Constance could only sleep for another few hours after sending Mildred back to bed. She awoke to the loud chimes of the breakfast bell before she turned over on her side to check on Mildred. The girl was still sleeping soundly, undisturbed by the usual wake-up call that she so often slept through, making herself late as a result.
Constance found, that despite her exhaustion, her mind had been racing from the second she put her head down on the pillow. She kept thinking about the last thing Mildred had said to her before she fell asleep, and the words were swirling around in her mind.
Was it true that Mildred knew she'd endured a tragic back story? Surely Constance didn't wear her emotions so openly. Surely the rest of the school was entirely convinced she was a mean character, cold and cruel in a way that stopped anyone from hurting her again. Yet, something about Mildred enticed her. She couldn't believe how observant and empathetic the child was. Even at her lowest point, she still managed to understand what Constance was thinking and broadly feeling. It was an incomprehensible talent.
The potions teacher found herself softly smiling at the child below her, feeling content for she had saved the life of someone so kind and so understanding. She truly admired her in this moment, and was determined to sort things out for her.
With that revelation, Constance slowly removed herself from the bed, careful not to pull Mildred from her dreams, as she brushed her hair and styled it back into its usual form, before slipping into her china-print black dress and moving swiftly from her room.
'Oh Constance! Goodness, I had been worrying about you!' Amelia exclaimed, a hint of sternness evident in her tone.
Her deputy had just crept into her office, looking as if she'd seen better days. Constance was uncharacteristically quiet as she entered, looking rather small and shy. Amelia had been thinking about her last night, for she was unable to find her after she'd run off into the storm after Mildred. She chose to assume that the two of them were at each other's throats again after the truth came out yesterday, but Amelia truly believed that Constance was simply better equipped to deal with these things rather than she was. She was aware that the woman had also experienced similar problems, almost 20 years ago now, so she knew that a heart to heart would be beneficial for the both of them before she intervened.
Constance did not say anything at first. Feeling rather sorry for the younger woman, Miss Cackle beckoned her to come forwards so they could sit down together.
'Yes, well, I am really sorry. I didn't mean to worry you, but I have been rather occupied over the last 24 hours' Constance responded, eager to continue with the conversation but unsure of where to start. She moved herself closer to the headteacher's desk as she pulled out the plush chair in which Mildred had occupied in their meeting yesterday, before perching herself on the edge of it.
'I am assuming you have found Mildred?' Amelia asked tentatively. 'I came to check on her in her bedroom last night, and then for you in your room a little later, but I couldn't find the pair of you for the life of me!'
'Yes, I need to explain why that is-'
'Students started to worry, Constance.' Amelia interrupted before she could continue. 'There were some obscene rumours that Mildred was in terrible danger outside of the castle, and that you'd shoved multiple people out the way in order to reach her! I can't imagine that to be true though, for surely Mildred Hubble could never make you run after her!' Amelia joked, as she explained the situation deep in thought. She didn't know what to believe as she wondered how on earth her deputy would approach Mildred after yesterday.
'Even her little gang, mostly Maud and Jadu, were asking me if she was okay. They looked rather concerned actually, which is surprising after-'
'Oh! Surprising indeed' Miss Hardbroom drawled, anger starting to show in her tone. 'Now them idiotic girls decide to show compassion for the poor girl after their awful and unkind behaviour over the last few days. Honestly!'
Constance couldn't recall having felt so passionately about the situation until she spoke. Maybe it was the events of the night before, or maybe she had been resenting the situation for such a long time, but she felt so protective over Mildred right now. She wanted to see justice through for her, as she knew what it was like to loose all your friends at the hands of someone evil.
'Now, now, Constance. You mustn't get so wound up by this, remember you still need to remain neutral as a teacher. Best not to get involved, okay?' Amelia urged, unsure about where this conversation was going.
