Author's Note

I do not own A Song of Ice and Fire.

Jon is a child, and does not understand his siblings. Robb is scary, with his claws and fangs, while Sansa has a sweet smile, but all the animals move with her hands, even the dead ones and sometimes the people. And once even Jon.

Jon is a child, and his siblings scare him.

#

Jon is eight, and his father is sending him away. Arya became a monster and ripped his arms and legs open, and Lady Catelyn doesn't want him to stay after that. People say she doesn't need to be kind to him, but she always is, and Jon thinks he wouldn't have minded if he'd been her son. He would have been a better son than Robb.

Father sends him away to live with the frog-eating Crannogmen. They're not scary, and Jon likes his new friend Meera. Meera plays with him like he sees Ser Cassel's daughters doing together. They had never let him join when he asked.

Jon is eight, and he prefers his new home.

#

Jon is eleven, and he has been living at Greywater Watch for three years. Lord Howland – who has asked him not to call him that – is good to him, and treats him kindly. Meera is only a little younger than him, and fights just as fiercely as he in the training yard. Jojen is small and frail, but Jon helps carry him when he cannot walk and they play quieter games so he is not left out.

Sometimes he misses Winterfell. He misses his father and his kind smile, and he misses Lady Catelyn and her warmth towards him. He doesn't miss his strange siblings with their fangs and their claws and their wildness.

Jon is eleven, and he wants to have a crannog of his own.

#

Jon is thirteen, and he returns home to Winterfell. Meera and Jojen come with him, and he never relaxes, ever on edge whenever they are outside their room. No place in Winterfell is safe, not now Bran is born, for Bran has eyes and ears everywhere. He could sink his claws into the Reeds if he wants to, and Jon must protect them. So too must he protect Jeyne Poole and Beth Cassel, who are so small and vulnerable against the ferocity of his siblings.

Often he misses Greywater Watch. He can never relax here, he must always be on edge. The only good thing comes when Lady Catelyn makes him a true Stark and hugs him close. Meera and Jojen stay at Winterfell for many moons, and Jon loves them all the more for it.

Jon is thirteen, and he dreams of monsters of ice and fire.

#

Jon is sixteen, and his father has been named Hand of the King, while his foster father is to be castellan of Winterfell and mind his siblings. His siblings listen to him, but they also flash fangs behind his back. Jon bids Ghost to stay close to Howland and watch for his siblings, and Ghost is well-trained so he does.

Howland is overwhelmed by his siblings, but he never complains. He hopes to guide Rickon and Arya into better socialising, and trains Robb on ruling. Jon can never let his guard down, and the only time he feels at ease is when he and Meera slip from the castle to take moments in the woods. Meera's hand fits well in his, and when a group of Wildlings come upon them they exchange no words as they fight.

Jon is sixteen, and if he could fly, he would take Meera far from here.

#

Jon is sixteen, and Robb has received news that their uncle Benjen is missing Beyond the Wall. His siblings want to charge out and rescue him, but Rickon and Arya are young and Robb is Lord of Winterfell. He cannot charge out on a fool's errand to find his uncle.

"But I can," Jon says.

Robb agrees, but Howland disagrees and in the end no consensus is reached. Jon makes plans of his own. He's never sure how Jojen knows, but he does, and he knocks on Jon's door the night he plans to leave.

Winterfell is his home, and he can find his way past the guards even now. Robb must know he's leaving, but Robb agrees with the decision and never stops them.

Jon is sixteen, and sometimes he thinks his family considers him unimportant.

#

Jon is sixteen, and he has never considered how far the Wall is from Winterfell. Robb sends men after him and it takes them a day to catch up, but they're there to help him, not to drag him back to Winterfell.

They make good time travelling, and it takes them a little over two weeks to reach Castle Black. Lord Commander Mormont greets them warmly and with exhaustion in his eyes. "I cannot advise this course of action."

Jon holds his head high. "I've come all this way, and I don't intend to go back now. If you don't allow me to pass here, I'll find somewhere else."

Jon is sixteen when he crosses the Wall and something painful roars inside him, as though his ribs are being torn open.

Jon is sixteen when he emerges on the wrong side of the Wall and tastes magic in the air for the first time.