rose a brow before leaving and going to the door where he was. She opened the door, hoping it wouldn't be a pain in the neck, only for her eyes to widen.

"Oh wow." She said to herself.

"Lucy!" The other demon says happily before suddenly hugging the queen tightly. "Oh, it's so good to see you again!"

"Gh-Hi, it's… good to see you too, Baphy."

"It's been such a long time. You look so different."

"Yeah, and you haven't changed a bit."

"I gotta say, I love the new outfit. Is it alright if I come inside?"

"Sure. Come on in."

Lucifer stepped aside as the lady walked inside. "Wow, this place looks just as small as the inside." She says while looking around. "Oh hello, Judgement."

"... H-hi." Judgement says in astonishment.

"BAPHY!" Cerberus yelled as all three of them practically jumped on her.

"Yo, am I hearing right?" Justice also says while popping her head in. "Baphomet, is that you?!"

"You know her?" Ash asked.

"Yes, we actually go way back." Lucifer tells him.

"We certainly do." The woman says as she gets up after petting Cerberus, before going right up to the boy. "And you must be the one and only Helltaker I've been hearing about." She then grabbed him by the cheeks. "You are so adorable! Ooh, little cute Helltaker you."

"Okay, you can stop touching me now." Ash says as she stops. "Also, my name is Ash, not Helltaker."

"Nice to meet you. I'm Baphomet. I hope you don't mind the sudden visit."

"Baphomet?"

"Well, there is this one girl I know though. Her name is Baphomet and she has a particular fetish for goats."

"Oh yeah, Lucy mentioned you before."

"Yep, and now you can finally put a face to the name." Lucifer explained.

"Aha, I knew you didn't forget about me." Baphomet says before her tone changes. "Now that we're here…" She then took out her phone and held it up with a huge blush. "Can you shapeshift into a goat for me, just this one time?"

"And there it is."

"Oh come on, Lucy! Please? Just this once. I just wanna see you as a goat like you used to do back then." She whined while Ash looked down, seeing her little goat tail shaking, finding it cute.

(Later)

The new house guest was now sitting in the dining room with a cup of coffee in hand, Ash coming back down after getting changed.

"I know you usually stay in the mortal realm and all, but what brings you here?" Lucifer asked.

"Well, I was just shopping around Saffron City, and I just so happened to catch the little Helltaker here walking around with a certain member of customer service." Baphomet says before taking a sip.

"Wait, you stay up here?" Ash asked, again astonished.

"That's right. You have to admit, this place is so full of wonders and such amazing creatures you can't find in Hell."

"You mean like the Skiddo you brought here?" Ash then referred to the aforementioned Pokemon eating the couch's arm.

"No duh. He's such a sweet little boy and so cute." Baphomet says as the little goat goes over and rubs its head against her making her laugh before picking it up and scratching it. "Oh, who's a good boy, Skiddy? Who's a good boy?"

"Well, it's nice to meet another nice face. We met this many demons until… well, my son came home with a whole group of them." Delia says.

"Mime, mime." Mr. Mime spoke up.

"Well, I'll say, when I heard the rumors of him being so young I hardly believed it at first." The demon woman.

"Okay, I'm not that young. I'm only a year from being an adult." Ash tells her.

"That's still plenty young. That must be a real achievement for you." She says as he looks slightly annoyed. "I'm more interested in how you managed to get Lucifer to leave Hell and join your harem."

"Well, he does have quite the charm to him." Lucifer says while putting an arm around the boy's shoulder.

"I've been getting that a lot." Ash joked at first before clearing his throat. "Is she gonna ask to join too or something?"

"PFFT! Haha!" Baphomet laughed. "Oh, that is so cute that you think that. I still remember the human grandmaster who once loved me. Unfortunately, he's not around after being burned to death by a greedy king." She says casually.

Ash gave her a blank stare, starting to sweat a bit. "Oh, you don't have to worry, darling. Baphomet has a major goat fetish so it's doubtful she'd be interested in a human." Lucifer explained before letting go of him.

"... okay, gotcha." He says back.

"Well, actually there is one way we could fix that." Baphomet says with a gleam in her eyes.

'Oh no, what is she thinking.' Ash thought to himself.

Next thing he knew, the goat-obsessed demon raised her hand and snapped her fingers. Then POOF! Smoke came out of nowhere causing the boy to cough for a moment before he started to realize something immediately felt off.