'I'm afraid I am going to have to disagree, Amelia. Do you remember all those years ago, when I came to this school as a terrified young girl after all those awful years at college? Well, imagine if you 'hadn't got involved'? Imagine how horrendous life could have been for me if I hadn't had you fighting on in my corner.' Constance expressed, feeling just as vulnerable now as she had back then.
'Well, Amelia, I now need to do the same thing for Mildred, so please excuse my emotional speech. I know I have had my fair share of those recently, but I am finding it hard to remain neutral after the last 24 hours I have had - sorry, we, that is Mildred and I, have had'.
'Of course, Con. Please, tell me everything and I will endeavour to advise you. Go ahead'.
Taking a deep breath and looking around the room rapidly, Constance began.
'I'm going to just come out with it and say it as simply as I can, for there is no sugar coating it...' she trailed off, unable to meet Amelia's eyes as she felt herself becoming upset by the conversation.
'Sorry, I do not know why I've been so emotional this year, it's unnatural for me, I know. After I left your office, I ran after Mildred, so yes, that is true. In fact, most of it is true. I ran and I ran before I found the child by Waterstones Lake. I knew immediately what she was trying to do. She had tried to d-drown herself' Constance stammered. Her leg was bouncing on the floor next to her, a clear Constance-sign of built up anxiety.
'She had clearly decided that what was happening was all too much for her to cope with, having lost her friends and her entire life as she'd known it. I think it would have happened in the end anyway, whether she had told us what was happening or not. There's only so much of these things that one person can take, and believe me, Amelia, I know'.
Amelia nodded solemnly. Her heart was breaking as she thought about one of her students experiencing something so awful. How horrible it must have been for Mildred to believe that ending her own life was the only way to escape from her pain. And how horrible it must have been for Constance to relive something like that through someone in her care.
Before Constance could continue, Amelia stood up from her chair and crossed over to Miss Hardbroom's side of the desk. Constance looked up at her in confusion before Amelia wrapped her arms around her, squeezing her tightly.
'I'm so sorry sweetheart' she whispered, rubbing comforting circles on her back. 'I should have trusted you. I should never have forced you to stay away from Mildred, and I should have taken the entire thing more seriously.'
Constance nodded into Amelia's shoulder in agreement, unable to say anything as she was determined not to cry, for she would not stop otherwise.
'I am sorry that this went so far, and that you were the on who had to pick up the pieces. All I wanted was to protect you, and I only ended up causing more danger for you. You have been so brave, Constance and you are both safe now, I promise. I promise I will listen to you from now on'. Amelia reassured her, speaking with such passion but also such shame for herself.
Constance pulled away from Amelia before muttering her thanks. She was so choked up right now but she knew she must continue with the full re-account.
'I-I saved her life, obviously. I was so nearly too late, and it was terrifying, but I managed to. She'd managed to cast a heavy-weight sinking spell, which is very advanced, but I guess if you want something so badly it comes much easier to you' Constance thought, sadly.
'She just held onto me after that. I knew that she wasn't trying to harm herself anymore so I brought us both back to the shoreline and then removed us to my room. She's still asleep in there now. I know that may not be appropriate but I wanted to keep her safe'.
'Don't be silly, Con. It was the right thing to do and I trust your judgment. I think, however, we should wake up Mildred and bring her here to explain her side of the story. It's not that I don't believe you, but I am conscious that Mildred never really explained everything to us yesterday. We need to get to the bottom of who, exactly, caused her all this trouble and what we are going to do next.' Amelia stated. She was finally taking charge of the situation as she seemed to find her feet again. She was desperate to restore both Constance and Mildred's faith in her, and it was going to start today.
'Indeed. I shall go and fetch her' Constance stated before standing up sharply again.
'There's no need, Miss Hardbroom. I'm already here...'
A frail Mildred was stood in the doorframe to the office, still dressed in her teacher's dressing gown, now wearing her own pyjamas underneath it. Constance having accidentally left the door ajar during her entrance allowed Mildred to overhear a piece of their conversation.
