Author's Note: I am in my first full watch of LOST. Currently halfway through season 3. This is set in a sort of alternate / made-up ending at this point in the series. I love Kate and Sawyer and although they may not be end game, they will live on in fanfiction and our hearts.
Enjoy this short and leave thoughts and reviews, or requests if you'd like.
Dedicated to Robyn, the biggest LOST fan out there who lets me watch this show on her couch and yell at her tv every week
In Our Kitchen
Sawyer squinted at the page. He sighed and reluctantly pulled the reading glasses from his shaggy hair and placed them on the bridge of his nose. As he went back to searching the page to double check the oven temperature, the sound of keys in the front door was faint from the hallway. The door opened. "How was your visit?" he called out. Putting his glasses on the counter while listening for the door to fall back in its lock.
It took a moment before there was a response from the hall. Sawyer wiped his hands on the kitchen towel and appeared in the doorframe to the hall. He couldn't help but raise an eyebrow and smile as he watched Kate, bent over by the front door untying her boots. "Hey," he tries again.
"Hey," Kate finally answers, followed by a slight sign.
"How was the visit? How are the housewives of Oceanic?" he asked, trying to keep things light. A classic Sawyer smirk forming on his lips. Kate threw him a look. He lifted his hands in surrender.
Since being back, many of the survivors of flight 815 had stuck around the New England area. It was the place they had touched down to mainland once again and many had put off the idea of getting on a flight again any time soon; postponing returning to places they had once called home, and instead finding new places to start rebuilding their lives. So that Thursday afternoon, like every Thursday afternoon, Kate had met up with Claire, Penny, and Sun at a small coffee shop in the outskirts of Boston. Aaron, Charlie and Ji Yeon in tow. "They're all good. Claire is really starting to like her job. And Sun is absolutely glowing with little Ji Yeon," she responded. "The guys are looking forward to ping-pong night next week," Kate added. A light smile appearing on her face at the thought of the four of them hanging out at the pub down the street and battling it out around the old ping-pong table with a few beers.
However, Sawyer could see her smile faded quickly. She turned away from him as she hung up her jacket and checked her phone instinctively. Sawyer caught the flicker of her empty lock screen, confirming that no new messages needed her attention. Although probably barely noticeable to someone else, Sawyer saw the slight wrinkle of her nose. The drop in her shoulders. The longing to be able to picture the five of them at the bar instead. But Jack had not shown face at their weekly guys' night a few times now.
He could see the familiar pain in her eyes. The same worry she had carried for weeks. Growing slowly. Embedding deep into the cracks of existing concern and threatening to tear her apart gradually. Until one day where he wouldn't be able to comfort her anymore. Until the day where the part of her heart that didn't belong to Sawyer would break beyond repair. Sawyer had always known, and accepted, that Jack would be part of Kate's life. Of their life.
Each and every survivor of flight 815 was bonded and connected. And many turned to each other for support in finding normalcy in their life after their return. They knew what they had been through. They knew what they had endured was real, and raw, and life changing. Not a single person, news article, or online slander account could convince them otherwise. They found comfort in one another when doubt about what was real and what their journey had truly meant was hard to find. It had not been easy for any of them. Yet it had seemed to hit Jack the hardest. While the others were finding new meaning, Jack was stuck in finding meaning to the crash. He was slowly being lost to the island all over again. He might have returned on the flight with the other survivors, but mentally he was still searching for his way back.
And it killing Sawyer to see how it affected Kate. All he could do was be there for her. And try and remind her of where they were. That they were safe. That he would keep her safe.
"I know you're worried about him. But he'll turn up. So far he always has," Sawyer tried to comfort her.
Kate turned back to Sawyer, who was still standing in the archway to the kitchen. She tried so hard to suppress her concern, yet Sawyer always seemed to see right through her. Although at times she despised that he knew her so well, she also found extreme comfort in knowing that he understood every part of her. That he understood and accepted even the messy parts; the parts she might not even understand herself. He was not only the rock in their relationship, he was also the lighthouse beacon in any storm she might have to face. The light that always brought her home safely. Sawyer could always bring her back to the present moment.
