[Craig's house, morning. Craig is lying in his bed when his phone alarm goes off, he rises from his bed yawning, and begins to chug a bottle of Cred. As he is brushing his teeth, he watches an influencer on TikTok]
INFLUENCER: Cred has more electrolytes than Gatorade or Prime. And now Cred has a new flavor, Cherry Bubblegum.
CRAIG: My god, there's more of them?
[Craig goes down to the kitchen and takes out two bottles of Summer Popsicle from the fridge. He thinks over which one to take with him, but then decides to just take both. He puts on inside his backpack and the other in his hand. He then walks his way towards the front door to school]
LAURA: Craig, do you really need to bring three bottles of that drink to school?
CRAIG: Mom, a kid today is defined by their hydration drink. That's how everything at school works right now.
[South Park Elementary. Craig is walking down the hallway, children are scattered around with their own bottles of Cred]
CRAIG: I got Cred, bitches, I got Cred.
I got Cred, bitches, I got Cred.
I got Kiwi Lime, I got Gooble Grape,
You got no Cred, bitches, But I got mine…
[Craig then notices Spencer Hollis, the new kid, who has six bottles of Cred with him. Craig pauses for a bit, before walking off, rolling his eyes]
[South Park Elementary Cafeteria. Children are eating their food along with their Cred energy drinks]
KIDS: We got Cred, bitches,
We got Cred!
Our teeth are blue, bitches,
Our tongues are red...
CRAIG: Yeah, but it's, like, seriously, look at how it's suddenly everybody now. Like that Spencer Hollis kid. He never even cared about Cred, he just drinks it 'cause some stupid influencer said it's cool now.
CARTMAN: Yeah, well, you're just saying that because Spencer Hollis has more Cred than you. [he then notices Clyde] Hey, hey, Clyde, where's your Cred?
CLYDE: Oh, um, it's in my… I-I already drank it.
CRAIG: See? That's what I'm talking about. Clyde likes Cred so much that he drank all his before noon. That's a real Cred drinker. Unlike all the poser Cred drinkers like [he shoots a glare at Spencer] Spencer Hollis!
SPENCER: [he gives Craig an annoyed look and flips him off] Fuck you.
CRAIG: [flips him off back] Fuck you, Spencer, nobody likes a poser!
[Principal's Office. Principal Victoria and Mr. Garrison are discussing the uprise of hydration drinks and how they're not safe for children]
VICTORIA: It's literally everywhere now. These crazy hydration drinks that say they're healthy, but are loaded with fake sugars and not safe for children.
GARRISON: Why now? Why are kids suddenly so into these things?
VICTORIA: Online influencers. They promote this stuff to kids to make money. I don't know what kind of scumbags would push adult things on something they know kids will watch.
[The door is repeatedly pounded on, before Mr. Mackey barges into the room]
MACKEY: You guys, we have a big problem!
GARRISON: What is it?
MACKEY: It's about the South Park elementary art teacher!
VICTORA: Mrs. Streibel? What about her?
MACKEY: We just found out that she's been… doing pornographic videos on OnlyFans.
GARRISON: Oh no.
MACKEY: Oh, yes. There's gonna be a big meeting tonight, and everybody's gonna see it.
GARRISON: Well, that brings poontang to a new level.
[South Park Elementary Cafeteria. A parent-teacher meeting is being held, parents are indistinctly shouting]
MACKEY: Alright, everyone. Uh, let's try to be civil here, m'kay.
ROGER: Be civil? How are we supposed to go home and explain to our children that their art teacher is a slut?
VICTORIA: She is not a slut, Mrs. Streibel is a woman engaging in a legal activity on a website that is for adults only.
RANDY: Of course kids are gonna see it. They see everything on the Internet.
GARRISON: Well, the problem is you all buy your kids phones. Just like you're all suddenly buying them all these unhealthy hydration drinks.
