'That was the strangest episode I have ever seen,' Ash said. 'Byron is even crazier than Vicky Pollard!'

'How could he do all that to his son?' Misty wondered. 'That guy is just as evil as my sisters are!'

'That reminds me of another ridiculous episode,' Ash said. He put a videotape in the VHS player, hoping that another old episode could get some more laughs out of Misty.

2000 - 'I am in a one-sided open relationship'

'JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!' the audience chanted, while the talk show host entered the stage in the television studio.

'Hello, welcome to the show. Our next guest says that he ended up in a one-sided open relationship. Please welcome Falkner to the show,' Jerry said.

'Hi Jerry,' Falkner said.

'Hello Falkner. Why are you here?'

'My girlfriend Clair and I are together for three years. Our relationship has been happy until, well, stuff happened.'

'What kind of stuff?' Jerry asked.

'A few months ago, my girlfriend Clair went to Blackthobury, a music festival in Blackthorn City. She went there with her friends Jasmine and Whitney. During David Bowie's performance, Clair met a man named Lt. Surge. She told me that after singing along with Heroes and Starman, she kissed him and that the next time she met a hot bloke, she would like to do more than just kissing. And so, she told me that she wanted to open our relationship.'

'How did that make you feel?'

'Awful!' Falkner cried. 'I felt like she was asking me for permission to cheat. I reluctantly agreed to the open relationship, purely because I didn't want her to break up with me.'

'That is so sad! Does she have any idea how you feel about this?'

'No. And I don't think she really cares. Like, she said that I should be happy, because I get to sleep with other people as well. But when you don't want to sleep with anybody else than the woman I love, that sexual wildcard is meaningless. But it gets even worse than that...'

'How is your relationship with Clair now?'

'It's terrible! She goes out to hook up all the time. She sleeps with other men at least three times per week, went poly, has Lt. Surge as a boyfriend on the side and hasn't had sex with me since we opened our relationship.'

'And have you hooked up with anyone since the relationship got opened?' Jerry asked.

'No. At first, I just didn't feel like it, since I just wanted to sleep with my beloved Clair. However, when she didn't have sex with me for over four months, I realised that I had to find someone else if I wanted to satisfy my urges. So I told Clair that I wanted to go to the pub and see if I could hook up with someone that. But Clair wasn't having any of it.'

'What did she say?'

'She said that she would never be okay with me sleeping with someone else. If ever touched another woman, she would kill that slut and dump me. She sleeps around all the time and is dating Surge, but I'm expected to stay at home and be a good boy!' Falkner cried. 'She pressured me into this open relationship under the impression that I could sleep with other people as well, but now I'm stuck in a one-sided open relationship!'

Jerry had a stern look on his face. 'Why are you putting up with this? Why are you staying with her?'

'What do you mean? I love her! Why wouldn't I stay with her?' Falkner asked.

'If you accept this one-sided open relationship and stay with Clair, you are basically telling her that you are okay with this arrangement,' Jerry explained. 'Why would she alter her ways if you put up with all this? You are pretty much allowing her to keep doing what she is doing.'

'But I love her! I don't want to break up!' Falkner protested.

'Well, I don't sense any love from her side. If what you told me is true, she clearly doesn't love you,' Jerry said. 'Someone who loves you wouldn't treat you the way she treats you.'

Tears started to stream from Falkner's eyes. The man from Johto knew that Jerry was right. The kind, sweet Clair who he loved no longer existed. She had been replaced by a mean, cold-hearted, selfish person who only cared about her own pleasure.

'I'll tell you what. I'll let you talk to her,' Jerry said. 'She has been watching backstage. Here is Clair!'

While the audience started booing the blue-haired Gym Leader from Blackthorn City, she entered the television studio and walked up to Jerry. 'Hey sexy! Do you wanna come to my hotel room after the show?'

'JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!' the audience cheered.

'I don't think so,' Jerry giggled. 'You're an attractive lady, but instead of flirting with me, I think you need to talk to your boyfriend.'

'Oh, he's a pussy. I can sleep with whoever I want to sleep with. He agreed to an open relationship. So come on, Jerry! Pound my pussy!' Clair suggested, while taking off her dress, revealing that she did not wear a bra or knickers. And so, the Gym Leader only wore her cape and nothing else.

Jerry gave Clair a stern look. 'I'm not interested in you that way.'

'Not interested? Are you gay, Jerry?' Clair asked.

'No. Why are you asking that?'

'No man has ever rejected me before! Any man who doesn't want to pound my pussy is gay. If you don't want to sleep with me, I will assume that you are gay.'

'I like women, but go ahead and think that if you want to be so arrogant,' Jerry said. 'I'm just not interested in you that way. But what I am interested in is why you are treating your boyfriend like shit. You are hooking up with different men all the time. So why is Falkner not allowed to have some fun?'

'Because I would be jealous! If he sleeps with another woman, I will murder that slut!' Clair yelled. 'And I would dump him for hurting my feelings. If he shags someone else than me, I would consider that cheating.'

'Well, if that's how you feel about your partner sleeping with other people, shouldn't you be in a monogamous relationship?' Jerry asked. 'It's hypocritical of you that you sleep around without allowing him to do the same. It would be a lot fairer if both of you were monogamous. Or if both of you were allowed to sleep with others. How could you possibly justify this one-sided situation?'

'Well, I am out of Falkner's league. I am much more attractive than he is,' Clair said. 'So if he wants to be with me, accepting a one-sided open relationship is the price he has to pay. He can date a less attractive woman who will accept monogamy, but there is no way he can date someone as hot as I am and expect things to be fair and square!'

'If that's how you feel, don't be surprised if Falkner decides that at some point, he would rather date someone who may be less conventionally attractive than you are than put up with your bullshit,' Jerry protested.