A soft smile formed at the corner of her mouth. A wordless 'thank you' that spoke volumes. "I think I'm just going," she started. Pointing lazily up the stairs. A Kate indication she was in need of a warm bath. A way to soak her worries away. An almost daily routine to keep her sanity. She was about to step foot on the first step when Sawyer cleared his throat.
She turned and looked at him once again.
"But Honey," teasing emphasis falling on the unfamiliar nickname, "I made dinner". A cheeky grin spreading across his face. He cocked his head towards the pots and pans on the stove.
"I'm not very hungry," she responded a little sheepishly. Knowing full well he is not letting her get away with such a weak excuse. Her doubt is immediately answered with a disapproving look on Sawyer's face.
"Come on Freckles, it's almost ready." His voice low yet soft and caring.
As Kate passes him in the doorway, he leans down and kisses the top of her head. Her hair is pulled back in a messy bun. A slight scent of her strawberry shampoo swirls around Sawyer. He can feel Kate's pace slow just an instant. Falling into his touch for a fleeting moment.
The smell of lasagna fills the kitchen. Sawyer goes back to finish tossing the salad. Silence falls throughout the apartment. Yet it isn't uncomfortable. The two were often contend in sharing their space in peace and quiet. Having had the constant drone of waves crashing on the shore as their daily background music for so long, they had welcomed the true silence. Embraced it as another piece on undeniable evidence that they had in fact made it off the island. Sawyer would plop down on the couch and read any book he could get his hands on. Sometimes reading a paragraph out loud to share an anecdote or some interesting fact. While Kate would lay on the couch beside him, her head resting in his lap, filling out the day's crossword in the local newspaper. Every so often audibly reading a prompt to get Sawyer's input. Or she would pine over her next move on her ongoing online chess matches against Locke. Sighing in a huff when she lost…again.
So, this silence wasn't uncomfortable either. Yet Sawyer could feel it was different. He disappeared into the living room for a moment before returning when the oven timer beeped. Signaling it was ready to be turned to broil to finish off the lasagna.
He glanced over at Kate leaning against the kitchen counter a few feet away. He took her in for a moment. Taking a second to truly see her. She had taken her hair out of the bun. The brown curls now wildly falling around her face. She raked a hand through the curls. He may have fallen for a slightly hot-headed convict while stuck on an island, but he had fallen in love with the Kate Austyn he had gotten to know over the last few months.
Her freckles had faded a little; although the nickname had firmly stuck. The sun-kissed tan that he had come accustomed to had also faded a little. Long gone were the clothes they had been stuck with for months. The sage green, knit sweater she was wearing on this cool, autumn Thursday evening was one of his favourites. Bringing out her eyes. Only second to when she would steal his hoodie; almost drowning in the size difference. The skinny jeans she was wearing fit her well. He had to stop himself from pulling her close. To let his hands wander along the stitching. Only to have the jeans preferably end up in a discarded heap on the bedroom floor.
"Where are we, Freckles?" he asked her. Breaking the quiet lull that still hung around them. He once again didn't get an answer to his question. He raised an eyebrow. Seeing if she'd entertain him with the response he was waiting for. "Where are we, Kate?" he asked again. His tone lacking the playfulness with which he had previously asked her.
This caught her attention. "In our kitchen," she finally answered. Although she responded to his question, Sawyer could tell she was still miles away.
"Where are we?" Sawyer asked once more. His tone had changed again. It was softer now. As if he was gently trying to remind her of something. Trying to steer her in a specific direction. He began closing the distance between them.
"In our kitchen, James." Her words more pointed this time. She couldn't help but accompany the response with an eyeroll. She knew what he was getting at. They'd played this game before. However, tonight she wasn't in the mood. Kate pushed herself away from the counter and started towards the hallway. Once again planning on taking that much needed bath and leaving Sawyer to eat dinner on his own.