THOMAS: Oh, don't turn this around on us. We can't control what our kids drink or what they watch. They're your kids.
VICTORIA: Many teachers are struggling to get by and need ways to supplement their income. Mrs. Streibel makes close to minimum wage as a teacher, but on OnlyFans, she makes an extra $10,000 a week.
RICHARD: It doesn't matter how much she made, we're talking about someone who influences our children!
RANDY: Did she say $10,000 a week?
RICHARD: This isn't just softcore porn we're talking about, our kids should be aware of what they see online. Y-You've gotta understand that, Principal Victoria.
MACKEY: Listen, we have suspended Mrs. Streibel indefinitely, m'kay? But over the next few days, you should probably talk to your kids about what they might have seen, m'kay.
[Clyde's house. Roger is sitting at the table with his current girlfriend Janice. Clyde walks in, presumably after school has ended]
ROGER: Uh, hey, Clyde, w-why don't you come over here and have a seat?
CLYDE: What?
ROGER: Uh, have a seat, pal. We need to talk to you.
[Clyde pulls out a chair, and sits down at the table]
ROGER: Clyde… we're understanding that some tough things have been going on at school.
CLYDE: Yes. Yes, they have.
ROGER: Alright, well, we know that some of the stuff you're dealing with might be kind of disturbing.
CLYDE: Yes, it's totally disturbing, yes!
JANICE: Alright, Clyde, well, we want to try and help you.
CLYDE: [relieved] Really? You do? Oh, thank God! Finally!
ROGER: Yeah, pal, let-let me explain to you what "double penetration" is.
CLYDE: [confused] Double penetration?
ROGER: See, in your art teacher's OnlyFans page, her and two men, who love each other very much, wanted to express that love...
CLYDE: Dad, nobody cares about double penetration. My life at school is awful because you don't let me drink hydrating sports drinks like all the other kids!
JANICE: Clyde, we've told you, those things are filled with additives and fake sugar, and they're not good for children.
CLYDE: You're not even my real mom, Janice, so why don't you shut the fuck up?!
ROGER: [defensive] Clyde, that's enough!
CLYDE: Every other kid at school is allowed to have it! They all have Cred, but I have zero Cred because my dad and his stupid girlfriend think it's bad for me!
JANICE: Why do you want to be like all the other kids?
CLYDE: [yelling] Shut up, Janice, you're not my mom!
ROGER: [finally loses patience] Alright, Clyde, we're trying to have a nice talk with you about double penetration, but you can just go to your room now!
CLYDE: [shocked by his dad's outburst] F-FINE!
[Clyde storms off, and begins to make his way up the stairs]
CLYDE: Thanks a lot for making sure your son is the only kid in school without any Cred!
[Roger and Janice look at each other in bewilderment]
ROGER: [sighs] Sorry for raising my voice like that, Janice. He's never been this worked up like that in a long while.
[Clyde's room, meanwhile. Clyde is at his computer watching a video by Logan LeDouche]
LOGAN: It's like nobody understands me, you know? Like, all these stupid boomers and people over 40 don't know how hard it is for young people.
CLYDE: [sulky] Yeah.
LOGAN: Like, yo, if you guys feel the same way, just leave a comment down below and smash that like button.
[Clyde instinctively clicks his mouse, therefore liking the video]
LOGAN: You know, the most important thing is just to be yourself. And when I feel like I can't be myself, that's when I need a hydration drink that'll pick me up. That's when I need Cred.
[Logan pulls out a red bottle of Cred. Clyde then lets out a groan]
LOGAN: It's the coolest sports drink in the world. Cred is 100% sugar-free. Cred has electrolytes so you can ride your bike. And also, Cred has more vitamin A than your body could possibly ever use.
BOY: I can't feel my face!
LOGAN: Drink Cred or you're a piece of shit!
NARRATOR: Drink Cred at your school today. Not intended for children.
CLYDE: [to himself] Let it go, dude. There's no point in getting all worked up about it.