'Falkner doesn't have the balls to leave me,' Clair laughed. 'I've got him under my thumb.'

'Is that true, Falkner?' Jerry asked.

The Violet City Gym Leader went silent for a few seconds. 'I... I love Clair. I want to stay with her.'

'That may be, but I'm not sensing any love from her side,' Jerry noticed.

'That's rubbish! I love Falkner!' Clair protested. 'I want to be with him for the rest of my life! He just has to accept that I want to sleep with other men and have a boyfriend on the side. He needs to accept that he can't control my sexuality!'

'How am I controlling your sexuality by wanting to be monogamous?' Falkner asked. 'That's what we agreed on when we got together. There is nothing controlling about agreeing to be monogamous! And if we really must be in an open relationship, aren't you controlling my sexuality by not allowing me to have the sexual freedom you are enjoying?'

'JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!' the audience chanted.

'Like I said, I'm out of your league,' Clair answered. 'If you really love me, you have to accept this one-sided arrangement if you want to be with me. I want to have fun with other men, but I would not be able to handle it if you would shag some slut.'

Then, Jerry looked at a piece of paper. 'I have a name here. Who is Skyla?'

'Skyla is a Gym Leader from Unova,' Falkner said. 'We met at conferences for Flying type Gym Leaders a few times and have always had this flirty vibe. Two weeks ago, I ran into her at the Foo Fighters concert. When Dave Grohl asked a woman in the audience to join him for the song Everlong, Skyla got on stage. After their duet, she took off her top and asked Dave Grohl to sign her tits, but he refused and signed her The Colour and the Shape album cover instead. After the concert, we talked for a while.'

'Did you shag her?' a furious Clair asked. 'Oh my gosh, please don't tell me you slept with her!'

'No, we didn't do anything! Sure, I would have loved to. But I didn't want to lose you, so I turned her down,' Falkner explained.

'Anyways, here is Skyla!' Jerry shouted. A red-haired woman wearing a skimpy blue crop top and blue shorts entered the television studio and hugged the Gym Leader from Johto.

'JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!' the audience screamed.

'Back off, bitch! That's my man!' Clair screamed. She ran towards the woman from Mistralton City and smacked her on the head. Skyla defended herself by pushing Clair on the ground. She was about to kick Clair in the pussy, but Jerry's friend and security guard Chikorita decided to intervene. The Pokemon used his Vine Whip to carry Clair away from Skyla.

'CHIKO! CHIKO! CHIKO!' the audience shouted.

'Hello Skyla,' Jerry said. 'I heard that you and Falkner had a good time at a rock concert.'

'Yeah, I saw him take his shirt off and just couldn't stop staring at him,' Skyla said. 'Falkner is so sexy!'

Clair got up and tried to push the red-haired woman, but Chikorita held the Johtonian woman with his Vine Whip. 'Stay away from my man, bitch!'

'He deserves better than you!' Skyla snapped. 'If you're going to sleep around, at least allow him to do the same thing!'

'No! I would be fucking jealous if he did that!' Clair screamed. 'How the fuck can you expect me to allow my boyfriend to sleep with another woman?'

'Because you are expecting him to put up with it when you fuck all these dudes!' Skyla shouted. 'And you've been neglecting him since you opened the relationship!'

'I don't care! Whether he likes it or not, he is putting up with the one-sided relationship because he doesn't want to lose me!' Clair snapped.

Skyla ignored the blue-haired woman and walked up to Falkner. 'You're such a lovely guy. We've been beating around the bush, but I'm done with that. I want to be with you! Please just dump that bitch and be my boyfriend!'

Before Falkner could give Skyla an answer, Clair used Take Down and smashed Skyla on the ground. After she got up, the Flying specialist punched the Dragon Master in the face and pushed her on the ground. Both women kept fighting for a few minutes, much to the audience's amusement.

'JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!' the audience chanted.

Then, Falkner walked up to the women. 'You two can stop fighting now. I've made a decision. I want to be with Skyla!'

'What the fuck?' Clair shouted in surprise. 'I am way hotter than she is!'

'No, you're not. Actually, Skyla is even hotter than you are,' Falkner protested. 'And she actually respects me. She would never do to me what you are doing to me. You are an abusive partner!'

'I though you loved me!' Clair snapped. 'A few minutes ago, you said that you loved me. If you loved me, you would stay with me and allow me to have fun with other men!'

'No! That's not what love is!' Falkner protested. 'What you did to me during the past few months is the total opposite of what love is all about!'

'But Falkner, I love you! I will even forgive you for the hug she gave you if you stay with me and keep your mouth shut about our one-sided open relationship from now!'

'Are you fucking serious, Clair? I'm done with you!'

'But I love you!'

'Well, I don't love you anymore!' Falkner snapped. Then, he walked up to his new girlfriend for a French kiss and a tight hug. Clair tried to break the two apart and punch Skyla again, but Jerry's Chikorita used his Vine Whip to prevent that from happening.

Skyla dropped Falkner's trousers and put little Falkner in her mouth. Well, actually, this was big Falkner. Skyla could not stop sucking on that thing until her mouth was full of what Falkner jokingly referred to as Moo Moo Milk.

'JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!' the audience screamed.

Then, Jerry addressed the audience for his final thought. 'There is nothing wrong with non-monogamy. But this can only work if this is ethical non-monogamy. If both partners genuinely want to be in an open relationship or be poly. If someone pressures their reluctant partner into this, that is unethical. Especially if you try to force your partner to let you sleep with other people, without giving them the freedom to do the same. That is not an open relationship. That's cheating. If you do that to your partner, don't be surprised when they leave you for someone who actually respects them. Until next time, take care of yourself and each other.'