'Mildred! Oh goodness, you should still be in bed!' Constance exclaimed, fussing over the girl. She was shocked that Mildred had followed her down here when she believed she was still safely asleep upstairs. She had given her teacher quite a fright.
'I am sorry miss, I wasn't prying - I promise!' Mildred defended herself, scared that she was about to be scolded. 'I've just arrived, you see. I woke up and I was by myself which frightened me a little. So I came to find you Miss Hardbroom after I'd gone to get my night clothes, and then I heard your voice, and well, then I'd-'
'Started to eavesdrop? It's okay, Mildred' Constance mocked, although not really angry. She was just glad to see Mildred alive, walking and talking once more.
'Come in here, dear' Amelia requested, reaching out her arm to Mildred before wrapping it over her shoulders as the girl neared her.
'Yes, sit.' Miss Hardbroom commanded, pointing sharply to the chair right next to her.
Mildred sat.
'Thank you for making a reappearance, Mildred. Miss Hardbroom has just informed me about the events of yesterday, and as I have just said to your form tutor, I am terribly sorry that I let so much go unnoticed and I can only hope we will work together now in order to fix things' Amelia pleaded.
'Yes, Miss Cackle. I understand. You didn't know how to deal with it and that's okay. I had Miss Hardbroom to look after me anyway, so it all worked out fine in the end'.
'Well, 'fine' is an exaggerated understatement' Constance shrugged as she rolled her eyes into the back of her head.
Mildred could do nothing but look sheepishly around the room.
'Perhaps you could tell us exactly what happened over summer, and what you have been feeling since you came back to school?' Miss Cackle continued, eager to find out the whole truth.
'There is no judgment here, Mildred. I promise you that we are here to help and nothing will happen without your permission.' Miss Hardbroom encouraged her.
Mildred nodded as she started to retell her version of events.
'It started at the very beginning of summer. My mother had been seeing this man called Ezra for a few months before I returned home, perhaps since January as he was not there during my last Christmas holiday. He was the one who hurt me.'
'And was he a wizard?' Constance questioned. If she knew who this man was, she was going to rip him and his reputation to shreds.
'No, actually, I think that was part of the problem. He saw me out in the garden one day. I was practicing spells for your summer project Miss Hardbroom, for I did actually try on that, I promise! Anyway, he saw me and he absolutely hated it. He's a very religious person and he seemed to believe that magic or anything of the sort was satanic and evil, and that he had to stamp it out of me'.
Constance felt a nauseating pang of guilt as she put the two and two together. Her summer project had mostly likely been the reason that Mildred had endured all that pain. She was never going to set summer work ever again.
'Don't worry Miss Hardbroom, I know what you're thinking. Summer project or not, I would have performed magic anyway having been a part of this world for so many years by now.'
'I-' Constance did not know what to say as Mildred had read her so easily, yet again. She was going to have to seriously look into this empathy business.
'He corned me when my mother was out one day. First of all he just threatened me with words, but then his abuse turned physical. It just wouldn't end. As I said yesterday, I was hit almost every day. Some days were worse than others. I could escape with a nosebleed one day and then several broken ribs another, but I just put up with it.'
'And your friends, did they not know? Surely you tried to contact them and get help?' Miss Cackle questioned as Constance nodded in agreement.
'No, I never contacted them. He took away a lot of my possessions and blackmailed me. He said that if I told anyone, he'd leak all sorts of things about me. You see, he'd take photos of me, force me to undress or he'd do it himself as I was sleeping in an attempt to control me. I was too scared to contact anyone in the end. I just had to keep thinking about going back to school in order to survive the summer.'
'Sorry if I am just making assumptions now, Mildred, but did the abuse become more than just physical hitting and verbal threats?' Constance asked, careful to not use any graphic descriptions.