[Tegridy Farms. Randy is sat down on a chair wearing a blue checkered shirt and not wearing any pants or boxers. Throughout the shot the scene starts to focus from Randy's face to his entire body]
RANDY: Hey, guys, I know there's a lot of influencers out there trying to get your attention. And I just hope that you'll maybe take a moment to check out what I have to say here on My OnlyFans page. I hope you're all doing great, and if you're watching this PPV, I hope you'll consider subscribing. If you want me to give a shout-out for your social media, I can do that. And if you want it custom, just let me know if there's anything special you wanna see.
SHARON: [already there and watching Randy with his pants missing] What the fuck are you doing?
RANDY: [startled] Oh! Shit! Uh… [nervous laugh] Hey, Sharon, just supplementing my income.
SHARON: Are you serious right now?
RANDY: Alright, alright, Sharon, yes, I am an OnlyFans model. And I'm not ashamed of it.
SHARON: Goddamnit, Randy.
RANDY: What is with all the stigma Americans have anyway, huh? It's just my penis, Sharon. It's not a big deal.
SHARON: No, it's definitely not a big deal.
RANDY: Okay, good. Thank you. All I'm doing is taking back control of my sexuality on a platform that I can benefit from financially.
SHARON: So you're just gonna sit here and jack off for four hours a week just to make a few extra dollars?
RANDY: Well, I wish I could, but… Uh, you don't understand, honey. I jack off two hours a week anyways. Now I just do it a little bit more and make enough money to pay for the increase in gas prices. Rather that than that stupid Tegridy crap everyone is now sick of, right?
SHARON: [she pauses briefly on what she's about to respond with] If your children find out about this, they are going to leave home.
[Sharon walks out, with Randy following not long after]
RANDY: Children aren't allowed on OnlyFans, Sharon. It's totally safe. Kids aren't gonna see this. [Randy gestures towards his penis] Uh… Sharon? H-Honey?
[South Park Elementary. Children are scattered around with their own bottles of Cred. Craig walks down the hallway and notices Tweek and Pip, he runs up to them]
CRAIG: Hey, Pip, Tweek, you guys got a second?
TWEEK: For what?
CRAIG: Okay, you know how some kids in this school really like Cred and others just pretend to, but really they're posers like Spencer Hollis? Well, I think we should start a Cred affinity group.
PIP: What's an affinity group?
CRAIG: Well, it's where a bunch of people who have stuff in common come together and usually talk about how things can be improved for them. See, we're some of the legit Cred drinkers, and we should just let the very coolest kids into our affinity group.
TWEEK: But how would that work?
[Before Craig could respond, Clyde walks up towards them]
CRAIG: Oh, hey, Clyde. So where's your Cred?
CLYDE: Oh, it's just, uh… it's, uh, in my backpack again.
CRAIG: Oh, that's cool. Say, you guys think we should let Clyde into our affinity group?
PIP: That sounds fine with me.
[Just then, Stan, Kyle, Cartman and Kenny walk by the other four boys]
CRAIG: Hey, Stan. Do you want to be in our affinity group?
STAN: What's an affinity group?
CRAIG: It's where people who have stuff in common with each other come together and talk about how to make things better for them as well as standing by for what they believe in to make others look dumb.
KYLE: Dude, you can't just start an affinity group for people that drink Cred.
CRAIG: Uh, yeah, well, no one's inviting you, Kyle. 'Cause it looks like you don't even have any Cred.
KYLE: Yeah, I do! It's in my backpack!
CRAIG: Oh, sure, it's in his backpack, guys. Come on, let me see it.
KYLE: [takes off his backpack, and a bottle of Cred is seen] It's right here.
CARTMAN: Please Craig, we drink way more Cred than you guys do.
CRAIG: Yeah, well that's debatable. Tweek drank four bottles of Cred for breakfast.
