Chapter 4: Bad Hair Day:
Kali's Story:
The Queen figured that, with Snow White out of the picture, she can be the fairest in the land!
The mirror was gargling.
"Oh, for Pete's sake," I said.
"Sorry, Your Majesty, but a dirty mirror would never do for one as ravishing as you," says the Mirror.
"I suppose you're right," says the Queen.
"You know, cupcake, you must be from outer space because you are out of this world," says the Mirror.
"So, I'm the fairest one of all, huh," asks the Queen.
"No, but who cares if Snow White's the fairest..." The mirror then realizes what he said.
"What did you say," asks the Queen.
Suddenly, the mirror's wearing Groucho glasses. "The Mirror's not here at the moment, please leave a message after the beep!"
"MIRROR!"
"Uh... uh... I'm sorry! But that girl's a real charmer. Oh, ever since she moved in with those cute little dwarfs, she's been having the time of her life. Why, her smile's bigger and brighter. Heck, even her hair is shinier. She's pretty as a picture. See for yourself."
The girl dwarf babies were fighting over brushing Snow White's hair!
"She's not supposed to be having fun," says the Queen.
. . .
The Royal Jester was summoned.
"Greetings, your queenship," says the Jester, "you know what would happen if I made these eggs laugh? They'd cr*ck up. You get it? "crack up"? How would you like to go back to the glass factory?" Then things happened with his bag of tricks.
"Bravo! That was amazing. What else you got in that bag," asks the Queen.
"I got all the top-of-the-line tricks: belch powder... *burps* squirting toilet seat... bug in an ice cube... and doggy doo-doo."
An evil plan began to form in the evil mind of the evil queen. "Hey, let's say I wanted to play a trick on someone, something a little... messy. You got anything like that," asks the Queen.
"Do I have messy tricks? Do I have messy tricks?"
"Well, do you," I asked.
"I've got just the thing- my special sticky shampoo for a guaranteed bad hair day. The secret's in the glue."
"Really? I'll take a bottle. Make it a large," says the Queen.
The Queen then laughs, then the Jester joins her, then the mirror.
"What are we laughing at," asks the Jester.
"Beats me," says the Mirror.
They then get back to the laughing.
. . .
The Queen then arrives at the Dwarf Babies' house, disguised as the owner of a beauty shop on wheels. She then knocks on the door.
"Hello. Can I help you," asks Snow White.
"I'm selling this fabulous, new shampoo," says the Queen.
"Thanks. I'm really not interested, but have a good day," says Snow White.
"I'd have a better day if you'd try this stuff. It'll make your hairs mange-able and shiny," says the Queen.
"No, thank you," says Snow White.
Snow White was not an easy sell. She didn't really want the shampoo. But the evil queen was finally able to wear her down.
"All right already! I'll take it," says Snow White.
To Be Continued
In the next chapter, the Evil Queen thinks she's won!