Not only did his clothes feel more… well stuffed, but it also felt like something was covering his entire body, and his face felt like it was slightly stretched out with his nose suddenly feeling reshaped, his ears drooped and he could feel them on his shoulders and he felt something sticking out from his back.

When he looked down, he noticed a few things. One: his arms were covered in black fur, two: his hands were now paws, three: that it wasn't just his arms in fur but the rest of his body, four: he could see he had a snout now, and five: he turned back and saw a little fluffy tail just above his butt.

"Wait a second…" He then turned to the window and ran over to it. "Wha… what the hell!?" He looked down at his body again, realizing he was turned into an anthropomorphic goat.

"A black goat?!" Baphomet squealed as she went up to the boy while grabbing his shoulders. "This is a jackpot! It's so hard to find one anywhere!" She says while getting up in his face while her bangs separated revealing a pentagram on her forehead.

"I thought you could only change your own appearance!?" Ash yelled to the queen.

"I never said that was all we could do. Though, we don't transform others much often." Lucifer says.

"You look so much more handsome like this." Baphomet says as her eyes started to glow red and the boy got especially worried upon seeing the hearts above her head especially when she got ever so close to him. "May I check your ding dong-"

The next thing she knew, she was chained to the couch, still all smiley. "REFRAIN YOURSELF." Judgement says.

"Sorry for that, hon." Lucifer says before snapping her fingers which turns Ash back to normal. "Though don't expect this to be the last time she does something like this."

"So now I have to worry about being turned into a goat? Good to know." Ash says with half-closed eyelids.

"Come on, bud. It ain't that bad." Justice laughed while ruffling his hair as she went up to the couch. "Sup, Baphomet. Haven't seen you since you went to see that milf goat. Didja get to meet her?"

"Oh, she was so lovely!" Baphomet says all giddy. "She made me pies that were delicious and was so kind to me. Oh just thinking of her mature scent is making me hor-"

"OKAY! OKAY! I don't need to hear anymore!" Ash yelled while waving his arms around before sighing. "It's bad enough that Modeus says stuff like that so casually." He says as the queen giggles.

"Ya know actually she had a human child that she was raising besides her own."

"Huh?" The boy was caught off when hearing such.

"Yeah, I have a picture from when I used to visit. You wanna see?"

"... Sure, I guess. Judgement, let her go." He says as the demon lady undoes her chains.

"Hold on, let me find it." Baphomet then pulled out her phone and went through it before showing it to him. "See? Doesn't she look cute?"

Ash looked at the picture which was of her with short hair and a sleeveless dress shirt, which gave him a view of a moon tattoo on her shoulder. Standing next to her was a girl who looked younger than him with a bob haircut wearing a green sweater with a yellow stripe.

He was a little put off by the doll-like smile on her face… and the mirror in the background which showed Baphomet not only having wing tattoos but the girl holding a knife behind her. It was… unsettling for him to say the least.

"Yeah, uh… real cute…" He says uneasy.

"Do my eyes deceive me?" Everyone then to Beelzebub who chuckled as she leaned on the stair railing. "If it ain't Baphomet, herself. Long time no see."

"Beelzebub!?" Baphomet says out of shock before running over to her.

"In the flesh."

"Wow, you haven't changed either. I thought you were banished for trying to steal Lucifer's throne!"

"Oh, I was. Thousands of years being trapped in a void and now I am free and no longer trapped within."

"I see. So, how was it?"

"Absolutely terrible, I do not want to go back there, ever again." Beelzebub says while her brow furrowed. "Seriously."

"Wish you'd stay there." Lucifer said under her breath before the boy glared at her and she cleared her throat.

"The queen of Hell, the High Prosecutor, and the Great Fly at once. Wow, you must have some luck to yourself." Baphomet says. "Is there any more I'm missing?"

"I'm confiscating this!" Pandemonica's voice came from upstairs.

"MY RESEARCH!" Azazel's voice was also heard as well.

The two were heard struggling as Ash groaned in annoyance before running to the stairs to break them up. However, as he reached the landing, they came rolling down, Beelzebub jumping over the railing to avoid getting hit, at the expense of the boy getting the brunt of the impact, papers flying everywhere.

The tired demon and curious angel lay sprawled on Ash who was dazed, the latter demon glaring at the angel who laughed nervously. Judgement face palmed in annoyance, Beelzebub chuckling and Lucifer just simply shook her head at the events that unfolded.

Pandemonica with her horns long scrambled to get the pictures back into the folder she had before the angel tried to take them from her. "Knock it off!"

"But this is detrimental to my thesis!" Azazel says while trying to pull it away.