[Tweek suddenly begins to grunt, twitching in the process. The school bell rings]
STAN: I don't want to be a part of any affinity group. It just sounds like trouble.
CARTMAN: Yeah, me neither. We got better things to do.
[The four boys walk away from Craig]
CRAIG: Well, we don't want you anyway. 'Cause I know you just pretend to like Cred 'cause it's a fad right now like all the other lame-o's in this school. [Craig looks towards a couple of students, after realizing that he's caused a scene] Hey, guys.
[The boys walk away. Craig catches up with Clyde]
CRAIG: Hey, Clyde, you got a sec?
CLYDE: For what?
CRAIG: I was gonna talk to you about your backpack.
CLYDE: What about my backpack?
CRAIG: Well, it's just… You know, it's really best to have a backpack that's got a water bottle pouch to put your Cred in. Like how you can see from here, I have my Cred bottle on the outside of my backpack. That way, people will know right away that you actually do have Cred.
CLYDE: Um, well, I-I don't think I can get a new backpack till my birthday.
CRAIG: Well, maybe just, like, use some tape or something to make your own bottle pouch, you know? 'Cause we definitely don't want you to look like you don't have any Cred, heh. Alright, see you in class, dude.
[He walks away, leaving Clyde feeling dejected and worried]
[Tegridy Farms. Sharon is at the kitchen table paying off bills, Randy walks in fully naked]
RANDY: Hey, Sharon. Can we talk? I feel like there's a lot of bad things going on in the world, and it gets so confusing sometimes, you know? I think, as Americans, we watch news about things happening in the Middle East and we just don't want to get involved. And I know it can feel like "What can I do? I'm not special, how could I ever make a difference?" But we can't let ourselves think like that. [Randy sits down at the table] Sometimes what it takes is just one person to start a movement. [Randy begins to hold Sharon's hand] One person, and then everyone else might follow.
[Sharon lets go of Randy's hand, and rests her glasses onto the table]
SHARON: I am not subscribing to your OnlyFans page, Randy. [She leaves the kitchen]
RANDY: Okay, well, you're a cunt. [Randy walks away from the kitchen. Sharon continues her work] Oh crap, what have I just said?
[South Park Elementary. Tweek and Pip are holding up a sign against a wall for their exclusive affinity group. Craig is surveying this from a distance]
CRAIG: Yeah, that looks good. Maybe a little higher on your side, Pip. Yeah, that's great. I think everyone can see that now. That should definitely make people feel unwelcome.
[Boys washroom, meanwhile. Clyde walks in and goes to a urinal, he notices writing on the wall which reads out: "NEED CRED? Behind temp. 12A". Moments later, at the playground, Clyde stealthily walks to the back of the Temp 12A Building, Nathan is waiting at the back with a cyan duffle bag around his arm]
CLYDE: Hey.
NATHAN: Hey. What's going on?
CLYDE: So... are you, like, selling Cred?
NATHAN: What? Selling hydration drinks on school ground is against the rules. [Nathan begins to whisper, and gestures to Clyde to come towards him] Come here, come here. [Nathan reaches towards Clyde's crotch, and then across his chest]
CLYDE: [shocked] What the- Hey, what are you- What the hell are you doing?!
NATHAN: [whispering] If you're wearing a wire, I will kick your ass.
CLYDE: [pushes Nathan away from him] Bro, I'm not wearing a wire! Do you have Cred or not?
NATHAN: Sure, I got Cred. What are ya' looking for? A little... Watermelon Strawberry?
[Nathan pulls out a pink bottle of Cred]
CLYDE: No, no, do you have any ones that don't taste like total ass?
NATHAN: Oh, you want the good shit. I got your Bubblegum Grape right here.
[Nathan pulls out a purple bottle of Cred]
CLYDE: Okay, how much?
NATHAN: [hesitates for a bit] 80 bucks.
CLYDE: $80, for a shitty fake sugar drink?