Nevertheless, she didn't get very far. Within her first step she could sense Sawyer beside her. His arm wrapped around her waist, stopping her in her tracks. With his hand on her hip, he tenderly pulled her close to his chest right away. Now they were standing, together, in the middle of the kitchen. Sawyer's other hand also fell on Kate's hip. He could once again feel her soften into his touch. One of his favourite feelings in the world. It was as if he could physically feel her letting her walls down.
Kate could feel the rise and fall of Sawyer's chest against her back with every breath he took. His chin tenderly rested on her shoulder. She let her head rest against his cheek. Her left hand found his on her right hip. The slight warmth of his hand inviting. Their fingers intertlacing comfortably. Kate's right hand reached up to cup Sawyer's face. Letting her thumb trace his jawline. The five o'clock shadow noticeable beneath her tender touch.
"We are in our kitchen," Sawyer broke the silence. This time his voice was deep, yet yielding and calm. "Our kitchen," he repeated. The words were starting to find their intended meaning. "I will spend every day reminding you of that." A sincere promise dripping off every single word he spoke. "Reminding you that we are in Boston. Reminding you that we are home. Reminding you that I'll protect you. I'll keep you safe."
Kate's eyes fell shut. Fighting back the sting in her eyes that threatened to become tears at any moment. Not necessarily sad tears, but perhaps more a mix of relief and liberation. It wasn't the first time Sawyer had said these words to her. However, each time he spoke them she was newly reminded how much he cared. How much he could see her.
"This kitchen is the heart of our lives. The true beginning to something new. Aaron took his first steps here." Kate opened her eyes and could picture little Aaron right there on the threshold to the hallway, wobbling over from an encouraging Sawyer to Claire's excited, outstretched arms a few feet away.
"Sun and Jin make sure to add a bottle of wine to that rack every time they come for dinner," he continued to list of. "Locke has sat at that kitchen table and beat me at more Backgammon games than I can keep track of."
Kate smiled. Memories filling the space around them. Dancing through the room like a collection of every beautiful moment created there. She let out a deep breath. Worry and unsettled thoughts slipping away just enough to pretend for a moment that they were gone.
"I won't argue that," Kate teased. Knowing full well that Sawyer tried his darndest to beat Locke each and every time.
"Watch it Freckles, otherwise next time John comes by I'll tell him you've found a new passion for Monopoly," Sawyer retorted quickly. His eyes narrowing, and a playful grin tucking at the corner of his mouth. He lightly pinched her side. Kate couldn't hold back a small squeal. Her eyes widened in surprise and perhaps a hint of embarrassment.
Usually always ready with a pointed and witty comeback, especially when it came to the ex-conman with the southern drawl, Kate drew a blank. Instead, she opted for a light elbow to his ribcage.
A huff escaping Sawyer's lips. His body had doubled over a bit by the unexpected attack. Causing him to close the last bit of distance he had between Kate and him. She was now well and truly wrapped in his arms. "Don't start something you can't finish," Sawyer warned, his voice low and husky. The gruffness of his voice almost vibration on her skin and sending small shivers down Kate's neck.
Kate pulled back a little and tilted her head so she could look him in the eyes. His expression was soft. The green in his eyes full of mischief but somehow also so much tenderness and sincerity. He was waiting for a response. Preferably a playful fight. The push and pull of their banter filled his world with delight. The fiery side of Kate's personality being his favourite enigma.
She searched his eyes for something. Comfort perhaps. And as always, it wasn't hard to find. Sawyer had looked at her that way for months. Met every concerning, worried look with reassurance. Even when she stood by the edge of the water, ocean waves crashing by her feet, that reassuring glace would find hers across the beach. Even behind the barrel of a gun, rain pouring down soaking every surface in the jungle around them, those eyes would tell her that he had her back.
Those same deep green eyes were looking down at her now. She lifted herself onto her tiptoes to close the space between them a little. Sawyer instinctively met her halfway. A simple kiss; really no different than the many they had shared before.