"PIKACHU!" Pikachu screamed as he shocked both of them, leaving them covered in sot.

"Thanks, Pikachu." Ash says as he stood up. "What are you two arguing about?" He then says while snatching the folder.

"Wait, Ash-Don't!" Monica tried to stop him, but was too late.

Ash opened the folder and looked inside, only to raise an eyebrow at what he was looking at. The tired demon turned away while covering her face, her horns shrinking as he picked up a picture from it before looking back and taking another one out.

"I don't understand. Why are you freaking out over pictures of you?" He asked, confused.

"Those are mine actually." Azazel says before happily going up beside him. "See, whenever you aren't around, Pandemonica tries to sneak around and make her own coffee, but as you can tell from the disgusted looks on her face, she is not satisfied with what she makes and…" She slowly stops in realization. "I'm now realizing how degrading I sound. I am so sorry, Pandemonica! Please forgive me!" She then says to the tired demon while clapping her hands together.

"But…" Ash says while looking at the aforementioned demon who was flustered and hiding her face. "What's so bad about-" Before he could finish, she snatched the folder from him and rushed upstairs and slammed her room's door. "What? What was that all about?" He asked still not understanding.

"Well, from my analysis, I believe she is too embarrassed to admit that she's been trying to replicate the way you make her coffee for her." Azazel says.

"Really? That's nothing to be embarrassed by."

"Well, she seems to believe so."

"An angel as well?" Baphomet says, gaining their attention.

"Another demon!" Azazel says with a gleam in her eyes before going over to her. "Hi, it's nice to meet you! I'm Azazel, an angel who's currently writing a thesis on demons. Could you perhaps tell me some details about yourself?"

"I'd be glad to. My name is Baphomet-"

"Baphomet… THE Baphomet!?" Azazel says as her eyes shined brighter before looking back and forth between the boy and the aforementioned demon. "TELL ME EVERYTHING! I WANT TO KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU! ARE THE RUMOURS ARE TRUE ABOUT YOU HAVING A GOAT FETISH!? IS IT TRUE THAT YOU RARELY STAY IN HELL-!?"

"Alright. I think you're done." Judgement says while grabbing her head and dragging her away while she is still blabbering on.

"Well, she's full of energy." Baphomet giggled.

"No kidding. It was kinda a shock to find her in hell." Ash says before Skiddo goes up to his leg and rubs against him. "Hey, little guy." He says while reaching down and scratching the Pokemon's head, getting a coo out of him.

"I think he likes you."

"I can see tha-HEY! HEY! STOP!" He stops while pushing the Skiddo who tries to eat his pants. "Don't eat that." He says as the Skiddo bleats at him.

"So, how long do you plan on staying?" Lucifer asked with curiosity.

"Oh, not that long. I am a busy woman after all." Baphomet says with a wave.

"Busy?" Beelzebub asked.

"Well, it's always nice to have friends come visit. Stop!" Ash says while pushing the Skiddo off him again. "You want something to eat? I think it's getting close to dinner time."

"Oh, I'd love to taste your cuisine." Baphomet says while clapping her hands together.

"Okay, I'll get started then." He then ran to the kitchen.

"He's a pretty good cook. You might like what he makes." Lucifer says.

"Okay… Oh." Ash says after opening the fridge. "Forgot to make a grocery run."

"Hey, it's cool, man. Me and Judgement can head out right now." Justice offered while leaning on the wall.

"You sure?" He asked with a raised brow.

"Yeah. I may be blind but I can still do things like this."

"I CAN'T LEAVE WITH THESE LUNATICS MISBEHAVING CONSTANTLY!" Judgement shouts.

"Oh come on. You don't wanna take a break or something? You've been cooped up in this place for ages now." Justice says.

"You girls have only been here for a month." Ash pipes up.

"Come on, think of it as a little stress reliever." Justice says while going over to the High Prosecutor putting a hand on her shoulder. "Just a small break, y'know."

"I…" Judgement says. "I don't know."

"I can take care of things here with Ash. If these girls act out of line, I'll take care of it." Lucifer says while Giratina pops up on her shoulder.

The High Prosecutor looked at the queen, then at Darkrai, then at Ash who was getting ingredients out with Pikachu. "I mean… okay." She sighed.

"That's the spirit." Justice says while patting her hard on the shoulder.

"Yeah, yeah. Come on. Let's not take too long." Judgement says as she and Darkrai head for the door.

"Wait, wait, you're not gonna get changed?" Ash called out.