NATHAN: What do you think I'm runnin' here, a fucking charity for the homeless?! How about some Oatmeal Nummy Nums? [Nathan pulls out an orange bottle of Cred] I can get you into that for $65.
CLYDE: I don't have $65. What can I get for 3 bucks?
NATHAN: 3 bucks? Oh, sure. For that, you can get an empty Cred bottle.
CLYDE: What good is that gonna do me?
NATHAN: It's easy. You just fill your empty bottle with water, add a little food coloring. Everyone thinks you got Cred when you actually have no Cred.
CLYDE: [pauses for a bit] I'm not giving you $3 for just plastic garbage!
NATHAN: Cool thing, man. You just go back into the school without any Cred at all. See how long you last.
[Clyde pauses for a moment, then grabs three one dollar bills and throws them towards Nathan]
CLYDE: Here! [Nathan gives Clyde the empty Cred bottle. Clyde walks away]
[Tegridy Farms. Medium shrimp and rice noodles are on a white plate]
RANDY: Hey, guys, it's your boy Randy, and in this video we're doing authentic pad Thai for under $6. Now we're gonna start with some medium shrimp and some rice noodles. [two small bowls of fish and soy sauce, with a larger bowl of eggs] For the wet ingredients, we're looking at a couple eggs, some fish and also soy sauce. [cilantro and green onion are on another white plate] And then for garnish, we're gonna do a little cilantro, green onion, and then of course, we're gonna top that all off with some fresh nuts. [Randy's genitals are on the table] Those nuts are gonna give it that extra bite. Now, if you like what you're seeing be sure to smash that subscribe button. And…
SHARON: [walks into the kitchen with a bag of groceries] Get your balls off the table!
RANDY: [annoyed] Oh, oh, great Sharon! You just ruined the shot!
SHARON: [places the bag onto the stove] The guys at the deli wanted me to say hi, Randy. They all saw you on OnlyFans.
RANDY: Really? Are they gonna subscribe?
SHARON: [already losing patience] No, they're not going to subscribe! Nobody's going to subscribe, Randy! Will you fucking stop?!
RANDY: This stuff takes time! You don't just put up a page and immediately get followers. You have to support it with other social media, have a craft to teach... Being an influencer takes time, Sharon!
SHARON: Oh, so now you're an influencer?
RANDY: Yes! I'm an influencer!
SHARON: Maybe you should see how it feels, Randy. Maybe I should go and do my own OnlyFans.
RANDY: [he chuckles] What? What? Yeah, like people are gonna pay to see your OnlyFans.
SHARON: [begins to walk out of the kitchen] I'll make more than you do!
RANDY: Sharon, being an influencer is work. You got to pay for the lighting, for the sound, you got to be good at editing!
SHARON: Okay. Cool, Randy. I'm gonna go start an OnlyFans channel.
RANDY: Ok-okay. Okay, you go do that, Sharon!
SHARON: I'm gonna fucking do it!
RANDY: [walks over to the doorway of the kitchen] Okay, yeah, go supplement our income, Shar... [Randy briefly chuckles, before his tone changes] Sharon?
[Clyde's house, next morning. Clyde wakes up, he rises from his bed, and retrieves the empty bottle of Cred from his bedside dresser drawer. Clyde goes to his fridge, and grabs a bottle of apple juice. He then pours the apple juice into the Cred bottle, before twisting the cap back on. He packs the Cred bottle into his bag, as he walks past his computer, we see a Logan playing in the background]
LOGAN: You got this day, bro! You're strong and I'm gonna keep on making videos for you.
[Clyde walks down the stairs, and out the door, where he moves the Cred bottle to a small pouch on the side of his bag]
[South Park Elementary. Clyde is walking down the hallway partially bent down with a nervous expression, nearby children take note of his Cred bottle]
CLYDE: I've got Cred, bitches, I've got Cred.
