The velvet robe drags softly along the ground behind me, hood hanging low over my face. I try to keep a leisurely pace, but it is hard not to stride like a person full of buzzing anxiety. I must be invisible, as much a part of the furniture as a handmaiden on an errand. In this moment I am not Padmé but someone who looks almost like a Senator.
I slip unobtrusively into the medical bay and lock the door behind me. As I tread across the threshold, a silver medical droid lights up and cocks its head in curiosity.
"Welcome, patient. How might I be of service?"
Breathe, Padmé. "A pregnancy test, please."
"What is your medical number?"
I give Dormé's, hoping there are no consequences for her.
"As you wish." The droid twists to its left and pulls open a draw in the silver cabinet beside it. Reaching with a metal hand less sophisticated than Anakin's, the droid retrieves a small, oddly shaped device and passes it to me. "Would you like me to recite the instructions?"
"No, thank you." That information is readily available elsewhere and I have come prepared. Double-checking the lock on the door, I shed the velvet robe and go about the uncomfortable business of using the device. The deed done, I readjust my skirts and hand the device back to the droid.
"This will take approximately four minutes."
They are the longest four minutes of my life. A multitude of possibilities race through my mind, each path ending in danger. I try to focus on donning the robe again. Inhale. Exhale.
Four minutes later, the droid bleats, "The results have been analysed." I am the most awake I have ever been. "Congratulations Dormé, you are six weeks pregnant with twin embryos. Both are healthy but I recommend you check in with a medical droid or professional regularly."
The world stops. Tears spring to my eyes and I stifle a gasp. Mistrusting my legs, I plant myself on a nearby bench.
There is deep joy. There is twisting grief. There is fear for Anakin. Fear for myself. And also, a vision of two children playing in a field on Naboo. Twins.
I have wanted this for so long, but I chose this career knowing there would be no time for a family. I buried that hope still deeper the moment I stared into Anakin's eyes and saw my future there. There has never been any space for this in my life and yet it has made its own space. Two miracle babies. Two embryos that could cost their parents' careers. Still, I cannot stop myself from smiling.
"Is there anything else I can do for you?" the medical droid asks, bringing me back to the present.
"Um, yes." I gather myself and breathe deeply. "Please delete all record of this pregnancy test and its results."
The droid pauses for a moment. "Do you have a clearance code?"
My fingers form fists and I pray the hacking code Irdé found will do what it's supposed to. I recite the code and wait for tense seconds.
"Thank you, Dormé. That record has been deleted. Is there anything else I can do for you?"
"No. Thank you."
Dashing tears from my eyes, I lower the velvet hood and exhale. I can hold it together until I get back to my chambers. I can hold this secret inside me. I am a Senator, after all.