'Yes, as you can imagine, by the end of the summer, he eventually started to do things to me. He would touch me sometimes in places that he shouldn't, and he'd force me to do all these things back to him. When I refused, he'd hit me more, so I just did it. I know that's disgusting but I-I didn't know what-what else to do' Mildred whimpered as a singular tear rolled down her cheeks, all three of them sat in silent shock.
'Oh bless you lovely' Constance whispered as she brushed Mildred's fringe out of her eyes. She knew exactly how that felt. Her and Mildred's experiences really were so similar.
'How awful for you. What on earth did your mother think?' Amelia asked.
'I think she knew, deep down, that something was going on. She seemed to think the sun shone out of Ezra's arse so she chose to ignore it all. I don't think she was scared of him, but I do think she wanted his validation so she never put me first. Eventually she stopped bothering with me so I left early on my last day and wrote her a sarky note which she never acknowledged. It's been 6 weeks and she's not written once' Mildred explained, with pain in her eyes. She spoke with such maturity as the two women realised how much older and wiser she had become.
'Forgive me for saying this, but if that is the case she is a pathetic excuse for a mother. How on earth someone could do that to their own baby is disgusting' Constance spat, shaking slightly.
'And how have you felt since coming back to school? I know the answer to that is rubbish, but was there anything that steered you towards the lack of eating and the hurting yourself? Constance interrogated further as she recollected herself. She was trying to be patient but she was so enraged with what she had just heard that she wanted to know everything all at once.
'I got in a physical fight with Ethel on the first day back. I know that's not acceptable and I was so angry with myself afterwards. I thought I was just like - like him, and it scared me.'
'You're not like him at all' Constance reassured her, choosing to ignore the fight.
'Either way, I pushed my friends away after that. I refused to let them in because I didn't want to hurt them, but I did in the end anyway. They told Miss Drill, who suggested changing my diet and my exercise. She was trying to help because that's what worked for her, but it only made things worse for me. Then our fight happened and you ignored me and I felt so awful that everything just spiralled after that. I felt crazy and I did impulsive things like self-harm, fighting with my friends and misbehaving. I know it is wrong but it makes me feel better. It's like I have some sort of control over that element of my life while I have no control over the rest' Mildred finished.
Constance eyed her up carefully as she found that she finally believed Mildred. For once, she had told her the entire truth and she could see the weight lifting from her shoulders before she asked one more thing of her.
'Please can you show me your arms?' she requested.
'Why?'
'I want to make sure they're properly cleaned and are healing. And I also want to see all the times you've needed me when I wasn't there.'
Constance was torturing herself and they all knew it, but Mildred could do nothing but conform.
As Mildred rolled up her sleeve, tears began to form in her form tutor's eyes once more, before Amelia went over to the cupboard and pulled out a first aid kit which she handed to Constance.
'Thank you for telling us, Mildred. I am very proud of you and I am sure Miss Hardbroom is too'.
Constance could only nod her head as she reached over to grab Mildred's arm before bandaging it carefully.
'We will not be contacting home, obviously, but I would like to involve some of your closest friends in this when you feel ready. Despite everything, I know they love you Mildred and they want to see you get better just as much as we do. I would urge you to talk to them as soon as you feel ready. In the meantime, myself and Miss Hardbroom shall figure out a plan to get things sorted and to get some help put in place for you. Please just continue to focus on your school work and getting better while we handle it.' Amelia explained, meaning every word.
'And next time you feel like hurting yourself, you come to me, Mildred. Please promise me that. Any time of any day, morning or night, I am here to help you. I promise I will look after you and we will get this sorted together'. Constance stated passionately as she finished bandaging her student.
'Of you go now, child. Go back to your room and take today off before we see you back at it again tomorrow. You know where we are if you need us.' Amelia finished.
With that, Mildred got up and left the room, smiling back at her teachers as she went. For the first time in months, she felt true relief as she made her way back over to the fourth year corridor, finally ready to talk to her friends again.