I've got Cred, bitches, I've got Cred…
[Meanwhile, at the library entrance, Craig, Tweek and Pip are handing out flyers for their affinity group]
CRAIG: Hey, guys, we're having a Cred affinity group meeting today at 4:00. No one's allowed but us. Hey, Jordan. We're having a meeting today. You can't come.
TWEEK: We're having a meeting in the library today, Michael. You're not invited. G-AGH!
PIP: Affinity group meeting today, Sally. You're not allowed in, I'm afraid.
CRAIG: Well, I think that's just about everyone. Tweek, did you tell Spencer Hollis he's not allowed in the affinity group?
TWEEK: Yeah. You told me to call him last night. He didn't seem to care.
CRAIG: Yeah, like he cares.
[Just then, Clyde walks past the boys]
PIP: Oh look, there's Clyde.
CRAIG: Hey, Clyde, cool new backpack.
CLYDE: Oh, uh, yeah. You guys like it?
TWEEK: Yeah, it's really cool. You can see your Cred now.
CRAIG: Yeah, it's really nice the way your Cred is… [he suddenly notices what bottle Clyde is carrying] Oh, my God! Clyde! [Cartman grabs the bottle of Cred from Clyde's backpack] You got Moonrise Mellow? How the hell did you get a bottle of Moonrise Mellow?
CLYDE: Oh, it was just, uh, what my parents gave me today.
CRAIG: You guys, Moonrise Mellow is, like, the hardest flavor to get ever.
PIP: Oh, that's incredible!
CLYDE: Yeah, hey, I'm not sharing.
[Craig notices Stan, Kyle, Cartman and Kenny walking down the hallway, and makes his way towards him. Clyde follows him]
CRAIG: Hey, you guys! You guys!
CLYDE: No, no, dude, wait.
CRAIG: Check out what Clyde has; Moonrise Mellow!
STAN: That's impossible.
PIP: Oh, but he really does. Not many people have found that drink until now.
STAN: No, it's really impossible. Moonrise Mellow was discontinued months ago.
CRAIG: Guess you wish now that you were in the Cred affinity group, huh.
[The main four boys exchange looks at each other]
CARTMAN: It's probably fake.
KENNY: (Yeah, I don't think that really is Moonrise Mellow he has.)
CRAIG: Oh yeah? I'll prove it.
[Craig begins to open the bottle, and then begins to drink the contents of it. Clyde is visibly scared. A kid nearby has his phone out and is presumably recording. Craig suddenly realizes what he was drinking and quickly spits out the contents in Pip's direction]
CRAIG: Hey, what the hell? This is just apple juice!
STAN: Let's see. [Stan grabs the bottle of Cred from Craig's hand]
CLYDE: Hey, give it back!
STAN: [drinks of the contents of the bottle] Yeah, it's apple juice. You guys are posers.
[Kenny begins walking away. Stan gives the bottle Kyle before following him]
TWEEK: We're not posers!
KYLE: [drinks the contents from the bottle, before shifting his voice towards the other children around him] Hey guys! Cred affinity group uses fake Cred! [he begins to make his way down the hallway]
CARTMAN: [points towards Craig] Ha! Not so legit now, are you Craig!
[He runs off, laughing as a boy continues to record Craig and the others on his phone]
[Boys' washroom. Craig runs into the room, with Pip, Tweek, and Clyde following him]
CRAIG: What the hell have you done, Clyde?!
CLYDE: I'm sorry, okay?
CRAIG: Oh, he's sorry. He faked having Cred, but he's sorry?
CLYDE: Alright, look, my parents won't let me drink Cred, okay? They think it's bad for me.
CRAIG: …So you never had Cred?
CLYDE: [briefly pauses] No.
TWEEK: Oh my god!
CRAIG: We all said you had Cred in your backpack, Clyde. We fucking backed you!
TWEEK: What the hell are we gonna do?!
[Craig looks over to Tweek in concern before facing Clyde again]
CLYDE: Why do you guys care? I'm the one who doesn't have any Cred!