"What do you mean?" She asked while looking back at him.

"Well… uh… just your outfit…" He says, looking nervous.

"What? What's wrong with my outfit?"

"Nothing it's just…" Ash says while looking down, his eyes falling on her cleavage. "A little… L-Lucy?"

"What he's trying to say is that…" Lucifer says before going up to the High Prosecutor and whispering into her ear.

After a second, Judgement's eyes slowly widened as her mouth went agape. After the queen pulled away, she slowly turned to Zdrada who was struggling to hold her laughter in, Justice standing by her. She then summoned her claws and chains.

"Oh no." Ash says worried.

If you were outside, you would hear the High Prosecutor screaming in rage, two demons laughing their asses off, furniture crashing, and glass shattering.

(Later)

After the debacle, the two demons along with Darkrai were leaving the grocery store with bags. The High Prosecutor was more decent, wearing dress pants with a red shirt… the top buttons were undone, revealing cleavage, but that was out of her concern.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU TRICKED ME INTO THAT SHIT." Judgement says in annoyance.

"Hey, don't blame the blind girl for your choice of wardrobe." Justice tells her.

"UNBELIEVABLE! A WHOLE MILLENNIA I SPENT WEARING THAT. I could've left the house dressed like a fucking skank if it wasn't for Ash who, unlike the rest of you lot, has the decency to tell me."

"Yeah, I can understand why." Justice says before looking at her. "Still, it's good to finally get out of the house, right?"

"Yeah, I guess so." Judgement sighed as Darkrai rubbed her shoulders. "As much as I don't hate this visit to the mortal realm, I wish those other girls would have more restraint. Not only are we out in the open, but the angels have eyes on us, and who knows what they'll pull if they see us doing… literally anything."

"Hey, if the angels wanted to do something to us, they would've already. I think we're all good."

(Speaking of which)

"-they would've already. I think we're all good."

Justice's voice came through a monitor, another nearby showing Ash having dinner with the demon harem, and two other ones showing different angles of the aforementioned monitor. Sitting in a chair in front of them was a black-haired girl dressed in white with a halo above her head looking at them with a hand on her chin.

"Hey, we have another problem." She called.

"What? What is it this time?" Another girl in white and a halo says while coming up to her.

"Look at this. I've been keeping an eye on the Ketchum family and they have an abundance of demons appearing in their house. Now we have Baphomet the Mysterious entering the home, and here we have the current and former High Prosecutors out getting groceries." The first says while showing the monitor of Judgement picking up a Growlithe

"Really?"

"Yes, I say we report it immediately before something horrible happens."

"Mmm! This is so delicious!" Baphomet's voice came through one as her Skiddo bleats in agreement.

The other angel looked at her, then at the monitors, then at the one looking at them.

"Okay, what are the chances that these are actually the real deal?" She asked as the first angel looked baffled. "Seriously, I need you to stop confusing these lookalikes with the actual ones."

"These aren't lookalikes! These are obviously them!"

"Sure, sure, and I'm sure that footage of Lucifer the Banished 'doing laundry' was also obviously her."

"They have freaking demon horns and tails!"

"Well, it's probably just that new cosplay crap or… whatever the kids call it nowadays."

"It's not! These are them and if we don't do something now, they're gonna cause trouble!" The angel monitoring says while referring to the screen

The screen in question showed Judgement giggling happily as she was playing with the Growlithe. The other angel gave her a blank face.

"Sure, of course. Ash Ketchum: Father's chosen one has brought the Devil: Lucifer, the High Prosecutor: Judgement, the Flybreaker: Justice, The Great Fly: Beelzebub, AND the Mysterious: Baphomet into his home from the mortal realm, and they haven't tried to kill him or wreak havoc among the world. Nice try."

"But-"

"Nice try."

"JUST LOOK!"

"Yeah, whatever. Report back when there is an actual problem." The angel says while waving her off as she leaves shutting the door.

"Ugh, why do I even try?" The remaining angel says before dropping her head on the desk.

She looked back at the monitors, then her eyes fell upon one of the people at the house. She squinted and got closer to the monitor before realization dawned on her as she saw the only angel in that group. Shaking her head, she grabbed the nearby phone and dialed a number, waiting for a moment while tapping her fingers on the desk.

"Greetings."

"Hello sir, I have something to report." She says while looking back at the monitor. "A big problem."

To be continued…

So, uh, if you don't see me update this, I'm probably doing more stuff on the Hazbin Hotel collab story. So if you wanna check that out, go ahead.