Sawyer deepened the kiss. Tender and casualness turning to longing and desire. Hints of strawberry scented shampoo swirling around him once more. Hypnotising him. Lost in the moment between them. His fingers lingered on the seam of her sweater. Lifting it just enough to feel the soft skin underneath his rough fingertips. Tracing the outline of her hip with his thumb.
Kate's breath hitched when she felt the cool touch of Sawyer's fingers on her skin. She couldn't help but smile into the kiss. Worries, as well as dinner plans, slowly beginning to fade into the evening. He had always known how to calm her nerves. If he wasn't the one causing them that is. But he also knew exactly how to spark desire.
Sawyer was the first to break the kiss. Immediately leaving Kate wishing for more. Missing him, even with him only a few inches away. "The same kitchen in which I learned…" Sawyer started, restarting the conversation that had led them to this point in time. He pulled away slightly. Kate could feel her weight returning to her feet, having been unaware she had practically let her weight fall into Sawyer since he had pulled her close. Instantly wishing to return to their previous embrace. Instantly longing to be have Sawyer's arms wrapped around her.
His left hand dropped off her waist. His right hand gently pushed her. Causing Kate to spin away from him until she was facing him again, now an arm's length away. But he didn't let go of her hand. "The same kitchen in which I learned you're a terrible dancer," he finished this time.
Kate furrowed her eyebrows as she scoffed. A playful glare forming on her face. However, before she could respond, Sawyer pulled her towards him again. This time still facing him. With a smooth motion, his free hand settled in the small of her back.
This was the first time Kate noticed that when Sawyer had disappeared for a moment earlier, he had gone into the living room to turn on the radio. A few beats of trying to recognize the notes and Kate knew it was the collection of Phil Collins' greatest hits. The cassette having stowed away with a few other belongings that had made it off the island. It's now familiar soundmelodiously filled the air.
Sawyer bend down a little, being eye to eye for a moment. "Don't worry Freckles, we still have plenty of time to practice," he teased. A cheeky grin tucked at the corner of his lips as his eyes had a slightly mischievous sparkle to them. Kate could feel her face flush red just a little. Almost annoyed at herself that she was giving him the satisfaction in this moment of knowing he was getting to her.
He took a small step forward, causing Kate to only really be able to follow his lead. Her right hand rested in his. Her left hand lazily rested on Sawyer's shoulder. The music from the living room created a light atmosphere as their attempt at a waltz started to take form. Slightly contained to the small open area of the kitchen, Sawyer compensated his stride skillfully and carefully, making sure not to cause Kate to whack a hip bone against the corner of the counter top. They had danced together plenty before. Kate had learned early on that the rough-around-the-edges conman melted into a true Southern gentleman when the right song filled a room. Having been raised by his mother, for however short he was graced by her presence, she had not failed to waltz around the living room with her rambunctious son. Kate on the other hand had two left feet when it came to dancing.
Yet she enjoyed it. The intimacy of it all. Sawyer's face laced with concentration as he led the motions. His hand in the small of her back keeping her close, as well as steadying her when she felt she was losing her balance. She liked to believe that in those moments their love for each other was well and truly visible to the naked eye. That any onlooker would be so lucky to feel even a sliver of what played between them. That they radiated even just a fraction of what Rose and Bernard put out into the world so effortlessly.
"Well, you're no Eliza Doolittle yet, but I'd say it's coming along quite nicely," Sawyer stated, his face a mix of teasing and sincerity. "It's been a whole two minutes and you've yet to step on my foot, Freckles. I'd say that's a win," he added. Kate's eyes narrowed. A comeback on the tip of her tongue. As she was about to respond, the oven dinged. Before either of them could even consider reaching for the oven mitts, the doorbell rang also. They exchanged a surprised glance.
Sawyer chuckled and shook his head slightly at the coincidence. "I'll go see whose disturbing diner, if you get it out of the oven." Kate nodded.