[Tweek runs over to Clyde and begins to shake him while Pip moves out of the way]
TWEEK: That's not how it works, man! If you don't have Cred, then everyone around you loses all their Cred!
[Tweek continues to have a firm grip on Clyde's shirt, but stops shaking him. Craig hesitates for a bit before walking a few steps away from the other boys]
CRAIG: [sighs] It's no use, we're all dead. Word is gonna spread through the school that our affinity group has no Cred and then we're gonna…
[Craig suddenly begins to gag, before running to a stall. He then begins vomiting]
PIP: How could you do this to us, Clyde?
CLYDE: I'm sorry! It was all under pressure!
TWEEK: I never even wanted to be in an affinity group, now I'm doomed!
[Craig continues to cough and vomit in the toilet cubicle]
[Tegridy Farms, meanwhile. Randy is watching a video by Sharon on OnlyFans]
SHARON: [moaning] Ooh... oh. Oh, yeah. You like that, guys?
RANDY: Oh my god.
[Sharon in the video, continues moaning as Randy watches in bewilderment]
RANDY: Oh, my God. She did it. She actually did it. She actually got more subscribers than me.
SHARON: [moaning] Ooh, yeah, guys. Oh, yeah. Just let me know if there's anything special you'd like to see, guys.
RANDY: 3,100 subscribers. How is that possible? I mean, look at that, the lighting sucks. The sound keeps clipping like she got a microphone at Walmart or something. And who's that guy? He's blocking half the shot. This is total amateur hour!
[Randy is viewing his own OnlyFans page while on a call with a representative of OnlyFans]
REPRESENTATIVE: Thanks for calling OnlyFans customer support. How can I help you?
RANDY: Yeah, I just found out that my wife has an OnlyFans page, and in one day she has more subscribers than me. I'm starting to think this whole thing is rigged.
REPRESENTATIVE: Well, it is slightly easier for our female content creators to find an audience.
RANDY: Look, my wife can't become a bigger influencer than me. I'll never hear the end of it.
REPRESENTATIVE: Well, sir, have you been trying the pointers we discussed to reach a larger audience?
RANDY: Yes! I added a skill. I'm advertising my OnlyFans page with TikTok and Instagram.
REPRESENTATIVE: What about optimizing your algorithm?
RANDY: Oh, um, how do I do that? [Randy grabs at his genitals]
REPRESENTATIVE: No, no, no. Not with your penis. See, what a lot of influencers will do is they talk about things and show things in their videos that are trending. Then you can hashtag that, and the search engines will think your content is trending.
RANDY: So I... add stuff to my videos that's popular, and people will accidentally go to my page trying to search for that popular thing.
REPRESENTATIVE: Exactly.
RANDY: That's perfect! But what's trending most on the Internet right now?
[Donovan Residence. Clyde arrives home from school, as he opens and then slams the front door behind him]
ROGER: Oh, hey there, Clyde. How was school?
CLYDE: You wanna know how school was? [he pauses for a bit before exploding] It fucking sucked! All I wanted was to have a little bit of Cred at school, [he throws his backpack onto the floor in a fit of anger] but now I've destroyed it and everyone hates me!
JANICE: Oh, Clyde, we're always trying to do what's best for you.
CLYDE: And you shut the fuck up, Janice! YOU ARE NOT MY MOM!
[he runs upstairs as his dad calls after him]
ROGER: Clyde!
[Later, Clyde is in his bedroom at his computer watching a video by Logan LeDouche]
LOGAN: I seriously can't stand how stupid people are sometimes. That's why I do all my pranks and stuff. [Logan is punching a red punching bag] Sometimes it's impossible to stay positive when everyone sucks so hard. If you like what I'm saying in this video, smash that like button down below.
[Clyde instinctively clicks his mouse, therefore liking the video]
LOGAN: You know, the thing is, when you really feel the most down, that's when you got to fight the hardest, you know? I'm gonna give you 10 tips to being tougher. But first I want to give a shout-out to our sponsor Cred hydration drinks!