Before Sawyer could pull away, Kate got his attention. "Hey Sawyer," she said. He met her eyes. He studied her expression. It had softened from since she had walked through the front door. Worries certainly waded. He reached and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. Kate smiled at him. Fire spreading through his chest. Not the same way it had when they first met. The fiery sparks igniting within him when she would catch him stealing glances. And not the same way as when he saw Tom haul her into the bear cage across from his. Stunning in a floral sundress while simultaneously ripping him to pieces seeing her bruised and battered. When it had felt like an entire forest fire was roaring through his chest. Her weariness only being kindling to light his desire to get them out and away from there. And nothing like the weeks that followed being locked in those cages. When the fire within him seemed to burn his flesh from the inside out. Leaving him blistered. Not knowing when to add to the flames and when to just tend to the fire. Constantly getting scolded when a sudden flareup would catch him off guard, both good and bad. This time the fire in his chest was warm. A soothing comfort. An invitation to come closer and bask in the earnest of the calm flames. To enjoy its presence and seek security in its glow. Letting the constant flickers light the way.
He smiled back, waiting for her to finish whatever was on her mind. "I…this…" she was searching for the right words. "Our kitchen is one of my favourite places to be." She took a deep breath and let it out. A tear in the corner of her eye threating to roll down her cheek at any moment.
Sawyer's heart swelled. He cupped her face in the palm of his hand. Gently wiping away the almost tear with his thumb as he kissed her. Not wanting to break the kiss or this moment, however the oven dinged again. Immediately reminding him that he was also about to head for the front door. He pulled away reluctantly. Planted another kiss on her forehead and winked before he turned towards the hallway.
Kate opened the oven door as she heard the front door open. The smell of the fresh lasagna a warm greeting. Then she heard something she wasn't expecting. "Hey, Doc," Sawyer's voice carried from the hall. His tone gentle and relieved. Kate placed the lasagna on the table, not sure what to do in that exact moment. Not sure what sort of exchange was happening in the hall. Until she heard Sawyer's voice again. "Why don't you join us for dinner, Jack?" he asked.
A moment later Jack Shephard crossed the threshold of the kitchen. A hand ruffled through his hair. A slight sheepish smile forming on the corner of his mouth. He was about to say something, but Kate beat him to it. "Come in, Jack. It's good to see you." He nodded in agreeance. Worried that her words felt heavy, she lightened the mood. "And don't worry, I might have put the lasagna on the table, but Sawyer made it." The trio laughed for a moment, everyone remembering the disastrous dinner party from a few months ago that had been the tipping point for Sawyer officially taking over most of the daily cooking at their house. As the chicken Kate had made had been under cooked and burned at the same time.
"Take a seat. Water?" Sawyer asked. Jack nodded and thanked him as he headed to the table. Kate opened a cupboard door and reached for a third dinner plate. She caught Sawyer's eyes as he poured three glasses of water. Her eyes silently thanking him.
He once again winked at her. Reassuring and honest. A Sawyer way of telling her he had her back. She stood by her previous statement. This kitchen being one of her favourite places on earth. But it wasn't the smell of the lasagna, or the flowers in the windowsill, or even any of the beloved memories they had talked about earlier that made the kitchen feel like home. It was the man standing a few feet away from her. It was Sawyer. It had always been Sawyer. He was the lighthouse beacon bringing her safely ashore in any storm. He was the fire that burned every evening, keeping her warm. He was the reason she loved that kitchen. Knowing that their kitchen was the center of their life together.
Sawyer tilted his head, wondering why she was looking at him like that. He offered her another assuring smile. Which she reciprocated. With a glass in each hand, he started towards the dinner table. "Can you grab that one, please, Freckles?" his voice casual. He planted another kiss on her head as he scooted past her. Kate grabbed the other glass and followed him.
Author's Note: I hope you enjoyed this short! Please check out LOST | Kate Austen | The Bolter on YouTube. Robyn's edit is incredible and the most fitting Kate edit I've ever seen. You won't regret it