[Logan adjusts the punching bag, revealing the Cred logo. Clyde lets out an exasperated sigh]
LOGAN: Cred gives you all the energy you need! And now Cred has an all-new exclusive flavor. [Logan is in a blue Cred costume, and is holding two Cred drinks] Introducing new Mega Cred. It's a super limited edition only available to a select few. [Clyde suddenly becomes intrigued by this] And Cred's doing a big giveaway and maybe these super limited edition bottles can be yours.
[Red's house, moments later. The doorbell rings and Pip walks towards the door to open it, revealing Clyde]
PIP: Oh hello, Clyde. Fancy seeing you here.
CLYDE: Pip, I may've lied about having Cred and completely screwed everything up for you guys this morning, but… I've found a solution to all of this. [he finds a poster of Mega Cred on his phone and shows it to Pip] Tomorrow, they're gonna be holding a free giveaway of a limited edition flavor of Cred in Pueblo called Mega Cred.
PIP: Oh, I don't know if that would be possible, Clyde. I still need to finish my homework for tomorrow.
CLYDE: Hey, forget about that, that's not important right now. If we bring back a type of Cred no one has ever got before, we'll be saved.
[Pip begins to mull over about the plan]
CLYDE: Call Tweek over to meet us and we'll all go over to Craig's house this afternoon.
PIP: Well, alrighty then. We'll do it this afternoon. [he closes the door and heads back to the living room, presumably to phone Tweek]
[Mr. Garrison's house, meanwhile. Mr. Garrison is busy watering his front yard as Randy walks past him]
RANDY: Hey, Mr. Garrison? I need to ask you something.
GARRISON: Sure, what is it? You need some Viagra or something?
RANDY: Huh? No, this is serious. I need to find the latest thing that's trending to get more subscribers.
GARRISON: Let me guess, your wife started making videos on OnlyFans?
RANDY: Yeah, how'd you guess?
GARRISON: Well, I have been watching her latest video this morning after school. Just don't tell anyone about this because Principal Victoria might fire me if she finds out.
RANDY: Yeah, I won't. But please, where can I find this thing that's trending?
GARRISON: Oh, you mean Cred? Someone anonymous contacted me online and wanted me to give you this [he gives Randy a note and he reads it]
RANDY: "Head on over to Denny's and I'll give you some Cred to boost your views." Well, anything to beat my wife. See ya'! [he walks away while Mr. Garrison gets taken aback by what he said]
GARRISON: I'm sorry, what?
[Denny's. Randy and Nathan are sitting at a booth]
RANDY: So I looked it up, and there's this drink called Cred that's the most searched thing on the internet. I figured if I can get my hands on some of the more hard to get bottles and put them in my videos, maybe I'll get more traffic. Everyone says maybe you can help me.
NATHAN: Cred? What's Cred? Never heard of it.
RANDY: Okay, look, I'm not wearing a wire. You want to see?
[Randy begins to stand up]
NATHAN: No, no, I don't want to see! What the hell is wrong with you?
[Randy then sits back down]
RANDY: I'm looking for a lot of Cred. Maybe I can even get them to eventually sponsor my adult web channel.
NATHAN: Oh, okay. Then you'll want some of the harder stuff that's marketed for adults only. Like maybe... Peppa Pig Peppermint. [Nathan pulls out a bright pink bottle of Cred from his duffle bag]
RANDY: That doesn't sound like it's marketed for adults.
NATHAN: Oh, well, maybe you want to try the I'm a Big Boy Blueberry. [Nathan then pulls out a dark blue bottle of Cred]
RANDY: Alright, look, just… How much for the whole bag?
NATHAN: You want my whole bag of Cred?
RANDY: I want you to supply me with every bottle of Cred you can find. I have to have more subscribers than my wife.
[end of Part 1]